我站在門前許久,才忐忑不安的按下電鈴。464Please respect copyright.PENANACCm1IWnDkB
464Please respect copyright.PENANAY5eQWK26f4
出來應門的是個有些年紀的婦人。464Please respect copyright.PENANAD1p4BeeQBy
464Please respect copyright.PENANARrCHByDqfv
「請問,這是英傑的家嗎?」464Please respect copyright.PENANAzH84FCcO0I
464Please respect copyright.PENANA8IZYYTftHt
婦人露出狐疑的眼神。464Please respect copyright.PENANAtaRm391a4o
464Please respect copyright.PENANAg5IbfSmc2m
「妳是…?」464Please respect copyright.PENANArnrt8b3W2n
464Please respect copyright.PENANAvps08uMDFq
「我是英傑的朋友,因為我一直聯絡不到他,所以…」464Please respect copyright.PENANAkpaJOwbThN
464Please respect copyright.PENANA1Gi6GKGPn1
「妳找錯間了,這裡沒這個人!」她揮揮手,避開我的眼神。464Please respect copyright.PENANArIMy105vEh
464Please respect copyright.PENANAQt7pTGlWVT
「我知道他被通緝!」在她準備關上裡面的木門前,我急著大喊。464Please respect copyright.PENANAKbZUj3RVH4
464Please respect copyright.PENANAmj9pdkznrR
婦人停下動作,又把木門拉開了些。464Please respect copyright.PENANAUPsHQ7ntOO
464Please respect copyright.PENANAyqkbVCSxc6
「他被通緝的時候我們還見過面,可是之後就斷了聯絡。」我解釋。464Please respect copyright.PENANA6KDzhldpO0
464Please respect copyright.PENANAJXgK0rMYpJ
「妳是他女朋友?」464Please respect copyright.PENANA9xS8ZWBOss
464Please respect copyright.PENANAa0qa6hNnR1
「不是,我不是,我是…他朋友。」我沒敢說出自己的身份。464Please respect copyright.PENANAhgXQr7W1LD
464Please respect copyright.PENANAyZCKQg47PU
464Please respect copyright.PENANAm6jeDwUEk4
「他沒和我們聯絡也很久了。」464Please respect copyright.PENANAsHnVfjD0vP
464Please respect copyright.PENANA5pZhrHeGHp
「還有人跟我說他死在外面了。」婦人用著台語說著,語氣平淡得不可思議。464Please respect copyright.PENANAaCzvrWISkS
464Please respect copyright.PENANAFIAHPMva65
我一時語塞,沒能回話。464Please respect copyright.PENANAzWLB5dxPgG
464Please respect copyright.PENANAsdC391HypW
「讓妳跑一趟,歹勢,英傑不在這裡,我也不知道他在哪裡。」464Please respect copyright.PENANAZStvXSzX6Z
464Please respect copyright.PENANA6V2BEPV8u1
「那個…那,我可以留下我的手機,如果他有跟你們聯絡,請他跟我聯絡好嗎?」464Please respect copyright.PENANA1WFtAUrHVC
464Please respect copyright.PENANA96A3B0xaIM
婦人一臉不耐煩,我很尷尬,但還是厚臉皮的寫下自己的號碼塞過鐵門,交到婦人手裡。464Please respect copyright.PENANADLHFgmJWZS
464Please respect copyright.PENANAfT8nC2F7Du
「小姐貴姓?」464Please respect copyright.PENANAUFPTuvDq3A
464Please respect copyright.PENANA7OtuMSTRZ9
「我姓豺。」我回得迅速。464Please respect copyright.PENANA8gKD9Csb5S
464Please respect copyright.PENANA9zPMIceUYX
「………」婦人突然噤了聲,透過鐵門盯著我。464Please respect copyright.PENANAOPYn2GIvoF
464Please respect copyright.PENANAydd3bUIDTU
「糟。」我心想。464Please respect copyright.PENANAbZ39LbLWXi
464Please respect copyright.PENANAZT5rj8eFzP
她隨即關上木門。464Please respect copyright.PENANAwFg7k4fulF
464Please respect copyright.PENANAmIS4tLc43E
「她知道我是誰了。」464Please respect copyright.PENANAZ6daidpO6T
464Please respect copyright.PENANABkf4QWYKje
我當下便明白,不管英傑有沒有回到這裡,我都無法得知了。464Please respect copyright.PENANAShxdk1wqO6
464Please respect copyright.PENANAGlJ3ChmV8W
464Please respect copyright.PENANArNgAze8vEX
唯一的線索就這麼斷了。464Please respect copyright.PENANAsZNJ40XiuN
464Please respect copyright.PENANABkNIFfBS0C
我不敢換手機號碼,睡覺時也不關機,就怕漏接了英傑打來的電話。464Please respect copyright.PENANA1fGzMLMZ4N
464Please respect copyright.PENANAZqLfqPGqq9
就這樣升上了高中二年級,464Please respect copyright.PENANA4A8pjoT1lO
464Please respect copyright.PENANA3dWIMkPCGL
迎來了人生的轉折。464Please respect copyright.PENANAtymvfzd82Y
464Please respect copyright.PENANA3Qs6lessuk
464Please respect copyright.PENANAI0tE9HPChi
父母親早在我國小時就已離異,但他們為了不讓我和弟弟分開,便還是住在一起。我在一個富裕的家庭長大,幾乎是要什麼有什麼,生性霸道且極端任性,父親一生風流,基於愧疚或父愛,總寵著我,比起成天碎碎念的母親,我覺得自己比較愛爸爸。464Please respect copyright.PENANA6lwMkhE97H
464Please respect copyright.PENANA3NGT9WIv5t
在高二那一年,父親生意失利,經營的公司惡性倒閉,再加上「賭」及「面子」,父親找上了地下錢莊。464Please respect copyright.PENANAjzIi4I5uJf
「家道中落」似乎是一瞬間的事。464Please respect copyright.PENANAmsy7HfAo4k
464Please respect copyright.PENANAsae5SkPN8r
當我放學回家,看見債主找人在家門用噴漆寫上的字眼,我還沒能反應過來。464Please respect copyright.PENANA7dfxpVRefs
464Please respect copyright.PENANAvl4tszSAkx
「都已經離婚了,為什麼還這樣拖累我!」
母親氣得哭了。464Please respect copyright.PENANA95avznlH7a
464Please respect copyright.PENANARAg01QVRHD
某天晚上,母親進來房間,告訴我,房子要賣掉了。464Please respect copyright.PENANAmdKERIJQPh
464Please respect copyright.PENANALMRHkST4Bk
他們離婚後,所買的房子仍是共有財產,父親要把房子賣掉,才能償還債務。464Please respect copyright.PENANAGwL73Ow77z
464Please respect copyright.PENANA2WXIyMMqfX
我還沒能了解事態的嚴重,跑到客廳跟低著頭的父親大吼「這是我長大的家,就因為你,所以我的家就要這樣沒了!」464Please respect copyright.PENANAO3kHxi4jj4
464Please respect copyright.PENANAAYCGHIeZ33
「那妳要我死是不是!」爸爸第一次吼我。464Please respect copyright.PENANAUxdl5mQNTM
464Please respect copyright.PENANAJkMIyOqQx5
「我沒錢,地下錢莊說要砍我手腳,我讓他砍是不是!」464Please respect copyright.PENANAHKKoh7YhB8
464Please respect copyright.PENANArjKCo6o8PQ
我嚇到了,沒能反駁。464Please respect copyright.PENANAp1QJzNcp6o
464Please respect copyright.PENANAbq7Jyji3ap
「房子要賣給媽媽的朋友,那個朋友說可以再租給媽媽。因為是妳爸爸要賣的,所以他要搬出去,妳就跟媽媽和弟弟繼續住在這裡,不用搬家。」
母親在旁緩頰。464Please respect copyright.PENANAqOTU4ArSht
464Please respect copyright.PENANAkMmlB5qqwq
我沒說話,看了看坐在沙發上的父親與一旁滿臉擔憂的母親,便逕自走回房間。464Please respect copyright.PENANAUrZOvQREzg
464Please respect copyright.PENANAWFp1jqTOAD
回到房間,想起國小五年級那天,母親到安親班接我和弟弟,把我拉到一旁說的話。
「媽媽今天和爸爸去辦離婚了,妳爸爸堅持要其中一個小孩的監護權,弟弟又還小…所以妳的監護權是爸爸。媽媽不是不要妳,妳不要擔心。我們也說好不會讓妳跟弟弟分開,所以我們大家還是會住在一起喔!」464Please respect copyright.PENANAlPpM4BPb5V
464Please respect copyright.PENANA1kc1jQgHXn
我突然明白自己不能接受房子賣掉的原因是什麼。464Please respect copyright.PENANAx8zxKLGMwE
464Please respect copyright.PENANAnE8Wn0VzwJ
我不能接受的,其實是家的破碎。464Please respect copyright.PENANAhDr49E7wL8
464Please respect copyright.PENANADCLTolsKB3
因為一直都住在一起,所以沒有分離的感覺。464Please respect copyright.PENANAa7G2jFcwtE
464Please respect copyright.PENANAMHaPio4Tpe
「妳爸爸是一個無情的人。」
「因為小時候是養子,他弟弟出生後,就被虐待又被冷落,所以就連阿公過世也沒回去奔喪。」
「他和前一個老婆離婚之後,完全沒有再過問他們的生活,也從來沒去看過他以前的小孩。」
母親曾這麼說過。464Please respect copyright.PENANAxTOy5NPMlz
464Please respect copyright.PENANAVF7ED6ZUno
「妳不要管我,反正我的監護權又不是妳!」
「是妳自己不要我的!」
某次和母親吵架,我說了這樣的話,害母親哭了整晚。464Please respect copyright.PENANAn7HW9nLfRL
464Please respect copyright.PENANAhZS3KoAU6M
「去和妳媽媽道歉。」
「她沒有不要妳。」
那天晚上父親走到房間嚴厲地說。
而他根本很少命令我做什麼。464Please respect copyright.PENANA17Wq3HAAU1
464Please respect copyright.PENANAdlu5MCuM2W
「小姐貴姓?」
「我姓豺。」
關上門前那婦人的眼神,帶了驚訝及恨意。464Please respect copyright.PENANA1uf7I6SKy2
464Please respect copyright.PENANAGnTqZYCVmt
「以前我會怪別人、怪命運,其實我不能怪誰。」
「曾有一段時間我忌妒妳,妳擁有我未曾擁有的一切。」
「現在我誰也不怪了。」
紙上那美麗的字,看起來多麼傷心。464Please respect copyright.PENANAmC8iv6kgrl
464Please respect copyright.PENANAKlfzcRvifb
464Please respect copyright.PENANAJ20BWf1Xb2
我的腦中閃現了許許多多回憶。464Please respect copyright.PENANAumN1fckAY9
464Please respect copyright.PENANA9njGgQ3WnE
464Please respect copyright.PENANALeDNaHCrx3
媽媽睡了之後,我走到客廳,父親盯著電視,卻兩眼無神。464Please respect copyright.PENANA7nALu8i6b1
464Please respect copyright.PENANAx9BuTjzMgT
「爸爸。」我喊他。464Please respect copyright.PENANA3fNmW1OoJg
464Please respect copyright.PENANAbuX3clJCGb
父親抬頭看我。464Please respect copyright.PENANAMZXIGqX3Mw
464Please respect copyright.PENANAUXROaQM3QW
「你搬出去之後要去哪裡?」464Please respect copyright.PENANA3UKt6bYcgS
464Please respect copyright.PENANAsoBPT7uwxt
「我不知道。」464Please respect copyright.PENANAy4jYYoF0Vm
464Please respect copyright.PENANAdGEjCyPlQT
464Please respect copyright.PENANAxCBGGE9kql
「我和你一起搬走。」464Please respect copyright.PENANA8tEQrMwTxQ
464Please respect copyright.PENANAPPMZM03A2c
我說出這句話的時候,爸爸一臉驚訝。464Please respect copyright.PENANAzhIYr44XFc
464Please respect copyright.PENANAGQSRsqRsz7
「真的嗎?」464Please respect copyright.PENANARqNlDhKeWe
464Please respect copyright.PENANAcUQHduHzpe
「嗯。」464Please respect copyright.PENANAeF1yUNyUDv
464Please respect copyright.PENANARYm8f2bmPd
「…好啊。」464Please respect copyright.PENANAPqUoJF2L3P
464Please respect copyright.PENANAbJ59wJ9EuL
「那我去睡了,爸爸晚安。」464Please respect copyright.PENANAczpF7m06ei
464Please respect copyright.PENANALOVfXpWBCF
464Please respect copyright.PENANAsuTQxWKrLV
那時,我只想著,父親一旦離開了,我可能再也見不到他。464Please respect copyright.PENANAQcpqaeYcJH
464Please respect copyright.PENANAZaW2ihnS4g
即使他不是個好兒子、好丈夫或稱職的父親,他仍是我的父親,從來都捨不得打我罵我的父親。464Please respect copyright.PENANA2wMpO7Ytyb
464Please respect copyright.PENANAh6kOgL3oAW
隔天,我便自己出門找房子。464Please respect copyright.PENANASOiKzfle0m
464Please respect copyright.PENANAhKQxSwNua7
母親雖然擔心又不捨,但沒能阻止我的任性與固執,就還是陪著我找房子。464Please respect copyright.PENANAh8bQkv0d6R
464Please respect copyright.PENANAvA8oWwhOfn
我們在離家不遠的地方找到新住處,因為我當時尚未成年,還是請父親來和房東簽合約,之後,我自己忙搬家,請了開貨車的親戚與國中同學幫忙,把所有的家具都搬到新住處。464Please respect copyright.PENANA6Wq9xAdV6t
464Please respect copyright.PENANAwPIk4tguZZ
464Please respect copyright.PENANAuVJ9ctpao3
然而父親沒有因此痛改前非,我們搬家後沒多久,又有新的債主找上門。464Please respect copyright.PENANAnGjbM7j4wO
464Please respect copyright.PENANAQ1CPGu5mKf
那天,黑兔子(忘記她的人請往前看系列文)趁著假日到家裡玩,我們在房間聊天,父親在客廳看電視。464Please respect copyright.PENANAdTbhcp0R0s
464Please respect copyright.PENANAVzuIDLarwV
正嘻嘻哈哈的時候,有人按電鈴。464Please respect copyright.PENANAnDd3O7hBlG
464Please respect copyright.PENANAH0P5CrAIgj
按了好幾聲,父親卻不去應門。464Please respect copyright.PENANAeZvDzrMyPh
464Please respect copyright.PENANAHTuiCIlIxr
我走到客廳,看見父親把手指舉在嘴巴前面,示意我不要出聲。464Please respect copyright.PENANAAua6PxmcEV
464Please respect copyright.PENANAZwNsxgVwE5
對方按了幾下電鈴,便開始撞門,接著大聲咆哮、怒罵三字經。464Please respect copyright.PENANApkJf3s1tfI
464Please respect copyright.PENANAMkVAOySHpt
房間裡的黑兔子嚇到,悄聲問我怎麼回事,我覺得很丟臉,但還是告訴她,門外的是父親的債主,我們得裝做不在家…但是債主大概早就猜到我們假裝不在家吧,才會待在門外不走。464Please respect copyright.PENANAd0M7hhqUg8
464Please respect copyright.PENANAgJ2XwJoLrI
直到傍晚,我才戰戰兢兢的開門,送黑兔子到公車站搭車。464Please respect copyright.PENANAdk3OOq5XYB
464Please respect copyright.PENANA7xxlse4yQq
464Please respect copyright.PENANAIf5LzECb8N
那年發生的事情非常地多,我喜歡上了一個學長,但他卻用各種不同的方式,在我的身上、心上都留下殘酷的疤痕。464Please respect copyright.PENANAJSONcLaEBr
464Please respect copyright.PENANAByJnET3bf5
但那是另一個故事了。464Please respect copyright.PENANAxANGEEuSIF
464Please respect copyright.PENANAqL8OPjLQU1
464Please respect copyright.PENANAHlM16OObDK
我和父親常常為了錢的事情吵架。464Please respect copyright.PENANANCNGUO1Iu1
464Please respect copyright.PENANAnMqJScm6FX
我就讀的學校是私立職校,學費非常地貴。而我放學後在賣場打工所賺的錢,付了生活所需的開銷以後幾乎所剩無幾。464Please respect copyright.PENANApe73wV9NDe
464Please respect copyright.PENANAZTBbqOsv25
那些茶來伸手、飯來張口,像個公主的日子彷彿離自己已經非常遙遠。464Please respect copyright.PENANAyOddyuuKJW
464Please respect copyright.PENANAACd2gH6wk1
我偶爾會回去媽媽家吃飯,但絕口不提自己為錢煩惱的事。也許是怕母親擔心,又也許是怕母親責怪父親吧。464Please respect copyright.PENANAwIdZwChLAf
464Please respect copyright.PENANA2g3Ae1Fdhg
464Please respect copyright.PENANAzQJhWZo037
在那些身心俱疲的日子裡,我很常想起英傑。464Please respect copyright.PENANArAlSwHZ6RU
464Please respect copyright.PENANAkG0fNKWxqT
為什麼一直都沒有和我聯絡呢?464Please respect copyright.PENANAC4N5O3ELmU
464Please respect copyright.PENANAkIGwQBMs1k
難道逃出台灣了嗎?464Please respect copyright.PENANAZLT41dXYU4
464Please respect copyright.PENANAdpXZ4RGUqP
難道…真的死了嗎?464Please respect copyright.PENANAD8qIeZq3u7
464Please respect copyright.PENANAHOj6aOTCTO
464Please respect copyright.PENANA27BLPMN6af
一天晚上,我帶著傷痕回家,在家門前,我把運動外套拉起,確定不會被看見痕跡之後進門,想著自己為什麼這樣找罪受。464Please respect copyright.PENANASCExGqwhdI
464Please respect copyright.PENANAN8tsgk7cgz
但父親不在家。464Please respect copyright.PENANAqKanp676NC
464Please respect copyright.PENANArLQtqR2Teu
撥了父親的電話,聽見那邊的麻將聲。464Please respect copyright.PENANAGNhyY9ye6H
464Please respect copyright.PENANAJxnvpwcLkO
我對父親大吼,卻被掛電話。464Please respect copyright.PENANADStv0RerCi
464Please respect copyright.PENANAmRbHdHVitt
那一刻,我想著自己所做的一切。464Please respect copyright.PENANAIohZEoxOda
464Please respect copyright.PENANANmMMcKH18P
「都是自己選的。」464Please respect copyright.PENANAqERXudRpmP
464Please respect copyright.PENANAxymeucgdeB
「沒人逼妳,都是妳自己選的。」464Please respect copyright.PENANA13vvjbgILv
464Please respect copyright.PENANAPGhggEXTWu
464Please respect copyright.PENANA47gWloRAu6
464Please respect copyright.PENANAaw6yIDm1Js
「乾脆,去死好了。」464Please respect copyright.PENANAMRhcAAvQFB
464Please respect copyright.PENANAf8EyD67Jv8
464Please respect copyright.PENANArQF9x9fMZR
464Please respect copyright.PENANAvfhzE3KPpb
待續。
ns216.73.216.247da2