在TG上，大家互相交換照片，今年的動漫節我只去了兩天。604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxBi2F0SQSK
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDRjXgtDEaF
Annie看完我cosplay男角和女角的照片，她看到其中一張我cosplay著女角跟一另一名女coser的合照，便回應：604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKjP9fOLnB7
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcmGUmjKHr9
Annie：你隔離嗰條女好靚，你啲frd嚟？604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzciRKw3qKq
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ67YnfzCuc0
我：梗係唔係啦，啱啱先識嘅（笑喊604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgfroEenKNR
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2NBhc6YEV8
接著Annie也給她的化妝照我看，又交流著化妝心得。604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjkd9hbOy2x
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxtmoyqqOS3
論「擠牙膏式」聊天戰術，對我來講cosplay、化妝、寫網絡小說，這三大話題是最長壽命的話題，能用來談很長、很長的時間。604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZJrrhpKH6
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzBqVB9JwyC
總之，我最終目的就是要把她約出來見面！604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXTwAeL1BI2
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzYOsHokf37
每次我以cosplay裝扮出席這類活動時，都必定認識到新朋友，男女都有，也是同樣cosplay的人，然後他們都會跟我交換IG。604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnVWsGVyhEh
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmWYTaNnOS
在我的IG裡，粉絲頗多，主要有兩類：一是從cosplay圈認識的人，二是我從網上寫小說而招來的讀者粉絲和其他作者。604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfWwYrhdd9f
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9iMk6DduFM
每逢我發佈小說的宣傳文，只有十幾個讚好，但當我發佈cosplay照時，不論是男裝還是女裝，總會引來多3倍的讚好，真是人靠衣裝。604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZsCsEvQjsE
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwY2sIdXDOr
因此有人會覺得我的朋友圈子大，但其實這只不過是假象；因為我都很少與人會面，平日頂多都是跟我唯一好友Jason見面或獨自一人到cafe消閑。604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwkflGtBU1u
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAmqfxhv8vb
Annie：你個樣本身可以好女仔，出街實冇人知你係偽娘。604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvWolYpFKEK
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHk819KjsEH
我：但冇計啦我太高喇，實出賣男兒身㗎（笑喊604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrOTI5cXydA
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQkAN6wASxo
Annie：其實我好憎啲男仔睇樣604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy8jR9HpqWm
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQgpDg6p7hu
我：做咩突然間講呢啲嘅？604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5y4zswNWhP
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4L7ArnyCf
Annie：以前試過交換完相之後，條仔嫌我肥，就即block我604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJUN05zmXNm
Annie：我真係好自卑604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUmuRNWy1qF
Annie：啲人成日都同我講，話我個樣唔差，叫我扮下靚就有604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNTPB1SdBO
Annie：佢哋口口聲話唔介意肥閪，但係行動上就好誠實咁話我知，佢哋跟本介意。604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxrFeCPIpe1
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOmfXdjIsio
其實我也很清楚知道，這個世上沒有絕對的零歧視。很多時候人只是出於禮貌，而在表面的社交應酬上，包裝自己的說話，但心裡仍然保留真正的自己。604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmnJvzmoXhs
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCJcXD3iDEk
所以我的世界觀是：適者生存，與其努力去改變世界，倒不如學習保護自己。604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr1AQj6ZL6S
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSZIZPbsNKg
偽娘也會被歧視嗎？當然有，只是我比較幸運，身邊的人大致上都是禮貌跟我相處；或可能有人心底裡不喜歡，但我相信既然有人不喜歡，那麼總有人喜歡，每個人總會找到自己的一套生存之道，多訓練自己的敏感度，便可容易地觀察人心，從而使自己作更好的決定。604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaenBFqo8FH
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUNPyvUvJMD
所以在前面說到創建Tinder帳號時，我都說，即管大膽表明自己是偽娘身份，當有人被我吸引進來之後，再慢慢過濾誰是真正交友。604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNRFWuy2epB
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUfBCiJFp5E
或許有人問：你這樣不辛苦嗎？不做偽娘就好了。604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW9tOcyBdYP
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJySptaV8pC
我會反駁：食得鹹魚抵得渴，為心靈滿足而選擇紋身的人，會害怕生活上的阻礙而放棄嗎？604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7kbJPnFd5p
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDWtzvmwxh8
我們又繼續聊，然後我嘗試開玩笑地拋出一句。604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ11sYCmqPNH
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvtxDdT0Jzp
我：我好想食豬扒飯。604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqgOGhoaWMm
我：不過我想食你件豬多啲（笑喊604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw5SvmoJw6s
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL58TtWDX84
Annie：我唔係豬扒！！604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwP0W3Tx9bk
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Cu92b4UtB
糟糕了，我講錯說話，焦慮的我想嘗試修復。604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvVDBOtM5jn
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXtJkPKKgCo
我：豬扒都有豬扒嘅好（笑喊604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOM0u7gUvaU
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxTMLu2OFhQ
Annie：可以啪啪聲嘛（大笑604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFxiR8t9q74
Annie：同埋，我呢啲高嘅係叫坦克車唔係豬扒604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhnVgbtM6Ct
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxwoFlH85Yf
最原始的對話版本我已經忘記了，也刪了；總之大概記得，我以「豬扒」這個詞語來開玩笑，說過幾句；但是勾起了Annie的怒火，而我又嘗試熄滅。604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzlOrKyNIxm
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡed2OJvfH9C
我：噢，原來我一路以嚟攪錯咗豬扒呢個term嘅用法。604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKprUc3IaQ8
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgNAlXhuPcZ
沒辦法下，我只好裝傻混過去。604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmuY6cJIXwV
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmQTvR7b7bC
本以為如此便蒙混過關，於是我們又如常地相處下去。604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrFas8lYLer
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTrIQQGiKly
接著幾天後，我又約了一個攝影師在派對房裡拍攝泳裝照片；但是照片要修圖，要等待一陣日子才有。604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMjrJ7IgOYF
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA8HYeyHdyW
這晚我又跟Annie聊到半夜三更。604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrHucuLZ5pl
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ3qJHvZvLA
Annie：你去影泳衣咁有冇相？604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9QbXPNkILG
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVJwNgwqfDS
我如實地交代暫未有相片，只有一張我當場的自拍照，是上身照，相中的我看起來與一個穿三點式的女人無異。604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTwhTAsQnFS
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡShM8IwfhU4
艷濃的妝容、長長的啡捲髮、以及黑色三點式泳裝，露出大面積白皙的肌膚，正正是我當時的打扮。604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡloDWvA6mFd
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhMDUOQzGzk
Annie：慘囉慘囉，連你都咁靚。604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnNitjYvvVe
Annie：我一見到有排骨精就有種想保護佢嘅感覺604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzWM3E3JjH8
Annie：驚佢俾風吹走604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMw9qf6WzB7
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmt6EYX0Fvq
我：你講緊邊個排骨呀？（笑喊604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZyvWT5JuS
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7rZXt6wIvE
Annie：我好唔中意啲男仔自大604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxMrNsTpyAJ
Annie：見過有啲男仔喺網上露佢自己上身604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSy1KdWSr70
Annie：佢以為自己有六舊，有好大條J604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡshwpLoEGUN
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxEpSgdGUVi
我：俾著係我直情同人講：我冇J㗎（笑喊604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc5qDtYu6hT
我：冇六舊肌同大J，咁咪做返女人囉（笑喊604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiAwyvc3cTM
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3FKdJedOJq
我不像一般的某些直男，在網上放出袒露上身的大漢照。不穿衣服，我都會，只是我不會這樣表達而已。604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHaiUzNIRhh
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6iQ3kHKiAg
事實上，我的確在Tinder放過一張三點式泳裝照，還有假髮和妝容；並不是因為我對自己男性特徵（例如6腹肌）沒自信，而純粹是因為我喜歡美麗的自己。604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUhKj6jp5VG
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWKqkqc5VeC
以火影忍者的語言說，大多數男人都是使用鳴人的「逆後宮術」，而我則只是在用「後宮術」，一個「逆」字只是男版和女版的分別。604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYrJH1vIOzW
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN56fTbhUjc
Annie：半夜三更瞓唔著，突然性起，傾吓性？604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaq5IXgUncU
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbFa4jNwMXL
我：你做乜咁突然想講18禁呀？M到？（笑喊604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbvcoVPkghb
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH8DfYE2oUz
Annie：係呀，你又知？（笑喊604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjBeViX4tDU
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdAKXEPH3it
我：我憑直覺亂估咋604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxGBlHcdvXi
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyVWI0HAvM2
Annie：好奇想知你唔打飛機㗎咩？604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw4NCwiiscs
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXffeOI1VJE
我思索了一會，然後回覆。604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfxmCB6xijJ
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4zmdJw3NsL
我：打呀，但我嘅性幻想唔係男女扑嘢咁簡單。604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr6mnfV1NCg
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9d8Oa7VvUv
我的性癖，是戀物。事實上對於女性的胸、陰道，不是主要的興趣；因此如果有大胸妹子在我面前引誘我，是沒有用的；唯一能刺中我「死穴」的只有女裝。604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiocufT6nea
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkqUE4izir8
Annie：我屋企都有兩件sex toy604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFXAR4pAkbE
Annie：我試過自己裝上假J然後插落第二條女度604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiMDU9skgMW
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsoLk0IIdYu
我：你本身都係bi？604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmRmAU5C3Ai
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUddHfcgiRO
Annie：唔係嘅，只係貪屌女仔好玩（大笑604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2KNcPzKQ8O
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQT0p5ZRkxV
我：話說今日我去私影時都就嚟出水604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAAXspgsatq
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbBs8cTA1ZK
Annie：你都冇閪，點出水？604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzHKADKklaK
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRqZFOk7RRO
我：人工閪😏604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4heHvwksCb
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz0o4agUz68
Annie：😳😳604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBuSU47mKQR
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOsnZ9uJUdj
我：你嚟上我啦（笑喊604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE4c5ntCmpg
604Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvaRHe57oYh
今晚看似她已經把我說的「豬扒」拋諸腦後；另一方面，我們已經聊了1.5個月，我三番四次約會她，她都不出來，漸漸地我也被磨去了耐性和動力。我開始有點迷惘，下次應該如何提出約會，還是只保持網上關係就罷了？
Penana
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