在TG上，大家互相交換照片，今年的動漫節我只去了兩天。528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdCDJLKovsD
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzeEplLlJ0l
Annie看完我cosplay男角和女角的照片，她看到其中一張我cosplay著女角跟一另一名女coser的合照，便回應：528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNYTGxp8YY2
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWuz7StC6DK
Annie：你隔離嗰條女好靚，你啲frd嚟？528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡACa8PO9Ik1
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlIyyS8GzST
我：梗係唔係啦，啱啱先識嘅（笑喊528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLPyHzR0KMX
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMjtG3BufWO
接著Annie也給她的化妝照我看，又交流著化妝心得。528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCSUTsX4cTg
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhfs2OwpM8e
論「擠牙膏式」聊天戰術，對我來講cosplay、化妝、寫網絡小說，這三大話題是最長壽命的話題，能用來談很長、很長的時間。528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5P9eLlKv7o
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVbGTBTywEp
總之，我最終目的就是要把她約出來見面！528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrat5Sfg6UV
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8HTPHM30iR
每次我以cosplay裝扮出席這類活動時，都必定認識到新朋友，男女都有，也是同樣cosplay的人，然後他們都會跟我交換IG。528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNaDuylFesy
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHRUU3FzqeX
在我的IG裡，粉絲頗多，主要有兩類：一是從cosplay圈認識的人，二是我從網上寫小說而招來的讀者粉絲和其他作者。528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwLTyQakYSX
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdNUUW8DXov
每逢我發佈小說的宣傳文，只有十幾個讚好，但當我發佈cosplay照時，不論是男裝還是女裝，總會引來多3倍的讚好，真是人靠衣裝。528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWvBx8ZqrxI
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0vV8253Mh6
因此有人會覺得我的朋友圈子大，但其實這只不過是假象；因為我都很少與人會面，平日頂多都是跟我唯一好友Jason見面或獨自一人到cafe消閑。528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ53P8mTUbLD
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQnt75mS73r
Annie：你個樣本身可以好女仔，出街實冇人知你係偽娘。528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR7Tu1atfX0
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ33ZfMtXJyo
我：但冇計啦我太高喇，實出賣男兒身㗎（笑喊528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjI0AhiBJX8
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc5HtGG9jrb
Annie：其實我好憎啲男仔睇樣528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQlg6wwCIwA
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbaf4I6QL7b
我：做咩突然間講呢啲嘅？528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxWTW3AMWW4
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb0OUzRw1c7
Annie：以前試過交換完相之後，條仔嫌我肥，就即block我528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb8GKxUZYTi
Annie：我真係好自卑528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7iWSSgxFDf
Annie：啲人成日都同我講，話我個樣唔差，叫我扮下靚就有528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcq530xpCy5
Annie：佢哋口口聲話唔介意肥閪，但係行動上就好誠實咁話我知，佢哋跟本介意。528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl9cRe3rwEp
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvCd6jKlp6V
其實我也很清楚知道，這個世上沒有絕對的零歧視。很多時候人只是出於禮貌，而在表面的社交應酬上，包裝自己的說話，但心裡仍然保留真正的自己。528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvCUqAMoC9s
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZhg8aMo4wL
所以我的世界觀是：適者生存，與其努力去改變世界，倒不如學習保護自己。528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpIAzaHCqg5
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw31M3KaZvO
偽娘也會被歧視嗎？當然有，只是我比較幸運，身邊的人大致上都是禮貌跟我相處；或可能有人心底裡不喜歡，但我相信既然有人不喜歡，那麼總有人喜歡，每個人總會找到自己的一套生存之道，多訓練自己的敏感度，便可容易地觀察人心，從而使自己作更好的決定。528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡklYsi9r0Wk
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8lZM8ecJVJ
所以在前面說到創建Tinder帳號時，我都說，即管大膽表明自己是偽娘身份，當有人被我吸引進來之後，再慢慢過濾誰是真正交友。528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPINnShK1ry
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe4R7uwcP4V
或許有人問：你這樣不辛苦嗎？不做偽娘就好了。528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu7XGTWGSet
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO6nKB9kpI9
我會反駁：食得鹹魚抵得渴，為心靈滿足而選擇紋身的人，會害怕生活上的阻礙而放棄嗎？528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDfpaLLIVXk
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMpTSdMGUSi
我們又繼續聊，然後我嘗試開玩笑地拋出一句。528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuFqppbPtgv
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRfxRLwV9bk
我：我好想食豬扒飯。528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4b3BbinyMh
我：不過我想食你件豬多啲（笑喊528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrZpdv2ZUpp
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN8NyICmtke
Annie：我唔係豬扒！！528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN6rAlJzXJs
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2MKQYe8SkR
糟糕了，我講錯說話，焦慮的我想嘗試修復。528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCcywKDHIf2
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlaLqJGKrrX
我：豬扒都有豬扒嘅好（笑喊528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWkweM1MzXr
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwyXYpnRSz2
Annie：可以啪啪聲嘛（大笑528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXi5VzmID9x
Annie：同埋，我呢啲高嘅係叫坦克車唔係豬扒528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkZztNAmORZ
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3bxaBUrccg
最原始的對話版本我已經忘記了，也刪了；總之大概記得，我以「豬扒」這個詞語來開玩笑，說過幾句；但是勾起了Annie的怒火，而我又嘗試熄滅。528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV09jXbKYOc
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKQ0vb1f8gc
我：噢，原來我一路以嚟攪錯咗豬扒呢個term嘅用法。528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMiZgoconwn
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE4MBGvoyKI
沒辦法下，我只好裝傻混過去。528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK7vNvZlVKf
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOq9Ml8bg82
本以為如此便蒙混過關，於是我們又如常地相處下去。528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlolSRPXoEZ
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5wL5jud8p0
接著幾天後，我又約了一個攝影師在派對房裡拍攝泳裝照片；但是照片要修圖，要等待一陣日子才有。528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIWTvSFsf2i
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxNVWi6lTTB
這晚我又跟Annie聊到半夜三更。528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡADYXjF9Nbv
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ88sScr9V9m
Annie：你去影泳衣咁有冇相？528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKc175WYFTK
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEUk76aAg72
我如實地交代暫未有相片，只有一張我當場的自拍照，是上身照，相中的我看起來與一個穿三點式的女人無異。528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvSNOLsvnVb
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf1jpnG4uyK
艷濃的妝容、長長的啡捲髮、以及黑色三點式泳裝，露出大面積白皙的肌膚，正正是我當時的打扮。528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKWtDXPD871
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJxLDthlbwm
Annie：慘囉慘囉，連你都咁靚。528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡliWVu6s1IN
Annie：我一見到有排骨精就有種想保護佢嘅感覺528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBho9AqQGao
Annie：驚佢俾風吹走528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCJrhQJHHas
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFYVeXMXgeK
我：你講緊邊個排骨呀？（笑喊528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0nzYneKhVA
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS1iHtArw4d
Annie：我好唔中意啲男仔自大528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXizoUcI58A
Annie：見過有啲男仔喺網上露佢自己上身528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpaJ1SzuARt
Annie：佢以為自己有六舊，有好大條J528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMlcofjEDNF
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwZ3lCqLMVP
我：俾著係我直情同人講：我冇J㗎（笑喊528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnhvHBt6lyF
我：冇六舊肌同大J，咁咪做返女人囉（笑喊528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTc0XwiUlhr
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZKga6a0A02
我不像一般的某些直男，在網上放出袒露上身的大漢照。不穿衣服，我都會，只是我不會這樣表達而已。528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ85DgQQIbJF
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡitLHbGN1NG
事實上，我的確在Tinder放過一張三點式泳裝照，還有假髮和妝容；並不是因為我對自己男性特徵（例如6腹肌）沒自信，而純粹是因為我喜歡美麗的自己。528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqgOBmS65Vs
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBLoolyQdh1
以火影忍者的語言說，大多數男人都是使用鳴人的「逆後宮術」，而我則只是在用「後宮術」，一個「逆」字只是男版和女版的分別。528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2c6xBmYB5z
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAiNdLaQzkI
Annie：半夜三更瞓唔著，突然性起，傾吓性？528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuE30Iu91du
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMdXb8z5xx1
我：你做乜咁突然想講18禁呀？M到？（笑喊528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4v1njnJ8JZ
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8KvdmYtquj
Annie：係呀，你又知？（笑喊528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8108JN820Z
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkOK5eWXIrE
我：我憑直覺亂估咋528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmSWisLoWkz
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKuwSFsjwn5
Annie：好奇想知你唔打飛機㗎咩？528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC6fBWNlu2L
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdqnXoDFbB5
我思索了一會，然後回覆。528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKvCnPkDjbh
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiweJ9FdKJk
我：打呀，但我嘅性幻想唔係男女扑嘢咁簡單。528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCwPsWFzke9
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ScH7UbFiA
我的性癖，是戀物。事實上對於女性的胸、陰道，不是主要的興趣；因此如果有大胸妹子在我面前引誘我，是沒有用的；唯一能刺中我「死穴」的只有女裝。528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb7WH2ioerf
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtiBnXeFfap
Annie：我屋企都有兩件sex toy528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsgFGKyvJ2O
Annie：我試過自己裝上假J然後插落第二條女度528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQzwVlH5rgC
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Kpi95U3Y6
我：你本身都係bi？528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAz6sg0MMix
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnrHKvjAzFg
Annie：唔係嘅，只係貪屌女仔好玩（大笑528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0GTqAKJoyd
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuqmwx7BLgY
我：話說今日我去私影時都就嚟出水528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjCz3p798Ro
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl0lskCYz3Q
Annie：你都冇閪，點出水？528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIXplVo9nfs
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaSsM796b2L
我：人工閪😏528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVfh8Wui1pp
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5q0B842Vvm
Annie：😳😳528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7zhRA85HBe
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKbf34B87xk
我：你嚟上我啦（笑喊528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbwsIafmHf1
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡODkBAprjF9
今晚看似她已經把我說的「豬扒」拋諸腦後；另一方面，我們已經聊了1.5個月，我三番四次約會她，她都不出來，漸漸地我也被磨去了耐性和動力。我開始有點迷惘，下次應該如何提出約會，還是只保持網上關係就罷了？
Penana
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