[bgm music to read to]
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGHr7B9zTTi
"I don't remember myself being this pathetic before...522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ24SAdpeBQe
I have no motivation left to try, I don't have any patience left in me...522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrULGYEdvMm
I feel like I'm becoming more and more useless each day.522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6XDmpKy5m1
And I know that i don't even try, but I get so anxious when I think about exams..."522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡujMpArHuOc
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCfOVIhmwmV
"I'm scared of being left behind... forever."522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNWYGRhJuta
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYgaO2Mj4Hf
"I'm scared that I might give up on myself."
Have I already given up on myself?
"It's rough, it's lonely... and I don't see a way out."
"Time waits for no one."
"I don't have the willpower to change, and I'm a master at justifying myself." 522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFM8X0sHtlU
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP7lrQAnLOn
But...522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgSSyXpuxjs
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi1TG74UFn0
"We all have our ups and downs. We're human. It's incredibly hard to be consistent, since we're not machines (ISTJs go brrrr though). As long as we think, we'll keep on making excuses for ourselves... and that's normal. Everyone does it. 522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRg49sM1iOJ
At the end of the day, you're worrying and thinking about your own future. 522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkXnqRnE8eK
A person who thinks about changes, and is willing to change...522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMHCVkMY45g
Is absolutely not pathetic.522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLPFP2DC9JQ
You're not garbage."522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3vW9u1d7nJ
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBNttPuAw0u
"Being strong enough to get up and fight every day is a special talent. You never know, there might be someone very close to you doing it... just for you."
I know I don't work very hard, but I hate being told that more than almost everything. I hate it when my parents remind me that I've done nothing. I hate it when they tell me to do work. Stupid, isn't it?
I once told my parents that I would continue to feel inferior, worthless and unsuccessful if I don't make a decent salary in a few years. You know what they said?522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTqyKoe7C7N
"It's okay. You don't need to make money. You can live under our our roof forever."522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUL3rEAYdEv
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOqDMwvN8wk
I don't want that though. Despite everything, I want to live by my own efforts. I'm a mess, yet I don't want anyone's help. I mean, I can ask for help when I need it, but...522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ZaVlPTSXL
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5VxgJF27AR
Sorry, mum. Nothing's working out for you huh?522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxs1vNYOhiw
You wasted all your money on all the sports, instruments, tutoring lessons on your son. 522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe8b85T18we
Your son didn’t meet all your expectations.522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVRnsrCTHlv
Your son doesn't want to get married.522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ03UuRCLVNY
Your son might just end up a broke loser on the street.522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXfRvLonROS
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsHA0wTFEIv
You know, you paid thousands of dollars for my overnight contact lenses, only for me to be too lazy to wear it.522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9DvQD7NNI6
You paid another thousand for me to do that Duke of Edinburgh challenge, though I never submitted my report and ended up never getting the certification. I still never told you... to this day.
Sorry, dad. 522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqjLNw0t2RM
I know I said I'd pay you back for everything you've given to me, but I don't know if I can.
I might just be the worthless child you tried so hard to prevent me being.
Hahaha.
I'm sorry, I'm just a coward, so I just want to run away. Take the easy way out.522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyjhjXRYdSq
I'm scared of failing, so.
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpkxyJCYh8Q
But today, too, I'm still alive. So even though I've accomplished nothing, even when it looks like there's no escape, I'll keep going. I have to keep going. I'll finish my degree. If I get a full-time job, so be it. If I don't, then that's fine. I might regret it. But at the end of the day, I'm alive. No matter how afraid I am for tomorrow, I'll have to face it. The main thing keeping me unhappy... is me.
Thanks for loving me. I'm sorry I can't love you back as of now, or maybe for a long time to come. But maybe one day, I will.522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhbT24JY8us
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcwixYnbViV
Sincerely,522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZ29pZLlV0
Your son Charlie.522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJEr5u0PYA
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5AqI3uFq4I
P.S. Screw you sis /j.522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgNbTHJCRqJ
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgSCaZyB063
[I remembered the existence of this song midway through writing this]522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQOvq3Vy3Fv
... And on a whim, I sent a voice message containing all of this to my parents (it's 3am right now, but my parents are on vacation elsewhere). Saying it out loud is really something, huh.522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ9BOrCh2WW
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP2V5YkTRCv
My mother just sent me back a hug emoji and "goodnight" as it was the last word of my voice message as well. Not going to lie, I think that's the best thing she's ever said or texted. I wonder if she'll write a long paragraph or send a long voice message back later.
