四、43Please respect copyright.PENANAROmLVM1e5T
43Please respect copyright.PENANAI8OHSI5lut
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43Please respect copyright.PENANAvTIL7xJH7G
43Please respect copyright.PENANAdyKwACpsVA
久到母親幾乎要鬆手的時候,黎絳洵開口,遲疑地問:「假如,娘一直以來相信的,其實都是假的,所作所為,不只沒有意義,還……還因此覺得喪失了所有的自信,無法從自我懷疑中脫身,娘會怎麼做?」43Please respect copyright.PENANAERj0S6UtHj
43Please respect copyright.PENANAUJHRysxGxh
母親原本想說什麼,張口欲言幾次,還是嘆氣,「娘很想說出什麼人生哲理,不過……」43Please respect copyright.PENANAWaNs97a6wx
43Please respect copyright.PENANAuM8IMhGQSf
黎絳洵看著母親,總是強勢走在前面,為他抵擋風雨,疼他、寵他的母親,她第一次露出孩子般的迷茫神色。43Please respect copyright.PENANARFBZ4WTOBH
43Please respect copyright.PENANAaEgARmMR2H
「娘不是什麼成功的人,也沒有什麼大道理可以說,或許你爹會有吧,畢竟當初是你爹非要離家出走的。」母親聳聳肩,接著說:「相信的事情,娘只能想到你爹騙了娘,這可能在別人家裡是常有的事,不過你爹的話,假如他騙了娘,那娘也會想,所以這個人到底是誰啊?」43Please respect copyright.PENANAMsZmYQFvto
43Please respect copyright.PENANAc8j8zqkKSQ
父親欺騙母親這種事,在他家裡是不可能發生的,雖然黎絳洵仍然不覺得父親喜歡自己,但父親做任何事情的出發點,都是為了母親。43Please respect copyright.PENANAGZHlRieB7Z
43Please respect copyright.PENANA1bSDCnlG48
母親繼續說:「只是說起來,其實你也長大了,有自己的想法了,說不定經歷的事情,已經比娘還多了。無論什麼原因,選擇相信什麼,就要承擔被背叛的可能信,可是終究……終究做下決定的,是你自己。人不可能完全不做錯任何事,自責也在所難免,你說的那些沒自信之類的,如果是錯信了人、做錯了決定,那除了彌補以外,也沒有其他的事情可以做了。只是……娘還是想讓你知道,天塌下來,有娘在啊,你爹也會在的,你不是一個人。」43Please respect copyright.PENANAzqZk9Oe3jI
43Please respect copyright.PENANALxbEx5B4dn
水流聲在對話結束後,變得清晰起來。43Please respect copyright.PENANA3Em5QpIL6g
43Please respect copyright.PENANAlmkqRfsGxi
母親離開後,黎絳洵依舊待在涼亭裡。43Please respect copyright.PENANAHnvf1gDxDT
43Please respect copyright.PENANAjm1D9np7o4
信與不信前世的存在,都是錯的話,是不是也只能繼續想,哪一條路,錯得比較少?43Please respect copyright.PENANA3JJttC1L6W
43Please respect copyright.PENANAIHRGZDyw5Y
為了彌補前世的缺憾,黎絳洵一直都在朝著目標前進,殫精竭慮,一步不歇。43Please respect copyright.PENANAusub5gBuxL
43Please respect copyright.PENANA3tjD8YQxnD
已經可以覺得累了嗎?43Please respect copyright.PENANASKz1716Z9p
43Please respect copyright.PENANA5bUt6k5MCW
什麼都不知道的時候,還比較輕鬆,可是他總要面對,因為他不是一個人。43Please respect copyright.PENANAZHclqolQbm
43Please respect copyright.PENANABc9UFgebGq
後來母親替自己擋下了不少拜帖,尤其是言府的,讓黎絳洵有更多空間思考。43Please respect copyright.PENANAxweUn9FQ8b
43Please respect copyright.PENANA5YTp37W3Tc
原以為母親會擔心和言府的婚約告吹,母親卻沒有問連言府也不要聯絡的原因。43Please respect copyright.PENANAmY1hxRaSCx
43Please respect copyright.PENANA3hVbsFrBCX
過了一段與言府再無交集的日子,黎絳洵的心慢慢平穩下來。43Please respect copyright.PENANAxrf24MbQox
43Please respect copyright.PENANAGDi9IgRCeD
妻子的音容笑貌仍在腦海中盤旋不去,言曇岫和妻子又長得這麼像,要說妻子完全不曾存在,那也缺乏關鍵的證據。43Please respect copyright.PENANAtFaIsdNWBi
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可是,如果前世是真的,那妻子便是撒了謊。43Please respect copyright.PENANAynK3hs1yDd
43Please respect copyright.PENANAPUkGttr9Pw
即便黎絳洵不追究或找尋真相,妻子究竟是誰?又在哪裡?更進一步來說,他已經改變了黎家的未來,妻子的人生也被改變了嗎?妻子仍會自己來到他面前嗎?要是再也無法相見,自己要怎麼做?43Please respect copyright.PENANAr4q1SuVlOC
43Please respect copyright.PENANACiyNErk2aY
和言曇橋的婚約是必須退掉的,雖然這點是篤定的,只是倘若取消婚約,妻子無法冒用未婚妻的名頭,她仍會來到他身邊嗎?43Please respect copyright.PENANAKjnegrAtos
43Please respect copyright.PENANAEYNKIDIQHu
而為了給妻子一個機會,不取消婚約,拖著言曇橋的年紀不提,即便自私一點想,不考慮言曇橋,妻子也未必就會出現。43Please respect copyright.PENANAKcYCgAVIlb
43Please respect copyright.PENANATnrrlDn59j
期限不能是永遠,他不能將一生虛耗在等待上,總要有期限。43Please respect copyright.PENANABXYOReUXsm
43Please respect copyright.PENANANJAjrQyKhF
巡視店鋪的例行公事,母親原本不希望黎絳洵再費心,黎絳洵卻堅持這個工作不能中斷,依然每隔一段時間,就要親自去現場,看看還有什麼能改進的、或者有沒有需要他處理的事,而回程路上,黎絳洵原會滯留在街市上,替妻子挑選前世沒能送出的各種禮物以及飾品,如今多看一眼那些華美或可愛的小玩意兒,都會再次陷入謎團。43Please respect copyright.PENANAxigTOrDNB4
43Please respect copyright.PENANAM6z7Lc7fzE
於是他也少了逛市集的理由,那些曾經新奇有趣的東西,對黎絳洵而言,再也沒有意義。43Please respect copyright.PENANA2MTwELZOtK
43Please respect copyright.PENANAE1LjEZNVTu
他經過一應失去色彩的街景,回到家中。43Please respect copyright.PENANAUwAFZLqj80
43Please respect copyright.PENANAG9D9eTFG49
庫房裡已經囤積了一些要送給妻子的東西,那都是這些年累積起來的,原本想著以未婚夫的名字送去言府,並無不妥;只是世事難料,待他打點好一切後,有能力守護妻子時,卻不曉得這些東西怎麼送到它們的主人那裡,亦沒了送禮給言府的理由。43Please respect copyright.PENANAFZJnFNFzdD
43Please respect copyright.PENANAgKnUna4mtN
如果只是各家之間年節往來的禮物,自有母親籌備打理,不需要他處理,就如母親說的,他不是一個人,不是只有受到父母保護,他還需要考慮到母親在與言府退婚後,該怎麼面對流言蜚語。43Please respect copyright.PENANA0vg1CzjpSj
43Please respect copyright.PENANAIMakgR1GQW
唯獨不禁惆悵,原本看著就會想到妻子笑容的東西,現在成了積灰而礙事的秤砣,壓著他的心口,嘲諷他兩世都活在謊言中,遠遠重於其他。43Please respect copyright.PENANAQSwBQSER5D
43Please respect copyright.PENANA6j21mClbGO
怎麼也無法繼續前進時,他才會轉往酒樓。43Please respect copyright.PENANA3foXJ8so0N
43Please respect copyright.PENANAW7fjlEUcrH
杯中物澆愁,杯中物忘憂,都說好酒醇厚,黎絳洵卻喝不出來,為了交際應酬,雖然他確實練了酒量,不會幾杯就倒,可他品不出酒水吸引人之處。43Please respect copyright.PENANAgL2tc2Be2L
43Please respect copyright.PENANAoV339fWh79
倘若只是希望讓神思恍惚一些,不再思考自己徒勞無功的努力,實際上根本沒幫上妻子,那麼,酒的味道就半分也不重要。43Please respect copyright.PENANAb28Ec3AEUH
43Please respect copyright.PENANAtr5K9xSvdb
照明與招人用的燈籠,掛上了每個店家醒目之處,黎絳洵也離開酒樓,晚飯時間,自是沒多少人逗留在街上,他吹著風,想藉此吹散酒氣,免去母親煩憂,只是眨眼間,錯過的大門在身後傳出巨響。43Please respect copyright.PENANArauA6QzBtZ
43Please respect copyright.PENANAgkX9maOEE0
他停下腳步往後看,一團黑影被扔出來,摔在地上的聲音相當有份量。43Please respect copyright.PENANAWNRIicqstW
43Please respect copyright.PENANAF8IQsLAYDv
黎絳洵的目光,很快被圍過來看熱鬧的路人們阻隔。看慣了這戶人家做派的街坊鄰居們對著縮成一團的人指指點點,向不明所以的路人嘰嘰喳喳地解釋著。43Please respect copyright.PENANAcOGDmSS7uL
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言府庶長子。43Please respect copyright.PENANAJXEiOBxIKf
43Please respect copyright.PENANAZTJNLjBP5L
聽著反復在人們口中出現的稱呼,黎絳洵沒有立刻離開,他本就知道言曇岫的事情,他人說來說去,也是同樣那些事情,即便黎絳洵能替他阻撓幾次,源源不絕的惡意才是根源,不治本,就只能聽由虐待之事繼續加諸在言曇岫身上。43Please respect copyright.PENANAgGrqrgVzxY
43Please respect copyright.PENANAqjfLsCV6av
人潮或快或慢地散開,逐漸露出了正在書展四肢的言曇岫,不曉得是頭部或者四肢受了傷,站起來的動作並不順暢,他搖了幾晃,茫然四顧,直到看見黎絳洵。43Please respect copyright.PENANAg2WRue9uQk
43Please respect copyright.PENANATS4HPk3d8v
言曇岫全身一僵,慌忙用也沒多乾淨的袖子擦拭著臉,卻只是越擦越髒,只是言曇岫不曉得這件事。43Please respect copyright.PENANA2b90LI31Fb
43Please respect copyright.PENANA24SMJlcWiV
他跑向黎絳洵,期期艾艾地問:「記得嗎?我……你。」43Please respect copyright.PENANAcEkPRnLIyO
43Please respect copyright.PENANAZoVzKRYeev
黎絳洵緩緩眨著眼,他想不起來剛才思量了什麼,又為何要停下,分明早該回家。43Please respect copyright.PENANALN9atsCxkH
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家中……家中有備菜,妻子在等他回家。43Please respect copyright.PENANALr6i8CbdAS
43Please respect copyright.PENANAFxnDBqTguD
因為酒精而逐漸加重的頭暈,讓黎絳洵的身子搖搖擺擺的,無法完全站穩,言曇岫想扶住他,然而一伸出手,對比黎絳洵身上乾淨精緻的衣服,自己連手都不乾淨,要是碰了,只會弄髒人家而已。43Please respect copyright.PENANAnA4oTNDq3H
43Please respect copyright.PENANAi5k2MGic4w
言曇岫這麼一猶豫,黎絳洵便差點撲倒了言曇岫,言曇岫盡力撐直身板,讓黎絳洵不要摔到地上。43Please respect copyright.PENANA3yk599CIUA
43Please respect copyright.PENANA31zf3JBzYi
黎絳洵靠在言談岫肩上咕噥著,有些糊在一起的詞彙以及鼻音,有些過於小聲,幾乎聽不見。43Please respect copyright.PENANAXfX1m6Ihsn
43Please respect copyright.PENANAFvcTTD0MBt
言曇岫皺著眉看天,他沒有思考過太複雜的事情,但他記得,有一次自己等不到其他願意幫他開門的人,又冷又餓的,有個和尚經過,把化緣而來的飯菜分了些給他。43Please respect copyright.PENANACo2tMBcIeA
43Please respect copyright.PENANAGc1VnFMluI
他就這麼扶著黎絳洵走,走到附近一間讓他躲雨過的寺廟,儘管言曇岫沒辦法好好說明,廟裡的人還是騰了乾淨的地方,給黎絳洵休息。43Please respect copyright.PENANALWf4CbB2Jk
43Please respect copyright.PENANAUeq6ktwaSi
言曇岫縮著肩膀,彎曲著手指,時不時瞥向黎絳洵,每每對上他身上被自己弄髒的地方,他就越不敢坐下休息,在一旁站了很久。43Please respect copyright.PENANAkLRVSXCro6
43Please respect copyright.PENANAHC8dB5QW5n
黎絳洵一直沒有醒,言曇岫不曉得到底發生什麼事,只能學著其他香客,在案前下跪,跪也不敢跪在地板以外的地方,雙手合十,小小聲用自己理解的語言,向神明祈求。43Please respect copyright.PENANA1RnMqiGHUN
43Please respect copyright.PENANAazV6WCSEws
半課鐘後,由於初醒而模糊的視線,被灰煙繚繞半遮半掩,黎絳洵愣神望著跪在地上、虔誠求神的身影,過了很久,言曇岫察覺到他醒了,走到他面前,怯怯地看他,黎絳洵才反應過來,他仍舊沒有回到妻子所在的地方,那個專注祈禱的熟悉身影,不是他妻子。43Please respect copyright.PENANAW5HDnyx6nr
43Please respect copyright.PENANArfdcD6I2gz
黎絳洵深深吸了口氣,雙肩隨著呼氣垂下來。43Please respect copyright.PENANAFAy5jERlGa
43Please respect copyright.PENANAe2KgxH0ktV
「你……想離開言府嗎?」黎絳洵遲疑地問。43Please respect copyright.PENANAzDJQ7XlqS6
43Please respect copyright.PENANAYSJx4PI8hD
言曇岫歪著頭問:「去哪裡?」43Please respect copyright.PENANA4ZXYjKvml6
43Please respect copyright.PENANA5M6k2Na5kO
「跟我回家,要嗎?」43Please respect copyright.PENANA6L1p1WIL2r
43Please respect copyright.PENANAzO5PczPraz
言曇岫看起來不太明白這句話的意思,黎絳洵只能用過往問他事情時的老方法,發音盡量清晰地、將同一個意思換成其他句子。43Please respect copyright.PENANAc97OzlJDwR
43Please respect copyright.PENANAeFRACMF0Vx
言曇岫的四肢過瘦,身高也比黎絳洵矮,黎絳洵順著言曇岫的視線看過去,是自己的手正摩娑著腰間的玉珮。43Please respect copyright.PENANAnwL1D6LhLS
43Please respect copyright.PENANAyyZWJsSqpg
黎絳洵沒等到答覆,他不由得想,是他不該介入他人的人生,能決定自身命運的、永遠只有當事人,若言曇岫不願意,無論所處環境再怎樣令人憐憫,黎絳洵都不會主動干涉。43Please respect copyright.PENANAtAVpwKFHlp
43Please respect copyright.PENANAoIJDFt8ZNk
黎絳洵向廟裡的人問明了位置,接著帶言曇岫回到言府的宏偉大門前。43Please respect copyright.PENANAVmQpkvgS61
43Please respect copyright.PENANA07IbwGdFJZ
他躬身對言曇岫說:「再見。」43Please respect copyright.PENANAmlHiLPmLki
43Please respect copyright.PENANAU1kBrxgkD2
玉珮下的流蘇隨著他轉身而晃動,黎絳洵暗忖著恐怕要放棄言曇岫這條線索,用更間接的方式,先從言曇岫的生母那邊查起。43Please respect copyright.PENANASxZ3gxcTuH
43Please respect copyright.PENANA7vilruKWR2
雖說他原本也不是為了要找妻子才問言曇岫要不要跟他走的,要問為什麼,他自己也不曉得。43Please respect copyright.PENANAhlqKOq2xeV
43Please respect copyright.PENANAqhqhdxEOHM
忽然從背後撞上來的力道不輕,言曇岫環著他的腰,頓了頓,又趕忙鬆手,小力扯了扯黎絳洵的袖子尾端。43Please respect copyright.PENANA0ZjCKAra50
43Please respect copyright.PENANAFiBGRzUaF5
「生氣嗎?」43Please respect copyright.PENANAIfdELOd6zJ
43Please respect copyright.PENANAbQWzn1ZfHT
黎絳洵搖頭說:「我沒生氣。」43Please respect copyright.PENANAOztEDyhYvh
43Please respect copyright.PENANA5kvBw6Cgok
言曇岫鬆開手,怯生生地說:「生氣……打人的,可是……可是想。」43Please respect copyright.PENANAjBYNBqRHXn
43Please respect copyright.PENANAaCIeGPDWQC
要說黎絳洵能光靠這些詞彙理解全文,那是不可能的,不過他凝視著努力想表達意思的言曇岫,露出鬆了口氣的笑容。43Please respect copyright.PENANAwftPNkVSf2
43Please respect copyright.PENANA4POkJVYOee
「好。」43Please respect copyright.PENANAA7JHMtiq1f
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只要這樣就夠了。43Please respect copyright.PENANAETPmkeUmmj
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43Please respect copyright.PENANAFhuCGrE4r3
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43Please respect copyright.PENANAjy6jpFPo6K