於是，Tim少和阿樂下樓吃飯，再買了一個蛋糕。回家，放進雪櫃，然後開始打機。819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ13NA55frQT
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGjN9IL5kUk
青青外出和好友度過午餐和下午茶時段。819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2eIkZ587eB
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHdeEdT08LV
之後，她去旺角，等Matt；他們約六點半，她先到，不停地來回審視自己的臉容，到洗手間看看有沒有面泛油光、甩妝，再仔細地梳一梳頭。六點五十五分，Matt出現。819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIKNmUVcjst
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIuPehm3AZm
「好耐冇見。」819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNGZHsUjKLS
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnRmZCQ7w7R
「係。」819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJRLpoqXcWZ
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaaeeWRLxyj
接下來的不足兩小時，他看她像遇上瘟疫一樣，避之則吉，連正視她的眼也像害怕感染病毒，總和她對看一會兒然後移開。819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNJw1eDYdtl
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrtzIVQKjos
沿路，她問了很多想知的事，還自己一個死心；他說了一些她應該想知的事，渾身不自在，忽然覺得很祼露。819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqat80pbPtz
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfEA8AvkGFw
他們都覺得對方是陌生人。819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbsQcLV63S3
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJL9NNstmrm
但，他們分明知道對方的名字、知道對方穿幾號鞋碼、知道對方的恥毛長度。819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWWS7fwj4ko
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBURhczCNhu
就像恰恰一對普通的白色筷子，明明在湯熱麵熟的時候他們是極其有默契的一對，和對方攜手穿梭不同的質感，偶有碰撞但仍在磨合中互相協作；可是，當過了那短暫的時刻，就只被隨便洗刷再扔回去雜亂無章的櫃裏，沒有再一起，對方也不再重要，因為下次自然會與另一枝筷子成為一對。819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqE2caKB0SB
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaLhzdyM2Oj
就像，一切都沒發生過一樣。819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj2M0Z7AaJO
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ0w6jsYCbO
「明明應承咗我唔揾第個㗎嘛——」、「你話遲啲先得閒，叫我等到嗰時先多啲見㗎喎……」、「啫係你出軌？你係因為識咗佢，所以先想走？」819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcuJQSA5bqi
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyGz5vpqxSY
「我同你分手之前，只係同佢傾幾句咋。」、「後尾我同佢互相都鍾意咗大家。」、「有呢個因素，但又唔可以咁樣歸因……」819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhJGamlhZo3
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8CVShuL4aK
青青變得咄咄逼人，Matt仿佛努力地或以真話、或以假話去抵擋她的攻勢；她誓要剖家析族的知個明白，但他在說的時候卻感到難堪，偶然他回頭看見她小心地仰頭，防止眼淚掉下時，他又會感到心軟，如他所言：819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUZK96OHFnO
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoEMhhVYnPH
「咁真係我辜負咗你嘅。」819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWf9MyapZWW
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTPY6jw7foi
但Matt並沒有和青青說過一聲「對不起」，只逕行，最後不情不願地和她快快吃一個飯，然後趕急地跳上的士離去。819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMifOcjuB4X
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9wxP41gQFA
青青覺得自己今晚的行為很反常，平時，她的眼神從來不兇狠，也不會不停地追問一些已然沒有意義的答案，更不會捨棄自尊要求他人順她的意。819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWJIIzUxwF4
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcZ4ErO53d5
對。819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHsv7ebmQ8f
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5lQ9AnlYXG
她有些不一樣了。819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJVzX0cQXw
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQrMFMYwnRF
她傻就傻在，有些東西，她想知得很清楚，如果不明不白又覺得很不甘心；但知道以後又更揪心。819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNsuoMi56Er
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeERl8rGN8X
是她，將心掏出來，還將刀遞上去，留有一點卑微的盼望——819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJBEuYnVsZL
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDoMRBzYTOb
希望他殺人就殺人、切莫誅心，留她一點尊嚴，不要講出太過殘忍的內情。但從來，說清說楚都不會有任何的好結果，被拋棄的人沒有資格說尊嚴，真心愛人何有好的結果？真相是真，比真相是假可怕億萬倍。819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbaqnvmKl2x
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG8Mr0P3uG6
是她幼稚，不懂得原來，感情的真相是不可推敲的，只可瞞騙。819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXZOYgyfQ56
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoENLTvnptn
最後，青青輕輕地和Matt握手，像剛才所有的不愉快從未發生，迴光返照地笑說：819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡamQE6wVfuO
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGjzlbqqOND
「祝你平安。前程萬里。」819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpwWt2Cc1lr
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe3MfDb5RAy
Matt有些錯愕地回握：819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLjvGZfnbMC
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd89jI9JfQ8
「你都係。」819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9OSiyk50yO
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqW2X7FMUkW
沒走幾步，他大喊，她聽不清，停下；他走到一個她勉強能聽見她說話的距離：819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzuacy7J0Ku
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1NThGDuay5
「返到屋企同我講聲啦，注意安全。」819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ30KEaRvFx8
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbjS0i6m4wK
她挑眉，對他不可置否地笑笑，大步挺身向前行，因為她清楚，他不是真心的。819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGYRitxUE9e
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4TCxGyxACX
行到轉角處，她突然覺得腳軟，隨之而來的是整個人的脆弱，她忽然覺得好悲傷，何有什麼落落大方的離別？她已死去一萬次。819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRcbpQlu0fU
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL0lD1GU7eY
屌，失戀啫——819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0XZbYRGXe4
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYpKzzzqnyU
但是她不能再怎樣了，所以她行去乘車，到某個站下車，再行回家，感受着絕望得弱小的風在吃力地撫慰她。819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbeIUn1maU
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPIIuh71PLE
好痛。819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdT4ZwhQeLc
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBECan25aZT
回阿樂住處之前，她先回原先的家，拿走了她的身體磨砂膏、髮膜，以及一套她從未穿過的內衣。819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv1hRYUZzTk
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHoNaJbkBB
今晚，她會和阿樂更輕鬆地聊天。819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXhy6VZjtT5
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq4fl9iTIUZ
在放過自己之前，首先要懂得折磨自己。對不起。819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡePtdVjSX6S
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSYYCuZLBnD
- - -819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRazCVFTuFA
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFvTvdU1dax
夜晚十一點半，青青到達阿樂的屋，他替她開門，見她熱得臉紅紅。819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN0UmtEyBiY
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMDAIir09A2
「返嚟啦？食咗咩呀？」819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiX0U4Ib71z
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmGhb5r3kRw
「Jollibee，但我嗰時冇乜胃口，宜家又有啲餓。」819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEE76qf9MZo
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVxE65MyMyk
青青只食了一隻雞腿和呷了幾口汽水，感覺什麼都沒有下肚就要走，後來悲傷又填滿了她的胃，一路行回家時還有些消化不良。現在，就如此直直地客廳燈照耀，仿佛是個胃鏡看見裏面空空的，又立刻感到餓。819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFsGMcbrnkK
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfuJjhi2f17
「咁就啱啦！我買咗個蛋糕，今日仲未過，快啲吹咗蠟燭先！」819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡctirRYW3cn
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQjz2MIo2L
阿樂遂去雪櫃拿出蛋糕，寫着「青青生日快樂」，黑森林口味。819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsXBHKXia7C
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5pikN1ME6r
青青呆了好久，她沒有想過阿樂會給她買蛋糕。819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡur6ddGPPj1
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQmQQTWlqqD
出外一整天，整個人都零散地歸家，無論他送不送蛋糕，只要他講一句：「返嚟啦？」其實對她來說，已是安慰，因為怎樣都比Matt冷漠的眼神温暖。但現在阿樂捧出整整一個蛋糕，像是告訴她不需獨自吞下所有情緒，她就感動，非常感動。819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6MdQK0nNr5
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrvawmhf6Bt
青青有些哽咽，但又開心地笑：819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUBW6zqOeg0
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnntQ9UCPIA
「哇、哇！竟然有蛋糕食。多謝！」819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlz7YfKoDXG
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTRSw67e1wF
阿樂見她眼紅紅，大概猜到，無謂多問破壞現在的氣氛：819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK0qewRZAKS
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzX4d2F18Fp
「快啲許願啦。」819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDga4dlPBRx
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUQTCf8t6yn
青青閉眼，吹熄蠟燭。819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc0TpTLLkOx
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdclUzD55Rn
「多謝多謝！不過我出埋文、沖完涼先食，出咗成日街好污糟。」819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQZI3Q2M8A
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbciyleTekj
她多在電腦磨一會兒，電話收到訊息，她打開一看，些許憤怒，絲毫不想回覆，然後將目光放在電腦上，打字打得極響。819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgCYEPhG4Nx
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrIqFCe9rj7
過後，就去洗澡，擦上身體磨砂，敷上香得要死的髮膜，然後再自己的所有部位洗得乾乾淨淨，一併沖掉。抹乾身體後，再搽上body lotion，換上內衣，外穿睡裙。819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3lVzHc1OvF
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu2IWLKKfxC
她看着鏡子。819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4WUthSEmLv
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDzIRDTowCh
一直以來，她都有些猶豫，但她決定交給阿樂決定，如果今夜裏他主動吻她，他就會被動地接受她看似被動的攻略。她沉默地觀望自己：819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvPDiUTGg4X
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwaU2oxKcyk
我都要證明，我有本事。819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYQrMAhXeYY
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfPQ7lXHURK
他在她的房間等她，心想：今日搞咩搞咁耐？平時好快就出嚟。819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡATVpEAqrUd
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8HdD68V0iI
他想知道青青和Matt傾了什麼，他見她興致平平但不至頹喪，眼睛裏只有累的感覺。819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtAd7LXFFWI
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVYzlMnmZXU
她出來，整個人都很香。819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8erDfQbYdP
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrU3Cx8QrLL
阿樂拿出蛋糕和酒，把刀給青青切：819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFYHVtyHbXj
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzrpXZtSmuj
「唔好切到底，如果唔係會嫁唔出。」819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSm83LJ6yJX
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxq1PfPSY6W
「你咁迷信咩？」819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7M9QOKYShz
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8x083dlFbr
她又真的小心地切，提防切到底；她再見到這個蛋糕，還是覺得很感動，阿樂對她竟然這樣好，尤其是她傷心的時候。819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtGXG9pWfB7
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVHTwK1I1XL
「寧可信其有。不過咁囉，如果你真係因為咁而嫁唔出，我都肯抵諗啲要咗你嘅。」819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAKBlw87ZFB
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCgaZkaIss
阿樂笑笑，接過她手上的刀替她分蛋糕。819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPna9Enk6UC
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkNf7CqSiuI
「吓話？」819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb0Oiqy9tzr
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlSGTtpDQUQ
「講嚟聽吓啦，你哋今日做咗咩嚟？」819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQdsx2yIEes
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡssjbpzADJR
他們開始飲酒，開始說廢話，講講下午和朋友吃了什麼、做了什麼；阿樂也大概知道青青和阿Matt分手前的事，大概是：Matt因為Retake DSE而忙，青青和他很少見面，之後他就和青青說沒有了感覺。819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjdoe6Vs8s
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq0UtbfR4B5
慢慢，青青的臉通紅，頸也微微緋桃，呼吸輕輕加快，說了最近最多的話，情緒開始激動，但完全沒有前文後理，又突然加入一個新的女角：819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtigA4e6Rhh
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTsDkAnUbhq
「佢——啫係我前男友，話俾我聽，個女仔同完佢原本個男朋友分手之後，就同佢一齊，但冇幾耐又揾返佢個Ex——你知唔知？我當時聽到個心好翳？819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvjlDBRHGWU
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQzX0BPjPBA
以前，我連佢少少傷都唔敢俾佢受……男人忌諱呢啲綠唔綠帽嘅嘢，我明。一開始拍拖，我有同過以前追過我嘅人傾偈，佢發現咗之後唔太開心，之後我就冇再咁做。819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68tUszKhED
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡne7uM9iNUk
後來，亦都冇試過同男仔單獨見面，都避哂啲曖昧嘢。就係因為我唔想佢因為咁而唔開心，所以從來冇做任何出格嘅行為，宜家呢？819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuffPQrqKbY
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHGrjkvdUFE
佢出面嗰個女仔咁樣對佢？我將佢擺喺心尖上面啊！但佢出去就咁樣？好心痛呀！819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZzA7fqN2r
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcL24jh8yo4
但係……當我潤完佢咁都鍾意個女仔，佢答我話：『我都好心痛㗎。』，你知唔知點解？我突然間真係有啲着咗火嘅感覺，覺得個心喺度燒。819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡigMErTxmKy
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuWMvcffGvz
我真係……用哂全部對愛情嘅精力去對佢好，我真係唔捨得佢受到委屈，至少喺我呢度，我真係、真係已經盡全力去保護佢唔好勾起唔好嘅回憶——佢以前有不愉快嘅經歷，然後呢？佢鍾意咗一個咁樣hurt佢嘅人？並且仲要繼續同個女仔過？仲繼續鍾意佢？仲因為佢，所以唔要我……819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB6pDsKxUWf
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwc1Adh7br9
我好難受……819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ36WVzfKbFW
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuxsMMD1Ygj
我真係有咁唔好咩……」819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhcuhFAGiX7
819Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUTJjIcRokj
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