Since the big cry fest over four weeks ago, my life has pretty much gone back to its usual state. I hardly even remember it anymore. I continue to work, eat, sleep, and shut the world out as I usually would.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJyp7XckSi
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Cc5p40Pm8
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyz8SsEXlO3
There's only one minute problem; I've been avoiding David, and I'm sure as hell that he's noticed. How could he not notice that I haven't been available in over a month?557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJI8IoQ465Z
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCy9R9pmsak
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFoWabkDCSn
I let his calls ring out, and I don't call him back. I don't reply to his texts, or his WhatsApp messages. 557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZt8CuD65of
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjPninXW3e
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbn1jkpmn4L
It's pathetic, really, but who can blame me? That night, I realised that I was beginning to feel something very strong for him, and I also realised that he had already begun to feel that way a long time ago.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZFM3vTClv2
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjiWZau6C4f
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYl9YYNYEHt
as long as you stay here with me557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhuXCNw5UNP
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwO0Y4HqBk6
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmlxozA7OFR
That's what he said after the wedding. He meant more than what was happening in that moment. I could feel it, and that night at Poetic Justice, I could see the way he looked at me, as if I meant the world to him.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYQec7vZf6w
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGsdIpJsXHt
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM9EJhn7t5I
This has to stop.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbwMDHDIPva
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWOgXxuJ2MP
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3gK63OPUHZ
I sit on the edge of my bed and stretch, feeling that sharp pain in my pelvis again, and I yelp. It's been happening more frequently now, and it's getting worse. I really need to eat more.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS24BBzJywr
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyxVt1zf4rm
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaGAgGlTBbS
I get up, not knowing what I'm going to do today — I have no work — so I go to make some coffee. I'm just about to pick up the jar that is now placed safely on my kitchen counter, rather than high up in a cupboard, when I hear knocking on the door. Somehow, I know that it's him; it's as if I can feel his energy through the door. Still, as I pull the door open, I didn't expect his expression to be so... worried. My first guess would've been that he was angry, but here stands before me, a man who looks like he is on the verge of shitting himself.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJfr5eyQ8Yc
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWTfpuyU2r6
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwZeKNkPpam
"Are you okay?"557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDerxtlwLuD
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtVMwXmJdFt
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡca2rHWEdfg
"Yeah," I say letting out a heavy sigh. It seems as if every time I think of him, he appears. "We need to talk."557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZgOMtnFCa3
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKSRz5GrVwb
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxxZNSSVJVE
I step aside to let him pass, and follow him to sit on one of the couches.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1zUwCzJBOt
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcYwg3ZN650
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhM9r5HHXK2
What the hell am I supposed to say? I don't love you? You're better of without me? It's not you, it's me? 557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3sTbxIJiHG
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSX5ma0Z8EV
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe1619Krlkd
Instead of going with any of those options, I choose the best thing that I can think of.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4KzsgVoC1O
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl15CC5QdFG
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYfaX917cEO
"I don't want to do this anymore," I say to him, sounding like Rihanna.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6eLFV2bLIr
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfTtdeDRMst
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJxTgr72WRf
I don't want to hurt you anymore. I can't give you what you need.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Pn6Dib5y7
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmFisVUkcjh
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtHckzvGHTC
His eyebrows knot together in confusion. "Do what?"557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFFiy7Elatg
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHMLPCAF8gg
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXTyVrpYVXB
"Us," I say, but he still looks confused, so I decide to elaborate. "I can't give you what you want."557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrFHZTo9TXB
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5HY5ftHSGE
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA8PFBSdVe1
He puts his hand on his forehead and rubs it, letting out a sigh.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5LwPJe3FWJ
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Kw0hGw0Xt
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡljK13e3nUP
"Yes, you can."557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpuoNGRYgCh
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtKdJr9z8Bh
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTUPPhHr2lS
"David—" I interrupt, because to be honest, I'm tired of people telling me what I can and can't do; but then he throws something at me that I didn't see coming.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡegUEeFjq8S
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu9RFyw2jsS
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm3TBehNrFq
"You can, but you don't want to. You're holding on to the past. There's a difference."557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8AGfgkCWfP
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAB6gqpg85D
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡau7GYL6acn
All of this is said with a look of sympathy on his face.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwtuinqdAbN
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyqH5qCNtoA
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFarewQKjN6
To be honest, I can't tell him that he's lying, because he isn't. That's exactly what I'm doing; holding on to the past, to my dead lover who's ashes are kept in an urn under my bed, who I will never see again; but there's more to it. 557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPCNH5kQOJb
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPJrO8Uw5bV
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy6ggcQKgvO
I'm afraid to love again. I'm afraid to lose again. If felt enough pain to last me an infinite amount of lifetimes and then some.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZyz2UwKv23
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdNJN3s1gm7
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOG73PIwNfd
"You're holding on to the past," he says, repeating himself. "I get it. You love him, probably infinitely more than you could ever love me; but do you really want to spend the rest of your life alone? Would he have wanted that?"557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhNZwIWfF7Y
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3k6yPRxKds
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmUEggHugFI
I stop and think for a second. Would Andrew have wanted that?557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxEEYsR8O7G
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKnkwmJpJel
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwYgn5IvNW3
No, he wouldn't, because the last thing he said to me was "be happy, for me; live, for me." 557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhXfXrPn306
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6AvVcXuIVG
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2FkdfhbXaf
I'm a disappointment to my dead boyfriend, because I can't get over my dead boyfriend. This is so fucked up.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ90K65i5yWQ
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEy7EUrrcFc
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZT5PtlW6n
I don't even realise that I'm sobbing until I'm in David's arms, and my face is in his chest; he's rubbing circles into the small of my back, just like he did four weeks ago.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡotV1Q7JUoP
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2OEPmX1AET
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9JXYC0YQBf
The sobs wrack my body so hard that my pelvis starts to hurt again, which causes me to groan.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4wZvokeSpf
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJfDvm88aDp
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJYoU5lirgU
"What's wrong?" 557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuSGKMHH3f8
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0HbPjZD9Mo
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM9PqsMUEVr
I take a few deep breaths, so that I can calm down; each time my breath hitches, I feel that sharp pain again.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFENXbeY37z
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7z0bfceYqj
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS2HXZ1BWf9
Once the sobs stop, leaving only tears flowing from my eyes, I speak.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuGyoVqFEjn
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVOj83HI6oT
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdxcC4vPASW
"My pelvis hurts. I feel pains whenever I don't eat enough."557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiIXXmbUotz
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡat7ZI2oz6V
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCwWBM02MbO
He gives me a disapproving look.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEYRrvsYsog
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ90MHP0caFp
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzUo5MBuq4K
"Are you anorexic?"557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1jNC9zoqQD
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd0zuc1XHDs
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYtCcoEfSD5
"Oh, god, no. I just only eat when I feel the urge to. The problem is that sometimes I feel the urge to eat once a day, or I feel hungry and I don't want to eat solid food, but there's no liquid food in the house. Other times, I stuff my face like a pig."557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMjLvbSWrMA
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡohVnXSu9kY
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgq3RMxeZO6
He looks at me like I'm the strangest creature on earth.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFfjnZoRsLc
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡze6kmrED5M
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw7nQQdp6hD
"Okay," he says in a resigned tone.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAvxMhJncXy
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXQgwvK1mfs
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyAV5FPW0bx
The tears are slowing down now, and I'm beginning to realise that David isn't going to just evaporate into thin air because I order him to.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC5h3nwh8Fv
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ03BKgMH9VZ
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMkrkp4cw2D
Almost as if he hears me, he smiles at me and says, "I'm not going anywhere, babe."557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4rU2Do7J9u
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnVm6Y45476
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAi0x6jLaGB
Not yet ready to accept that, I let out a sigh — then wince when my pelvis hurts again.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx66ivP7HG5
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR00JptGQrd
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs5ZColzwT8
I ignore it.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuGgBAJ76yq
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMYS0gevS3O
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡImEwBWjqFB
"I don't want to get hurt again."557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡusV5LNCBVg
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoZH8wt61vJ
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtt6UGuouWl
At this, he has nothing to say. What can he do? Promise me that he won't die? That would be a lie.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcptigyYETc
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ZtPc4gsHO
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjx6PFJ6Vd2
"I won't let that happen, and I can't give you what you want. I can't give you love."557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhmpWdi2OjO
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡReDZOw7MEH
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ79jaFx38dc
He knows that he can't give me a legitimate reply to that. I've lost every important person in my life. He can't ask me to risk that happening again by becoming close to yet another person.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡONIeKLx2DK
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdpKJYoIqom
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbSv1EOfRJh
"This is why I don't have friends. I don't date. I live on my own. I just cannot endure any more pain, David. Love is a weakness; it it my weakness. It feels amazing when you're with the person, but at that funeral? You feel so distraught, so hurt, you're in so much pain, that you feel as if you're being tortured to the point of death, but you aren't dying; you're stuck on the threshold between life and death yourself.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhtfO1HMB3E
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUhVoFlwTiH
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJZdrMsb6K
"When I love someone, I do it with my whole heart. Whether it is my friend, family or lover, it consumes me. I can't help it; so when I lose that person, it is absolutely devastating. I can't do it again.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK72PTZ7jh2
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdzoVSDfoLG
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEnXbAR9wXA
"So please leave, David, because these feelings that I have? I refuse to allow them to blossom into full blown love, and I don't want to hurt you anymore than I already inevitably have."557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8LICXEWje8
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMbzOd1skny
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcRGcMP1hKq
He gets up, and I can see the hurt in his eyes, but I can also see the understanding. It feels like it takes years for him to cross the room and make it to the door.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9EiibXlLVt
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡseXIuOTcwc
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJO8Z76KJS4
As he opens the door to leave, I know that I have done the right thing; I couldn't use him anymore.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4o7GN0BVlC
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD2oJb93rlu
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡby127Lxkiu
So why is it that I felt the urge to call him back?557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkIEHoITKsj
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBJjRJiKYJ9
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4jeLFiLi7V
***557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡREPcYpcX7f
For the past two days, I've been doing everything to get David out of my mind; and I've been epically failing. Every time that it is most inconvenient for me, he just pops up into my head, out of nowhere.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGapuhvXzzi
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo0Wz0KtBiF
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzEufhYhyKV
For example, right now, I'm at a photo shoot for a man who wanted a few portraits of himself, and I can't see the subject through the viewfinder.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ66JHxb1tjd
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWJZVBQP8ZA
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqNhniMzCae
"Excuse me, can I get a glass of water? I'm parched."557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsRtT9Iv3sK
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNvuZ3x82nz
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvJECLOF4yJ
He smiles at me.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2SI0K6Duyw
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsRk4UkmPGn
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnzEOEFXQfv
"Sure, hon."557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDBF8v5Ro51
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMWiH1QAuw3
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIytKVbR0gb
He walks off, and like the masochist I am, I pull out my phone and read David's messages. So much for trying to forget him.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡffg0fbSjjJ
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtkPjTo4Nv4
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkw5mEQHxi0
The very first ones:557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUVs3pvmww2
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQh2EYi4cyA
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkYAFMWMd9s
Hey! I miss you.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡglPcMMOyPO
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI9Zv2CpY5u
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaFtElG5A1x
How about you come over to my house and sit on my face? 👅💦😉557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnPbZhLsDey
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡInkQG0mZTQ
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSB3woZquYF
Leah, I have a special present for you... 🍆💦557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8JoI4okNw
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFM6oRAm6u4
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS0GaCyfpMN
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKzgcq6Mi45
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRlZmEaPnaR
Then, when he realised that I wasn't reading or replying to my texts:557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1IcJFEto2H
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvUNGeiqgGg
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5mb1rNlMGB
Hey babe, why aren't you answering my texts?557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhseoPcyZhv
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡineOIFtccG
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcdOFQYR4UW
Are you okay?557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJS2OHBbDrj
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrGvxsJS33r
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJSckcYdlHh
Did I do something to piss you off?557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqUizRFvlnR
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAim9nUSLuk
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCBqiHFrdib
Then, he caught on to the real reason why I wasn't replying:557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH1Ne0WfVD3
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkT86EhLat3
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSHanjV11gB
If it's about the other night, please remember, it's okay to feel.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl5a35kBnps
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeXXHyVrHnT
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdBcPvPhXNk
Then, something that caught me completely off guard:557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4x8HTUX21J
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8bBtk4DH7H
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtsQC7HJMxn
Leah, I've peen wanting to tell you this for a while; I wanted to tell you this at the poetry night, but I didn't know how. I love you.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtCc0RleTS3
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqsJOb5muJ5
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOpdxgBz9hj
Suddenly, it feels as if all of the oxygen has been removed from the air; as if I'm dying from CO2 poisoning, and my heart is beating so hard and fast, it feels as if it is trying to jackhammer its way out of my chest.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJILznDpBD
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDBXvNLUgQC
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1iXW0wDF3Q
"No," I whisper, my voice cracking, and I let out a sob when I work out the date on which he sent the text. 557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL8eIFmV8MA
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdIcMKBYopJ
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdLnEUAivVz
Two weeks before he came to see me. 557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ41tiW2GvnK
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡokHB99VmQu
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr9ydsf93F5
Of course, my fucking pelvis begins to act up again, but the pain is barely noticeable over the pain I feel at knowing the extent to which I've hurt him. I knew that he felt strongly about me, but love?557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRdCvpY5EdJ
557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB4rEKUJU7R
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"Leah?" Trevor says, with the glass of water in his hand.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWIxHHMeh7P
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I wipe my face quickly.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs0XPSfBFL4
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"It's okay. I'm fine."557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr9b1G4umWT
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"You don't look fine," he says, with concern on his face, handing me the water.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuU2yIQatqU
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"Don't worry about me. Lets get back to work."557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvog3Z9TT5U
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***557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgW1izpFSob
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I'm in David's driveway. I know I shouldn't be here after promising myself that I'll leave him alone, but I feel as if I have to say something to him after reading his confession, even though I know that seeing him in person again will probably end badly for both of us.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDd3kIs8cqv
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Still, I called him to inform him that I wanted to talk, and he invited me over.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfw7VbYQ9Zj
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I can't get out of the car. I'm fucking nervous out of my mind. What the hell am I supposed to even say to him? 557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ1J9IjICBS
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I don't even realise how long I've been here, until I here knocking on my car window. I jump slightly, yelping in fright, before realising that it's only David. I open the car door slowly.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjQF5XGOsyw
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"I was beginning to wonder if you were going to spend the night in the car," he comments.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlvou9qgSDF
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I close my eyes as I stand and lock my car.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOdF5kuhp85
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"You finally read my messages," he states.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2iuGj0Q4cL
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"Yes," I reply, realising that the ticks must have turned blue.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgtujGy8ej9
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I just look at him, and he looks back. Now that I'm looking for it, I can see it plain as day. He loves me. 557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO7nN5lBH1M
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If I'm going to be honest, I should've seen this one coming. He always wants to cuddle, he always looks for an excuse to sleep in the same bed as me. Now that I think about it, most men who are trying to keep feelings out of a relationship would rather sleep on their couch.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEtYuUpX1D8
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He fucking stalked me, followed me to a water party.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjBc9HtVkky
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"When did you start having feelings for me?"557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡba1zXLKT3K
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He exhales loudly, and then looks at me as if he knows that I won't like the answer.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg82o3euu9T
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"That night that we had dinner together, right here."557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxBAteEY7R7
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Wow. That was an actual date. A romantic date. I feel like a dumb fuck.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzzxfiOmtpX
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He loves me, but I don't love him. Despite the fact that I feel drawn to him, the fact that I want him, not just sexually, I don't love him. Not yet.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQGSyMWAbi
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I'm attached; I swore that I wouldn't let this happen, but I've become emotionally attached. 557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK4IV4ebGTq
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"Leah, are you really sure that you want to spend the rest of your life alone?" he asks, interrupting my train of thought. I can't even think about the weight of that question, because he continues.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZhdgX6Sgdx
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"You say that you're afraid of pain, but right now, you're hurting yourself. You aren't happy. I know it's nothing compared to the pain of losing someone, but at least when you let other people in, you'll have some light, people to laugh with and cry with. 557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlTBOm9QeGx
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So I'm asking you again: do you want to spend the rest of your life alone?"557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0wadBa0LHy
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I look at him, and I can't say anything; I'm speechless. Everything he just said makes sense, and it hurts, because I know that either way, I'm screwed. 557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ065Qhwx3mV
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If I say "no", he'll hold onto it the way that Jack should have held on to that lifeboat in Titanic, and if I say "yes", that may not be completely true, because I don't know anymore. I hate being alone, but I fear emotional pain. 557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkjYFfjCt0Y
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I just stand there, silent. Instead of trying to talk, I do the only thing that I can do in this moment; I hug him, and to my elation, he wholeheartedly returns the gesture.557Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8k38lPykBJ
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Happy Valentines Day! ❤️😘💋
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