在TG上,大家互相交換照片,今年的動漫節我只去了兩天。528Please respect copyright.PENANAdCDJLKovsD
528Please respect copyright.PENANAzeEplLlJ0l
Annie看完我cosplay男角和女角的照片,她看到其中一張我cosplay著女角跟一另一名女coser的合照,便回應:528Please respect copyright.PENANANYTGxp8YY2
528Please respect copyright.PENANAWuz7StC6DK
Annie:你隔離嗰條女好靚,你啲frd嚟?528Please respect copyright.PENANAACa8PO9Ik1
528Please respect copyright.PENANAlIyyS8GzST
我:梗係唔係啦,啱啱先識嘅(笑喊528Please respect copyright.PENANALPyHzR0KMX
528Please respect copyright.PENANAMjtG3BufWO
接著Annie也給她的化妝照我看,又交流著化妝心得。528Please respect copyright.PENANACSUTsX4cTg
528Please respect copyright.PENANAhfs2OwpM8e
論「擠牙膏式」聊天戰術,對我來講cosplay、化妝、寫網絡小說,這三大話題是最長壽命的話題,能用來談很長、很長的時間。528Please respect copyright.PENANA5P9eLlKv7o
528Please respect copyright.PENANAVbGTBTywEp
總之,我最終目的就是要把她約出來見面!528Please respect copyright.PENANArat5Sfg6UV
528Please respect copyright.PENANA8HTPHM30iR
每次我以cosplay裝扮出席這類活動時,都必定認識到新朋友,男女都有,也是同樣cosplay的人,然後他們都會跟我交換IG。528Please respect copyright.PENANANaDuylFesy
528Please respect copyright.PENANAHRUU3FzqeX
在我的IG裡,粉絲頗多,主要有兩類:一是從cosplay圈認識的人,二是我從網上寫小說而招來的讀者粉絲和其他作者。528Please respect copyright.PENANAwLTyQakYSX
528Please respect copyright.PENANAdNUUW8DXov
每逢我發佈小說的宣傳文,只有十幾個讚好,但當我發佈cosplay照時,不論是男裝還是女裝,總會引來多3倍的讚好,真是人靠衣裝。528Please respect copyright.PENANAWvBx8ZqrxI
528Please respect copyright.PENANA0vV8253Mh6
因此有人會覺得我的朋友圈子大,但其實這只不過是假象;因為我都很少與人會面,平日頂多都是跟我唯一好友Jason見面或獨自一人到cafe消閑。528Please respect copyright.PENANA53P8mTUbLD
528Please respect copyright.PENANAQnt75mS73r
Annie:你個樣本身可以好女仔,出街實冇人知你係偽娘。528Please respect copyright.PENANAR7Tu1atfX0
528Please respect copyright.PENANA33ZfMtXJyo
我:但冇計啦我太高喇,實出賣男兒身㗎(笑喊528Please respect copyright.PENANAjI0AhiBJX8
528Please respect copyright.PENANAc5HtGG9jrb
Annie:其實我好憎啲男仔睇樣528Please respect copyright.PENANAQlg6wwCIwA
528Please respect copyright.PENANAbaf4I6QL7b
我:做咩突然間講呢啲嘅?528Please respect copyright.PENANAxWTW3AMWW4
528Please respect copyright.PENANAb0OUzRw1c7
Annie:以前試過交換完相之後,條仔嫌我肥,就即block我528Please respect copyright.PENANAb8GKxUZYTi
Annie:我真係好自卑528Please respect copyright.PENANA7iWSSgxFDf
Annie:啲人成日都同我講,話我個樣唔差,叫我扮下靚就有528Please respect copyright.PENANAcq530xpCy5
Annie:佢哋口口聲話唔介意肥閪,但係行動上就好誠實咁話我知,佢哋跟本介意。528Please respect copyright.PENANAl9cRe3rwEp
528Please respect copyright.PENANAvCd6jKlp6V
其實我也很清楚知道,這個世上沒有絕對的零歧視。很多時候人只是出於禮貌,而在表面的社交應酬上,包裝自己的說話,但心裡仍然保留真正的自己。528Please respect copyright.PENANAvCUqAMoC9s
528Please respect copyright.PENANAZhg8aMo4wL
所以我的世界觀是:適者生存,與其努力去改變世界,倒不如學習保護自己。528Please respect copyright.PENANApIAzaHCqg5
528Please respect copyright.PENANAw31M3KaZvO
偽娘也會被歧視嗎?當然有,只是我比較幸運,身邊的人大致上都是禮貌跟我相處;或可能有人心底裡不喜歡,但我相信既然有人不喜歡,那麼總有人喜歡,每個人總會找到自己的一套生存之道,多訓練自己的敏感度,便可容易地觀察人心,從而使自己作更好的決定。528Please respect copyright.PENANAklYsi9r0Wk
528Please respect copyright.PENANA8lZM8ecJVJ
所以在前面說到創建Tinder帳號時,我都說,即管大膽表明自己是偽娘身份,當有人被我吸引進來之後,再慢慢過濾誰是真正交友。528Please respect copyright.PENANAPINnShK1ry
528Please respect copyright.PENANAe4R7uwcP4V
或許有人問:你這樣不辛苦嗎?不做偽娘就好了。528Please respect copyright.PENANAu7XGTWGSet
528Please respect copyright.PENANAO6nKB9kpI9
我會反駁:食得鹹魚抵得渴,為心靈滿足而選擇紋身的人,會害怕生活上的阻礙而放棄嗎?528Please respect copyright.PENANADfpaLLIVXk
528Please respect copyright.PENANAMpTSdMGUSi
我們又繼續聊,然後我嘗試開玩笑地拋出一句。528Please respect copyright.PENANAuFqppbPtgv
528Please respect copyright.PENANARfxRLwV9bk
我:我好想食豬扒飯。528Please respect copyright.PENANA4b3BbinyMh
我:不過我想食你件豬多啲(笑喊528Please respect copyright.PENANArZpdv2ZUpp
528Please respect copyright.PENANAN8NyICmtke
Annie:我唔係豬扒!!528Please respect copyright.PENANAN6rAlJzXJs
528Please respect copyright.PENANA2MKQYe8SkR
糟糕了,我講錯說話,焦慮的我想嘗試修復。528Please respect copyright.PENANACcywKDHIf2
528Please respect copyright.PENANAlaLqJGKrrX
我:豬扒都有豬扒嘅好(笑喊528Please respect copyright.PENANAWkweM1MzXr
528Please respect copyright.PENANAwyXYpnRSz2
Annie:可以啪啪聲嘛(大笑528Please respect copyright.PENANAXi5VzmID9x
Annie:同埋,我呢啲高嘅係叫坦克車唔係豬扒528Please respect copyright.PENANAkZztNAmORZ
528Please respect copyright.PENANA3bxaBUrccg
最原始的對話版本我已經忘記了,也刪了;總之大概記得,我以「豬扒」這個詞語來開玩笑,說過幾句;但是勾起了Annie的怒火,而我又嘗試熄滅。528Please respect copyright.PENANAV09jXbKYOc
528Please respect copyright.PENANAKQ0vb1f8gc
我:噢,原來我一路以嚟攪錯咗豬扒呢個term嘅用法。528Please respect copyright.PENANAMiZgoconwn
528Please respect copyright.PENANAE4MBGvoyKI
沒辦法下,我只好裝傻混過去。528Please respect copyright.PENANAK7vNvZlVKf
528Please respect copyright.PENANAOq9Ml8bg82
本以為如此便蒙混過關,於是我們又如常地相處下去。528Please respect copyright.PENANAlolSRPXoEZ
528Please respect copyright.PENANA5wL5jud8p0
接著幾天後,我又約了一個攝影師在派對房裡拍攝泳裝照片;但是照片要修圖,要等待一陣日子才有。528Please respect copyright.PENANAIWTvSFsf2i
528Please respect copyright.PENANAxNVWi6lTTB
這晚我又跟Annie聊到半夜三更。528Please respect copyright.PENANAADYXjF9Nbv
528Please respect copyright.PENANA88sScr9V9m
Annie:你去影泳衣咁有冇相?528Please respect copyright.PENANAKc175WYFTK
528Please respect copyright.PENANAEUk76aAg72
我如實地交代暫未有相片,只有一張我當場的自拍照,是上身照,相中的我看起來與一個穿三點式的女人無異。528Please respect copyright.PENANAvSNOLsvnVb
528Please respect copyright.PENANAf1jpnG4uyK
艷濃的妝容、長長的啡捲髮、以及黑色三點式泳裝,露出大面積白皙的肌膚,正正是我當時的打扮。528Please respect copyright.PENANAKWtDXPD871
528Please respect copyright.PENANAJxLDthlbwm
Annie:慘囉慘囉,連你都咁靚。528Please respect copyright.PENANAliWVu6s1IN
Annie:我一見到有排骨精就有種想保護佢嘅感覺528Please respect copyright.PENANABho9AqQGao
Annie:驚佢俾風吹走528Please respect copyright.PENANACJrhQJHHas
528Please respect copyright.PENANAFYVeXMXgeK
我:你講緊邊個排骨呀?(笑喊528Please respect copyright.PENANA0nzYneKhVA
528Please respect copyright.PENANAS1iHtArw4d
Annie:我好唔中意啲男仔自大528Please respect copyright.PENANAXizoUcI58A
Annie:見過有啲男仔喺網上露佢自己上身528Please respect copyright.PENANApaJ1SzuARt
Annie:佢以為自己有六舊,有好大條J528Please respect copyright.PENANAMlcofjEDNF
528Please respect copyright.PENANAwZ3lCqLMVP
我:俾著係我直情同人講:我冇J㗎(笑喊528Please respect copyright.PENANAnhvHBt6lyF
我:冇六舊肌同大J,咁咪做返女人囉(笑喊528Please respect copyright.PENANATc0XwiUlhr
528Please respect copyright.PENANAZKga6a0A02
我不像一般的某些直男,在網上放出袒露上身的大漢照。不穿衣服,我都會,只是我不會這樣表達而已。528Please respect copyright.PENANA85DgQQIbJF
528Please respect copyright.PENANAitLHbGN1NG
事實上,我的確在Tinder放過一張三點式泳裝照,還有假髮和妝容;並不是因為我對自己男性特徵(例如6腹肌)沒自信,而純粹是因為我喜歡美麗的自己。528Please respect copyright.PENANAqgOBmS65Vs
528Please respect copyright.PENANABLoolyQdh1
以火影忍者的語言說,大多數男人都是使用鳴人的「逆後宮術」,而我則只是在用「後宮術」,一個「逆」字只是男版和女版的分別。528Please respect copyright.PENANA2c6xBmYB5z
528Please respect copyright.PENANAAiNdLaQzkI
Annie:半夜三更瞓唔著,突然性起,傾吓性?528Please respect copyright.PENANAuE30Iu91du
528Please respect copyright.PENANAMdXb8z5xx1
我:你做乜咁突然想講18禁呀?M到?(笑喊528Please respect copyright.PENANA4v1njnJ8JZ
528Please respect copyright.PENANA8KvdmYtquj
Annie:係呀,你又知?(笑喊528Please respect copyright.PENANA8108JN820Z
528Please respect copyright.PENANAkOK5eWXIrE
我:我憑直覺亂估咋528Please respect copyright.PENANAmSWisLoWkz
528Please respect copyright.PENANAKuwSFsjwn5
Annie:好奇想知你唔打飛機㗎咩?528Please respect copyright.PENANAC6fBWNlu2L
528Please respect copyright.PENANAdqnXoDFbB5
我思索了一會,然後回覆。528Please respect copyright.PENANAKvCnPkDjbh
528Please respect copyright.PENANAiweJ9FdKJk
我:打呀,但我嘅性幻想唔係男女扑嘢咁簡單。528Please respect copyright.PENANACwPsWFzke9
528Please respect copyright.PENANA5ScH7UbFiA
我的性癖,是戀物。事實上對於女性的胸、陰道,不是主要的興趣;因此如果有大胸妹子在我面前引誘我,是沒有用的;唯一能刺中我「死穴」的只有女裝。528Please respect copyright.PENANAb7WH2ioerf
528Please respect copyright.PENANAtiBnXeFfap
Annie:我屋企都有兩件sex toy528Please respect copyright.PENANAsgFGKyvJ2O
Annie:我試過自己裝上假J然後插落第二條女度528Please respect copyright.PENANAQzwVlH5rgC
528Please respect copyright.PENANA2Kpi95U3Y6
我:你本身都係bi?528Please respect copyright.PENANAAz6sg0MMix
528Please respect copyright.PENANAnrHKvjAzFg
Annie:唔係嘅,只係貪屌女仔好玩(大笑528Please respect copyright.PENANA0GTqAKJoyd
528Please respect copyright.PENANAuqmwx7BLgY
我:話說今日我去私影時都就嚟出水528Please respect copyright.PENANAjCz3p798Ro
528Please respect copyright.PENANAl0lskCYz3Q
Annie:你都冇閪,點出水?528Please respect copyright.PENANAIXplVo9nfs
528Please respect copyright.PENANAaSsM796b2L
我:人工閪😏528Please respect copyright.PENANAVfh8Wui1pp
528Please respect copyright.PENANA5q0B842Vvm
Annie:😳😳528Please respect copyright.PENANA7zhRA85HBe
528Please respect copyright.PENANAKbf34B87xk
我:你嚟上我啦(笑喊528Please respect copyright.PENANAbwsIafmHf1
528Please respect copyright.PENANAODkBAprjF9
今晚看似她已經把我說的「豬扒」拋諸腦後;另一方面,我們已經聊了1.5個月,我三番四次約會她,她都不出來,漸漸地我也被磨去了耐性和動力。我開始有點迷惘,下次應該如何提出約會,還是只保持網上關係就罷了?