在TG上，大家互相交換照片，今年的動漫節我只去了兩天。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvGjb9WnMKa
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdPSLwGNh6h
Annie看完我cosplay男角和女角的照片，她看到其中一張我cosplay著女角跟一另一名女coser的合照，便回應：561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAg5W7J6jys
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpsm3VXf426
Annie：你隔離嗰條女好靚，你啲frd嚟？561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRponR99CBf
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnAHrTy4v45
我：梗係唔係啦，啱啱先識嘅（笑喊561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmihOvPXhvD
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeEYQGnxEHZ
接著Annie也給她的化妝照我看，又交流著化妝心得。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8GnpVQ1ZIC
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi5fxdHylvn
論「擠牙膏式」聊天戰術，對我來講cosplay、化妝、寫網絡小說，這三大話題是最長壽命的話題，能用來談很長、很長的時間。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3uWTlKbDUM
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5wPeFyEIzw
總之，我最終目的就是要把她約出來見面！561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlvoJfggQmQ
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH25mwWb70w
每次我以cosplay裝扮出席這類活動時，都必定認識到新朋友，男女都有，也是同樣cosplay的人，然後他們都會跟我交換IG。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa63f6BBZRL
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAPXLKJtlB3
在我的IG裡，粉絲頗多，主要有兩類：一是從cosplay圈認識的人，二是我從網上寫小說而招來的讀者粉絲和其他作者。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcGM8XSLamU
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBvWN6reXg0
每逢我發佈小說的宣傳文，只有十幾個讚好，但當我發佈cosplay照時，不論是男裝還是女裝，總會引來多3倍的讚好，真是人靠衣裝。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMjP21Ei2vq
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Y7TQYvhsX
因此有人會覺得我的朋友圈子大，但其實這只不過是假象；因為我都很少與人會面，平日頂多都是跟我唯一好友Jason見面或獨自一人到cafe消閑。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4UMaYroaoL
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6xm6ZBqTM3
Annie：你個樣本身可以好女仔，出街實冇人知你係偽娘。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Qiy7yENu5
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRtfAiUT3m0
我：但冇計啦我太高喇，實出賣男兒身㗎（笑喊561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsdYzBf5rYE
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPlrQncnFXr
Annie：其實我好憎啲男仔睇樣561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsrMVR9SzHt
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf9w8QkR9HC
我：做咩突然間講呢啲嘅？561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzafghafqCt
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlovFMHQdQL
Annie：以前試過交換完相之後，條仔嫌我肥，就即block我561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3KCWei3RKa
Annie：我真係好自卑561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuECPz9QJNb
Annie：啲人成日都同我講，話我個樣唔差，叫我扮下靚就有561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSV98OtQRUI
Annie：佢哋口口聲話唔介意肥閪，但係行動上就好誠實咁話我知，佢哋跟本介意。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYY5qR7AjAS
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0v3z8GTORk
其實我也很清楚知道，這個世上沒有絕對的零歧視。很多時候人只是出於禮貌，而在表面的社交應酬上，包裝自己的說話，但心裡仍然保留真正的自己。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7EWnGryH0e
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlESFlnH0ai
所以我的世界觀是：適者生存，與其努力去改變世界，倒不如學習保護自己。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIzJdXJXMl8
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBz0q5OFQ2t
偽娘也會被歧視嗎？當然有，只是我比較幸運，身邊的人大致上都是禮貌跟我相處；或可能有人心底裡不喜歡，但我相信既然有人不喜歡，那麼總有人喜歡，每個人總會找到自己的一套生存之道，多訓練自己的敏感度，便可容易地觀察人心，從而使自己作更好的決定。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡslJ0V79NnQ
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjo9zDTpnkK
所以在前面說到創建Tinder帳號時，我都說，即管大膽表明自己是偽娘身份，當有人被我吸引進來之後，再慢慢過濾誰是真正交友。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVqm0KJSuJ8
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI4HZnS0wq5
或許有人問：你這樣不辛苦嗎？不做偽娘就好了。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ72TOFxBmht
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqtQuM0DArI
我會反駁：食得鹹魚抵得渴，為心靈滿足而選擇紋身的人，會害怕生活上的阻礙而放棄嗎？561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGN3in9jten
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJs2CWIfdX
我們又繼續聊，然後我嘗試開玩笑地拋出一句。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPqGQQbUxWd
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkAlpMjEzcM
我：我好想食豬扒飯。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVJpKTQklGB
我：不過我想食你件豬多啲（笑喊561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaBWclprxVX
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrBONQ2zEzp
Annie：我唔係豬扒！！561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFmCJfoYKrv
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Qtm7VIbhp
糟糕了，我講錯說話，焦慮的我想嘗試修復。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhj9hfuCFmJ
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNLqUAWTyuK
我：豬扒都有豬扒嘅好（笑喊561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCw9mArmoS
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK6GkFDvaDv
Annie：可以啪啪聲嘛（大笑561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ZPmi1C0t2
Annie：同埋，我呢啲高嘅係叫坦克車唔係豬扒561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvRLrvv8Owl
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjkJaagNjqZ
最原始的對話版本我已經忘記了，也刪了；總之大概記得，我以「豬扒」這個詞語來開玩笑，說過幾句；但是勾起了Annie的怒火，而我又嘗試熄滅。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMoVL9ANxIf
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGuC1ElkqD4
我：噢，原來我一路以嚟攪錯咗豬扒呢個term嘅用法。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡryksXpr25q
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRYZwc1IRK0
沒辦法下，我只好裝傻混過去。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIMbuNBpOBn
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpY91HEOlwI
本以為如此便蒙混過關，於是我們又如常地相處下去。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQG4as8FmZ3
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcKFOd9SMah
接著幾天後，我又約了一個攝影師在派對房裡拍攝泳裝照片；但是照片要修圖，要等待一陣日子才有。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnBG3QlcGg3
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzAcpqrqmkj
這晚我又跟Annie聊到半夜三更。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsvsaCTjtrq
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ31fm78iP0x
Annie：你去影泳衣咁有冇相？561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnqQwmA3FmO
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzUeuIX04wX
我如實地交代暫未有相片，只有一張我當場的自拍照，是上身照，相中的我看起來與一個穿三點式的女人無異。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyd6tLa3hCC
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPzLBHILqKr
艷濃的妝容、長長的啡捲髮、以及黑色三點式泳裝，露出大面積白皙的肌膚，正正是我當時的打扮。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9abzrBhPbm
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6nF6m7YgSw
Annie：慘囉慘囉，連你都咁靚。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjFtucCbFGZ
Annie：我一見到有排骨精就有種想保護佢嘅感覺561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeR2jOZz7YZ
Annie：驚佢俾風吹走561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE41iAWhvqG
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsRF5m4X6Qz
我：你講緊邊個排骨呀？（笑喊561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK86mWKMeTH
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡciaDRePeTb
Annie：我好唔中意啲男仔自大561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRTFYC3c6LZ
Annie：見過有啲男仔喺網上露佢自己上身561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6xMDOpsGU7
Annie：佢以為自己有六舊，有好大條J561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHQkYr6TJnm
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoVMnnFHra9
我：俾著係我直情同人講：我冇J㗎（笑喊561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW6NPJFzSJC
我：冇六舊肌同大J，咁咪做返女人囉（笑喊561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLLLueEwIhb
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNJn61u6zB3
我不像一般的某些直男，在網上放出袒露上身的大漢照。不穿衣服，我都會，只是我不會這樣表達而已。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡobH3SP6UGG
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAVQc5PdADw
事實上，我的確在Tinder放過一張三點式泳裝照，還有假髮和妝容；並不是因為我對自己男性特徵（例如6腹肌）沒自信，而純粹是因為我喜歡美麗的自己。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF61mwBxsjJ
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn8yr9euoci
以火影忍者的語言說，大多數男人都是使用鳴人的「逆後宮術」，而我則只是在用「後宮術」，一個「逆」字只是男版和女版的分別。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIajNJiWKaD
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAy0AutFI8Y
Annie：半夜三更瞓唔著，突然性起，傾吓性？561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY99H4ByQvg
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoqVzROZAKR
我：你做乜咁突然想講18禁呀？M到？（笑喊561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjltErp7yi5
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxsLPgobhaa
Annie：係呀，你又知？（笑喊561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb1xfFWkufP
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDWPfY91zGj
我：我憑直覺亂估咋561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQ6wBZ2kYh
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZzzgz36ToP
Annie：好奇想知你唔打飛機㗎咩？561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyBREDaAyye
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlLhKDrLHNW
我思索了一會，然後回覆。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0fA4o25bLT
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdVWP7i1N46
我：打呀，但我嘅性幻想唔係男女扑嘢咁簡單。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5bnIyuMoIU
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqA7VUwPHnO
我的性癖，是戀物。事實上對於女性的胸、陰道，不是主要的興趣；因此如果有大胸妹子在我面前引誘我，是沒有用的；唯一能刺中我「死穴」的只有女裝。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpcgVrkkqs9
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmEJ45lUsGs
Annie：我屋企都有兩件sex toy561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcwJTSVO5ny
Annie：我試過自己裝上假J然後插落第二條女度561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKmoBfZEn0r
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD5J07nSWmL
我：你本身都係bi？561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6WAN33LmzO
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc1d6F1i7AU
Annie：唔係嘅，只係貪屌女仔好玩（大笑561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs15pv8kTtW
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0wRHb5Kxz3
我：話說今日我去私影時都就嚟出水561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡihJdE8Le3f
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaAjDIOYc5c
Annie：你都冇閪，點出水？561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9zcl87Uwrx
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfswpUM3Nos
我：人工閪😏561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE2Q5FdRDb2
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5tWzslrvhc
Annie：😳😳561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0k0YrNlG9I
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI6eEIB8OcH
我：你嚟上我啦（笑喊561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbEeeTvRjq5
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQl4P2ADmw
今晚看似她已經把我說的「豬扒」拋諸腦後；另一方面，我們已經聊了1.5個月，我三番四次約會她，她都不出來，漸漸地我也被磨去了耐性和動力。我開始有點迷惘，下次應該如何提出約會，還是只保持網上關係就罷了？
Penana
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