十、52Please respect copyright.PENANASyBM5V4mfe
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開春後,街市逐漸恢復了以往的車水馬龍,轂轆隨著馬蹄,混出馬車特有的聲響,最終停在黎家門前。52Please respect copyright.PENANANHX5B3iZu9
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等待已久的黎絳洵上前將車中的父母扶下車。52Please respect copyright.PENANA5CFhO1bIms
52Please respect copyright.PENANAtecQ6xqPHt
自那日以後未曾再與黎絳洵說過話的言曇岫早已張羅好洗塵宴,餐桌上母親說著旅途中的見聞,言曇岫配合著母親誇張的說詞,即便只有他們兩人在對話,仍是歡聲笑語不絕。52Please respect copyright.PENANAUXUiaqdUAs
52Please respect copyright.PENANA1Adqnaa5vT
「不過,洵兒都沒說話,是不是有什麼事情想說啊?」母親關切地探問著。52Please respect copyright.PENANAftEVMN9F46
52Please respect copyright.PENANAelaPQkvqPA
黎絳洵闔上書,一個眨眼過後,他才說:「娘,我想明……」52Please respect copyright.PENANAMcoIs3Ic9G
52Please respect copyright.PENANAhcqoPPBoVD
言曇岫忽然一陣咳嗽,甚至手肘碰掉了杯盞,破碎的聲音淹在茶湯裡。52Please respect copyright.PENANAYXUI6G2Q69
52Please respect copyright.PENANAYfwWsG1OEh
「是不是染上風寒了?最近乍暖還寒,要是病了,你也別勉強,要請大夫來看啊。」52Please respect copyright.PENANAQMI0iax0Bl
52Please respect copyright.PENANACVPQISqjdh
「謝謝夫人。」言曇岫摀著嘴點頭,剛離開椅子,黎絳洵便走過來,拉住他的手腕,不讓他蹲下。52Please respect copyright.PENANAVPsL5GKaob
52Please respect copyright.PENANAjs1IY0NfDq
言曇岫維持著原本的動作,黎絳洵換上笑臉後說:「娘,我想先送曇岫回房好了,你也知道,他沒人盯著的話,根本不會好好休息。」52Please respect copyright.PENANARQ4nIrq5s7
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得到母親首肯後,黎絳洵扣著言曇岫的手腕,邁出門檻,沒多久就走到了燈火無法照亮的陰影中,言曇岫停下後冷冷說:「可以了,鬆手。」52Please respect copyright.PENANArNfurB4XUd
52Please respect copyright.PENANAPIJRBh7rx1
「你……」52Please respect copyright.PENANA4cMeOhzsEu
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言曇岫定了定神,而黎絳洵只是放開手,卻沒有回頭的打算。52Please respect copyright.PENANAlAeNgRJY8l
52Please respect copyright.PENANAp0B9X4UMlb
呼吸在驟冷的空氣裡變得吃力,且刺耳。52Please respect copyright.PENANAsHbuwak1bB
52Please respect copyright.PENANALlDYbqn96k
言曇岫盡可能讓自己完全面無表情,「我明明跟你說過了,不要做讓你會後悔的事。即便你真的放心讓我照顧父母,你又打算怎麼向他們解釋?無論你用什麼理由,他們都不會信你會在父母在的情況下出門太長的時間。」52Please respect copyright.PENANANTgp8uByb8
52Please respect copyright.PENANAo0aeiQHcHu
「但我還是要走。」黎絳洵微微側頭,即便眼角餘光、也瞥不見言曇岫衣角。52Please respect copyright.PENANAd5mQ3KMX9V
52Please respect copyright.PENANA36QfqDzetg
言曇岫忍著胸口不適,強迫自己說:「你要為了這件事情,擔不孝罵名嗎?原就是沒有必要的事,何況你根本不擅長瞞你父母。」52Please respect copyright.PENANAvGKM09Nr5T
52Please respect copyright.PENANAc1OA96B6CX
黎絳洵收回原本就什麼也看不見的目光,「你不明白……」52Please respect copyright.PENANA7PFkl9eD9R
52Please respect copyright.PENANAVwB3N64ufl
言曇岫打斷他,質問道:「你覺得我不明白什麼?你分明最清楚,你遠行的理由,無論是避開我,或者尋人,都不能真正解決問題。」52Please respect copyright.PENANAfmXyJu9awT
52Please respect copyright.PENANADx6E5vCUkq
黎絳洵的聲音像從喉頭硬生生壓出來一樣:「你知道那無法說服我。」52Please respect copyright.PENANAs7SPaxvHIK
52Please respect copyright.PENANAGptTlNLqEw
「就如同我看得出你說謊時的小動作,你的父母,真的看不出來嗎?」言曇岫伸手扯住黎絳洵的袖子,苦澀道:「算我求你,別離開,我不會再踰矩。你不是想知道我許了什麼願望嗎?我只求上天讓你得償所願。絳洵哥哥,別離開。」52Please respect copyright.PENANAYIFyhF0bhg
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黎絳洵沉默了很久,才說:「那樣做,你會很痛苦。」52Please respect copyright.PENANAPHXkTEzHIX
52Please respect copyright.PENANAmWQUDosz2T
「無論你如何做,我都會痛苦。」言曇岫的鼻子一陣發酸,用乾啞的嗓音說:「人總是作繭自縛,可解鈴還須繫鈴人,只有我能讓自己出去,而不是你。」52Please respect copyright.PENANAWufn9A6LJM
52Please respect copyright.PENANAnMX5Xp0NBE
言曇岫知道對方的緘默是動搖了,於是他鬆了手,「你早些休息。」52Please respect copyright.PENANA4py15r40aE
52Please respect copyright.PENANAwT4yQyD8TW
在所有人都應當深眠的時辰,言曇岫睜開毫無睡意的眼,濃重的夜色讓視力失去作用,他翻身面牆,縮著身子,好沒容易才緩過呼吸,哽咽過了許久才成為語句:「是我貪求。」52Please respect copyright.PENANAiY0zIRg1NB
52Please respect copyright.PENANAFPQGpnfkDR
當言曇岫將黎絳洵在這段期間打點好的行囊卸下時,黎絳洵沒有開口阻攔,自此而後,他們之間隔著一汪無法越過的涼水,沒有人再提起這件事,只是也無法回到原本的位置。52Please respect copyright.PENANAWNNJMxhctO
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就這麼渾渾噩噩地過著,也許一生……就能毫無波瀾地結束了。52Please respect copyright.PENANA4y2WAao57A
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言曇岫臥病在床時,一直緊抓這句話不放。52Please respect copyright.PENANAI6BFRbW1Wx
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黎家長輩憐他怎麼忽然就病倒了,言談岫卻慶幸如此,因為他已經失眠太久,寧可就這樣一直昏睡下去。52Please respect copyright.PENANADnw1k3mYyb
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都說大難不死,必有後福,或許此番重病後,他能看淡,或有不同際遇。52Please respect copyright.PENANAFAJQyTd7gO
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再能清醒時,言曇岫第一眼就望見黎絳洵趴在床邊的睡臉。52Please respect copyright.PENANAONZ0UTmLEE
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儘管想伸手觸碰,言曇岫還是壓抑下來,只有目光始終貪婪,無法撤離。52Please respect copyright.PENANAkP9tOIlM67
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朝陽的光點點墜落在黎絳洵身上,言曇岫聽見他夢囈著:「別再走丟了……」52Please respect copyright.PENANAI5I1aMaCY8
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──願你得償所願。52Please respect copyright.PENANA7HIAOVuzZt
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言曇岫默禱著。52Please respect copyright.PENANAUJQUwYZj0Z
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病癒後的日子,和過去並沒有多少不同,會在寒涼的夜裡壓上被衾的貓也許久未曾進房,成年後的言曇岫不再每次拒絕有花娘相伴的應酬,只有接待他的清倌知道,言曇岫在秦樓楚館也不過是在等待天明,踏著濃重的霧氣,走過清寂的街。52Please respect copyright.PENANAmBL5XYq6QA
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時而他會前往頗負盛名的寺廟求神明保佑黎絳洵實現心願,時而他只是在香火繚繞中愣神。52Please respect copyright.PENANAVND9rGehP7
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黎絳洵那邊,似乎也與往常無異,尋覓多年的人始終沒有線索。52Please respect copyright.PENANALJPJlRP2Vq
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轉眼已是夏末秋初,言曇岫去給義塾送一些生活物資,請夫子在秋分前代為轉交給孤苦無依的學童後,正在門前告別,驚馬掠塵,他沒多想,才將反應不及的孩子扯開,不料塵煙中,有馬車追至,言曇岫在失重中,受了點輕傷。52Please respect copyright.PENANAa0gkkJiep2
52Please respect copyright.PENANAzaPfwZvIFw
他從甫因護他而摔倒的人懷中起身,還沒從漫漫塵沙中辨認出面容,已先聽見熟悉的聲音,緊摟著他的懷抱陌生,他卻捨不得掙開。52Please respect copyright.PENANABSYK7WmIY9
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「你怎麼這麼難讓人放心?」黎絳洵無奈地說,忽然定住不動。52Please respect copyright.PENANAFEUlR0mo7L
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言曇岫原本打算站好後再問黎絳洵為何在這裡,黎絳洵卻沒鬆手讓他起身。52Please respect copyright.PENANAhnqFH182vO
52Please respect copyright.PENANACpG1MVwACV
為了佯裝沒事,省去尷尬,言曇岫勉強自己開口說:「你救了我很多次,我能做的只是希望,將你的善意延續下去,或許這世間緣法千萬,也能讓你在找的人得到溫柔對待。」52Please respect copyright.PENANAqOHWa5Q6VF
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不知為何,黎絳洵一直沒有說話,言曇岫本想確認黎絳洵是否受傷,卻被叫住。52Please respect copyright.PENANADMZobJFCDA
52Please respect copyright.PENANA8dmS26FJCJ
言曇岫抬眸,原先相熟只是前段時間被贖身嫁人的花娘朝他走來,擔憂地問:「言公子,你還好嗎?」52Please respect copyright.PENANAIMuopFXaPb
52Please respect copyright.PENANAIoOofCySRW
言曇岫定了定神,正要接受對方的好意,隔著手帕藉她身過來的手起身,手腕霎時被制住,言曇岫困惑地沿著看過去,黎絳洵已拉著他起身,並把他掩在身後。52Please respect copyright.PENANABfZjdE0W76
52Please respect copyright.PENANAaWhapOxcd8
「這位是……」言曇岫正欲介紹,黎絳洵用力一握,言曇岫低頭望自己被勒紅的手腕。52Please respect copyright.PENANAkoo6of0IZq
52Please respect copyright.PENANA8NfLwRySGt
黎絳洵和那位姑娘客套幾句,也沒讓言曇岫開口,就拽著人上了來時的馬車。52Please respect copyright.PENANAAxYZQZCIsD
52Please respect copyright.PENANA2KlhZrna1T
言曇岫幾次偷覷黎絳洵,黎絳洵彷若未覺,直到將至黎家,言曇岫推窗望向逐漸熟悉的街景,黎絳洵突兀地開口問:「那是你心上人嗎?」52Please respect copyright.PENANAEpJNdR8Fil
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「她嫁人了,我們只是認識而已。」52Please respect copyright.PENANAP7vKRnkmE2
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「你……」52Please respect copyright.PENANAj3Rwd5cpDg
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言曇岫沒聽見黎絳洵後面的話,正要回望黎絳洵,馬車已停。52Please respect copyright.PENANAdH7dH4ImK6
52Please respect copyright.PENANAb2hdkjN6gR
言曇岫先下了馬車,將手伸向黎絳洵,直到言曇岫意識到黎絳洵可能並不樂意讓自己協助,正要收手,黎絳洵忽然緊攢言曇岫的手指。52Please respect copyright.PENANACsNbTGLeKN
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「絳……」52Please respect copyright.PENANAMR3C9UW37V
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黎絳洵下了馬車,逕自將言曇岫拉入自己房中。52Please respect copyright.PENANAG6JuyrcAGV
52Please respect copyright.PENANAcbYVl52iLi
言曇岫侷促不安地望著黎絳洵剛闔上門的背影,他們之間的空氣中有浮塵和著光。52Please respect copyright.PENANAz7kEGtRpJS
52Please respect copyright.PENANAkmYXUS7eu5
「我一直在想,我很可能只是裝得太像常人,其實已經瘋了很久。可是你……你一直擾亂我的記憶,這讓我很混亂。」52Please respect copyright.PENANAmYi2BREtIR
52Please respect copyright.PENANA9UPjZ8yGxL
「絳洵哥哥,你怎麼了嗎?」52Please respect copyright.PENANAtfLGyZcCnm
52Please respect copyright.PENANArcnIZfD9b8
黎絳洵轉身與他錯肩而過,取出藥箱後說:「衣服脫下來,我替你上藥。」52Please respect copyright.PENANAbcR0WaTWI3
52Please respect copyright.PENANA4Lli3WwF8Z
「我可以自己……」52Please respect copyright.PENANAz6f321AY6y
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「你碰不到。」52Please respect copyright.PENANAFh6wlVIY3N
52Please respect copyright.PENANAu7lBux8zHz
言曇岫第一次看見黎絳洵露出這樣鄭重的表情,他只能遲疑地背過身,脫下塵土與裂痕遍布的衣衫,直到上半身的衣著盡數褪下,他將所有髮絲撩至肩前。52Please respect copyright.PENANAQehVMTwMBK
52Please respect copyright.PENANAJQOMCONCQJ
黎絳洵似乎一直沒有動,言曇岫轉頭瞥向傳來貓叫聲的窗,裸露在外的皮膚只有不歇的寒冷侵襲,雖然不曉得黎絳洵怎麼了,只是貓叫聲越來越響亮,言曇岫直接走過去開了窗,冷風拂面,迫不及待的貓立刻跳了進來。52Please respect copyright.PENANAiAedH0RADA
52Please respect copyright.PENANAUMVBjJ4LAu
「你背後的、不是,你知道你身上有奇怪的傷疤嗎?」52Please respect copyright.PENANAPM1yMaiYiy
52Please respect copyright.PENANA8w5wEkEFfp
「傷疤應該很多,只是我看不見,也不曉得你說的是哪一個。不過娘親說背部靠近腰的位置,有一塊胎記,附近應該有一個像是言家家徽的疤。小時候,言小姐覺得胎記和印泥的顏色一樣,偷拿了家主的印信玩,少夫人說是我帶壞小姐,把印信過了火,按在那附近。」言曇岫說這些的時候,視線一直跟著貓,反應過來時,黎絳洵已經緘默很久了。52Please respect copyright.PENANAbDcpgYcUf8
52Please respect copyright.PENANAGBXdupcJWV
言曇岫拿起原本的衣服說:「牠開始咬人了,應該又餓著了,我先去餵牠。」只是還沒將衣服穿上,冰涼的觸覺忽然在後腰暈開。52Please respect copyright.PENANAvBTjWWFnlQ
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原本下意識要躲開,想明白是黎絳洵在替他上藥,言曇秀才將衣服整理好、掛在手臂上。疼痛的感覺並不明顯,那種摔法,表皮的傷不會很重,如果傷到比較裡面的肌肉或骨頭,也是明天才會真的痛起來,言曇岫對痛楚原就十分習慣,反而是黎絳洵的手指更讓他在意,他只能專注在不斷咬著褲腳的貓,以免再次讓黎絳洵察覺他還沒完全走出來。52Please respect copyright.PENANACRxf5XlKSu
52Please respect copyright.PENANAxll7mLCOsN
因為不能動的關係,言曇岫又忙著物資支援給義塾的事情,逐漸犯睏起來。52Please respect copyright.PENANALIuLfMGMCw
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「你有心上人了嗎?」52Please respect copyright.PENANAO4BLmBzKWD
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言曇岫想假裝沒聽見黎絳洵的問題,歛眸任由倦怠感散往四肢,作勢打了呵欠。52Please respect copyright.PENANAwbIHVccdT1
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也不曉得自己是真的無法思考,還是不願意思考,黎絳洵話後面的意思,對他來說始終很難懂。52Please respect copyright.PENANAE7SICTLqEm
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「若你,有了想雙宿雙棲的對象,也不一定要留在這裡,」一次漫長的氣流過去,黎絳洵的聲音彷彿從很遙遠的地方傳來:「要是你想離開,這次,我不攔你。」52Please respect copyright.PENANANISiZl7hDk
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52Please respect copyright.PENANA12ADeNbvpe