等我能見到他時,又過了一個月。567Please respect copyright.PENANAGqkWATosU3
567Please respect copyright.PENANAyvC9BalwjQ
深呼吸了好幾口氣,練習了幾次微笑,我才踏進病房。567Please respect copyright.PENANA9bAPGXgBPs
567Please respect copyright.PENANAeT5RwrpkZq
他盯著我走近,待我在床前站定,見我微微一笑,他便咧開嘴笑了。567Please respect copyright.PENANA5XO6VBIYjD
567Please respect copyright.PENANAnB3tHozS0c
「我妹怎麼變這麼漂亮啦?」567Please respect copyright.PENANAu1kO2xRHGT
567Please respect copyright.PENANAsrHTGHMW8s
我沒理會他的玩笑,只是看著臉色蒼白的他,當下覺得自己的微笑只是一道不讓自己哭出來的防線。567Please respect copyright.PENANAf9Zx3WNDTp
567Please respect copyright.PENANAz8a0vw2Kev
我查過他的病,既然已到末期,治癒機率已經極低,幾乎是零。也知道他會長期處在各種疼痛裡。567Please respect copyright.PENANATO1LtyKXBf
567Please respect copyright.PENANAUFzvNgW85Z
所以我無法開口問他還好嗎,也沒辦法要他振作,更不能祝福他康復。567Please respect copyright.PENANAweb9DAoWQ0
567Please respect copyright.PENANAnpt0fudMUA
只是他仍然對著我笑,笑得那麼真。567Please respect copyright.PENANAKICVT6Wkc7
567Please respect copyright.PENANAyI4bNUBf6R
「幹嘛傻在那裡,過來這邊坐啊。」他指指床邊的椅子。567Please respect copyright.PENANAgbmHxzlM8P
567Please respect copyright.PENANA4glOCa8zcA
我走過去,把椅子拉近病床,坐下。567Please respect copyright.PENANAbQNw7lYNPp
567Please respect copyright.PENANABvI6E1HFKN
我們幾乎是同時伸出雙手的。567Please respect copyright.PENANAMrPM1VkxET
567Please respect copyright.PENANASfq9A4NvUN
碰到他的手時,我的鼻子就酸了,眼睛也模糊了。567Please respect copyright.PENANAdwUQAMj60R
567Please respect copyright.PENANASRfZk01g3L
「不是答應我不哭了嗎?」那句話有著溫柔的指責。567Please respect copyright.PENANA7NXW5NI3qB
567Please respect copyright.PENANAqWYers2ojZ
567Please respect copyright.PENANAjxbUCi9WwI
「現在有沒有哪裡會痛…?」我開口問。567Please respect copyright.PENANAEoZJOd7S2m
567Please respect copyright.PENANALiXcEQjNy1
「每天都在痛啊,肚子也痛、頭也痛,骨頭也都會痛…」567Please respect copyright.PENANAM7qeGaRvg0
567Please respect copyright.PENANAw2vN943Woi
他數家珍地說出,而我的眉頭也因此糾結。567Please respect copyright.PENANATOdnhdWBN0
567Please respect copyright.PENANAgexCb5dN5d
「現在不痛啦,看到妳都不痛啦。」見我皺眉,他胡亂地撒謊。567Please respect copyright.PENANAmBaHytml9N
567Please respect copyright.PENANA7is07VgGjU
我揉著他的手,好像有很多話要說,但又覺得沒什麼好說。567Please respect copyright.PENANAwCeQ0XShVw
567Please respect copyright.PENANAk11ywQQIpY
「爸…妳爸爸,有說什麼嗎?他知道嗎?」567Please respect copyright.PENANA2OUtKrC6d2
567Please respect copyright.PENANAHJX4XpCPnh
我愣了一下,沒想到他會問這個問題。567Please respect copyright.PENANAPafkRBV5bu
567Please respect copyright.PENANAdnH2ngMNXs
「他應該知道,但他沒跟我說什麼…」567Please respect copyright.PENANA5IRjgqvZxN
567Please respect copyright.PENANAtYnEBa9bPd
「是嗎…我想也是啦。問問而已,妳不要多想。」567Please respect copyright.PENANA2PAWG0UYHX
567Please respect copyright.PENANADBNl7zDmaO
那一瞬間,我覺得父親的無情是無法被原諒的。567Please respect copyright.PENANAIkHHLntvHn
567Please respect copyright.PENANA9RklMjuv7v
567Please respect copyright.PENANAMZH36lxcKk
我拿出那晚編好的手繩,放到他手裡。567Please respect copyright.PENANAJmQEFuICL5
567Please respect copyright.PENANAnhVZ7t7UGm
「這是新編的。」567Please respect copyright.PENANAHxFVql3uKB
567Please respect copyright.PENANA3kGoe3cW2w
他看了看手繩,又看看我。567Please respect copyright.PENANAb6mdBN9hHG
567Please respect copyright.PENANA0eebMx66VY
「妳幫我拿櫃子裡的皮夾出來。」567Please respect copyright.PENANAoekxlBZjvy
567Please respect copyright.PENANA10qUa117OU
我把皮夾遞給他,他從皮夾裡拿出了…好幾年前的那條幸運手繩。567Please respect copyright.PENANAJPkAjxcDmU
567Please respect copyright.PENANAbs2bXCxLnA
白色的線都變成灰色,已經髒髒的了,他拿出來時還是小心翼翼。567Please respect copyright.PENANAmeO4UFXVFL
567Please respect copyright.PENANANt5VpwE2OH
「妳看。」他得意。567Please respect copyright.PENANAfKNSk64iSe
567Please respect copyright.PENANA8ZmInNSqFD
「虧你能留那麼久,我之前皮包掉了,你的照片也搞丟了…」567Please respect copyright.PENANAKoTr22dJmg
567Please respect copyright.PENANAwQ0qy7q1mp
「幫我戴新的在手上。」他說。567Please respect copyright.PENANAC7G7TzCVa6
567Please respect copyright.PENANABecsWg0M63
我一邊把手繩綁上他變得好細的手腕,一邊說著…567Please respect copyright.PENANAyiLLENPKeP
567Please respect copyright.PENANAfg0qlTwE84
「我們以前還說要一起合照,但都沒有做到…」567Please respect copyright.PENANAnG7JvpnjJN
567Please respect copyright.PENANAl5FONLHJ5n
「現在拍。」567Please respect copyright.PENANAR2omqMSxBl
567Please respect copyright.PENANAV5MWEowKlw
「啊?」567Please respect copyright.PENANAISkVnwODHR
567Please respect copyright.PENANAeBE6ZCpcUP
「現在就拍啊,妳手機有照相功能吧?」567Please respect copyright.PENANA0eUQUYGACt
567Please respect copyright.PENANAQiDz5DBzXK
「有。」我拿出手機,翻開摺疊螢幕,開啟相機功能。567Please respect copyright.PENANA6gNYNIWfnS
567Please respect copyright.PENANABczdChgtip
「等一下等一下。」他伸手拿了旁邊的眼鏡戴上。567Please respect copyright.PENANAyYxd5RcAKr
567Please respect copyright.PENANAYL0FP742m0
「我這樣看起來比較不像流氓吧?」他又在笑。567Please respect copyright.PENANAUnlTjHWU5M
567Please respect copyright.PENANAPkPHxCnhRP
我笑了,起身貼近床,把頭靠在他臉旁,拿著手機對著我們倆的大頭拍了一張照片。567Please respect copyright.PENANAj8X2HrXKRs
567Please respect copyright.PENANAW37IAVmGl3
567Please respect copyright.PENANAizo7s7KGTq
我坐回椅子上,有那麼一段時間,我們都沒有看著彼此,也沒有說話。567Please respect copyright.PENANAO0Hi7gUvgO
567Please respect copyright.PENANAkgcHNiChhY
「我離婚了。」英傑突然說。
「我被抓後,妳嫂子自己提的。」
「簽字是一定要簽的,拖著她也不對。」567Please respect copyright.PENANAr5lCfEUTzg
567Please respect copyright.PENANApHZSN8bwzW
我想起那個沒有喊過他「爸爸」的兒子,但我沒有勇氣開口問。567Please respect copyright.PENANAZ5DqMzWXQN
567Please respect copyright.PENANAsO0TULxJy1
567Please respect copyright.PENANAsbLQ48kYEf
「妳還有在寫小說嗎?」567Please respect copyright.PENANAoJWdPwEWbu
567Please respect copyright.PENANA9H8qzTPJ8F
「…有寫一些小故事。」567Please respect copyright.PENANAwXj7y9kHWf
567Please respect copyright.PENANAeCH2Kzc4Q0
「那就好,不要隨便放棄喔。」567Please respect copyright.PENANAgwBHgj7JhH
567Please respect copyright.PENANA51h95b48Vv
「嗯。我好久沒看到你寫的詩了。」567Please respect copyright.PENANA0WJ8T45OKY
567Please respect copyright.PENANATeqDYgNDsU
「我太久沒寫字啦…字已經不漂亮,腦子也沒東西了。」567Please respect copyright.PENANAlXjt4Dhhlz
567Please respect copyright.PENANAEdGoz2WnpO
「不會啦,字跡不會隨便改變的。」情感也是。567Please respect copyright.PENANALkytc4Imlr
567Please respect copyright.PENANADRHcyIscK0
「妹。」567Please respect copyright.PENANAFuNdY7p66k
567Please respect copyright.PENANAwblKkQbKbM
「嗯?」567Please respect copyright.PENANADO5b0ulAQv
567Please respect copyright.PENANAfgcHhtc6Qi
「人真的要走到末路的時候,才知道只有家人會無條件的陪在身邊。」
「所以妳一定要好好珍惜家人,不要交壞朋友,也不要太相信外面的人。」
「也不要抽菸、喝太多酒…」
「如果可以,就回去念書,這個社會還是很看學歷…」567Please respect copyright.PENANAlmnFv0CYHv
567Please respect copyright.PENANAZCio8Ewue2
我突然意識到他正在做什麼。567Please respect copyright.PENANABv3mWbmj92
567Please respect copyright.PENANAGqGQ2M6FQT
像是交代後事般的叮嚀,我聽在耳裡,痛在心裡,但我不能阻止他這麼做。567Please respect copyright.PENANAhLXdRdomrb
567Please respect copyright.PENANA4pukpCBE2o
因為我甚至不知道還有沒有下一次見他的機會。567Please respect copyright.PENANAjVZWo3eRAs
567Please respect copyright.PENANAbo1vpGiUG7
567Please respect copyright.PENANAv3TKNRgAOa
那天我在醫院陪他直到晚上才離開,他始終笑著,在我面前不表現出痛苦或難過。567Please respect copyright.PENANAObBNmtrsdZ
567Please respect copyright.PENANAfoQrFQj9X7
他也答應讓我再去看他,只是要先跟他聯絡。567Please respect copyright.PENANABHfOvWGg8O
567Please respect copyright.PENANAcRZbGKLng9
「我媽有點介意,所以不希望妳們碰到面。」567Please respect copyright.PENANAd8ecR2bMOP
567Please respect copyright.PENANAsMsuTEx3mb
爾後我又見了他兩次,其中一次他告訴我,他信了主耶穌。567Please respect copyright.PENANAJgsgleD9yI
567Please respect copyright.PENANAlwM6GLGoms
我知道是身體病痛的折磨,讓他尋求精神上的慰藉。他親自寫了信給教會的小孩子,用自己的經歷告誡孩子們勿入歧途。567Please respect copyright.PENANAvYoBXqOyxC
567Please respect copyright.PENANA3HfKuzhqLd
我知道他害怕,知道他尋求救贖。567Please respect copyright.PENANArdQ5IPyO1K
567Please respect copyright.PENANAcq0xVExDQ5
我知道他就算把地獄或罪人掛在嘴邊,仍是害怕受苦的。567Please respect copyright.PENANAMBLWj2ARwS
567Please respect copyright.PENANAxX6YpRf5ej
我知道他也許到了這一刻才開始後悔。567Please respect copyright.PENANAgfJIizMYFk
567Please respect copyright.PENANAAAXd7dJEtE
但我是欣慰的。567Please respect copyright.PENANAU6aqs4B0cO
567Please respect copyright.PENANAPRU5633fAU
567Please respect copyright.PENANA4N5qfBXIrV
567Please respect copyright.PENANATgpnYjGl2n
那一天來的又快又急。567Please respect copyright.PENANAwT0zgpBUzU
567Please respect copyright.PENANAEXeODGfMcJ
「妹…」567Please respect copyright.PENANAohvOniL5j7
567Please respect copyright.PENANAcSxxd4XMXk
我接起電話,只聽到英傑喊了我,然後是沉重的喘息與啜泣。567Please respect copyright.PENANAVH5okU7z4m
567Please respect copyright.PENANA2sneQL54bv
「你怎麼了?怎麼了?」567Please respect copyright.PENANA5bBO0r1qga
567Please respect copyright.PENANApLPeGy23ps
還拿著手機和他說話,我已經起身準備出門去醫院。567Please respect copyright.PENANAhC1Zp0lEry
567Please respect copyright.PENANA6APs0xeEEl
「我還不想死…」他哭著說。567Please respect copyright.PENANAt0K0R0vIYP
567Please respect copyright.PENANAZV24S2JTZ7
那句話狠狠地撕裂了我的胸口。567Please respect copyright.PENANAs5T77bKPvp
567Please respect copyright.PENANABgwO29WZUt
567Please respect copyright.PENANAgDAeDWhvKR
我跑進病房,英傑似乎剛剛才穩定下來,吊著點滴、眼眶泛紅、面容消瘦,也比上次更加蒼白、手臂上都是青色與紫色的瘀青。567Please respect copyright.PENANA5cUsX4SqOu
567Please respect copyright.PENANAiELEl5Ddy6
他的母親與姐姐看見我,臉色明顯地不自在。567Please respect copyright.PENANA1h1KxSVr1G
567Please respect copyright.PENANAeAUYJ58BL4
英傑打那通電話給我的時候,她們是不是也在呢?567Please respect copyright.PENANAkU3vUQgRNs
567Please respect copyright.PENANAMnYl84uOBs
她們小聲地和英傑說了幾句話,就走出病房,留給我和他說話的空間。567Please respect copyright.PENANAj13q82XDzp
567Please respect copyright.PENANADomKUBaswP
567Please respect copyright.PENANAPArZTqLPzS
我坐到上次的位置,握住他的手。567Please respect copyright.PENANAsST5fYfLIb
567Please respect copyright.PENANAbR3ZzBuOdK
那雙手已又更瘦更冰冷了。567Please respect copyright.PENANAkXHJlt76DT
567Please respect copyright.PENANAKPS9ndifSy
「我真的,還不想死。」567Please respect copyright.PENANAbORCUupaVr
567Please respect copyright.PENANAGZJadg0pC0
我握著他的手出了點力。567Please respect copyright.PENANAHkaKEq3dVP
567Please respect copyright.PENANAVwBeWP3tPC
「我很害怕。」567Please respect copyright.PENANAdTXhr8o3OX
567Please respect copyright.PENANA5EikC4C0VP
「我很怕死…」567Please respect copyright.PENANAGwdmHZQBId
567Please respect copyright.PENANASlElsWDK2Q
他沒看著我,只盯著手。說完,他的眼淚就掉下來。567Please respect copyright.PENANA6XOeUtuqAz
567Please respect copyright.PENANANdCfqDf51o
那是我第一次看見他掉眼淚,也是最後一次。567Please respect copyright.PENANA0DrXXJVyfP
567Please respect copyright.PENANAYKZsBvjduV
「你已經悔改了,你一定會去天堂的。」我已經滿臉淚水,但還是看著他的眼睛說。567Please respect copyright.PENANAv76jxAK0m6
567Please respect copyright.PENANAxpLHyjfwKw
「全身都很痛…」他終於抬頭看我。567Please respect copyright.PENANAWCi02PW61C
567Please respect copyright.PENANAEGBsfNDVi6
我趕緊抽幾張衛生紙擦他的臉,他的雙頰與眼窩都已經凹陷,我的手盡可能地放輕力道,就怕他疼。567Please respect copyright.PENANAG7j3OiQXNs
567Please respect copyright.PENANA6mN9JYt1pS
「你很努力了,我知道你很努力了…」567Please respect copyright.PENANAdZkVHeLW1Y
567Please respect copyright.PENANAdLirqjPdiK
我抱住他,驚覺他已弱不禁風的事實。567Please respect copyright.PENANAGWWDed23UU
567Please respect copyright.PENANA0xIVTmg53F
這讓我倏地停止了自己的眼淚。567Please respect copyright.PENANAFAlu1oXgkc
567Please respect copyright.PENANAIy0nkDEJjw
「沒事的,你的主會帶你離開,之後就不痛苦了。」567Please respect copyright.PENANAVihARCodmJ
567Please respect copyright.PENANAOf0kpW4f2c
英傑在我的臂彎裡哭泣了許久,才安靜下來。567Please respect copyright.PENANAzeMc3N4lBJ
567Please respect copyright.PENANAuJ82zf5s49
567Please respect copyright.PENANAE5qrOMAS5I
「妹。」567Please respect copyright.PENANA9tSNC3VkjE
567Please respect copyright.PENANAcyrY0WLnG7
「嗯?」567Please respect copyright.PENANA33EUW4OkBe
567Please respect copyright.PENANAjGcl5SNChr
「抽屜裡有一封信是給妳的。」567Please respect copyright.PENANAIi1yhSedYy
567Please respect copyright.PENANAbBVHcjMCz0
我打開抽屜,拿起那個信封。567Please respect copyright.PENANAGqG69Pj7G8
567Please respect copyright.PENANAgXtFJfH7M5
「回去再看。」567Please respect copyright.PENANAC8KTdtAkND
567Please respect copyright.PENANApSzQOolDEe
「好。」我收起信。567Please respect copyright.PENANAscFu8z1GKK
567Please respect copyright.PENANAzTlAIECgVD
「妳回去吧。」567Please respect copyright.PENANAda2D3rq9tS
567Please respect copyright.PENANAdSWdPbzONM
「什麼?」567Please respect copyright.PENANAScDkMbwXko
567Please respect copyright.PENANA26JRvLX7jR
「謝謝妳來…可是不要再來了。」567Please respect copyright.PENANA2qDcBgvZIX
567Please respect copyright.PENANAXXM0c2ipm1
「為什麼?」567Please respect copyright.PENANALaDY3uNGeo
567Please respect copyright.PENANAqH8ttrbDCe
「我不想要妳送我離開,妳會很傷心,我也不想要看到妳那麼傷心。」567Please respect copyright.PENANAjJgFMIa7ER
567Please respect copyright.PENANAFdwMZU3FpF
「……」567Please respect copyright.PENANARPE49YmO1N
567Please respect copyright.PENANA64aFZ4FCkE
「回去吧。」567Please respect copyright.PENANAlY7xcvEoli
567Please respect copyright.PENANAfq0cIk1SAf
他看著我,又對我笑了,那個笑看起來很費勁,也是他一直以來對我的溫柔表現。567Please respect copyright.PENANAMNuPkVW7dK
567Please respect copyright.PENANARkJ7e6dQd1
不讓我送他走,也是哥哥對妹妹的溫柔。567Please respect copyright.PENANAHXdbsoJQwF
567Please respect copyright.PENANAAibkIaYiNa
我又抱了抱他才離開。567Please respect copyright.PENANAszfdsAJPIE
567Please respect copyright.PENANAfqcrVWMdZk
567Please respect copyright.PENANAiP2gsZHrxq
當天晚上十點多,我收到他姊姊的簡訊。567Please respect copyright.PENANA6y1o2MfqNe
567Please respect copyright.PENANAlaoLkLzB9q
「英傑已經走了。」567Please respect copyright.PENANAA49VpgknEQ
567Please respect copyright.PENANASyYYZJxU5V
567Please respect copyright.PENANA6OeuMjhsoQ
那一瞬間我向心裡所有知道的神祈求,希望英傑能到更好的地方,希望他不要再受苦了。567Please respect copyright.PENANANf5q0G9e4N
567Please respect copyright.PENANAY1OhCo6XyQ
我打開信封,裡面只有一張書籤大的紙。567Please respect copyright.PENANAEgMfwz6mvB
567Please respect copyright.PENANAnXTWx4WZpK
567Please respect copyright.PENANAWJrcMdtAZy
「Dear 妹:」567Please respect copyright.PENANAEXhzokn9JU
567Please respect copyright.PENANANQxET0PG0a
「妳永遠是我的天使,567Please respect copyright.PENANACw1yArFRlq
567Please respect copyright.PENANAP5LBX9aUML
請不要忘記我。」567Please respect copyright.PENANAhEZEqFIbKW
567Please respect copyright.PENANAXbvQxSJCgy
「哥 英傑」567Please respect copyright.PENANAf69BUn0tH2
567Please respect copyright.PENANA6YLxA8KAMs
567Please respect copyright.PENANAtbRLGR9Pmp
我抱著自己,放任自己哭到睡著。567Please respect copyright.PENANALvCUsYD88U
567Please respect copyright.PENANAwRytEwMBwv
567Please respect copyright.PENANAlOoJVqHAue
567Please respect copyright.PENANAvykPmWNG8b
之後的每一年,我不選在英傑的忌日,而是在他的冥誕當天悼念他。567Please respect copyright.PENANA26JAQDowbA
567Please respect copyright.PENANAhfGx0waSAi
每一年的五月三十,我都會寫一封信,表達我的思念,讓他知道「我沒有忘記他」。567Please respect copyright.PENANAjTqANsAnoD
567Please respect copyright.PENANA58Oea8c7yC
前幾年每到這天,我總是哭,總是放任自己因為想念而哭得泣不成聲。567Please respect copyright.PENANAd2v9V7uGFh
567Please respect copyright.PENANAy3dQvNpoZi
後來的後來,我漸漸不哭了,但沒有改變在這一天寫信的習慣。567Please respect copyright.PENANAg7rxClzTNs
567Please respect copyright.PENANAFS2v2YXkmw
英傑的回憶有時像巨石背在背上,有時像羽毛沾在胸口,無論哪一種,都是無法遺棄。567Please respect copyright.PENANA13jWByZC4W
567Please respect copyright.PENANANpwPBvew7v
他走後,我便不再輕易評論一個人的好與壞。567Please respect copyright.PENANARAfvVmGTNy
567Please respect copyright.PENANAvITdXNEOhJ
曾經我在英傑的新聞底下看見很多網友的謾罵、抨擊甚至是汙辱,我感到憤怒與心痛,想一個一個回應他們「你們什麼都不知道!」567Please respect copyright.PENANAEnngeC0yZq
567Please respect copyright.PENANAB4e4g6OcCj
但我什麼也沒做。567Please respect copyright.PENANAWqY4UQu22b
567Please respect copyright.PENANARgLTUcwN9v
因為那些人不認識他,也永遠不會認識他。567Please respect copyright.PENANAanH9lIucFg
567Please respect copyright.PENANAe1AbfBMTwn
所以我再也不對任何新聞或社會事件做評論。因為我知道,我不認識當事人,更不能體會當事人的親屬心情。567Please respect copyright.PENANA2x6n9kTSnx
567Please respect copyright.PENANA05M4ZLbDGm
我回去念書,考進了大學,年年以取得獎學金為目標,只為不要白學。567Please respect copyright.PENANAcsR07iW2tK
567Please respect copyright.PENANAUV6YsOIsNZ
一直沒有放棄創作,可能也是因為惦記著他說過的話。567Please respect copyright.PENANAj5i6d3kpxH
567Please respect copyright.PENANA7GNqZEsfId
說起遺憾,大概是我喊他「英傑」比喊他「哥哥」的次數要多更多了吧。567Please respect copyright.PENANAxPsJjNR8V4
567Please respect copyright.PENANALqtTM7fnAe
567Please respect copyright.PENANAETw6MwiUpl
去年,我沒有寫信。567Please respect copyright.PENANAdjHScHi0s8
567Please respect copyright.PENANABUf9y1Rwlp
我選擇在當天完成他的故事。567Please respect copyright.PENANAsc0i1szebi
567Please respect copyright.PENANARixIqycaNj
他是一隻孤傲的鷹,獨自在天空闖蕩,受盡風霜,最後回巢,在家人身邊闔上眼。567Please respect copyright.PENANA3X9tzFWCFR
567Please respect copyright.PENANA4oAiyPXWii
我是活在地面的狼,只能抬頭望著,用我的爪在沙上畫下他在天空翱翔的姿態。567Please respect copyright.PENANA53g9pKscMl
567Please respect copyright.PENANAlqNxZTdfcm
567Please respect copyright.PENANACzMBgAqjYE
這是,我哥哥的故事。567Please respect copyright.PENANArhDRUTlZvq
567Please respect copyright.PENANA7UOV3KJDjm
567Please respect copyright.PENANANn85DIeCWe
567Please respect copyright.PENANABikK81I3O9
完。
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