在TG上，大家互相交換照片，今年的動漫節我只去了兩天。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdqG2tfPVHC
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMDutQuwthl
Annie看完我cosplay男角和女角的照片，她看到其中一張我cosplay著女角跟一另一名女coser的合照，便回應：560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZlbUbEvnN5
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzZhe4Yn0kq
Annie：你隔離嗰條女好靚，你啲frd嚟？560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8SmOkXf6UR
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlE4NDVcYV2
我：梗係唔係啦，啱啱先識嘅（笑喊560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuPdIcJMvKI
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyGWoZjXWrS
接著Annie也給她的化妝照我看，又交流著化妝心得。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEpfKoCTeE4
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAxHeZnvtbt
論「擠牙膏式」聊天戰術，對我來講cosplay、化妝、寫網絡小說，這三大話題是最長壽命的話題，能用來談很長、很長的時間。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnVxCic90Vn
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfgklGISsvp
總之，我最終目的就是要把她約出來見面！560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIaj8gOPgSe
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxwKv05C4nR
每次我以cosplay裝扮出席這類活動時，都必定認識到新朋友，男女都有，也是同樣cosplay的人，然後他們都會跟我交換IG。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrt9aNt0O2Z
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSxHQ8b0aqi
在我的IG裡，粉絲頗多，主要有兩類：一是從cosplay圈認識的人，二是我從網上寫小說而招來的讀者粉絲和其他作者。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQRD889N7kj
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk7k5qyAvG8
每逢我發佈小說的宣傳文，只有十幾個讚好，但當我發佈cosplay照時，不論是男裝還是女裝，總會引來多3倍的讚好，真是人靠衣裝。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsaWGG8a8xa
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48Gq6yLbZl
因此有人會覺得我的朋友圈子大，但其實這只不過是假象；因為我都很少與人會面，平日頂多都是跟我唯一好友Jason見面或獨自一人到cafe消閑。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGK9ZkIlzHp
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGZmvVo7yoc
Annie：你個樣本身可以好女仔，出街實冇人知你係偽娘。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP9FFmmXfyZ
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡalZhzuUYaA
我：但冇計啦我太高喇，實出賣男兒身㗎（笑喊560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbdK0xBMbUz
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3nCZql0nYW
Annie：其實我好憎啲男仔睇樣560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡftARiUCNq3
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQNdjpqYeZ9
我：做咩突然間講呢啲嘅？560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzST9HxCscG
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ93VY3PcinI
Annie：以前試過交換完相之後，條仔嫌我肥，就即block我560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhN8aGADoqE
Annie：我真係好自卑560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIGuiGOMoZl
Annie：啲人成日都同我講，話我個樣唔差，叫我扮下靚就有560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzP7WJDUYMJ
Annie：佢哋口口聲話唔介意肥閪，但係行動上就好誠實咁話我知，佢哋跟本介意。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcjwOTvdycY
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtL8ObufDqA
其實我也很清楚知道，這個世上沒有絕對的零歧視。很多時候人只是出於禮貌，而在表面的社交應酬上，包裝自己的說話，但心裡仍然保留真正的自己。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2laKjLWNla
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSCwLVGavn7
所以我的世界觀是：適者生存，與其努力去改變世界，倒不如學習保護自己。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHdLAXrMcTh
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXhsrzSuNUP
偽娘也會被歧視嗎？當然有，只是我比較幸運，身邊的人大致上都是禮貌跟我相處；或可能有人心底裡不喜歡，但我相信既然有人不喜歡，那麼總有人喜歡，每個人總會找到自己的一套生存之道，多訓練自己的敏感度，便可容易地觀察人心，從而使自己作更好的決定。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZxvsB7Urr
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡchCQEjq0al
所以在前面說到創建Tinder帳號時，我都說，即管大膽表明自己是偽娘身份，當有人被我吸引進來之後，再慢慢過濾誰是真正交友。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKQc4aOzOFA
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ5o1CmGFnj
或許有人問：你這樣不辛苦嗎？不做偽娘就好了。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb5qHDjcMiF
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7hNSbZr2Ti
我會反駁：食得鹹魚抵得渴，為心靈滿足而選擇紋身的人，會害怕生活上的阻礙而放棄嗎？560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8YPHHlFcmj
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfbZ84wwnPi
我們又繼續聊，然後我嘗試開玩笑地拋出一句。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUa0dycoAPJ
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM1j82q2K60
我：我好想食豬扒飯。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Jr5BnBVnG
我：不過我想食你件豬多啲（笑喊560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQKQf5v0pl
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5uUi6ZG0WB
Annie：我唔係豬扒！！560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxtZtcWhhgb
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ws947IBCC
糟糕了，我講錯說話，焦慮的我想嘗試修復。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡISaA1VeUX2
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEawJqwbdsn
我：豬扒都有豬扒嘅好（笑喊560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF5vyvUrYjp
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX2r2PwvSIa
Annie：可以啪啪聲嘛（大笑560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJYdZsyN3rQ
Annie：同埋，我呢啲高嘅係叫坦克車唔係豬扒560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGlmYkra0S8
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQUX3abWbMt
最原始的對話版本我已經忘記了，也刪了；總之大概記得，我以「豬扒」這個詞語來開玩笑，說過幾句；但是勾起了Annie的怒火，而我又嘗試熄滅。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4CWUYjaEKE
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMLO3xqYHW9
我：噢，原來我一路以嚟攪錯咗豬扒呢個term嘅用法。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj9rkr3yxkH
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvsHmH3vbAD
沒辦法下，我只好裝傻混過去。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMsftMxIlHE
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAgUCISqdwO
本以為如此便蒙混過關，於是我們又如常地相處下去。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXYHnUqZwnI
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLHzi0DtfMy
接著幾天後，我又約了一個攝影師在派對房裡拍攝泳裝照片；但是照片要修圖，要等待一陣日子才有。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAcCwHDRKnE
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLNsNCjBjLb
這晚我又跟Annie聊到半夜三更。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2hokezuYSV
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7lh3txQqCl
Annie：你去影泳衣咁有冇相？560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDMb8jQN9Tn
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6d0gAhUVOz
我如實地交代暫未有相片，只有一張我當場的自拍照，是上身照，相中的我看起來與一個穿三點式的女人無異。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0W6NLheeY0
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcCOL5toZce
艷濃的妝容、長長的啡捲髮、以及黑色三點式泳裝，露出大面積白皙的肌膚，正正是我當時的打扮。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Ntah85Jnw
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxUKZHcdku0
Annie：慘囉慘囉，連你都咁靚。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4zdcq6C3nD
Annie：我一見到有排骨精就有種想保護佢嘅感覺560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYmpZqVztr7
Annie：驚佢俾風吹走560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyD58KMdtge
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl0meq3HWSm
我：你講緊邊個排骨呀？（笑喊560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1y8dG1OPko
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf5DWTnxR2N
Annie：我好唔中意啲男仔自大560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRFCtRIQeVu
Annie：見過有啲男仔喺網上露佢自己上身560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQYMfnkhF1Q
Annie：佢以為自己有六舊，有好大條J560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2AG9Bg8fBM
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxs4kFietMU
我：俾著係我直情同人講：我冇J㗎（笑喊560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl8WvWuBu1F
我：冇六舊肌同大J，咁咪做返女人囉（笑喊560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpg9ffuKTLb
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdU97aIZQGv
我不像一般的某些直男，在網上放出袒露上身的大漢照。不穿衣服，我都會，只是我不會這樣表達而已。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFipfqVzq11
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡODSK8SW2rO
事實上，我的確在Tinder放過一張三點式泳裝照，還有假髮和妝容；並不是因為我對自己男性特徵（例如6腹肌）沒自信，而純粹是因為我喜歡美麗的自己。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3lEDYxRQ8q
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ64cWgJmu2B
以火影忍者的語言說，大多數男人都是使用鳴人的「逆後宮術」，而我則只是在用「後宮術」，一個「逆」字只是男版和女版的分別。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpiZw22zFec
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4N6rC3A7FY
Annie：半夜三更瞓唔著，突然性起，傾吓性？560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyi6ZoUFpOH
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGJFRuvgXWi
我：你做乜咁突然想講18禁呀？M到？（笑喊560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ46AT3MfHqc
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI8V2Q2c5vS
Annie：係呀，你又知？（笑喊560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOBTsFsYBKv
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1gyJYGCc3d
我：我憑直覺亂估咋560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaQuEzGT0ET
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡERVz3e4zpv
Annie：好奇想知你唔打飛機㗎咩？560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRoEWKQglje
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKOXeX5LfZa
我思索了一會，然後回覆。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgavVrNkxVo
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkJcErfukQD
我：打呀，但我嘅性幻想唔係男女扑嘢咁簡單。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4d5bue2N6
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44ljlhIMVG
我的性癖，是戀物。事實上對於女性的胸、陰道，不是主要的興趣；因此如果有大胸妹子在我面前引誘我，是沒有用的；唯一能刺中我「死穴」的只有女裝。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC9ELpOAuXb
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8tkXCXX55t
Annie：我屋企都有兩件sex toy560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1BJy1r6ete
Annie：我試過自己裝上假J然後插落第二條女度560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1d0g1wpmwd
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNt260ALhca
我：你本身都係bi？560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc3bR9xKQEh
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEB3EFcGQjL
Annie：唔係嘅，只係貪屌女仔好玩（大笑560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5GEyhxbZGW
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQKQRq4ZhTf
我：話說今日我去私影時都就嚟出水560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm5IaBdAnh8
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYzEMa9xec0
Annie：你都冇閪，點出水？560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6mtKpyRzcL
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ60D4Ryn7VJ
我：人工閪😏560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeqEo8lJSXF
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXvnvLOygQ2
Annie：😳😳560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiVyLJvTXQm
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmIS755W6sB
我：你嚟上我啦（笑喊560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJDoxlVUXYW
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLqvRLMKmSy
今晚看似她已經把我說的「豬扒」拋諸腦後；另一方面，我們已經聊了1.5個月，我三番四次約會她，她都不出來，漸漸地我也被磨去了耐性和動力。我開始有點迷惘，下次應該如何提出約會，還是只保持網上關係就罷了？
Penana
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