她覺得自己做錯決定。653Please respect copyright.PENANAFZ4rEIQCrG
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昨夜那個她不是平時的她。653Please respect copyright.PENANAeLFC1XsKOm
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見完Matt之後,她知道了更多的事,她生氣、悲傷、不解。653Please respect copyright.PENANAYmwqHEcqsI
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她沒有了平日的冷靜,過往兩個月她都因失戀而過得很不自在,時常將所有問題歸咎自身,甚至已經開始計劃將來,要怎樣對Matt才能令二人都好?但是被離棄的打擊還是逐點逐點地令她自我質疑,每日都告訴自己要過得好一點、更美麗一點,心情徘徊在傷心、開心、傷心的無限輪迴中。653Please respect copyright.PENANAAadzMwO7ay
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時有希望,所以,時時失望。653Please respect copyright.PENANA2abqWNhQ4n
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這一種失落愛人的空虛,又令她不適應於往日生活的節奏,對方已沒有和她通訊,二人只會在某些日子問:「Safe?」653Please respect copyright.PENANAUBNvtGhk9T
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然後,就沒然後。653Please respect copyright.PENANAc56HJQPYui
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青青記得有一次,在某個群組裏看見一個酷似Matt的人,她馬上慌張,不斷對比,又點像、又有點不像,但她也不敢致電給他,怕會令事情變得更麻煩,只能問他:「宜家喺邊?」最後知道那個人不是他時,她鬆了一口來自身邊人平安的自私的氣。653Please respect copyright.PENANArBCyFK22MO
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後來,他們有見,臨走時,Matt還贈了青青一個擁抱;當時她還慶幸。653Please respect copyright.PENANAhoUXof0rnr
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再後來,青青知道,那個時候,Matt已有新歡。653Please respect copyright.PENANAM2NBj7czmA
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到昨天,青青大概了解來龍去脈後,她有後知後覺的晴天霹靂,甚至在豔陽下看見了閃電燦爛地纏繞她的脖子。653Please respect copyright.PENANANlSX5wYgX1
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Matt根本不在乎她生不生、死不死,他也不在意她過得怎樣——653Please respect copyright.PENANAbL2bQwzisS
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好?哦。653Please respect copyright.PENANANDYGsTsfV9
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不好?哦。653Please respect copyright.PENANAYmfWGOv92N
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在那些她異常煎熬的流淚夜晚裏,他已抱住新人流連極樂。653Please respect copyright.PENANAJ5kKNQQZyB
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再沒有希望和失望,只有絕望的感覺。653Please respect copyright.PENANA77NecbBKr2
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愛就是有這麼一種可愛可恨,快樂時,你被捧在手心,瞬間到達了天空之堂;一切快樂過後只得血腥的頹靡,愛人分開掌沿,你猝不及防地掉下去,狠狠跌落在萬里之下的廢置石泥地上,粉身碎骨地、摔死。653Please respect copyright.PENANAXgiT7nxUCC
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偏偏這次毫無美感的殘殺又是一種最乾脆利落的祭祀,爽快地悼念這死去的舊情,因為你清楚知道,自己不可能再活。653Please respect copyright.PENANA9u0uispFLs
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青青想證明、吃力、拼命地證明她也可以很好,如常生活。653Please respect copyright.PENANA7ZGjDLve81
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所以,她想找個人做愛,去證明她也可以很野性,填滿那一刻夾雜不同情緒的空虛和寂寞;她不是那個因認為自己年紀太小、所以想多等一下下、只願意替男伴口交的無趣女人。每次Matt射精在她的口裏,她都希望對方不要嫌棄自己的稚嫩。653Please respect copyright.PENANAv0hJNmws6k
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愛不到結果;653Please respect copyright.PENANAyYvrnJqO9Y
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但做愛有結果,生理分泌比甜言蜜語確切得多。人的一張嘴何有幾句真話。653Please respect copyright.PENANAwlZWr3XYne
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偏偏,青青本身不是特別開放的人,今早醒來,她就覺得好尷尬。以往沒和男友做的事,和朋友做了,以什麼的名義呢?653Please respect copyright.PENANAfzRuVvsHVk
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以「一時衝動」?如此,青青覺得自己對不起所有人,包括已與她無關的Matt,當然,最對不起的是阿樂。653Please respect copyright.PENANAdsjO5sV84R
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阿樂竟然真的喜歡她。為什麼呢?不是常常惦記舊日女神嗎?青青看得出來,有時她說了一些話時,他的神色奇怪地變了變,她問,他答是Tanya也說出類似的話;而此,足夠影響他的神緒,這是念記。653Please respect copyright.PENANAfUlt6YFmWM
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阿樂真的喜歡青青?她懷疑。653Please respect copyright.PENANANlVXOEY6Ee
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這友誼還純潔嗎?653Please respect copyright.PENANAB1aEIQnSuK
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阿樂也有想過這樣的問題:這友誼不會純潔。或者,這已很難是友誼。653Please respect copyright.PENANAQmmZ8Hlsvf
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因為他覺得,自己是喜歡她的。653Please respect copyright.PENANAfG3m37VB8V
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有些事,注定不可能再與以前一樣,因為他有得失心——653Please respect copyright.PENANAtFPDFEEJlu
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像他喜歡Tanya一樣。653Please respect copyright.PENANABwmfCtKE8j
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本來,就知道Tanya喜歡自說自話,情緒也較大起大落,他認真地將她當朋友看的時候,總是覺得隨她的意吧,由她怎樣講些他不清楚的事,他作為一個文靜的友人只偶爾給予反應。但是,當他發現自己喜歡了她,因為他已不止安於靜靜聽她講,反而開始有了表現的欲望,他也想令她了解自己,想被她稱讚和欣賞。653Please respect copyright.PENANAoMC6iB3VSz
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喜歡一個人以後,會有期望。653Please respect copyright.PENANAWdppFdma1b
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就算知道對方不喜歡自己,還是有種希望對方關注自己的盼望。有一次,Tanya能記住他的模型的型號名稱,他就已經非常開心;又有一隻,她下載了一款鋼琴App,阿樂在她面前完整地彈了一首大調曲子,她以崇拜的眼神看着他,甚至叫他教她,此後,他也下載了以方便二人對學。653Please respect copyright.PENANAqXWNHA2DxI
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這種期望很可怕,也會隨着沉沒成本的增加而提高;但現實卻在另一邊廂告訴你:653Please respect copyright.PENANAOAPNCItvrp
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都咁耐啦,女神都冇乜反應,啫係我要收皮?653Please respect copyright.PENANAyHAJp7EY66
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落差感很重。653Please respect copyright.PENANAdF9DumDmRR
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如同阿樂覺得,明明他已與青青享受過親密和激情,她卻不要他的承諾……653Please respect copyright.PENANACsuNtmFp1u
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等吓啦?等到佢Recover,我哋先傾呢個問題?653Please respect copyright.PENANAfaPra1XznX
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Sorry,俾多啲時間我諗清楚我想點先……653Please respect copyright.PENANA0PrW2Zx2iA
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