事情要回到幾個月前。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4IkVv9a9YI
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqLPXdrnSMh
「豺姐，我想跟妳道歉。」396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjMLEMM3DrI
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ36M5qOiwPw
聊著聊著，他突然傳來這樣的訊息。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJToYmy1Gni
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxYcjmRp8ie
「幹嘛道歉？」396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPMIGnGRkIr
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ32cBcZeahh
「前一陣子，是不是有人密妳的skype，問妳想不想穿高跟鞋踩他？」396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlAUo67y9qB
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqdxbhnkOGK
我想了一下，好像有這麼回事。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiz9EwqeqQt
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJkTT63qhKJ
「那個人就是我，但我應該馬上就被妳封鎖了吧？」396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwNNtSk343m
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcikiez8sae
「呃，因為skype是個常常會被陌生人亂加的程式，所以看到奇怪的訊息，我都是直接封鎖啊。」396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWuJHCcIPmT
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCqUtkS9yE9
「拜託妳現在不要封鎖我。」396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6wAuD0gVXB
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpcjF5yS1zn
「不會啊，都是朋友了還鎖什麼，不過你是在惡作劇嗎？」396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjyc47U3v2L
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJjql7IS6e1
「不是。」396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq65wUGzpY1
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbUJExNi4vg
然後，他開始和我說起，他的秘密。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDBNRsGjpfA
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMcy25mg0F6
作為一個M，又稱「臣服者」（也有人說是「受虐者」，但我不喜歡這個稱呼），加上「戀物」及「戀足」，他從很久以前，就知道自己的喜好及性傾向，但沒有讓人知道，包括以前交的女朋友。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKzMVuPD80o
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS7vDBulWDC
看到高跟鞋會興奮，產生被虐的幻想；女孩子只要稍微兇他，他也會心癢，更別說是聽到一些汙辱謾罵的詞彙了，那只會讓他更高興。
在他意識到自己的性傾向時，還是個小孩。他下意識的覺得自己不正常，隨之而來的厭惡自己及沮喪情緒很快吞沒了他。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBu0uwG0hK2
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo14gGn5GMd
所以他掩飾、逃避，逼自己過「正常人」的生活及性生活。
直到過了幾年，進入資訊爆炸的時代，Google大神開始顯神威，在網路上發現同好的時候，他才漸漸接受自己。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGr8eAWAHR9
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOTCVdermQZ
「只是接受了自己，不代表別人肯接受這樣的我。」396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8hq2jMMxv2
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTzi8oRC6Ry
所以他還是持續隱瞞這件事，也許是過於刻意隱瞞，在戀愛的過程中，他反而像個大男人，所交到的女朋友，也都是小女人類型的，這讓他更不可能坦白自己了。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡntRmTNdNJ7
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTzMf0LD85A
那天晚上，我幾乎聽完了他到目前為止的人生。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZjx3Nl3teJ
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlrk5wlx3MO
「壓抑」，若要下個結論，就只有這兩個字。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvmh2HpLVES
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡybiCdysB7s
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBZa3CTiimo
「為什麼告訴我？」
不過是朋友的朋友，一群朋友一起出去過幾次，我真的不認為我們有那麼熟。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWT6yNppHlz
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhKXbuS4AJj
「我信任妳。」396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXpzEAF78j2
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ36UrUzPTCD
「噗，你也太容易相信別人了吧，萬一我是大嘴巴咧。」396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ39bLeXDIil
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsG38zpOuTx
「妳應該不是。」396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxlWlAjNTJN
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxGoiQZNpZU
「這麼有信心？」396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiyky4fYDAw
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv5Uv2T2T7S
「有一次去唱歌，那個誰不是在說某個人的八卦嗎，說她和哪個歌手有一腿，還墮胎怎麼的。」396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc52HWpXhX8
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqnrIGFw8Qo
「嗯？」396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgeOWhHg9Io
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwysHuPA7IF
「妳本來在跟大家聊天，聊到這個就自己喝起酒來，也不搭話。我記得那個當事者跟妳有過節。」396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJYSU8LfCBb
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhAxUnIPgLa
「是有一些無聊的過節，你怎麼會知道？」396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYi9bCz0r6Z
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPezACOyx0R
「因為別人是大嘴巴。可是妳當時什麼都沒說，也不參與話題，所以我信妳。」396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXXn29tysus
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBVtr5d2Zm6
竟然被偷偷觀察了啊。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm89xBYDtvD
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoNtQl37QtA
「說不定我只是口渴了想喝酒啊。」396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQzzXSxLiY7
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ClOGy8D4B
「妳是大嘴巴嗎？」396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSqXPQwC2u9
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqJ1FJExrlm
「我不是，但你的故事可能會成為我的創作題材。」396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA7fKyHZqQ8
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjQokqOxonR
「哈哈哈。」396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhq5AX1NWiF
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaDlnfhGivh
「哈哈。」396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ58Ga8feT3s
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKCoWNUKRsu
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrUbCXL54C0
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4PK1LAKqUb
他捧著高跟鞋，或許是我的錯覺，他的手彷彿在微微的顫抖。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa7056NBQ9c
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxKIPe1Zg8s
我看著他小心翼翼的，將自己的臉側過，慢慢的貼在鞋頭的鞋面上，一秒，兩秒，三秒，然後離開它，看了看鞋，抬頭，盯著我。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWI8mkpFAMI
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2fPInNLOXY
他放下高跟鞋，頭低著，對我伸出手。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKdTCF4xMOf
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwFbjYgWN8r
我有點緊張，所以動作也很遲鈍。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUew9x9gLvR
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1bO65Mezk9
把右腳放進他手裡的時候，我意識到自己的雙手緊捏著床沿。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6COEIw6qFS
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYk3AqI07I6
他微微抬頭，眼神落在我的腳背上。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0hLkihcybO
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJhrdgSTqCE
就像電影裡演的紳士，在女士的手背親吻那樣，他也這麼做了，只是把手換成腳。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdSozE28Ipx
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡesEYCYO6oq
他輕輕地吻了我的腳背，就一下子，沒有停留，沒有聲響，我也沒有感到不舒服。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡROJiixIZDk
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBvNzcsjnX
他拿起高跟鞋，從我的腳尖套上，再合上腳跟，確認高跟鞋穿好後，放下我的右腳。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEUzwEoxNcU
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWQxuN5tUzD
接著，換左腳。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQm4NZgfAs
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbHOk4lK9xB
因為他的動作一直很溫柔，所以我的緊張感消失了大半。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Oro5c3ZjX
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD2OXdMbjsp
同樣的模式（或儀式）結束後，我的雙腳都穿上了高跟鞋，而他恢復了原本的姿勢，低著頭，跪著。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSU1DE6l17k
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHpLBHmiHKv
「頭抬起來。」我說。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzzIE4YKCSw
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZ4dmWqQia
命令的語氣。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0DQugk8WsN
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn1yaXCoXXs
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaymdXzwEm2
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCYngKMNwLn
待續。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd0UJk1fcth
