Since the big cry fest over four weeks ago, my life has pretty much gone back to its usual state. I hardly even remember it anymore. I continue to work, eat, sleep, and shut the world out as I usually would.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeCXbVAbQRu
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWUoFgoyxNz
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfdZxr51jXf
There's only one minute problem; I've been avoiding David, and I'm sure as hell that he's noticed. How could he not notice that I haven't been available in over a month?619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdp2Cpsl9ro
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb9YEhTzsOg
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ30JYuxZ9kS
I let his calls ring out, and I don't call him back. I don't reply to his texts, or his WhatsApp messages. 619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA503SkTGiG
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡejIqMUAjSj
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1TYuarfnVp
It's pathetic, really, but who can blame me? That night, I realised that I was beginning to feel something very strong for him, and I also realised that he had already begun to feel that way a long time ago.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4euc8BLO9H
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ9lZDmvQ8k
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ufqw74bXZ
as long as you stay here with me619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRhZ9EUsxw2
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTgk8tDkNDB
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb2jkeDvu26
That's what he said after the wedding. He meant more than what was happening in that moment. I could feel it, and that night at Poetic Justice, I could see the way he looked at me, as if I meant the world to him.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCgiUH7vFkR
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6vyBkkGeRB
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy8GVMuXIXX
This has to stop.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPYg0ryh6WO
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc2L9GjFIbX
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUDhJfSBal2
I sit on the edge of my bed and stretch, feeling that sharp pain in my pelvis again, and I yelp. It's been happening more frequently now, and it's getting worse. I really need to eat more.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6oeIcmTOHT
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpZb6EyZvEW
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2pEkzOw9nW
I get up, not knowing what I'm going to do today — I have no work — so I go to make some coffee. I'm just about to pick up the jar that is now placed safely on my kitchen counter, rather than high up in a cupboard, when I hear knocking on the door. Somehow, I know that it's him; it's as if I can feel his energy through the door. Still, as I pull the door open, I didn't expect his expression to be so... worried. My first guess would've been that he was angry, but here stands before me, a man who looks like he is on the verge of shitting himself.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOlZKwOS7VZ
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7nWOi70vPG
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqWrZCfdyW4
"Are you okay?"619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb0m4BspHbF
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvCy2YlSzUC
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡulyQrmAtD7
"Yeah," I say letting out a heavy sigh. It seems as if every time I think of him, he appears. "We need to talk."619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYJ6DYwVQEX
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgMQtVs0aos
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAdHAQ9UTgy
I step aside to let him pass, and follow him to sit on one of the couches.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVYislB1ICw
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPI8SpF1beV
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQOe3xS5iVn
What the hell am I supposed to say? I don't love you? You're better of without me? It's not you, it's me? 619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrXF2XvwABc
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwTgrSMKHSv
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaxaNaJaVp8
Instead of going with any of those options, I choose the best thing that I can think of.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxPZgX5r73O
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQGrZJDDIX
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaWmct1sayN
"I don't want to do this anymore," I say to him, sounding like Rihanna.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmhXi58uf6s
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSqWwjDFoVb
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEH2ws91YLx
I don't want to hurt you anymore. I can't give you what you need.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgUqhL3xX0Y
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO6RI7PB5hh
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyvdVugf1LK
His eyebrows knot together in confusion. "Do what?"619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW8CodMk5u3
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvqsYbFeJBH
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOCecyF5vgf
"Us," I say, but he still looks confused, so I decide to elaborate. "I can't give you what you want."619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡptqnMuculK
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡugbFDGFp80
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlshbPMqBy0
He puts his hand on his forehead and rubs it, letting out a sigh.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjbMr5T2El
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡABX9i6TjDS
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6wDn9Mh53t
"Yes, you can."619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRfJrn1q5Ag
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5e2mGjK3vl
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJOJj86U549
"David—" I interrupt, because to be honest, I'm tired of people telling me what I can and can't do; but then he throws something at me that I didn't see coming.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUMhP7f6GDa
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIjTBlQ3yRX
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIepIaMlAcQ
"You can, but you don't want to. You're holding on to the past. There's a difference."619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyVH7d2bRER
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHvGtMXmAZz
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTQ73uZNjJJ
All of this is said with a look of sympathy on his face.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvaf6ZTJdeb
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNTWJdABwt5
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdpgKG9N7vo
To be honest, I can't tell him that he's lying, because he isn't. That's exactly what I'm doing; holding on to the past, to my dead lover who's ashes are kept in an urn under my bed, who I will never see again; but there's more to it. 619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBOj6o48vTr
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBVVE3bEwse
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIWYX7n6gIQ
I'm afraid to love again. I'm afraid to lose again. If felt enough pain to last me an infinite amount of lifetimes and then some.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaSNPPya7uH
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNeu8aVKd2C
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJhE1fVVTSB
"You're holding on to the past," he says, repeating himself. "I get it. You love him, probably infinitely more than you could ever love me; but do you really want to spend the rest of your life alone? Would he have wanted that?"619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6vYMR3cbbV
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ebaNbbFFx
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn8zCOj5EGy
I stop and think for a second. Would Andrew have wanted that?619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ruYnKq2Fx
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLteNipAvnh
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4knINGsipQ
No, he wouldn't, because the last thing he said to me was "be happy, for me; live, for me." 619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLWiTiOqyg1
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQ6iwjCVTn
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhR2pXTZNnn
I'm a disappointment to my dead boyfriend, because I can't get over my dead boyfriend. This is so fucked up.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfOIVKcRF6R
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHjl32YeHvi
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRlaHs3tDAq
I don't even realise that I'm sobbing until I'm in David's arms, and my face is in his chest; he's rubbing circles into the small of my back, just like he did four weeks ago.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE84Oxftm6A
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwgfsYIrWnd
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLCQXH4tRck
The sobs wrack my body so hard that my pelvis starts to hurt again, which causes me to groan.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfPxUJ7u0xD
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0BveMxhIfa
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAxWEKRcrdh
"What's wrong?" 619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXeZgdRgEjE
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWlqiLhuDEt
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw1gOqdZcOz
I take a few deep breaths, so that I can calm down; each time my breath hitches, I feel that sharp pain again.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡywfBPru9tG
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV1DJRPdDvr
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmcAiETIebD
Once the sobs stop, leaving only tears flowing from my eyes, I speak.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZtHtNjbRIR
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqws4szhABv
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9tApRfvYnK
"My pelvis hurts. I feel pains whenever I don't eat enough."619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTyGxXevf6r
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPZi6Nku5nU
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5t7oA4ZPTW
He gives me a disapproving look.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJf3SEWQya2
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXQxbpafiJ0
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdMnSxt78tV
"Are you anorexic?"619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLIUX9ya4As
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Pt4l6pprH
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtEIRvfX17J
"Oh, god, no. I just only eat when I feel the urge to. The problem is that sometimes I feel the urge to eat once a day, or I feel hungry and I don't want to eat solid food, but there's no liquid food in the house. Other times, I stuff my face like a pig."619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6AYea0tciX
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsHb3YVQPTU
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSYC8o5MOXi
He looks at me like I'm the strangest creature on earth.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVivSajr3KF
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLLZ36Tlns4
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiiMcQUBAN1
"Okay," he says in a resigned tone.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡibzJnqLB9m
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGVax0b52n2
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzUf7wggooI
The tears are slowing down now, and I'm beginning to realise that David isn't going to just evaporate into thin air because I order him to.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtuKI0B24bn
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKhKOrHZLDI
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡggf8E3rIyE
Almost as if he hears me, he smiles at me and says, "I'm not going anywhere, babe."619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5EZwrNIBoV
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsUp12k3MDG
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJn7QTKFSi
Not yet ready to accept that, I let out a sigh — then wince when my pelvis hurts again.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRCyp4rDQCr
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAAQFz1t2ca
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt8KmgADCF4
I ignore it.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbm2orC87he
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjHIOe6aMgX
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu9ow3KYu8w
"I don't want to get hurt again."619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡICXIeHWugM
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtindHayYRV
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxB9aUz3AKp
At this, he has nothing to say. What can he do? Promise me that he won't die? That would be a lie.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCL7tWCHjKa
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6GYYpgqgn3
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ37tIAuuGyK
"I won't let that happen, and I can't give you what you want. I can't give you love."619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXfYNrEJIUf
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC6AmguCEsc
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaBZ9L5ODJs
He knows that he can't give me a legitimate reply to that. I've lost every important person in my life. He can't ask me to risk that happening again by becoming close to yet another person.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLJeaOGsOCz
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp8xLIQd4tm
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvNbb3cVFD4
"This is why I don't have friends. I don't date. I live on my own. I just cannot endure any more pain, David. Love is a weakness; it it my weakness. It feels amazing when you're with the person, but at that funeral? You feel so distraught, so hurt, you're in so much pain, that you feel as if you're being tortured to the point of death, but you aren't dying; you're stuck on the threshold between life and death yourself.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPYSixb0HuV
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXds8PbncZn
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhcqXyCZeIG
"When I love someone, I do it with my whole heart. Whether it is my friend, family or lover, it consumes me. I can't help it; so when I lose that person, it is absolutely devastating. I can't do it again.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP3eOjqgXJ3
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6UmDfnQo5n
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7AcXi50FGz
"So please leave, David, because these feelings that I have? I refuse to allow them to blossom into full blown love, and I don't want to hurt you anymore than I already inevitably have."619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz9uQQoWZDh
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA07JH7iJQF
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRPW0fTIQaM
He gets up, and I can see the hurt in his eyes, but I can also see the understanding. It feels like it takes years for him to cross the room and make it to the door.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4Te7cUMHD
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡawjWPFP9pv
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG2Kc97aiYL
As he opens the door to leave, I know that I have done the right thing; I couldn't use him anymore.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWaSrSFbqgV
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTFraHGYBgj
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOyDOPTutnf
So why is it that I felt the urge to call him back?619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3JVc993AEb
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTvWgqGlqqZ
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDW1UD1DiL9
***619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy7jPp64xzV
For the past two days, I've been doing everything to get David out of my mind; and I've been epically failing. Every time that it is most inconvenient for me, he just pops up into my head, out of nowhere.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0QpGjOk6rb
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡutGieEJryF
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlBYLmZpLf9
For example, right now, I'm at a photo shoot for a man who wanted a few portraits of himself, and I can't see the subject through the viewfinder.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfxoGvmEZnf
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn2yAvKWILu
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL4QgNMUiFc
"Excuse me, can I get a glass of water? I'm parched."619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjojQsm6arv
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfvNoqy6mDb
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFxigtGQPGH
He smiles at me.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhmLraS5Tl4
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpzIwIMLUTi
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8cUvbRwfWs
"Sure, hon."619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOO484AxFxJ
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2BTOqIIQAo
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Qhuj5bPH5
He walks off, and like the masochist I am, I pull out my phone and read David's messages. So much for trying to forget him.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoRhUFWAbVA
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt3zB5h5kia
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcbVeeZFyam
The very first ones:619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuvrXdg4rNd
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUhr16E8uFx
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKG3wSwQXL2
Hey! I miss you.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJRJySLyH7
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiK15WAlGFD
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLQd04ENQST
How about you come over to my house and sit on my face? 👅💦😉619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrrS0Yv5d8g
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXG0czNpp3H
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYX03abb7Nq
Leah, I have a special present for you... 🍆💦619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlnRfS4orMg
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAs6sVNT7LR
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW1tfys8jJF
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA9ApiXyONK
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL4hXNbjOwS
Then, when he realised that I wasn't reading or replying to my texts:619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqVQ7chFVHc
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbuzaLy7Ivl
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJf4GdMu6I7
Hey babe, why aren't you answering my texts?619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjnWDftyvIi
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAOxzy7kMKR
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡntKgCQrqKk
Are you okay?619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmyrLCQ1Mql
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnWVwnhflG9
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBuxD29rrGo
Did I do something to piss you off?619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnvezLMa1SR
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzuWI6YQu7U
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ql1kAoShB
Then, he caught on to the real reason why I wasn't replying:619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlmwrKZu9rY
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGdbAnGVkTL
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeAEyuqmHUj
If it's about the other night, please remember, it's okay to feel.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYEqSgTDB25
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUsTf4S7N51
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKnnXfZTEtv
Then, something that caught me completely off guard:619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTtonmWcUY0
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4bX14QOUNA
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ22PSuJXIVJ
Leah, I've peen wanting to tell you this for a while; I wanted to tell you this at the poetry night, but I didn't know how. I love you.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVsPi1QmcXg
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuBRtzlwZWN
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI2TpuyzKGC
Suddenly, it feels as if all of the oxygen has been removed from the air; as if I'm dying from CO2 poisoning, and my heart is beating so hard and fast, it feels as if it is trying to jackhammer its way out of my chest.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ54b7MBLk83
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA3Pnv0ek2a
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc4wtlBWYq4
"No," I whisper, my voice cracking, and I let out a sob when I work out the date on which he sent the text. 619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2LTdQ0joBM
619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXgKslwpDl9
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Two weeks before he came to see me. 619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFavC4aDACr
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Of course, my fucking pelvis begins to act up again, but the pain is barely noticeable over the pain I feel at knowing the extent to which I've hurt him. I knew that he felt strongly about me, but love?619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFExf7fPady
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"Leah?" Trevor says, with the glass of water in his hand.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuuFQdkLmh0
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I wipe my face quickly.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM6oRIQwrgt
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"It's okay. I'm fine."619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2qSjKwqDpk
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"You don't look fine," he says, with concern on his face, handing me the water.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwvZ1QfoTAp
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"Don't worry about me. Lets get back to work."619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQlNkQXI0Q8
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***619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1snZYYYS8I
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I'm in David's driveway. I know I shouldn't be here after promising myself that I'll leave him alone, but I feel as if I have to say something to him after reading his confession, even though I know that seeing him in person again will probably end badly for both of us.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf57062Chdl
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Still, I called him to inform him that I wanted to talk, and he invited me over.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwGnKyRpeZG
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I can't get out of the car. I'm fucking nervous out of my mind. What the hell am I supposed to even say to him? 619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjqbtpkD0z8
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I don't even realise how long I've been here, until I here knocking on my car window. I jump slightly, yelping in fright, before realising that it's only David. I open the car door slowly.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡigEloIc518
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"I was beginning to wonder if you were going to spend the night in the car," he comments.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ66323yOB7j
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I close my eyes as I stand and lock my car.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlh7qDC3yhU
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"You finally read my messages," he states.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYWAu8ngagq
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"Yes," I reply, realising that the ticks must have turned blue.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8DjKIdE0mz
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I just look at him, and he looks back. Now that I'm looking for it, I can see it plain as day. He loves me. 619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2HcGryBbEu
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If I'm going to be honest, I should've seen this one coming. He always wants to cuddle, he always looks for an excuse to sleep in the same bed as me. Now that I think about it, most men who are trying to keep feelings out of a relationship would rather sleep on their couch.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW0de4ssZn1
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He fucking stalked me, followed me to a water party.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzIsDjEfjzk
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"When did you start having feelings for me?"619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBiOpLh12v5
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He exhales loudly, and then looks at me as if he knows that I won't like the answer.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnWoW5zgMw2
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"That night that we had dinner together, right here."619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiikmSjjsGg
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Wow. That was an actual date. A romantic date. I feel like a dumb fuck.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKmJz7Qrone
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He loves me, but I don't love him. Despite the fact that I feel drawn to him, the fact that I want him, not just sexually, I don't love him. Not yet.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZptsP3Upi
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I'm attached; I swore that I wouldn't let this happen, but I've become emotionally attached. 619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuk4KuNLTI2
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"Leah, are you really sure that you want to spend the rest of your life alone?" he asks, interrupting my train of thought. I can't even think about the weight of that question, because he continues.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoiyJhKTG0Y
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"You say that you're afraid of pain, but right now, you're hurting yourself. You aren't happy. I know it's nothing compared to the pain of losing someone, but at least when you let other people in, you'll have some light, people to laugh with and cry with. 619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk6zG9AaCU5
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So I'm asking you again: do you want to spend the rest of your life alone?"619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNGXndQ8QA9
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I look at him, and I can't say anything; I'm speechless. Everything he just said makes sense, and it hurts, because I know that either way, I'm screwed. 619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ53V6mIcugv
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If I say "no", he'll hold onto it the way that Jack should have held on to that lifeboat in Titanic, and if I say "yes", that may not be completely true, because I don't know anymore. I hate being alone, but I fear emotional pain. 619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1DUekRqZKu
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I just stand there, silent. Instead of trying to talk, I do the only thing that I can do in this moment; I hug him, and to my elation, he wholeheartedly returns the gesture.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ13S86Iv2YV
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Happy Valentines Day! ❤️😘💋
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