「咁你呢，又點呀？」755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIgd5vDiYHJ
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOSmcARrwvB
阿樂問。這段時間，他和青青接觸得不多，他們的吃飯時間，各有各。755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcCnyyrBQOy
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgimUKSYpna
「托賴，幾好吖。」755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwULzJqPwaU
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO1DcWtqIjY
「你咁樣叫幾好？咪玩啦。」755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡotmK8dzlwl
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzzOuIqKY1D
即使不夠光，但阿樂還是看得出青青的憔悴，突然又說：「上磅睇吓。」755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoCzbdxsdvv
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2QSirOz1Ay
阿樂想確認是不是他的錯覺——他覺得青青越來越瘦。755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtuGU2wgZW8
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7zTxeS0sdA
然後搬出體重磅，叫她站上去，電子屏幕顯示37.1kg，身高只得米五多一點的她其實不特別瘦，只是脂肪輕。755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuPmfYb0Ykv
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjcTSgpuCUq
「搞咩啊，宜家仲要係夜晚，啫係已經重咗……755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi6G3qgnkte
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqp9S0jPfnD
我煮啲飯唔好食咩？你遲啲返到屋企，你阿媽會唔會以為我哋唔俾飽飯你食㗎？」755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSadWDsL7qp
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjjNveTUPAr
阿樂卻知道她的臉一點點地削下去，原本包得很的圓臉已經消減，和她Instagram的舊相差很遠。755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEZHLzUqsvv
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ZUNVSS4m4
「好食吖，已經慢慢食多咗㗎啦！未到啫未到啫。」她說。755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzneMymagne
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡde03tgg7Kk
失戀之後，青青的身體差了很多。晚上失眠只在被窩裏漆黑地消耗入睡的耐心，入睡之後卻不斷醒來，有時被雨聲吵醒，有時是發夢嚇醒，有時就是不知何故就醒，每天都只能睡一會兒。755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhyJZZrUdJy
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCKjFHfeh6B
白天的胃口不是特別好，總感覺整個人都很暈。755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfjdHK18VPp
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBtC8bvIovX
她有吃飯，但也就是為了活命吃的，有時感覺不到餓就隨便吃兩口，即使阿樂煮得很好。晚上又會忽然有心癮暴食，吃完之後又覺得愧疚。755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡef0k5iGUFq
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaRfuU0mNYY
她的憔悴體現在臉上，眼皮的膠原蛋白流失，眼窩就變深，令她的雙眼皮有點老氣。黑眼圈也明顯，連上眼皮都像塗了大地色系眼影一樣。755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyh1x4WmrVh
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf0G7trMioU
月經來了一個多星期後，下體又少量出血，不知何故；頭髮大把大把的掉，面臨少年脫髮危機；胃在反覆的飽和餓之間，經常隱隱作痛。755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡztWHNYaJBg
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg2SFgfTwK3
每天都不想做任何事。755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcGLLqOnOOJ
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7t2yMJVJ0u
如果看數字，她確實跌磅了，上年的八月她比現在重五公斤。755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXjWDprjhCj
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWMiJRYko5T
明明，她是她家人、朋友的寶，為什麼要這樣自我折磨呢？看來脫落的不只是曲折的頭髮，看來還有智商和理智……755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2DZZ3LUh1V
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlKaeAwYxVA
明明，她很清楚，就算她橫屍街頭，已離棄她的人都不會在意，最多像看新聞那樣心裏閃過一刻的惻然，假裝悲情地歎一口氣，然後遺忘她的存在、過自己的快活日子。755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJhAjPynaRu
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIxaBJ1HxEW
阿樂向青青投向懷疑的眼神，她再強調：755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY38vBlh6jn
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzTZRWz6D2V
「放心啦，邊睇得出。而且，我已經有食返多啲嘢啦。」755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9kMcp2sntg
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY2jaj97SSs
「係咪酸嘢易入口啲？聽日煲番茄湯？」755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡocuW9gHcUr
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9laxhNBEuJ
「好——」她的聲音戛然而止，又說：「我諗緊聽日出唔出街。」755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡICSQdnwB3u
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKzZY4oJwYm
最近的好多事，她都不想和好朋友說，因為其實也只是小事吧；而且，她的驕傲不允許她說太多真心的脆弱。755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO3REx8AhGU
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6WI2IGhFk4
此刻的環境，如阿樂剖白心聲那樣，感染了她，突然覺得晚上就應該大肆地分享，好的壞的也是。阿樂和她只相識了兩個月，她感覺可以在他面前不用握緊無謂的自尊。755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSOF9hGfIRr
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtvnJZNYgPK
何況，他們如此親厚。755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡepvLMcdGUN
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWdFnXz2YEv
阿樂問：「去邊？」755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTCSuH0GSWr
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXESaEIAFqz
青青站起，去房拿出電話，決定給阿樂看她的WhatsApp對話。755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9kcxghkB3d
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu8Z7uW8wBc
她的一個中學同學Sean，從朋友處知道她失戀，然後開始頻繁地找她聊天，講一些曖昧的話。755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwfDZ49qz3h
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡac1fPVuC5d
青青直接問：「你想媾我？」755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdAVJCoLMNY
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl4cJRxXqu6
Sean回答：755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB9DocA4aQN
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRl2YcVBZxY
「係。755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5hIiNNWdA0
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdaTermX2Vi
以前中學嗰陣我已經鍾意你，諗住DSE完就同你表白。但你嗰時已經有男朋友。所以，我都係冇講到出口，淨係Grad Din嗰陣揾咗你影相。」755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9maxoNnSDe
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf57QUQhW5R
隔了兩小時，Sean見青青未有回覆，又道：755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU72Rz7du2R
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEhApHUleHU
「不如我哋聽日出嚟食餐飯？」755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa0hkGspdxz
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Ut3mKQGPi
阿樂看完後，說：「佢都幾積極吖，去吓囉。」755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9pflxHEmgq
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgSyTtPC6hw
他完全沒有吃醋、難過。他認清，情感一時的高温驅使他對青青有意，但短短十幾天的時間已足以冷卻。反而，如今她聽他講心事，他也想做一樣的事。755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkwyloyeuEG
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSeQm5i3rCX
「唔知啊……好突然啊好似。」755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeitHAJjvEc
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTZtaJ6d6vd
除了通識分組同一班、初中曾經同過班，青青和Sean根本沒有太多接觸，她都不知道他喜歡她什麼。不，應該說，她都不太認識Sean，她只知他成績不錯、朋友不少；長相若不是查看了Instagram，可能也陌生得記不起來。755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrpU6Er6ZsH
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk6IDPrSksR
「想試咪去囉。」阿樂鼓勵。755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr4QuT9kbpa
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo2kHbjxMiT
「想試啊，但係，又唔敢。」青青停頓數秒，又講：「都係算啦，唔會得㗎啦。」755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ46DRvWBDgA
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsEfA0f9DPl
她突然直覺和Sean不會後續了，她突然覺得毫無心思，在這寧靜的空間裏，分辨自己的念頭。她回覆Sean：755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5aPpG4sJVV
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpcKnY2zMXv
「Sorry，我唔想。多謝你。」755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3SeAxvn1rp
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH99NNfBysC
阿樂邊看青青看電話，邊調侃她：755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLx1I1jwP6
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ87TYpLN1FF
「咁我咪好好彩，話哂你都肯試。」755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcovwb7n5Ip
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhEmwHyTrz6
「係呀係呀。」她也笑。755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwBQRNbHR0n
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIGPiWgKvYQ
阿樂質疑：755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK6whAW7kQA
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgOlJqdLPcu
「點解唔敢呀？唔係叫我狗衝㗎咩，要勇敢㗎嘛？」755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3dCixb4rHI
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUXNhqie5NY
青青思考，然後緩緩地道：755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb1uDgeBoxn
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbqvChuAb4u
「我好驚啊因為。我太垃圾啦。755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5f7YpRI2Wa
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbOgFIAgVmZ
啫係，我成日都覺得，無論幾鍾意都好，最後都係會走咁。我頂唔順呀，我份人好撚老土㗎！拍拖要拍到八十歲，一生一世㗎嘛。但可能，真係太天真，宜家又仲咁後生。755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjfKqXYfv1j
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs3l2wiY3Zj
我好唔鍾意呢一個過程——好唔容易先至全心全意認定一個人，由冷漠去到開始熱情、開始信任對方，然後佢就走咗去。其實係咪我問題？係唔係好易接受㗎？755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1dP6x9T3V5
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTUhSgeKFal
因為佢，好似一啲都冇唔捨得我啊。」755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZL60JWGYmA
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOlrjb7QmDS
青青緊盯前方的電視，阿樂見狀，突然醒起什麼似的，開啟電視，又放了一隻DVD進去。755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtCVcZyoumR
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi8yDYjo225
畫面出現一個火爐，火在熊熊燃燒。755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM0Jtbp0lJL
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdgqplyLlq2
「搞咩啊？」青青不解。755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmN18l7Ez5h
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡduUn2oHIWj
「之前買咗呢隻碟，播住睇，感覺個人會温暖啲。」755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡARfSRXRGls
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvi8AM8YBc2
「宜家夏天喎Ching！」755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN6zpeHPE0s
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYHnQ7RZLR2
「你個心咁凍，啱㗎啦。」755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA6b4On4aqS
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0jZTDrmYm7
阿樂微笑，青青覺得很奇異。755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuB0eD2hY5F
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH0qBjjZArL
電視上的火光在搖動，映在了他們的眼裏，也透着橙紅色的活潑。755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9NzBlUmwL0
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKHOeLvVyCQ
「OK啦。」她的心沒有變暖，但確實覺得很有趣，竟有人花錢買這種碟看。755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT9zvWGz811
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgPI7olLgxR
「因為咁，所以唔信人？」755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡySr6ug5THz
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1LarXAoajU
阿樂回到剛才的話題，青青正色：755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYMqoGBW14k
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb146EPHXWO
「係啊，好似覺得，無論對方幾愛，到最後都係會走。佢夠話愛我一生一世啦，夠話以後淨係愛我一個啦……起初唔信㗎我，後來我信，之後佢就飛咗我啦。755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyKhuy9Ck6w
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0wI2kY9hqv
頂……我成個怨婦咁。」755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNDHDncFthm
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTS97WImsqH
青青自嘲。乾癟癟地「哈」了一下。755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoy27DJFUtc
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKbzPxTPx5o
她發現自己有些恐懼。755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpiI9cp5eir
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU64hH95V2l
到底，曾經甜蜜如Matt的愛意，最後也化煙。明明是Matt追求青青、首先表達愛意，亦在戀愛中對她極好，令信心不足的她從懷疑到沉淪。755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjIMl0mAj0A
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7a4DKsrozW
明明是他先到來入侵她的生活。仿佛，二人為新居添置不同的傢俬和私人物品一樣，眼見室內環境已經非常完善；但他宣佈要走，隨即撤離其私人物品，卻留下共同購買的傢俬，供她睹物思人、念記舊時歡喜；她卻因這居室過分和暖而心無怨懟，無法盡興地發洩情緒，獨得傷心在無眠夜裏壓着她。755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS1nWXINdx8
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiYY5wJGeG7
最後，Matt離開。755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2tCqtdne8F
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQI4sIHi6We
她可笑地見證了這一段關係的興落，從築起到繁華，最終傾頹。755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfcHlJRwFbg
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUDmpTdWfyh
她始知，原來，愛情是這樣的一回事。愛，兩個人，開心，然後不開心。某些Happy ending，唯有期望將來會有。755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD4uILITVoO
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTfHMB81N07
阿樂破了她的處，沒有令她長大，那不過是幾個姿勢、幾番高潮、幾潭愛液，處女膜破裂，只是暫時的生理性疼痛。755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOIBBkou4J1
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtkExmd1scu
但是，Matt的光臨與離任，真令她成為大人——不是好人、不是壞人，僅僅是一個「大人」，她開始明白許多道理，那些她有過的天真的熱愛，都冷硬起來，被摔到地上粉碎得無法拼湊，像攤開手就忘情飛揚的骨灰。755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6eRUh0rGTE
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfPo0o6cxsp
是Matt教青青：愛情世界是殘酷的。曾經她想像過的一生一世，其實只是童話般的幻想……755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡopSgvrTcfg
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDepV36XZuH
而他們，已過了讀童話的心境了，因只想窺探幸福快樂之後的日子。755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRVDBkibwsn
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQu3q6Cgd4m
阿樂只好拍拍青青的肩。755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYHTWoXxNSJ
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfeyY1ovsno
此時，阿樂又冷不防地說了一句：755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWUw3h0zO1G
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiJHZlYm34V
「佢嗰句『Love you forever』，可能係Made in China。」755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMeMYWjHv5x
755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMLIWuoO4ii
青青被此話篤中笑點，覺得很抵死。
Penana
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