在TG上,大家互相交換照片,今年的動漫節我只去了兩天。560Please respect copyright.PENANAdqG2tfPVHC
560Please respect copyright.PENANAMDutQuwthl
Annie看完我cosplay男角和女角的照片,她看到其中一張我cosplay著女角跟一另一名女coser的合照,便回應:560Please respect copyright.PENANAZlbUbEvnN5
560Please respect copyright.PENANAzZhe4Yn0kq
Annie:你隔離嗰條女好靚,你啲frd嚟?560Please respect copyright.PENANA8SmOkXf6UR
560Please respect copyright.PENANAlE4NDVcYV2
我:梗係唔係啦,啱啱先識嘅(笑喊560Please respect copyright.PENANAuPdIcJMvKI
560Please respect copyright.PENANAyGWoZjXWrS
接著Annie也給她的化妝照我看,又交流著化妝心得。560Please respect copyright.PENANAEpfKoCTeE4
560Please respect copyright.PENANAAxHeZnvtbt
論「擠牙膏式」聊天戰術,對我來講cosplay、化妝、寫網絡小說,這三大話題是最長壽命的話題,能用來談很長、很長的時間。560Please respect copyright.PENANAnVxCic90Vn
560Please respect copyright.PENANAfgklGISsvp
總之,我最終目的就是要把她約出來見面!560Please respect copyright.PENANAIaj8gOPgSe
560Please respect copyright.PENANAxwKv05C4nR
每次我以cosplay裝扮出席這類活動時,都必定認識到新朋友,男女都有,也是同樣cosplay的人,然後他們都會跟我交換IG。560Please respect copyright.PENANArt9aNt0O2Z
560Please respect copyright.PENANASxHQ8b0aqi
在我的IG裡,粉絲頗多,主要有兩類:一是從cosplay圈認識的人,二是我從網上寫小說而招來的讀者粉絲和其他作者。560Please respect copyright.PENANAQRD889N7kj
560Please respect copyright.PENANAk7k5qyAvG8
每逢我發佈小說的宣傳文,只有十幾個讚好,但當我發佈cosplay照時,不論是男裝還是女裝,總會引來多3倍的讚好,真是人靠衣裝。560Please respect copyright.PENANAsaWGG8a8xa
560Please respect copyright.PENANA48Gq6yLbZl
因此有人會覺得我的朋友圈子大,但其實這只不過是假象;因為我都很少與人會面,平日頂多都是跟我唯一好友Jason見面或獨自一人到cafe消閑。560Please respect copyright.PENANAGK9ZkIlzHp
560Please respect copyright.PENANAGZmvVo7yoc
Annie:你個樣本身可以好女仔,出街實冇人知你係偽娘。560Please respect copyright.PENANAP9FFmmXfyZ
560Please respect copyright.PENANAalZhzuUYaA
我:但冇計啦我太高喇,實出賣男兒身㗎(笑喊560Please respect copyright.PENANAbdK0xBMbUz
560Please respect copyright.PENANA3nCZql0nYW
Annie:其實我好憎啲男仔睇樣560Please respect copyright.PENANAftARiUCNq3
560Please respect copyright.PENANAQNdjpqYeZ9
我:做咩突然間講呢啲嘅?560Please respect copyright.PENANAzST9HxCscG
560Please respect copyright.PENANA93VY3PcinI
Annie:以前試過交換完相之後,條仔嫌我肥,就即block我560Please respect copyright.PENANAhN8aGADoqE
Annie:我真係好自卑560Please respect copyright.PENANAIGuiGOMoZl
Annie:啲人成日都同我講,話我個樣唔差,叫我扮下靚就有560Please respect copyright.PENANAzP7WJDUYMJ
Annie:佢哋口口聲話唔介意肥閪,但係行動上就好誠實咁話我知,佢哋跟本介意。560Please respect copyright.PENANAcjwOTvdycY
560Please respect copyright.PENANAtL8ObufDqA
其實我也很清楚知道,這個世上沒有絕對的零歧視。很多時候人只是出於禮貌,而在表面的社交應酬上,包裝自己的說話,但心裡仍然保留真正的自己。560Please respect copyright.PENANA2laKjLWNla
560Please respect copyright.PENANASCwLVGavn7
所以我的世界觀是:適者生存,與其努力去改變世界,倒不如學習保護自己。560Please respect copyright.PENANAHdLAXrMcTh
560Please respect copyright.PENANAXhsrzSuNUP
偽娘也會被歧視嗎?當然有,只是我比較幸運,身邊的人大致上都是禮貌跟我相處;或可能有人心底裡不喜歡,但我相信既然有人不喜歡,那麼總有人喜歡,每個人總會找到自己的一套生存之道,多訓練自己的敏感度,便可容易地觀察人心,從而使自己作更好的決定。560Please respect copyright.PENANAOZxvsB7Urr
560Please respect copyright.PENANAchCQEjq0al
所以在前面說到創建Tinder帳號時,我都說,即管大膽表明自己是偽娘身份,當有人被我吸引進來之後,再慢慢過濾誰是真正交友。560Please respect copyright.PENANAKQc4aOzOFA
560Please respect copyright.PENANAJ5o1CmGFnj
或許有人問:你這樣不辛苦嗎?不做偽娘就好了。560Please respect copyright.PENANAb5qHDjcMiF
560Please respect copyright.PENANA7hNSbZr2Ti
我會反駁:食得鹹魚抵得渴,為心靈滿足而選擇紋身的人,會害怕生活上的阻礙而放棄嗎?560Please respect copyright.PENANA8YPHHlFcmj
560Please respect copyright.PENANAfbZ84wwnPi
我們又繼續聊,然後我嘗試開玩笑地拋出一句。560Please respect copyright.PENANAUa0dycoAPJ
560Please respect copyright.PENANAM1j82q2K60
我:我好想食豬扒飯。560Please respect copyright.PENANA2Jr5BnBVnG
我:不過我想食你件豬多啲(笑喊560Please respect copyright.PENANAsQKQf5v0pl
560Please respect copyright.PENANA5uUi6ZG0WB
Annie:我唔係豬扒!!560Please respect copyright.PENANAxtZtcWhhgb
560Please respect copyright.PENANA5ws947IBCC
糟糕了,我講錯說話,焦慮的我想嘗試修復。560Please respect copyright.PENANAISaA1VeUX2
560Please respect copyright.PENANAEawJqwbdsn
我:豬扒都有豬扒嘅好(笑喊560Please respect copyright.PENANAF5vyvUrYjp
560Please respect copyright.PENANAX2r2PwvSIa
Annie:可以啪啪聲嘛(大笑560Please respect copyright.PENANAJYdZsyN3rQ
Annie:同埋,我呢啲高嘅係叫坦克車唔係豬扒560Please respect copyright.PENANAGlmYkra0S8
560Please respect copyright.PENANAQUX3abWbMt
最原始的對話版本我已經忘記了,也刪了;總之大概記得,我以「豬扒」這個詞語來開玩笑,說過幾句;但是勾起了Annie的怒火,而我又嘗試熄滅。560Please respect copyright.PENANA4CWUYjaEKE
560Please respect copyright.PENANAMLO3xqYHW9
我:噢,原來我一路以嚟攪錯咗豬扒呢個term嘅用法。560Please respect copyright.PENANAj9rkr3yxkH
560Please respect copyright.PENANAvsHmH3vbAD
沒辦法下,我只好裝傻混過去。560Please respect copyright.PENANAMsftMxIlHE
560Please respect copyright.PENANAAgUCISqdwO
本以為如此便蒙混過關,於是我們又如常地相處下去。560Please respect copyright.PENANAXYHnUqZwnI
560Please respect copyright.PENANALHzi0DtfMy
接著幾天後,我又約了一個攝影師在派對房裡拍攝泳裝照片;但是照片要修圖,要等待一陣日子才有。560Please respect copyright.PENANAAcCwHDRKnE
560Please respect copyright.PENANALNsNCjBjLb
這晚我又跟Annie聊到半夜三更。560Please respect copyright.PENANA2hokezuYSV
560Please respect copyright.PENANA7lh3txQqCl
Annie:你去影泳衣咁有冇相?560Please respect copyright.PENANADMb8jQN9Tn
560Please respect copyright.PENANA6d0gAhUVOz
我如實地交代暫未有相片,只有一張我當場的自拍照,是上身照,相中的我看起來與一個穿三點式的女人無異。560Please respect copyright.PENANA0W6NLheeY0
560Please respect copyright.PENANAcCOL5toZce
艷濃的妝容、長長的啡捲髮、以及黑色三點式泳裝,露出大面積白皙的肌膚,正正是我當時的打扮。560Please respect copyright.PENANA3Ntah85Jnw
560Please respect copyright.PENANAxUKZHcdku0
Annie:慘囉慘囉,連你都咁靚。560Please respect copyright.PENANA4zdcq6C3nD
Annie:我一見到有排骨精就有種想保護佢嘅感覺560Please respect copyright.PENANAYmpZqVztr7
Annie:驚佢俾風吹走560Please respect copyright.PENANAyD58KMdtge
560Please respect copyright.PENANAl0meq3HWSm
我:你講緊邊個排骨呀?(笑喊560Please respect copyright.PENANA1y8dG1OPko
560Please respect copyright.PENANAf5DWTnxR2N
Annie:我好唔中意啲男仔自大560Please respect copyright.PENANARFCtRIQeVu
Annie:見過有啲男仔喺網上露佢自己上身560Please respect copyright.PENANAQYMfnkhF1Q
Annie:佢以為自己有六舊,有好大條J560Please respect copyright.PENANA2AG9Bg8fBM
560Please respect copyright.PENANAxs4kFietMU
我:俾著係我直情同人講:我冇J㗎(笑喊560Please respect copyright.PENANAl8WvWuBu1F
我:冇六舊肌同大J,咁咪做返女人囉(笑喊560Please respect copyright.PENANApg9ffuKTLb
560Please respect copyright.PENANAdU97aIZQGv
我不像一般的某些直男,在網上放出袒露上身的大漢照。不穿衣服,我都會,只是我不會這樣表達而已。560Please respect copyright.PENANAFipfqVzq11
560Please respect copyright.PENANAODSK8SW2rO
事實上,我的確在Tinder放過一張三點式泳裝照,還有假髮和妝容;並不是因為我對自己男性特徵(例如6腹肌)沒自信,而純粹是因為我喜歡美麗的自己。560Please respect copyright.PENANA3lEDYxRQ8q
560Please respect copyright.PENANA64cWgJmu2B
以火影忍者的語言說,大多數男人都是使用鳴人的「逆後宮術」,而我則只是在用「後宮術」,一個「逆」字只是男版和女版的分別。560Please respect copyright.PENANApiZw22zFec
560Please respect copyright.PENANA4N6rC3A7FY
Annie:半夜三更瞓唔著,突然性起,傾吓性?560Please respect copyright.PENANAyi6ZoUFpOH
560Please respect copyright.PENANAGJFRuvgXWi
我:你做乜咁突然想講18禁呀?M到?(笑喊560Please respect copyright.PENANA46AT3MfHqc
560Please respect copyright.PENANAI8V2Q2c5vS
Annie:係呀,你又知?(笑喊560Please respect copyright.PENANAOBTsFsYBKv
560Please respect copyright.PENANA1gyJYGCc3d
我:我憑直覺亂估咋560Please respect copyright.PENANAaQuEzGT0ET
560Please respect copyright.PENANAERVz3e4zpv
Annie:好奇想知你唔打飛機㗎咩?560Please respect copyright.PENANARoEWKQglje
560Please respect copyright.PENANAKOXeX5LfZa
我思索了一會,然後回覆。560Please respect copyright.PENANAgavVrNkxVo
560Please respect copyright.PENANAkJcErfukQD
我:打呀,但我嘅性幻想唔係男女扑嘢咁簡單。560Please respect copyright.PENANAn4d5bue2N6
560Please respect copyright.PENANA44ljlhIMVG
我的性癖,是戀物。事實上對於女性的胸、陰道,不是主要的興趣;因此如果有大胸妹子在我面前引誘我,是沒有用的;唯一能刺中我「死穴」的只有女裝。560Please respect copyright.PENANAC9ELpOAuXb
560Please respect copyright.PENANA8tkXCXX55t
Annie:我屋企都有兩件sex toy560Please respect copyright.PENANA1BJy1r6ete
Annie:我試過自己裝上假J然後插落第二條女度560Please respect copyright.PENANA1d0g1wpmwd
560Please respect copyright.PENANANt260ALhca
我:你本身都係bi?560Please respect copyright.PENANAc3bR9xKQEh
560Please respect copyright.PENANAEB3EFcGQjL
Annie:唔係嘅,只係貪屌女仔好玩(大笑560Please respect copyright.PENANA5GEyhxbZGW
560Please respect copyright.PENANAQKQRq4ZhTf
我:話說今日我去私影時都就嚟出水560Please respect copyright.PENANAm5IaBdAnh8
560Please respect copyright.PENANAYzEMa9xec0
Annie:你都冇閪,點出水?560Please respect copyright.PENANA6mtKpyRzcL
560Please respect copyright.PENANA60D4Ryn7VJ
我:人工閪😏560Please respect copyright.PENANAeqEo8lJSXF
560Please respect copyright.PENANAXvnvLOygQ2
Annie:😳😳560Please respect copyright.PENANAiVyLJvTXQm
560Please respect copyright.PENANAmIS755W6sB
我:你嚟上我啦(笑喊560Please respect copyright.PENANAJDoxlVUXYW
560Please respect copyright.PENANALqvRLMKmSy
今晚看似她已經把我說的「豬扒」拋諸腦後;另一方面,我們已經聊了1.5個月,我三番四次約會她,她都不出來,漸漸地我也被磨去了耐性和動力。我開始有點迷惘,下次應該如何提出約會,還是只保持網上關係就罷了?