番外49Please respect copyright.PENANAhMowkiVr2L
49Please respect copyright.PENANAtbotMpUHeF
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這一生究竟為何而來?49Please respect copyright.PENANAZ8BAdmEw40
49Please respect copyright.PENANAtMMc14bza1
第一次閃過這個念頭,是得知生母再也不會醒來的時候。49Please respect copyright.PENANA9IObi7pm1A
49Please respect copyright.PENANAmgRiQx3Pqf
那時雖然他能聽懂一些詞彙,不過因為太少和生母以外的人相處,他不太會說話,比語言更早學會的是,辨別語氣和表情。49Please respect copyright.PENANAgvze445FG2
49Please respect copyright.PENANAZM7lUjsF9K
而他的名字,是日常生活中很難用到的字,因此最早學會的字,也並非自己的名字。49Please respect copyright.PENANA0rXUp0hCjV
49Please respect copyright.PENANAZTwOPJE2xi
言曇岫。49Please respect copyright.PENANAnTzDdcVmTQ
49Please respect copyright.PENANAGNr7ZQkWr1
他叫言曇岫。49Please respect copyright.PENANAxK3tCNf1AD
49Please respect copyright.PENANAxqEgoIChaG
言曇岫和他帶著幾分縹緲美的名字不同,所有遐想對他而言都難以理解,也不曉得自己的名字是什麼意思,母親不識字,也無法教他,而其他人……從生母被草草從後門抬出去的時候,他才從別人的喁喁私語中,認知到一個事實,人有父母,而他只有生母,生母相對的詞彙,是公子,這應該是為什麼,下人們都說他不是人。49Please respect copyright.PENANArCJgqCItdu
49Please respect copyright.PENANAVk8NSkOO0S
也有人用嫌惡的語氣對他大呼小叫,他們說為人子女,母親亡故,應該要哭。49Please respect copyright.PENANAEUcKgd67lr
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可是他不明白。49Please respect copyright.PENANA2XRLfJzxnR
49Please respect copyright.PENANARICQ2FoCiJ
他活得像是人人喊打的過街老鼠,每天在疼痛與飢餓中醒來時,他都會想,為什麼自己還活著?生母以前總跟他說:「壞事到了盡頭,就會變成好事,善有善報、惡有惡報。」49Please respect copyright.PENANAqh1ysizaS2
49Please respect copyright.PENANAyvbbk5ijlG
言曇岫小時候相信過,不過後來嫡夫人入府,杖殺了生母,言曇岫又不信了。49Please respect copyright.PENANAlGahI0YH6O
49Please respect copyright.PENANASzvcwt2XDv
知道好壞的差別,也是在嫡夫人入府後的事情,此前他不知道,作為公子的孩子,應該要有怎麼樣的人生,是見到嫡姊以後,有了對比,言曇秀才曉得,什麼樣的生活叫作好。49Please respect copyright.PENANApxH0jMh04F
49Please respect copyright.PENANAfT5QP0txyY
投生在嫡夫人腹中的嫡姊,過著與他完全相反的生活。49Please respect copyright.PENANAlaQ4S5eV7T
49Please respect copyright.PENANA5IZ5PHqPHc
即便離開言府很久以後,他聽到公子與嫡夫人的美談,都仍會感到全身發冷,想吐的感覺總是壓不下去。49Please respect copyright.PENANAR1FF7VVsTs
49Please respect copyright.PENANA7S0ndNgoEP
那時候理智上已經理解,有情人終成眷屬、男子癡心不改、女子忠貞不渝,都是傳為佳話的因素。49Please respect copyright.PENANArlVqMLk6WU
49Please respect copyright.PENANAwa7mAX09l8
那愛情,應該是很偉大的東西,比可以叮囑公子不可以讓言曇岫死掉的老夫人,還要有權力的東西。49Please respect copyright.PENANAIOFiTcyFd9
49Please respect copyright.PENANA00LFy5N4Am
也是生母與他的身分,不可妄求的東西。49Please respect copyright.PENANAsAEEolGbr8
49Please respect copyright.PENANAhstbsOd8aE
嫡夫人家原是小商戶,雖在待字閨中時便與言府嫡公子珠胎暗結,卻因長輩的門第之見,被言府強行棒打鴛鴦。那之後,嫡公子也沒有同意迎娶任何貴女入門,為了開枝散葉、不讓嫡脈斷絕,這些年裡,老夫人沒少在嫡公子房裡塞人,言曇岫的生母只是其一。49Please respect copyright.PENANAUY3cMxMhZK
49Please respect copyright.PENANALipLEtNq4F
生母懷上他的緣由,流言說法不一,但總歸是通房被酒醉亂性後,沒掩好身子,老夫人也不准嫡公子打掉這個長子,然而即便保住了孩子的命,言曇岫生母日日夜夜、戰戰兢兢的祈求,仍沒能上達天聽,生下孩子後,言府食言,不讓她返家,要她照料孩子的同時,也要繼續守奴才的本分,做大大小小安排給她的工作,還要經常被嘲諷,要她別蹬鼻子上臉、真把自己當主人了。49Please respect copyright.PENANAWvZloI0PSp
49Please respect copyright.PENANA71sVpTsOD0
同樣是懷過公子的孩子,嫡夫人和生母的境遇完全不同,嫡夫人家在這幾年間風生水起,官運、財運具是亨通,終於引起言府注意,腆著臉把人娶回來當正妻娘子。49Please respect copyright.PENANA85i4FzcOzL
49Please respect copyright.PENANAEjf7CEnqxK
人人都說,生母的好運到頭了,言曇岫在婚禮那天,也看見了滿堂艷紅的裝飾,喜慶的氛圍裡,和言曇岫年歲差異不大的家生奴僕都得了喜糖或賞錢。49Please respect copyright.PENANAoNyaFb97Bl
49Please respect copyright.PENANAVjVXoRQMX0
生母緊抱著言曇岫發抖,不讓他再看。49Please respect copyright.PENANA3rXPUd62Cj
49Please respect copyright.PENANAmEd8gLd8ia
為什麼對生母以外的人,都是喜事?49Please respect copyright.PENANAfrvSyp7ar3
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生母又為何而哭?49Please respect copyright.PENANAMop5Gaqu9c
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年幼的言曇岫不懂,也沒有能教他的人,所以生母被嫡夫人活活打死後,他無法理解死亡的意思,而且生母一直想離開言府,她也確實不在這裡了,為什麼自己還在?49Please respect copyright.PENANAhdIjWDSVhV
49Please respect copyright.PENANAr8W5qOH9bd
後來意識到,原來生母在世時,曾經百般保護他,他才明白「好運到頭了」是什麼意思。49Please respect copyright.PENANA4CD7xbLOmj
49Please respect copyright.PENANASGinT7yYcQ
生母說的不對。49Please respect copyright.PENANAlh2Dtq9a33
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壞事的盡頭,只會是更壞的事。49Please respect copyright.PENANAqAbQR4hjDX
49Please respect copyright.PENANAemJJ3Xn0kP
言曇岫這樣相信著。49Please respect copyright.PENANAodC62zo6AO
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如果真的會有好事,怎麼不一開始就讓他或生母有不同的家世?生母這一生算是有遇到過好事嗎?49Please respect copyright.PENANArYMiJE66YI
49Please respect copyright.PENANAksgrwvTkfu
窮苦人家生了太多孩子,不只養不起,還為了要男孩而繼續生,女孩被一個個賣掉換錢,生母只是其中之一。也許生母對父母也沒有概念。49Please respect copyright.PENANAQLsPhHAG6Z
49Please respect copyright.PENANAQeqQNxoQem
她好不容易用奴婢的身分熬了幾年,卻因為幾分姿色與身子乾淨,被老夫人逼迫成為嫡公子的通房,她硬著頭皮,耗費幾多唇舌,才成功讓嫡公子將她的死契換成活契,時間一到就能出府。49Please respect copyright.PENANA1TEL8WRnrN
49Please respect copyright.PENANA5kv7NN5tGf
可意外來得更快,說不會碰她的嫡公子強要了她,她沒能狠下心打掉的孩子,成了她無法離開的原因。還是言府庶公子的如夫人看不過眼,替她偷偷打點,好沒容易換到一個只要拋下孩子,就能回歸良民身分的機會。49Please respect copyright.PENANAK2wgHr0uAz
49Please respect copyright.PENANANkRBgYluIb
然而嫡夫人入府後,承諾會放生母自由的嫡公子,並沒有阻撓嫡妻將人杖殺。49Please respect copyright.PENANAuuQlvTekxy
49Please respect copyright.PENANAGHSTcSwFf5
言曇岫這輩子也不會知道,生母之所以沒離開,是因為掛心自己,還是來不及。49Please respect copyright.PENANAhBECLn87gL
49Please respect copyright.PENANAsVzfurE2sN
只是他經常會想,如果自己不存在,許多事情都會不一樣。49Please respect copyright.PENANAj8VmzmwzXW
49Please respect copyright.PENANAm9hGSoS8XH
沒有生育過的生母應當已經自由,言曇岫自己亦不用捱受凌虐,嫡公子與嫡夫人守得雲開見月明……言曇岫的存在,對所有人而言,都不是好事。49Please respect copyright.PENANAP6LMvskC79
49Please respect copyright.PENANAaHi5GTq0IC
言府要去和指腹為婚的黎家退親那天,沉沉的烏雲隨時要落雨一般,言曇岫的關節因舊傷而疼痛不已,還被戲耍著換上女裝,欺壓他的下人們一哄而散,管家娘子誤認他是新來的侍女,便遣他去黎家退親、要回嫡姊的更帖。49Please respect copyright.PENANAtt4VA6koB1
49Please respect copyright.PENANA2tDrujUxDU
離開言府後,還沒找著黎家大宅的位置,途中果然開始下了大雨,以言曇岫的處境而言,自然沒有傘可用,他只能拖著沉重的步伐,好沒容易才輾轉到了黎家。49Please respect copyright.PENANAlK8Y6TvKWs
49Please respect copyright.PENANA8tefLzt2U9
只是黎家卻空無一人。49Please respect copyright.PENANAPrSOmOZPqt
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幾番探問後,鄰居告訴他黎家公子現在的住處,言曇岫在雨中艱難地走著,在他即將被痛楚按倒在地上時,他看見了一棵大樹,樹後就是就是他要找的人所住的地方。49Please respect copyright.PENANAGueDW49Gth
49Please respect copyright.PENANAXKM8h2fThQ
言曇岫勉力行至門前,初次見到洽好推開簡陋竹門的黎絳洵。49Please respect copyright.PENANAex0Zedgpfi
49Please respect copyright.PENANAg3pF755PY6
黎絳洵眼中無光,冷漠得像是不會因任何事情產生情緒,和生母過世後的自己一樣。49Please respect copyright.PENANAsCSsJ7PB6a
49Please respect copyright.PENANAjoQwrbDmyP
這個發現,不曉得為什麼讓言曇岫忽然感覺呼吸輕鬆了許多,聽見黎絳洵在雨聲中稱呼他「姑娘」的瞬間,言曇岫第一次有了自己的想法。49Please respect copyright.PENANA9KpHKsaQUO
49Please respect copyright.PENANATgxSNfwEUX
為什麼不呢?49Please respect copyright.PENANAFpI8vlNvIL
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他也是公子的孩子,嫡姊不要的,他可以要嗎?49Please respect copyright.PENANAkPXH4l7hSk
49Please respect copyright.PENANAcERsZZTD6N
這是他在童叔叔死後,第一個見到沒對他有任何負面表現的人。49Please respect copyright.PENANAJBJqSlkiPC
49Please respect copyright.PENANALyWw7nPY1d
生母離開言府後,再也沒有回去,那他是不是也可以不回去?49Please respect copyright.PENANAHQu6b971Oa
49Please respect copyright.PENANAaSyzwtOkXv
連曾經對他好的童叔叔也沒有再回來了。49Please respect copyright.PENANApvIkHkwgTl
49Please respect copyright.PENANAhZq3YkquUg
壞事之後會是更壞的事。他知道這點,可是他也懷疑,自己還能墜落到更糟的境地嗎?49Please respect copyright.PENANA6sR005i6FG
49Please respect copyright.PENANAx7tTnEk0Yb
言府給他的未來,很明確只有一條死路。49Please respect copyright.PENANAzds6z08UUn
49Please respect copyright.PENANAdVpk9ZBgpa
他還是不太懂死亡是怎麼回事,但死了的話,就不用回去挨打。49Please respect copyright.PENANAzeuAcBoGOh
49Please respect copyright.PENANACRuNV6Dr45
嫡夫人之所以沒立刻讓他死,只是因為老夫人顧忌著沒有嫡孫承嗣而不允而已。49Please respect copyright.PENANATDjSR9osxW
49Please respect copyright.PENANAaMhB8UGm57
這樣活著,有什麼意義呢?49Please respect copyright.PENANA5JPSRpESD4
49Please respect copyright.PENANAHDywXKWSyo
黎絳洵和他很像,說不定他會懂該怎麼避開這種命運,說不定可以問他自己可以怎麼做,即便不能,也許黎絳洵能告訴他怎麼徹底死去,好讓他能去找生母和童叔叔。49Please respect copyright.PENANAmKagJCGeND
49Please respect copyright.PENANAfaZlKb8aDE
思緒百轉千迴,言曇岫緊緊揪住黎絳洵的袖子,顫著聲音說:「我不想回去。」49Please respect copyright.PENANAZuLKK75ptp
49Please respect copyright.PENANAFij8QuUV6C
「你……」黎絳洵似乎是覺得麻煩,看上去不太樂意搭理言曇岫,可是滂沱的大雨,絲毫沒有要減弱甚至放晴的打算。49Please respect copyright.PENANA6a71iT7FjO
49Please respect copyright.PENANA2bQvNDybJ1
「男女授受不親,現在屋中只我一人,於姑娘閨譽有損,姑娘請離開,去別處吧。我這裡不方便讓你避雨。」49Please respect copyright.PENANAV0quBJ4CuQ
49Please respect copyright.PENANA5BESIW2RhR
言曇岫不曉得怎麼將想法付諸言語,他只能搖頭說:「不是避雨,我從言府過來……」49Please respect copyright.PENANAWwzdaNh7N2
49Please respect copyright.PENANA536zQIC1dm
黎絳洵望著天色喃喃一句:「退婚也不需要趕著大雨來吧。」49Please respect copyright.PENANASEQsK7uiAV
49Please respect copyright.PENANAOEjaG6G7bZ
言曇岫想說話,想讓黎絳洵允許他留下,雨水只是一直滴落,阻撓他開口。49Please respect copyright.PENANAqDcmdlemb1
49Please respect copyright.PENANAKjPjm226B9
黎絳洵嘆了口氣,拿起傘說:「我只有一柄傘,不過鄰居離得遠,應該不會看見你進來,你拿了更帖,等雨一停,馬上離開。」49Please respect copyright.PENANAKYLU3wqqv6
49Please respect copyright.PENANAZzCqj04w93
「我不、不離開……」49Please respect copyright.PENANARnsZdTuOtZ
49Please respect copyright.PENANA48T0ML4U0w
「和我這種人牽扯上關係做什麼?黎家已經敗落了,你也是因此才來退婚的,怎麼不明白?」49Please respect copyright.PENANAsxVNsG20cd
49Please respect copyright.PENANAOiyRwBm625
言曇岫雖然心裡著急,然而疼痛以外,瞬間的頭重腳輕更是拖著他下墜,還以為自己會摔倒,再睜眼時,卻發現自己在黎絳洵懷裡。49Please respect copyright.PENANAviQv38M5sO
49Please respect copyright.PENANAj3j5S2FjOY
黎絳洵的呼吸沉甸甸地,宛如不歇的嘆息,「姑娘怎麼稱呼?」49Please respect copyright.PENANAqVRKfef1cR
49Please respect copyright.PENANAlQPXxs1L40
「言、言曇……」言曇岫緊抓住黎絳洵衣襟,也沒了一次將名字說清楚的力氣。49Please respect copyright.PENANAGSZFsHVLky
49Please respect copyright.PENANA6JlSSGUF0a
「先進屋吧,等你休息好了再說。」49Please respect copyright.PENANAn4BLpRzOAr
49Please respect copyright.PENANAeByz0uOOBW
黎絳洵扶著言曇岫往屋裡走,言曇岫觸目所及是黎絳洵、以及撐在他頭上的傘,他不由得愣神,彷彿在看什麼稀世珍寶般捨不得挪開眼。49Please respect copyright.PENANAIPyK6FcYLf
49Please respect copyright.PENANABavU4Xj4FX
兩人進屋後,黎絳洵讓他先坐下,言曇岫小心打量簡陋的小屋。49Please respect copyright.PENANAJONstNxmGo
49Please respect copyright.PENANANHQBG9I9pC
靠牆的案上供著黎絳洵父母的牌位,言曇岫聽見黎絳洵說要去翻找給他替換的衣服,四顧只剩自己一人。49Please respect copyright.PENANA6GQmJwKp7U
49Please respect copyright.PENANALqf2LDArdj
童叔叔說過,人死後會有牌位,活著的人對著牌位向死去的人祈求願望,和向神明許願很相近。生母沒有牌位,生母對神明許的願望,也沒有實現。49Please respect copyright.PENANAM2jpY1ggOR
49Please respect copyright.PENANArVFPzCFdI0
對黎家的牌位祈願的話,會有不同結果嗎?49Please respect copyright.PENANADsTNTLyg8F
49Please respect copyright.PENANAiJLBL3oy9d
言曇岫起身,步履蹣跚地走過去,跪在案前,學生母說過的話,虔誠默禱:「如上蒼有靈,求萬天神靈,讓我能離開原本的煉獄。如黎家主人願意,請寬恕我的冒犯,我……要是我能留下,我會對黎公子很好、很好,比嫡姊能做的更好,只求黎公子不要趕我走。」49Please respect copyright.PENANATnPzzqLlwu
49Please respect copyright.PENANADbmstjMocL
祈求結束後,言曇岫一時站不起來,只能席地而坐,不知何時回來的黎絳洵將乾淨的衣服給他,讓他先替換。49Please respect copyright.PENANA2kDULdUOa0
49Please respect copyright.PENANAGDQ2mhRkG5
言曇岫艱難按照黎絳洵的話,在隔壁的房間換好衣服後,怯生生地回到椅子上坐好。49Please respect copyright.PENANAvKzoocaxLf
49Please respect copyright.PENANAtfto8Dut5Z
黎絳洵問:「所以你親自過來,除了退婚以外,還想要什麼?」49Please respect copyright.PENANAn4LFx6E3WG
49Please respect copyright.PENANAQA3tvg26t9
言曇岫小心翼翼地偷覷看著他處的黎絳洵說:「請問、黎公子能和我成婚嗎?」49Please respect copyright.PENANAy5U6P0fsXJ
49Please respect copyright.PENANAMwymWC12xz
「你要……和我結縭?為什麼?」49Please respect copyright.PENANAYnlR1Wi5EM
49Please respect copyright.PENANAyZnAUcDaI4
「我不想走,我想待在這裡。」49Please respect copyright.PENANAYuFstp7mL4
49Please respect copyright.PENANAsAa2zhL4wA
黎絳洵總算將視線放在他身上,似乎原本想說什麼,片刻後轉向案上父母的牌位。49Please respect copyright.PENANAGP8FgLJTg1
49Please respect copyright.PENANAGTmI5rCV0l
言曇岫不住緊張地在心裡繼續祈禱。49Please respect copyright.PENANAwoja9huVjH
49Please respect copyright.PENANAFvRrzdvd5N
黎絳洵仔細打量著言曇岫,散亂的潮濕髮絲披肩,身上沒有任何飾品,惶惶無措的神色──看上去並不似在開玩笑,而要嫁自己的理由,黎絳洵也不是真的在乎。49Please respect copyright.PENANAjpMg4hzmIK
49Please respect copyright.PENANATASAP4tfhJ
「言小姐,我能問你,你剛才和先父、先母說了什麼嗎?」49Please respect copyright.PENANAFoUKBkPMCh
49Please respect copyright.PENANA3gCsLZpCgL
言小姐?黎絳洵以為自己是嫡姊嗎?49Please respect copyright.PENANACkEyBbieal
49Please respect copyright.PENANALHkRcMkEG8
他應該要澄清,應該要把話說開,可是終於開口,卻聽見自己說:「只要能留下,我會很努力,對黎公子很好、很好的。」49Please respect copyright.PENANAat6LztXvp2
49Please respect copyright.PENANAzKsGkCsttU
黎絳洵仍舊冷著臉,突然起身時,言曇岫感覺心臟像要從嗓子眼裡跳出來一樣,只能害怕地緊閉雙眼。49Please respect copyright.PENANAKCT2WuwJ4b
49Please respect copyright.PENANA61NOUxb7Lp
……黎絳洵沒有要打他嗎?49Please respect copyright.PENANAQkX967f44A
49Please respect copyright.PENANAAcYjiY9jnS
言曇岫戰戰兢兢地睜開眼,只見黎絳洵配合他的高度屈膝,將言曇岫用力攫住衣料的手指慢慢拉開,平靜地說:「我不拒絕你,不用這樣。」49Please respect copyright.PENANA1FYHgGsOIC
49Please respect copyright.PENANA71jD4LLtID
「你是說、你願意嗎?」言曇岫瞠大雙眼問。49Please respect copyright.PENANAFo7mjxmT1p
49Please respect copyright.PENANARH7UiqzO87
「可以。」49Please respect copyright.PENANAkLHV9BGzk6
49Please respect copyright.PENANAGHUdA0rL5c
黎絳洵答應的時候,眼瞳仍是沒有波動,不像是要成親的人。49Please respect copyright.PENANAIqjWQEMxpS
49Please respect copyright.PENANAfdD5Kcy8Oh
言曇岫雖然困惑,因為他原先以為成親事件讓人開心的事情,黎絳洵卻沒有半分笑意,可是向來對他人反應敏感的言曇岫,在黎絳洵身上也並未感受到負面情緒以及惡意。49Please respect copyright.PENANAXGgBtouiW3
49Please respect copyright.PENANAnd0QrKJ4zc
待到雨停,黎絳洵問他婚禮想怎麼辦,言曇岫試圖回想,只記得好像需要一塊紅布,蓋在新娘子頭上,還有拜堂,以及洞房。49Please respect copyright.PENANAgI7ZOCcPSj
49Please respect copyright.PENANAa27gJFKZjq
言曇岫遲疑地回答他記得的部分,黎絳洵只是:「嗯。」了聲,言曇岫也不確定自己記得的對不對,也沒來得及問黎絳洵,黎絳洵讓他等等,就拿著傘出門了。49Please respect copyright.PENANA2LV2NaUzZe
49Please respect copyright.PENANAtV4DqvEfUk
黎絳洵回來的時候,言曇岫朝他跑去,緊緊抱著他的腰,彷彿他離開了很久。49Please respect copyright.PENANAfsBkKdqUdP
49Please respect copyright.PENANAbu2ntjR4Co
黎絳洵拿著向鄰居借來的紅布,蓋在懷中言曇岫頭上。49Please respect copyright.PENANAymrJ10iOyg
49Please respect copyright.PENANAGWaQgnoHhM
他們向外一拜天地,是烏雲遍布的天,朝內二拜高堂,是黎絳洵父母的牌位,夫妻對拜時,言曇岫扯著黎絳洵的袖子,小小聲地說著:「不要趕我走。」49Please respect copyright.PENANAdGxApRjKSj
49Please respect copyright.PENANAw4mTaO38BK
黎絳洵回應的聲音隔著紅布,他聽不清。49Please respect copyright.PENANAqeqv8q36vz
49Please respect copyright.PENANATt4059CEhB
簡陋到幾乎沒有意義的婚禮就這樣結束,黎絳洵牽著言曇岫坐在床上,雙手掀開紅布後,只交代讓言曇岫好好休息。49Please respect copyright.PENANADYeNNNV2h8
49Please respect copyright.PENANAlDlkUmbtAn
黎絳洵去整理從黎家大宅中帶出來的東西後,言曇岫因為過於緊張而很快脫力倒在床上睡著,淋了雨且不曾真的吃飽過的孱弱身子,在他放鬆後發起了燒49Please respect copyright.PENANAwJuXsF0dk1
49Please respect copyright.PENANAscrkguKE8A
言曇岫醒來時已經退燒了,只剩下軟綿綿的身體以及倦怠感,提醒著那些難受是因為染上風寒。言曇岫睜開眼後,第一眼看見的是門前的樹梢,樹梢上的花在雨中被打落了大半,卻生出嫩綠的新芽;第二眼看見黎絳洵,對言曇岫而言,這讓他十分困惑,有人照顧自己,根本是不可能發生的事情。49Please respect copyright.PENANAsCqnZTnFsW
49Please respect copyright.PENANA86Atb0x6Sy
但黎絳洵確實碰了碰他的額頭,並且讓他喝下味道噁心的湯藥。49Please respect copyright.PENANAwmwDQnB2dE
49Please respect copyright.PENANAFEc4uymPok
童叔叔說過,生病就要吃苦藥,才能快些好起來。49Please respect copyright.PENANAjJuNFfabOl
49Please respect copyright.PENANA67VW0mRCrn
只要成親,就有人對自己很好了嗎?言曇岫不明白,在黎絳洵要離開房間前,言曇岫拉住黎絳洵的手說:「謝謝。」49Please respect copyright.PENANAZj5b01niDy
49Please respect copyright.PENANAZlNwNCEPfX
黎絳洵還是不說話,言曇岫放手後,不知不覺中,又睡了過去。49Please respect copyright.PENANAAY8AlYNH4w
49Please respect copyright.PENANAZ92uLGXO3a
可能因為黎絳洵也沒照顧過人,跟鄰居問了幾次,隔壁嬸子知道了新搬來的黎絳洵家中有病人,古道熱腸地仔細教黎絳洵該怎麼做、病人才好得快。49Please respect copyright.PENANAaaTVwWuHh6
49Please respect copyright.PENANAWm87BJWeIS
言曇岫養好病後,環視著這個家,感覺自己做過的家務並不足以提供經驗,他想讓黎絳洵過得比自己好,於是鼓足勇氣,敲了鄰居的門。49Please respect copyright.PENANANup579UKjv
49Please respect copyright.PENANAr3ODI0aFwH
靠著隔壁嬸子和幾位鄰里的幫襯,言曇岫也逐漸上手了家務,很快就能反過來提前做好家務,甚至照顧黎絳洵。49Please respect copyright.PENANAAgzXjyJAKh
49Please respect copyright.PENANA1qnftTatKr
這裡不比言府,多是平實人家,說是鄰里,彼此的屋子之間也隔得遠,不過由於言曇岫後來為了報答鄰居,經常在空餘時間去各家間幫忙,即便黎絳洵沒和任何人交際,也給鄰里留了個好印象。49Please respect copyright.PENANAaV0uc9TrF7
49Please respect copyright.PENANA0ZedSefXek
相比於言曇岫漸漸因為多和人來往,而能流暢的說話;黎絳洵總是冷冰冰的,不太開口,偶爾被煩得狠了,也不會大聲罵人。49Please respect copyright.PENANAXUN8x7aODZ
49Please respect copyright.PENANAviRDuTGqTZ
言曇岫知道黎絳洵並沒有討厭自己,只是黎絳洵的想法,他也沒個底。49Please respect copyright.PENANAtbhL427ubF
49Please respect copyright.PENANAAdYXj26KPV
雨季結束後,溫度很快便轉涼。由於體弱的關係,言曇岫很怕天氣變冷,他總是想,黎絳洵睡的那張簡易床榻,不知道會不會不夠暖,幾次把比較厚的被子蓋在黎絳洵身上,睡醒時,在溫暖被窩裡的都是自己。49Please respect copyright.PENANAvwDJ6D5E2T
49Please respect copyright.PENANAiT8hcpAqlk
過於寒冷的夜裡,黎絳洵在半夜醒來時,本要將厚被子給言曇岫蓋上,就回自己床上,只是月色下的言曇岫睡得不安穩,夢囈連連,坐在床沿的黎絳洵低頭看言曇岫無意識緊握著自己的手,他輕輕拍撫言曇岫,直到自己也睏了,打算先躺著休息片刻,等言曇岫熟睡了,他再離開。49Please respect copyright.PENANAV9MCRWsL2s
49Please respect copyright.PENANAogQbreKkdq
迷迷糊糊中,黎絳洵沒有推開縮在懷裡的言曇岫,就這樣捱過了冬夜。49Please respect copyright.PENANA7hT7N8JRkU
49Please respect copyright.PENANAPPxOE6rORQ
因為黎絳洵的懷抱太溫暖,言曇岫捨不得放手,反而怕天氣再次變化後,黎絳洵又要分床睡,他在一日比一日加劇的依戀中,還是壓抑著害臊,向相熟的大娘們問起怎麼樣才能丈夫更離不開自己一點。49Please respect copyright.PENANAP594lXlJ21
49Please respect copyright.PENANAsDbVop0pYe
從大家七嘴八舌的熱烈討論中,言曇岫總結起來,應該就是要對黎絳洵更好,於是他更加在意起一些細節,讓黎絳洵不需要擔心其他事情,吃飽穿暖之餘,乾淨的屋子,整潔的桌案,他盡力做著所有能做的事。49Please respect copyright.PENANA6GfkU45Gvq
49Please respect copyright.PENANAY2kZqIfpVz
言曇岫替在邑庠當夫子的黎絳洵送傘時,黎絳洵讓他晚點一起回去,歸家途中黎絳洵刻意走在他前面,為他擋下冷風,被鄰居大娘看見,揶揄他好一陣子。49Please respect copyright.PENANAAHqP2FY5qi
49Please respect copyright.PENANAOOwlweP80Q
黎絳洵說他做的菜好吃,言曇岫也不太明白什麼是好吃,只努力維持著黎絳洵喜歡的口味,有一天黎絳洵帶了紅豆餅回來給他,香香甜甜的,他似乎有些懂了,這就是喜歡嗎?言曇岫問黎絳洵:「既然喜歡和相思的意思一樣,相思豆和紅豆一樣嗎?」黎絳洵沒說話,只是拍了拍他的頭,後來偶爾也會給他帶香甜的小食回來,不過言曇岫覺得自己可能還是最喜歡從黎絳洵手中接過紅豆餅。49Please respect copyright.PENANAoLS4EYvvHx
49Please respect copyright.PENANAGXuVTpH9LM
還有黎絳洵雖然意外言曇岫不識字,也沒有多問,反而耐心教他識字,扶著他的手,教他寫字。言曇岫不知道為什麼,黎絳洵專注的模樣,讓自己容易走神,心裡的惶惶不安,不斷增長成參天大樹:要是黎絳洵知道他不是嫡姊,這些都會失去嗎……?49Please respect copyright.PENANAj3kGAbW8ji
49Please respect copyright.PENANA1Ew4gKnqax
想讓他知道真實的自己是什麼樣子。49Please respect copyright.PENANAMygIEAYP3J
49Please respect copyright.PENANAotaw0SLdaT
這種想法逐漸主導他,他經常不意間提及自己以往的事情,半真半假地合理化自己不像嫡出小姐原因,只是黎絳洵似乎無論他說什麼,都沒在意過。49Please respect copyright.PENANAStnDZck5dE
49Please respect copyright.PENANAPhLxxIL3rg
黎絳洵生辰那天,門前樹下,言曇岫抱著膝蓋,偏頭看身邊的黎絳洵,黎絳洵慢慢喝著村長送的粗酒,微紅的臉頰上,眼裡有光,大概是月光照進酒水,再彈進了黎絳洵眼裡。言曇岫沒忍住,順從衝動,按著黎絳洵的肩膀,第一次吻他,第一次看見黎絳洵笑。49Please respect copyright.PENANAL4TGlk812c
49Please respect copyright.PENANAQJSSoGBaEE
原來心旌搖曳,也原來念念不忘,在意,喜歡──陌生的正向情緒,是這樣令人眷戀。49Please respect copyright.PENANA7O8eItSJIt
49Please respect copyright.PENANAvMr44BxVtS
平凡恬淡的日子緩緩過著,黎絳洵對他越來越好,人人都說他們更像夫妻了,這讓言曇岫很開心,吃席時也不由自主喝了點酒,很快就醉了,對黎絳洵笑得一臉傻氣,黎絳洵拍他或者輕捏他,他都沒酒醒的意思,散席後,黎絳洵沒辦法,只能揹起正在胡言亂語的言曇岫回家。言曇岫說他像月光,想把星星捧到他身邊,又說讓黎絳洵不要討嫌他,不要趕他走,黎絳洵只能耐心一句句應了。49Please respect copyright.PENANAzLl1E6bPvw
49Please respect copyright.PENANAFsocVQ3pBv
回到房中後,黎絳洵將言曇岫放在床邊,就要離開,言曇岫卻倏地拉住黎絳洵,睜著霧氣濛濛的眼,認真跟他說:「聽說夫妻都要一起睡的。不能分床。感情會散。」黎絳洵拿他沒轍,只能無奈地答應了。49Please respect copyright.PENANAhVSnno2nr1
49Please respect copyright.PENANA3oTP8AVrTU
那之後他們才開始同榻而眠。49Please respect copyright.PENANA7oXNT837br
49Please respect copyright.PENANAYtF4CdqTsv
還有、還有好多事情,比如後來黎絳洵總算能為黎家平反,比如黎絳洵要當父母官了,比如……黎絳洵在言曇岫的視線中逐漸模糊,但言曇岫知道黎絳洵仍然在聽,那些過往,明明很珍惜,很珍惜和黎絳洵在一起的二十年,細節沒辦法記得很清楚,只有見到黎絳洵的時候,自己永遠會心生歡喜這件事,始終不改。49Please respect copyright.PENANAZ1MpdeACol
49Please respect copyright.PENANAjuNoFRUArx
二十年,其實很長了,超過他人生的一半了,可是黎絳洵覺得不夠,軟聲央求他再多留一下子。49Please respect copyright.PENANA7jXmWMv0cI
49Please respect copyright.PENANAfckHJOAaPf
黎絳洵給的真心,有時都讓言曇岫懷疑,其實黎絳洵早就看穿了他蹩腳的謊言,可是他記得黎絳洵說,如果真的騙了他,那就永遠不要坦誠,所以言曇岫仍舊沒說出口。49Please respect copyright.PENANAmD8PTQ6C6T
49Please respect copyright.PENANAY4WGAnZ3KP
曾經最討厭的冬天,在黎絳洵身邊,只餘下暖融融的喜悅,想必即便是見著了北方的風雪,只要有黎絳洵,自己也不會像過去有冷到疼痛的感覺吧。49Please respect copyright.PENANA7tOr8IHAfK
49Please respect copyright.PENANAbefAnp9P48
曾經沉默寡言的黎絳洵如今說了很多的話,說要實現他的願望、說他還沒帶他去看雪的時候,言曇岫有聽見的,只是已經沒有力氣回答。49Please respect copyright.PENANAkPOKieVIUa
49Please respect copyright.PENANAS0CAv9LdcF
聽過迴光返照一說,不過,或許他等不到了,要是還能多和黎絳洵說上幾句話,那多好啊。49Please respect copyright.PENANADVbr8B9uMV
49Please respect copyright.PENANA5eqZpCu79M
言曇岫想說:「我想要的不是看雪,是待在你身邊。」49Please respect copyright.PENANA0FZaUkXk6a
49Please respect copyright.PENANAv1Km61AuBl
「謝謝你讓我留下,還有──」49Please respect copyright.PENANASHga3knbw3
49Please respect copyright.PENANAS3jqG8N8H8
「謝謝你成為我的光。」49Please respect copyright.PENANApJH0iYmnEr
49Please respect copyright.PENANApSK1bLRBMp
剩下的願望埋藏在心裡,隨意識消逝,終於不用再忍著說出口的衝動。49Please respect copyright.PENANAipnVV0PY69
49Please respect copyright.PENANAYepPNIduWu
──希望以後有個人比我更愛你。如果我死了之後,也能成全你的願望,我希望有人比我更愛你,對你很好、很好,讓你更加、更加地幸福。49Please respect copyright.PENANAn3oY5FVjfi
49Please respect copyright.PENANAav0neFYVxr
49Please respect copyright.PENANAhmQEXQvYRT