日子還是這樣在過，學校裡的夥伴不時耳提面命「大考將近，獎學金不能拱手讓人」的事，我知道他是逼著我轉移注意力，也就順著他的意，認真上班、認真上課、認真睡覺，好像我換了個叫「課本」的男友，天天與它相伴，沒見著它的時間，都在夢鄉。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZxzWJNY33
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoSniVRZVDT
但，無論怎麼讓自己逃開，總有那幾個瞬間，會被回憶淹沒，尤其是，酸楚的回憶。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPY2Krbxz5b
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFvhkQ75gz3
我把自己關在家幾個禮拜，直到被朋友挖出門。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtYUZVXTxhN
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrXpMC3i2mL
坐上朋友的車，也不是很在乎要去哪裡，明明身邊有人，但全世界好像剩下自己。
也許這些，都是失去愛情的症狀。
可笑的是我連自己是否曾經「擁有」愛情都不確定。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPrhhKQahLX
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlT1xfM01XA
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9uCGP3hLwm
朋友載我到熟悉的山上，我以為他是要去山頂的土地公廟拜拜。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBlhkok4Bt6
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwPBUvs8ojv
「妳最近不是很愛爬山嗎？帶妳來山上走走啊。」574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMrDw8Ec1Mi
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzc2OElDZtS
「……喔…」
我心裡一沉。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcLz0CFhwKm
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsopE3vXUOV
他不知道我為什麼開始爬山，我又怎麼能怪他呢？574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFEg88B4BuE
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVbibZXbys5
我們延著樓梯，爬到了山頂的土地公廟，便隨意照找了個地方坐下，那是山頂的展望區。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY7FsC9vgoX
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU9qEQjPxmv
「那是什麼山啊？」
我指著橫過城市、遠處一座被雲海包圍的山。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE78ScyzUSt
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbC3FFusj84
「我哪知道。」574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNfAEovbHAh
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyVYQDoklBi
「……說的也是。」574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiPJVdWS224
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ15VIb361zx
我才發現自己的愚蠢。
那是我和張先生一同爬山時，我很常說的話。
他總是像個「山的萬事通」，有問必答，即使在我看來那些山都長得一個模樣，他仍能數家珍般地，念出它們的名。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX0rzCZ0l9a
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaDDUvgOHA4
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrdHMZZSZfR
黑兔子找我去唱歌，在包廂裡和另一個女生朋友故意想弄哭我，不停點悲傷的歌來唱，一開始我只是笑，笑她們無聊。
直到某首歌的歌詞刺進我的心裡，痛了那麼一下，我哭了，就停不下來。
兩個女生見我掉淚，居然也跟著哭了，還哭得比我悽慘。最後我還得幫她們擦眼淚。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH3mLHXf5ic
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVJRrY2iqK8
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKFehUtBMab
我很努力要自己不去怨懟、不去記恨，但總對自己被欺騙一事糾結，同時也怪自己不夠聰明、不夠謹慎。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZRNVkIsXYq
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdah5oXxzUF
無法灑脫。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLY9XiVlwvt
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB5CwX05hDh
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡez9udXKRyJ
我還是持續的爬山，但不明白自己是因為什麼而爬。
我害怕自己是為了不忘記他，所以更不敢面對這個問題。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4iXaWV1lIJ
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡothaqXZAX4
直到某次，母親找我一同去爬山。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0s3W3TWMVa
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2p3QWA2tGZ
那是一座有著神話故事點綴的郊山，山上的涼亭裡還用木板刻著傳說。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4eYe4zHDRw
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgHuAT44xGk
「這是我和妳爸爸第一次約會的地方。」574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL1GSjFNYtX
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLyPLY6IMVM
母親突然提起父親，自他們離異後，母親甚少和我聊父親的事。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtX4poLl3gH
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs6pH3jfpQ2
「我喜歡運動，妳爸爸不愛。我喜歡在舞池跳舞，他只想坐在沙發聊天。妳爸爸體能好，明明是蛙人，運動神經好，私底下卻懶惰得要命。」574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLW2eJdzF96
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiUcwWPg0Tp
「但這是我們第一次約會的地方。」574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGyEIhNoqC
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2nkudqdMXb
我不知道母親為什麼突然說這些。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYXdTaLEDZ8
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuUp07ZHT4T
「妳和那個來過家裡的先生，應該沒有再聯絡了吧？」574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuiCsr1c3HT
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAz76cmnhuI
「沒有了。」我立刻回答。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRDymjxe1iK
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVaGaDFQ3sS
「妳一開始喜歡上爬山，是因為他嗎？」574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg20DK3bRLK
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcroRSadaeQ
「嗯。」574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVpbttFxP5X
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXBBFywgP0Z
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNv4VF3fnDy
「那他留給妳的影響，就夠了。」574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhp5XQQyq7T
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡicBtF8uBHU
我還不明白。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBBq4S9YjgB
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmXn89CbW8U
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrIcx2BnPwX
「妳本來就喜歡小動物、小昆蟲，剛剛一路上來妳都在跟我介紹那些蜘蛛蝸牛，山區就是讓妳更親近牠們的地方，妳這段路爬上來有想到那個男人嗎？」574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJJrHemYOQ
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡChUO8og2CV
「……沒有。」574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoz2czwEGZP
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcZ2eUks4nv
「那妳還介意是誰啟發妳喜歡爬山嗎？」574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ53aYiChJMd
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKfp2kusowu
我盯著她，努力消化她的話語。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoX3taHIPbM
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkMRjJgGR1U
「不管事情是怎麼開始的，只要最後有好的地方值得妳保留就好了。」574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLTBBhRU2HU
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7EfyEpdAIB
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnbiArhR2tH
「妳沒必要忘記。」574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrg6LDC4rCJ
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgut868sUPi
我的眼淚差一點就奪眶而出。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSGcP25F6SZ
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCJhVMSk3v9
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmus27K3NMh
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrQroaji1Vj
後來。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxzFCW2QSDS
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5sZcGWCUSE
學期順利結束，我依然拿到系上的獎學金。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ66FazdJme0
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGbx64kiD9v
真正了解我的家人朋友，都沒有怪我隱瞞他們，我以為會面對很多責怪，卻意外收到過多的心疼。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBxR8bnzCPy
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1QRZqNieIe
我去爬了更多的山，也因為山結交了更多新朋友，也間接因為爬山認識了現在的男朋友。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5B4yNJQ88R
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1w1Ag6Mkx6
在之後我曾和幾個好友在居酒屋裡，酒酣耳熱之際說完了整個故事，朋友們聽到我查證的過程，開玩笑的說「妳怎麼不去徵信社上班啊！」574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyzPAhesN8z
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqmUhqUHSr1
而我真的在因緣際會下踏入了徵信業。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlSFug0PPwM
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLbVHkrakpg
看到了更多更多事例，才知道感情的故事，真的都是一個套路，所以我們總覺得「這首歌在寫我」，「這個故事在說我」…因為我們的感情路，好好壞壞，都差不多會是那個樣子。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUnM0TPPSIs
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9VsFDlEKRv
我沒有繼續怨恨他，但也沒有原諒他，我只是原諒自己。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD9xFUsOOp8
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt8PXg4yfqN
在寫這篇之前，我偷偷地搜尋了他的名字，發現他們有了個可愛的女兒。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡILAWTSsuMg
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPsElFxOt5g
「希望你專心愛她們。」我發自內心的想。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB6GNYUfLJw
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoyeYbcx6iA
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9N0hrix2zk
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvPAMiS75yg
完。
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