Since the big cry fest over four weeks ago, my life has pretty much gone back to its usual state. I hardly even remember it anymore. I continue to work, eat, sleep, and shut the world out as I usually would.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ98zaRcWbSB
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuKaePNTzMd
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwWZiyi6BFe
There's only one minute problem; I've been avoiding David, and I'm sure as hell that he's noticed. How could he not notice that I haven't been available in over a month?637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrHjxSHvbJH
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAiNwvm601j
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbliwcNchWQ
I let his calls ring out, and I don't call him back. I don't reply to his texts, or his WhatsApp messages. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9KU8eTcLBK
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVD3VSGemtV
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWhVSVGkNPR
It's pathetic, really, but who can blame me? That night, I realised that I was beginning to feel something very strong for him, and I also realised that he had already begun to feel that way a long time ago.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6OHkii6bR9
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnxTWNKJoLc
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡijkQOBoH9R
as long as you stay here with me637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg6dZPzKpJX
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4WTWsoROTw
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb1eiwRWk7O
That's what he said after the wedding. He meant more than what was happening in that moment. I could feel it, and that night at Poetic Justice, I could see the way he looked at me, as if I meant the world to him.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX81z29NgmN
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1VEsWbHOnI
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7cYOFOZ6At
This has to stop.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4xJDuUfzNU
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwEtA0RSfmV
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB2aU9eOnGx
I sit on the edge of my bed and stretch, feeling that sharp pain in my pelvis again, and I yelp. It's been happening more frequently now, and it's getting worse. I really need to eat more.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT6BvsZNNb3
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7555rjhKIl
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtDyZIjA7ux
I get up, not knowing what I'm going to do today — I have no work — so I go to make some coffee. I'm just about to pick up the jar that is now placed safely on my kitchen counter, rather than high up in a cupboard, when I hear knocking on the door. Somehow, I know that it's him; it's as if I can feel his energy through the door. Still, as I pull the door open, I didn't expect his expression to be so... worried. My first guess would've been that he was angry, but here stands before me, a man who looks like he is on the verge of shitting himself.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkuCRrTN5vr
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjpQ2dzNhRe
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFyqXryPoQ3
"Are you okay?"637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNJWBs3ojR
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2rbViequNy
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg9sTZhzZRI
"Yeah," I say letting out a heavy sigh. It seems as if every time I think of him, he appears. "We need to talk."637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkJ4VeF3rFn
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo3ob4VQCHc
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtftMVN6Qiy
I step aside to let him pass, and follow him to sit on one of the couches.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjyrmHZXoAX
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZUzSxISWwu
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5IRcwZux5n
What the hell am I supposed to say? I don't love you? You're better of without me? It's not you, it's me? 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEageypUQuH
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3xdo2K5l3q
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe0Emr2LLLA
Instead of going with any of those options, I choose the best thing that I can think of.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB6JFzh8lgY
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLdw1f4LOZe
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGXRSdB8irc
"I don't want to do this anymore," I say to him, sounding like Rihanna.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8yp4rEapXZ
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDSCY8weZb8
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkXTVSS60Rs
I don't want to hurt you anymore. I can't give you what you need.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyVLedi2aVn
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvO5CjBclMn
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQqDK46cDl
His eyebrows knot together in confusion. "Do what?"637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡin48VPw4PH
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcxkWCZae5i
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8jIkyx8cE8
"Us," I say, but he still looks confused, so I decide to elaborate. "I can't give you what you want."637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEVRKSkQhBN
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJhpippSvHm
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoojnboBSbm
He puts his hand on his forehead and rubs it, letting out a sigh.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIPgRVadrEc
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIaJVRWXSDk
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiX5DfU9PQ9
"Yes, you can."637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpvGbGz6dmD
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0OXFM8oDn1
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JxNgaLgxs
"David—" I interrupt, because to be honest, I'm tired of people telling me what I can and can't do; but then he throws something at me that I didn't see coming.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ40sXiXAJ99
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7S9qiCgXDJ
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAA1wau9aBH
"You can, but you don't want to. You're holding on to the past. There's a difference."637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKkTDMYsUfr
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRqdnBEpjZu
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGIjep8re7H
All of this is said with a look of sympathy on his face.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVhUYiOuXJA
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB3SLnnqb2O
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCh0glQJtGw
To be honest, I can't tell him that he's lying, because he isn't. That's exactly what I'm doing; holding on to the past, to my dead lover who's ashes are kept in an urn under my bed, who I will never see again; but there's more to it. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhIx9Sw2gBc
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsC4roPeqZs
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOcWLcCdOjL
I'm afraid to love again. I'm afraid to lose again. If felt enough pain to last me an infinite amount of lifetimes and then some.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfmXnq2KtPU
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm9g7DRnbPh
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8K6ECxO5mn
"You're holding on to the past," he says, repeating himself. "I get it. You love him, probably infinitely more than you could ever love me; but do you really want to spend the rest of your life alone? Would he have wanted that?"637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtqASDMOHzT
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4K9KRfxDcC
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFqTsOyrHnw
I stop and think for a second. Would Andrew have wanted that?637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3fCxHpSRgl
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8PpgJqxIgE
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgfe82mjggp
No, he wouldn't, because the last thing he said to me was "be happy, for me; live, for me." 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj3ayGgiDCb
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdCLiSQEeMz
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIEvPwRzf41
I'm a disappointment to my dead boyfriend, because I can't get over my dead boyfriend. This is so fucked up.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqvL8Ia2Sf1
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS7jm1C4EKp
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpw3NkBJV8J
I don't even realise that I'm sobbing until I'm in David's arms, and my face is in his chest; he's rubbing circles into the small of my back, just like he did four weeks ago.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡipWfD9UDa0
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4RSUT2jQBj
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRv3ZiAF0Zy
The sobs wrack my body so hard that my pelvis starts to hurt again, which causes me to groan.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ342QXPL8UU
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDXwNqrHB5h
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvXa1MjqSGq
"What's wrong?" 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNtrtYlcnWW
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrjz1UfeTsp
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXC5LVNvt9U
I take a few deep breaths, so that I can calm down; each time my breath hitches, I feel that sharp pain again.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLhOdjPrARK
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8HVO2FO1Oc
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpLT0A96ywk
Once the sobs stop, leaving only tears flowing from my eyes, I speak.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdmiGAnC7ph
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuv3khoffKY
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2PJqKJp19D
"My pelvis hurts. I feel pains whenever I don't eat enough."637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN4xDoZvTTA
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5rLkV2XXwA
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQaINN3OuFB
He gives me a disapproving look.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwufHAzmof
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Z98F1ZTv1
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVoW42lm6dJ
"Are you anorexic?"637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8gWmeYF9TL
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8rE3vx6Ghm
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBGke2VpxIy
"Oh, god, no. I just only eat when I feel the urge to. The problem is that sometimes I feel the urge to eat once a day, or I feel hungry and I don't want to eat solid food, but there's no liquid food in the house. Other times, I stuff my face like a pig."637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTRfs0qagxQ
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk8eCqhGfqt
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAO6ZuexLr9
He looks at me like I'm the strangest creature on earth.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAvejSFjfRN
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ89zogarmle
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPK31XfNfJ6
"Okay," he says in a resigned tone.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnM5Ghg4So9
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrO0d0IXwgV
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHfbLSKrdgP
The tears are slowing down now, and I'm beginning to realise that David isn't going to just evaporate into thin air because I order him to.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVfT3Su4g1v
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS6lnZcvXzS
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1E10dz3mH5
Almost as if he hears me, he smiles at me and says, "I'm not going anywhere, babe."637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVlB5KBvny6
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9DPcBqpz2U
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWwfiJOoa8D
Not yet ready to accept that, I let out a sigh — then wince when my pelvis hurts again.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMnnXXh1IKG
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjrcb9IJjo
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5T0UhGVut4
I ignore it.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXed16gpzd3
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJQ8ev9nR5
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7IxvMQaKub
"I don't want to get hurt again."637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdAOWIZt5ul
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqAEigGTxGk
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEkTUnAkgV4
At this, he has nothing to say. What can he do? Promise me that he won't die? That would be a lie.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoNHhVbxPSo
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZxWffYSeGZ
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8oliPYEWdj
"I won't let that happen, and I can't give you what you want. I can't give you love."637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡasDoqYiroA
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdcQMVZPJE7
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA9ICpHXpLt
He knows that he can't give me a legitimate reply to that. I've lost every important person in my life. He can't ask me to risk that happening again by becoming close to yet another person.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwxxhVTCZ6u
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzihWWEgmFC
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdibe5FnS1T
"This is why I don't have friends. I don't date. I live on my own. I just cannot endure any more pain, David. Love is a weakness; it it my weakness. It feels amazing when you're with the person, but at that funeral? You feel so distraught, so hurt, you're in so much pain, that you feel as if you're being tortured to the point of death, but you aren't dying; you're stuck on the threshold between life and death yourself.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7FI0oSQewb
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQsgyWSGtFv
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxRWtFXcha5
"When I love someone, I do it with my whole heart. Whether it is my friend, family or lover, it consumes me. I can't help it; so when I lose that person, it is absolutely devastating. I can't do it again.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaZczqOYMOV
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbkVSYt0mMJ
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6BFkRxuYE0
"So please leave, David, because these feelings that I have? I refuse to allow them to blossom into full blown love, and I don't want to hurt you anymore than I already inevitably have."637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWg5O8Wav9o
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUBOFFE6K4U
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzPzFtchKQl
He gets up, and I can see the hurt in his eyes, but I can also see the understanding. It feels like it takes years for him to cross the room and make it to the door.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzboYCwfOLR
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWfWG2XVWub
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwSce9nFIT9
As he opens the door to leave, I know that I have done the right thing; I couldn't use him anymore.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGBqIE5WgSy
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEAcUhr2z3V
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRXtmQeEXo7
So why is it that I felt the urge to call him back?637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUDZY2jfcSy
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXwK94hPv6N
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtw9pRrAIjC
***637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUOslvAD9lM
For the past two days, I've been doing everything to get David out of my mind; and I've been epically failing. Every time that it is most inconvenient for me, he just pops up into my head, out of nowhere.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv5UTuHwFEv
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa9K5Gg8KEr
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMDUtJoJxkD
For example, right now, I'm at a photo shoot for a man who wanted a few portraits of himself, and I can't see the subject through the viewfinder.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRbAOBYciMI
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCvO0Q0UjA6
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD3nWKshSNY
"Excuse me, can I get a glass of water? I'm parched."637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmfbDerBQX5
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwJiPUWTwqq
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4IkcXqsLkK
He smiles at me.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3t4wtHtE2h
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2gY5oVU5EW
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGWbLoWncls
"Sure, hon."637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1MJggCQSPh
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBMuuVXn2jH
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHYny6pQA7F
He walks off, and like the masochist I am, I pull out my phone and read David's messages. So much for trying to forget him.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJq4VhnArSs
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTozhxv7ZHR
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA342lEYL8D
The very first ones:637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFJYmnYbKJl
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7tnFgWgWLL
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtldRGlN0oX
Hey! I miss you.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWEZ24ajxgB
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz98dMqm3Wc
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUgvgcuiMws
How about you come over to my house and sit on my face? 👅💦😉637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTZ8kVGZGKG
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9pFRoiJ6BT
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT4kcvpHwYC
Leah, I have a special present for you... 🍆💦637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvfhHTXPNi3
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOijtq4aSuk
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7sWPCsqudY
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7fx6Eq7p2N
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfYnIvxnmtb
Then, when he realised that I wasn't reading or replying to my texts:637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs6BGRI8dcp
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy5D8ibEkWz
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPnX2mqR9ZT
Hey babe, why aren't you answering my texts?637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkpMptMG8lE
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTRFbqrh05E
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxugVIoWDsD
Are you okay?637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiSnQOAx6Rz
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7NPkD4xqwn
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡapOCoWFzQR
Did I do something to piss you off?637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY4iOjuaQrQ
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdKv0F7c9nE
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOBNfX7TUwL
Then, he caught on to the real reason why I wasn't replying:637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiG1kM7Yox9
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvaBgqphJ7D
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeA2kOkbEJ5
If it's about the other night, please remember, it's okay to feel.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3JHZVYmv4j
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsjVaKQSgWE
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDRXRVI6JtF
Then, something that caught me completely off guard:637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzmeZ4Oyrpj
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYI1hf9U0EF
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCQZfZ5quM8
Leah, I've peen wanting to tell you this for a while; I wanted to tell you this at the poetry night, but I didn't know how. I love you.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6cJWLaoDDX
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcy6fgB7Mn1
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1cFWy5UA1r
Suddenly, it feels as if all of the oxygen has been removed from the air; as if I'm dying from CO2 poisoning, and my heart is beating so hard and fast, it feels as if it is trying to jackhammer its way out of my chest.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoSswPiJAYU
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6x7GzysZSo
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoTMnd9he0g
"No," I whisper, my voice cracking, and I let out a sob when I work out the date on which he sent the text. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI5qF9j8Wi0
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUSjmXJZ9Vt
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFW37Lec3cD
Two weeks before he came to see me. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡptw0bNmMUn
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwpBOGgFuKE
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡunTdWrppiz
Of course, my fucking pelvis begins to act up again, but the pain is barely noticeable over the pain I feel at knowing the extent to which I've hurt him. I knew that he felt strongly about me, but love?637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo75chdB0X2
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"Leah?" Trevor says, with the glass of water in his hand.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbZwBuMQZNj
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I wipe my face quickly.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEZSdnTteeG
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"It's okay. I'm fine."637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgXo0uxaM0o
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"You don't look fine," he says, with concern on his face, handing me the water.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3vMr8WtRN3
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"Don't worry about me. Lets get back to work."637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaxRtveSLsJ
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***637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE2XEiWZTyt
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I'm in David's driveway. I know I shouldn't be here after promising myself that I'll leave him alone, but I feel as if I have to say something to him after reading his confession, even though I know that seeing him in person again will probably end badly for both of us.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu4IWRux4oY
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Still, I called him to inform him that I wanted to talk, and he invited me over.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmIlg0DO4kx
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I can't get out of the car. I'm fucking nervous out of my mind. What the hell am I supposed to even say to him? 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf3bGYtA1F5
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637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWaOYHPEHa8
I don't even realise how long I've been here, until I here knocking on my car window. I jump slightly, yelping in fright, before realising that it's only David. I open the car door slowly.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ04Sphhhc1l
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"I was beginning to wonder if you were going to spend the night in the car," he comments.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI9SI0PLv2X
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I close my eyes as I stand and lock my car.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo3RkIlKnOU
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"You finally read my messages," he states.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo1DMvkNKOb
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"Yes," I reply, realising that the ticks must have turned blue.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFVMnfyYkFG
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I just look at him, and he looks back. Now that I'm looking for it, I can see it plain as day. He loves me. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5b4ogjj3A5
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If I'm going to be honest, I should've seen this one coming. He always wants to cuddle, he always looks for an excuse to sleep in the same bed as me. Now that I think about it, most men who are trying to keep feelings out of a relationship would rather sleep on their couch.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8TAkvqCkIH
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He fucking stalked me, followed me to a water party.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxRqv18XV7L
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"When did you start having feelings for me?"637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdiydoLlj3n
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQNKkD5HP4Q
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡamDP2b1SH5
He exhales loudly, and then looks at me as if he knows that I won't like the answer.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMsJHeAC8dM
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3o3BAui9LU
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"That night that we had dinner together, right here."637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt79tPMeCPx
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Wow. That was an actual date. A romantic date. I feel like a dumb fuck.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhfcowRbxQX
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He loves me, but I don't love him. Despite the fact that I feel drawn to him, the fact that I want him, not just sexually, I don't love him. Not yet.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIpexo8XnVQ
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I'm attached; I swore that I wouldn't let this happen, but I've become emotionally attached. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDNhbivsor5
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"Leah, are you really sure that you want to spend the rest of your life alone?" he asks, interrupting my train of thought. I can't even think about the weight of that question, because he continues.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6DIJMhfFpX
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGTgkmdLfq7
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"You say that you're afraid of pain, but right now, you're hurting yourself. You aren't happy. I know it's nothing compared to the pain of losing someone, but at least when you let other people in, you'll have some light, people to laugh with and cry with. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Orin2zgyN
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxTMYSrRaIh
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So I'm asking you again: do you want to spend the rest of your life alone?"637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJDlw8K4XAR
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1DYIRdvjQE
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVUr46cTESQ
I look at him, and I can't say anything; I'm speechless. Everything he just said makes sense, and it hurts, because I know that either way, I'm screwed. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwzRQKj60mE
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQVRAQm68qy
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If I say "no", he'll hold onto it the way that Jack should have held on to that lifeboat in Titanic, and if I say "yes", that may not be completely true, because I don't know anymore. I hate being alone, but I fear emotional pain. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlFBei1tPfm
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I just stand there, silent. Instead of trying to talk, I do the only thing that I can do in this moment; I hug him, and to my elation, he wholeheartedly returns the gesture.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMOpl7ibMgi
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A/N637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfu3YYeZW42
Happy Valentines Day! ❤️😘💋
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