Priscilla：你嚟唔嚟我屋企睇Netflix？463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIdmS6l7w2h
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb4PNA5S4qO
慶祝過後，我就決定到Priscilla家暫過一晚。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2W19BlyuwD
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKWGN7eqXjO
我：你屋企人會俾我嚟咩？463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfsQ9PtMCng
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZNW4hCMMMG
Priscilla：我屋企人都喺上面，喺香港我冇親人。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAXwEp1z85Y
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB2IJo4BIf2
了解過後，才知原來她當初是為了工作，才來香港申請永久居民。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh6JfCKQHsm
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzLRh5BGu2J
最後，我們在麥當勞點了一份二人套餐，就這樣上去Priscilla所租住的地方。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlptNEchqWW
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1u0y8kgT2c
Priscilla所住的房子是一人房，空間和面積如我大學宿舍的二人房，她的房間也蠻整齊的，有陳列架放著她的書、化妝品，床邊也放著一些玩偶，她還懂得用精緻的白色系和綠色系的蕾絲窗簾布，來裝飾自己的房間。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNk2YybWR3D
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL026EOIQbj
Priscilla：你有帶褲來換嗎？463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2leHU1QNmC
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjucIE0hKe1
我：當然沒有啊。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvaMUNog7jm
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡay9PB7kgch
Priscilla：我這裡有一條大碼的睡褲，應該很適合你穿。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKuXHWHZyHj
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEnDRF1gaQA
我脫下外套，和換上她給的女裝睡褲，便爬上床上和她一起看Netflix上的劇集。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBkoZvVxgwP
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMJ0lKvFrXU
嚴格來說，這條睡褲算不上是女裝，而是一條很中性的睡褲。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkw0g40VVv4
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB1nkZcihaN
Priscilla：同你講，格離室友住嘅房仲大過我呢度一倍，但租就只係貴幾百。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2PvUzVHnZF
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb3J8vSkEwK
我：你呢度係專租俾女仔住？463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbqnxoEUl3L
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwhU8TyCuGY
Priscilla：係呀。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo27gfxTxSm
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXqpGOgRT3a
我：咁點解你又俾我上嚟嘅？你唔驚我做啲咩㗎咩？463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk5wKQUjLkb
（我對她微笑地問。）463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyVKJqUljnj
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu63wHQoLOE
Priscilla：就係因為你係偽娘所以先俾你上嚟。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9KMaxR37qY
Priscilla：我當你係女仔先俾你上嚟。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIXMxehish2
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbkDhYCTVF7
她說完，我不心想：難道我已經落入了Friendzone？463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkinb2K1yOP
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJalCKlvRQa
Priscilla：你想看甚麼？463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2aJPYhKs63
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLaWoRmSQGA
我：睇下有冇咩日劇先啦。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2CfYH2v18Z
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡodzu3zGFs6
Priscilla在iPad上滑著，表示她正在使用朋友的帳號，於是她又問我要不要一起開個屬於自己的帳號。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMoEn0JdKMe
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLQbOTrKv80
我：不如就開個account啦。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxTsztXmeFw
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpeQfggfvve
Priscilla：咁我哋就分返每個月嘅台費啦，我出住錢先。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡINR8nMz4ZO
Priscilla：密碼你自己定啦。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0xlD4vh6TT
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeJt8tFCmzC
我：咁⋯⋯密碼就用我個名，同埋今日嘅日期啦！463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0HsiUlZRH7
我：就叫「watergod20220201」啦。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDpgmMbCSFU
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWV7ok9neqa
雖然現今科技發達，有Google會幫人記住自己在任何網站設下的帳戶和密碼；但我心裡還是希望Priscilla會記住我的名字，還有今天的日子。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTCYcTsPPU7
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC5pb0fUJY4
Priscilla：不如就睇呢套啦！463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB6HzIIwMmd
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVRxAazbflS
於是，她就點進了《勿說是推理》。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq2MG129eKk
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMlJbaTOjXH
Priscilla：你唔洗返屋企咩？463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqIdNjNBoCi
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuCKRUmyj53
我：睇完先再算啦。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡspn4DHQLkr
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJKzOFKZpzD
我們的身子都是橫向地躺在床上，身子是半坐半躺的，各自地蓋上毛氈；只有把腿子捲起來，才會勉強地把全身放在床上，我和她的距離，已經是肩碰肩。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn6KPIw2BBT
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtSeEnN640e
看了很久，她自自然然地睡著了，而我也借著自己疲累的身軀，打算順勢地睡在她身上；可是理性又告訴我，用這樣的「肢體接觸」來推進關係，太冒險了，結果我只是往攬枕裡睡著。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEZAfBZUgwq
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkSTacGYuJF
-----大年初一的早上-----463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzIxIMrr0fX
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQASzFPIZ8A
我們的早餐，就是去飲茶。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEvSUXOW2E4
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5GdNTXCmzg
「奶黃包！」侍應有禮地送上了其中一道點心，點心上的每個白臉小包，都印上了一個黃色的笑表情，我有點以為自己在吃Lihkg的頭像。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8AFSuBR4VB
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4NBtdGkElw
Priscilla：你會搵男仔定女仔拍拖㗎？463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqsF6J1Are9
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ26NhB17ily
這已經是不知第幾次，被人問上這種問題了。每當我被人這樣問的時候，我總是要思考一會才能回答。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS01yps2ot6
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyK09isriAB
我：搵女仔拍拖就梗㗎啦，但我唔知應唔應該叫自己做無性戀。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd8UInbee6v
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI2WM3vrdtr
根據「無性戀」的定義，是指一個人對任何性別的人感受不到，又或者是只感受到很微弱的性吸引力。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUtHwHbegpX
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ikNIUWvdr
如果直接問我的性取向，就如發問這樣的數學題：0除以0等於多少？0？1？無限？無解？無意義？463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTUXDkzW74n
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH51xkNyUPu
對我自己來說，最優先的性傾向就是戀物、其次才是跟女生進行性行為；而且我極少會主動去想像跟女生在床上活動的畫面。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVrKHMNXRZT
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUq6gh6W50S
都是那個比喻：我最喜歡吃魚，但不等於抗拒吃豬；平日如果要二選其一的話，我當然選擇吃魚；但如果有人主動請我吃豬的話，我還是會開放地接受吃豬。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGiNNw81snT
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡejlod1rz0m
只膚淺地說我是異性戀，不準確；雖然在浪漫的情感上，我也是追求一個女生談戀愛；但在性的層面上，我的最優先傾向是戀物，女生才是其次。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoMDkXniDbk
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFb8uEGXzO3
說我是無性戀，也不準確；因為我也有戀物的傾向，會看黃色網頁，這已經是一種性生活。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNht6gXgMKj
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfvZ7HwZl0f
我不敢直接向Priscilla說自己是戀物，怕她接受不了。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO3JZCkULXs
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡusYUMOKNfs
Priscilla：講真，憑我嘅雷達，我又真係感受唔到你身上嘅性吸引力。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEjQowVUWBN
Priscilla：我又唔覺得你係直，又唔覺得你係gay。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYo84aZbYEn
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWZWBNeqS8J
我：你第一次扑野係幾時？463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDlAutOhF16
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMnr0CWeppF
Priscilla：8年前我喺英國同過一個男仔上床。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGU3vG0vaMb
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK7JDtuUiVj
接著，她說起自己的情史，我才了解到，她有過至少一次的上床經驗，我沒有再詳細過問她在英國時的那段經歷；但估計她和那個洋漢的關係，都是停留在FWB（friends with benefits）的關係。我有這樣的推測，是因為相信，很少人能夠接受異地戀。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2CeZOXf5Zu
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrcmLtjE4S8
又以我和Yuli（Ch.19出現）的關係為例，換著是我或者是Yuli，對於在外地人物的感情處理，很多時候都是「玩過就算」的心態。如果有真正到外地留學或工作的人（又或者是趁著假期回流到香港玩）都知道，常見的例子就是，你到一個像蘭桂坊這樣的地方消遣，運氣好的話隨時能讓你遇到一個心儀的目標跟你上床；但，上床過後是否真的成為了大家常說的男女朋友？有多少人最終真的把「佢」（中文書面語的性別代詞只有「他」和「她」，太二元我不喜歡在此使用。）抱回你的家鄉？又或者「佢」令到你住在異鄉一起生活？463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzRyQwpKjM
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC4MdjlRYAy
Priscilla真正認真的關係，是在4年前。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxy9CuqAwH5
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwI2Gdm8xio
Priscilla：我上一任男朋友係4年前，嗰時係我家人介紹俾我嘅。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNaR6uqJeQE
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFs7raBJXX9
我：咁拍咗幾耐？463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrLauueZ973
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡebLqHLt7Q7
Priscilla：都9個月，之後就係因為佢對我用冷暴力，所以分手。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZI8sXdB2oC
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZJp3xs4do9
當她剛才說到「我又真係感受唔到你身上嘅性吸引力」的時候，我在想：是否她對我沒有feel？463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwenlE89jKq
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPDMG8WQeMa
可是當我聽完她的基本情史之後，她那兩段的關係相隔的時間，4年，也有點久，不禁讓我想到另一種可能：她也是不容易投入情感的人嗎？以她的條件，也經常接觸不同的人，要遇上幾百個男生絕對不是問題，要找上一個條件比我好的人，都不是問題，為甚還需要家人的介紹？而且到現在還是沒有男朋友？即使很多香港男生不喜歡大陸人，但如果要為拍拖而拍拖的話，最終也是會找上她呀。真讓人有點摸不透。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCc6UrP1Q5U
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKa3ln7G1Pl
Priscilla：你係咪有好多女性朋友㗎？463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPMhlgiG6IL
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTum1cePSiU
我：我冇乜女仔friend㗎。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWe37oyhiIR
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrCQIB7RGoV
Priscilla：下？你咁都冇？偽娘唔係應該有好多女性朋友咩？463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiRITRPfJ4C
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm2MU3FRfCR
我：幼稚園至到小學初期嗰時會，但而家冇曬呢種緣份lu。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXHh1imx3gJ
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAIXzQd8SLp
我：講起上次拍拖，都已經係8年前，嗰個女仔係喺Facebook識。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA1dz7qzrFR
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXjktUIwfWZ
說著，我又說起自己的情史。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrsVSHJZfL7
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZlZkbcSoow
8年前的那段關係，又是從網上開始，印象之中是談了兩個星期左右就出門相見。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL0POTv7Oru
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX8cpMj7egM
我：嗰個女仔，又幾主動，我從未試過做主動嗰個，去拖人隻手，係佢拖我手先。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOa2a72HxwV
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡakwofhH7Wl
我：然後就係，「拖」「攬」「錫」做齊，只差攪野。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLxbiy7PLJt
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoxMeAIbP58
簡單而言，大家的關係就在stage 3（錫）止步。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡseGLYHyrz6
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRel2ulL3Nl
雖然很多無性戀者對性行為（所謂的Stage 4和5）沒有興趣，但是很多都還是喜歡被牽手（拖）、擁抱（攬）、親吻（錫），享受純愛的感覺。 463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcxp4PynA7U
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd75NLDxaOs
就連我自己的愛情觀裡，也是相信只有「純愛」，只進行 「拖」「攬」「錫」就夠，再上兩級就不了。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi93dz7bnqi
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrGR551KcP3
這也是我一直以來仍是「處」的主因。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡABg8iRYSXv
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoGhieaNYJE
我：最後拍左一個月就散。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV9zTu9aMls
我：就係因為頂唔順佢太過霸道，脾氣又差，所以先分手。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ74A6GDJcYW
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc2k6t38Ivm
那個時候的我，「偽娘」這個靈魂仍然是深深地封印在自己的心裡，連我自己也幾乎沒有察覺，我可是完全以社會講的男性型象來生活。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcD3and3UzF
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjAw9iEgdW4
老實說，即使是現在，我也很討厭女生霸道，這樣我駕馭不了。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2RilOno3bD
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4HOFIPT4q2
Priscilla：我聽講港女係咁㗎。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ZmCj1kQya
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFCYKBY8DR1
我：係，但你又唔好以偏概全，都唔係一定嘅。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7TwaQ4c7Ai
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbPeSnAC30
這頓早茶，以AA制完。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAmUeQ6j2HF
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2TFVC0vJN1
我送著Priscilla回家，在路上，「肢體接觸」這四個字像一個鋼造的框架，牢牢地鎖在自己的腦海裡，又是那做為做而做的接觸。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLSKpDiwjoO
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbttTP37bWC
在過馬路時，我眼睛又是瞄著她的手臀，想了一想，好不容易才敢伸手撓下去。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU8fzlTB3Nn
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqROmQgIr0B
我：下次再玩啦！463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCokR1PloBK
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnrdzZbEPdA
Priscilla：來一個抱抱吧！463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYFe3J7A5ZL
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjs8lHbWlyD
在Priscilla家的大廳裡，我和她來了一個擁抱道別。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmQuEuJ7jyy
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡacxO2oKQ0n
這個擁抱，只能算是一般社交式的擁抱；因為我很清楚地感受到，她只是來了一秒，然後就抽身離開，彷彿不再讓我擁抱多幾秒。463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ34GyIvLDCU
Penana
search
Loginarrow_drop_down
Registerarrow_drop_down
