表叔一家人當年係家族入面都算係令人聞風喪膽既恐怖人物。795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfynjq8O3Cs
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJRiiwdzWXX
要講番佢地既威水事蹟實在太多不能盡錄，但只可以講既係，有佢地呢家四口出現既地方，一定會寸草不生。795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxh0GPxR4Aa
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFYIfBR1q9
當你以為人地問你有冇女朋友，月入幾多已經夠mean，夠哂hardfeeling個時，表叔母已經係進化到問你幾時請飲，有冇樓。咁樣其實咪同細舅母差唔多level姐？795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBLJpGnkyUa
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0e3dz9HiFE
錯呀！！！795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVhvGi3gpOA
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW7yR5ofE6Z
細舅母只會對住我地呢班近親先會咁口多，但係呢家人係咩人面前都會咁樣唔理人地感受，最恐怖既一點係佢地永遠會搵地方踩到你。795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmF5DcXNmfp
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0vas1BGFaq
仲記得當初阿均成功入到醫學院時姨丈係大既家族group到報喜，但係當人人都係到恭喜前、congra後時，呢個時候表叔母居然會打句「做醫生第日實搵好多喇」黎破壞個氣氛。795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj2ZZCXB1R7
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2X6HmhyqNT
然後每次家族聚會時佢都會私底下同其他遠房係到講阿均成家人都係勢利眼，咁高分就只係識揀醫黎讀，淨係識向錢看。795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVMVY7dOWx6
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDzyUuYyCSI
但佢卻唔知道阿均當年係睇完醫龍而去選擇讀bio，然後咁多年苦讀只係為左做一次龍太郎。我仲記得當年阿均中二病到成日袋甜品係衫，想要盡力咁樣復原呢個角色，結果而家成為左唔可以提既黑歷史。795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLYgoEJ1nkw
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFxciE9LZB7
而當佢個大女係佢拆磨之下辛苦考入到UCL之後，佢地更加會肆無忌憚咁大聲講：「港大醫學院有咩咁叻呢，有能力既緊係去外國讀名牌大學喇。」795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6bWBIQhoHo
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrtbUD2zT5K
另外，佢地個細仔當初辛苦咁俾佢地逼入喇沙之後佢地就不時係到撩事鬥非，周圍同親戚問長問短要起人底，所有band1非名校既中學係佢地眼中都會顯得低賤。直到佢踩中讀緊皇仁既表哥同埋st paul男女既表妹，先肯停手。795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjUxlFa3hJn
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡod4FFzBQGQ
仲有當初表妹小心咁收埋既地底情唔小心俾佢地個女係中央溫書時撞破，阿姨同姨丈都未嬲，表叔同表叔母就已經唱通街，講到單純既puppy love好似好淫亂既一件事，有必要大叫一聲「成何體統」咁樣。個時甚至加鹽加醋到話連初吻都未失既表妹已經失左身，撞破既地點由中央變左做賓館門口。795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0tRMFUIOFe
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFgQLcKQSEz
記得阿姨初頭聽完嬲到想同佢地嘈交，但係俾姨丈叫停先放低件事。795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmlofKtfCj1
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYTo8GGaRMw
「隻狗咬你，唔通你又要咬番隻狗轉頭？」平時唔多講野既姨丈語出驚人，或者就係佢呢種態度先令佢可以咁成功。795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ77CPtZgcsf
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV31N3lzMqi
而我地卻唔知道個時表叔連續幫公司失去左幾大客戶，到底同呢件事有冇關。795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqXnHLOJAvU
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡchAIXYJNbN
長年累月落黎既爭執使到表叔一家人就已經同婆婆呢一脈有上牙齒印，佢地咁多年黎都唔會放過攻擊我地既機會。795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtvSAsxHfds
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPj95PE0TZ1
不過對象都慢慢由難對付既大舅一家、細舅母一家同姨丈一家轉到我身上。795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTikZ110A5e
見到好似死神咁樣行緊埋黎準備要收割我生命既表叔同表叔母，我心入面有啲不安。795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9hSdvH5XWB
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXI1rZfGJ2W
一直以黎媽子同老豆對我都係實行緊呢一套放牧式育兒法，好記得老豆當初同我講溫室小花唔襟撞，要我學識一個人去闖下，唔可以成日靠沙維小白。795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXcgE7Joqxr
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj5H2C5Xy19
但係老豆呀，波呢樣野不嬲都係十一條友踢架喇，家陣你要我一個人落場，我真係難啲以寡敵眾呀呢。795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSuGsrKnCek
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqdOmsrBSzr
我拋出求救既眼神，老豆同媽子互相對望之後都係冇踏上前打救我。795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUwrV3wUD63
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEej4pK191Y
正當呢個時候，手心傳來一陣溫暖。795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAKMqguISev
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ckGksy2MZ
好似感覺到我既不安，Tiffany本來同我虛握緊既手突然間捉實左我，我感覺佢我地兩人既手指交疊，十指緊扣。795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdsmE5NXb21
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIoFrytxbVQ
我望一望身邊既佢，Tiffany兩隻圓滾滾既雙目望住我：「有我陪你。」795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsUaNbjRWyN
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqK1vQus0IF
「仔，記唔記得老豆當初教你踢波既口訣。」呢個時候，老豆突然插把口。795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGDatKmiCBL
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwvQlM6KIm7
咁多次，我點記得呀！！！795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Y4Cf5nnG0
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnH50JciAOP
然後我望到老豆身邊既媽子突然用手作勢，畫左個圓形。795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEdv2g1RMt6
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyxBrxbUfvr
屌！！！795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTTTAaaVDQK
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHXUkeDfoCE
你地要幫我既話，唔該俾提示俾明顯啲呀大佬！！！795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLqVNkbEqmA
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfg2HbGjjop
「麥包最叻係咩？」老豆好似冇眼睇，直接係到點明我。795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4GGR7rryfF
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡte4ggNb3Iy
然後我見到媽子好似覺得我好冇悟性咁樣低左低頭，佢心入面一定係諗緊：「如果唔係阿雅係到，我都賴得幫你搵番幾分面子。」795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVfIhhzHAG6
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7C6DtgyB7j
媽子個手勢隱若間好似畫緊個圖示咁．．．圓中間分兩邊？795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0jHrkYQXaL
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV1XuaZn5AK
「快，屈速！太極，借力打力！」我腦海入面突然出現左呢幾隻字。795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9TTu5JVo0t
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5sZwbb3Ls5
有了——795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7TTiZObYEI
呢個時候我已經明白左老豆同媽子想要我做既事。795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoaOXZynCVl
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtKXUt5hRrE
天下武功，無堅不摧，唯快不破。795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzAzpxGmMtI
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcMQnYMEBWG
我地呢一房所有親戚都凝神屏氣咁望住我，準備睇我點樣應對佢地。795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcL0rU3raCd
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWu3Kwymy6U
正當表叔同表叔母行埋我面前時，只見係佢地出口前我已經先發制人：「噫～～乜呢四位唔係就係表叔、表叔母、你地個女阿婷同阿輝咩！咁齊人番黎探我地呀，食唔慣英國米，屙壞肚呀？」795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAIs1UWTkBs
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ZfmPLAFxo
「食就一定食得慣架喇，我地血統入面天生就係Britishhhh~~~唔似你咁有住野蠻人既血脈！」阿婷答道。795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlqUO26osUK
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6LMEzUXhKA
表叔先派出兩個仔女先打頭陣。795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5HLCoANhTB
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Bjd00wrBn
「唔係呀，我記得阿輝仔係97年7月1打後先出世架，不過其實血統就唔關咩年份出世既事，呢啲野關遺傳事既。」我望一望表叔同表叔母。795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3qDnJJjUB9
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBXpD3Y4iA3
「你．．．你．．．你——！」阿輝本來想還拖，但係發現自己根本駁唔到，因此佢直接用聲東擊西。795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8l47HvKtiz
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ojMz0gKbq
「你你你你，冇名你叫架？你漏口我地唔會怪你，畢竟唔係你既錯，但係你漏口又要出黎獻醜就係你既錯。」我義正詞嚴咁對住阿輝講。795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4CdIGeN565
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM19TXDgguy
「阿．．．家．．．家姐，佢．．．佢蝦．．．蝦我！」年紀未到十八既阿輝用左小朋友最慣用既退場方式。795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQVieskcYc7
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF2r9IcYqWp
「算喇，其實食唔飽冇力講野都會有咁既後果。唔係喇，你地係咪連米都冇得食所以先番黎？」795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ57JOJOvTKm
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnHfMI4QlXE
如果係外國撈到風生水氣佢地鬼會捨得番黎咩，貪香港租貴定係污染指數越黎越高定係租金就黎去到全球第一呀？795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0QizwIGy8T
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDsR86TuXgh
「你就冇得食，我地餐餐大魚大肉呀！」憤怒既阿婷反咬一口。795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjIBv8NSxL9
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3iXfK5MTwe
「我都睇得出既，你個樣同個look話左俾我知喇。」795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ4uv3oLSHM
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKoIpKjhdnv
我遮遮口笑道：「估唔到去左外國之後，你都依舊係著番大碼，不過今次係鬼婆大碼咁解喇！」795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡycyn7dbpB6
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCwCFRJuAlu
「阿！！！」一擊分生死，阿婷同阿輝直接俾我擊倒退場。795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbNz9gHdpvj
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOQhq9b6ne6
我冇用任何一隻粗口就已經可以將佢地嚇退，除左要多謝Tiffany俾我既勇氣，更加要多謝台服英雄聯盟咁多位玩家教識我鬧人既技巧。795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtdU1YdpmmB
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSEM4yLGCYi
呢個時候表叔同表叔母意識到唔多對路，呢個明仔比起五年前要強得太多，唔知佢到底經過咩事？795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeYjJ1W1rsI
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡklBImcx70C
哼，我笑左笑。795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhGrgDU13BA
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQgFDn1oVpW
佢地係唔會明白我既經歷，我英雄聯盟既成就唔係好似普通人咁打排位升分衝鑽石，我係可以連鑽石積分都唔要，只要人地一開口問我屋企人，我就會企定定係到同佢討論人生討論到榮譽等級歸零既人。795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡipaaqGcP2M
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ZsHFSPgph
除此而外，係建築業打混左成年，我已經慢慢學識左更多更高層次既攻擊手段，係工作中向每一位senior學習，佢地都有自己一套獨特既mean人方式，有別於地盤工友個直黎直去既放狗咬人式屌人，坐係office既每一位senior都係一條毒蛇——795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJL8hWx9JCg
795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡASB1J0WD2R
不屌則已，一屌驚人。795Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9g7OpKCIma
