晚安了,媽媽251Please respect copyright.PENANA355aVW389a
Good night, mom251Please respect copyright.PENANAzpIraPsGVZ
251Please respect copyright.PENANADQvFY8nlcN
さよなら251Please respect copyright.PENANAkHC0VJvU7X
再見了251Please respect copyright.PENANAXvygKvUWFE
Goodbye251Please respect copyright.PENANA2CjobZTpp3
251Please respect copyright.PENANAbRVSE9qdfN
251Please respect copyright.PENANA1uXlT0HjjX
251Please respect copyright.PENANAGzVWI0vhZa
在最接近平安也是最接近瘋狂的器官
裏頭住了一隻蠻不講理的怪物
流著冰冷的血
它正是和理性作對的想法
「反正結果不會改變」
我在打一場毫無勝算的仗
而這個對手日益壯大的同時
堅持下去的決心也在漸漸消逝
理所當然地
反抗著的愚者總有一天會被之殺死吧
251Please respect copyright.PENANAoUJNMV1LNz
不再期望與作夢的原因是什麼時候忘記的呢
「沒有了生存意義的話
我還是我嗎」
如此類推的自我質疑在心中多不勝數
只是質疑若能得到解答
我也不需要淪落到這等瘋狂
這是一道不可能解答的問題
因為自相矛盾
是矛和盾的偽命題
雖則如此
消極的心底話
自我厭惡轉化而成的自我質疑
的確可以逆轉回去
彷如化學作用的原理
而在沉思的環境下
一靜下來
當情緒沉澱下來
一切也會變得清晰
源於森林的聲音
它們在說什麼
它們的每一言每一語
「這全都是你的錯」
「這全都是我的錯」
其實不難發現
自己為什麼一直在為難自己
瘋了
我早已瘋了
我的思維早已被創傷侵佔
我無法分辨什麼選擇能夠拯救自己
抑或是兩者之間有什麼分別
黑和白
生和死
正義不正義
反正是一樣
結果會是一樣
反正無論怎選擇
結局也只會有一個
我這樣想法奇怪嗎
還是說這樣子想才正常
才合乎理論
畢竟命運和自由只有一者可以存在
而我確實是瘋了
記得那時
在我還沒有瘋掉的時候
簡單不過的日子
在我還未擁抱無知的時候
我曾經幸福過
然後那天來了
連冬天和夏天也判斷不到
究竟錯的是我
還是錯在這個夏天會下雪的世界
我會說大概是太寒冷的問題
記得
曾經有一個為我不惜一切的人
她是這麼溫柔這麼堅強
是這麼溫暖
她的笑容
她的懷抱在記憶中如此深刻
只是醒來後身體有點僵冷了251Please respect copyright.PENANAfpazHIDt9P
251Please respect copyright.PENANAikDZC99nrE
ns216.73.216.8da2 251Please respect copyright.PENANAikDZC99nrE
Within the flesh which lies on the long bed, which dips toward the shadow of chaos and peace was absent from251Please respect copyright.PENANAQ50Pb6l1JQ
There was a raging monster that knows nothing but the word "cruel" with all its vile heart251Please respect copyright.PENANA47zqPm3Wcg
The cold-blooded beasts was the vicious voice that killed my rational self251Please respect copyright.PENANAWvDqzOIZsZ
Keep yelling to me, "Nothing will change despite your pain"251Please respect copyright.PENANAI0FuzrgWJW
It is a losing battle that I must fight, yet the nightmare of that day always frightens me251Please respect copyright.PENANA0bnDyq2ggN
Acknowledging that one day I will eventually succumb to the madness breed inside me251Please respect copyright.PENANAo01OTzdxdt
As this dreamland is only fertile for necrotic thoughts but not dandelions of hopes251Please respect copyright.PENANA41O6Rx1BGq
One day, I will be killed by myself
251Please respect copyright.PENANAU758IkoSacThere was a raging monster that knows nothing but the word "cruel" with all its vile heart251Please respect copyright.PENANA47zqPm3Wcg
The cold-blooded beasts was the vicious voice that killed my rational self251Please respect copyright.PENANAWvDqzOIZsZ
Keep yelling to me, "Nothing will change despite your pain"251Please respect copyright.PENANAI0FuzrgWJW
It is a losing battle that I must fight, yet the nightmare of that day always frightens me251Please respect copyright.PENANA0bnDyq2ggN
Acknowledging that one day I will eventually succumb to the madness breed inside me251Please respect copyright.PENANAo01OTzdxdt
As this dreamland is only fertile for necrotic thoughts but not dandelions of hopes251Please respect copyright.PENANA41O6Rx1BGq
One day, I will be killed by myself
When did I forgot to remember to forget ?251Please respect copyright.PENANAz4cuE9eucc
Forget to reason with myself to never dream again, never wish again251Please respect copyright.PENANA3zQ0AzsbhR
Yet, the true question which kept me away from the wonderland was never answered251Please respect copyright.PENANA5mErfx8a23
"Does one who loses their purpose to live on, count as losing themselves as well?"251Please respect copyright.PENANAcD12PTsles
Meaningless questions such as these exists only to fill the empty space of my mind251Please respect copyright.PENANAod3AnCPaYE
Stuffed my brain to avoid giving room for insanity to take root 251Please respect copyright.PENANASLw7C7eehM
However, if I really wanted to251Please respect copyright.PENANARUQGWlkcXQ
I can answer those ramblings251Please respect copyright.PENANAoKzS0OBYCH
As easy as conducting an experiment251Please respect copyright.PENANAf2VP5aht0Q
Reminding myself of chemical reaction can be reversible251Please respect copyright.PENANAp2JvychabQ
My self-hatred can be reversed back to self-questioning251Please respect copyright.PENANAQF2nopGrB4
I can listen to the sound of truth, echoing from the depths of the forest
251Please respect copyright.PENANAUl3fyQaB26Forget to reason with myself to never dream again, never wish again251Please respect copyright.PENANA3zQ0AzsbhR
Yet, the true question which kept me away from the wonderland was never answered251Please respect copyright.PENANA5mErfx8a23
"Does one who loses their purpose to live on, count as losing themselves as well?"251Please respect copyright.PENANAcD12PTsles
Meaningless questions such as these exists only to fill the empty space of my mind251Please respect copyright.PENANAod3AnCPaYE
Stuffed my brain to avoid giving room for insanity to take root 251Please respect copyright.PENANASLw7C7eehM
However, if I really wanted to251Please respect copyright.PENANARUQGWlkcXQ
I can answer those ramblings251Please respect copyright.PENANAoKzS0OBYCH
As easy as conducting an experiment251Please respect copyright.PENANAf2VP5aht0Q
Reminding myself of chemical reaction can be reversible251Please respect copyright.PENANAp2JvychabQ
My self-hatred can be reversed back to self-questioning251Please respect copyright.PENANAQF2nopGrB4
I can listen to the sound of truth, echoing from the depths of the forest
"This is all your fault"251Please respect copyright.PENANAApqxbr289S
"This is all my fault"251Please respect copyright.PENANAI3mzeVDMt8
The results was always there, which I just swept it under the bed251Please respect copyright.PENANAy6nwaMgipA
I have already gone crazy and mad251Please respect copyright.PENANARoBgrw1frq
As trauma devoured my sanity and heart, the pain was so unbearable I lied to myself251Please respect copyright.PENANANPl7T526ND
"It is alright"251Please respect copyright.PENANArHpyt7Uclg
And it became alright for me251Please respect copyright.PENANAU7Ouy2m6Qz
With the cost of the ability to tell what is right or wrong, to decide what is justice and sins, to see what is the difference between me and them251Please respect copyright.PENANAsjfUEVjAof
My says in choices were all it takes to continue on this lonesome path251Please respect copyright.PENANAsiZceGPiVn
Though, does it matter anymore ?251Please respect copyright.PENANAbS1hphLro3
If the past, the present, and the future was already well decided back then ?251Please respect copyright.PENANAwYpHbm3U4t
As my author said, I could not live happily ever after251Please respect copyright.PENANAQ2nZmAvelQ
251Please respect copyright.PENANAComQtQ3FDS
Am I the weird one here? 251Please respect copyright.PENANA2708KxPE6w
Please tell me, or is it just the voice inside my head trying to play tricks on me251Please respect copyright.PENANAHpD3CHZ5d8
Am I the wrong one here?251Please respect copyright.PENANARmt59pU2cc
Thinking that "Freedom" and "Fate" are not things that can coexist251Please respect copyright.PENANAfJgU5jKxQ9
Please help me, since nothing I can do can bring my senses back251Please respect copyright.PENANAUut8XvYo6W
I have already lost it all
251Please respect copyright.PENANAne8oXpZ6Jo"This is all my fault"251Please respect copyright.PENANAI3mzeVDMt8
The results was always there, which I just swept it under the bed251Please respect copyright.PENANAy6nwaMgipA
I have already gone crazy and mad251Please respect copyright.PENANARoBgrw1frq
As trauma devoured my sanity and heart, the pain was so unbearable I lied to myself251Please respect copyright.PENANANPl7T526ND
"It is alright"251Please respect copyright.PENANArHpyt7Uclg
And it became alright for me251Please respect copyright.PENANAU7Ouy2m6Qz
With the cost of the ability to tell what is right or wrong, to decide what is justice and sins, to see what is the difference between me and them251Please respect copyright.PENANAsjfUEVjAof
My says in choices were all it takes to continue on this lonesome path251Please respect copyright.PENANAsiZceGPiVn
Though, does it matter anymore ?251Please respect copyright.PENANAbS1hphLro3
If the past, the present, and the future was already well decided back then ?251Please respect copyright.PENANAwYpHbm3U4t
As my author said, I could not live happily ever after251Please respect copyright.PENANAQ2nZmAvelQ
251Please respect copyright.PENANAComQtQ3FDS
Am I the weird one here? 251Please respect copyright.PENANA2708KxPE6w
Please tell me, or is it just the voice inside my head trying to play tricks on me251Please respect copyright.PENANAHpD3CHZ5d8
Am I the wrong one here?251Please respect copyright.PENANARmt59pU2cc
Thinking that "Freedom" and "Fate" are not things that can coexist251Please respect copyright.PENANAfJgU5jKxQ9
Please help me, since nothing I can do can bring my senses back251Please respect copyright.PENANAUut8XvYo6W
I have already lost it all
Still, the cloudy memory tells me the same story every night251Please respect copyright.PENANAMQ3f5XtkbU
A fairy tale set long before the time I had gone mad251Please respect copyright.PENANAdhtbkNlT6W
Days without worry and doubts251Please respect copyright.PENANAzeU2vvhoqX
Times that are as pure as crystal clear251Please respect copyright.PENANA49plnsMPPz
I was happy before251Please respect copyright.PENANABevzSEr0lS
And on that day, when the light went off251Please respect copyright.PENANAxMcuAs9pGI
And when you cannot tell whether it is summer or winter251Please respect copyright.PENANArzjoEdF9Rw
In that ridiculous world, where it snows in summer251Please respect copyright.PENANAUIXpd4l0FE
I forgot whose fault it was for me to lose everything251Please respect copyright.PENANABl9PGIHgYZ
Thus I guess I will just foolishly blame the terrible weather then251Please respect copyright.PENANA5rBhGq2xKS
There was someone who love me251Please respect copyright.PENANAulOl1zuF0P
Taught me unconditional love251Please respect copyright.PENANACN5VfJVCyx
She was strong, kind and lovely
A fairy tale set long before the time I had gone mad251Please respect copyright.PENANAdhtbkNlT6W
Days without worry and doubts251Please respect copyright.PENANAzeU2vvhoqX
Times that are as pure as crystal clear251Please respect copyright.PENANA49plnsMPPz
I was happy before251Please respect copyright.PENANABevzSEr0lS
And on that day, when the light went off251Please respect copyright.PENANAxMcuAs9pGI
And when you cannot tell whether it is summer or winter251Please respect copyright.PENANArzjoEdF9Rw
In that ridiculous world, where it snows in summer251Please respect copyright.PENANAUIXpd4l0FE
I forgot whose fault it was for me to lose everything251Please respect copyright.PENANABl9PGIHgYZ
Thus I guess I will just foolishly blame the terrible weather then251Please respect copyright.PENANA5rBhGq2xKS
There was someone who love me251Please respect copyright.PENANAulOl1zuF0P
Taught me unconditional love251Please respect copyright.PENANACN5VfJVCyx
She was strong, kind and lovely
And her smile was warm like the sun251Please respect copyright.PENANAW99HG8X6ak
I wished to wake up in her embrace every morning
I wished to wake up in her embrace every morning
251Please respect copyright.PENANAIU0P8CMLUP
Yet her hands were cold that morning251Please respect copyright.PENANANwpWnemEpz