在TG上，大家互相交換照片，今年的動漫節我只去了兩天。586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFSdjcYjAxZ
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxmxuRjqPN9
Annie看完我cosplay男角和女角的照片，她看到其中一張我cosplay著女角跟一另一名女coser的合照，便回應：586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhO9iGsH840
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN2JK2zFSVA
Annie：你隔離嗰條女好靚，你啲frd嚟？586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8OvlGrjR7m
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrlBanLcTfI
我：梗係唔係啦，啱啱先識嘅（笑喊586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGoML9pham8
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48O6YGhlwY
接著Annie也給她的化妝照我看，又交流著化妝心得。586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDY1BHyn4lp
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrg4Pov0FP4
論「擠牙膏式」聊天戰術，對我來講cosplay、化妝、寫網絡小說，這三大話題是最長壽命的話題，能用來談很長、很長的時間。586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOEJMaz6OEn
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡalsfCbKiFc
總之，我最終目的就是要把她約出來見面！586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9qRWaQmUIu
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48UcTo3vam
每次我以cosplay裝扮出席這類活動時，都必定認識到新朋友，男女都有，也是同樣cosplay的人，然後他們都會跟我交換IG。586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjElXLevW5N
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbS09a1ieTP
在我的IG裡，粉絲頗多，主要有兩類：一是從cosplay圈認識的人，二是我從網上寫小說而招來的讀者粉絲和其他作者。586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpLW1n3CyNT
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgKNQNWLVNq
每逢我發佈小說的宣傳文，只有十幾個讚好，但當我發佈cosplay照時，不論是男裝還是女裝，總會引來多3倍的讚好，真是人靠衣裝。586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCreVRYGigZ
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWuANYDjKXK
因此有人會覺得我的朋友圈子大，但其實這只不過是假象；因為我都很少與人會面，平日頂多都是跟我唯一好友Jason見面或獨自一人到cafe消閑。586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡngEY5J2DG2
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGzXljC1USk
Annie：你個樣本身可以好女仔，出街實冇人知你係偽娘。586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3mlLBixHew
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡepIUsmPp2t
我：但冇計啦我太高喇，實出賣男兒身㗎（笑喊586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡll6AV5k9dQ
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLd1HUIjH3A
Annie：其實我好憎啲男仔睇樣586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBbV6TQX4aM
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrkFfQeP51S
我：做咩突然間講呢啲嘅？586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7y8xzR69WL
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQQ43WSMKK
Annie：以前試過交換完相之後，條仔嫌我肥，就即block我586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz5QznEjnmz
Annie：我真係好自卑586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPDS1ficO3Z
Annie：啲人成日都同我講，話我個樣唔差，叫我扮下靚就有586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB6uaRTORPD
Annie：佢哋口口聲話唔介意肥閪，但係行動上就好誠實咁話我知，佢哋跟本介意。586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8MgZQtV2b0
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJzuWJNtbti
其實我也很清楚知道，這個世上沒有絕對的零歧視。很多時候人只是出於禮貌，而在表面的社交應酬上，包裝自己的說話，但心裡仍然保留真正的自己。586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYX5HvCGmw6
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmfZetqLRNk
所以我的世界觀是：適者生存，與其努力去改變世界，倒不如學習保護自己。586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMv77vNSlhP
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZO2djCoVsC
偽娘也會被歧視嗎？當然有，只是我比較幸運，身邊的人大致上都是禮貌跟我相處；或可能有人心底裡不喜歡，但我相信既然有人不喜歡，那麼總有人喜歡，每個人總會找到自己的一套生存之道，多訓練自己的敏感度，便可容易地觀察人心，從而使自己作更好的決定。586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKqvUx0Ufs2
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0drrV9fsBs
所以在前面說到創建Tinder帳號時，我都說，即管大膽表明自己是偽娘身份，當有人被我吸引進來之後，再慢慢過濾誰是真正交友。586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgP9tcwWfdN
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7rokTqVzbW
或許有人問：你這樣不辛苦嗎？不做偽娘就好了。586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhj30JMcaps
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxmMB8MTdm
我會反駁：食得鹹魚抵得渴，為心靈滿足而選擇紋身的人，會害怕生活上的阻礙而放棄嗎？586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjsRlW1W1Sf
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnj32kjxLhc
我們又繼續聊，然後我嘗試開玩笑地拋出一句。586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvFmr0GGjcC
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfYPZgAm9wA
我：我好想食豬扒飯。586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPdASw30Dgg
我：不過我想食你件豬多啲（笑喊586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHgfFvCfbfe
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhlthVCdA33
Annie：我唔係豬扒！！586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ35KFrUEp80
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDDoYF246ZN
糟糕了，我講錯說話，焦慮的我想嘗試修復。586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC4lyRgFqO1
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV7IbiqM30H
我：豬扒都有豬扒嘅好（笑喊586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwqnpipYuT2
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlfmCfbdbAB
Annie：可以啪啪聲嘛（大笑586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhhH0CRSE9T
Annie：同埋，我呢啲高嘅係叫坦克車唔係豬扒586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQvkw3tTL4A
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMYwAv9FgmP
最原始的對話版本我已經忘記了，也刪了；總之大概記得，我以「豬扒」這個詞語來開玩笑，說過幾句；但是勾起了Annie的怒火，而我又嘗試熄滅。586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9tbwaOzMlQ
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNrCJZHypOz
我：噢，原來我一路以嚟攪錯咗豬扒呢個term嘅用法。586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡclUGdnv14a
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyCOVjcK3I3
沒辦法下，我只好裝傻混過去。586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWGdxXG9cQi
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWvK5CZVfx4
本以為如此便蒙混過關，於是我們又如常地相處下去。586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd9nTZSeqRO
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrTDXBSvA3q
接著幾天後，我又約了一個攝影師在派對房裡拍攝泳裝照片；但是照片要修圖，要等待一陣日子才有。586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQKcIrXqiC
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbwkQZb1E2i
這晚我又跟Annie聊到半夜三更。586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLnQUcEoEHD
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZs9tFyedCx
Annie：你去影泳衣咁有冇相？586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8fCu5zt1S9
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡULC38LQm8h
我如實地交代暫未有相片，只有一張我當場的自拍照，是上身照，相中的我看起來與一個穿三點式的女人無異。586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqv50dJzuyD
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5yhFF7QpHu
艷濃的妝容、長長的啡捲髮、以及黑色三點式泳裝，露出大面積白皙的肌膚，正正是我當時的打扮。586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiid02eaWkE
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlBtj1hUVIk
Annie：慘囉慘囉，連你都咁靚。586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZhZyP9Wfep
Annie：我一見到有排骨精就有種想保護佢嘅感覺586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMxrzI6BOu3
Annie：驚佢俾風吹走586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2FJ9zMPvrS
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFwn83OxaJp
我：你講緊邊個排骨呀？（笑喊586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ42wkZT1OiZ
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaIiMYwNUCI
Annie：我好唔中意啲男仔自大586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDDJVCk8oEt
Annie：見過有啲男仔喺網上露佢自己上身586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRH7hdTCGiM
Annie：佢以為自己有六舊，有好大條J586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3AANqWvyhx
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTnOxm58kk3
我：俾著係我直情同人講：我冇J㗎（笑喊586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2UYCrJK1XI
我：冇六舊肌同大J，咁咪做返女人囉（笑喊586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB80rhxWQN1
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY9G6nHuMNa
我不像一般的某些直男，在網上放出袒露上身的大漢照。不穿衣服，我都會，只是我不會這樣表達而已。586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzbk8KuFzr8
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVYwGUvo3XE
事實上，我的確在Tinder放過一張三點式泳裝照，還有假髮和妝容；並不是因為我對自己男性特徵（例如6腹肌）沒自信，而純粹是因為我喜歡美麗的自己。586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeJoOvJGWYK
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6CbRwM2Uvh
以火影忍者的語言說，大多數男人都是使用鳴人的「逆後宮術」，而我則只是在用「後宮術」，一個「逆」字只是男版和女版的分別。586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFFYAwautnH
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXEcoGYg69u
Annie：半夜三更瞓唔著，突然性起，傾吓性？586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmBAKmZmWTj
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHJsgZurC0B
我：你做乜咁突然想講18禁呀？M到？（笑喊586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqXsQM2YWYp
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYfS7qNfpJm
Annie：係呀，你又知？（笑喊586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQhhR1wDr8
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxSVljFAWfC
我：我憑直覺亂估咋586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwAaIMoWUgi
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZIBLZaQOsH
Annie：好奇想知你唔打飛機㗎咩？586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ8EKEo45OI
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqxjn78sAtV
我思索了一會，然後回覆。586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXGySsIqAG3
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVMziVeJBaG
我：打呀，但我嘅性幻想唔係男女扑嘢咁簡單。586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEeYcidyPUe
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLryEwvQbMu
我的性癖，是戀物。事實上對於女性的胸、陰道，不是主要的興趣；因此如果有大胸妹子在我面前引誘我，是沒有用的；唯一能刺中我「死穴」的只有女裝。586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF0WDTuOLO6
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK3Mt85XR1U
Annie：我屋企都有兩件sex toy586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHm8ioxMRDg
Annie：我試過自己裝上假J然後插落第二條女度586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡltXKYIGxbX
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡew93o6NOP8
我：你本身都係bi？586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwAe3mfEnQS
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHcBQlrvM0s
Annie：唔係嘅，只係貪屌女仔好玩（大笑586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRApijbB2gd
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWjPHP4EKqN
我：話說今日我去私影時都就嚟出水586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAmUMXvJqyg
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7E1AkE021z
Annie：你都冇閪，點出水？586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwBiH0oLXtx
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDPcv5t9dkY
我：人工閪😏586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQSAjJGJXjp
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDX4Rq71YK3
Annie：😳😳586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡADefS9wVSU
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgpbUdFTt1Y
我：你嚟上我啦（笑喊586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ12QZHS9G0v
586Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXXTI48MnCk
今晚看似她已經把我說的「豬扒」拋諸腦後；另一方面，我們已經聊了1.5個月，我三番四次約會她，她都不出來，漸漸地我也被磨去了耐性和動力。我開始有點迷惘，下次應該如何提出約會，還是只保持網上關係就罷了？
Penana
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