在TG上，大家互相交換照片，今年的動漫節我只去了兩天。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvL9OHvRVHJ
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡePmmSPpN3l
Annie看完我cosplay男角和女角的照片，她看到其中一張我cosplay著女角跟一另一名女coser的合照，便回應：580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdoSzf2SW1A
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoRg3Hnken4
Annie：你隔離嗰條女好靚，你啲frd嚟？580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc35HNruYFB
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9XiOsTQ73j
我：梗係唔係啦，啱啱先識嘅（笑喊580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmW9ABawDOA
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrc7MigCO6l
接著Annie也給她的化妝照我看，又交流著化妝心得。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3mcpDs0VOt
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwBa8MmvXEx
論「擠牙膏式」聊天戰術，對我來講cosplay、化妝、寫網絡小說，這三大話題是最長壽命的話題，能用來談很長、很長的時間。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjXoQ3Mx2t
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaz2F42Eh2r
總之，我最終目的就是要把她約出來見面！580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvzbSxMEVxU
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV6phOm4sMJ
每次我以cosplay裝扮出席這類活動時，都必定認識到新朋友，男女都有，也是同樣cosplay的人，然後他們都會跟我交換IG。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcVfxPhggh3
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPCNo5KKrjX
在我的IG裡，粉絲頗多，主要有兩類：一是從cosplay圈認識的人，二是我從網上寫小說而招來的讀者粉絲和其他作者。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1pDEBds5yE
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡexm1Jy4zFh
每逢我發佈小說的宣傳文，只有十幾個讚好，但當我發佈cosplay照時，不論是男裝還是女裝，總會引來多3倍的讚好，真是人靠衣裝。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQC43uwTPvm
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYKty8fDNVh
因此有人會覺得我的朋友圈子大，但其實這只不過是假象；因為我都很少與人會面，平日頂多都是跟我唯一好友Jason見面或獨自一人到cafe消閑。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDXQcTG6x2z
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSg0MqV2KIK
Annie：你個樣本身可以好女仔，出街實冇人知你係偽娘。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpi831aDTSW
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7hcerRrWof
我：但冇計啦我太高喇，實出賣男兒身㗎（笑喊580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoZiCqFqH9R
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKdZ4xksF8z
Annie：其實我好憎啲男仔睇樣580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiW8yHYEYkU
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkCbxbdPcgv
我：做咩突然間講呢啲嘅？580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy0w9lFfHd4
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQwAxRf9dzF
Annie：以前試過交換完相之後，條仔嫌我肥，就即block我580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡodFTSD5l1x
Annie：我真係好自卑580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcyabjRjgkj
Annie：啲人成日都同我講，話我個樣唔差，叫我扮下靚就有580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2D4DCfWFwP
Annie：佢哋口口聲話唔介意肥閪，但係行動上就好誠實咁話我知，佢哋跟本介意。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9rHVMllYlQ
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC2wnyK6LW7
其實我也很清楚知道，這個世上沒有絕對的零歧視。很多時候人只是出於禮貌，而在表面的社交應酬上，包裝自己的說話，但心裡仍然保留真正的自己。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo9aOlM7k3u
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW6JuwWAtrO
所以我的世界觀是：適者生存，與其努力去改變世界，倒不如學習保護自己。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEMOqUCIQN
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbDn8exQOAT
偽娘也會被歧視嗎？當然有，只是我比較幸運，身邊的人大致上都是禮貌跟我相處；或可能有人心底裡不喜歡，但我相信既然有人不喜歡，那麼總有人喜歡，每個人總會找到自己的一套生存之道，多訓練自己的敏感度，便可容易地觀察人心，從而使自己作更好的決定。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFsgM3kdbOr
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh97MLO8o6e
所以在前面說到創建Tinder帳號時，我都說，即管大膽表明自己是偽娘身份，當有人被我吸引進來之後，再慢慢過濾誰是真正交友。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzhLkhw4Arc
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfIOEx8gBn1
或許有人問：你這樣不辛苦嗎？不做偽娘就好了。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ASd0p5XbC
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEMnN0zFiIK
我會反駁：食得鹹魚抵得渴，為心靈滿足而選擇紋身的人，會害怕生活上的阻礙而放棄嗎？580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbUMJ7zprxZ
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqa3aPb4e0b
我們又繼續聊，然後我嘗試開玩笑地拋出一句。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44bxoIfAmO
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ61YqXZvqc0
我：我好想食豬扒飯。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5lh2YObFKe
我：不過我想食你件豬多啲（笑喊580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPKzl0XJM8A
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYYV7ngLnl6
Annie：我唔係豬扒！！580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLXeuzsM4Vy
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRo6wkBgQCC
糟糕了，我講錯說話，焦慮的我想嘗試修復。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYCso4yXYhW
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu9w3pRnGSE
我：豬扒都有豬扒嘅好（笑喊580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrSxHfT5G3G
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ23pghCZNo9
Annie：可以啪啪聲嘛（大笑580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzyukUhR6Ba
Annie：同埋，我呢啲高嘅係叫坦克車唔係豬扒580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr0HT1lKpM4
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWOQsNR4szy
最原始的對話版本我已經忘記了，也刪了；總之大概記得，我以「豬扒」這個詞語來開玩笑，說過幾句；但是勾起了Annie的怒火，而我又嘗試熄滅。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt2edb1bYMi
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGULSCW0VJZ
我：噢，原來我一路以嚟攪錯咗豬扒呢個term嘅用法。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWwu7zJZeLj
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhxCLv4Tzj8
沒辦法下，我只好裝傻混過去。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN5CQCsygPo
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnAGMADuA9m
本以為如此便蒙混過關，於是我們又如常地相處下去。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTaseyVXY25
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡglf7d0eUhN
接著幾天後，我又約了一個攝影師在派對房裡拍攝泳裝照片；但是照片要修圖，要等待一陣日子才有。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡirz6b84zS4
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbm6HNWkVuD
這晚我又跟Annie聊到半夜三更。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBTRK9bGrWM
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpd65SZ8czw
Annie：你去影泳衣咁有冇相？580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg4Q7GMpF8F
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu9keD6m7r5
我如實地交代暫未有相片，只有一張我當場的自拍照，是上身照，相中的我看起來與一個穿三點式的女人無異。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡes9uAu7cvo
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyR9hl4yjYV
艷濃的妝容、長長的啡捲髮、以及黑色三點式泳裝，露出大面積白皙的肌膚，正正是我當時的打扮。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb3rUmBIXRE
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ57X3ptJWNv
Annie：慘囉慘囉，連你都咁靚。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZWWS3MF7IK
Annie：我一見到有排骨精就有種想保護佢嘅感覺580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPpYlvOnFjK
Annie：驚佢俾風吹走580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhoPunYHkRt
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGVLZ7JtR1Q
我：你講緊邊個排骨呀？（笑喊580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48MiUXoODQ
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuWz31qkUZn
Annie：我好唔中意啲男仔自大580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpLVWMhGBR9
Annie：見過有啲男仔喺網上露佢自己上身580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzUsmRfMl9P
Annie：佢以為自己有六舊，有好大條J580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKBBpr16kmO
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7axkcf8rKt
我：俾著係我直情同人講：我冇J㗎（笑喊580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡarYyDCMIz7
我：冇六舊肌同大J，咁咪做返女人囉（笑喊580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBz3qO0DHvu
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6YDftHBjA6
我不像一般的某些直男，在網上放出袒露上身的大漢照。不穿衣服，我都會，只是我不會這樣表達而已。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgrrS5rdneL
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDv8Lar9Af7
事實上，我的確在Tinder放過一張三點式泳裝照，還有假髮和妝容；並不是因為我對自己男性特徵（例如6腹肌）沒自信，而純粹是因為我喜歡美麗的自己。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdAeCnnW14M
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnUtSIA1Txk
以火影忍者的語言說，大多數男人都是使用鳴人的「逆後宮術」，而我則只是在用「後宮術」，一個「逆」字只是男版和女版的分別。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfF6blyEdM7
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnBB8T1ZsbL
Annie：半夜三更瞓唔著，突然性起，傾吓性？580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4RAKs5gIba
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2cd7idxse5
我：你做乜咁突然想講18禁呀？M到？（笑喊580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB5WvaCil7D
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2VrKx9o9aT
Annie：係呀，你又知？（笑喊580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv5cUIVx2AS
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTDoF0I9sU8
我：我憑直覺亂估咋580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfyKJXuoxoF
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkoJnwghcxA
Annie：好奇想知你唔打飛機㗎咩？580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPuCHFBQUtj
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrl3wQjA1E2
我思索了一會，然後回覆。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSjmh5DQ2dY
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQau3pndqv
我：打呀，但我嘅性幻想唔係男女扑嘢咁簡單。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1h1AwodGeZ
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsn4FDnGfxH
我的性癖，是戀物。事實上對於女性的胸、陰道，不是主要的興趣；因此如果有大胸妹子在我面前引誘我，是沒有用的；唯一能刺中我「死穴」的只有女裝。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4UXFP41ACm
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKfnLgzugU3
Annie：我屋企都有兩件sex toy580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwASwx7Og1N
Annie：我試過自己裝上假J然後插落第二條女度580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡasuLcp8MVR
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaxViPrMBt7
我：你本身都係bi？580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHxTeUwbEgs
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2DGXlbhGe2
Annie：唔係嘅，只係貪屌女仔好玩（大笑580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1AL2emk0Mg
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMc4Q0Q7xCe
我：話說今日我去私影時都就嚟出水580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMOwquvG76b
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzi7T6VWb1O
Annie：你都冇閪，點出水？580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNSanSuCgRO
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsvcbLMZ8ji
我：人工閪😏580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPnIr5aY9vf
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNx3FwKsP4A
Annie：😳😳580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzCYmSpwNr1
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPMjGv9NIR
我：你嚟上我啦（笑喊580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrmKphtUwwL
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHaYz0WrKgh
今晚看似她已經把我說的「豬扒」拋諸腦後；另一方面，我們已經聊了1.5個月，我三番四次約會她，她都不出來，漸漸地我也被磨去了耐性和動力。我開始有點迷惘，下次應該如何提出約會，還是只保持網上關係就罷了？
Penana
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