早该如此 - 番外—蓝莓篇

“你有什么想和你的主人说的话吗？”

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脑里突然响起了一道温和的声音，我歪头听了听，还是辨别不出对方是男还是女。

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我也不知道自己身在何处，脚下是一道发光的桥，我没走动，却感觉到自己正在缓缓往上升。

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我问，如果我说了，他们能听到吗？

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如果传达不了，我就不说了。

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我不想再难过了，更希望他们要赶快振作起来，不要再为我的离世伤心流泪了。

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“可以哟，你尽管说，你的主人会知道的。”那道声音似乎是笑着说的。

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我哼了一声。

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刚想开口说话，却发现发不了声，我又马上闭上嘴。

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我可不能哭。

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那个不露脸的怪人说了，我说的话会一字不漏地传达到他们的梦里。

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不能哭、不能哭。

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就像平时一样，装出一副漫不经心的样子。

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我是一只英国短毛猫，名叫蓝莓，原因是我从小就对蓝莓情有独钟，很爱吃蓝莓。

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对我而言，蓝莓比猫草更有吸引力。

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还有什么要说的呢......

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就这样吧。

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我记得很小很小的时候，我就被母亲遗弃了，她把我丢在后巷，带着其他哥哥姐姐离开了。

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我只能窝在脏兮兮的垃圾堆里，不让人类看见，因为他们会欺负我。

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比我大的流浪猫，也会欺负我。

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所以，我很讨厌他们，不喜欢人，也不喜欢猫。

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他们不喜欢我，我也不喜欢他们。

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直到我遇到一个小女孩，我才接受到世间的善意。

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每次来见我，她总是紧张兮兮的，拐进来后巷的时候都是缩着脖子，蹑手蹑脚的。

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她找来一个干净的箱子，我被放进去的时候，闻到一股香甜的味道，我很喜欢。

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我朝她叫了一声，以为她带了什么好吃的，却看见她手里捏着一包饼干，我尝了一口，不甜，干巴巴的，不好吃，但我还是一口气吃完了。

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吃完了，就得继续挨饿，撑到明天晚上。

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过了几天，我像往常一样坐在垃圾堆的角落，等待女孩的投喂。

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她出现了。

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但，这次她从反方向走过，没看向我，她怀里还抱着一只白净的英国短毛猫。

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她笑得很幸福。

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我有试着大声叫唤她，不过她没有听见。

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女孩没再来见我了。

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我也没必要呆在这个伤心之地了。

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我开始了我的流浪生活。虽然说我本就是只流浪猫，但至少在这之前我还有个归属。

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不知不觉就长大了一些，但还是会被欺负。

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没人教我遇到凶狠的成年猫时该怎么反击，没人在熊孩子对我抛石头时候将我护在身后。

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我好像长大了很多，又好像没有。

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我还是渴望被疼爱，还是像个小奶猫般弱小无能。

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在一个大冷天，我被予安捡回家了。

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我主动向他示好，恳求他给我一个家。

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他蹲下身看着我，表情很死板，我还以为又被人嫌弃了，顿时失望得低下头，身子一晃，箱子被人从地上捡起。

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我猛地仰头看向他的下巴，拼命喵喵叫。

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还好，还好我最终还是选择相信人类。

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予安的身体好像不太好，整日无精打采的，我就时不时打扰他，缠着他和我一起玩。

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我想让他快乐一点。

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我在他面前跑跑跳跳，他有在看，但脸上还是没有笑容。

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我知道的，人类会笑，他们开心的时候就会笑。

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那天，我误打误撞发现到记忆里那股香甜无比的味道居然是蓝莓的味道。

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我迫不及待伸舌头想尝一口，哪知道我还小，还不能吃。

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很突然的，我被人举在空中，眼前的人类笑了。

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他笑得很开心。

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我看走神了。

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我从来没想过，单单只是我的名字，就可以让他变得那么开心。

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蓝莓、蓝莓、蓝莓。

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嗯，我很喜欢我的名字。

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之后的事情，我也有点忘了，毕竟我也老了，已经老死了。

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总之，予安没有忘记我，他把我带到一个更大，更舒服的家。

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他为我组装的猫爬架，我很喜欢。

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所以，我在他的枕头下藏了一片鱼肉干。

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丢丢那只傻狗还问我，为什么要这样做。

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我只说他傻。

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可能我有些笨，我有时候会觉得予安很奇怪。

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他会对着空气发呆，喃喃自语，接近凌晨的时候他很容易莫名其妙就哭了。

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我凑近他，他似乎没发现我，总是被我吓到，呼吸声变得更重了，花了好久才缓过来。

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久而久之，我便不再靠近他，只蹲在角落默默观察。

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我睡不着。他不安，我也睡得不安心。

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我有次趁他和蓝慕亲热时，溜进厨房找吃的，扒拉扒拉了一会，没找到好吃的，我又跳上桌面，看到一排药瓶，我伸脖子闻了闻，而后就嫌弃地转身跳走。

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这是予安每天在吃的东西。味道一点也不好闻，这种东西怎么可能好吃，连蚂蚁都不想靠近。

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我又跑回我的饭盆前，留了一半的早饭给他。

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不久后，他走来问我，怎么没把饭吃完。

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我咬了下他的脚背，带着他去到饭盆前，叫了一声。

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“怎么啦，是丢丢舔过了所以你不吃吗？”他没听懂，只是温柔地摸着我的头，力度适中，我舒服地眯起眼。

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他忽然站起身，再回来时手里多了开封的金枪鱼猫条。

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笨蛋！

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真是个笨蛋！

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我实在是太气了，没忍住凶了他。

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半响，我愧疚地钻进他怀里讨摸，想让他不要在意，快点原谅我。

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他也只是笑笑，低头亲了我一口。

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一缕柔顺的长发滑落下来，轻轻扫过我的脸颊。

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有点痒。

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他见我偏过头，“啊”了一声，“蓝莓，你说我要不要把头发剪短呢？”

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看他认真考虑的表情，恐怕真的有这个打算。

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我轻蹭他的手背。

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没关系的，你绑起来就好。

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我监督丢丢不去咬你的发圈，你不用担心。

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时间过得好快，尤其是过得安稳的日子，十年好似一年。

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我总是忘了时间的存在，忘了生命会随着时间的流逝渐渐耗尽。

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阳光灿烂，我敞开肚子躺在地上享受日光浴，丢丢挨在我身边躺下。

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我鼻尖一颤，他的味道不太对劲。

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我赶紧站起身一探究竟。

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我体型小，还矮小，视野范围自然低矮很多。

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一抬眼，丢丢嘴边的白胡须一下子就被我收入眼底。

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看他无精打采的，心里就来气，我想跳到他的后背去挠他，但我跳了两下才成功。

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啊，我突然才意识到，我们都老了。

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丢丢撑了五天就离世了。

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房子里的空气都是苦涩的，仿佛是丢丢生前服用的药味。

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予安和蓝慕情绪很低落，没有崩溃大哭，他们哭得很安静，让我想起丢丢走时也是那么安静，没告诉任何人。

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我也不自觉融入他们的世界，安静地陪伴在他们身侧。

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“我好想出去玩。” 有天中午，丢丢和我抱怨道。

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我让他乖一点，治好病了就能出门散步了。

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他的眼睛张开了一些，眼眸泛着光泽，没好气地说：“我好很多了。”

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我好久没看见他提起精神的样子了。

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他说，我只有今天特别渴望出门，昨天不会这样，可能明天也不会了。

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我瞧了他一眼，没悟出什么这句话里深层的含义。

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懂了。丢丢，我懂你了。

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我孤零零地趴在窗前，凝望对面的风景，当时只觉得好想要触碰到蓝天，好想要伸手去碰浮在空中的白云，好想要踩在草地上。

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这种心情很新鲜，因为以前流浪的痛苦让我不再向往外面的世界。

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也正是因为如此，这个不寻常的感觉证实了我内心的猜测。

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我翻了个身，倒着看窗外的世界。

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一股骄傲在心底油然而生，我看到的世界和人类不一样，我活得比很多人、很多猫、很多狗轻松。

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真好啊。

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当个猫咪真好。

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能成为予安的猫真好。

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“蓝莓，过来。”

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我听见予安的叫唤，便转头看向他。

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他瘫在沙发上，目光不在我身上，他用手去挠蓝慕的下巴，笑得很皮。

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蓝慕轻咬了他的手指，看样子也很无奈。

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我们生活在一起很久了，我知道予安总爱这样逗他，他习惯了，我也习惯了。

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一团白云又往前飘了一些，我缓缓起身，慢吞吞地走向沙发，静静地窝在予安的脚边。

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我很幸运，是自然老死的，不受病痛折磨。

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还是很难过，还是很不舍。

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只是，留在世间的他们会比我更难过，更不舍。

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这是我给他们的最后一份悲伤了，等到这份悲伤随着时间淡化后，就不要再为我伤心了，好吗。

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“时辰已到，你可以托梦给你的主人了。”

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“你想好要说什么了吗？”

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由于我沉思了半天，还是毫无头绪，就和脑里的声音谈起我的人生故事。

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我已经在桥上的最高处，眼前直立着一扇门，下边的小门徐徐敞开，亮眼的白光扑面而来。

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我闻到青草的味道，还有其他属于大自然的味道。

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“想好了。”

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我迈开步子，走进白光里。

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予安，蓝慕，你们好，我是蓝莓。

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我想了好久，明明有那么话攒在心头，多得如一团杂乱的毛线，到了关键时刻却找不着线头。

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也罢，我也不想打扰你们太久。

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十三年的陪伴，已经足够了。

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谢谢你们。

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有缘再见。

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