五天過得比想像中快很多,星野莉奈覺得自己連時差都還沒調好,就落地回到日本了。70Please respect copyright.PENANAJGcJla1xaD
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「然後你知道嗎?我真的沒看過那麼誇張的走台現場,根本是模特兒界的神仙打架,光是眼神就能把人震出場外那種——而且我一直以為只要拍照!結果到了他們才說也要走秀!我、我我我、走在那群人中間,根本像誤闖巨人國的小矮人!」70Please respect copyright.PENANAnJovlPc935
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客廳的沙發上,星野莉奈裹著毯子、頭髮還有些微亂,手裡捧著一杯熱牛奶。講話的語速比平常快一點,聲音帶著剛回國的高昂情緒。70Please respect copyright.PENANAMX5CQX0mx0
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「我本來就知道自己身高沒什麼優勢啦,可是真的站進去才發現——十公分,是世界和我的分界線。」70Please respect copyright.PENANAwvXArDGoLg
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她像隻捲成團的蝸牛,誇張地比劃模特的長腿,語氣半笑半自嘲。餘光掃過牆上那張等身照片——腿長得像不科學一樣,幾乎佔了整個畫面的三分之二。70Please respect copyright.PENANAhQewAugP0D
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她一直以來最崇拜的模特,也是她每天睜開眼都會看到的身影;一種,世界標準的象徵。70Please respect copyright.PENANAfKgJe6lHAG
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沒有多看,星野莉奈輕輕收回視線,把毯子往上拉了一點。70Please respect copyright.PENANAOvDz3m19n2
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糸師冴的目光也跟著落過去一瞬。沒說話。70Please respect copyright.PENANAgbZwnYhjUr
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他知道那是誰。從小就知道。70Please respect copyright.PENANAHLoFknYUZn
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「——我拍完那天直接靈魂出竅,五天裡只有一天睡滿六小時,其他時間都在趕通告、改造型,連自己擦了什麼眼影都不記得。」70Please respect copyright.PENANAKkdHBQhdnW
70Please respect copyright.PENANAHejIJveq2k
糸師冴坐在沙發的另一端,聽星野莉奈從香榭大道講到塞納河;從攝影棚講到試鏡現場的光線。他手上轉著保溫杯,偶爾點個頭,偶爾挑挑眉,但大部分時間只是靜靜聽著她說。70Please respect copyright.PENANAIyoqiomT09
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「不過——也還好啦,我猜我應該沒選上。那邊競爭真的超激烈,連候補名單都快比正式名單強了。」70Please respect copyright.PENANAEWm7DEPchy
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星野莉奈聳聳肩,語氣倒沒什麼失落,「而且有一個人超強的神人也來了——神谷美咲!她果然也去了!」70Please respect copyright.PENANAv85xbpBPsM
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「誰?」糸師冴簡短回應。70Please respect copyright.PENANAMOqEUkSfjo
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「蛤啊——你不是知道她是誰?!就那個啊——『亞洲模特界話題新星』!本人真的超漂亮!氣勢超強!」星野莉奈一邊回想畫面,一邊用誇張的手勢比劃:「黑長直髮、超高冷,走進來連攝影助理都不敢直視她的臉,整個房間瞬間變成冷色調背景欸!完全不敢想像她只比我們大兩歲耶!那個氣場——」70Please respect copyright.PENANAeZSEqFM7G7
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「嗯。」70Please respect copyright.PENANA1OVsGlg1Pv
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「而且你知道最扯的是什麼嗎?」星野莉奈像是存心想讓他專心聽,眼睛瞪得大大的:70Please respect copyright.PENANA4tzcHfVsAK
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「——她前男友是一個足球員!」70Please respect copyright.PENANAANCw3QcQGZ
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這句話終於讓糸師冴抬起眼,「誰?」70Please respect copyright.PENANADfjSswXAcx
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「我有點忘記名字了,已經確定會代表國家隊出賽,好像是好幾國混血,踢中後衛的,也跟我們差不多大——叫什麼去了?」70Please respect copyright.PENANAgYOaWH27jw
70Please respect copyright.PENANAnivDoNm7fA
「奧利佛・愛空。」70Please respect copyright.PENANA5SAOWOxRui
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「啊——對!你怎麼知道?你認識他喔?」70Please respect copyright.PENANAgE98yl1ypV
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「不認識。看過他的資料而已。」70Please respect copyright.PENANANfdxCHth5Y
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「噢,我還以為你認識。」星野莉奈轉了轉手中的馬克杯,「我好像有聽説,後來因為他們有點不愉快,神谷美咲的狀態跟名聲都受到影響,才導致現在沒那麼常出現。」70Please respect copyright.PENANAsVqig2SPbi
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星野莉奈說到這裡,才忽然意識到什麼,笑著補了一句:「不過她對大家都很有禮貌啦,但就是⋯⋯你知道有種禮貌像是隱形刀片,說話都很溫柔,但聽完你會想反覆確認對方是不是在罵你?」70Please respect copyright.PENANAUdeHdZ2Rdy
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糸師冴沒接話,只是把視線落回她手中的杯子,注意到她的手指一圈一圈摩擦著杯壁。70Please respect copyright.PENANAdK2VdiFs1c
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「所以我覺得沒選上也沒差啦——至少去過一次巴黎,還吃到夢想中的羊角可頌,雖然是凌晨三點拍完照後去的⋯⋯但我還是會記得那個味道,永遠。」70Please respect copyright.PENANAF6GEfDxyKg
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糸師冴看著星野莉奈微笑說「沒差」的模樣,指尖又無聲地在手上的保溫瓶轉了一圈。70Please respect copyright.PENANArHuNpCpFt3
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她一邊說,一邊撐著下巴看他,「——你都不想問我有沒有想你嗎?」70Please respect copyright.PENANAeNRylTyFNx
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「妳不是已經說了五百次『好想傳照片給你又怕打擾你』了?」70Please respect copyright.PENANAh0u0dpbjUS
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「你居然有認真聽我講話喔。」70Please respect copyright.PENANA6bFnXSde0p
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「講那麼多次,失智也記得起來。」糸師冴語氣一如往常淡淡的。70Please respect copyright.PENANAmlYxADQEXO
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「⋯⋯你真的很欠扁。」她輕輕地踢了他一下腳,「不過,冴,我真的有一瞬間,是靠著『你一定會覺得我拍得很棒』這個想法撐過去的。」70Please respect copyright.PENANAw3DtGB8Prq
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糸師冴沒回應她最後那句「撐過去」,只是輕輕地「嗯」了一聲。70Please respect copyright.PENANAhuQrTRqHIZ
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他沒有加什麼評語,也沒有對她的經歷發表任何看法——可她卻從那聲「嗯」裡,聽出一點點像是⋯⋯他也懂的回應。70Please respect copyright.PENANAku7h9t3DSM
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會不會⋯⋯其實他在西班牙的時候,也有過,這種時刻呢?星野莉奈眼神亮亮的。70Please respect copyright.PENANACnZPeetFTI
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靠著她,跟小凜⋯⋯?哪怕只是一點點也好,撐過了那種沒人知道的瞬間?70Please respect copyright.PENANAWv9olK1zxj
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她突然覺得有點得意,好像自己默默參與了一場無聲的並肩作戰。70Please respect copyright.PENANAJuu0An6ZOZ
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「說真的,我本來以為自己會緊張到哭,結果在現場的時候,完全冷靜得嚇到我自己。連經紀人都被我的表現震驚到。」星野莉奈笑了笑,嘴角微翹,像是在告訴他——我真的也有長大一點了。70Please respect copyright.PENANAtnSSAgH93S
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糸師冴抬起眼,看著她沒化妝的臉、亂翹的頭髮、裹在毯子裡的模樣,忽然說:70Please respect copyright.PENANAm5bOtaSkke
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「妳跟以前比,變得比較能撐場面了。」70Please respect copyright.PENANAGrY5JGjCwr
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星野莉奈一愣,突然被電到似地整個人撐靠在沙發背,眼睛睜大得不敢相信,「什麼——你這是在誇我嗎?現場Live的誇獎嗎?」70Please respect copyright.PENANAsoVRVuupPw
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「沒有,是事實。」70Please respect copyright.PENANANRhVhNfp29
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「哇哇哇!居然還補一句!等等,我要錄音——」70Please respect copyright.PENANA6J5AA31RLC
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她正要拿手機,他卻一把拉過她的手,直接按住她的手腕。70Please respect copyright.PENANA1YCR35hAag
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「不要吵。」糸師冴語氣沒變,語調好像又低了一點。70Please respect copyright.PENANAEor5UJKrrb
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她注意到他指節上微紅的壓痕。像冰敷留下的痕跡,也像球場草皮擦過後沒說出口的疲勞。70Please respect copyright.PENANAGSx1A0A5cy
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「⋯⋯你保溫杯裡,還是只放常溫水嗎?」70Please respect copyright.PENANAWcAzqcDaYh
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「嗯。」70Please respect copyright.PENANAzXOmMj16Li
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「這麼冷的天不用熱一點的喝,真的不會感冒嗎?」星野莉奈語氣溫柔得像聊天,但指尖卻悄悄幫糸師冴拉了拉毯子邊緣,蓋過他手背。70Please respect copyright.PENANAEermr0yutp
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「還以為你現在應該超怕失溫,畢竟早上五點的那種場地⋯⋯風可不是開玩笑的。」70Please respect copyright.PENANAcIcV0rzSpL
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糸師冴沒說話,但動作頓了一下。70Please respect copyright.PENANAAhezC1hJO2
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她沒逼問,只是淺淺笑了下,換了個話題:「我在巴黎每天被造型師抓來抓去的時候,超羨慕你只要穿訓練服就好。」70Please respect copyright.PENANAWJkBfnPbCP
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「妳那叫工作。」70Please respect copyright.PENANAEwurB1Xrlz
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「你也是在工作啊,不然RE・AL怎麼會一直派人來監督你。」70Please respect copyright.PENANAVZsaJMcL1O
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星野莉奈說得自然,像是從報紙上讀來的公開資訊,也像是從什麼群組小道消息中不小心滑到的。70Please respect copyright.PENANAWvTibltq3n
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糸師冴轉了轉保溫杯蓋,沒否認,也沒接話。70Please respect copyright.PENANAH4yy8QRjnn
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星野莉奈舉起杯子喝了一口牛奶,視線隨意地落在他身上。70Please respect copyright.PENANAnIdBErtIn3
——不過好險,她擔心的那些事,一件都沒有發生。他沒有被YIPS擊潰、沒有獨自去踢很冷的夜場;也沒有在她不在的時候,真的撐不過去。70Please respect copyright.PENANA2SDUcZ9R3y
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「我最近看你的影片啊⋯⋯」70Please respect copyright.PENANAD9SqDdXgV8
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星野莉奈語氣像是不經意地提起,語尾卻輕輕一挑,藏了點壞心眼的笑,「你影片裡的動作啊,一個一個都像在交報告——其實是你在考教練眼力吧?」70Please respect copyright.PENANAwFh9nhi9NM
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啜了一口牛奶,星野莉奈杯子放下時才慢悠悠開口:「不吃甜食、不蓋毯子,還每天五點去場邊結霜⋯⋯你到底是訓練,還是想變成冰棒?」70Please respect copyright.PENANACyJybRjWo8
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他微微皺眉。70Please respect copyright.PENANAQ7gjV6qSK2
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她笑了兩聲。像什麼都沒說過一樣,然後又補了一句,半開玩笑地呢喃:70Please respect copyright.PENANA2whFupI5sV
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「你那種冷到會結霜的練習場啊,如果哪天忘記帶手套⋯⋯我可以借你一邊手放我口袋裡喔。」70Please respect copyright.PENANAfi1nCfIUCA
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糸師冴轉頭看她,眉毛都沒動一下。70Please respect copyright.PENANA4IWGhE5Z6W
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星野莉奈笑得很乖巧,「一邊而已,超出不收費。」70Please respect copyright.PENANAaSLy4xzxqC
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他沒有回應,只是伸手碰了一下杯口。70Please respect copyright.PENANAI868DqDtZx
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她笑了幾聲後,忽然安靜下來。抬頭眨了眨眼,輕聲說:「我可以再多問你一件事嗎?」70Please respect copyright.PENANA9eLfzaVzWm
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「什麼?」70Please respect copyright.PENANAQ2g9BDHLwU
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「你有聽過——就是,神谷她之前的事嗎?」70Please respect copyright.PENANAGnJivCzLlC
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「我第一次聽到她的名字——妳覺得呢?」糸師冴挑高一邊眉毛,看她的眼神像在說:我為什麼要關心她。70Please respect copyright.PENANAIPfjQuKjpC
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「噢對吼。」星野莉奈傻笑了一下,又猶豫幾秒才說出口:「就是⋯⋯她那時候跟奧利佛・愛空的事,好像有被拿來炒作過。還有她公司⋯⋯我有聽說過一些⋯⋯不太乾淨的操作手法。」70Please respect copyright.PENANAxXVVKvXjIa
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糸師冴沒有立刻回應,手指輕敲了兩下保溫杯。70Please respect copyright.PENANAJYYXXNHXtE
70Please respect copyright.PENANAhW5lKp1sAP
「我們圈子也有那種人。」他終於開口,語氣平靜,「不是運動員的問題,是有些人會把所有不甘心都掛在別人身上。」70Please respect copyright.PENANAb8FDL1RPDe
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她抬眼看他。70Please respect copyright.PENANASwh3hXBp4T
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糸師冴語氣沒變,只是語句明顯轉向:「那不是他們的問題,也不是妳的。」70Please respect copyright.PENANANF1bZPGsTT
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然後低頭喝了一口保溫杯裡殘留餘溫的水。70Please respect copyright.PENANA2IgI720qVy
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「別讓那些人的帳算到自己身上來。」70Please respect copyright.PENANAaP3KTvKDpg
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星野莉奈輕輕笑了:「我也不想那麼在意⋯⋯但她看人的那種眼神,真的很難不記住。我覺得她應該不只是想拿代言,她好像⋯⋯想證明些什麼。」70Please respect copyright.PENANAUotROzQsjm
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她說完後低下頭,用大拇指劃著杯子邊緣。70Please respect copyright.PENANAGyKUTLhkpi
順著杯沿在心裡劃出一道軌跡——其實也在問:那我呢?70Please respect copyright.PENANA7TCXETtGRu
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「那妳呢?」70Please respect copyright.PENANA0vurxVmE5w
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「我、我啊?」星野莉奈頓了一下,突然被問住了,但很快輕笑起來:「我⋯⋯我就是想——站在鏡頭前,被很多人看到,然後⋯⋯」70Please respect copyright.PENANAzo6bWZcNoo
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話說一半,星野莉奈低頭看著杯子,聲音慢了些:「至少,有一個人會覺得『很適合』,就夠了。」70Please respect copyright.PENANAQ6II8BGegY
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說完這句話,怕被聽懂什麼似地,她趕緊補了一句:「當然啦,如果能拿到代言,我還是會開心得飛起來!」70Please respect copyright.PENANAcD6JdUzU0L
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糸師冴沒再說話,只是稍微垂了眼,看見她把腳趾縮回毯子裡的動作。像是怕冷,也像是怕被看見她的在意——70Please respect copyright.PENANAViFWIX9ksj
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「巴黎很冷吧。」70Please respect copyright.PENANAKGK57noW3y
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「有你冷嗎?」70Please respect copyright.PENANAYpxHBPun5Q
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他又挑了下眉,「比我冷的地方不多。」70Please respect copyright.PENANANlHVBRaO4k
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星野莉奈笑得更大聲了,躺在毯子裡像是整個人都鬆了一口氣。這才是真正的「回家」。70Please respect copyright.PENANAAxxs0RtSev
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「欸,我媽說你今天想睡我們家客廳也可以哦。」70Please respect copyright.PENANA2tVFUzys6c
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「我想睡床。」70Please respect copyright.PENANAqtEd1Gkooj
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「冴你⋯⋯」星野莉奈睜大眼盯著他,語氣瞬間高八度:70Please respect copyright.PENANAVr9rjtr8K1
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「你該不會是說你今晚⋯⋯要——」70Please respect copyright.PENANAxEQyCUeeUM
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「回家睡我自己的床。」糸師冴面不改色地打斷她,語氣比平常還平。70Please respect copyright.PENANA4I8YHLj0cp
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「⋯⋯哦。」星野莉奈當場啞火,然後小聲補了一句:「講清楚嘛。」70Please respect copyright.PENANALmtpOrvtPr
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她也知道他口中的「家」只是慣用詞,他根本沒打算要回去他家。70Please respect copyright.PENANAHaK0AmI0r9
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「對了,你跟小凜和好了沒啊?」星野莉奈跟糸師冴一起起身。70Please respect copyright.PENANABHuDFdFQLz
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「沒聯絡過他。」70Please respect copyright.PENANA9UlCJKqIoH
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「你不回去見一下嗎?」星野莉奈用拇指指了一下糸師家的方向,「你不在的時候,小凜真的一直很努力⋯⋯」70Please respect copyright.PENANAODZQDSdJua
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她停了一下,又補了一句:70Please respect copyright.PENANAmQjageXtt6
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「那種努力啊,有時候看了會讓人覺得——他是不是太拚了,拚得有點孤單。」70Please respect copyright.PENANAxNSOIL8T0r
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那種孤單,不只是因為哥哥不在,還有全世界都看不懂他真正的渴望是什麼。所以他只得獨自向前——拚命想抓住某個東西。70Please respect copyright.PENANA6WH3uClWNK
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而她知道,那東西的名字叫「哥哥」。70Please respect copyright.PENANAnGMmJcuny4
比自己還拼,比自己還更相信「糸師冴」的,糸師凜。70Please respect copyright.PENANAyh9Bnb194y
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糸師冴沒有回答,只是走到玄關前,拉開門時——手微微停了一下。70Please respect copyright.PENANASHyYHw16tH
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「那是他的事。」70Please respect copyright.PENANATbe2DpDwQA
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星野莉奈沒再追問,只是默默看著他,心裡卻想著:你嘴巴再硬,也還是會來找他的吧。70Please respect copyright.PENANAc7HssahzQw
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認識他久的人都知道,糸師冴的眼神,有時候會比他嘴巴誠實一點。
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