尋死的念頭一出現，我就被自己給嚇到了。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKfYvlnxHf2
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlPJUNmY8Xq
「妳瘋了嗎？」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡglryRrSzN7
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW9pX6kMroZ
腦裡出現兩個我，理性的那個正在發飆，狠狠咒罵另一個我。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9nRmmrJ85K
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6riEIfPJX0
而被罵的那個我，只是一個勁兒地哭。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfFD30Vfu15
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmfL0wNLEdd
我覺得自己隨時都會爆炸、衝動行事，便躲進被窩，用厚厚的被子蓋住全身，連頭都包在棉被裡，不讓任何光線進來。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLsiuFbURVM
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdSRBwzHQaM
在充滿二氧化碳的被窩裡，我全身是汗，滿臉淚水。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQNsF8rhsk4
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgdESp3QL4Y
我側身把臉埋進枕頭，把尖叫送進布料與棉花裡。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6k2yy3m7t3
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP6vpZP8MJB
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWSKufP9k4
我往自己的腳下看，有一片草原。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA8QU4zZcn0
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡENEnJaSyQI
面前有一條石頭道路，盡頭是顆大樹。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfc92HygUud
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpo5RjTyLZn
樹下站著一個人，太遠了，我看不清他的臉。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3fv4j0rTy6
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLVa66dFtA
所以我走近，愈走愈近，直到我看清楚他是誰。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2wmmdGzh9J
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrENnfsfom4
站在樹下的人是英傑。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTaKNBiEc9F
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1esfR8Ccyu
我跑向他，勾住他的手。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT0rjVk61y0
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvYwKKGcHxU
他對我笑著，什麼話也沒說。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhercCGkKFi
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmifASWCB0g
我像是要把這些日子以來，所有發生的事情都告訴他，開始滔滔不絕地講。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHW04yvp62f
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgR9S3zgaZg
他陪著我走到我原本站的地方，就停下來。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh0KuoriqxM
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡanmjauZUXa
我還在講，他轉頭看我，伸出手揉了我的頭，就像他每次做的那樣。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyNshI2NtPX
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡthPxBRJvWS
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxvsCwnDaGH
我張開眼睛，才知道自己夢見英傑了。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgWN6k0F5NJ
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwkGH2o1ici
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYNRtYMauDj
我開始懷疑起自己做這個夢的原因。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTaQvF9yHmT
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsqit3oWtRm
是太想念英傑了，還是壓力太大需要出口？508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCncpcYveDY
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2513PrQDSu
或是…他真的怎麼了，才到我夢裡來？508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDcY1XrNeta
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeHqgBHkcRI
我心裡很害怕是後者，但我知道此時的自己無法找到真正的解答。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRQGq3sXodm
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoUm61gPkHz
這個夢緩解了我的情緒，也瞬間恢復了大部分的理智。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZlPzT2Cew0
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIKaewcOaMv
不管是什麼原因，都是英傑救了我。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr6VDpJXmjF
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7gD5hWjxCA
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkkXUh8sPE9
我度過了心中的那個坎，日子雖然沒有改變，但我的心態改變了。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyiBXpFzKS5
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUKFPVnPPwe
「沒錯，都是我選的。所以，我要更努力才行。」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNgoo05lwZT
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtb8NDHKs3w
雖然，從那個時候開始，過了很長一段借貸的日子。人都說救急不救窮，但我很幸運，擁有很多好朋友，如果我開口，他們總是不說二話的就拿錢給我；就算我死愛面子不開口，他們也會一直逼問是不是沒錢用。我拿著跟朋友借來的錢，繳家裡的房租、水電費、瓦斯費…然後在假日另外打零工還錢。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFagx9QkUmi
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOK2tdSP5vJ
高中的最後一個學期，我也差點因為沒能繳出學費而休學（當時已有就學貸款，但沒有考慮，只想著沒錢就去賺錢，別念書好了），但我那班不知該說是兄弟還是恩人的同學，硬是把一疊鈔票交到我手裡，要我慢慢還，要我和他們一起畢業。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf3e9WWA7L4
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5IYPHlbMTV
我沒參加考試，畢業後直接去找了工作。我還清了錢，卻欠了好多人情債。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsTyDFIdjgR
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxGSTQxGnmW
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMq6ElvH3bf
生活條件穩定之後，也談了戀愛，生活圈的人換了幾輪，越來越趨於穩定。
只是在我心底仍有一個空蕩的角落。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD5tzsDjW2Y
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgRrCZpds4H
我還是沒有更換手機號碼，一直抱著小小的希望，508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2EgDOGuG8v
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7D7MntHL9V
可我已在心裡默默地接受「英傑可能已經過世了」的事實。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD3PQlq6o0p
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqC9lPJB0Of
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKfI74h3krC
某天，我的皮夾不知在哪兒掉了，找也找不到。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWbQnvmH7P9
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQa90yKKhPU
我辦了卡片掛失，心裡希望有人撿到皮夾，會願意送還給我。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJLzHDKPLi
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq0Tt1JMRgt
這時，我才想起皮夾裡有英傑的照片，也想起我們說好要另外拍照留存的事。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrYxCpRslMJ
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbNH2Ihjpnw
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvTi9btn4HP
我的皮夾沒回來，英傑唯一的照片也這麼沒了。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡniRyHVt21c
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzde9otIvQK
有時候，我會懷疑自己已經忘記他的長相，便努力回想那段日子，但畫面只是越來越模糊。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxW22NnvZdC
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyQrkwebhNS
一年、兩年、三年，當我漸漸淡忘這段過去的時候，我卻看見他了。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGyg8j0P8ce
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEEGXL2h4bZ
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFTFMK0hllK
在電視裡面。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaD7ewMSZ2i
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwTymWonWx2
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8KEMUjjwHb
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDdgLlcq9S0
待續。
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