尋死的念頭一出現，我就被自己給嚇到了。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKP3vZWBddA
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXniMS1df3s
「妳瘋了嗎？」573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHFlTkj80Ek
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHsKrK0NOb5
腦裡出現兩個我，理性的那個正在發飆，狠狠咒罵另一個我。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbMpMmM5yv6
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjOfUeV28Uk
而被罵的那個我，只是一個勁兒地哭。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2tWrdblGOW
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmh3dXfYkNI
我覺得自己隨時都會爆炸、衝動行事，便躲進被窩，用厚厚的被子蓋住全身，連頭都包在棉被裡，不讓任何光線進來。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbGOMWO7315
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLFGr7njz3S
在充滿二氧化碳的被窩裡，我全身是汗，滿臉淚水。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK4KhX1zq4o
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl3gmrQTaan
我側身把臉埋進枕頭，把尖叫送進布料與棉花裡。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhW0zDCBwsz
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Mc4RQSEBM
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbA43BJ0Z4l
我往自己的腳下看，有一片草原。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1rGAbqXazR
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYxWOu1ymQV
面前有一條石頭道路，盡頭是顆大樹。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlWCPBkEITv
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2aQdjq0uID
樹下站著一個人，太遠了，我看不清他的臉。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPFu96GxIBC
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh5rNZqhrP4
所以我走近，愈走愈近，直到我看清楚他是誰。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkOz5jPDgx5
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmWYbppFrzY
站在樹下的人是英傑。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfdk6uvTUJt
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2UtwYpOU5E
我跑向他，勾住他的手。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbUFq9rPQFi
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgbdpAuWaS8
他對我笑著，什麼話也沒說。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbR7I9aXL2f
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0gg3G682dv
我像是要把這些日子以來，所有發生的事情都告訴他，開始滔滔不絕地講。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSTznYCptiC
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJGlFhDdse
他陪著我走到我原本站的地方，就停下來。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1dXDWALOKu
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8IU1BVVFzx
我還在講，他轉頭看我，伸出手揉了我的頭，就像他每次做的那樣。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡANYOsbLLDy
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ7I9EOVcEv
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6kBaENDoyN
我張開眼睛，才知道自己夢見英傑了。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡry5NUHbzyX
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqXLgoCzapn
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhB2LyaKP0d
我開始懷疑起自己做這個夢的原因。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzY2saMRmCh
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSkNoNjw6J5
是太想念英傑了，還是壓力太大需要出口？573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJox08vTqX
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLM7gGaPccX
或是…他真的怎麼了，才到我夢裡來？573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ebCzIuj0d
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq66f08Dz4a
我心裡很害怕是後者，但我知道此時的自己無法找到真正的解答。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7TR8hWjahD
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXl3TdcnqAs
這個夢緩解了我的情緒，也瞬間恢復了大部分的理智。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGa2F8sKoOz
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1citSBGV8g
不管是什麼原因，都是英傑救了我。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGg3pM37K2N
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfbz8JrnXMr
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwAWeXVHYgF
我度過了心中的那個坎，日子雖然沒有改變，但我的心態改變了。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEjuiH0HXpA
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNFFbPkT1lV
「沒錯，都是我選的。所以，我要更努力才行。」573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcsMBAZCsWY
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeqnGBfB7TL
雖然，從那個時候開始，過了很長一段借貸的日子。人都說救急不救窮，但我很幸運，擁有很多好朋友，如果我開口，他們總是不說二話的就拿錢給我；就算我死愛面子不開口，他們也會一直逼問是不是沒錢用。我拿著跟朋友借來的錢，繳家裡的房租、水電費、瓦斯費…然後在假日另外打零工還錢。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMjWbxy4Sp2
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSmtUvHSQow
高中的最後一個學期，我也差點因為沒能繳出學費而休學（當時已有就學貸款，但沒有考慮，只想著沒錢就去賺錢，別念書好了），但我那班不知該說是兄弟還是恩人的同學，硬是把一疊鈔票交到我手裡，要我慢慢還，要我和他們一起畢業。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOxTlQDVjZp
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYJX02edRbo
我沒參加考試，畢業後直接去找了工作。我還清了錢，卻欠了好多人情債。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxWSs8PdIHu
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmn1dNt4KYk
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiFa6v256QW
生活條件穩定之後，也談了戀愛，生活圈的人換了幾輪，越來越趨於穩定。
只是在我心底仍有一個空蕩的角落。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrynjc6pSf3
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzUPlTPvAW2
我還是沒有更換手機號碼，一直抱著小小的希望，573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ofUSLPoTC
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZhoeDomXuZ
可我已在心裡默默地接受「英傑可能已經過世了」的事實。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Y4GNUTQc8
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYuTBeyM5Lp
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrbF4T4l0EW
某天，我的皮夾不知在哪兒掉了，找也找不到。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡROqTMPSn0H
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL6KRxd8MPP
我辦了卡片掛失，心裡希望有人撿到皮夾，會願意送還給我。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1tpv1HAAcL
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2RfIrNXMi6
這時，我才想起皮夾裡有英傑的照片，也想起我們說好要另外拍照留存的事。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm41WeyEV9O
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqlMSqgeBj6
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOm0gWcjroT
我的皮夾沒回來，英傑唯一的照片也這麼沒了。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLQuWc88fbj
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4AEziHCkuN
有時候，我會懷疑自己已經忘記他的長相，便努力回想那段日子，但畫面只是越來越模糊。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbMBsBdXoZl
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyL63OmIGrM
一年、兩年、三年，當我漸漸淡忘這段過去的時候，我卻看見他了。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Nlk6Ax6h1
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡufYKo4QAMj
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1EDCg6Rfe8
在電視裡面。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Ho1EEtItn
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjWYX7KoXKN
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThT3xoTMcm
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRNxzumXMO8
待續。
ns216.73.216.254da2
