尋死的念頭一出現，我就被自己給嚇到了。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpBZBoh6kD9
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLHlPV0x9BM
「妳瘋了嗎？」561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjj9j1tjUMi
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt4I3KHzH1p
腦裡出現兩個我，理性的那個正在發飆，狠狠咒罵另一個我。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5thl6vfhZe
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUjs8KpJrKs
而被罵的那個我，只是一個勁兒地哭。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCgBPiNCgFg
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3WCyjbhbfg
我覺得自己隨時都會爆炸、衝動行事，便躲進被窩，用厚厚的被子蓋住全身，連頭都包在棉被裡，不讓任何光線進來。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyaOKZ4X8n3
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD405WS93xV
在充滿二氧化碳的被窩裡，我全身是汗，滿臉淚水。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLqarwbFUHM
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQFq74LJYVy
我側身把臉埋進枕頭，把尖叫送進布料與棉花裡。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJNWtz3hkak
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdQ1viQ8i30
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdcjKFwbnRq
我往自己的腳下看，有一片草原。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7zYnAaBi04
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYqF1lLKhLt
面前有一條石頭道路，盡頭是顆大樹。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzjzKAGlWo
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWd6jd1mFVR
樹下站著一個人，太遠了，我看不清他的臉。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkTzc7WLtv3
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbqRN34BlPD
所以我走近，愈走愈近，直到我看清楚他是誰。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ZCP8LMDGb
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoYL9HByFGb
站在樹下的人是英傑。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡatGKveE9I4
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhfQUVhtan4
我跑向他，勾住他的手。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZGsVnlWRIw
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMQJGXnc4j4
他對我笑著，什麼話也沒說。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcuFjRPrr80
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmgvEqx6Quk
我像是要把這些日子以來，所有發生的事情都告訴他，開始滔滔不絕地講。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSx9KTSzIiM
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZha62aBHCs
他陪著我走到我原本站的地方，就停下來。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKKvwTjZcps
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoViH5jJThU
我還在講，他轉頭看我，伸出手揉了我的頭，就像他每次做的那樣。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqbXDUjWLlX
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuVRsZ1ZKj7
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCa3SDNYZZR
我張開眼睛，才知道自己夢見英傑了。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ2g5Bepfrf
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNqIk4B0333
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxaREdAFYcy
我開始懷疑起自己做這個夢的原因。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL3xHaMS7Oe
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCiM87P7rW6
是太想念英傑了，還是壓力太大需要出口？561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxZkpdDQhD8
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Kq4IV4Nui
或是…他真的怎麼了，才到我夢裡來？561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgxjiZnByOS
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYDXNo65iKH
我心裡很害怕是後者，但我知道此時的自己無法找到真正的解答。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrOeydxYCxs
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQu7BISBcX3
這個夢緩解了我的情緒，也瞬間恢復了大部分的理智。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlYgWoJIuQy
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6F81AX4FEN
不管是什麼原因，都是英傑救了我。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡycH2EnpfRT
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡebaDa5yTsf
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfvQsDSqcUT
我度過了心中的那個坎，日子雖然沒有改變，但我的心態改變了。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgzxL7cMr5D
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVVUBKpoJeJ
「沒錯，都是我選的。所以，我要更努力才行。」561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqxk0gYlQaB
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZRcIjpLFnZ
雖然，從那個時候開始，過了很長一段借貸的日子。人都說救急不救窮，但我很幸運，擁有很多好朋友，如果我開口，他們總是不說二話的就拿錢給我；就算我死愛面子不開口，他們也會一直逼問是不是沒錢用。我拿著跟朋友借來的錢，繳家裡的房租、水電費、瓦斯費…然後在假日另外打零工還錢。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYs7tAoNlJV
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoOHkae4lOK
高中的最後一個學期，我也差點因為沒能繳出學費而休學（當時已有就學貸款，但沒有考慮，只想著沒錢就去賺錢，別念書好了），但我那班不知該說是兄弟還是恩人的同學，硬是把一疊鈔票交到我手裡，要我慢慢還，要我和他們一起畢業。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5CKQkSpMlr
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcl2qNcIYxy
我沒參加考試，畢業後直接去找了工作。我還清了錢，卻欠了好多人情債。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFM83WVj8Kr
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0fY0K0hnqp
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkcEb8CIqG6
生活條件穩定之後，也談了戀愛，生活圈的人換了幾輪，越來越趨於穩定。
只是在我心底仍有一個空蕩的角落。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡivYPu58cWC
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZVcu3yZ1AO
我還是沒有更換手機號碼，一直抱著小小的希望，561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡad1LNLLWNa
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEIU8IAuJej
可我已在心裡默默地接受「英傑可能已經過世了」的事實。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡppCwwTNcSr
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK3dX5fabwG
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡleaFTlS00C
某天，我的皮夾不知在哪兒掉了，找也找不到。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUJn1n6kRSr
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZUQEvMf2X
我辦了卡片掛失，心裡希望有人撿到皮夾，會願意送還給我。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNgGdIbVeZ4
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbzZq6jVbEo
這時，我才想起皮夾裡有英傑的照片，也想起我們說好要另外拍照留存的事。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzwEIs9dWgC
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAjgkyIIJcQ
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZvD3GzxsZv
我的皮夾沒回來，英傑唯一的照片也這麼沒了。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcxbjgFBoKh
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC7wam3974i
有時候，我會懷疑自己已經忘記他的長相，便努力回想那段日子，但畫面只是越來越模糊。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOvId352NgY
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOoSGJuBUxL
一年、兩年、三年，當我漸漸淡忘這段過去的時候，我卻看見他了。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBBDA6YcBJ4
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN1JJgBtfIi
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJLyLIjkP4g
在電視裡面。561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhfdAyJsQ13
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIjYbbvTKAm
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm1gyfMGmsQ
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi0PAgYvRCZ
待續。
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