尋死的念頭一出現，我就被自己給嚇到了。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzqVq6xUzwN
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjZDZsX3Cje
「妳瘋了嗎？」540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTYOKjEocLb
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1diaz33Y0O
腦裡出現兩個我，理性的那個正在發飆，狠狠咒罵另一個我。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ20cL78UxW
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBiVZqHiViE
而被罵的那個我，只是一個勁兒地哭。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb4niKTHN05
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1nZNWk7Hmz
我覺得自己隨時都會爆炸、衝動行事，便躲進被窩，用厚厚的被子蓋住全身，連頭都包在棉被裡，不讓任何光線進來。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ94Vm9nuDGB
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLnDEBlzbHp
在充滿二氧化碳的被窩裡，我全身是汗，滿臉淚水。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvi0IoYUohl
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGod3uRWP5B
我側身把臉埋進枕頭，把尖叫送進布料與棉花裡。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDIyyxOCF9O
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcD2gYoxcxP
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCkmPClLPmm
我往自己的腳下看，有一片草原。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD0SSevLuWT
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUsFt7Dupfd
面前有一條石頭道路，盡頭是顆大樹。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwTBhm1PZsr
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp9qFAEtrk6
樹下站著一個人，太遠了，我看不清他的臉。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTXZ1HOPnDT
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡslZRB9PCoa
所以我走近，愈走愈近，直到我看清楚他是誰。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFtJHzEm24
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqk8fScKhYl
站在樹下的人是英傑。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡONlbMOqNuh
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkFuoEcUHUl
我跑向他，勾住他的手。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK4mVaQAitj
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfyuX8yQsGm
他對我笑著，什麼話也沒說。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6tFer5MMpC
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJVJS4pNQd7
我像是要把這些日子以來，所有發生的事情都告訴他，開始滔滔不絕地講。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkP4KwCPPJQ
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCi9zKXYGjU
他陪著我走到我原本站的地方，就停下來。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ407qeZIYjK
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpqs3ubSOIm
我還在講，他轉頭看我，伸出手揉了我的頭，就像他每次做的那樣。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGiiDiC89Vg
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwgNhTgarHL
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVh6wUQHGp4
我張開眼睛，才知道自己夢見英傑了。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiu3E1jWvQW
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3t2bHHfFmZ
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMk28JBX2Lz
我開始懷疑起自己做這個夢的原因。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwdG6vsP3F1
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxgIcpofnkF
是太想念英傑了，還是壓力太大需要出口？540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmY7eUCT5t3
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKDgdZJt91Z
或是…他真的怎麼了，才到我夢裡來？540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡELaaWpSePn
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9m00UJK6TY
我心裡很害怕是後者，但我知道此時的自己無法找到真正的解答。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAD261xFhMm
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeS5hNB80s1
這個夢緩解了我的情緒，也瞬間恢復了大部分的理智。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLEUQOPp74i
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZwko40IRCH
不管是什麼原因，都是英傑救了我。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjuMzkAmlGu
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf43Q3TNzNL
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEnvKMsHzB3
我度過了心中的那個坎，日子雖然沒有改變，但我的心態改變了。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ65WBvTvfPW
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE7q9ESDHPG
「沒錯，都是我選的。所以，我要更努力才行。」540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBHyWTeOUL8
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiqKnNJGGBi
雖然，從那個時候開始，過了很長一段借貸的日子。人都說救急不救窮，但我很幸運，擁有很多好朋友，如果我開口，他們總是不說二話的就拿錢給我；就算我死愛面子不開口，他們也會一直逼問是不是沒錢用。我拿著跟朋友借來的錢，繳家裡的房租、水電費、瓦斯費…然後在假日另外打零工還錢。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8p1y1En2iM
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGgkZpxFn8j
高中的最後一個學期，我也差點因為沒能繳出學費而休學（當時已有就學貸款，但沒有考慮，只想著沒錢就去賺錢，別念書好了），但我那班不知該說是兄弟還是恩人的同學，硬是把一疊鈔票交到我手裡，要我慢慢還，要我和他們一起畢業。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfmaXftyzCU
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGJ2W6cT6Wx
我沒參加考試，畢業後直接去找了工作。我還清了錢，卻欠了好多人情債。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2EMosYrT4u
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVgar7eVXVT
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOj5vwP6U24
生活條件穩定之後，也談了戀愛，生活圈的人換了幾輪，越來越趨於穩定。
只是在我心底仍有一個空蕩的角落。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzKFOLPa72W
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0KbFIG2liH
我還是沒有更換手機號碼，一直抱著小小的希望，540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK0ViKlxrcu
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9M7uZjPlYu
可我已在心裡默默地接受「英傑可能已經過世了」的事實。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSYgWdQ3TfO
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmsQKS6tvQp
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4rPVlfXkLP
某天，我的皮夾不知在哪兒掉了，找也找不到。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwjtJNPMgvQ
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvaIZ2UXHZa
我辦了卡片掛失，心裡希望有人撿到皮夾，會願意送還給我。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYkK2njfXAx
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK0PWdQL4Ik
這時，我才想起皮夾裡有英傑的照片，也想起我們說好要另外拍照留存的事。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnRG6ch7iBd
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXwosLLY75E
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK79torwpF7
我的皮夾沒回來，英傑唯一的照片也這麼沒了。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6NtiFNcOev
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0uTCudwKXR
有時候，我會懷疑自己已經忘記他的長相，便努力回想那段日子，但畫面只是越來越模糊。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEQyvgAX9rn
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZLGdDOScAw
一年、兩年、三年，當我漸漸淡忘這段過去的時候，我卻看見他了。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkgU1qv2RCU
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0c7Jm4no1F
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEELSm5OStC
在電視裡面。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBbANSo9e8g
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVlUCOaptLc
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpeFKvYALZR
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHMJcmrD3gA
待續。
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