日子還是這樣在過，學校裡的夥伴不時耳提面命「大考將近，獎學金不能拱手讓人」的事，我知道他是逼著我轉移注意力，也就順著他的意，認真上班、認真上課、認真睡覺，好像我換了個叫「課本」的男友，天天與它相伴，沒見著它的時間，都在夢鄉。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBq5i8IZ9g9
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1fQxOfuGJ0
但，無論怎麼讓自己逃開，總有那幾個瞬間，會被回憶淹沒，尤其是，酸楚的回憶。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhSLhad561O
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiKHFEacYWX
我把自己關在家幾個禮拜，直到被朋友挖出門。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLfLhhnZ3jl
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN4skfceK5E
坐上朋友的車，也不是很在乎要去哪裡，明明身邊有人，但全世界好像剩下自己。
也許這些，都是失去愛情的症狀。
可笑的是我連自己是否曾經「擁有」愛情都不確定。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWzMyHjNXu6
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3uEQ1BdKjF
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX5fnXM0jLA
朋友載我到熟悉的山上，我以為他是要去山頂的土地公廟拜拜。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLOVwywgngr
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ86V1dXda4S
「妳最近不是很愛爬山嗎？帶妳來山上走走啊。」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIHpVbaLtp5
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe21GhuTLf6
「……喔…」
我心裡一沉。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0MIC3c2Yv3
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqUhhRBknw9
他不知道我為什麼開始爬山，我又怎麼能怪他呢？539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQVEj26UBQl
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVTPF95bJt9
我們延著樓梯，爬到了山頂的土地公廟，便隨意照找了個地方坐下，那是山頂的展望區。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkHl0tWSD9h
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWUBNGiGflR
「那是什麼山啊？」
我指著橫過城市、遠處一座被雲海包圍的山。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡryxJnLfwE7
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwuHqP0u3aB
「我哪知道。」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl0Fjg6cKLa
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡILjjeTt3ih
「……說的也是。」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLi5Ago74j2
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJk0bKrM8Tt
我才發現自己的愚蠢。
那是我和張先生一同爬山時，我很常說的話。
他總是像個「山的萬事通」，有問必答，即使在我看來那些山都長得一個模樣，他仍能數家珍般地，念出它們的名。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ89FNDIMb86
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJqvBexnBLr
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnop2Lhhzoy
黑兔子找我去唱歌，在包廂裡和另一個女生朋友故意想弄哭我，不停點悲傷的歌來唱，一開始我只是笑，笑她們無聊。
直到某首歌的歌詞刺進我的心裡，痛了那麼一下，我哭了，就停不下來。
兩個女生見我掉淚，居然也跟著哭了，還哭得比我悽慘。最後我還得幫她們擦眼淚。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWjovAnfRqN
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWucf79i8JU
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡksbIS1guOf
我很努力要自己不去怨懟、不去記恨，但總對自己被欺騙一事糾結，同時也怪自己不夠聰明、不夠謹慎。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgoyMNiW53N
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡep4kOBOkYc
無法灑脫。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgxN7TGnT1P
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq9GYThtRTt
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw0sZwZHueS
我還是持續的爬山，但不明白自己是因為什麼而爬。
我害怕自己是為了不忘記他，所以更不敢面對這個問題。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2zuQDCXotZ
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFMbS5BNfZZ
直到某次，母親找我一同去爬山。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcpBNvQTaFL
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡglMKUYfSrI
那是一座有著神話故事點綴的郊山，山上的涼亭裡還用木板刻著傳說。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJ5ngEHSHl
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2hOLSmLdlh
「這是我和妳爸爸第一次約會的地方。」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ4NudVODPF
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ4XTXAuMZx
母親突然提起父親，自他們離異後，母親甚少和我聊父親的事。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZ9dhO9MAp
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWCChx0DNoq
「我喜歡運動，妳爸爸不愛。我喜歡在舞池跳舞，他只想坐在沙發聊天。妳爸爸體能好，明明是蛙人，運動神經好，私底下卻懶惰得要命。」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQcODslU5eZ
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC1lFNViuXm
「但這是我們第一次約會的地方。」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoFfhENAn0w
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAiYWOogUpf
我不知道母親為什麼突然說這些。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkAz9sUc68l
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcsJi6s0NGD
「妳和那個來過家裡的先生，應該沒有再聯絡了吧？」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWtwnE0bn07
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMuXKiVawtb
「沒有了。」我立刻回答。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv1tT9b18h5
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIEJlMJdUn5
「妳一開始喜歡上爬山，是因為他嗎？」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEbIFJVwsHt
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOYfUUB38f3
「嗯。」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCWX3i7SPLQ
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwZAKwcbybZ
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfmxMcnuqLs
「那他留給妳的影響，就夠了。」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvzLvLtBFKp
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTz77YBNoKD
我還不明白。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYFI4UcrSnZ
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFtjICcjMXj
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6WsbPQHyE4
「妳本來就喜歡小動物、小昆蟲，剛剛一路上來妳都在跟我介紹那些蜘蛛蝸牛，山區就是讓妳更親近牠們的地方，妳這段路爬上來有想到那個男人嗎？」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqaEa1xxtCx
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡznUD7bTaTX
「……沒有。」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNjtFsavtvV
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaBBc9b9GdY
「那妳還介意是誰啟發妳喜歡爬山嗎？」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBJLG01BGfp
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCZ4vnIxo9h
我盯著她，努力消化她的話語。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaqJQiCzEVu
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaIKybwF4SU
「不管事情是怎麼開始的，只要最後有好的地方值得妳保留就好了。」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡam0EoaM95b
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ52dRSAQ9He
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2onnA6xXb9
「妳沒必要忘記。」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0PHIrDE3cC
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeOYbC9FdnU
我的眼淚差一點就奪眶而出。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Y8JXgjV5u
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡytyQ1J7YAN
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxjpQkiwbx5
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3QKIg0uyjW
後來。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrPJV0qugXS
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAlu5TkDgbf
學期順利結束，我依然拿到系上的獎學金。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhUj20der2V
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAcOjbHLOrR
真正了解我的家人朋友，都沒有怪我隱瞞他們，我以為會面對很多責怪，卻意外收到過多的心疼。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2FwA7aFDiZ
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzHotYyCyjX
我去爬了更多的山，也因為山結交了更多新朋友，也間接因為爬山認識了現在的男朋友。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1TsPAKboDI
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqOZkkHXSsk
在之後我曾和幾個好友在居酒屋裡，酒酣耳熱之際說完了整個故事，朋友們聽到我查證的過程，開玩笑的說「妳怎麼不去徵信社上班啊！」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWBY1Oo1AoJ
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz2xNk6MKec
而我真的在因緣際會下踏入了徵信業。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYC57l6ZYcP
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKj0TuOOf5F
看到了更多更多事例，才知道感情的故事，真的都是一個套路，所以我們總覺得「這首歌在寫我」，「這個故事在說我」…因為我們的感情路，好好壞壞，都差不多會是那個樣子。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfPCOCRRvXP
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR2yaQ6CcHN
我沒有繼續怨恨他，但也沒有原諒他，我只是原諒自己。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEEOqCMUpD3
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY602bxHI6j
在寫這篇之前，我偷偷地搜尋了他的名字，發現他們有了個可愛的女兒。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNCdzLvFcT7
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ29n2pAxPEt
「希望你專心愛她們。」我發自內心的想。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhDait6NVKv
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLDH5IZvz4V
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8uEDF3Qaf
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPDVL5Pkk9B
完。
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