在TG上，大家互相交換照片，今年的動漫節我只去了兩天。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuGFkJwcAym
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuqUtLR6AGW
Annie看完我cosplay男角和女角的照片，她看到其中一張我cosplay著女角跟一另一名女coser的合照，便回應：526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNc2enOd0fX
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHgm3rBwvgU
Annie：你隔離嗰條女好靚，你啲frd嚟？526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmtzC1tLNqh
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1MkNIYfx6m
我：梗係唔係啦，啱啱先識嘅（笑喊526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ73At94dIX4
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW51DsS1ETh
接著Annie也給她的化妝照我看，又交流著化妝心得。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpCyjpE0eFp
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdiNJufqm5q
論「擠牙膏式」聊天戰術，對我來講cosplay、化妝、寫網絡小說，這三大話題是最長壽命的話題，能用來談很長、很長的時間。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK5aQmFBl1f
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMhcAQoMBdM
總之，我最終目的就是要把她約出來見面！526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG3G9N2iqiz
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnA3JhlLYLk
每次我以cosplay裝扮出席這類活動時，都必定認識到新朋友，男女都有，也是同樣cosplay的人，然後他們都會跟我交換IG。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9zbyRwz5RM
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwOzWIbVauR
在我的IG裡，粉絲頗多，主要有兩類：一是從cosplay圈認識的人，二是我從網上寫小說而招來的讀者粉絲和其他作者。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡriizTJIW4N
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZdArKNqRF4
每逢我發佈小說的宣傳文，只有十幾個讚好，但當我發佈cosplay照時，不論是男裝還是女裝，總會引來多3倍的讚好，真是人靠衣裝。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLIg0EdRPva
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa3qDdxaURW
因此有人會覺得我的朋友圈子大，但其實這只不過是假象；因為我都很少與人會面，平日頂多都是跟我唯一好友Jason見面或獨自一人到cafe消閑。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiJBTaB4EVm
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmNXQb7QBdu
Annie：你個樣本身可以好女仔，出街實冇人知你係偽娘。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlcHkRPmMiU
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmqz1LwTCWG
我：但冇計啦我太高喇，實出賣男兒身㗎（笑喊526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb9kMVFzKqb
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8vqMTugRAC
Annie：其實我好憎啲男仔睇樣526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5xLakouOoJ
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbEAudZON6O
我：做咩突然間講呢啲嘅？526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzYQimESTbv
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyDUtZOnRBM
Annie：以前試過交換完相之後，條仔嫌我肥，就即block我526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRHKoe9gVN8
Annie：我真係好自卑526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnaZpeP3zjZ
Annie：啲人成日都同我講，話我個樣唔差，叫我扮下靚就有526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp7jUTnsvr3
Annie：佢哋口口聲話唔介意肥閪，但係行動上就好誠實咁話我知，佢哋跟本介意。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuhywbCOr8C
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUnRu1zhq4r
其實我也很清楚知道，這個世上沒有絕對的零歧視。很多時候人只是出於禮貌，而在表面的社交應酬上，包裝自己的說話，但心裡仍然保留真正的自己。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNMs1Zj5xHW
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoe9RAwdlcA
所以我的世界觀是：適者生存，與其努力去改變世界，倒不如學習保護自己。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrZLWR7cVMG
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0XkciR3QnA
偽娘也會被歧視嗎？當然有，只是我比較幸運，身邊的人大致上都是禮貌跟我相處；或可能有人心底裡不喜歡，但我相信既然有人不喜歡，那麼總有人喜歡，每個人總會找到自己的一套生存之道，多訓練自己的敏感度，便可容易地觀察人心，從而使自己作更好的決定。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHyyO5MWMcP
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡafOHJoB9BF
所以在前面說到創建Tinder帳號時，我都說，即管大膽表明自己是偽娘身份，當有人被我吸引進來之後，再慢慢過濾誰是真正交友。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡextrOxOQKF
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOygJrPSS7g
或許有人問：你這樣不辛苦嗎？不做偽娘就好了。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfFolWLWtgH
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Gb9zfepef
我會反駁：食得鹹魚抵得渴，為心靈滿足而選擇紋身的人，會害怕生活上的阻礙而放棄嗎？526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDV2YmKZ9r1
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGc0Ouod3Ao
我們又繼續聊，然後我嘗試開玩笑地拋出一句。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡloPQpVNPEi
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRfAlnwNnkX
我：我好想食豬扒飯。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXxRIhk8Xia
我：不過我想食你件豬多啲（笑喊526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmioZ8ABruv
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsLfQ0W9ajr
Annie：我唔係豬扒！！526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJHkSfnZvj5
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfOyVN4SO6Y
糟糕了，我講錯說話，焦慮的我想嘗試修復。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXOAOBBSg2o
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGNGFE3hNLj
我：豬扒都有豬扒嘅好（笑喊526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmIb2jBTj9u
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdDWaphfL8Y
Annie：可以啪啪聲嘛（大笑526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWKs9b9EK6t
Annie：同埋，我呢啲高嘅係叫坦克車唔係豬扒526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUVu1rhqrMB
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0XqJq1o27h
最原始的對話版本我已經忘記了，也刪了；總之大概記得，我以「豬扒」這個詞語來開玩笑，說過幾句；但是勾起了Annie的怒火，而我又嘗試熄滅。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡegSh8RUfci
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1WqzVnvQAf
我：噢，原來我一路以嚟攪錯咗豬扒呢個term嘅用法。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU9J0BpGOME
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs3xHCRBxKR
沒辦法下，我只好裝傻混過去。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrcj50wsMwN
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSMY13sBHL9
本以為如此便蒙混過關，於是我們又如常地相處下去。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4mYXjRcQCk
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIKX8mKqLlz
接著幾天後，我又約了一個攝影師在派對房裡拍攝泳裝照片；但是照片要修圖，要等待一陣日子才有。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAzxsie0zfB
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ0jUooiYys
這晚我又跟Annie聊到半夜三更。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVeWsiXjWrK
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2U0nMajfWe
Annie：你去影泳衣咁有冇相？526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4GjrezbwR1
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡguD3FFgPfR
我如實地交代暫未有相片，只有一張我當場的自拍照，是上身照，相中的我看起來與一個穿三點式的女人無異。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzUl78WqdXD
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1vm78cxmod
艷濃的妝容、長長的啡捲髮、以及黑色三點式泳裝，露出大面積白皙的肌膚，正正是我當時的打扮。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHj6Fu9hqpw
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4zOtch5PdC
Annie：慘囉慘囉，連你都咁靚。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX6f88zQes1
Annie：我一見到有排骨精就有種想保護佢嘅感覺526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQH09aHlO3x
Annie：驚佢俾風吹走526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyxKPX4s6eG
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMbxsbQk9tn
我：你講緊邊個排骨呀？（笑喊526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJImxkdW3sZ
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyWAGZMJ2fR
Annie：我好唔中意啲男仔自大526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9YG3K7g5OE
Annie：見過有啲男仔喺網上露佢自己上身526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCIZUqVFpOl
Annie：佢以為自己有六舊，有好大條J526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5lU0paTYYb
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4tmww2hAW6
我：俾著係我直情同人講：我冇J㗎（笑喊526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk3BBje9tVF
我：冇六舊肌同大J，咁咪做返女人囉（笑喊526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH20XA9Ci1j
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNui7zwYIWA
我不像一般的某些直男，在網上放出袒露上身的大漢照。不穿衣服，我都會，只是我不會這樣表達而已。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ms3V3u47C
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtcIn7KSTUE
事實上，我的確在Tinder放過一張三點式泳裝照，還有假髮和妝容；並不是因為我對自己男性特徵（例如6腹肌）沒自信，而純粹是因為我喜歡美麗的自己。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqPaDbhw4sz
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT3eudtmsMu
以火影忍者的語言說，大多數男人都是使用鳴人的「逆後宮術」，而我則只是在用「後宮術」，一個「逆」字只是男版和女版的分別。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzT4jGKj5s5
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT7DKQZDZM0
Annie：半夜三更瞓唔著，突然性起，傾吓性？526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpuVE1P61V8
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv5znvtDyto
我：你做乜咁突然想講18禁呀？M到？（笑喊526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ02JFel6jI3
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiPHZ4geHa0
Annie：係呀，你又知？（笑喊526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHFm4JlplbM
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLE3ijOAf9m
我：我憑直覺亂估咋526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOOvUtZX4HK
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSEY2MnATB6
Annie：好奇想知你唔打飛機㗎咩？526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYBrLZ5pskU
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6NP1CAeM1t
我思索了一會，然後回覆。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf6wRUO28mf
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZBSvPGQ8Rv
我：打呀，但我嘅性幻想唔係男女扑嘢咁簡單。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxbmBHcWcN6
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1nGu4tI26e
我的性癖，是戀物。事實上對於女性的胸、陰道，不是主要的興趣；因此如果有大胸妹子在我面前引誘我，是沒有用的；唯一能刺中我「死穴」的只有女裝。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJcWRi2482W
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs9Jy0QQoLo
Annie：我屋企都有兩件sex toy526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡARtRsJS2hC
Annie：我試過自己裝上假J然後插落第二條女度526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3C8JsMHvgq
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfFqc5U8y6q
我：你本身都係bi？526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw474K8Veku
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgCDVrPaLm
Annie：唔係嘅，只係貪屌女仔好玩（大笑526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwIOM4oLQJD
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZl248dBtD
我：話說今日我去私影時都就嚟出水526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1JsCx0MGUS
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUnCxzj6PvY
Annie：你都冇閪，點出水？526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3WImf1MA4H
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ69uQqZTgtF
我：人工閪😏526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSI2Z1MKA3m
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVw1GCWTyv2
Annie：😳😳526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnyF8JzNxa4
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh4QlBa7Bkg
我：你嚟上我啦（笑喊526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ131kPovZx0
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwhIlxYxFO5
今晚看似她已經把我說的「豬扒」拋諸腦後；另一方面，我們已經聊了1.5個月，我三番四次約會她，她都不出來，漸漸地我也被磨去了耐性和動力。我開始有點迷惘，下次應該如何提出約會，還是只保持網上關係就罷了？
Penana
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