在TG上,大家互相交換照片,今年的動漫節我只去了兩天。586Please respect copyright.PENANAFSdjcYjAxZ
586Please respect copyright.PENANAxmxuRjqPN9
Annie看完我cosplay男角和女角的照片,她看到其中一張我cosplay著女角跟一另一名女coser的合照,便回應:586Please respect copyright.PENANAhO9iGsH840
586Please respect copyright.PENANAN2JK2zFSVA
Annie:你隔離嗰條女好靚,你啲frd嚟?586Please respect copyright.PENANA8OvlGrjR7m
586Please respect copyright.PENANArlBanLcTfI
我:梗係唔係啦,啱啱先識嘅(笑喊586Please respect copyright.PENANAGoML9pham8
586Please respect copyright.PENANA48O6YGhlwY
接著Annie也給她的化妝照我看,又交流著化妝心得。586Please respect copyright.PENANADY1BHyn4lp
586Please respect copyright.PENANArg4Pov0FP4
論「擠牙膏式」聊天戰術,對我來講cosplay、化妝、寫網絡小說,這三大話題是最長壽命的話題,能用來談很長、很長的時間。586Please respect copyright.PENANAOEJMaz6OEn
586Please respect copyright.PENANAalsfCbKiFc
總之,我最終目的就是要把她約出來見面!586Please respect copyright.PENANA9qRWaQmUIu
586Please respect copyright.PENANA48UcTo3vam
每次我以cosplay裝扮出席這類活動時,都必定認識到新朋友,男女都有,也是同樣cosplay的人,然後他們都會跟我交換IG。586Please respect copyright.PENANAjElXLevW5N
586Please respect copyright.PENANAbS09a1ieTP
在我的IG裡,粉絲頗多,主要有兩類:一是從cosplay圈認識的人,二是我從網上寫小說而招來的讀者粉絲和其他作者。586Please respect copyright.PENANApLW1n3CyNT
586Please respect copyright.PENANAgKNQNWLVNq
每逢我發佈小說的宣傳文,只有十幾個讚好,但當我發佈cosplay照時,不論是男裝還是女裝,總會引來多3倍的讚好,真是人靠衣裝。586Please respect copyright.PENANACreVRYGigZ
586Please respect copyright.PENANAWuANYDjKXK
因此有人會覺得我的朋友圈子大,但其實這只不過是假象;因為我都很少與人會面,平日頂多都是跟我唯一好友Jason見面或獨自一人到cafe消閑。586Please respect copyright.PENANAngEY5J2DG2
586Please respect copyright.PENANAGzXljC1USk
Annie:你個樣本身可以好女仔,出街實冇人知你係偽娘。586Please respect copyright.PENANA3mlLBixHew
586Please respect copyright.PENANAepIUsmPp2t
我:但冇計啦我太高喇,實出賣男兒身㗎(笑喊586Please respect copyright.PENANAll6AV5k9dQ
586Please respect copyright.PENANALd1HUIjH3A
Annie:其實我好憎啲男仔睇樣586Please respect copyright.PENANABbV6TQX4aM
586Please respect copyright.PENANArkFfQeP51S
我:做咩突然間講呢啲嘅?586Please respect copyright.PENANA7y8xzR69WL
586Please respect copyright.PENANAIQQ43WSMKK
Annie:以前試過交換完相之後,條仔嫌我肥,就即block我586Please respect copyright.PENANAz5QznEjnmz
Annie:我真係好自卑586Please respect copyright.PENANAPDS1ficO3Z
Annie:啲人成日都同我講,話我個樣唔差,叫我扮下靚就有586Please respect copyright.PENANAB6uaRTORPD
Annie:佢哋口口聲話唔介意肥閪,但係行動上就好誠實咁話我知,佢哋跟本介意。586Please respect copyright.PENANA8MgZQtV2b0
586Please respect copyright.PENANAJzuWJNtbti
其實我也很清楚知道,這個世上沒有絕對的零歧視。很多時候人只是出於禮貌,而在表面的社交應酬上,包裝自己的說話,但心裡仍然保留真正的自己。586Please respect copyright.PENANAYX5HvCGmw6
586Please respect copyright.PENANAmfZetqLRNk
所以我的世界觀是:適者生存,與其努力去改變世界,倒不如學習保護自己。586Please respect copyright.PENANAMv77vNSlhP
586Please respect copyright.PENANAZO2djCoVsC
偽娘也會被歧視嗎?當然有,只是我比較幸運,身邊的人大致上都是禮貌跟我相處;或可能有人心底裡不喜歡,但我相信既然有人不喜歡,那麼總有人喜歡,每個人總會找到自己的一套生存之道,多訓練自己的敏感度,便可容易地觀察人心,從而使自己作更好的決定。586Please respect copyright.PENANAKqvUx0Ufs2
586Please respect copyright.PENANA0drrV9fsBs
所以在前面說到創建Tinder帳號時,我都說,即管大膽表明自己是偽娘身份,當有人被我吸引進來之後,再慢慢過濾誰是真正交友。586Please respect copyright.PENANAgP9tcwWfdN
586Please respect copyright.PENANA7rokTqVzbW
或許有人問:你這樣不辛苦嗎?不做偽娘就好了。586Please respect copyright.PENANAhj30JMcaps
586Please respect copyright.PENANADxmMB8MTdm
我會反駁:食得鹹魚抵得渴,為心靈滿足而選擇紋身的人,會害怕生活上的阻礙而放棄嗎?586Please respect copyright.PENANAjsRlW1W1Sf
586Please respect copyright.PENANAnj32kjxLhc
我們又繼續聊,然後我嘗試開玩笑地拋出一句。586Please respect copyright.PENANAvFmr0GGjcC
586Please respect copyright.PENANAfYPZgAm9wA
我:我好想食豬扒飯。586Please respect copyright.PENANAPdASw30Dgg
我:不過我想食你件豬多啲(笑喊586Please respect copyright.PENANAHgfFvCfbfe
586Please respect copyright.PENANAhlthVCdA33
Annie:我唔係豬扒!!586Please respect copyright.PENANA35KFrUEp80
586Please respect copyright.PENANADDoYF246ZN
糟糕了,我講錯說話,焦慮的我想嘗試修復。586Please respect copyright.PENANAC4lyRgFqO1
586Please respect copyright.PENANAV7IbiqM30H
我:豬扒都有豬扒嘅好(笑喊586Please respect copyright.PENANAwqnpipYuT2
586Please respect copyright.PENANAlfmCfbdbAB
Annie:可以啪啪聲嘛(大笑586Please respect copyright.PENANAhhH0CRSE9T
Annie:同埋,我呢啲高嘅係叫坦克車唔係豬扒586Please respect copyright.PENANAQvkw3tTL4A
586Please respect copyright.PENANAMYwAv9FgmP
最原始的對話版本我已經忘記了,也刪了;總之大概記得,我以「豬扒」這個詞語來開玩笑,說過幾句;但是勾起了Annie的怒火,而我又嘗試熄滅。586Please respect copyright.PENANA9tbwaOzMlQ
586Please respect copyright.PENANANrCJZHypOz
我:噢,原來我一路以嚟攪錯咗豬扒呢個term嘅用法。586Please respect copyright.PENANAclUGdnv14a
586Please respect copyright.PENANAyCOVjcK3I3
沒辦法下,我只好裝傻混過去。586Please respect copyright.PENANAWGdxXG9cQi
586Please respect copyright.PENANAWvK5CZVfx4
本以為如此便蒙混過關,於是我們又如常地相處下去。586Please respect copyright.PENANAd9nTZSeqRO
586Please respect copyright.PENANArTDXBSvA3q
接著幾天後,我又約了一個攝影師在派對房裡拍攝泳裝照片;但是照片要修圖,要等待一陣日子才有。586Please respect copyright.PENANAbQKcIrXqiC
586Please respect copyright.PENANAbwkQZb1E2i
這晚我又跟Annie聊到半夜三更。586Please respect copyright.PENANALnQUcEoEHD
586Please respect copyright.PENANAZs9tFyedCx
Annie:你去影泳衣咁有冇相?586Please respect copyright.PENANA8fCu5zt1S9
586Please respect copyright.PENANAULC38LQm8h
我如實地交代暫未有相片,只有一張我當場的自拍照,是上身照,相中的我看起來與一個穿三點式的女人無異。586Please respect copyright.PENANAqv50dJzuyD
586Please respect copyright.PENANA5yhFF7QpHu
艷濃的妝容、長長的啡捲髮、以及黑色三點式泳裝,露出大面積白皙的肌膚,正正是我當時的打扮。586Please respect copyright.PENANAiid02eaWkE
586Please respect copyright.PENANAlBtj1hUVIk
Annie:慘囉慘囉,連你都咁靚。586Please respect copyright.PENANAZhZyP9Wfep
Annie:我一見到有排骨精就有種想保護佢嘅感覺586Please respect copyright.PENANAMxrzI6BOu3
Annie:驚佢俾風吹走586Please respect copyright.PENANA2FJ9zMPvrS
586Please respect copyright.PENANAFwn83OxaJp
我:你講緊邊個排骨呀?(笑喊586Please respect copyright.PENANA42wkZT1OiZ
586Please respect copyright.PENANAaIiMYwNUCI
Annie:我好唔中意啲男仔自大586Please respect copyright.PENANADDJVCk8oEt
Annie:見過有啲男仔喺網上露佢自己上身586Please respect copyright.PENANARH7hdTCGiM
Annie:佢以為自己有六舊,有好大條J586Please respect copyright.PENANA3AANqWvyhx
586Please respect copyright.PENANATnOxm58kk3
我:俾著係我直情同人講:我冇J㗎(笑喊586Please respect copyright.PENANA2UYCrJK1XI
我:冇六舊肌同大J,咁咪做返女人囉(笑喊586Please respect copyright.PENANAB80rhxWQN1
586Please respect copyright.PENANAY9G6nHuMNa
我不像一般的某些直男,在網上放出袒露上身的大漢照。不穿衣服,我都會,只是我不會這樣表達而已。586Please respect copyright.PENANAzbk8KuFzr8
586Please respect copyright.PENANAVYwGUvo3XE
事實上,我的確在Tinder放過一張三點式泳裝照,還有假髮和妝容;並不是因為我對自己男性特徵(例如6腹肌)沒自信,而純粹是因為我喜歡美麗的自己。586Please respect copyright.PENANAeJoOvJGWYK
586Please respect copyright.PENANA6CbRwM2Uvh
以火影忍者的語言說,大多數男人都是使用鳴人的「逆後宮術」,而我則只是在用「後宮術」,一個「逆」字只是男版和女版的分別。586Please respect copyright.PENANAFFYAwautnH
586Please respect copyright.PENANAXEcoGYg69u
Annie:半夜三更瞓唔著,突然性起,傾吓性?586Please respect copyright.PENANAmBAKmZmWTj
586Please respect copyright.PENANAHJsgZurC0B
我:你做乜咁突然想講18禁呀?M到?(笑喊586Please respect copyright.PENANAqXsQM2YWYp
586Please respect copyright.PENANAYfS7qNfpJm
Annie:係呀,你又知?(笑喊586Please respect copyright.PENANAhQhhR1wDr8
586Please respect copyright.PENANAxSVljFAWfC
我:我憑直覺亂估咋586Please respect copyright.PENANAwAaIMoWUgi
586Please respect copyright.PENANAZIBLZaQOsH
Annie:好奇想知你唔打飛機㗎咩?586Please respect copyright.PENANAZ8EKEo45OI
586Please respect copyright.PENANAqxjn78sAtV
我思索了一會,然後回覆。586Please respect copyright.PENANAXGySsIqAG3
586Please respect copyright.PENANAVMziVeJBaG
我:打呀,但我嘅性幻想唔係男女扑嘢咁簡單。586Please respect copyright.PENANAEeYcidyPUe
586Please respect copyright.PENANALryEwvQbMu
我的性癖,是戀物。事實上對於女性的胸、陰道,不是主要的興趣;因此如果有大胸妹子在我面前引誘我,是沒有用的;唯一能刺中我「死穴」的只有女裝。586Please respect copyright.PENANAF0WDTuOLO6
586Please respect copyright.PENANAK3Mt85XR1U
Annie:我屋企都有兩件sex toy586Please respect copyright.PENANAHm8ioxMRDg
Annie:我試過自己裝上假J然後插落第二條女度586Please respect copyright.PENANAltXKYIGxbX
586Please respect copyright.PENANAew93o6NOP8
我:你本身都係bi?586Please respect copyright.PENANAwAe3mfEnQS
586Please respect copyright.PENANAHcBQlrvM0s
Annie:唔係嘅,只係貪屌女仔好玩(大笑586Please respect copyright.PENANARApijbB2gd
586Please respect copyright.PENANAWjPHP4EKqN
我:話說今日我去私影時都就嚟出水586Please respect copyright.PENANAAmUMXvJqyg
586Please respect copyright.PENANA7E1AkE021z
Annie:你都冇閪,點出水?586Please respect copyright.PENANAwBiH0oLXtx
586Please respect copyright.PENANADPcv5t9dkY
我:人工閪😏586Please respect copyright.PENANAQSAjJGJXjp
586Please respect copyright.PENANADX4Rq71YK3
Annie:😳😳586Please respect copyright.PENANAADefS9wVSU
586Please respect copyright.PENANAgpbUdFTt1Y
我:你嚟上我啦(笑喊586Please respect copyright.PENANA12QZHS9G0v
586Please respect copyright.PENANAXXTI48MnCk
今晚看似她已經把我說的「豬扒」拋諸腦後;另一方面,我們已經聊了1.5個月,我三番四次約會她,她都不出來,漸漸地我也被磨去了耐性和動力。我開始有點迷惘,下次應該如何提出約會,還是只保持網上關係就罷了?