在TG上，大家互相交換照片，今年的動漫節我只去了兩天。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡASYaQX6gOV
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5hJi53ZGNm
Annie看完我cosplay男角和女角的照片，她看到其中一張我cosplay著女角跟一另一名女coser的合照，便回應：603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoZzDih8GHZ
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhAYryR7lAD
Annie：你隔離嗰條女好靚，你啲frd嚟？603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlIlTyZ0Suf
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnQfKjaRuwo
我：梗係唔係啦，啱啱先識嘅（笑喊603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG834kBNcCc
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz95dcU6qRn
接著Annie也給她的化妝照我看，又交流著化妝心得。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbJZHf0h9pS
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfCxzCa9k22
論「擠牙膏式」聊天戰術，對我來講cosplay、化妝、寫網絡小說，這三大話題是最長壽命的話題，能用來談很長、很長的時間。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ18k4Dlw5w7
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyIGnNMHk3D
總之，我最終目的就是要把她約出來見面！603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM8DWiExc3L
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRwjcwSqU0s
每次我以cosplay裝扮出席這類活動時，都必定認識到新朋友，男女都有，也是同樣cosplay的人，然後他們都會跟我交換IG。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ76n7m8IzG1
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6HaE6C9jhS
在我的IG裡，粉絲頗多，主要有兩類：一是從cosplay圈認識的人，二是我從網上寫小說而招來的讀者粉絲和其他作者。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Y2pTXKbx1
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG4OWUtUjWS
每逢我發佈小說的宣傳文，只有十幾個讚好，但當我發佈cosplay照時，不論是男裝還是女裝，總會引來多3倍的讚好，真是人靠衣裝。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9XUAOSfvF2
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpkrKVLV8fn
因此有人會覺得我的朋友圈子大，但其實這只不過是假象；因為我都很少與人會面，平日頂多都是跟我唯一好友Jason見面或獨自一人到cafe消閑。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxalFPEL2fG
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzLOKNnnrRH
Annie：你個樣本身可以好女仔，出街實冇人知你係偽娘。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkBpnN5q2Q5
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqrXKvM9QiW
我：但冇計啦我太高喇，實出賣男兒身㗎（笑喊603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIver3lBX7P
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqD0OrAt3GN
Annie：其實我好憎啲男仔睇樣603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQCEwSYzPn5
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZzYTujesM
我：做咩突然間講呢啲嘅？603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJkUndGJ1q
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjbGpPNNWt1
Annie：以前試過交換完相之後，條仔嫌我肥，就即block我603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRS4ehWHeRN
Annie：我真係好自卑603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNdWvWIfOSZ
Annie：啲人成日都同我講，話我個樣唔差，叫我扮下靚就有603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkljNJOO1A7
Annie：佢哋口口聲話唔介意肥閪，但係行動上就好誠實咁話我知，佢哋跟本介意。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrgDGr1glUZ
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwAZbLFNH7g
其實我也很清楚知道，這個世上沒有絕對的零歧視。很多時候人只是出於禮貌，而在表面的社交應酬上，包裝自己的說話，但心裡仍然保留真正的自己。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxpDCyJDNuN
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnHBkwU7dgp
所以我的世界觀是：適者生存，與其努力去改變世界，倒不如學習保護自己。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpliKLMMG8d
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡetDCLEk8sc
偽娘也會被歧視嗎？當然有，只是我比較幸運，身邊的人大致上都是禮貌跟我相處；或可能有人心底裡不喜歡，但我相信既然有人不喜歡，那麼總有人喜歡，每個人總會找到自己的一套生存之道，多訓練自己的敏感度，便可容易地觀察人心，從而使自己作更好的決定。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1IEMiK0CMm
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1jGhz9HDqG
所以在前面說到創建Tinder帳號時，我都說，即管大膽表明自己是偽娘身份，當有人被我吸引進來之後，再慢慢過濾誰是真正交友。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvdmGAo4PnF
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQh0tKtgnhc
或許有人問：你這樣不辛苦嗎？不做偽娘就好了。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg7wnlnlFwo
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdZ6THQMOlu
我會反駁：食得鹹魚抵得渴，為心靈滿足而選擇紋身的人，會害怕生活上的阻礙而放棄嗎？603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJxUKYcuIWX
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ2csD51qND
我們又繼續聊，然後我嘗試開玩笑地拋出一句。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfFMUd8EJaR
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVYqcWP3Wvt
我：我好想食豬扒飯。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡII62pHcW7g
我：不過我想食你件豬多啲（笑喊603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb6d9ITBKPr
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZxcp2eEYsi
Annie：我唔係豬扒！！603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡweMkrNb732
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFECkqix6t8
糟糕了，我講錯說話，焦慮的我想嘗試修復。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz2h3ZdjebD
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6MHQDf4afv
我：豬扒都有豬扒嘅好（笑喊603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqRjnwGplsZ
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7CK4bejr2i
Annie：可以啪啪聲嘛（大笑603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH9yZegEoYg
Annie：同埋，我呢啲高嘅係叫坦克車唔係豬扒603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJK8dwkOMst
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0wSpL7Q7il
最原始的對話版本我已經忘記了，也刪了；總之大概記得，我以「豬扒」這個詞語來開玩笑，說過幾句；但是勾起了Annie的怒火，而我又嘗試熄滅。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjbdhVMCgGe
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPknkjPZNk2
我：噢，原來我一路以嚟攪錯咗豬扒呢個term嘅用法。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3e4rDwYjwA
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb4gVr2eCoC
沒辦法下，我只好裝傻混過去。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXuT5jrmSty
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8un4mfIFD
本以為如此便蒙混過關，於是我們又如常地相處下去。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAk1OwKVYCT
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs9L8BHkMyK
接著幾天後，我又約了一個攝影師在派對房裡拍攝泳裝照片；但是照片要修圖，要等待一陣日子才有。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnDahB4VcPz
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsXF9sZmi7T
這晚我又跟Annie聊到半夜三更。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlpFVegQQdi
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyAaOKPjABv
Annie：你去影泳衣咁有冇相？603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQFrOmxCWvp
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWq1vVzex9h
我如實地交代暫未有相片，只有一張我當場的自拍照，是上身照，相中的我看起來與一個穿三點式的女人無異。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDzRPpDkrLF
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoPbiruS0YG
艷濃的妝容、長長的啡捲髮、以及黑色三點式泳裝，露出大面積白皙的肌膚，正正是我當時的打扮。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBewujE0xQk
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡENLXcXQ4n7
Annie：慘囉慘囉，連你都咁靚。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRt69m6Oibi
Annie：我一見到有排骨精就有種想保護佢嘅感覺603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYJuDCY9qpP
Annie：驚佢俾風吹走603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY3iAzetms6
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo0yziwb0L4
我：你講緊邊個排骨呀？（笑喊603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2vE3zYRVm3
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmNOphXD9Ug
Annie：我好唔中意啲男仔自大603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV9DK37mNAO
Annie：見過有啲男仔喺網上露佢自己上身603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnDhzlVed6o
Annie：佢以為自己有六舊，有好大條J603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyezgE8i9ia
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSkkAkKgljP
我：俾著係我直情同人講：我冇J㗎（笑喊603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDn2Tm3qjgs
我：冇六舊肌同大J，咁咪做返女人囉（笑喊603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg8iXoJ6v3G
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1CxMrk0Ji6
我不像一般的某些直男，在網上放出袒露上身的大漢照。不穿衣服，我都會，只是我不會這樣表達而已。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT3JSzlfw13
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw84XY9mFeG
事實上，我的確在Tinder放過一張三點式泳裝照，還有假髮和妝容；並不是因為我對自己男性特徵（例如6腹肌）沒自信，而純粹是因為我喜歡美麗的自己。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdkiN0QyzM6
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK2meKEz25X
以火影忍者的語言說，大多數男人都是使用鳴人的「逆後宮術」，而我則只是在用「後宮術」，一個「逆」字只是男版和女版的分別。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzhd8iiVgQ2
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMqrRH4vAOZ
Annie：半夜三更瞓唔著，突然性起，傾吓性？603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7nBJx8NqYo
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59wCur1dS1
我：你做乜咁突然想講18禁呀？M到？（笑喊603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMcMCLVqFsr
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8b5NuT4rwE
Annie：係呀，你又知？（笑喊603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmc6vARusP5
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLcpddOmNhQ
我：我憑直覺亂估咋603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb6Z1EmPfqS
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6HzyPmM0eP
Annie：好奇想知你唔打飛機㗎咩？603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQnC8LicBk
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNFUL7al1jn
我思索了一會，然後回覆。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpr3EppCCPv
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZWNcSJGaFr
我：打呀，但我嘅性幻想唔係男女扑嘢咁簡單。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlmVLekpiiF
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1vh24Pou4K
我的性癖，是戀物。事實上對於女性的胸、陰道，不是主要的興趣；因此如果有大胸妹子在我面前引誘我，是沒有用的；唯一能刺中我「死穴」的只有女裝。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf3H99WTYLw
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPcZBZBbEcy
Annie：我屋企都有兩件sex toy603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMFwWqRF21l
Annie：我試過自己裝上假J然後插落第二條女度603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡveREhU1J60
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpybKUUzT56
我：你本身都係bi？603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWLpfFmo0ie
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyYQIwXFbku
Annie：唔係嘅，只係貪屌女仔好玩（大笑603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRDp4aUTSWL
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRvP9YM2OGs
我：話說今日我去私影時都就嚟出水603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKjYlfEBx1L
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrukcivlBIm
Annie：你都冇閪，點出水？603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfTvekCID5r
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ISQcQVlo0
我：人工閪😏603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSLws58ZKsD
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7RJa8tE3tA
Annie：😳😳603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyA0Tkfvhex
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJR60F2FjW6
我：你嚟上我啦（笑喊603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq88Hzwbc1Y
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDjr0C1y39x
今晚看似她已經把我說的「豬扒」拋諸腦後；另一方面，我們已經聊了1.5個月，我三番四次約會她，她都不出來，漸漸地我也被磨去了耐性和動力。我開始有點迷惘，下次應該如何提出約會，還是只保持網上關係就罷了？
Penana
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