「咁你呢,又點呀?」803Please respect copyright.PENANAdrHk4twepG
803Please respect copyright.PENANAzp8y8BS2xv
阿樂問。這段時間,他和青青接觸得不多,他們的吃飯時間,各有各。803Please respect copyright.PENANAkjThL8So0L
803Please respect copyright.PENANAPIhXXciUO1
「托賴,幾好吖。」803Please respect copyright.PENANAmaEGFwCrnd
803Please respect copyright.PENANAMxJlWvCUIF
「你咁樣叫幾好?咪玩啦。」803Please respect copyright.PENANAbrwC95ynkt
803Please respect copyright.PENANAWZ9F736s5o
即使不夠光,但阿樂還是看得出青青的憔悴,突然又說:「上磅睇吓。」803Please respect copyright.PENANAZCXAk1oFEr
803Please respect copyright.PENANAiZRRR8VU9S
阿樂想確認是不是他的錯覺——他覺得青青越來越瘦。803Please respect copyright.PENANAkrTD2V6MTE
803Please respect copyright.PENANAKtxyFyZeuX
然後搬出體重磅,叫她站上去,電子屏幕顯示37.1kg,身高只得米五多一點的她其實不特別瘦,只是脂肪輕。803Please respect copyright.PENANANMNH31tb8A
803Please respect copyright.PENANA50O3Elyo8Y
「搞咩啊,宜家仲要係夜晚,啫係已經重咗……803Please respect copyright.PENANAe7RUVReqwB
803Please respect copyright.PENANA2L6ZNse60u
我煮啲飯唔好食咩?你遲啲返到屋企,你阿媽會唔會以為我哋唔俾飽飯你食㗎?」803Please respect copyright.PENANARWYX2BG21T
803Please respect copyright.PENANAH6Qob3cjsX
阿樂卻知道她的臉一點點地削下去,原本包得很的圓臉已經消減,和她Instagram的舊相差很遠。803Please respect copyright.PENANA243oiHeL6l
803Please respect copyright.PENANAS6f1M1yC2o
「好食吖,已經慢慢食多咗㗎啦!未到啫未到啫。」她說。803Please respect copyright.PENANAu6zNfDVnOp
803Please respect copyright.PENANA8oAdmQHnKZ
失戀之後,青青的身體差了很多。晚上失眠只在被窩裏漆黑地消耗入睡的耐心,入睡之後卻不斷醒來,有時被雨聲吵醒,有時是發夢嚇醒,有時就是不知何故就醒,每天都只能睡一會兒。803Please respect copyright.PENANAIdTKG0qban
803Please respect copyright.PENANAwLaDI9WZzm
白天的胃口不是特別好,總感覺整個人都很暈。803Please respect copyright.PENANAYILiDmjE5j
803Please respect copyright.PENANAdzdAyVCe6t
她有吃飯,但也就是為了活命吃的,有時感覺不到餓就隨便吃兩口,即使阿樂煮得很好。晚上又會忽然有心癮暴食,吃完之後又覺得愧疚。803Please respect copyright.PENANAjCJRfh8hCn
803Please respect copyright.PENANAKFPAK4t6oj
她的憔悴體現在臉上,眼皮的膠原蛋白流失,眼窩就變深,令她的雙眼皮有點老氣。黑眼圈也明顯,連上眼皮都像塗了大地色系眼影一樣。803Please respect copyright.PENANAZnwqYZAgie
803Please respect copyright.PENANA0TuTvntv0B
月經來了一個多星期後,下體又少量出血,不知何故;頭髮大把大把的掉,面臨少年脫髮危機;胃在反覆的飽和餓之間,經常隱隱作痛。803Please respect copyright.PENANAO0A3GgbFGS
803Please respect copyright.PENANAxPysSKZ6lW
每天都不想做任何事。803Please respect copyright.PENANAjjgvDVP1fk
803Please respect copyright.PENANAPA2I0Q3jcO
如果看數字,她確實跌磅了,上年的八月她比現在重五公斤。803Please respect copyright.PENANAX8tQVa2NgI
803Please respect copyright.PENANAS22EHe28E8
明明,她是她家人、朋友的寶,為什麼要這樣自我折磨呢?看來脫落的不只是曲折的頭髮,看來還有智商和理智……803Please respect copyright.PENANAZDfcFHqn00
803Please respect copyright.PENANATj2VlwhwNs
明明,她很清楚,就算她橫屍街頭,已離棄她的人都不會在意,最多像看新聞那樣心裏閃過一刻的惻然,假裝悲情地歎一口氣,然後遺忘她的存在、過自己的快活日子。803Please respect copyright.PENANApb9ff7cFZb
803Please respect copyright.PENANAWZCoibk1Vl
阿樂向青青投向懷疑的眼神,她再強調:803Please respect copyright.PENANA4RiGR6q7hN
803Please respect copyright.PENANAHv5ZTxXZDe
「放心啦,邊睇得出。而且,我已經有食返多啲嘢啦。」803Please respect copyright.PENANAxjEv3ddRzJ
803Please respect copyright.PENANA0A3gS3mBwk
「係咪酸嘢易入口啲?聽日煲番茄湯?」803Please respect copyright.PENANAvfB1bNffpe
803Please respect copyright.PENANAtGevnsPDjy
「好——」她的聲音戛然而止,又說:「我諗緊聽日出唔出街。」803Please respect copyright.PENANAd7HBBB4QDJ
803Please respect copyright.PENANAgwd1JJBQsQ
最近的好多事,她都不想和好朋友說,因為其實也只是小事吧;而且,她的驕傲不允許她說太多真心的脆弱。803Please respect copyright.PENANA5yIGJKGNk8
803Please respect copyright.PENANA77nO4vuyDJ
此刻的環境,如阿樂剖白心聲那樣,感染了她,突然覺得晚上就應該大肆地分享,好的壞的也是。阿樂和她只相識了兩個月,她感覺可以在他面前不用握緊無謂的自尊。803Please respect copyright.PENANALe68Lz2Buv
803Please respect copyright.PENANALG5CgAXlKf
何況,他們如此親厚。803Please respect copyright.PENANA5qkDAn3u9y
803Please respect copyright.PENANAHeiuwRv4uj
阿樂問:「去邊?」803Please respect copyright.PENANAsD9ofGdR90
803Please respect copyright.PENANAXorKEpkAzZ
青青站起,去房拿出電話,決定給阿樂看她的WhatsApp對話。803Please respect copyright.PENANAd1Rqp7HVO5
803Please respect copyright.PENANAotlkNDeGxN
她的一個中學同學Sean,從朋友處知道她失戀,然後開始頻繁地找她聊天,講一些曖昧的話。803Please respect copyright.PENANArsUu4fGAMU
803Please respect copyright.PENANA6iepTix4ZS
青青直接問:「你想媾我?」803Please respect copyright.PENANAAQIflpYOhg
803Please respect copyright.PENANArOcb2dIJp2
Sean回答:803Please respect copyright.PENANAJuNMOi8Iic
803Please respect copyright.PENANALPurxVPM5z
「係。803Please respect copyright.PENANA6iFOsLsNqQ
803Please respect copyright.PENANAl3h7FrZwCP
以前中學嗰陣我已經鍾意你,諗住DSE完就同你表白。但你嗰時已經有男朋友。所以,我都係冇講到出口,淨係Grad Din嗰陣揾咗你影相。」803Please respect copyright.PENANArzTThtSO8g
803Please respect copyright.PENANAnCGj0FWa5b
隔了兩小時,Sean見青青未有回覆,又道:803Please respect copyright.PENANAbW3edNEJM3
803Please respect copyright.PENANAgi5gNhUKtk
「不如我哋聽日出嚟食餐飯?」803Please respect copyright.PENANAUBYiFdQm37
803Please respect copyright.PENANAekiwPmkNGC
阿樂看完後,說:「佢都幾積極吖,去吓囉。」803Please respect copyright.PENANAd2ikDeBhgX
803Please respect copyright.PENANAQRieXZvemI
他完全沒有吃醋、難過。他認清,情感一時的高温驅使他對青青有意,但短短十幾天的時間已足以冷卻。反而,如今她聽他講心事,他也想做一樣的事。803Please respect copyright.PENANAY6lweSD6hb
803Please respect copyright.PENANAWNTadsI5MU
「唔知啊……好突然啊好似。」803Please respect copyright.PENANAUgrXwSEepl
803Please respect copyright.PENANA1EKoTDbG4Z
除了通識分組同一班、初中曾經同過班,青青和Sean根本沒有太多接觸,她都不知道他喜歡她什麼。不,應該說,她都不太認識Sean,她只知他成績不錯、朋友不少;長相若不是查看了Instagram,可能也陌生得記不起來。803Please respect copyright.PENANAMyMcWXgfEb
803Please respect copyright.PENANAbGdJdCMMLb
「想試咪去囉。」阿樂鼓勵。803Please respect copyright.PENANAWeC2gpoJ9S
803Please respect copyright.PENANAE9T4kv0e6S
「想試啊,但係,又唔敢。」青青停頓數秒,又講:「都係算啦,唔會得㗎啦。」803Please respect copyright.PENANAd0Yss4WYI8
803Please respect copyright.PENANApbuCaszyV3
她突然直覺和Sean不會後續了,她突然覺得毫無心思,在這寧靜的空間裏,分辨自己的念頭。她回覆Sean:803Please respect copyright.PENANAd5fXDEJT05
803Please respect copyright.PENANARTM97ZNmmH
「Sorry,我唔想。多謝你。」803Please respect copyright.PENANAp5fiqzA2JZ
803Please respect copyright.PENANAOJ9hmlQWEB
阿樂邊看青青看電話,邊調侃她:803Please respect copyright.PENANAQUwRXGc4Np
803Please respect copyright.PENANAgGVFlPGJkx
「咁我咪好好彩,話哂你都肯試。」803Please respect copyright.PENANA6wTn8nWB4o
803Please respect copyright.PENANAjwj6H05Rfh
「係呀係呀。」她也笑。803Please respect copyright.PENANA84ii62Xiu2
803Please respect copyright.PENANAXrh69WplVv
阿樂質疑:803Please respect copyright.PENANAiuxudf47pK
803Please respect copyright.PENANAPC4FCAxodk
「點解唔敢呀?唔係叫我狗衝㗎咩,要勇敢㗎嘛?」803Please respect copyright.PENANAkczywLaQWF
803Please respect copyright.PENANAabaVyg26Aw
青青思考,然後緩緩地道:803Please respect copyright.PENANAepu24iP9f6
803Please respect copyright.PENANAvyeed7wwko
「我好驚啊因為。我太垃圾啦。803Please respect copyright.PENANADHjDtZdbQt
803Please respect copyright.PENANA0TfxxsAq6R
啫係,我成日都覺得,無論幾鍾意都好,最後都係會走咁。我頂唔順呀,我份人好撚老土㗎!拍拖要拍到八十歲,一生一世㗎嘛。但可能,真係太天真,宜家又仲咁後生。803Please respect copyright.PENANAcDW2HQaDOf
803Please respect copyright.PENANAyHrsoCYyYn
我好唔鍾意呢一個過程——好唔容易先至全心全意認定一個人,由冷漠去到開始熱情、開始信任對方,然後佢就走咗去。其實係咪我問題?係唔係好易接受㗎?803Please respect copyright.PENANAuE2fZgST0h
803Please respect copyright.PENANAjWwUoQcnSV
因為佢,好似一啲都冇唔捨得我啊。」803Please respect copyright.PENANAwxObIYsjNa
803Please respect copyright.PENANADFfuBLowql
青青緊盯前方的電視,阿樂見狀,突然醒起什麼似的,開啟電視,又放了一隻DVD進去。803Please respect copyright.PENANAS3xamrZVp5
803Please respect copyright.PENANA5OxKHoiU1x
畫面出現一個火爐,火在熊熊燃燒。803Please respect copyright.PENANARX033cB2oc
803Please respect copyright.PENANAJ473lvHytR
「搞咩啊?」青青不解。803Please respect copyright.PENANAJHuLoT4J9A
803Please respect copyright.PENANAs9Yy2WJxLQ
「之前買咗呢隻碟,播住睇,感覺個人會温暖啲。」803Please respect copyright.PENANAEIIJ277kHk
803Please respect copyright.PENANAmKPhrLapoA
「宜家夏天喎Ching!」803Please respect copyright.PENANAuppm94E44I
803Please respect copyright.PENANA2ThSryZvjm
「你個心咁凍,啱㗎啦。」803Please respect copyright.PENANAPgzv3liWV3
803Please respect copyright.PENANAWS0sz95z2r
阿樂微笑,青青覺得很奇異。803Please respect copyright.PENANAweZ9IUaJVZ
803Please respect copyright.PENANAG7mpBYpgUC
電視上的火光在搖動,映在了他們的眼裏,也透着橙紅色的活潑。803Please respect copyright.PENANA1fZxen8D6b
803Please respect copyright.PENANAVZGTultRWp
「OK啦。」她的心沒有變暖,但確實覺得很有趣,竟有人花錢買這種碟看。803Please respect copyright.PENANA80K3fxl7N0
803Please respect copyright.PENANA2LkRgftbRE
「因為咁,所以唔信人?」803Please respect copyright.PENANAFLMGU1vA0x
803Please respect copyright.PENANA9uw7VTS6Sj
阿樂回到剛才的話題,青青正色:803Please respect copyright.PENANArhCdZjg9fN
803Please respect copyright.PENANAjsOUbRKDc1
「係啊,好似覺得,無論對方幾愛,到最後都係會走。佢夠話愛我一生一世啦,夠話以後淨係愛我一個啦……起初唔信㗎我,後來我信,之後佢就飛咗我啦。803Please respect copyright.PENANArJsz5V3j9g
803Please respect copyright.PENANAtI4tJcPlSD
頂……我成個怨婦咁。」803Please respect copyright.PENANAGhyWzxsIYB
803Please respect copyright.PENANAjMquHGjWJP
青青自嘲。乾癟癟地「哈」了一下。803Please respect copyright.PENANA5Uklst2WXQ
803Please respect copyright.PENANAe6Fh3eFFKM
她發現自己有些恐懼。803Please respect copyright.PENANA9DXeV656mw
803Please respect copyright.PENANALAGyikk2ZB
到底,曾經甜蜜如Matt的愛意,最後也化煙。明明是Matt追求青青、首先表達愛意,亦在戀愛中對她極好,令信心不足的她從懷疑到沉淪。803Please respect copyright.PENANAXVVbqOgeku
803Please respect copyright.PENANAiUVgsHIQ5B
明明是他先到來入侵她的生活。仿佛,二人為新居添置不同的傢俬和私人物品一樣,眼見室內環境已經非常完善;但他宣佈要走,隨即撤離其私人物品,卻留下共同購買的傢俬,供她睹物思人、念記舊時歡喜;她卻因這居室過分和暖而心無怨懟,無法盡興地發洩情緒,獨得傷心在無眠夜裏壓着她。803Please respect copyright.PENANAOTmGMqjNg4
803Please respect copyright.PENANAUJU2ndL4UW
最後,Matt離開。803Please respect copyright.PENANAaZceiTMWyM
803Please respect copyright.PENANAEgyJcrrZDp
她可笑地見證了這一段關係的興落,從築起到繁華,最終傾頹。803Please respect copyright.PENANAE7Z5MQPVCn
803Please respect copyright.PENANAuAzEpxn7Tn
她始知,原來,愛情是這樣的一回事。愛,兩個人,開心,然後不開心。某些Happy ending,唯有期望將來會有。803Please respect copyright.PENANAKVPdvYwgIr
803Please respect copyright.PENANAw34RHowbUM
阿樂破了她的處,沒有令她長大,那不過是幾個姿勢、幾番高潮、幾潭愛液,處女膜破裂,只是暫時的生理性疼痛。803Please respect copyright.PENANA6NajNw6Nho
803Please respect copyright.PENANAWT5X1431ay
但是,Matt的光臨與離任,真令她成為大人——不是好人、不是壞人,僅僅是一個「大人」,她開始明白許多道理,那些她有過的天真的熱愛,都冷硬起來,被摔到地上粉碎得無法拼湊,像攤開手就忘情飛揚的骨灰。803Please respect copyright.PENANADEDHdm6CvU
803Please respect copyright.PENANAYiQlPra38X
是Matt教青青:愛情世界是殘酷的。曾經她想像過的一生一世,其實只是童話般的幻想……803Please respect copyright.PENANAxnINUHHq0L
803Please respect copyright.PENANAY4THgqFFky
而他們,已過了讀童話的心境了,因只想窺探幸福快樂之後的日子。803Please respect copyright.PENANA77sH3MWwkR
803Please respect copyright.PENANA75R8kcWEUB
阿樂只好拍拍青青的肩。803Please respect copyright.PENANAXeJu3sGtEC
803Please respect copyright.PENANARl3C33JPAX
此時,阿樂又冷不防地說了一句:803Please respect copyright.PENANArnUUC3CHi0
803Please respect copyright.PENANAU6pM9mBYWA
「佢嗰句『Love you forever』,可能係Made in China。」803Please respect copyright.PENANAmKuAIV8fN8
803Please respect copyright.PENANAKizueolYhj
青青被此話篤中笑點,覺得很抵死。