在TG上,大家互相交換照片,今年的動漫節我只去了兩天。604Please respect copyright.PENANAxBi2F0SQSK
604Please respect copyright.PENANADRjXgtDEaF
Annie看完我cosplay男角和女角的照片,她看到其中一張我cosplay著女角跟一另一名女coser的合照,便回應:604Please respect copyright.PENANAKjP9fOLnB7
604Please respect copyright.PENANAcmGUmjKHr9
Annie:你隔離嗰條女好靚,你啲frd嚟?604Please respect copyright.PENANAzciRKw3qKq
604Please respect copyright.PENANA67YnfzCuc0
我:梗係唔係啦,啱啱先識嘅(笑喊604Please respect copyright.PENANAgfroEenKNR
604Please respect copyright.PENANA2NBhc6YEV8
接著Annie也給她的化妝照我看,又交流著化妝心得。604Please respect copyright.PENANAjkd9hbOy2x
604Please respect copyright.PENANAxtmoyqqOS3
論「擠牙膏式」聊天戰術,對我來講cosplay、化妝、寫網絡小說,這三大話題是最長壽命的話題,能用來談很長、很長的時間。604Please respect copyright.PENANAmZJrrhpKH6
604Please respect copyright.PENANAzBqVB9JwyC
總之,我最終目的就是要把她約出來見面!604Please respect copyright.PENANAXTwAeL1BI2
604Please respect copyright.PENANAzYOsHokf37
每次我以cosplay裝扮出席這類活動時,都必定認識到新朋友,男女都有,也是同樣cosplay的人,然後他們都會跟我交換IG。604Please respect copyright.PENANAnVWsGVyhEh
604Please respect copyright.PENANAkmWYTaNnOS
在我的IG裡,粉絲頗多,主要有兩類:一是從cosplay圈認識的人,二是我從網上寫小說而招來的讀者粉絲和其他作者。604Please respect copyright.PENANAfWwYrhdd9f
604Please respect copyright.PENANA9iMk6DduFM
每逢我發佈小說的宣傳文,只有十幾個讚好,但當我發佈cosplay照時,不論是男裝還是女裝,總會引來多3倍的讚好,真是人靠衣裝。604Please respect copyright.PENANAZsCsEvQjsE
604Please respect copyright.PENANAwY2sIdXDOr
因此有人會覺得我的朋友圈子大,但其實這只不過是假象;因為我都很少與人會面,平日頂多都是跟我唯一好友Jason見面或獨自一人到cafe消閑。604Please respect copyright.PENANAwkflGtBU1u
604Please respect copyright.PENANAAmqfxhv8vb
Annie:你個樣本身可以好女仔,出街實冇人知你係偽娘。604Please respect copyright.PENANAvWolYpFKEK
604Please respect copyright.PENANAHk819KjsEH
我:但冇計啦我太高喇,實出賣男兒身㗎(笑喊604Please respect copyright.PENANArOTI5cXydA
604Please respect copyright.PENANAQkAN6wASxo
Annie:其實我好憎啲男仔睇樣604Please respect copyright.PENANAy8jR9HpqWm
604Please respect copyright.PENANAQgpDg6p7hu
我:做咩突然間講呢啲嘅?604Please respect copyright.PENANA5y4zswNWhP
604Please respect copyright.PENANAp4L7ArnyCf
Annie:以前試過交換完相之後,條仔嫌我肥,就即block我604Please respect copyright.PENANAJUN05zmXNm
Annie:我真係好自卑604Please respect copyright.PENANAUmuRNWy1qF
Annie:啲人成日都同我講,話我個樣唔差,叫我扮下靚就有604Please respect copyright.PENANAzNTPB1SdBO
Annie:佢哋口口聲話唔介意肥閪,但係行動上就好誠實咁話我知,佢哋跟本介意。604Please respect copyright.PENANAxrFeCPIpe1
604Please respect copyright.PENANAOmfXdjIsio
其實我也很清楚知道,這個世上沒有絕對的零歧視。很多時候人只是出於禮貌,而在表面的社交應酬上,包裝自己的說話,但心裡仍然保留真正的自己。604Please respect copyright.PENANAmnJvzmoXhs
604Please respect copyright.PENANACJcXD3iDEk
所以我的世界觀是:適者生存,與其努力去改變世界,倒不如學習保護自己。604Please respect copyright.PENANAr1AQj6ZL6S
604Please respect copyright.PENANASZIZPbsNKg
偽娘也會被歧視嗎?當然有,只是我比較幸運,身邊的人大致上都是禮貌跟我相處;或可能有人心底裡不喜歡,但我相信既然有人不喜歡,那麼總有人喜歡,每個人總會找到自己的一套生存之道,多訓練自己的敏感度,便可容易地觀察人心,從而使自己作更好的決定。604Please respect copyright.PENANAaenBFqo8FH
604Please respect copyright.PENANAUNPyvUvJMD
所以在前面說到創建Tinder帳號時,我都說,即管大膽表明自己是偽娘身份,當有人被我吸引進來之後,再慢慢過濾誰是真正交友。604Please respect copyright.PENANANRFWuy2epB
604Please respect copyright.PENANAUfBCiJFp5E
或許有人問:你這樣不辛苦嗎?不做偽娘就好了。604Please respect copyright.PENANAW9tOcyBdYP
604Please respect copyright.PENANAJySptaV8pC
我會反駁:食得鹹魚抵得渴,為心靈滿足而選擇紋身的人,會害怕生活上的阻礙而放棄嗎?604Please respect copyright.PENANA7kbJPnFd5p
604Please respect copyright.PENANADWtzvmwxh8
我們又繼續聊,然後我嘗試開玩笑地拋出一句。604Please respect copyright.PENANA11sYCmqPNH
604Please respect copyright.PENANAvtxDdT0Jzp
我:我好想食豬扒飯。604Please respect copyright.PENANAqgOGhoaWMm
我:不過我想食你件豬多啲(笑喊604Please respect copyright.PENANAw5SvmoJw6s
604Please respect copyright.PENANAL58TtWDX84
Annie:我唔係豬扒!!604Please respect copyright.PENANAwP0W3Tx9bk
604Please respect copyright.PENANA9Cu92b4UtB
糟糕了,我講錯說話,焦慮的我想嘗試修復。604Please respect copyright.PENANAvVDBOtM5jn
604Please respect copyright.PENANAXtJkPKKgCo
我:豬扒都有豬扒嘅好(笑喊604Please respect copyright.PENANAOM0u7gUvaU
604Please respect copyright.PENANAxTMLu2OFhQ
Annie:可以啪啪聲嘛(大笑604Please respect copyright.PENANAFxiR8t9q74
Annie:同埋,我呢啲高嘅係叫坦克車唔係豬扒604Please respect copyright.PENANAhnVgbtM6Ct
604Please respect copyright.PENANAxwoFlH85Yf
最原始的對話版本我已經忘記了,也刪了;總之大概記得,我以「豬扒」這個詞語來開玩笑,說過幾句;但是勾起了Annie的怒火,而我又嘗試熄滅。604Please respect copyright.PENANAzlOrKyNIxm
604Please respect copyright.PENANAed2OJvfH9C
我:噢,原來我一路以嚟攪錯咗豬扒呢個term嘅用法。604Please respect copyright.PENANAKprUc3IaQ8
604Please respect copyright.PENANAgNAlXhuPcZ
沒辦法下,我只好裝傻混過去。604Please respect copyright.PENANAmuY6cJIXwV
604Please respect copyright.PENANAmQTvR7b7bC
本以為如此便蒙混過關,於是我們又如常地相處下去。604Please respect copyright.PENANArFas8lYLer
604Please respect copyright.PENANATrIQQGiKly
接著幾天後,我又約了一個攝影師在派對房裡拍攝泳裝照片;但是照片要修圖,要等待一陣日子才有。604Please respect copyright.PENANAMjrJ7IgOYF
604Please respect copyright.PENANAA8HYeyHdyW
這晚我又跟Annie聊到半夜三更。604Please respect copyright.PENANArHucuLZ5pl
604Please respect copyright.PENANAZ3qJHvZvLA
Annie:你去影泳衣咁有冇相?604Please respect copyright.PENANA9QbXPNkILG
604Please respect copyright.PENANAVJwNgwqfDS
我如實地交代暫未有相片,只有一張我當場的自拍照,是上身照,相中的我看起來與一個穿三點式的女人無異。604Please respect copyright.PENANATwhTAsQnFS
604Please respect copyright.PENANAShM8IwfhU4
艷濃的妝容、長長的啡捲髮、以及黑色三點式泳裝,露出大面積白皙的肌膚,正正是我當時的打扮。604Please respect copyright.PENANAloDWvA6mFd
604Please respect copyright.PENANAhMDUOQzGzk
Annie:慘囉慘囉,連你都咁靚。604Please respect copyright.PENANAnNitjYvvVe
Annie:我一見到有排骨精就有種想保護佢嘅感覺604Please respect copyright.PENANAzWM3E3JjH8
Annie:驚佢俾風吹走604Please respect copyright.PENANAMw9qf6WzB7
604Please respect copyright.PENANAmt6EYX0Fvq
我:你講緊邊個排骨呀?(笑喊604Please respect copyright.PENANARZyvWT5JuS
604Please respect copyright.PENANA7rZXt6wIvE
Annie:我好唔中意啲男仔自大604Please respect copyright.PENANAxMrNsTpyAJ
Annie:見過有啲男仔喺網上露佢自己上身604Please respect copyright.PENANASy1KdWSr70
Annie:佢以為自己有六舊,有好大條J604Please respect copyright.PENANAshwpLoEGUN
604Please respect copyright.PENANAxEpSgdGUVi
我:俾著係我直情同人講:我冇J㗎(笑喊604Please respect copyright.PENANAc5qDtYu6hT
我:冇六舊肌同大J,咁咪做返女人囉(笑喊604Please respect copyright.PENANAiAwyvc3cTM
604Please respect copyright.PENANA3FKdJedOJq
我不像一般的某些直男,在網上放出袒露上身的大漢照。不穿衣服,我都會,只是我不會這樣表達而已。604Please respect copyright.PENANAHaiUzNIRhh
604Please respect copyright.PENANA6iQ3kHKiAg
事實上,我的確在Tinder放過一張三點式泳裝照,還有假髮和妝容;並不是因為我對自己男性特徵(例如6腹肌)沒自信,而純粹是因為我喜歡美麗的自己。604Please respect copyright.PENANAUhKj6jp5VG
604Please respect copyright.PENANAWKqkqc5VeC
以火影忍者的語言說,大多數男人都是使用鳴人的「逆後宮術」,而我則只是在用「後宮術」,一個「逆」字只是男版和女版的分別。604Please respect copyright.PENANAYrJH1vIOzW
604Please respect copyright.PENANAN56fTbhUjc
Annie:半夜三更瞓唔著,突然性起,傾吓性?604Please respect copyright.PENANAaq5IXgUncU
604Please respect copyright.PENANAbFa4jNwMXL
我:你做乜咁突然想講18禁呀?M到?(笑喊604Please respect copyright.PENANAbvcoVPkghb
604Please respect copyright.PENANAH8DfYE2oUz
Annie:係呀,你又知?(笑喊604Please respect copyright.PENANAjBeViX4tDU
604Please respect copyright.PENANAdAKXEPH3it
我:我憑直覺亂估咋604Please respect copyright.PENANAxGBlHcdvXi
604Please respect copyright.PENANAyVWI0HAvM2
Annie:好奇想知你唔打飛機㗎咩?604Please respect copyright.PENANAw4NCwiiscs
604Please respect copyright.PENANAXffeOI1VJE
我思索了一會,然後回覆。604Please respect copyright.PENANAfxmCB6xijJ
604Please respect copyright.PENANA4zmdJw3NsL
我:打呀,但我嘅性幻想唔係男女扑嘢咁簡單。604Please respect copyright.PENANAr6mnfV1NCg
604Please respect copyright.PENANA9d8Oa7VvUv
我的性癖,是戀物。事實上對於女性的胸、陰道,不是主要的興趣;因此如果有大胸妹子在我面前引誘我,是沒有用的;唯一能刺中我「死穴」的只有女裝。604Please respect copyright.PENANAiocufT6nea
604Please respect copyright.PENANAkqUE4izir8
Annie:我屋企都有兩件sex toy604Please respect copyright.PENANAFXAR4pAkbE
Annie:我試過自己裝上假J然後插落第二條女度604Please respect copyright.PENANAiMDU9skgMW
604Please respect copyright.PENANAsoLk0IIdYu
我:你本身都係bi?604Please respect copyright.PENANAmRmAU5C3Ai
604Please respect copyright.PENANAUddHfcgiRO
Annie:唔係嘅,只係貪屌女仔好玩(大笑604Please respect copyright.PENANA2KNcPzKQ8O
604Please respect copyright.PENANAQT0p5ZRkxV
我:話說今日我去私影時都就嚟出水604Please respect copyright.PENANAAAXspgsatq
604Please respect copyright.PENANAbBs8cTA1ZK
Annie:你都冇閪,點出水?604Please respect copyright.PENANAzHKADKklaK
604Please respect copyright.PENANARqZFOk7RRO
我:人工閪😏604Please respect copyright.PENANA4heHvwksCb
604Please respect copyright.PENANAz0o4agUz68
Annie:😳😳604Please respect copyright.PENANABuSU47mKQR
604Please respect copyright.PENANAOsnZ9uJUdj
我:你嚟上我啦(笑喊604Please respect copyright.PENANAE4c5ntCmpg
604Please respect copyright.PENANAvaRHe57oYh
今晚看似她已經把我說的「豬扒」拋諸腦後;另一方面,我們已經聊了1.5個月,我三番四次約會她,她都不出來,漸漸地我也被磨去了耐性和動力。我開始有點迷惘,下次應該如何提出約會,還是只保持網上關係就罷了?