尋死的念頭一出現，我就被自己給嚇到了。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYa1xLmWcJ3
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUj91wZEgqo
「妳瘋了嗎？」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpDLzws7oEh
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKFR1R5Rlvc
腦裡出現兩個我，理性的那個正在發飆，狠狠咒罵另一個我。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn2yrZzh2G1
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLTmqxvngGL
而被罵的那個我，只是一個勁兒地哭。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡue3al0dm7s
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKx15gADAFA
我覺得自己隨時都會爆炸、衝動行事，便躲進被窩，用厚厚的被子蓋住全身，連頭都包在棉被裡，不讓任何光線進來。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLnbbYo5uiQ
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡChoP0UdPeK
在充滿二氧化碳的被窩裡，我全身是汗，滿臉淚水。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm6ZFJ5S2aq
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP4mJplh2Do
我側身把臉埋進枕頭，把尖叫送進布料與棉花裡。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHBze3pXDUi
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyo8A8oU2Gm
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz6ZY2rBiKL
我往自己的腳下看，有一片草原。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrv0tmJjVy3
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7UegtecCPc
面前有一條石頭道路，盡頭是顆大樹。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDLfDridwbq
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu6cwKajUYB
樹下站著一個人，太遠了，我看不清他的臉。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5EObK7TSAz
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF5JUneC2Hs
所以我走近，愈走愈近，直到我看清楚他是誰。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0NRcGzQUAk
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyDXwnskpvG
站在樹下的人是英傑。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUAMx9RWFTd
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw8pfLf5qXU
我跑向他，勾住他的手。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvURcIe4GZA
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQGQ5XYliRa
他對我笑著，什麼話也沒說。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcmS0qzpcpd
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMu1yBuuEPV
我像是要把這些日子以來，所有發生的事情都告訴他，開始滔滔不絕地講。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsrSekmFNSP
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIMB4qR1Kfs
他陪著我走到我原本站的地方，就停下來。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsRKSOJWgNW
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwvMD3WCsEy
我還在講，他轉頭看我，伸出手揉了我的頭，就像他每次做的那樣。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFJ1eksagoU
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ080vtBctZp
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtpjle2nEQY
我張開眼睛，才知道自己夢見英傑了。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡALNyXGf5bK
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfuRrOuWJZR
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpqqgNNeOap
我開始懷疑起自己做這個夢的原因。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtBxsKxvS7A
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4hnErK9QwF
是太想念英傑了，還是壓力太大需要出口？498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3D9FzWurnP
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2R0SCdvWhV
或是…他真的怎麼了，才到我夢裡來？498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa7v1nFu4Kg
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpXyCKvIsKk
我心裡很害怕是後者，但我知道此時的自己無法找到真正的解答。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRER1t2Z8XT
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgviki5yi0x
這個夢緩解了我的情緒，也瞬間恢復了大部分的理智。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZp5nTbyJ4
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFBsYNuw6v6
不管是什麼原因，都是英傑救了我。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNcOf9UAMFP
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZn6P9GWtxV
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoS0zzdRdZ8
我度過了心中的那個坎，日子雖然沒有改變，但我的心態改變了。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtdonTSLSXX
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5LCFpWju8l
「沒錯，都是我選的。所以，我要更努力才行。」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkYxEXKpMI0
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvjQnELPFUp
雖然，從那個時候開始，過了很長一段借貸的日子。人都說救急不救窮，但我很幸運，擁有很多好朋友，如果我開口，他們總是不說二話的就拿錢給我；就算我死愛面子不開口，他們也會一直逼問是不是沒錢用。我拿著跟朋友借來的錢，繳家裡的房租、水電費、瓦斯費…然後在假日另外打零工還錢。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnphjzETjHD
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgq6rhNhI6w
高中的最後一個學期，我也差點因為沒能繳出學費而休學（當時已有就學貸款，但沒有考慮，只想著沒錢就去賺錢，別念書好了），但我那班不知該說是兄弟還是恩人的同學，硬是把一疊鈔票交到我手裡，要我慢慢還，要我和他們一起畢業。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡelA38JtBqs
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTTxFLHgGkq
我沒參加考試，畢業後直接去找了工作。我還清了錢，卻欠了好多人情債。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVp2vt3b2iP
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVoR2x68wmf
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQL8kTrqC64
生活條件穩定之後，也談了戀愛，生活圈的人換了幾輪，越來越趨於穩定。
只是在我心底仍有一個空蕩的角落。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdEJU2USdFr
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvboG0N6F3e
我還是沒有更換手機號碼，一直抱著小小的希望，498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5yWf9USEru
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3lDi7o2VLj
可我已在心裡默默地接受「英傑可能已經過世了」的事實。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2OyYLbKaky
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ65prZXAmZO
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkcmjGnpvrQ
某天，我的皮夾不知在哪兒掉了，找也找不到。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFjouxdU6LV
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw2zgrVeGhW
我辦了卡片掛失，心裡希望有人撿到皮夾，會願意送還給我。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdhKGOPG69u
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoTHgz0ShmY
這時，我才想起皮夾裡有英傑的照片，也想起我們說好要另外拍照留存的事。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM1siBJ1nRN
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOejocE0lCJ
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqsG7Y9RFxD
我的皮夾沒回來，英傑唯一的照片也這麼沒了。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9IkvALZNNr
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxWwv9h0Aqd
有時候，我會懷疑自己已經忘記他的長相，便努力回想那段日子，但畫面只是越來越模糊。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyUCAp9N87t
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkGUoWHhkSX
一年、兩年、三年，當我漸漸淡忘這段過去的時候，我卻看見他了。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1CUCULMdL3
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyUaCQVpVri
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMwfX3YJAkO
在電視裡面。498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ34UvVZgEGp
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrMJKEQN4ja
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJHROlv6Qyo
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJer1BcbYfA
待續。
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