在TG上，大家互相交換照片，今年的動漫節我只去了兩天。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcYtB6R83kb
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkwm7NfDRxw
Annie看完我cosplay男角和女角的照片，她看到其中一張我cosplay著女角跟一另一名女coser的合照，便回應：624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUZVZpMlpIx
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFQDs2tBHt
Annie：你隔離嗰條女好靚，你啲frd嚟？624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRrVD4zii8Z
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCpwh6G07t
我：梗係唔係啦，啱啱先識嘅（笑喊624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNOgyIIpfiL
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡunIiKBaQAb
接著Annie也給她的化妝照我看，又交流著化妝心得。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaXkpZ34BD4
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBpqJlv0W3g
論「擠牙膏式」聊天戰術，對我來講cosplay、化妝、寫網絡小說，這三大話題是最長壽命的話題，能用來談很長、很長的時間。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTCF38IBmq8
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu8CK0vpy1m
總之，我最終目的就是要把她約出來見面！624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJUImAyylCm
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo8cYy9xfCK
每次我以cosplay裝扮出席這類活動時，都必定認識到新朋友，男女都有，也是同樣cosplay的人，然後他們都會跟我交換IG。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnVGCvAxXkG
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb89HmgcceT
在我的IG裡，粉絲頗多，主要有兩類：一是從cosplay圈認識的人，二是我從網上寫小說而招來的讀者粉絲和其他作者。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6MaKQkWrDG
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQdMATake89
每逢我發佈小說的宣傳文，只有十幾個讚好，但當我發佈cosplay照時，不論是男裝還是女裝，總會引來多3倍的讚好，真是人靠衣裝。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMZbNJvPlDN
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ08AgcconPR
因此有人會覺得我的朋友圈子大，但其實這只不過是假象；因為我都很少與人會面，平日頂多都是跟我唯一好友Jason見面或獨自一人到cafe消閑。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEZDsTXccNN
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4N1ulO89zr
Annie：你個樣本身可以好女仔，出街實冇人知你係偽娘。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2F2oGXhMpl
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGrySxkDGgU
我：但冇計啦我太高喇，實出賣男兒身㗎（笑喊624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzN5sfs7SJM
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxBqsGf45jH
Annie：其實我好憎啲男仔睇樣624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ3cx00rMCF
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRUk9dWL3rx
我：做咩突然間講呢啲嘅？624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwWOyqpSemt
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkAmgpHACMJ
Annie：以前試過交換完相之後，條仔嫌我肥，就即block我624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfiAxBnAgHu
Annie：我真係好自卑624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡENE4vhycBd
Annie：啲人成日都同我講，話我個樣唔差，叫我扮下靚就有624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6tNsmp9lvM
Annie：佢哋口口聲話唔介意肥閪，但係行動上就好誠實咁話我知，佢哋跟本介意。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvbUvTPVk9b
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEMfGzXr7qS
其實我也很清楚知道，這個世上沒有絕對的零歧視。很多時候人只是出於禮貌，而在表面的社交應酬上，包裝自己的說話，但心裡仍然保留真正的自己。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfla4Hg4ebv
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6rabXlCWsV
所以我的世界觀是：適者生存，與其努力去改變世界，倒不如學習保護自己。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt1WPB7hepw
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtQbNA3tTaB
偽娘也會被歧視嗎？當然有，只是我比較幸運，身邊的人大致上都是禮貌跟我相處；或可能有人心底裡不喜歡，但我相信既然有人不喜歡，那麼總有人喜歡，每個人總會找到自己的一套生存之道，多訓練自己的敏感度，便可容易地觀察人心，從而使自己作更好的決定。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs6hV2TERUF
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRcWoXxCDUA
所以在前面說到創建Tinder帳號時，我都說，即管大膽表明自己是偽娘身份，當有人被我吸引進來之後，再慢慢過濾誰是真正交友。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhI3gMQqdNE
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBWQt07y2H7
或許有人問：你這樣不辛苦嗎？不做偽娘就好了。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgAUW3wTXlp
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuiuk9TObDM
我會反駁：食得鹹魚抵得渴，為心靈滿足而選擇紋身的人，會害怕生活上的阻礙而放棄嗎？624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCdOavKkS80
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOSErScSTyr
我們又繼續聊，然後我嘗試開玩笑地拋出一句。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡndq1Ao5FKH
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDvHyF8wOEJ
我：我好想食豬扒飯。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoihhN2YCc4
我：不過我想食你件豬多啲（笑喊624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡulyfgJDRah
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ97xiTpGizQ
Annie：我唔係豬扒！！624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ96uxD4Cmi9
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡamtN8c5B6g
糟糕了，我講錯說話，焦慮的我想嘗試修復。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo5lY6c3rmX
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyn5R5DURqT
我：豬扒都有豬扒嘅好（笑喊624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE1qhOlQxgu
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi2gK8fbS6u
Annie：可以啪啪聲嘛（大笑624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSw5dqp3aOZ
Annie：同埋，我呢啲高嘅係叫坦克車唔係豬扒624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4aVq31BFjC
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3G7PH4x3xI
最原始的對話版本我已經忘記了，也刪了；總之大概記得，我以「豬扒」這個詞語來開玩笑，說過幾句；但是勾起了Annie的怒火，而我又嘗試熄滅。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0RpV44pSde
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGYQlf0jy3M
我：噢，原來我一路以嚟攪錯咗豬扒呢個term嘅用法。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtx3fzsWe6B
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi0bR7gh87I
沒辦法下，我只好裝傻混過去。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNGI2L7txc0
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfXLPex46sq
本以為如此便蒙混過關，於是我們又如常地相處下去。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoucaCXFGlS
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdF1Tha9VHM
接著幾天後，我又約了一個攝影師在派對房裡拍攝泳裝照片；但是照片要修圖，要等待一陣日子才有。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡal6t79NQBA
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0kx2jMSqMu
這晚我又跟Annie聊到半夜三更。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7BuCiBCdJb
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhz9DBBuXHv
Annie：你去影泳衣咁有冇相？624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXrf0pTBJ2D
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpU88cwAZym
我如實地交代暫未有相片，只有一張我當場的自拍照，是上身照，相中的我看起來與一個穿三點式的女人無異。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcvgjskDtLv
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqRGqGNfTTs
艷濃的妝容、長長的啡捲髮、以及黑色三點式泳裝，露出大面積白皙的肌膚，正正是我當時的打扮。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwpbSZF5KVC
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4FHnAkIziz
Annie：慘囉慘囉，連你都咁靚。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR98SmtrEPN
Annie：我一見到有排骨精就有種想保護佢嘅感覺624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNHkSqQ4nk0
Annie：驚佢俾風吹走624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcXd4Aogdq7
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOMfJoasQuZ
我：你講緊邊個排骨呀？（笑喊624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeY25hpTrUz
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdAJ5njXgxn
Annie：我好唔中意啲男仔自大624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX6P4eUi9bN
Annie：見過有啲男仔喺網上露佢自己上身624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgETd4oCLFI
Annie：佢以為自己有六舊，有好大條J624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSIyy21Yb0p
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZc5WXy8X3e
我：俾著係我直情同人講：我冇J㗎（笑喊624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN84XY2qm3r
我：冇六舊肌同大J，咁咪做返女人囉（笑喊624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCiI1S0dIjW
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWqBOPNKe0s
我不像一般的某些直男，在網上放出袒露上身的大漢照。不穿衣服，我都會，只是我不會這樣表達而已。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvK5DhGiP4D
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7xjSi4q8Sd
事實上，我的確在Tinder放過一張三點式泳裝照，還有假髮和妝容；並不是因為我對自己男性特徵（例如6腹肌）沒自信，而純粹是因為我喜歡美麗的自己。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCfK5RJhq6F
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDRwi1bDZIa
以火影忍者的語言說，大多數男人都是使用鳴人的「逆後宮術」，而我則只是在用「後宮術」，一個「逆」字只是男版和女版的分別。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpvJjCk1Gqr
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3b8EQDEWRH
Annie：半夜三更瞓唔著，突然性起，傾吓性？624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzyMocpve0r
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7WYBRJZUQP
我：你做乜咁突然想講18禁呀？M到？（笑喊624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeuBdu8MO5N
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmIsN5KYtfA
Annie：係呀，你又知？（笑喊624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy37vwIQUfc
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJDYheYSJkF
我：我憑直覺亂估咋624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg2Xk1lU7cO
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYppDK45g6V
Annie：好奇想知你唔打飛機㗎咩？624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCInZWzR8en
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFLaNrR0StA
我思索了一會，然後回覆。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡACfnPplF3O
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0KTpBYKax5
我：打呀，但我嘅性幻想唔係男女扑嘢咁簡單。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyeFma7vw04
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Qi9vaibvi
我的性癖，是戀物。事實上對於女性的胸、陰道，不是主要的興趣；因此如果有大胸妹子在我面前引誘我，是沒有用的；唯一能刺中我「死穴」的只有女裝。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJFw2yw5a2z
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOHxrWNXyS3
Annie：我屋企都有兩件sex toy624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs9JrT1blLG
Annie：我試過自己裝上假J然後插落第二條女度624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBoivWvyDy
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxC0njXAItJ
我：你本身都係bi？624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGY3DyfEBrj
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhuemVb1org
Annie：唔係嘅，只係貪屌女仔好玩（大笑624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxwWWD3N2bi
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡws07cMzk4Q
我：話說今日我去私影時都就嚟出水624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡumVOoCOIcp
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGvf9XS3LSq
Annie：你都冇閪，點出水？624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKtz6X389Bn
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnNADeUy2Zj
我：人工閪😏624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZNy7kqUB5c
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlc0SJUMEH4
Annie：😳😳624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFvl2xp49Fl
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvaTqbzb8wd
我：你嚟上我啦（笑喊624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsJxxldr8K7
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKZYhAg4tVr
今晚看似她已經把我說的「豬扒」拋諸腦後；另一方面，我們已經聊了1.5個月，我三番四次約會她，她都不出來，漸漸地我也被磨去了耐性和動力。我開始有點迷惘，下次應該如何提出約會，還是只保持網上關係就罷了？
Penana
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