事情要回到幾個月前。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpen2bNqxc2
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAtR6Zq5n2t
「豺姐，我想跟妳道歉。」418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpg0d7AeyHL
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjpV62dIjcG
聊著聊著，他突然傳來這樣的訊息。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKIpxBX4FHQ
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA3vxaRhBTK
「幹嘛道歉？」418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnZPKmBHjk6
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYd5QNsyLQP
「前一陣子，是不是有人密妳的skype，問妳想不想穿高跟鞋踩他？」418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyndqyBrh1P
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlRknPu5PDb
我想了一下，好像有這麼回事。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUoI3u5zHv7
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmVkdzdfq68
「那個人就是我，但我應該馬上就被妳封鎖了吧？」418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRh8xB5xWd8
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiOv5UPVBhG
「呃，因為skype是個常常會被陌生人亂加的程式，所以看到奇怪的訊息，我都是直接封鎖啊。」418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡax0Z4tcvTk
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9f3KZrQ3v2
「拜託妳現在不要封鎖我。」418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVpRQZ9JCWG
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlGoKEmnYJD
「不會啊，都是朋友了還鎖什麼，不過你是在惡作劇嗎？」418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ7JLgf2uXr
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd3gTIgeiQR
「不是。」418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ05v0PQmxlO
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQGgSPMiUlc
然後，他開始和我說起，他的秘密。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5bVuqvLHSJ
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGnA5U6BF40
作為一個M，又稱「臣服者」（也有人說是「受虐者」，但我不喜歡這個稱呼），加上「戀物」及「戀足」，他從很久以前，就知道自己的喜好及性傾向，但沒有讓人知道，包括以前交的女朋友。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9kihV9zLbd
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhqoXaYP7Wr
看到高跟鞋會興奮，產生被虐的幻想；女孩子只要稍微兇他，他也會心癢，更別說是聽到一些汙辱謾罵的詞彙了，那只會讓他更高興。
在他意識到自己的性傾向時，還是個小孩。他下意識的覺得自己不正常，隨之而來的厭惡自己及沮喪情緒很快吞沒了他。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡctg4C0KoGC
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5faeTeSkli
所以他掩飾、逃避，逼自己過「正常人」的生活及性生活。
直到過了幾年，進入資訊爆炸的時代，Google大神開始顯神威，在網路上發現同好的時候，他才漸漸接受自己。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi6ZUAiHkJY
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjlyOh34ETx
「只是接受了自己，不代表別人肯接受這樣的我。」418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgD1OQdXjvW
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6aTuYiJXRJ
所以他還是持續隱瞞這件事，也許是過於刻意隱瞞，在戀愛的過程中，他反而像個大男人，所交到的女朋友，也都是小女人類型的，這讓他更不可能坦白自己了。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnery19WMdC
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3unXLhXsVy
那天晚上，我幾乎聽完了他到目前為止的人生。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgOgW9E8JiN
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTCaBbkvusm
「壓抑」，若要下個結論，就只有這兩個字。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxBrhJaqQUF
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWnQm0HWCWs
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJA5w9PoyIu
「為什麼告訴我？」
不過是朋友的朋友，一群朋友一起出去過幾次，我真的不認為我們有那麼熟。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnRUkYC5Ek3
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXP2vxgfP0l
「我信任妳。」418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ932wEh90Kf
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbHndwmm62z
「噗，你也太容易相信別人了吧，萬一我是大嘴巴咧。」418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGpWx37IWp
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0XWqaVmjH4
「妳應該不是。」418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhpBQinqxpK
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRDUfDK3QAQ
「這麼有信心？」418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7irYOHfjRf
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8MFEpbNAJ5
「有一次去唱歌，那個誰不是在說某個人的八卦嗎，說她和哪個歌手有一腿，還墮胎怎麼的。」418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBnUwMoNPg0
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlBmjDmbfjz
「嗯？」418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv35Thu3jDc
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwF0Bo3TS9A
「妳本來在跟大家聊天，聊到這個就自己喝起酒來，也不搭話。我記得那個當事者跟妳有過節。」418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfhbaSjpyqk
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaYV9DmQ69l
「是有一些無聊的過節，你怎麼會知道？」418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ54E5gig6mh
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1v6pKF4iug
「因為別人是大嘴巴。可是妳當時什麼都沒說，也不參與話題，所以我信妳。」418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDqz1dlnNRW
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTRuNOJFsvg
竟然被偷偷觀察了啊。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6VX33s7mUD
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvifiL21hZf
「說不定我只是口渴了想喝酒啊。」418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGOEv1MS2jG
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKjRJOjgN5u
「妳是大嘴巴嗎？」418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCdPqsg7ZNz
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQns8ioqLa
「我不是，但你的故事可能會成為我的創作題材。」418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdRsF5ZSgAf
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMld2bRHN0l
「哈哈哈。」418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ4ZzzyP7wv
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwMSm08mgi4
「哈哈。」418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd1jAtfXkeW
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsNU5WOGMRw
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmlja35wUAH
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm13zRkeSbp
他捧著高跟鞋，或許是我的錯覺，他的手彷彿在微微的顫抖。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPO3IQP3pyz
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkBTdEDX6wy
我看著他小心翼翼的，將自己的臉側過，慢慢的貼在鞋頭的鞋面上，一秒，兩秒，三秒，然後離開它，看了看鞋，抬頭，盯著我。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLLSa8mWDsW
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQqGcYwVXHD
他放下高跟鞋，頭低著，對我伸出手。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2cphqQgHgs
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiXNW9kKaWB
我有點緊張，所以動作也很遲鈍。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3T89YAoCs3
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGm5MRlbvXI
把右腳放進他手裡的時候，我意識到自己的雙手緊捏著床沿。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPa5lK341op
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBFS3LIvCWA
他微微抬頭，眼神落在我的腳背上。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsgJ9ytpL9t
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzUDdsTZyno
就像電影裡演的紳士，在女士的手背親吻那樣，他也這麼做了，只是把手換成腳。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFwk6DBioen
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyDvMyAWI2A
他輕輕地吻了我的腳背，就一下子，沒有停留，沒有聲響，我也沒有感到不舒服。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCuXia19Cd4
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡowg1ntFexg
他拿起高跟鞋，從我的腳尖套上，再合上腳跟，確認高跟鞋穿好後，放下我的右腳。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡifXSR8eLfm
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRl0kfIinkm
接著，換左腳。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGqkdxK1qRY
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIGz2eJvLog
因為他的動作一直很溫柔，所以我的緊張感消失了大半。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ69bho3juS3
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTCb1ydK881
同樣的模式（或儀式）結束後，我的雙腳都穿上了高跟鞋，而他恢復了原本的姿勢，低著頭，跪著。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYXJhpuoyR4
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPT5Ku1ZFA6
「頭抬起來。」我說。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdvsKkOuRZ6
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9sLPJMj8Og
命令的語氣。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKrx2dBidrh
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcqIm972zCT
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ6c0CQZhWN
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjELQAMcdn6
待續。418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgx6EXSQYC8
