[bgm music to read to]
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGOORTN2cgq
"I don't remember myself being this pathetic before...630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBa7D4ipdhc
I have no motivation left to try, I don't have any patience left in me...630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPt9Q55NIuC
I feel like I'm becoming more and more useless each day.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCfVb1eLBi0
And I know that i don't even try, but I get so anxious when I think about exams..."630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtPzv2B5H82
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9zk0cYcuVg
"I'm scared of being left behind... forever."630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFecZwHkLmr
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhotVR2BxuH
"I'm scared that I might give up on myself."
Have I already given up on myself?
"It's rough, it's lonely... and I don't see a way out."
"Time waits for no one."
"I don't have the willpower to change, and I'm a master at justifying myself." 630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU9IVzLJdjG
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlviw9dur4u
But...630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXiRczpRDC5
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9X4qXtV9LL
"We all have our ups and downs. We're human. It's incredibly hard to be consistent, since we're not machines (ISTJs go brrrr though). As long as we think, we'll keep on making excuses for ourselves... and that's normal. Everyone does it. 630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcF9rCa197M
At the end of the day, you're worrying and thinking about your own future. 630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK5TzGmXhPe
A person who thinks about changes, and is willing to change...630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡklqhSRbVys
Is absolutely not pathetic.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXEYUF5Ta0X
You're not garbage."630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtlzFuu8gxj
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVkZt9ax4nB
"Being strong enough to get up and fight every day is a special talent. You never know, there might be someone very close to you doing it... just for you."
I know I don't work very hard, but I hate being told that more than almost everything. I hate it when my parents remind me that I've done nothing. I hate it when they tell me to do work. Stupid, isn't it?
I once told my parents that I would continue to feel inferior, worthless and unsuccessful if I don't make a decent salary in a few years. You know what they said?630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbzAxTf8eul
"It's okay. You don't need to make money. You can live under our our roof forever."630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtoSOfeqU5k
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ27pCcaKAcd
I don't want that though. Despite everything, I want to live by my own efforts. I'm a mess, yet I don't want anyone's help. I mean, I can ask for help when I need it, but...630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡazQwYYshEI
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNA8qn9f6c1
Sorry, mum. Nothing's working out for you huh?630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtkFRhEtXHF
You wasted all your money on all the sports, instruments, tutoring lessons on your son. 630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKajX9zCTwb
Your son didn’t meet all your expectations.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCdWD1fBWWL
Your son doesn't want to get married.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwvLAVbOYWb
Your son might just end up a broke loser on the street.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbtAfifMBAh
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbm1WIK3f3N
You know, you paid thousands of dollars for my overnight contact lenses, only for me to be too lazy to wear it.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwjTy1uxd7h
You paid another thousand for me to do that Duke of Edinburgh challenge, though I never submitted my report and ended up never getting the certification. I still never told you... to this day.
Sorry, dad. 630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr2wXjpUKpB
I know I said I'd pay you back for everything you've given to me, but I don't know if I can.
I might just be the worthless child you tried so hard to prevent me being.
Hahaha.
I'm sorry, I'm just a coward, so I just want to run away. Take the easy way out.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBiNvyGJ6po
I'm scared of failing, so.
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeGhS8GiPqs
But today, too, I'm still alive. So even though I've accomplished nothing, even when it looks like there's no escape, I'll keep going. I have to keep going. I'll finish my degree. If I get a full-time job, so be it. If I don't, then that's fine. I might regret it. But at the end of the day, I'm alive. No matter how afraid I am for tomorrow, I'll have to face it. The main thing keeping me unhappy... is me.
Thanks for loving me. I'm sorry I can't love you back as of now, or maybe for a long time to come. But maybe one day, I will.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQdRSmdwDWe
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTp9iFXrgbY
Sincerely,630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxSNYMpI05
Your son Charlie.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc6RLy8CKBc
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjq905Oi3xo
P.S. Screw you sis /j.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKnpXcycf1c
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡisWH7S5EbU
[I remembered the existence of this song midway through writing this]630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJVI315JWxD
... And on a whim, I sent a voice message containing all of this to my parents (it's 3am right now, but my parents are on vacation elsewhere). Saying it out loud is really something, huh.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm9ZElVEjTY
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyYFGphTVLd
My mother just sent me back a hug emoji and "goodnight" as it was the last word of my voice message as well. Not going to lie, I think that's the best thing she's ever said or texted. I wonder if she'll write a long paragraph or send a long voice message back later.
