在TG上,大家互相交換照片,今年的動漫節我只去了兩天。624Please respect copyright.PENANAcYtB6R83kb
624Please respect copyright.PENANAkwm7NfDRxw
Annie看完我cosplay男角和女角的照片,她看到其中一張我cosplay著女角跟一另一名女coser的合照,便回應:624Please respect copyright.PENANAUZVZpMlpIx
624Please respect copyright.PENANACFQDs2tBHt
Annie:你隔離嗰條女好靚,你啲frd嚟?624Please respect copyright.PENANARrVD4zii8Z
624Please respect copyright.PENANAxCpwh6G07t
我:梗係唔係啦,啱啱先識嘅(笑喊624Please respect copyright.PENANANOgyIIpfiL
624Please respect copyright.PENANAunIiKBaQAb
接著Annie也給她的化妝照我看,又交流著化妝心得。624Please respect copyright.PENANAaXkpZ34BD4
624Please respect copyright.PENANABpqJlv0W3g
論「擠牙膏式」聊天戰術,對我來講cosplay、化妝、寫網絡小說,這三大話題是最長壽命的話題,能用來談很長、很長的時間。624Please respect copyright.PENANATCF38IBmq8
624Please respect copyright.PENANAu8CK0vpy1m
總之,我最終目的就是要把她約出來見面!624Please respect copyright.PENANAJUImAyylCm
624Please respect copyright.PENANAo8cYy9xfCK
每次我以cosplay裝扮出席這類活動時,都必定認識到新朋友,男女都有,也是同樣cosplay的人,然後他們都會跟我交換IG。624Please respect copyright.PENANAnVGCvAxXkG
624Please respect copyright.PENANAb89HmgcceT
在我的IG裡,粉絲頗多,主要有兩類:一是從cosplay圈認識的人,二是我從網上寫小說而招來的讀者粉絲和其他作者。624Please respect copyright.PENANA6MaKQkWrDG
624Please respect copyright.PENANAQdMATake89
每逢我發佈小說的宣傳文,只有十幾個讚好,但當我發佈cosplay照時,不論是男裝還是女裝,總會引來多3倍的讚好,真是人靠衣裝。624Please respect copyright.PENANAMZbNJvPlDN
624Please respect copyright.PENANA08AgcconPR
因此有人會覺得我的朋友圈子大,但其實這只不過是假象;因為我都很少與人會面,平日頂多都是跟我唯一好友Jason見面或獨自一人到cafe消閑。624Please respect copyright.PENANAEZDsTXccNN
624Please respect copyright.PENANA4N1ulO89zr
Annie:你個樣本身可以好女仔,出街實冇人知你係偽娘。624Please respect copyright.PENANA2F2oGXhMpl
624Please respect copyright.PENANAGrySxkDGgU
我:但冇計啦我太高喇,實出賣男兒身㗎(笑喊624Please respect copyright.PENANAzN5sfs7SJM
624Please respect copyright.PENANAxBqsGf45jH
Annie:其實我好憎啲男仔睇樣624Please respect copyright.PENANAQ3cx00rMCF
624Please respect copyright.PENANARUk9dWL3rx
我:做咩突然間講呢啲嘅?624Please respect copyright.PENANAwWOyqpSemt
624Please respect copyright.PENANAkAmgpHACMJ
Annie:以前試過交換完相之後,條仔嫌我肥,就即block我624Please respect copyright.PENANAfiAxBnAgHu
Annie:我真係好自卑624Please respect copyright.PENANAENE4vhycBd
Annie:啲人成日都同我講,話我個樣唔差,叫我扮下靚就有624Please respect copyright.PENANA6tNsmp9lvM
Annie:佢哋口口聲話唔介意肥閪,但係行動上就好誠實咁話我知,佢哋跟本介意。624Please respect copyright.PENANAvbUvTPVk9b
624Please respect copyright.PENANAEMfGzXr7qS
其實我也很清楚知道,這個世上沒有絕對的零歧視。很多時候人只是出於禮貌,而在表面的社交應酬上,包裝自己的說話,但心裡仍然保留真正的自己。624Please respect copyright.PENANAfla4Hg4ebv
624Please respect copyright.PENANA6rabXlCWsV
所以我的世界觀是:適者生存,與其努力去改變世界,倒不如學習保護自己。624Please respect copyright.PENANAt1WPB7hepw
624Please respect copyright.PENANAtQbNA3tTaB
偽娘也會被歧視嗎?當然有,只是我比較幸運,身邊的人大致上都是禮貌跟我相處;或可能有人心底裡不喜歡,但我相信既然有人不喜歡,那麼總有人喜歡,每個人總會找到自己的一套生存之道,多訓練自己的敏感度,便可容易地觀察人心,從而使自己作更好的決定。624Please respect copyright.PENANAs6hV2TERUF
624Please respect copyright.PENANARcWoXxCDUA
所以在前面說到創建Tinder帳號時,我都說,即管大膽表明自己是偽娘身份,當有人被我吸引進來之後,再慢慢過濾誰是真正交友。624Please respect copyright.PENANAhI3gMQqdNE
624Please respect copyright.PENANABWQt07y2H7
或許有人問:你這樣不辛苦嗎?不做偽娘就好了。624Please respect copyright.PENANAgAUW3wTXlp
624Please respect copyright.PENANAuiuk9TObDM
我會反駁:食得鹹魚抵得渴,為心靈滿足而選擇紋身的人,會害怕生活上的阻礙而放棄嗎?624Please respect copyright.PENANACdOavKkS80
624Please respect copyright.PENANAOSErScSTyr
我們又繼續聊,然後我嘗試開玩笑地拋出一句。624Please respect copyright.PENANAndq1Ao5FKH
624Please respect copyright.PENANADvHyF8wOEJ
我:我好想食豬扒飯。624Please respect copyright.PENANAoihhN2YCc4
我:不過我想食你件豬多啲(笑喊624Please respect copyright.PENANAulyfgJDRah
624Please respect copyright.PENANA97xiTpGizQ
Annie:我唔係豬扒!!624Please respect copyright.PENANA96uxD4Cmi9
624Please respect copyright.PENANAamtN8c5B6g
糟糕了,我講錯說話,焦慮的我想嘗試修復。624Please respect copyright.PENANAo5lY6c3rmX
624Please respect copyright.PENANAyn5R5DURqT
我:豬扒都有豬扒嘅好(笑喊624Please respect copyright.PENANAE1qhOlQxgu
624Please respect copyright.PENANAi2gK8fbS6u
Annie:可以啪啪聲嘛(大笑624Please respect copyright.PENANASw5dqp3aOZ
Annie:同埋,我呢啲高嘅係叫坦克車唔係豬扒624Please respect copyright.PENANA4aVq31BFjC
624Please respect copyright.PENANA3G7PH4x3xI
最原始的對話版本我已經忘記了,也刪了;總之大概記得,我以「豬扒」這個詞語來開玩笑,說過幾句;但是勾起了Annie的怒火,而我又嘗試熄滅。624Please respect copyright.PENANA0RpV44pSde
624Please respect copyright.PENANAGYQlf0jy3M
我:噢,原來我一路以嚟攪錯咗豬扒呢個term嘅用法。624Please respect copyright.PENANAtx3fzsWe6B
624Please respect copyright.PENANAi0bR7gh87I
沒辦法下,我只好裝傻混過去。624Please respect copyright.PENANANGI2L7txc0
624Please respect copyright.PENANAfXLPex46sq
本以為如此便蒙混過關,於是我們又如常地相處下去。624Please respect copyright.PENANAoucaCXFGlS
624Please respect copyright.PENANAdF1Tha9VHM
接著幾天後,我又約了一個攝影師在派對房裡拍攝泳裝照片;但是照片要修圖,要等待一陣日子才有。624Please respect copyright.PENANAal6t79NQBA
624Please respect copyright.PENANA0kx2jMSqMu
這晚我又跟Annie聊到半夜三更。624Please respect copyright.PENANA7BuCiBCdJb
624Please respect copyright.PENANAhz9DBBuXHv
Annie:你去影泳衣咁有冇相?624Please respect copyright.PENANAXrf0pTBJ2D
624Please respect copyright.PENANApU88cwAZym
我如實地交代暫未有相片,只有一張我當場的自拍照,是上身照,相中的我看起來與一個穿三點式的女人無異。624Please respect copyright.PENANAcvgjskDtLv
624Please respect copyright.PENANAqRGqGNfTTs
艷濃的妝容、長長的啡捲髮、以及黑色三點式泳裝,露出大面積白皙的肌膚,正正是我當時的打扮。624Please respect copyright.PENANAwpbSZF5KVC
624Please respect copyright.PENANA4FHnAkIziz
Annie:慘囉慘囉,連你都咁靚。624Please respect copyright.PENANAR98SmtrEPN
Annie:我一見到有排骨精就有種想保護佢嘅感覺624Please respect copyright.PENANANHkSqQ4nk0
Annie:驚佢俾風吹走624Please respect copyright.PENANAcXd4Aogdq7
624Please respect copyright.PENANAOMfJoasQuZ
我:你講緊邊個排骨呀?(笑喊624Please respect copyright.PENANAeY25hpTrUz
624Please respect copyright.PENANAdAJ5njXgxn
Annie:我好唔中意啲男仔自大624Please respect copyright.PENANAX6P4eUi9bN
Annie:見過有啲男仔喺網上露佢自己上身624Please respect copyright.PENANAgETd4oCLFI
Annie:佢以為自己有六舊,有好大條J624Please respect copyright.PENANASIyy21Yb0p
624Please respect copyright.PENANAZc5WXy8X3e
我:俾著係我直情同人講:我冇J㗎(笑喊624Please respect copyright.PENANAN84XY2qm3r
我:冇六舊肌同大J,咁咪做返女人囉(笑喊624Please respect copyright.PENANACiI1S0dIjW
624Please respect copyright.PENANAWqBOPNKe0s
我不像一般的某些直男,在網上放出袒露上身的大漢照。不穿衣服,我都會,只是我不會這樣表達而已。624Please respect copyright.PENANAvK5DhGiP4D
624Please respect copyright.PENANA7xjSi4q8Sd
事實上,我的確在Tinder放過一張三點式泳裝照,還有假髮和妝容;並不是因為我對自己男性特徵(例如6腹肌)沒自信,而純粹是因為我喜歡美麗的自己。624Please respect copyright.PENANACfK5RJhq6F
624Please respect copyright.PENANADRwi1bDZIa
以火影忍者的語言說,大多數男人都是使用鳴人的「逆後宮術」,而我則只是在用「後宮術」,一個「逆」字只是男版和女版的分別。624Please respect copyright.PENANApvJjCk1Gqr
624Please respect copyright.PENANA3b8EQDEWRH
Annie:半夜三更瞓唔著,突然性起,傾吓性?624Please respect copyright.PENANAzyMocpve0r
624Please respect copyright.PENANA7WYBRJZUQP
我:你做乜咁突然想講18禁呀?M到?(笑喊624Please respect copyright.PENANAeuBdu8MO5N
624Please respect copyright.PENANAmIsN5KYtfA
Annie:係呀,你又知?(笑喊624Please respect copyright.PENANAy37vwIQUfc
624Please respect copyright.PENANAJDYheYSJkF
我:我憑直覺亂估咋624Please respect copyright.PENANAg2Xk1lU7cO
624Please respect copyright.PENANAYppDK45g6V
Annie:好奇想知你唔打飛機㗎咩?624Please respect copyright.PENANACInZWzR8en
624Please respect copyright.PENANAFLaNrR0StA
我思索了一會,然後回覆。624Please respect copyright.PENANAACfnPplF3O
624Please respect copyright.PENANA0KTpBYKax5
我:打呀,但我嘅性幻想唔係男女扑嘢咁簡單。624Please respect copyright.PENANAyeFma7vw04
624Please respect copyright.PENANA8Qi9vaibvi
我的性癖,是戀物。事實上對於女性的胸、陰道,不是主要的興趣;因此如果有大胸妹子在我面前引誘我,是沒有用的;唯一能刺中我「死穴」的只有女裝。624Please respect copyright.PENANAJFw2yw5a2z
624Please respect copyright.PENANAOHxrWNXyS3
Annie:我屋企都有兩件sex toy624Please respect copyright.PENANAs9JrT1blLG
Annie:我試過自己裝上假J然後插落第二條女度624Please respect copyright.PENANANBoivWvyDy
624Please respect copyright.PENANAxC0njXAItJ
我:你本身都係bi?624Please respect copyright.PENANAGY3DyfEBrj
624Please respect copyright.PENANAhuemVb1org
Annie:唔係嘅,只係貪屌女仔好玩(大笑624Please respect copyright.PENANAxwWWD3N2bi
624Please respect copyright.PENANAws07cMzk4Q
我:話說今日我去私影時都就嚟出水624Please respect copyright.PENANAumVOoCOIcp
624Please respect copyright.PENANAGvf9XS3LSq
Annie:你都冇閪,點出水?624Please respect copyright.PENANAKtz6X389Bn
624Please respect copyright.PENANAnNADeUy2Zj
我:人工閪😏624Please respect copyright.PENANAZNy7kqUB5c
624Please respect copyright.PENANAlc0SJUMEH4
Annie:😳😳624Please respect copyright.PENANAFvl2xp49Fl
624Please respect copyright.PENANAvaTqbzb8wd
我:你嚟上我啦(笑喊624Please respect copyright.PENANAsJxxldr8K7
624Please respect copyright.PENANAKZYhAg4tVr
今晚看似她已經把我說的「豬扒」拋諸腦後;另一方面,我們已經聊了1.5個月,我三番四次約會她,她都不出來,漸漸地我也被磨去了耐性和動力。我開始有點迷惘,下次應該如何提出約會,還是只保持網上關係就罷了?