[bgm music to read to]
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnpprvCJPxZ
"I don't remember myself being this pathetic before...673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmMJ7ikRofg
I have no motivation left to try, I don't have any patience left in me...673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKhLU6zYWqp
I feel like I'm becoming more and more useless each day.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcdJVZ8xS2s
And I know that i don't even try, but I get so anxious when I think about exams..."673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtPX3Jm7QdA
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXLX8cC7df0
"I'm scared of being left behind... forever."673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcSTDJHvqnX
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMYwpJoPS8X
"I'm scared that I might give up on myself."
Have I already given up on myself?
"It's rough, it's lonely... and I don't see a way out."
"Time waits for no one."
"I don't have the willpower to change, and I'm a master at justifying myself." 673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡclzze2Zc8n
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnkxHZ9H7ap
But...673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHCuwb290Cz
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN6f5D3VgKb
"We all have our ups and downs. We're human. It's incredibly hard to be consistent, since we're not machines (ISTJs go brrrr though). As long as we think, we'll keep on making excuses for ourselves... and that's normal. Everyone does it. 673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxWSD2ke0jf
At the end of the day, you're worrying and thinking about your own future. 673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFZSE3VKw6o
A person who thinks about changes, and is willing to change...673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ApPovZY7K
Is absolutely not pathetic.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqhV4l08zfx
You're not garbage."673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKlEEFKp9GC
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡptkuvAyYC7
"Being strong enough to get up and fight every day is a special talent. You never know, there might be someone very close to you doing it... just for you."
I know I don't work very hard, but I hate being told that more than almost everything. I hate it when my parents remind me that I've done nothing. I hate it when they tell me to do work. Stupid, isn't it?
I once told my parents that I would continue to feel inferior, worthless and unsuccessful if I don't make a decent salary in a few years. You know what they said?673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe1SNaObdMs
"It's okay. You don't need to make money. You can live under our our roof forever."673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUrNUEbF6kc
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyf0WQJmwQH
I don't want that though. Despite everything, I want to live by my own efforts. I'm a mess, yet I don't want anyone's help. I mean, I can ask for help when I need it, but...673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLdZUI2rYC1
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDZu1CpiM0v
Sorry, mum. Nothing's working out for you huh?673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmzkrVjOEuL
You wasted all your money on all the sports, instruments, tutoring lessons on your son. 673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP8vEE36xzc
Your son didn’t meet all your expectations.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL9FDhb7OY7
Your son doesn't want to get married.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXmRXmLb4pp
Your son might just end up a broke loser on the street.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQATDKHawp
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW7VOIpzqd1
You know, you paid thousands of dollars for my overnight contact lenses, only for me to be too lazy to wear it.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwIm4xsyXIb
You paid another thousand for me to do that Duke of Edinburgh challenge, though I never submitted my report and ended up never getting the certification. I still never told you... to this day.
Sorry, dad. 673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaSk9m0MWAF
I know I said I'd pay you back for everything you've given to me, but I don't know if I can.
I might just be the worthless child you tried so hard to prevent me being.
Hahaha.
I'm sorry, I'm just a coward, so I just want to run away. Take the easy way out.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAj3euQcaff
I'm scared of failing, so.
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ376eUh6F2a
But today, too, I'm still alive. So even though I've accomplished nothing, even when it looks like there's no escape, I'll keep going. I have to keep going. I'll finish my degree. If I get a full-time job, so be it. If I don't, then that's fine. I might regret it. But at the end of the day, I'm alive. No matter how afraid I am for tomorrow, I'll have to face it. The main thing keeping me unhappy... is me.
Thanks for loving me. I'm sorry I can't love you back as of now, or maybe for a long time to come. But maybe one day, I will.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡROPT8sh0T4
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡakpA76yXZ2
Sincerely,673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuPKHQWA2vN
Your son Charlie.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡClEDuyOjAU
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHnnDtmxujv
P.S. Screw you sis /j.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoj2etvQVUs
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlido8bm6eb
[I remembered the existence of this song midway through writing this]673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZUwr6n6i2
... And on a whim, I sent a voice message containing all of this to my parents (it's 3am right now, but my parents are on vacation elsewhere). Saying it out loud is really something, huh.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3CPJrH1nE5
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3JwpiHT6eU
My mother just sent me back a hug emoji and "goodnight" as it was the last word of my voice message as well. Not going to lie, I think that's the best thing she's ever said or texted. I wonder if she'll write a long paragraph or send a long voice message back later.
