一、45Please respect copyright.PENANAhnQdAMuIMq
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久違的感覺。45Please respect copyright.PENANAYyvzJn7VlA
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是什麼?45Please respect copyright.PENANAcNJ66xgScP
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想不起來。45Please respect copyright.PENANArw1VWOYyY2
45Please respect copyright.PENANAiL1hYRcVL6
手臂上有刺痛感,不是因為疲憊,而是……不是因為疲憊?45Please respect copyright.PENANAnntpGq6WBA
45Please respect copyright.PENANAoNsCk8uqRn
黎絳洵張開眼,對上一隻小貓的臉,過近的貓爪原本要打在他臉上,小貓被他嚇了一跳,往後退一步,接著開始用難以想像這個小身體是怎麼發出的極大音量開始喵喵叫。45Please respect copyright.PENANASjogoeeqcz
45Please respect copyright.PENANAKGL3D4uKxH
他撐起身體起床,錦被從肩上滑落,天似乎沒有很亮,是陰天、或者傍晚了嗎?45Please respect copyright.PENANA8jBi74HcvG
45Please respect copyright.PENANAUOLggMlYzm
花了一點時間回神,床上的貓仍舊在叫,黎絳洵伸手撈起貓,不畏懼任何生物、並隨時準備幹架的貓,依然朝他大叫。45Please respect copyright.PENANA1PmwM4JlmB
45Please respect copyright.PENANAoBMCL9xc1R
「綉綉,貓……」黎絳洵用手肘揭開床簾,耀眼的陽光爭先恐後地將浮塵照清楚,隨後他頓了頓思緒,看向自從離開舊宅就沒再用過的床簾,視線往下移,精緻的被子上顯然不可能有磨損或補丁。45Please respect copyright.PENANAgrIBRt4hjK
45Please respect copyright.PENANAz3NeGKdOzo
他原本想說什麼?45Please respect copyright.PENANAsi0S9hkOfn
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他是想跟妻子說,這隻貓很像以前養過的那隻,他知道妻子這次也會問他:「貓不都長得一樣嗎?」無論自己解釋多久,解釋幾次,妻子總是瞇起眼睛仔細地看貓咪身上的花紋,露出困惑的表情。45Please respect copyright.PENANAFq1WXyLeum
45Please respect copyright.PENANAByPdcKY45G
雖然這樣的妻子總是讓他很無奈,不過按他們家的狀況,原也不適合養動物。45Please respect copyright.PENANA1Zk9mDeqPs
45Please respect copyright.PENANAKsjOk4LghF
黎絳洵放下手中的貓,將床簾完全拉開,搬離故居後,總是夢見的窗,看起來比往常還要近,其他陳設看上去,也十分眼熟。45Please respect copyright.PENANATi6VF9XPYl
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是夢見小時候了嗎?45Please respect copyright.PENANAyoRrofh2Nl
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穿好鞋子並下床後,他看著這些熟悉的東西,貓咪也跳下來,不依不饒地繞著他的腿,緊闔的門外,傳來了少年少女小聲的交談,黎絳洵一推開門,就看見幾個家丁與婢女愣了下,全數恭謹地跪在他面前。45Please respect copyright.PENANA27lFUKoxfy
45Please respect copyright.PENANAe3An3jG3h0
明明他們說的話他應該要聽得懂,可是黎絳洵卻無法理解那些意思,他看向腳邊的貓,他們似乎有提到失蹤的貓。45Please respect copyright.PENANAiehWhwwGHP
45Please respect copyright.PENANARVzv7ehz4A
仍發出叫聲的貓,很快被其中一位婢女抱走,她道歉連連,似乎很怕因為黎絳洵的睡眠被打擾,而受到懲處。45Please respect copyright.PENANAoVpAwunRC3
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這個夢精細得太真實,連婢女服飾身上統一的綉花,都能看見清楚的綉線。45Please respect copyright.PENANAp0idm6a89l
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也不曉得什麼時候才會醒。45Please respect copyright.PENANARjc6Vbf7yo
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穿過熟悉的庭園,走向大廳,母親穿著華貴的衣服,看見他就緊張地湊過來,問他是不是哪裡不舒服。45Please respect copyright.PENANA1AwORUdutn
45Please respect copyright.PENANADTYYii4ntr
和黎絳洵記憶中最後看見的那一面全然不同,母親的面容十分年輕,黎絳洵眼眶一熱,便緊抱住母親,母親嚇了一跳,全身僵硬著不敢動。45Please respect copyright.PENANAxTnw55UY9K
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原本只是瞥他一眼的父親,也從遠處走過來,想將黎絳洵的手從母親身上拿開,卻也被黎絳洵不夠長的手抱在了一塊兒。45Please respect copyright.PENANAU09jQyifum
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他有很多話想說才對,只是因為記憶太遙遠,他想不起來以前和親人是怎麼說話的,他只記得父親不喜歡被親近,除了母親以外的人,父親都不會多說話。45Please respect copyright.PENANA9MWJYOIKgt
45Please respect copyright.PENANAC8vENjRxok
黎絳洵和妻子提過,他覺得父親不喜歡自己,妻子卻說:「說不定只是因為爹很喜歡娘,想一個人獨佔娘。」45Please respect copyright.PENANAwp9hLG2qpH
45Please respect copyright.PENANAO98UAiFKtR
雖然是在夢中,夢裡的人說的話也不能證明什麼,黎絳洵還是說:「我以為我不會再夢見你們了……綉綉說爹只是……」45Please respect copyright.PENANAIFqHFxcHIz
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「綉綉?」45Please respect copyright.PENANAAKnM2AxxDA
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母親看了一眼父親。45Please respect copyright.PENANA5WoQdklnY8
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父親難得對他說話:「你說的是誰?」45Please respect copyright.PENANAFs1E7s1caV
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「是我的妻子,你們的兒媳婦,在──」45Please respect copyright.PENANAejj1elnkn6
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「你是不是睡昏頭了?」45Please respect copyright.PENANA8imLSJL9LE
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「洵兒都還沒弱冠,也不曾見過言家小姐,難道已經提早到這個年紀了嗎?」45Please respect copyright.PENANAYR2Q4A3BfD
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「……既然洵兒想成婚了,早點讓他娶妻,之後他就歸兒媳婦管了,你也不用再耗費心力在他身上。」45Please respect copyright.PENANA89N4eDUsVB
45Please respect copyright.PENANA8Vo1UXYWU6
母親白了父親一眼,「你都多大的人了,到底在鬧什麼脾氣?」45Please respect copyright.PENANAJaFs06b53o
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雖然以前都覺得父親只是單純地不喜歡自己,不過歷經多年人世冷暖,黎絳洵如今再看,也覺得或許妻子說的不錯,父親只是不喜歡母親將注意力分給他以外的人。45Please respect copyright.PENANARYMOWTfnAO
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「爹,很愛娘啊。」黎絳洵訥訥道。45Please respect copyright.PENANAaeUlHg17W7
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父母同時掙開了黎絳洵,一個紅著臉拼命要解釋,另一個露出了讚許的眼神,像在說:「你終於開竅了。」45Please respect copyright.PENANA27R3lNq9FX
45Please respect copyright.PENANAt0oAvZnbTM
黎絳洵原本要打斷這個慌亂的場景,卻忽然反應過來一件很奇怪的事,自己最後一次見到父母的時候,並不是從這個角度看他們的,他不太可能在多年後才夢見小時候、還沒完全固定身高的自己眼中的父母。45Please respect copyright.PENANABzPtTzYg87
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儘管難以置信,黎絳洵仍是問:「爹、娘,今年是幾年啊?」45Please respect copyright.PENANAZ37DIVQp8r
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──真的有可能嗎?45Please respect copyright.PENANAJNQZSVKhUB
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黎絳洵應付掉父母找道士來為他招魂的要求,雖然因為剛才問的問題,父母暫時不會允許他出門,以防發生萬一,因此他只能待在宅子裡,不過這也足夠了。45Please respect copyright.PENANAXW5PtUb7x2
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──確實難以斷定,這究竟是夢境,或者自己回到了過去;只是想來,蝶夢莊周,莊周夢蝶,哪邊是夢,也不能說得準。45Please respect copyright.PENANAZPM0N35BtM
45Please respect copyright.PENANAHKOJOiBEWR
黎絳洵將還沒經過任何磋磨的手覆在尚未斑駁的牆上。45Please respect copyright.PENANAOeoUvPW9KR
45Please respect copyright.PENANAyiGkPgeYzG
他沒有什麼高尚的節操,他只是個俗人,如果允許的話,他想要實現這個願望:這一次,要保住所有他所愛的人。45Please respect copyright.PENANAXBnOaUPoHB
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黎絳洵握拳,看著自己太小的手。45Please respect copyright.PENANAf7F0R4BvtD
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總覺得過往的聖賢書都沒真的讀進去,那些熟背的經典,分明要求他要報效國家,他自己在當夫子的時候,也是這樣教導學生,可是重返過去,他只想周全家人,而不是輔佐仍在潛邸的未來天子。45Please respect copyright.PENANAXKCuHQU6Ni
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他呼出一口氣。45Please respect copyright.PENANAXPFEsjXd95
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要確認記憶中的前世,是否真的會在未來發生,倒也不是不可能。45Please respect copyright.PENANAkQU9l0AZZw
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只需要確認關於妻子的事情,就能印證了。45Please respect copyright.PENANAwxgQzQGJvK
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他很想立刻去找妻子,妻子娘家和黎家不同,人口更為複雜,妻子出嫁前也受到不少欺凌,沒有人能保護她,要是能立刻將妻子帶離那個吃人的家,想必妻子就能少受點罪。45Please respect copyright.PENANAgtNgRO3eaV
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可是他很貪心。45Please respect copyright.PENANAyGsji0cax3
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他要周全所有人,就要先累積自己的力量,將家人帶離原本的方向,穩定己方勢力,才能讓家人活下去,也才有能力保護妻子,讓她無須再過上前世那樣的日子。45Please respect copyright.PENANAJureCC8mgn
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也許這次,只要撐過去,他們真的能白首偕老。45Please respect copyright.PENANA0dPclekKwm
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黎絳洵鬆開手,掌紋間有有指甲的痕跡,阻斷了原本的線。45Please respect copyright.PENANAwY1g1oyd7I
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──綉綉,你再等等我。45Please respect copyright.PENANAPGABf5S2W8
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要讓父親放下戒心,不會是件容易的事。45Please respect copyright.PENANA77FlqDqTdW
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離黎家因為黨爭遭到肅清,時間只剩沒幾年。45Please respect copyright.PENANAEFFLa09ito
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黎家世代簪纓,直到父親為與母親相守,帶著母親私奔,無法借助家族勢力,只能以平民科考入仕,所幸父親並未懈怠,確實有學問,最終謀得一官半職,只是要在宦海浮沉,很難片葉不沾,若無家世或貴族幫襯,隨時會被當成代罪羔羊、構陷入獄,而即便狀況好些,也可能因為上面要安插自己的人,而讓中立的官員頻繁調職。45Please respect copyright.PENANAHMlz0fX4Ny
45Please respect copyright.PENANAXCv7f8heOb
父親不可能讓母親飽嚐舟車勞頓,如若因為官職而讓母親受苦,對父親而言,反而本末倒置,因此即便知道前途未卜,他也很難明哲保身。45Please respect copyright.PENANAQmc4xckgaV
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這也是為什麼,寒門出身,未必就與蔭官對立。45Please respect copyright.PENANAdgIeomdI1y
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雖然父親未必不知道,兩不得罪是最好的方法,只是按照父親的性子與背景,也無法學全那些虛與委蛇的應對,再加上,不久之後,皇上會傳出病情,幾位皇子躍躍欲試,造成嚴重黨爭,不選邊站,幾乎不可能。45Please respect copyright.PENANAFEZ8JjSY68
45Please respect copyright.PENANAoGJITCQwUd
與其被誤認是敵方勢力而攻擊,倒不如真的投靠其中一派,受其庇蔭。這是所有人的共識。45Please respect copyright.PENANAcUsItEab1G
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黨爭內容細瑣繁雜,要完全掌握在手中,幾乎不可能,是以與其事事都做得密不透風,不如多犯些小錯,讓人以為抓住了自己的把柄,這樣只要大事上選擇正確,無論於民於己,都是最好的結果。45Please respect copyright.PENANALjE0PL8eJZ
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前世的父親因為不諳此道,也並不幸運,沒有選到正確的儲君,最後遭到打壓清算,母親為救父親而疲於奔命,散盡家財,也無法挽回頹勢,最後積勞成疾,反而走得比父親更早,父親很快便也離世,留他孤身一人。45Please respect copyright.PENANAxRsMPVL5OZ
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當時的黎絳洵能做的不多。45Please respect copyright.PENANAEuPRgAshjh
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父親不太管他,母親過於保護他,導致做了許多現在看來都十足蠢笨的錯事,聽信謠言、驕矜自大、死不改錯、還與紈褲子弟廝混等,這些都算輕的,因為真正的根本問題,是不夠聰明卻自以為是,是識人不明而遭致利用。45Please respect copyright.PENANA5aPsf55hzS
45Please respect copyright.PENANAWC2mcKg2vH
成為別人的擋箭牌,而樹敵萬千,也因為訊息閉鎖、未能看清真正局勢,面對他人的虛假奉承都信以為真,可利益底下主動接近的,終究也會因為利益而離去。45Please respect copyright.PENANA9ZGcSbhY0e
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這種情況下,本就無人能勸導,更何況按他當時的性子,也不可能聽勸。45Please respect copyright.PENANAE3JzFmH5VZ
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不是不曾怨懟過父母,只是年歲漸長後,才能體會到當時的父母,也是第一次當人爹娘,又沒長輩能請教,教養孩子只能且戰且走。45Please respect copyright.PENANAU5bXaNEgK2
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無論對哪方勢力而言,這樣的黎家,都是十分容易操控且殺雞儆猴的好對象。45Please respect copyright.PENANAQ2391GAdst
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所幸,前世他為了替黎家翻案,鑽研分析多年,且為了生存,也改掉自己的臭硬脾氣,勉強可說是進退得宜,在官場上雖稱不上如魚得水,到底也差不到哪去。45Please respect copyright.PENANA79BGSCvFs7
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不喜歡做與沒有能力做,是兩件事。45Please respect copyright.PENANAK2rErwbTTB
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黎絳洵午夜夢迴總是貪求的「假如當初」已近在咫尺,是時候推倒重來,改變結局了。45Please respect copyright.PENANAJFemQFkVKj
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這次他必須做到。45Please respect copyright.PENANA9LwcFoqZZx
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