尋死的念頭一出現，我就被自己給嚇到了。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMqCjKMn8uJ
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnxFnyAvJO5
「妳瘋了嗎？」562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIL4GWCtETR
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1f28YrnHm1
腦裡出現兩個我，理性的那個正在發飆，狠狠咒罵另一個我。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkWwRzolfOP
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb7YXui5kel
而被罵的那個我，只是一個勁兒地哭。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6tYsD5orN9
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡulx0L1eMJN
我覺得自己隨時都會爆炸、衝動行事，便躲進被窩，用厚厚的被子蓋住全身，連頭都包在棉被裡，不讓任何光線進來。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSPzISoHvuV
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkOT7ixKxjM
在充滿二氧化碳的被窩裡，我全身是汗，滿臉淚水。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJNXZpS2Fjd
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpMvGFYw38J
我側身把臉埋進枕頭，把尖叫送進布料與棉花裡。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDe6EdfaAIw
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlt0hvhAN3E
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm5CenOwYci
我往自己的腳下看，有一片草原。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm5Mo50nxH8
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbnA64eSMXo
面前有一條石頭道路，盡頭是顆大樹。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUdVogoT7eB
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWW6rw7BAfn
樹下站著一個人，太遠了，我看不清他的臉。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgIbYSOYGeo
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdAOG7bXSrO
所以我走近，愈走愈近，直到我看清楚他是誰。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqLqoGGSLtn
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrKGBFpdyYW
站在樹下的人是英傑。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEEvlKboyh7
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7rFFkORFB0
我跑向他，勾住他的手。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTWmg7hDeTv
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdBjieorHHZ
他對我笑著，什麼話也沒說。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡperHO1uscU
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJflwKnjR8T
我像是要把這些日子以來，所有發生的事情都告訴他，開始滔滔不絕地講。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrrHVCxtam9
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFBaiRw2Hkd
他陪著我走到我原本站的地方，就停下來。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3gMR20VXmh
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYWa52a0PRl
我還在講，他轉頭看我，伸出手揉了我的頭，就像他每次做的那樣。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡahhBkVylzb
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHe5ijm2nzF
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaeOFWZxkXI
我張開眼睛，才知道自己夢見英傑了。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCbpcRezVit
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb4Cs0xrt23
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkgt9FWFECE
我開始懷疑起自己做這個夢的原因。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPaQADyKFNA
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡha7eJMi6Ar
是太想念英傑了，還是壓力太大需要出口？562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpswFkCgA3Q
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgzCcZJBYpD
或是…他真的怎麼了，才到我夢裡來？562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnN1eSPfGn6
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqX1blarmhG
我心裡很害怕是後者，但我知道此時的自己無法找到真正的解答。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN4vEpiKKQP
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjdGIpXmbuD
這個夢緩解了我的情緒，也瞬間恢復了大部分的理智。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGsziTlPp1L
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX8k0gXP2rt
不管是什麼原因，都是英傑救了我。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv7BmCxntMt
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa5sXJL7f0R
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj5asZ5oPew
我度過了心中的那個坎，日子雖然沒有改變，但我的心態改變了。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡByF2OzmqUa
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsKOQEU035J
「沒錯，都是我選的。所以，我要更努力才行。」562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ42gZrnuRV
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpQxtRr9ylt
雖然，從那個時候開始，過了很長一段借貸的日子。人都說救急不救窮，但我很幸運，擁有很多好朋友，如果我開口，他們總是不說二話的就拿錢給我；就算我死愛面子不開口，他們也會一直逼問是不是沒錢用。我拿著跟朋友借來的錢，繳家裡的房租、水電費、瓦斯費…然後在假日另外打零工還錢。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhl5qzIii5K
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡidvBVCvAR0
高中的最後一個學期，我也差點因為沒能繳出學費而休學（當時已有就學貸款，但沒有考慮，只想著沒錢就去賺錢，別念書好了），但我那班不知該說是兄弟還是恩人的同學，硬是把一疊鈔票交到我手裡，要我慢慢還，要我和他們一起畢業。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhbAMKOXwuU
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0UupcufFC0
我沒參加考試，畢業後直接去找了工作。我還清了錢，卻欠了好多人情債。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9UTIzkGjSR
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeUkjhJbCfY
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLZ0xR9b7QW
生活條件穩定之後，也談了戀愛，生活圈的人換了幾輪，越來越趨於穩定。
只是在我心底仍有一個空蕩的角落。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPtHFPWJW8O
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHHVh4fj1Xp
我還是沒有更換手機號碼，一直抱著小小的希望，562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYiMAjfD01y
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgoPwbI2NPN
可我已在心裡默默地接受「英傑可能已經過世了」的事實。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPIiwXVRFvR
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZo1K39W2Xs
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4RUGYIhiH
某天，我的皮夾不知在哪兒掉了，找也找不到。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOlZOtOPhrO
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3OrFVByD1i
我辦了卡片掛失，心裡希望有人撿到皮夾，會願意送還給我。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5nonSo3wqT
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvYzFMGYkqa
這時，我才想起皮夾裡有英傑的照片，也想起我們說好要另外拍照留存的事。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfNbGaL4oOu
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU09ZGAGMUz
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4wfqpBPLd3
我的皮夾沒回來，英傑唯一的照片也這麼沒了。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdTSEoAzOGV
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU55Pbnej1z
有時候，我會懷疑自己已經忘記他的長相，便努力回想那段日子，但畫面只是越來越模糊。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvJTCZoNPUY
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR4BMMBsaBF
一年、兩年、三年，當我漸漸淡忘這段過去的時候，我卻看見他了。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6nC3m4oTkD
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg0ZGeju5WS
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ95BbxL1P91
在電視裡面。562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkB7k7UuApr
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCz9zSYnGFg
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD7qmhZtNNU
562Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEG9vyFiaY5
待續。
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