在TG上,大家互相交換照片,今年的動漫節我只去了兩天。580Please respect copyright.PENANAvL9OHvRVHJ
580Please respect copyright.PENANAePmmSPpN3l
Annie看完我cosplay男角和女角的照片,她看到其中一張我cosplay著女角跟一另一名女coser的合照,便回應:580Please respect copyright.PENANAdoSzf2SW1A
580Please respect copyright.PENANAoRg3Hnken4
Annie:你隔離嗰條女好靚,你啲frd嚟?580Please respect copyright.PENANAc35HNruYFB
580Please respect copyright.PENANA9XiOsTQ73j
我:梗係唔係啦,啱啱先識嘅(笑喊580Please respect copyright.PENANAmW9ABawDOA
580Please respect copyright.PENANArc7MigCO6l
接著Annie也給她的化妝照我看,又交流著化妝心得。580Please respect copyright.PENANA3mcpDs0VOt
580Please respect copyright.PENANAwBa8MmvXEx
論「擠牙膏式」聊天戰術,對我來講cosplay、化妝、寫網絡小說,這三大話題是最長壽命的話題,能用來談很長、很長的時間。580Please respect copyright.PENANAOjXoQ3Mx2t
580Please respect copyright.PENANAaz2F42Eh2r
總之,我最終目的就是要把她約出來見面!580Please respect copyright.PENANAvzbSxMEVxU
580Please respect copyright.PENANAV6phOm4sMJ
每次我以cosplay裝扮出席這類活動時,都必定認識到新朋友,男女都有,也是同樣cosplay的人,然後他們都會跟我交換IG。580Please respect copyright.PENANAcVfxPhggh3
580Please respect copyright.PENANAPCNo5KKrjX
在我的IG裡,粉絲頗多,主要有兩類:一是從cosplay圈認識的人,二是我從網上寫小說而招來的讀者粉絲和其他作者。580Please respect copyright.PENANA1pDEBds5yE
580Please respect copyright.PENANAexm1Jy4zFh
每逢我發佈小說的宣傳文,只有十幾個讚好,但當我發佈cosplay照時,不論是男裝還是女裝,總會引來多3倍的讚好,真是人靠衣裝。580Please respect copyright.PENANAQC43uwTPvm
580Please respect copyright.PENANAYKty8fDNVh
因此有人會覺得我的朋友圈子大,但其實這只不過是假象;因為我都很少與人會面,平日頂多都是跟我唯一好友Jason見面或獨自一人到cafe消閑。580Please respect copyright.PENANADXQcTG6x2z
580Please respect copyright.PENANASg0MqV2KIK
Annie:你個樣本身可以好女仔,出街實冇人知你係偽娘。580Please respect copyright.PENANApi831aDTSW
580Please respect copyright.PENANA7hcerRrWof
我:但冇計啦我太高喇,實出賣男兒身㗎(笑喊580Please respect copyright.PENANAoZiCqFqH9R
580Please respect copyright.PENANAKdZ4xksF8z
Annie:其實我好憎啲男仔睇樣580Please respect copyright.PENANAiW8yHYEYkU
580Please respect copyright.PENANAkCbxbdPcgv
我:做咩突然間講呢啲嘅?580Please respect copyright.PENANAy0w9lFfHd4
580Please respect copyright.PENANAQwAxRf9dzF
Annie:以前試過交換完相之後,條仔嫌我肥,就即block我580Please respect copyright.PENANAodFTSD5l1x
Annie:我真係好自卑580Please respect copyright.PENANAcyabjRjgkj
Annie:啲人成日都同我講,話我個樣唔差,叫我扮下靚就有580Please respect copyright.PENANA2D4DCfWFwP
Annie:佢哋口口聲話唔介意肥閪,但係行動上就好誠實咁話我知,佢哋跟本介意。580Please respect copyright.PENANA9rHVMllYlQ
580Please respect copyright.PENANAC2wnyK6LW7
其實我也很清楚知道,這個世上沒有絕對的零歧視。很多時候人只是出於禮貌,而在表面的社交應酬上,包裝自己的說話,但心裡仍然保留真正的自己。580Please respect copyright.PENANAo9aOlM7k3u
580Please respect copyright.PENANAW6JuwWAtrO
所以我的世界觀是:適者生存,與其努力去改變世界,倒不如學習保護自己。580Please respect copyright.PENANAQEMOqUCIQN
580Please respect copyright.PENANAbDn8exQOAT
偽娘也會被歧視嗎?當然有,只是我比較幸運,身邊的人大致上都是禮貌跟我相處;或可能有人心底裡不喜歡,但我相信既然有人不喜歡,那麼總有人喜歡,每個人總會找到自己的一套生存之道,多訓練自己的敏感度,便可容易地觀察人心,從而使自己作更好的決定。580Please respect copyright.PENANAFsgM3kdbOr
580Please respect copyright.PENANAh97MLO8o6e
所以在前面說到創建Tinder帳號時,我都說,即管大膽表明自己是偽娘身份,當有人被我吸引進來之後,再慢慢過濾誰是真正交友。580Please respect copyright.PENANAzhLkhw4Arc
580Please respect copyright.PENANAfIOEx8gBn1
或許有人問:你這樣不辛苦嗎?不做偽娘就好了。580Please respect copyright.PENANA8ASd0p5XbC
580Please respect copyright.PENANAEMnN0zFiIK
我會反駁:食得鹹魚抵得渴,為心靈滿足而選擇紋身的人,會害怕生活上的阻礙而放棄嗎?580Please respect copyright.PENANAbUMJ7zprxZ
580Please respect copyright.PENANAqa3aPb4e0b
我們又繼續聊,然後我嘗試開玩笑地拋出一句。580Please respect copyright.PENANA44bxoIfAmO
580Please respect copyright.PENANA61YqXZvqc0
我:我好想食豬扒飯。580Please respect copyright.PENANA5lh2YObFKe
我:不過我想食你件豬多啲(笑喊580Please respect copyright.PENANAPKzl0XJM8A
580Please respect copyright.PENANAYYV7ngLnl6
Annie:我唔係豬扒!!580Please respect copyright.PENANALXeuzsM4Vy
580Please respect copyright.PENANARo6wkBgQCC
糟糕了,我講錯說話,焦慮的我想嘗試修復。580Please respect copyright.PENANAYCso4yXYhW
580Please respect copyright.PENANAu9w3pRnGSE
我:豬扒都有豬扒嘅好(笑喊580Please respect copyright.PENANArSxHfT5G3G
580Please respect copyright.PENANA23pghCZNo9
Annie:可以啪啪聲嘛(大笑580Please respect copyright.PENANAzyukUhR6Ba
Annie:同埋,我呢啲高嘅係叫坦克車唔係豬扒580Please respect copyright.PENANAr0HT1lKpM4
580Please respect copyright.PENANAWOQsNR4szy
最原始的對話版本我已經忘記了,也刪了;總之大概記得,我以「豬扒」這個詞語來開玩笑,說過幾句;但是勾起了Annie的怒火,而我又嘗試熄滅。580Please respect copyright.PENANAt2edb1bYMi
580Please respect copyright.PENANAGULSCW0VJZ
我:噢,原來我一路以嚟攪錯咗豬扒呢個term嘅用法。580Please respect copyright.PENANAWwu7zJZeLj
580Please respect copyright.PENANAhxCLv4Tzj8
沒辦法下,我只好裝傻混過去。580Please respect copyright.PENANAN5CQCsygPo
580Please respect copyright.PENANAnAGMADuA9m
本以為如此便蒙混過關,於是我們又如常地相處下去。580Please respect copyright.PENANATaseyVXY25
580Please respect copyright.PENANAglf7d0eUhN
接著幾天後,我又約了一個攝影師在派對房裡拍攝泳裝照片;但是照片要修圖,要等待一陣日子才有。580Please respect copyright.PENANAirz6b84zS4
580Please respect copyright.PENANAbm6HNWkVuD
這晚我又跟Annie聊到半夜三更。580Please respect copyright.PENANABTRK9bGrWM
580Please respect copyright.PENANApd65SZ8czw
Annie:你去影泳衣咁有冇相?580Please respect copyright.PENANAg4Q7GMpF8F
580Please respect copyright.PENANAu9keD6m7r5
我如實地交代暫未有相片,只有一張我當場的自拍照,是上身照,相中的我看起來與一個穿三點式的女人無異。580Please respect copyright.PENANAes9uAu7cvo
580Please respect copyright.PENANAyR9hl4yjYV
艷濃的妝容、長長的啡捲髮、以及黑色三點式泳裝,露出大面積白皙的肌膚,正正是我當時的打扮。580Please respect copyright.PENANAb3rUmBIXRE
580Please respect copyright.PENANA57X3ptJWNv
Annie:慘囉慘囉,連你都咁靚。580Please respect copyright.PENANAZWWS3MF7IK
Annie:我一見到有排骨精就有種想保護佢嘅感覺580Please respect copyright.PENANAPpYlvOnFjK
Annie:驚佢俾風吹走580Please respect copyright.PENANAhoPunYHkRt
580Please respect copyright.PENANAGVLZ7JtR1Q
我:你講緊邊個排骨呀?(笑喊580Please respect copyright.PENANA48MiUXoODQ
580Please respect copyright.PENANAuWz31qkUZn
Annie:我好唔中意啲男仔自大580Please respect copyright.PENANApLVWMhGBR9
Annie:見過有啲男仔喺網上露佢自己上身580Please respect copyright.PENANAzUsmRfMl9P
Annie:佢以為自己有六舊,有好大條J580Please respect copyright.PENANAKBBpr16kmO
580Please respect copyright.PENANA7axkcf8rKt
我:俾著係我直情同人講:我冇J㗎(笑喊580Please respect copyright.PENANAarYyDCMIz7
我:冇六舊肌同大J,咁咪做返女人囉(笑喊580Please respect copyright.PENANABz3qO0DHvu
580Please respect copyright.PENANA6YDftHBjA6
我不像一般的某些直男,在網上放出袒露上身的大漢照。不穿衣服,我都會,只是我不會這樣表達而已。580Please respect copyright.PENANAgrrS5rdneL
580Please respect copyright.PENANADv8Lar9Af7
事實上,我的確在Tinder放過一張三點式泳裝照,還有假髮和妝容;並不是因為我對自己男性特徵(例如6腹肌)沒自信,而純粹是因為我喜歡美麗的自己。580Please respect copyright.PENANAdAeCnnW14M
580Please respect copyright.PENANAnUtSIA1Txk
以火影忍者的語言說,大多數男人都是使用鳴人的「逆後宮術」,而我則只是在用「後宮術」,一個「逆」字只是男版和女版的分別。580Please respect copyright.PENANAfF6blyEdM7
580Please respect copyright.PENANAnBB8T1ZsbL
Annie:半夜三更瞓唔著,突然性起,傾吓性?580Please respect copyright.PENANA4RAKs5gIba
580Please respect copyright.PENANA2cd7idxse5
我:你做乜咁突然想講18禁呀?M到?(笑喊580Please respect copyright.PENANAB5WvaCil7D
580Please respect copyright.PENANA2VrKx9o9aT
Annie:係呀,你又知?(笑喊580Please respect copyright.PENANAv5cUIVx2AS
580Please respect copyright.PENANATDoF0I9sU8
我:我憑直覺亂估咋580Please respect copyright.PENANAfyKJXuoxoF
580Please respect copyright.PENANAkoJnwghcxA
Annie:好奇想知你唔打飛機㗎咩?580Please respect copyright.PENANAPuCHFBQUtj
580Please respect copyright.PENANArl3wQjA1E2
我思索了一會,然後回覆。580Please respect copyright.PENANASjmh5DQ2dY
580Please respect copyright.PENANABQau3pndqv
我:打呀,但我嘅性幻想唔係男女扑嘢咁簡單。580Please respect copyright.PENANA1h1AwodGeZ
580Please respect copyright.PENANAsn4FDnGfxH
我的性癖,是戀物。事實上對於女性的胸、陰道,不是主要的興趣;因此如果有大胸妹子在我面前引誘我,是沒有用的;唯一能刺中我「死穴」的只有女裝。580Please respect copyright.PENANA4UXFP41ACm
580Please respect copyright.PENANAKfnLgzugU3
Annie:我屋企都有兩件sex toy580Please respect copyright.PENANAwASwx7Og1N
Annie:我試過自己裝上假J然後插落第二條女度580Please respect copyright.PENANAasuLcp8MVR
580Please respect copyright.PENANAaxViPrMBt7
我:你本身都係bi?580Please respect copyright.PENANAHxTeUwbEgs
580Please respect copyright.PENANA2DGXlbhGe2
Annie:唔係嘅,只係貪屌女仔好玩(大笑580Please respect copyright.PENANA1AL2emk0Mg
580Please respect copyright.PENANAMc4Q0Q7xCe
我:話說今日我去私影時都就嚟出水580Please respect copyright.PENANAMOwquvG76b
580Please respect copyright.PENANAzi7T6VWb1O
Annie:你都冇閪,點出水?580Please respect copyright.PENANANSanSuCgRO
580Please respect copyright.PENANAsvcbLMZ8ji
我:人工閪😏580Please respect copyright.PENANAPnIr5aY9vf
580Please respect copyright.PENANANx3FwKsP4A
Annie:😳😳580Please respect copyright.PENANAzCYmSpwNr1
580Please respect copyright.PENANAUPMjGv9NIR
我:你嚟上我啦(笑喊580Please respect copyright.PENANArmKphtUwwL
580Please respect copyright.PENANAHaYz0WrKgh
今晚看似她已經把我說的「豬扒」拋諸腦後;另一方面,我們已經聊了1.5個月,我三番四次約會她,她都不出來,漸漸地我也被磨去了耐性和動力。我開始有點迷惘,下次應該如何提出約會,還是只保持網上關係就罷了?