保母車照例送她回家,在熟悉的巷口停下。星野莉奈道了謝,自己拎著包包下車,朝家的門口走去。14Please respect copyright.PENANAafWDCnWJuK
14Please respect copyright.PENANARX13acdLR0
夜裡的風很輕,路燈把影子拉得很長。她聽見鞋跟在路面上輕輕敲出的聲響,一聲一聲,孤獨得像在空白的紙上打字。14Please respect copyright.PENANAHiy0IdyzgT
14Please respect copyright.PENANAcMlYUYW9ub
進了家門,星野莉奈換上室內拖鞋,動作輕得幾乎聽不見聲音。14Please respect copyright.PENANAeroLPPCnUj
14Please respect copyright.PENANAeLDQkB25n1
包包放在玄關的小桌上,她頓了頓,還是小心地擺正,把背帶理順。14Please respect copyright.PENANACu9bcgiQrL
14Please respect copyright.PENANAITjfmqQ1wL
外套掛好,扣子一顆一顆扣上。收拾得,像在收拾自己。14Please respect copyright.PENANAYqAmcR5doJ
14Please respect copyright.PENANAozTQP8NQj8
她取出放在外套口袋裡的手機,走到客廳,放在長桌上,靜靜坐下。14Please respect copyright.PENANAgC5zW9ouPl
客廳很安靜,只有冰箱運轉的低鳴聲在耳邊繞。14Please respect copyright.PENANAyAaullskjp
14Please respect copyright.PENANAyvTwJofnbu
星野莉奈抱著膝蓋,坐在沙發的一角,手指輕輕摳著自己衣服上的線頭。14Please respect copyright.PENANAAQ1ccRLHdw
14Please respect copyright.PENANAwdEHWsmkT1
過了很久,她才伸手拿起手機。14Please respect copyright.PENANAQm77JmwWZQ
14Please respect copyright.PENANADrkUPxEkUJ
打開通訊軟體,滑到最上方那個置頂的對話框。14Please respect copyright.PENANAyLDm4c7sBX
14Please respect copyright.PENANAV7M4ezTWAy
上一次的訊息還停留在五天前,在他們要去球賽前,只有一行簡短的「你在球場上的樣子真的超帥」。14Please respect copyright.PENANA2GgoAsAmbA
14Please respect copyright.PENANAd5OMiMu6Ro
只有已讀標記,沒有新的回覆。14Please respect copyright.PENANASzuAMZfvBo
14Please respect copyright.PENANAcg8lh5eG0b
她盯著那個對話框看了很久很久。指尖滑動到輸入欄,敲了幾個字,又慢慢刪掉。14Please respect copyright.PENANAilnKxOObPC
14Please respect copyright.PENANAnRckz8gN09
想說什麼呢?14Please respect copyright.PENANARrUXXWA56Y
說「你看起來很好」嗎?14Please respect copyright.PENANALciucIU4lP
太多餘了——他會看到,但也不一定會回。14Please respect copyright.PENANANyx9r9IzET
14Please respect copyright.PENANAZclF2xlkg7
說「我今天也有努力喔」?14Please respect copyright.PENANAsCyNch8GfZ
會不會像是在邀功?要期待人家回什麼?14Please respect copyright.PENANA7vRUoZcJK9
14Please respect copyright.PENANAak5OXOpKaq
還是問「你的比賽怎麼樣」?14Please respect copyright.PENANAwGBX3qbFln
「你有沒有揍那個前鋒了」?14Please respect copyright.PENANAhWa2obgE8s
14Please respect copyright.PENANArNWbjNMZ1g
可是他可能沒空詳細說他們的賽況;也沒有理由真的去揍那個前鋒。14Please respect copyright.PENANA5IgPniMVzU
14Please respect copyright.PENANADDqEi8ZDqt
那——要不要乾脆只傳一個表情符號?14Please respect copyright.PENANAvE184zGTMU
一個不會被誤會、也不會太明顯的微笑?14Please respect copyright.PENANAZU79ZYFEbX
14Please respect copyright.PENANAImxzv2TpsE
還是——14Please respect copyright.PENANAwMFvlIwR1D
什麼都不說,只顯示上線狀態,讓他知道,她還在這裡。14Please respect copyright.PENANAW9kMyBK3ee
14Please respect copyright.PENANAJcaXIUulJK
還在這裡,一個人。14Please respect copyright.PENANAXodUNSseFG
14Please respect copyright.PENANA5EAPfaXCpo
手機螢幕因為長時間沒有操作,自動暗了下來。14Please respect copyright.PENANAlONWFwEYwk
14Please respect copyright.PENANAgp7pklUVKN
星野莉奈沒有再打開。14Please respect copyright.PENANATZjMxxhtL4
她把手機翻面扣在桌上,怕再看到什麼,又怕什麼都沒有。14Please respect copyright.PENANAZl7JPXGZ48
14Please respect copyright.PENANACTGR15OSsQ
然後,她慢慢縮回沙發的角落,把自己抱得更小。14Please respect copyright.PENANALtXoSBlvYj
外面的風輕輕吹過陽台的門縫,帶來一點夜裡的冷意。14Please respect copyright.PENANA15Hu4yzBcg
14Please respect copyright.PENANAPFY2kPFTb8
她靠著沙發背,閉上眼睛。14Please respect copyright.PENANAimrylJQLOZ
14Please respect copyright.PENANAdiHbUgqZYv
沒有哭。14Please respect copyright.PENANAvqFmR82NO6
14Please respect copyright.PENANAfvRLTGbQrc
也沒有期待誰會來敲門。14Please respect copyright.PENANAwx9BhO10jI
只是靜靜地,和自己待在這個空蕩蕩的客廳裡。14Please respect copyright.PENANA0mvn2tt2Yj
14Please respect copyright.PENANAqLTDcf61iE
就像很多個夜晚一樣。14Please respect copyright.PENANAbXH8jgaz7l
14Please respect copyright.PENANA7ZPzTaNSen
她一直都是這樣走過來的。14Please respect copyright.PENANASuuuH5AAir
14Please respect copyright.PENANAYpy7H3XZ8K
這次也可以。14Please respect copyright.PENANAsaLVbJcFOE
14Please respect copyright.PENANAHWv3jKoY1E
「莉奈?」14Please respect copyright.PENANAQ2LI0oXZIe
14Please respect copyright.PENANAuZgAOstsmV
星野莉奈把眼睛睜開,看見媽媽穿著家居服,手上拿著溫熱的巧克力牛奶和提拉米蘇切片蛋糕,還有一小盒切好的水果,輕手輕腳地走下樓來。14Please respect copyright.PENANA3n6VYQuVy3
14Please respect copyright.PENANA2l3GmWP2W1
「聽到聲音了,才放心。」14Please respect copyright.PENANA5CrnPBBu24
14Please respect copyright.PENANA1mLDhqECZd
她邊說邊靠近,像是怕驚動什麼一樣,動作溫柔又輕。14Please respect copyright.PENANAHnj4QIFwIl
14Please respect copyright.PENANABzJnV5f647
「今天回來時順路看到,就買了一點。」14Please respect copyright.PENANAJV0euuJwnm
14Please respect copyright.PENANAoJb7kdkDXT
媽媽輕描淡寫地笑著,把東西放在茶几上。14Please respect copyright.PENANAdEYpEQfglt
14Please respect copyright.PENANAMlmVr4tVTH
「我可是藏得很辛苦,才沒被妳爸爸偷拿去吃呢。」14Please respect copyright.PENANACcXOrPTaCv
14Please respect copyright.PENANAK3nZ8s6cWg
星野莉奈點點頭,沒說話。14Please respect copyright.PENANAmYv0rHpt8s
14Please respect copyright.PENANAYDXNFtH0Fk
「趁熱熱的喝,比較好喝。」14Please respect copyright.PENANArhX2qwOx1v
14Please respect copyright.PENANA0IyPT1pBf7
星野莉奈視線停在那杯巧克力牛奶上,杯緣冒著微微熱氣。旁邊提拉米蘇蛋糕的高脂肪乳酪,上面還填蓋一層層奶油——14Please respect copyright.PENANA6tYexj3228
14Please respect copyright.PENANAmHMBsVgPwK
「不急著變得更好,今天先吃飽就好。」14Please respect copyright.PENANApKjuln3Tzv
14Please respect copyright.PENANAtjEtIgtnNz
媽媽笑了笑,拍拍她的手背。14Please respect copyright.PENANAuG1W359p1r
14Please respect copyright.PENANA2XCag1t7PF
星野莉奈抬起頭,視線越過媽媽的肩膀,落在牆上的那張照片——14Please respect copyright.PENANARfHB2rqudI
此刻照片裡的她,正穿著家居服站在自己面前,笑容跟牆上照片模特兒一模一樣——眼神一樣溫柔堅定,聲音一樣輕。14Please respect copyright.PENANAoYv5ftDvvj
14Please respect copyright.PENANAK1jDRa14LH
她鼻尖微微發酸,輕輕點頭。14Please respect copyright.PENANAmzHqAQLmKy
14Please respect copyright.PENANAdwXUeTiDNg
星野莉奈一直都知道,自己崇拜的那個人——不是因為她站在鎂光燈下,而是因為每一個像現在這樣的時刻。14Please respect copyright.PENANAAGRVoTKICr
14Please respect copyright.PENANAEl5VXJMKMo
媽媽在她對面的單人沙發坐下,輕輕舒了一口氣,像累了很久,終於可以休息一下。14Please respect copyright.PENANAB9N8uaISx3
14Please respect copyright.PENANA7jiuoFUhws
過了好一會兒,她才開口,語氣又輕又帶著一點笑意:14Please respect copyright.PENANAXtdOZK66jr
14Please respect copyright.PENANA594TmUAi0C
「還在想小冴啊?」14Please respect copyright.PENANAdbWtm23ARn
14Please respect copyright.PENANAU8U730bggM
言語裡帶著寵溺,就像提到什麼頑皮又惹人喜歡的小動物。14Please respect copyright.PENANAJNS7kg4ezP
14Please respect copyright.PENANAIkhDtkQkaq
星野莉奈怔了一下,眼眶瞬間酸了。低下頭,小小地吸了一口氣,沒回話。14Please respect copyright.PENANAJbTgfqrCAY
14Please respect copyright.PENANAh1H0mLrBOO
媽媽沒有逼問,只是歪著頭,笑得更溫柔了些,是心疼,又笑她太傻、太認真。14Please respect copyright.PENANAyQ9cCamGSc
14Please respect copyright.PENANAf9jam2HPDk
「那孩子啊,從小就不太會說話,悶悶的;嘴巴硬得要命,心卻軟得不得了。明明什麼都放在心上,偏偏開口的時候,說出來的都是會惹人誤會的話。」14Please respect copyright.PENANA6r0izSbhoD
14Please respect copyright.PENANAutqiQ42w1z
她笑了一下,沒什麼無奈,彷彿在說自家孩子,再麻煩都覺得可愛。14Please respect copyright.PENANAVhKKZeMctL
14Please respect copyright.PENANAbg6WcbQFH8
「傻得很可愛。」14Please respect copyright.PENANA2Lxe3250lV
14Please respect copyright.PENANAQxIQ607pAK
媽媽靠進沙發椅背,像在說一個輕輕的故事。14Please respect copyright.PENANAZVHD7cvvgU
14Please respect copyright.PENANASAnMr2GZno
「偏偏妳就看得出來,他其實一直有在注意身邊的事——只是他不習慣出聲,不習慣被綁住。就像那天我看他來家裡,鞋子擺得整整齊齊的,手上東西也沒忘記拿,話雖然不多,但我說一句,他都聽得進去。」14Please respect copyright.PENANAnYtHa2t3BK
14Please respect copyright.PENANAwPmcIWYJO4
星野莉奈咬著唇,肩膀微微顫了一下。14Please respect copyright.PENANAiIyscCdQyP
14Please respect copyright.PENANAvOM3tS6gTp
「冴那孩子不會說喜歡妳,不會說想妳,也不會主動牽手⋯⋯但每次妳跌倒了,都是他站在妳後面,手放在妳背上,等妳自己站起來——從小就是這樣呢。」14Please respect copyright.PENANAbzdlEzI1mX
14Please respect copyright.PENANAYRxMdz7oAC
星野莉奈很安靜,雙手卻把曲起的雙膝抱得更緊。14Please respect copyright.PENANAEDFMjd2qtb
媽媽靜靜看了她一會兒,然後緩緩地站起來,走到她身邊。14Please respect copyright.PENANAE5kHt7wkV5
14Please respect copyright.PENANARc24vjgBNQ
什麼都沒說,只是坐下,輕輕把她摟進懷裡。14Please respect copyright.PENANANa3aCbe4GZ
14Please respect copyright.PENANA21JqEpLQTM
沒有太用力,也沒有多餘的語言。14Please respect copyright.PENANASLQkEMhQzI
只是這麼靜靜地,把她抱住。14Please respect copyright.PENANAEbw1WqKNLB
14Please respect copyright.PENANA0ULh6iKINo
一開始星野莉奈還僵著,像是不太習慣。14Please respect copyright.PENANAtTv8vcoc12
但很快,她慢慢地,把額頭靠進媽媽的肩膀。像終於找到可以喘氣的地方。14Please respect copyright.PENANAemQwlcoWm4
14Please respect copyright.PENANAM2UPJbmb8s
媽媽一隻手輕輕拍著她的背,低低地說:14Please respect copyright.PENANA34ja12F7Eh
14Please respect copyright.PENANAlfdvPyphmA
「辛苦了,寶貝。真的很辛苦了。」14Please respect copyright.PENANAojW3K23DBH
14Please respect copyright.PENANAtiewmL8q8A
星野莉奈緊緊閉著眼,眼淚無聲地滑下來。14Please respect copyright.PENANAKlNCIh9zsx
14Please respect copyright.PENANAjmiJ4BGUgg
媽媽輕輕拍著星野莉奈的背,過了一會兒,輕聲笑了:14Please respect copyright.PENANAkRRPloppre
14Please respect copyright.PENANA8pd8vv5XNl
「媽媽啊,年輕的時候也有過喔。」14Please respect copyright.PENANAIcoxdxJOno
14Please respect copyright.PENANAD6kjqGcrGU
星野莉奈動了動,沒有抬頭,但她聽見了。媽媽的手一邊順著她的背,一邊慢慢地說:14Please respect copyright.PENANAk2BfDL9OAS
14Please respect copyright.PENANAHoker6UGYT
「那時候,我還是新人模特兒,剛開始走紅。接了很多廣告,也拍了人生第一本寫真集。那本是跟一位很有名的攝影師合作的,風格偏紀實、比較像是在記錄那時候的我,沒有太多妝、也沒有太多設計——只是陽光、素顏,還有一些比較生活感的場景。」14Please respect copyright.PENANA1IRfjHLH9B
14Please respect copyright.PENANAhVPJsMccyc
她頓了一下,像在回想那段時間的味道。14Please respect copyright.PENANAjR1tdnmDO5
14Please respect copyright.PENANAyxPXvHbRAi
「但外界的聲音很難聽。什麼天生好命啦、靠人脈啦、會炒作啦⋯⋯說得好像我所有的努力都不是我自己的一樣。那時我也年輕,不太會反駁,只能一直拍、一直撐,讓自己撐到那些聲音沒辦法再把我抹掉。」14Please respect copyright.PENANAPTtwygTjEF
14Please respect copyright.PENANA4rAJuZAGYx
她笑了笑,語氣帶著一點無奈,又有點溫柔:14Please respect copyright.PENANAMuJT8OG5l1
14Please respect copyright.PENANA1p6PEtyif2
「那時候啊,唯一相信我、支持我的,就是妳爸爸。他還只是個小小的攝影助理,沒什麼話語權——但每次拍照,他都特別認真幫我找角度、打光,什麼都不多說,卻用行動讓我知道,我不是一個人在對抗這個世界。」14Please respect copyright.PENANAPhIrlr2biy
14Please respect copyright.PENANAyPtsKYmnjP
媽媽低頭親了親星野莉奈的髮頂,聲音低低地,像是把一個秘密輕輕放進她耳朵裡:14Please respect copyright.PENANAD4fDiI9elo
14Please respect copyright.PENANAb5CX8yjCQV
「所以啊,妳現在這樣難過,是很正常的。不是妳做錯了什麼,也不是妳不夠好。是這個世界,有時候就是這麼吵、這麼粗糙。」14Please respect copyright.PENANAiiZcOnGlF0
14Please respect copyright.PENANArEW4YPBDQn
她停頓了一下,又笑了笑,語氣變得更溫柔:14Please respect copyright.PENANAb8ogKI5yex
14Please respect copyright.PENANA0TrR8z6Bwk
「我一直都知道,妳活得很自主,走路很穩,不太需要別人扶——也一直以為,給妳空間、讓妳自由,就是對妳最好的支持。」14Please respect copyright.PENANALcvNcapNyg
14Please respect copyright.PENANAnxDEWo7j9X
媽媽輕輕收緊了擁抱,語氣像嘆息又像自問自答:14Please respect copyright.PENANA8yU2EnCqIv
14Please respect copyright.PENANA62QpUXVfBd
「但是啊⋯⋯就算是最會走路的小孩,有時候也會想被抱一下吧。」14Please respect copyright.PENANADL4x6lKyAq
14Please respect copyright.PENANAy7Nr5rgz0f
星野莉奈緊緊咬著唇,肩膀又顫了一下。媽媽輕輕拍拍她的背,接著說:14Please respect copyright.PENANAg7kW3cKLxd
14Please respect copyright.PENANAR4GvpFQXi8
「鈴也是啊。那孩子,特別有正義感。她知道妳不想被誤會、不想傷害任何人,所以她什麼都想擋在自己前面——讓妳可以專心做妳自己。」14Please respect copyright.PENANAOAEWpf7YZ8
14Please respect copyright.PENANAgkR0PJwFPL
媽媽的呼吸很輕,輕到不帶任何情緒:14Please respect copyright.PENANAjSCpp2BKRn
14Please respect copyright.PENANABV6Gj2oSNU
「而小冴呢⋯⋯很早就決定好怎麼走他的人生了。妳不能拉住他,但妳可以在他停下來的時候,剛好在那裡⋯⋯他不是會說出『我需要妳』的那種人,但那不代表他不需要。」14Please respect copyright.PENANAe9vFVeqIeL
14Please respect copyright.PENANAkqqUGmFmVh
星野莉奈伸手輕輕抓住媽媽的衣角。媽媽溫柔而堅定地說:14Please respect copyright.PENANAaZDsrQYMhP
14Please respect copyright.PENANABZGfcWCw31
「妳啊,真的做得很好了。」14Please respect copyright.PENANAcHwhfwM7Qq
14Please respect copyright.PENANAZBA03Dz534
媽媽低笑了一下,帶著一點調皮的寵溺:14Please respect copyright.PENANAmyvSPzUidu
14Please respect copyright.PENANA88ri2rSw1e
「誰叫咱們家女兒眼光這麼好,偏偏喜歡上那麼獨立、又不太會說話的小傻瓜呢?」14Please respect copyright.PENANAlYPR56W4fv
14Please respect copyright.PENANAOlC77123HX
她閉著眼,眼淚靜靜地,不斷滑下來。14Please respect copyright.PENANAyP43hthkFw
沒有聲音,也沒有顫抖。14Please respect copyright.PENANA6zi9GF4tYo
14Please respect copyright.PENANAsJsJ1FQqxo
只有胸口,微微一下一下地疼著。14Please respect copyright.PENANABY4a4gA6bU
14Please respect copyright.PENANAsbJuYValaP
她忽然想起自己曾經無數次,14Please respect copyright.PENANAyLZ1zgT5LU
在球場邊,在便利商店,在一個又一個不經意的黃昏裡,14Please respect copyright.PENANAAoGnTSq8Ci
悄悄地等過那個人。14Please respect copyright.PENANADUmnHyWvDq
14Please respect copyright.PENANAkcx0SgoKSO
等他的訊息。14Please respect copyright.PENANAp7dA8DN3vF
等他的目光。14Please respect copyright.PENANAuJWDxNAum4
等一個不一定會到來的回應。14Please respect copyright.PENANAO2t3Gge49l
14Please respect copyright.PENANAIOOwTBd03f
不是為了要證明什麼,14Please respect copyright.PENANA5RWzc3YvNB
只是因為——14Please respect copyright.PENANAhPjCNuOmQe
她真的很在意他。14Please respect copyright.PENANAnteABM7h95
14Please respect copyright.PENANAgDb7HYt9ya
那時候,她總是告訴自己:14Please respect copyright.PENANAUL8Fmyxcq2
14Please respect copyright.PENANAKm2M4bFMpO
「沒關係的,我可以等。」14Please respect copyright.PENANAkLYvl7Pl3C
14Please respect copyright.PENANA7WRVLSYQof
直到今天,她才第一次承認,14Please respect copyright.PENANADnp97vHT5l
原來那些輕描淡寫的等,14Please respect copyright.PENANAqN46W9uNpM
從來都不是輕的。14Please respect copyright.PENANA7TNf9jYumx
14Please respect copyright.PENANAmyrBIKRsVe
媽媽的手掌還在輕輕地拍著她的背。沒有催促,也沒有要求她快點振作。14Please respect copyright.PENANAe6U1ca23qi
只是一遍又一遍,溫柔地拍著她的背。14Please respect copyright.PENANAbjrmPpEoQ4
14Please respect copyright.PENANAPHWbMAX0qt
外面的風聲輕輕吹過,屋子裡只剩下心跳的聲音,和媽媽溫暖而堅定的擁抱。
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