《我喺街執咗個失憶嘅女仔返屋企》 - 統測篇：天才與白痴

統測篇：天才與白痴

May 27, 2022

565

3 Mins Read

返到屋企，小悠已經返咗嚟。

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佢正以頭下腳上嘅姿勢攤喺梳化，手裏面拎住本文言文範文精讀。

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「阿帆！」佢對我揮手。

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「你咁早返到嚟嘅？仲要衫都換埋。」

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「今日芝芝要練choir，我咪自己返嚟溫書囉。」

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「都係你最乖，而家啲學生統測都唔溫書嘅。」我放低書包之後，拎咗本數學notes出嚟溫。

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「你講得啱呀！你知唔知張廷宇今日幾衰呀？佢話係低能先至連統測都要溫呀！」

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雖然唔想承認，但根據連日嚟嘅觀察，學校嘅測考氣氛唔算好明顯，會喺小息/空堂溫書嘅人少之又少，所以張廷宇或者係啱嘅。

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但最令我唔忿氣嘅係，內心嗰種「唔溫就唔會有好成績」嘅自我暗示某程度上揭示咗我同小悠其實係處於同一個智商level！

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豈有此理。

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死死氣温緊數學notes嗰陣，小悠問：

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「點解啲古代人用字唔可以淺白啲呢？一定要寫到啲嘢咁難明架咩？」

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「我點q知啫。」

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「好似呢篇咁，個作者都係想叫人佛系生活啫，點解要寫咁大篇嘢呢？明明一張佛系肥仔圖就可以代表晒所有意思。」

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「你最好喺古代搵張Bobby hill俾我睇吓…」

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「畫咪得囉？反正啲古人畫畫咁靚。」

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我決定坐去飯枱嗰邊，再同佢講落去我連僅餘嘅智商應該都會冇埋。

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之後，小悠果然靜靜地繼續睇範文（一直維持倒轉攤喺梳化嘅姿勢），而我就得以整理一下數學concept。

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晚飯嗰陣，阿妹突然問我：「哥，過幾日我可唔可以帶朋友上嚟過夜呀？」

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「吓？咁突然？」因為阿妹從來冇帶過人上屋企玩，更何況過夜，所以我有啲愕然。

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「唔得呀…？咁當我冇問過啦。」

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「阿帆你點解唔俾阿妹帶人上嚟呀？多啲人玩熱鬧啲嘛。」小悠學人搭嗲。

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「人地有話同你一齊玩咩？仲有，我又冇話唔好。」

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阿妹帶朋友上嚟玩，我梗係無任歡迎，因為咁代表阿妹喺學校有玩得埋嘅人，對由細到大都冇咩朋友嘅佢嚟講係一件幾難得嘅事。

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「阿哥你話可以嘅話，咁我覆佢架喇。」阿妹難得咁雀躍，我點捨得唔俾佢。

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「覆啦，嗰日我使唔使帶小悠出吓街？費事留喺屋企阻住你地玩吖嘛？」

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「好呀！我地嗰日去邊呀？」一聽到出街，小悠又亢奮起嚟。

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不過阿妹擰頭：「唔使，其實我地嘅目的都唔係玩嘅，係見下個星期統測，所以約埋一齊溫書咋嘛，阿哥你地學校唔係都要統測咩？」

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「要，你唔好再提我啲傷心事…」

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「咁就啱喇，我地四個人嗰日可以一齊溫，有咩唔明咪可以即刻問囉？」

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「好呀！阿妹你地學校咁犀利，讀書一定好叻啫！」我咩都未講，小悠已經搶住答。

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「叻就唔敢講，不過當交流吓囉。」阿妹望住小悠嗰陣雖然係笑住，但表情有啲奇怪。

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我估，阿妹應該仲為上次宿營考試而耿耿於懷。

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佢可能想藉今次機會去試探小悠。

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雖然直到而家我都覺得係阿妹搞錯咗，小悠點會勁過全級第一嘅羅凱撒？

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但睇嚟過幾日，就唔到阿妹唔認——

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小悠係一個徹頭徹尾嘅白痴呢個事實。

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我偷偷笑咗出嚟。

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「咁阿哥你覺得點呀？嗰日我地四個一齊溫書好唔好呀？」

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「啲咁有益身心嘅活動，我梗係贊成啦。」

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「太好喇！連阿帆都話好！」

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於是，一場作為統測前最後衝刺兼且貌似會通頂（？）嘅讀書會就係咁臨急臨忙誕生咗。

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統測篇：天才與白痴

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