於是，Tim少和阿樂下樓吃飯，再買了一個蛋糕。回家，放進雪櫃，然後開始打機。820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrcHXSKp3EO
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT2fUTZo4V3
青青外出和好友度過午餐和下午茶時段。820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCcvmv7s4sO
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfXYkOgkvuy
之後，她去旺角，等Matt；他們約六點半，她先到，不停地來回審視自己的臉容，到洗手間看看有沒有面泛油光、甩妝，再仔細地梳一梳頭。六點五十五分，Matt出現。820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ArZwY9FB6
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpUVesVFaZk
「好耐冇見。」820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5wMSm2nND5
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF3CowsZ4Ec
「係。」820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRaAyb1uM8t
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUWxrosslPu
接下來的不足兩小時，他看她像遇上瘟疫一樣，避之則吉，連正視她的眼也像害怕感染病毒，總和她對看一會兒然後移開。820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Br2hORebx
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDNJ53fbHU2
沿路，她問了很多想知的事，還自己一個死心；他說了一些她應該想知的事，渾身不自在，忽然覺得很祼露。820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBrsd6bsAM1
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUWrkYOWSRV
他們都覺得對方是陌生人。820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6yXWw1Grzz
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUk77VOSfIj
但，他們分明知道對方的名字、知道對方穿幾號鞋碼、知道對方的恥毛長度。820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDUOKEXT5TU
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq8KtlemuZa
就像恰恰一對普通的白色筷子，明明在湯熱麵熟的時候他們是極其有默契的一對，和對方攜手穿梭不同的質感，偶有碰撞但仍在磨合中互相協作；可是，當過了那短暫的時刻，就只被隨便洗刷再扔回去雜亂無章的櫃裏，沒有再一起，對方也不再重要，因為下次自然會與另一枝筷子成為一對。820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtdFb4I4kRN
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdmnNf9wizg
就像，一切都沒發生過一樣。820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfzN8W5ouiA
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo1FXC0f83Q
「明明應承咗我唔揾第個㗎嘛——」、「你話遲啲先得閒，叫我等到嗰時先多啲見㗎喎……」、「啫係你出軌？你係因為識咗佢，所以先想走？」820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH20RsF6Sbg
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx76BtlcgfL
「我同你分手之前，只係同佢傾幾句咋。」、「後尾我同佢互相都鍾意咗大家。」、「有呢個因素，但又唔可以咁樣歸因……」820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi9IKtQrfpu
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwUWj1w8roA
青青變得咄咄逼人，Matt仿佛努力地或以真話、或以假話去抵擋她的攻勢；她誓要剖家析族的知個明白，但他在說的時候卻感到難堪，偶然他回頭看見她小心地仰頭，防止眼淚掉下時，他又會感到心軟，如他所言：820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0kEI13MLul
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJqNQRfM1Fo
「咁真係我辜負咗你嘅。」820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUCwaqDCAcC
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWmRa2Fm7Pg
但Matt並沒有和青青說過一聲「對不起」，只逕行，最後不情不願地和她快快吃一個飯，然後趕急地跳上的士離去。820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhyL2yB7Rnd
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEKrDef678a
青青覺得自己今晚的行為很反常，平時，她的眼神從來不兇狠，也不會不停地追問一些已然沒有意義的答案，更不會捨棄自尊要求他人順她的意。820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH0PIs5ELLL
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVXYHhmogAd
對。820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFlWmpf6POf
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN03yQThIiI
她有些不一樣了。820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Lr7gLbf81
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTh6MjifpnB
她傻就傻在，有些東西，她想知得很清楚，如果不明不白又覺得很不甘心；但知道以後又更揪心。820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIHvN019YrG
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVPKPtGHlkQ
是她，將心掏出來，還將刀遞上去，留有一點卑微的盼望——820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1BnldEzSmb
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrbkTzbEROv
希望他殺人就殺人、切莫誅心，留她一點尊嚴，不要講出太過殘忍的內情。但從來，說清說楚都不會有任何的好結果，被拋棄的人沒有資格說尊嚴，真心愛人何有好的結果？真相是真，比真相是假可怕億萬倍。820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmg5qR02kUj
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnIK3KDpn9n
是她幼稚，不懂得原來，感情的真相是不可推敲的，只可瞞騙。820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5UpvBZZcSr
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUy3VcPjnQC
最後，青青輕輕地和Matt握手，像剛才所有的不愉快從未發生，迴光返照地笑說：820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjWkxSUBaqe
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡam6VbLrj9j
「祝你平安。前程萬里。」820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF4mavuwWvs
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJHFIPUlEC6
Matt有些錯愕地回握：820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8C2JD2b288
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfrYRtIbR60
「你都係。」820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7KXeCAxlM3
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAbbAtpwEfH
沒走幾步，他大喊，她聽不清，停下；他走到一個她勉強能聽見她說話的距離：820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmhKDRyfL0P
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOWerMhsbL5
「返到屋企同我講聲啦，注意安全。」820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZn0ccENFEC
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡofv7uX0afc
她挑眉，對他不可置否地笑笑，大步挺身向前行，因為她清楚，他不是真心的。820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡURuZr7wmId
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6wIFAHwOZO
行到轉角處，她突然覺得腳軟，隨之而來的是整個人的脆弱，她忽然覺得好悲傷，何有什麼落落大方的離別？她已死去一萬次。820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjMmUc9KPia
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4TYmy318Tw
屌，失戀啫——820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQAM4Bdo08n
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhLi8HnvOx2
但是她不能再怎樣了，所以她行去乘車，到某個站下車，再行回家，感受着絕望得弱小的風在吃力地撫慰她。820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbNRdEXqwXi
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxlRKnssmWk
好痛。820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqlwh4l2jw4
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf3kqFgTNRV
回阿樂住處之前，她先回原先的家，拿走了她的身體磨砂膏、髮膜，以及一套她從未穿過的內衣。820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMKw85VW0lh
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9I8THMM3Wq
今晚，她會和阿樂更輕鬆地聊天。820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHVWuCwKlv0
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlf4cCZNeQu
在放過自己之前，首先要懂得折磨自己。對不起。820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLOLo7aYceo
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUizsSqkN8D
- - -820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1eM1J5wkWq
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMiaSqciJBE
夜晚十一點半，青青到達阿樂的屋，他替她開門，見她熱得臉紅紅。820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZzGqrJXeAe
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN3yNMZ7xZV
「返嚟啦？食咗咩呀？」820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3rx6Psnthu
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6iwo4WqMgj
「Jollibee，但我嗰時冇乜胃口，宜家又有啲餓。」820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Nisz9A4YK
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIBzf8IXimQ
青青只食了一隻雞腿和呷了幾口汽水，感覺什麼都沒有下肚就要走，後來悲傷又填滿了她的胃，一路行回家時還有些消化不良。現在，就如此直直地客廳燈照耀，仿佛是個胃鏡看見裏面空空的，又立刻感到餓。820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlC7ci6bhki
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT5jseUgk4d
「咁就啱啦！我買咗個蛋糕，今日仲未過，快啲吹咗蠟燭先！」820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvW95xL0T5a
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡua1iIDd49t
阿樂遂去雪櫃拿出蛋糕，寫着「青青生日快樂」，黑森林口味。820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgt88AUakUB
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdqEPWNR61v
青青呆了好久，她沒有想過阿樂會給她買蛋糕。820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIr1cZOZKDM
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnUGeDwTvKK
出外一整天，整個人都零散地歸家，無論他送不送蛋糕，只要他講一句：「返嚟啦？」其實對她來說，已是安慰，因為怎樣都比Matt冷漠的眼神温暖。但現在阿樂捧出整整一個蛋糕，像是告訴她不需獨自吞下所有情緒，她就感動，非常感動。820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA3YwawMnyt
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTXTusNsXZL
青青有些哽咽，但又開心地笑：820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAoxOr1Pll9
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs4PH9pybwS
「哇、哇！竟然有蛋糕食。多謝！」820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgy1G4ilse
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMIoXgSO9LF
阿樂見她眼紅紅，大概猜到，無謂多問破壞現在的氣氛：820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs3rFMNcrg4
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCOBxpcio6U
「快啲許願啦。」820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBGpA8hKI1w
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg8FGfU5wyY
青青閉眼，吹熄蠟燭。820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwMDo1BklFN
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtqeV5m4s3V
「多謝多謝！不過我出埋文、沖完涼先食，出咗成日街好污糟。」820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpyYN8LQxg4
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1JJnu9xGf6
她多在電腦磨一會兒，電話收到訊息，她打開一看，些許憤怒，絲毫不想回覆，然後將目光放在電腦上，打字打得極響。820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa4fkw04gPp
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtVPfRNTcJh
過後，就去洗澡，擦上身體磨砂，敷上香得要死的髮膜，然後再自己的所有部位洗得乾乾淨淨，一併沖掉。抹乾身體後，再搽上body lotion，換上內衣，外穿睡裙。820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhph964Na8o
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf1f323qgwQ
她看着鏡子。820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbGXwhxIK3K
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWG1aOr47Dq
一直以來，她都有些猶豫，但她決定交給阿樂決定，如果今夜裏他主動吻她，他就會被動地接受她看似被動的攻略。她沉默地觀望自己：820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfJBF9lHRGA
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhhfeYrtpiO
我都要證明，我有本事。820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡix3aod474w
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy0iznQGeRF
他在她的房間等她，心想：今日搞咩搞咁耐？平時好快就出嚟。820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ1XWkS9G2t
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrguxcHQ2DF
他想知道青青和Matt傾了什麼，他見她興致平平但不至頹喪，眼睛裏只有累的感覺。820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmFK4B5AECS
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLDKvj4CptI
她出來，整個人都很香。820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9l1tKZ9f4H
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqkh0rRVD3j
阿樂拿出蛋糕和酒，把刀給青青切：820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5jawBg0fUT
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7mjvar5b8r
「唔好切到底，如果唔係會嫁唔出。」820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMe3uM2c1qA
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbHGhUxl4L9
「你咁迷信咩？」820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWrrqcqaM9R
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt1TBp5uikc
她又真的小心地切，提防切到底；她再見到這個蛋糕，還是覺得很感動，阿樂對她竟然這樣好，尤其是她傷心的時候。820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ3EuCIj9EU
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKHErzCW3Kb
「寧可信其有。不過咁囉，如果你真係因為咁而嫁唔出，我都肯抵諗啲要咗你嘅。」820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyPx2aWqWxp
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv8tbEWtops
阿樂笑笑，接過她手上的刀替她分蛋糕。820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhOCSM7lRcY
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXMHJasgsEW
「吓話？」820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSFsPmbTLG3
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTonmr3NkT5
「講嚟聽吓啦，你哋今日做咗咩嚟？」820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4PhrSxrzcm
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaFszjaabnX
他們開始飲酒，開始說廢話，講講下午和朋友吃了什麼、做了什麼；阿樂也大概知道青青和阿Matt分手前的事，大概是：Matt因為Retake DSE而忙，青青和他很少見面，之後他就和青青說沒有了感覺。820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAF1YHY0Y8K
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8fxEcuZIAJ
慢慢，青青的臉通紅，頸也微微緋桃，呼吸輕輕加快，說了最近最多的話，情緒開始激動，但完全沒有前文後理，又突然加入一個新的女角：820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1gYB2bQW66
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMF3jfQcoar
「佢——啫係我前男友，話俾我聽，個女仔同完佢原本個男朋友分手之後，就同佢一齊，但冇幾耐又揾返佢個Ex——你知唔知？我當時聽到個心好翳？820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiqg9PUJlIL
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV80rSKvm3d
以前，我連佢少少傷都唔敢俾佢受……男人忌諱呢啲綠唔綠帽嘅嘢，我明。一開始拍拖，我有同過以前追過我嘅人傾偈，佢發現咗之後唔太開心，之後我就冇再咁做。820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl7DIJALTkL
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK07wi0Z023
後來，亦都冇試過同男仔單獨見面，都避哂啲曖昧嘢。就係因為我唔想佢因為咁而唔開心，所以從來冇做任何出格嘅行為，宜家呢？820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEF7UOZFPG0
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2McPImCQnr
佢出面嗰個女仔咁樣對佢？我將佢擺喺心尖上面啊！但佢出去就咁樣？好心痛呀！820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8g2JJI3lgB
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCPmVuEhdof
但係……當我潤完佢咁都鍾意個女仔，佢答我話：『我都好心痛㗎。』，你知唔知點解？我突然間真係有啲着咗火嘅感覺，覺得個心喺度燒。820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTeVnne5eYf
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡITPNYfIK3j
我真係……用哂全部對愛情嘅精力去對佢好，我真係唔捨得佢受到委屈，至少喺我呢度，我真係、真係已經盡全力去保護佢唔好勾起唔好嘅回憶——佢以前有不愉快嘅經歷，然後呢？佢鍾意咗一個咁樣hurt佢嘅人？並且仲要繼續同個女仔過？仲繼續鍾意佢？仲因為佢，所以唔要我……820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡngXAxQfvXV
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9RkeQ8uJfz
我好難受……820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIpy7UhUK6j
820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJhlmBjYATG
我真係有咁唔好咩……」820Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPGiegzcImn
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