Kat657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwpkQclNPDX
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbJ1a9XQ8hL
January 1, 2005
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Same day
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657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAxv52oQkOP
"That's... not... I wasn't..." I try to explain, but now that the lust haze is gone, I am unable to rationalize my actions. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhTEqcXZaCV
Was that what I was doing? I wanted to stop thinking about everything and I figured with what I heard about Ben, he wouldn't complain. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ5lvA9LN6o
"Ugh... I'm such an idiot." I cover my face with my hands. I just want to get out of here. Laying next to him in my underwear after being rejected is so embarrassing. I need to leave.657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡORRSFH02Dn
He pulls my hands away from my face. His eyes meeting mine. "No, you aren't. You are just hurting."657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTdCAEJ2JBg
Is that it?657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFowffIVcck
When I caught him with that whore, I was almost relieved. Maybe I'm just not processing my emotions properly... 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQVIZ1wI8Ok
I should be devastated. I mean, I am really upset, but I feel more like I'm mourning the life I lost, not the person. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdnerrB1Gck
I think he wanted to get caught. He probably hoped I would join in or something.657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF40Xo1K3zz
What a creep. How could I give so much to him? I cannot let myself get wrapped up in another man like that again. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCzOFcqiRaA
I need to be strong. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjaGmgHUyYC
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNOEC90ckA5
I need to be independent. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzU7wzOkfpH
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2pmHKEqk7v
I need to make better choices. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ZQ3mnU8cd
I need to... not be here. Crap.657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlsoGQNgSWH
Ben makes me feel weak and vulnerable.657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZAm8kxcNvc
But also powerful and wanted. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTfVUtjgl5s
Ugh... I am so confused. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHwtTfnrvCY
I do know that hopping from one guy literally onto another is not a good choice.657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbmpgN5HwGk
I also know that nothing casual can happen with my best friend's boyfriend's best friend. That would be all kinds of complicated. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi44RehUEJr
Hopefully I haven't made things too awkward. Oh god, what if they get married? I will have to see him all the time. I will be reminded of this night forever.657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ10aJCYkQAO
He smirks, tucking my hair behind my ear. "There she is, the wheels are turning again." 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtjohxBmOQi
I can't help the laugh that bubbles up. I probably sound insane, but this night is all sorts of messed up. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZhVJE0H6G9
His face lights up and his dimples emerge. Crap. His smile turns my insides to jelly.657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ748KBqhxD9
"Come on, Katarina, give the poor little hamster a break. Tell me your thoughts." He gives me a reassuring smile. I'm not sure I like him using my full name, it makes my heart flutter.657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXsecysYFva
"I think..." I need a light topic. I just want to ignore my problems. "I think this has been the weirdest night."657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMsjXTOOXFP
He nods in agreement. "Weird good or weird bad?"657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQzKfbYHZgY
"Hah... Both?" I wince, knowing he's going to prod for more and I don't want to go any deeper.657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQbg8KNht6X
"I am going to have to agree with you." I was not expecting him to agree. "Although, I think yours had a bit more bad than mine." His hand caresses my cheek and I can't help but lean into his touch. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7prYEmh8h5
I am so weak. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoNQIWaYc5i
"Hmm..." His touch is relaxing and I feel the day catching up with me. The emotions and tears taking their toll on my body. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFEOP1jQ95p
"You falling asleep on me, Kitty Kat?" I can hear the smile in his voice, but I'm having trouble keeping my eyes open.657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjOw9e2RsZw
"I am not a cat." I say, as sternly as I can muster, but it comes out weak. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPl7C4Z3HSK
"Meow." He chuckles at his own joke.657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE8pFL7jbZD
"You are so not funny." I mumble.657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuJEFZFbpZY
"Oh come on. You're no fun." He tries to tease me, but he doesn't realize just how accurate he is. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhkDmmUAUBn
Maybe if I were more fun, things would be different. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡioUY5XB71N
"If only you knew..." I snuggle into his hard chest, hoping he won't ask anymore questions. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvxXizapxzv
I know I should leave, but I just can't bring myself to part with him. I'm sure he's filling some void and I'm being pathetic, but he hasn't thrown me out yet.657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtJAwJvVIqT
In fact, he pulls me tighter. Resting his face in my hair. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn7qwQpUBX0
"Don't worry, I will protect you." He whispers and as I drift off into oblivion, I actually believe him. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa2RhItNXHy
I awake to the sounds of muffled shouting. There is a heated argument somewhere nearby. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6dn8e9G0gQ
When I try to move, I bump something hard with my elbow and freeze. I hear a groan and feel the bed move slightly. I am not alone.657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOHPlJTtdpv
Oh no. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGLemESARhw
What did I do? 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0VdWu3hcKW
Scanning the room, I realize I have no idea where I am or who could be behind me.657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1HNOCyOAWW
Unless Vanessa is having a really rough morning, that was definitely too deep to be her voice.657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2IG9QbSEa1
Crap. I am too afraid to look, who could it be? Bits and pieces from the night come to me, but not enough to piece together anything solid.657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ412SlOebmk
I remember crying at some point.657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVJUkXO6O2L
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I remember drinking more than I should have.657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcuRVWJi4Ku
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I remember Vanessa being her usual self. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDBeEpTpozj
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkQEptTnSCa
I remember her new boy toy stuck to her side. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqV9tZ6oN5G
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsNMrKeVOGO
And I remember... Uh oh. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHjBlrWFZbR
It couldn't be... I wouldn't... Would I?657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbfQgpSNKCe
Am I really asking myself this after waking up next to some random guy? Well, maybe not so random...657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7YUPGAEmkB
Oh god, this is all sorts of complicated. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSHJxJnysX6
Okay, I just have to know... I try to roll over gently, without disturbing him. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZx3DOPwMww
I find a pair of amused green eyes staring back at me. A gorgeous grin with dimples on his stupid perfect face. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp3OKtgvIX4
Crap. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUygNAj0LQL
I know I'm blushing hard, I can literally feel my face burning. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF1uRMsTcbR
How did this happen?657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqvKI3APldh
"You done freaking out yet?" He asks with a chuckle. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDb4vKNfgQT
Is he... laughing at me? 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbbOHDlohHw
"Uh..." And just like that, he has short circuited the connection between my brain and mouth. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ9AzXET37q
"Don't panic." He talks softly, like I am some wild animal that might bite him.657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpqqme1Pyjk
I am totally panicking. I just can't decide if I want to run out of the room or stay and figure out what exactly happened. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIAy0L9o2V9
My curiosity wins, just barely. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIPKnzpL7m8
"Nothing happened." I must look really confused, because he feels the need to explain further. "We didn't have sex."657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1hclo9xBtG
"Oh..." I'm not sure if I should be relieved or hurt that he was naked laying next to me.657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ199INeT5Zi
Nope. Not letting my mind go there.657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT1xqunbMUZ
I choose to feel relief. I wouldn't have remembered it anyway. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMnrzTB2sJt
"Not for lack of you trying, of course." He flashes a cocky smirk at me. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMTfgICkuV7
I feel a frown tugging at the corners of my mouth, despite my attempt to keep my face neutral. No, I didn't throw myself at him, did I? 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSuNdbQSLsx
I vaguely remember waking up and thinking I heard my name through the wall and then... 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡohfNpnSLcN
"No way... I... Oh god!" My eyes pop open so wide, they begin to hurt.657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCBTgna64jd
Crap. Did I really climb on top of him? Yep, I was totally grinding on him.657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB8fK74O6Kr
I gasp, my gaze running down his body before I can stop myself. I take in his muscles, but his bottom half is covered in a sheet. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj4JqWcvUES
His eyes meet mine. "Reminiscing?" 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiCH085aK3d
"What! No!" My voice is too high and rushed to be convincing. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPlHcspp9p6
I remember licking his defined chest.657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoXpa35b8GW
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2SlJqJjdDw
I remember... 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ463Tsfa4Jt
he was naked!657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnxq7L3zG50
I inwardly groan. I totally touched him. I know how big he is and... 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡolNam59pZe
Oh god! I know how he tastes. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzWnVAL3kuR
"Shit." I know it's inelegant, but I can't think of anything else to say.657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWHE7Nxffge
His mouth pops open as his face twists in shock. "Did you just... I can't believe you just said shit!" 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh11r46V9CS
"What? Why not?" I sit up, feeling defensive. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡktAKGV71zB
Why is he so shocked? He barely knows me. Why does he assume this? Did I say something weird last night?657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDqRFTZQx7D
"You seemed kinda offended when I cussed, so I guess I just assumed..." He looks shy, almost like he was caught doing something wrong.657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1z6fl8hhYP
"Based on?" Sure, I don't make a habit of using curse words, but it's more an ingrained reflex than an actual choice. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡobLTCoAu1j
He hesitates, like he's afraid to say and I begin to feel slightly nervous. Crap, what did I say?657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsz8mgsevWY
"You... uh... kinda flinched." He blushes and looks around the room. Insecure Ben is totally adorable. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdW0T6JDLtD
"Oh." I'm honestly not sure how to respond because I definitely can't tell him the truth. "Well, I wasn't offended."657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyWZIqOJ0Wl
"Okay." He blows out a breath, looking up at the ceiling. "If you say so." 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQEae3LtmR
He looks completely unconvinced but I can't give him more than that. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZSQsadxBpV
"So." He clears his throat. "Not to be totally awkward here..." His gaze drops to the tent of his crotch before his eyes scan the floor. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ3Vkd3nIEW
"And not that I would mind laying in bed with you all day." He looks down my body and winks. "But, maybe we should get dressed?"657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBign5QDSAw
I look down at myself, just now realizing I'm sitting here in lacy underwear. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡixZGK8pYXY
When I don't respond, Ben flashes his smile. "Or not, I mean you look great." 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwkNdCmrQuk
I am unable to hide the look of shock on my face before I snatch the sheet to cover myself. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe7yAhUKuKa
Which is no longer covering "Little Ben", if you can even call it that.657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi03JTrmgC6
Oops.657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpoXit17aGC
Of course that would happen to me! I take a moment to look at it in the daylight and wow, it's like a sculpture. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡREQfcJgGhH
Unable to stop myself, I have apparently lost my filter completely around this man. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ZZiTHT99N
"Well hello, Big Ben." I try not to giggle like an immature school girl, but Ben's laugh makes me laugh harder. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRHfM4Sa6Bj
"Big Ben, huh?" He grins, making my stomach flutter. He shakes his head, amused. "What am I going to do with you?"657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmVYXnnUHYH
My mouth goes dry as my mind conjures up all kinds of things he could do to me. It feels like all the air was sucked out of the room as I struggle to control my breathing. Is it hot in here, or is it just me?657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbz7MlR3NV
My gaze returns to "Big Ben", as it seems to grow, straining to reach me. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSEA14ouin9
Prying my eyes away, I meet his green gaze. He's no longer grinning or teasing, in fact, it looks like he's in pain. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUyW4iM8a36
"So, you like what you see?" His eyes never leaving mine. I try to close my mouth and steady my breathing. I need to keep my composure, but my head nods without my approval. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTX0fI3mXQc
I lick my lips, remembering last night. I can't get my mouth to form words.657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBto1Z5jBYt
"Because I wouldn't mind seeing a little more." He reaches forward, tugging down the sheet. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPi1iQvKetv
He sucks in a breath. "Fuck, Kat."657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoWUJLmAWuw
I close my eyes, my insides turning to liquid fire. I love his cussing, like he can't control himself. Maybe it's because of my background and it makes him seem like such a bad boy, but it turns me on, like crazy.657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwrtqUA7TOu
He caresses my breasts through the sheer fabric. "God damn, you are beautiful." 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3mFCFpi8f
I absorb his words as another wave of lust hits me. I know this is a bad idea. I know we should not be doing this, but I'm not sure I could stop it, even if I wanted to. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbFcJZ4z8XH
His hands move down my body as his mouth meets mine. His kiss is hungry and desperate and I can't get enough. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUg8XBGEJpz
His hand grazes me where I'm aching and I nearly explode. I need him. Now. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQLYfQHmAX
"Do you have a condom?" He has to have one in here somewhere, right?657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM5b8i7Mdvb
He blushes and looks slightly uncomfortable. "Actually..." We both freeze as the sound of yelling grows closer. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBnOQbpBMyF
I pull the sheet up to cover myself just as the door bursts open. All I see Vanessa's fiery hair flying around as she takes the scene before her. "What the fucking fuck is fucking going on in here?" 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFt5LkiDNfx
I know her well enough to know when she can't think, she drops f-bombs. Her gaze drops to Ben's crotch, before he grabs a corner of the sheet to cover himself. 657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUoKruKzi5A
I can't help the laughter that bursts out of me at the sight of her craziness. "Calm yourself, Vanessa."
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