事情要回到幾個月前。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYcxekJvBtX
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl5xfRoB05e
「豺姐，我想跟妳道歉。」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkontjQOV4z
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw6ZngYfR4u
聊著聊著，他突然傳來這樣的訊息。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLQcgriIl8a
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFXYi6Ld9d9
「幹嘛道歉？」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJN1iV5N8gH
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlH6UsSmKgM
「前一陣子，是不是有人密妳的skype，問妳想不想穿高跟鞋踩他？」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb4TG67IcXM
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjSlxjkcUV2
我想了一下，好像有這麼回事。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHDmL1KmGMb
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK2dtdFRXIS
「那個人就是我，但我應該馬上就被妳封鎖了吧？」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ0Uf84wcEo
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxubfmgvoxw
「呃，因為skype是個常常會被陌生人亂加的程式，所以看到奇怪的訊息，我都是直接封鎖啊。」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVAPssDrLRp
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXub6HBf3Gj
「拜託妳現在不要封鎖我。」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPdCAUHzVuA
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqkAiPo2Hp3
「不會啊，都是朋友了還鎖什麼，不過你是在惡作劇嗎？」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5jFNgyxNCy
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ErHt8Mjwt
「不是。」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6OlXtb0kwH
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJqaoTepUhI
然後，他開始和我說起，他的秘密。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYE7VzhQRUq
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTOqmlYnoR9
作為一個M，又稱「臣服者」（也有人說是「受虐者」，但我不喜歡這個稱呼），加上「戀物」及「戀足」，他從很久以前，就知道自己的喜好及性傾向，但沒有讓人知道，包括以前交的女朋友。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqHmF18UhCe
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRmordODCAL
看到高跟鞋會興奮，產生被虐的幻想；女孩子只要稍微兇他，他也會心癢，更別說是聽到一些汙辱謾罵的詞彙了，那只會讓他更高興。
在他意識到自己的性傾向時，還是個小孩。他下意識的覺得自己不正常，隨之而來的厭惡自己及沮喪情緒很快吞沒了他。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAoO0x9zqsw
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEWg6CLrJ1k
所以他掩飾、逃避，逼自己過「正常人」的生活及性生活。
直到過了幾年，進入資訊爆炸的時代，Google大神開始顯神威，在網路上發現同好的時候，他才漸漸接受自己。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuPpyPrZdO4
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWpSxqzzb4m
「只是接受了自己，不代表別人肯接受這樣的我。」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMWuU3x6oiI
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6FTOL3pGto
所以他還是持續隱瞞這件事，也許是過於刻意隱瞞，在戀愛的過程中，他反而像個大男人，所交到的女朋友，也都是小女人類型的，這讓他更不可能坦白自己了。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDl0lG2ZchW
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkZwiVDpkRX
那天晚上，我幾乎聽完了他到目前為止的人生。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeMlJX317of
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNAam1gfOzb
「壓抑」，若要下個結論，就只有這兩個字。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV2UcAK8Nwa
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwnJHb5nAG6
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxzAnvbmHEL
「為什麼告訴我？」
不過是朋友的朋友，一群朋友一起出去過幾次，我真的不認為我們有那麼熟。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡatU6wb0Ncd
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaVSAzanT2c
「我信任妳。」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT2gMvENb8M
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZro6clJLWm
「噗，你也太容易相信別人了吧，萬一我是大嘴巴咧。」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdmxb1RM9O5
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNYx01ejfOV
「妳應該不是。」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjBForn14Aq
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyH1HuyfdtI
「這麼有信心？」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMqhMqqvPRp
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmLMs5jqcze
「有一次去唱歌，那個誰不是在說某個人的八卦嗎，說她和哪個歌手有一腿，還墮胎怎麼的。」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44Kze0CVP6
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwktNyDv8Mv
「嗯？」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg66gqRVCi4
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6CU2rvBnqj
「妳本來在跟大家聊天，聊到這個就自己喝起酒來，也不搭話。我記得那個當事者跟妳有過節。」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB1pN6bYcD7
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLsHTO7phz9
「是有一些無聊的過節，你怎麼會知道？」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY1J1WPywxY
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlL9n6doISg
「因為別人是大嘴巴。可是妳當時什麼都沒說，也不參與話題，所以我信妳。」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWeHL1RscFx
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡagZyJyEbHJ
竟然被偷偷觀察了啊。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl4qZiwhqzj
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzh9prPqV1n
「說不定我只是口渴了想喝酒啊。」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGaeDhJntHR
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAegBXEIivM
「妳是大嘴巴嗎？」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ853iEvcAWK
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSJkGWxgH80
「我不是，但你的故事可能會成為我的創作題材。」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTafcN6PFnd
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4HaOsTTI6D
「哈哈哈。」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwJYgH3Atpw
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIkhalAYBCW
「哈哈。」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFD5y6jgcZ2
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJNZjtxWks1
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Ht6S47bZC
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgkQZ7Yap7b
他捧著高跟鞋，或許是我的錯覺，他的手彷彿在微微的顫抖。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNRwjZBS92A
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxxI6WI4po7
我看著他小心翼翼的，將自己的臉側過，慢慢的貼在鞋頭的鞋面上，一秒，兩秒，三秒，然後離開它，看了看鞋，抬頭，盯著我。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUUvt4RQv22
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdVqz3lPugY
他放下高跟鞋，頭低著，對我伸出手。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlBnsJJtF9Q
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1dCYAkfLfK
我有點緊張，所以動作也很遲鈍。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBCYGoeYpvH
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJo56D6uMyz
把右腳放進他手裡的時候，我意識到自己的雙手緊捏著床沿。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSrCGiXSP54
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJKn7Be2euP
他微微抬頭，眼神落在我的腳背上。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO3WEw33eEc
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcYk1BoZMl6
就像電影裡演的紳士，在女士的手背親吻那樣，他也這麼做了，只是把手換成腳。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkrlMMup1F6
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Z4AeDA0nk
他輕輕地吻了我的腳背，就一下子，沒有停留，沒有聲響，我也沒有感到不舒服。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdaHTQNSfaD
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ21oeX1k9Sx
他拿起高跟鞋，從我的腳尖套上，再合上腳跟，確認高跟鞋穿好後，放下我的右腳。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkI0id00Pq9
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7hL8k6G43v
接著，換左腳。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfrndlfLV9L
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJpC704Wea
因為他的動作一直很溫柔，所以我的緊張感消失了大半。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡivnEZhSyqt
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF7267h8MDc
同樣的模式（或儀式）結束後，我的雙腳都穿上了高跟鞋，而他恢復了原本的姿勢，低著頭，跪著。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfkqjKw8WZT
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ85CjydWf6M
「頭抬起來。」我說。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpqdlXZkD2C
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRXIkJnp2WJ
命令的語氣。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhC3x2TaZ0m
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVXeAzCmTG5
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCrNW5gl4b8
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhIfikEuTc9
待續。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkJUN0WbOaF
