尋死的念頭一出現，我就被自己給嚇到了。534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq2jSG27zwO
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7gmg3nfzK6
「妳瘋了嗎？」534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFiAhsdfFyj
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsEe6DEkOtU
腦裡出現兩個我，理性的那個正在發飆，狠狠咒罵另一個我。534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmakFnYEqD5
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAWVS8TSE7t
而被罵的那個我，只是一個勁兒地哭。534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeYLv01BYPG
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdBpcfnDW7m
我覺得自己隨時都會爆炸、衝動行事，便躲進被窩，用厚厚的被子蓋住全身，連頭都包在棉被裡，不讓任何光線進來。534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt3v7oVeDv9
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm9RhYBhqJ7
在充滿二氧化碳的被窩裡，我全身是汗，滿臉淚水。534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Ky2U5ueSX
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPaohFUWfBs
我側身把臉埋進枕頭，把尖叫送進布料與棉花裡。534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgnx775TFV4
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF4Gnc9T1bD
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeS7cDR4W9O
我往自己的腳下看，有一片草原。534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx2SMjdH4d9
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8fFsldx42N
面前有一條石頭道路，盡頭是顆大樹。534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLrq1zZhieU
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFtS20BNWdi
樹下站著一個人，太遠了，我看不清他的臉。534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7eGKWRr6sh
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4cArwlLnUE
所以我走近，愈走愈近，直到我看清楚他是誰。534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTTKrTq8sq3
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZBY5aP5sgu
站在樹下的人是英傑。534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjPSX9NHD3
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0awSfWIe5H
我跑向他，勾住他的手。534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTgIP8x3z1v
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQyRtQGJAx
他對我笑著，什麼話也沒說。534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAxquCyhE35
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡefL7wLlY4R
我像是要把這些日子以來，所有發生的事情都告訴他，開始滔滔不絕地講。534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYx3mQTuPpT
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNPaMAukX52
他陪著我走到我原本站的地方，就停下來。534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLQqjGVDXyq
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQGnVVoS28o
我還在講，他轉頭看我，伸出手揉了我的頭，就像他每次做的那樣。534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcCobN4H6ZH
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2z3YEg3reL
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvpc93OXVa9
我張開眼睛，才知道自己夢見英傑了。534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9HAUmIGwAG
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡytg1K4isKV
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOoo0U5m0bF
我開始懷疑起自己做這個夢的原因。534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj0Gknvh1YP
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU1ZnJLjkyP
是太想念英傑了，還是壓力太大需要出口？534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUd28oI8ZU8
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxtx9syEW0s
或是…他真的怎麼了，才到我夢裡來？534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9BAvcPfTF5
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡspvH2RMm4O
我心裡很害怕是後者，但我知道此時的自己無法找到真正的解答。534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3QJb32dsuo
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZ2LE1y8dY
這個夢緩解了我的情緒，也瞬間恢復了大部分的理智。534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQNRbTi3HXj
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvjYORbzKxq
不管是什麼原因，都是英傑救了我。534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaMBVZqmUAD
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLNEqTo9gFb
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKKLPALBx2A
我度過了心中的那個坎，日子雖然沒有改變，但我的心態改變了。534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIvjeAwQK9n
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN3fG4Uk6V1
「沒錯，都是我選的。所以，我要更努力才行。」534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY0zJeM2WiQ
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZKTF1TLTiq
雖然，從那個時候開始，過了很長一段借貸的日子。人都說救急不救窮，但我很幸運，擁有很多好朋友，如果我開口，他們總是不說二話的就拿錢給我；就算我死愛面子不開口，他們也會一直逼問是不是沒錢用。我拿著跟朋友借來的錢，繳家裡的房租、水電費、瓦斯費…然後在假日另外打零工還錢。534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgjZ5ciZXvv
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBJjIszCJn5
高中的最後一個學期，我也差點因為沒能繳出學費而休學（當時已有就學貸款，但沒有考慮，只想著沒錢就去賺錢，別念書好了），但我那班不知該說是兄弟還是恩人的同學，硬是把一疊鈔票交到我手裡，要我慢慢還，要我和他們一起畢業。534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM9OIar5TTV
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSGiB6odr0M
我沒參加考試，畢業後直接去找了工作。我還清了錢，卻欠了好多人情債。534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgBFH4epMs5
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCBtGOMw9yG
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPugORsQjNq
生活條件穩定之後，也談了戀愛，生活圈的人換了幾輪，越來越趨於穩定。
只是在我心底仍有一個空蕩的角落。534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNKDME6tXVP
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTibdvJqdHi
我還是沒有更換手機號碼，一直抱著小小的希望，534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEr97hHxt10
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdFBUsLxk9M
可我已在心裡默默地接受「英傑可能已經過世了」的事實。534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgmKbMricm1
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLrtiQ8Avb8
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk1Goi1BdcR
某天，我的皮夾不知在哪兒掉了，找也找不到。534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwAWVWbN66F
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3rIYWRxo5g
我辦了卡片掛失，心裡希望有人撿到皮夾，會願意送還給我。534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWd6i1zA4G3
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZTaJYqoyE
這時，我才想起皮夾裡有英傑的照片，也想起我們說好要另外拍照留存的事。534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL8zwb98i7E
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoRKKgQnaBE
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjq0zyvBN0L
我的皮夾沒回來，英傑唯一的照片也這麼沒了。534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0FArVlWreV
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtxzbm5j437
有時候，我會懷疑自己已經忘記他的長相，便努力回想那段日子，但畫面只是越來越模糊。534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVgTFPnVgAV
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCQ3c9vMIBN
一年、兩年、三年，當我漸漸淡忘這段過去的時候，我卻看見他了。534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj5WDBb49Ua
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHLriA5iVBw
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvpxGiKKU5W
在電視裡面。534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh0m79mEYqN
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzKr0cDM1SW
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHGu5qERpNj
534Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyb4Z7qxOzx
待續。
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