【原文出處】
https://www.penana.com/article/1606896
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以下是我看到某參賽作品以後，所寫的留言轉正文，供大家參考。
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感謝參與～106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNHNkhUih5H
106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2FXyMrOXTx
老實說，這篇給我的感覺不是十行詩，是散文十行。106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpzRPQf4n66
106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSWEAB4L1Fs
雖然文章有哲理，但是詩度很低。詩的要素，如節奏、意象、音樂、譬喻都很平淡，甚至欠奉；內容太趨近說明，解釋過多，太黏了。106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡagmyWiLToV
106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz84LMHtVy7
～～～～分隔線～～～～106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8y9Xf0hdaH
106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAIFeD1ZlFJ
我回頭看我自己寫的詩，有些也算不上是詩，例如106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxRhNZLpWoq
106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡESvPj8fva0
〈限制和自由〉106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwqZf2Hq8QE
106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXPNRA1jNb2
penana.com/article/1024895106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfv2oXh1HOo
106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUxf2yd5Pfh
現在看來，我覺得它不是詩 (但為記錄故，還是收進詩集)。106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqzcxcSyI2D
106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb72k9EKF23
詩度 0。106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWYx1QHk6f3
106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ78jqXoVNRS
～～～～分隔線～～～～106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBxJsTqryhz
106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡluBOWKyGDu
〈問〉106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYL6mVyoym3
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penana.com/article/1024944106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOoCivGIoo1
106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLtBJkojKQi
詩度高一點。106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDhHq8RzZJY
106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBgYvnrIvo
～～～～分隔線～～～～106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo3UTjzSyTd
106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGhdS7Hcu1n
〈摩天之輪〉106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdTwJbTpFz1
106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHSeSBThjj5
penana.com/article/1045705106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy4W5L3wxrs
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詩度再高一點。
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～～～～分隔線～～～～
106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrNpshtnQyr
〈蝴蝶酥〉106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlMmB13N7i3
106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcSij2lRFHS
https://www.penana.com/article/1597713106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuQFVlxoTDB
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詩度比前三首都高。
106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsEugZPjyuo
～～～～分隔線～～～～
106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3JLoQe0Fex
我最近在看台灣詩人蕭蕭的詩論，詩人有句話簡單卻有道理：「詩，是『換句話說』，『再換句話說』」。106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbqKhBjSDW7
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我在筆記本上面，寫下自己的句子：「詩，是常句和變句的雙人舞。」106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgHT6SPBmwm
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跟你分享。
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～～～～分隔線～～～～
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此外，這篇連結文章也可作參考。106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLUyis3JmHh
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【認識新詩的基本元素】106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtg66cgglxw
106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJcumSqMMQe
blog.udn.com/shesiya/113597193106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR696I6ldG8
106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMuw10YcCGA
我之後應該會就我最近對新詩的思考＆自己詩作/非詩作的例子，寫一篇文章放在我的《寫詩這件事及其他》裡面。106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwg8Mp5A0O
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106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeerplob2uZ
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【我後來回答參賽者「希望較符合你的標準」的留言】
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這不是我的標準啦，算是台灣詩人對新詩的定義。106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡublv2CfdfK
106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaIiRiTKtEV
第二版「詩度」有提升，因為用了複沓/排比結構，綿延的音樂性增加了。106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl5dInoKV2c
106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcERljwyBmC
寫詩要多看詩，也不用急，我檢視自己這兩年多密集寫詩的成果，發現好多不熟的，甚至是皮球假裝成果子的，哈哈～
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【這次全新寫的感想】
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我拿自己青澀的詩果，甚至非詩的皮球作例子，無非是希望讀者能做個比較，認識一下不同詩度的詩，長什麼樣子；這裡再拿我寫的〈詠栗〉為例：
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〈詠栗〉
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殼斗，第一層愛
張牙舞爪威嚇
眾鳥獸，為了
豐美的內在
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剝去愛，尚有
木訥果皮和刻苦種皮
無口而全然
環抱整個子代
106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQN3P6dPb5W
充盈在手中打開
當秋天到來
106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3wzEVaFb6
106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxLapn2KDV8
如果寫成
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〈詠栗〉
106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKv1gIIulX6
殼斗，第一層皮
長滿尖刺威嚇
眾鳥獸，為了
內在的果實
106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhqeGateFxq
剝去殼，尚有
木質果皮和苦味種皮
沒有裂口而且完全
包覆整個子葉
106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8u0YAb4tma
栗子在手中打開
當秋天到來
106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmIxi9MQUcY
詩度就不見啦，成為一篇分行的散文，而且是說明文。
106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqqYkDYtMik
會寫詩的讀者，可將自己詩裡的詩句 (＝變句)，換成一般常用的句子 (＝常句) 玩玩看；而苦惱於抓不到詩度的讀者，反其道而行，將自己作品的句子，改動幾個詞彙，以「一般不會這樣用」的語詞 (也可改變詞性) 代替，或可抓到一點詩的感覺。
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當然，詩的面向不僅在於詞彙，但這是一個開始。
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祝各位被詩淋透，不，淋得半濕就好。
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