十一、54Please respect copyright.PENANAUPIK5FvGv1
54Please respect copyright.PENANAlsujlwn70e
54Please respect copyright.PENANAwfbWpWjWD0
54Please respect copyright.PENANApVC9Z5TCrY
54Please respect copyright.PENANAg1DIx9I2zn
54Please respect copyright.PENANALgI2tof1H7
──人心總是不足,我也不例外。54Please respect copyright.PENANAFFb9ezrx49
54Please respect copyright.PENANAw7f7NoeD97
言曇岫說過的話,宛如拍打上湖畔的漣漪,一陣陣不歇。54Please respect copyright.PENANAyXxvAUCEAD
54Please respect copyright.PENANArRv3GR5pSV
黎絳洵只覺得眼睛酸澀,水氣氤氳上了眼,他卻仍捨不得閉眼,想看著言曇岫更長的時間。54Please respect copyright.PENANAsPcTBIUSBn
54Please respect copyright.PENANAanZuTOO8el
偏偏是現在。54Please respect copyright.PENANAAZjPxGb6SA
54Please respect copyright.PENANA3lFof0RZ2N
果真報應。54Please respect copyright.PENANAy47FJtbuIG
54Please respect copyright.PENANAvLNPiwznrB
「你,希望我離開嗎?」54Please respect copyright.PENANAfGazoB5tc1
54Please respect copyright.PENANAQBS37C0n3d
「你先前一直,一直去花街,應該也是有了、喜歡的姑娘,你不用再顧慮,很多事情,我的事情也好……我不攔你。」54Please respect copyright.PENANA6JRT88isTv
54Please respect copyright.PENANAKoVp0iadm8
「絳洵?」54Please respect copyright.PENANAs5kJqTQTBf
54Please respect copyright.PENANAMN5mB0EB4n
黎絳洵用力按住言曇岫的肩膀,不讓他回頭,「別看我。」54Please respect copyright.PENANA41NgVZMjoH
54Please respect copyright.PENANAUdi6EJ1w7A
「你還好嗎?」54Please respect copyright.PENANArOeSF9gC7H
54Please respect copyright.PENANA8rK4p74kau
黎絳洵低頭任額心貼著言曇岫後頸,「我只是靠一下。」54Please respect copyright.PENANAEvAQHUzzux
54Please respect copyright.PENANAx0BbszyrLl
言曇岫遲疑地問:「你在哭嗎?從剛才開始,你的聲音和手一直都在抖。」54Please respect copyright.PENANAMRMIr35DqU
54Please respect copyright.PENANA43EUQJJemt
黎絳洵一閉上眼,妻子的聲音與容貌和言曇岫的疊在一起,分不出區別。54Please respect copyright.PENANAqr2SnUv4Ag
54Please respect copyright.PENANAPCo2BGcPWE
前世那次,妻子似乎是聽了太多次旁人問起久未有孕的事情,夜裡,妻子低頭靠在他背上,悶聲道歉,黎絳洵說什麼都安慰不了她,那時他們都已知道,成親不是蓋一塊紅布在新娘子頭上就算禮成,孩子也不是時候到了就自然會有的。54Please respect copyright.PENANAHeYV2lNpYy
54Please respect copyright.PENANAMqm5pk1eje
雖然不是真的清心寡慾到完全不為所動,黎絳洵也不覺得有任何逼妻子的必要,只能在最後說:「你不用勉強自己,即便爹娘仍在世,他們也不會逼你,和孩子相比,我更想要你在我身邊,很久、很久……妊娠要受很多苦,生產更是生死關,我捨不得你。」54Please respect copyright.PENANAKJmWApB9YM
54Please respect copyright.PENANAy0Sx9ZsOWL
身後的妻子不知為何,忽然提起了這件事:「我背部靠近腰的位置,有一塊胎記,附近應該有一個像是言家家徽的疤。小時候,我偷拿了家主的印信玩,把印信過了火,從此留了疤痕。」54Please respect copyright.PENANAemJIYyG8aj
54Please respect copyright.PENANAJr29cHnmzE
「還痛嗎?」54Please respect copyright.PENANAStvhs27ySe
54Please respect copyright.PENANAY9gC6nAu0Z
妻子搖頭說:「要是我騙了你,你仍會捨不得我嗎?」54Please respect copyright.PENANAkXc8cWwSww
54Please respect copyright.PENANAf5CWD2Rhho
黎絳洵伸手將妻子的雙臂攬在自己腰上回答:「要是我身上還有什麼你想要的,讓你必須騙我……那就一輩子都不要說破,因為除去替爹娘平反的事情以外,如今這世上,我想要的只有你。」54Please respect copyright.PENANAbh0vZXy0dn
54Please respect copyright.PENANAjGtVuh4QrI
──原來是這樣啊。54Please respect copyright.PENANAmoyNnI9ZpO
54Please respect copyright.PENANAzIbrVYNXqM
答案曾經離自己那麼近,他卻沒有多想,甚至因為忽略了重要性,一直都沒有想起來。54Please respect copyright.PENANAhJ6skD6LzK
54Please respect copyright.PENANAtlcyUaWc5H
──黎絳洵,你眼中到底剩下什麼?54Please respect copyright.PENANABkWXiCjw9M
54Please respect copyright.PENANAely2u4HPo3
「對不起、對不起……」54Please respect copyright.PENANAxQZwAIA819
54Please respect copyright.PENANAAtuvS6mW5x
言曇岫閉了閉眼睛,拉開黎絳洵的手,並將逐漸無法支撐自己的黎絳洵拉到床邊,儘管已經伸出手,仍是在碰到黎絳洵的肩膀以前,收回來了,言曇岫將仍舊用頭撞著他的貓抱起來,放在黎絳洵大腿上,重新穿好衣服後,便推門出去了。54Please respect copyright.PENANAtf1UE7G7qf
54Please respect copyright.PENANAGmnBJws6Td
明明就在自己眼前,他卻忽略了所有提示,只顧著讓自己不要把兩人混為一談。54Please respect copyright.PENANAN24IGi9Xaw
54Please respect copyright.PENANA7BfLOxJjqC
妻子無可取代,言曇岫也不是任何人的替代品。54Please respect copyright.PENANA5Z0mzrnaU3
54Please respect copyright.PENANAgKlF9BO0j4
就是因為這樣想,所以無論如何都無法回應言曇岫,即便早就知道,自己不是完全沒有動心,可是一顆心怎麼可以裝兩個人?若然搖擺不定,取捨、偏重,只會讓所有人都受傷,不如讓言曇岫自己平復,只要他們不再相見,就有機會、至少讓言曇岫不被一生相思痛苦灼燒。54Please respect copyright.PENANA2qZwxbPSma
54Please respect copyright.PENANAMAyDhXN40f
是他無法全然捨下,仍舊在意言曇岫的蹤跡,因此才會在已經來不及的情況下察覺真相。54Please respect copyright.PENANAJyeNt1JDAv
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──原就是我貪求。54Please respect copyright.PENANAGfzTb1gClx
54Please respect copyright.PENANAmcAYUN4go7
黎絳洵摟緊不斷掙扎的貓。54Please respect copyright.PENANAv2cuhWOQJT
54Please respect copyright.PENANAOTKXTLbRj8
這樣的命數,或許就是他自找的代價。54Please respect copyright.PENANAi9cM7phrrz
54Please respect copyright.PENANAl24RhfMhGX
無論兩情相悅何其難得,是他辜負。54Please respect copyright.PENANABFjm0HFbRw
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冷風吹開了門板,黎絳洵鬆手讓貓離開。54Please respect copyright.PENANASAGVCSV4dW
54Please respect copyright.PENANAvpNtjK9ONp
唯有一味暖香越發濃烈,直到視線裡出現了站在自己面前的人,黎絳洵才抬頭,言曇岫皺著眉將手中捧的香爐放在床頭。54Please respect copyright.PENANAqxoS0UxaC1
54Please respect copyright.PENANA73PKvUHzy2
「是我忽略了,因為很多事情擠在一起,沒來得及問你是不是受傷了。香料是我平常睡前用的,可以安神,你先等等,我去請大夫。」言曇岫始終沒敢看黎絳洵,因為他不覺得自己能做好,自然也沒有察覺黎絳洵一直凝視著他。54Please respect copyright.PENANAaBjdRfKHWy
54Please respect copyright.PENANATveMsSLs06
言曇岫正要離開,黎絳洵卻摟住他的腰,他走不了,也說不動黎絳洵放手,思索對策時,沒留意到黎絳洵雙手緩慢移動著,直到將言曇岫上半身攏近。54Please respect copyright.PENANAQWxDqGvmQq
54Please respect copyright.PENANAYG2tHdLwwL
被碰到唇角時,言曇岫頓了一下,才望向黎絳洵,黎絳洵順勢將雙脣完全貼在言曇岫唇上。54Please respect copyright.PENANANLCmjEjzvZ
54Please respect copyright.PENANATBw7NeE4xD
──什麼?54Please respect copyright.PENANANlwy9ceB5F
54Please respect copyright.PENANAxFlHFxMixL
言曇岫能感受到自己的嘴唇正在被摩娑、輕咬、舔拭,彷彿雨落在身上的力道,逐漸加重的癢,顫成了陣陣的麻。54Please respect copyright.PENANAKRra0tezdf
54Please respect copyright.PENANAm9gHFQ5IUq
被頂開的口中,柔軟的舌頭滑過了屬於自己的濕熱,分明觸碰的地方不多,言曇岫卻感覺全身都微微發麻,比普通的搔癢還細緻,密密麻麻地爬過每一寸肌理,似乎不被黎絳洵的體溫撫摸,便無法緩解。54Please respect copyright.PENANAm8VatqIRJt
54Please respect copyright.PENANAIYqUrVyiBp
由於過於渴望,當黎絳洵想退開時,言曇岫反而伸手按住他的後腦杓,含住黎絳洵的嘴唇輕咬,黎絳洵繃直的腰逐漸軟下來,很快被言曇岫的手撐住。54Please respect copyright.PENANAJN0BbdOb9f
54Please respect copyright.PENANAZCUP6XcPeS
──這種熟悉的感覺,原以為不會再經歷。如同被黎絳洵找到的那一瞬,如同第一次被他渴求擁抱,又彷彿更多。54Please respect copyright.PENANAoMSijxWMBU
54Please respect copyright.PENANATuB51h0Y8Q
壓抑過的慾望散開成無邊無際,即便海天相連,也鎖不回被打開的心,胸口暖而微微脹痛,奇異地並不讓人難受,言曇岫初次對痛楚不感排斥,陌生的情感順著他們相連的唇舌綻放成煙花。54Please respect copyright.PENANAIIGvGfyM5j
54Please respect copyright.PENANAJbtM6cZgEm
若不是黎絳洵難以承受地開始推拒,言曇岫幾乎以為永不會停下的親吻,會讓自己窒息。54Please respect copyright.PENANAvg77gZj2BN
54Please respect copyright.PENANAKJDDtSzT8w
才剛溢出來的滿足感,很快反噬成深濃的渴求。54Please respect copyright.PENANAUbqdamYFyn
54Please respect copyright.PENANA9uSNtWwKyM
原來自己對黎絳洵的慾望這樣深切,令人發毛。54Please respect copyright.PENANA0VatWzVhnk
54Please respect copyright.PENANASBD1nUcz4w
言曇岫朝門口看,始終無法望回黎絳洵,而黎絳洵一察覺他想離開,即便還未能停止喘息,黎絳洵仍舊輕扯著言曇岫的手腕,低頭將額頭靠上言曇岫的手背。54Please respect copyright.PENANA8j8idsaZCp
54Please respect copyright.PENANAGf5qQqCHfS
「對不起,你能不能,再留一下子?我知道是我食言,可是……我原來還沒準備好。」54Please respect copyright.PENANArJjHXSRE4G
54Please respect copyright.PENANATAq3oDsjSj
言曇岫憋著氣,好不容易才呼出來,一度遲疑,仍是將手放在黎絳洵的頭上。54Please respect copyright.PENANAdA0RBAecsE
54Please respect copyright.PENANAlcWNCqYkTD
「不管怎麼樣,你先休息,其他事情等你好起來再說。畢竟你現在這樣說,我不太……我怕我誤會你的意思,我等你慢慢說,那之前,我不走,好嗎?」54Please respect copyright.PENANAyTmMwMdgab
54Please respect copyright.PENANApTUOefICq8
也不曉得黎絳洵聽明白沒有,言曇岫只能先引著沉默的黎絳洵在床上躺好,伸手掩住黎絳洵眼上。54Please respect copyright.PENANAx4JWbm3Yph
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他維持著同一個姿勢許久,才終於鬆手。54Please respect copyright.PENANAUKnnPKE1F0
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自己並沒有看起來這般有餘裕。54Please respect copyright.PENANAAypjcC9Noo
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很多的問題混在一起,都需要黎絳洵才能解答。54Please respect copyright.PENANALicu7YVzG3
54Please respect copyright.PENANAWZkAUcaeMT
以前從未奢望過成為對黎絳洵而言特別的那個,最開始是因為有言曇橋的婚約,後來是那些畫上的女子,還有綉綉,他沒問過黎絳洵關於這些人的事情,如果是旁人,言曇岫只會以為是男子花心薄倖,可是黎絳洵,他的愛很少,要分給那麼多人,本就有違黎絳洵的疏離感,更何況,言曇岫這些年根本不曾見過黎絳洵跟任何女子親近過。54Please respect copyright.PENANA4KM1IM1et8
54Please respect copyright.PENANAJAL2aucYNy
現在會是單純把自己當成誰的替身嗎?54Please respect copyright.PENANACaXPOFdLdt
54Please respect copyright.PENANAIMpxLPA88F
曾以為已經好好壓抑下來的情潮洶湧,在黎絳洵親密的話語以及纏綿的吻中,餵養慾望的深壑,膨脹的虛妄時不時就從表皮的裂縫裡逸散出來。54Please respect copyright.PENANAdf1ztjYGGn
54Please respect copyright.PENANARMWvY9qHEb
痛與慾念共生,拉扯著碰與不碰,看似堅固的表殼,在黎絳洵那裡,不比蛋殼堅實。54Please respect copyright.PENANA8lFBPaLJ0v
54Please respect copyright.PENANA9JJD0AIrIf
言曇岫不信兩情相悅的錯覺,黎絳洵必然不是在回應他的情感,那個吻的意思,和自己吻他的狀況必然不同。54Please respect copyright.PENANAelO99Shyxe
54Please respect copyright.PENANAwT3d4rFIPp
可是那樣強烈的渴求……他從來沒有被任何人需要過,很多人的人生會因為少了自己而更好,於是陌生的索要令他棄守淪陷,再難築起城牆。54Please respect copyright.PENANA4sDQUP5MHc
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之後會如何呢?54Please respect copyright.PENANAo29ggA2Vcl
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他與黎絳洵,會成為什麼樣的關係?54Please respect copyright.PENANAHWYJ70ZGor
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如果是成了他人的替身,當本人出現時,自己又該怎麼做?54Please respect copyright.PENANAOWLca4NoWc
54Please respect copyright.PENANAdiNrFpxTtJ
人心總是不足,幾分顏色便可開成染坊,言曇岫不是不想要黎絳洵,而是要不起,貪心是饕餮,吞天噬地,一旦有了盼頭,只有越來越深切的想要,沒有上限。54Please respect copyright.PENANAJR6QdvcqpY
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要是,黎絳洵要他留下,他自然不會離開。54Please respect copyright.PENANA7HOaUgx9Py
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可是被那樣吻過以後,他已經無法肯定自己能不能持守住不傷害黎絳洵的底線。54Please respect copyright.PENANAA1wddkOkKj
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言曇岫不曉得自己能問誰。54Please respect copyright.PENANATMdkUugTB3
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可能沒有人能給他解答。54Please respect copyright.PENANAFNToNXg2EQ
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他既已向上蒼祈願黎絳洵得到他所想要的一切,他便不能再求神給他答案。54Please respect copyright.PENANAeJUXgiEdn1
54Please respect copyright.PENANAZwJwW0Knp8
過多的願望,願力會降低,也會讓自己越想越不知足。54Please respect copyright.PENANAFYOieDTzeT
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言曇岫想起年幼時,生母總和他說福禍相倚,可是等到理解這句話的意思時,他已經知道這些都是騙人的俚語,甚至會想,會不會是讓無法獲得貴族庇蔭的人認分,安於被奴役或者不公的現實,才向人們宣揚知足的觀念。54Please respect copyright.PENANAhDl22aVB7C
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從來就沒有好壞同量的人生。54Please respect copyright.PENANACSERHkO1qp
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有的人,從出生就註定要不幸,比如生母,比如自己。54Please respect copyright.PENANAdvjjIhTRWJ
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有的人想爭,成敗論英雄,成功是天命所歸,失敗是亂臣賊子,被攪得一團亂的平頭百姓,命如螻蟻,都是為上位者鋪墊富麗堂皇的階梯。54Please respect copyright.PENANAspobUPYity
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皇子奪嫡那段日子,即便無官位累贅,只要不離皇城太遠,都逃不過被捲入的命數。54Please respect copyright.PENANA2s4irWiM0I
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黎絳洵常說,他是個薄情的人,他只想守著重要的人,其他一概不論。54Please respect copyright.PENANASEr7cSfKQc
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儘管不曾提及,實際上言曇岫卻覺得,也許是黎絳洵這樣的人,才能有餘裕為普通人做事,才能活到最後。54Please respect copyright.PENANAREAKajHZah
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這樣的黎絳洵,臨時反悔說沒有準備好面對分離,想必也只是有不能明說的苦衷而已。54Please respect copyright.PENANAGDYjc4E30z
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