第五十九.五章753Please respect copyright.PENANAKMdSgEWCu3
753Please respect copyright.PENANAratkEhY8Ms
「何鵬侑,其實你對我仲有無感覺?」753Please respect copyright.PENANAOc9mVw65hV
我終於都決定要問一次,這一個一直埋藏在我心底裡的問題。753Please respect copyright.PENANAAOuGIfJE5E
753Please respect copyright.PENANAdC0FeoRoEf
我已經拖延了Alvin不少時間了,他可是還要回去為姐姐買晚飯的。753Please respect copyright.PENANAm3yb6wjl3K
雖然心裡是這樣想著,但我還是把他從醫院帶來了車站,再由車站從帶到來了現在暫住的家樓下。753Please respect copyright.PENANAQQ2kMVaFXV
原因就只是希望能夠問道他這一條問題……753Please respect copyright.PENANACP8zP7St5P
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但當我問完後,只見Alvin思考了一會。753Please respect copyright.PENANAatptEQhdeb
拜託,你一定要回答「已經放下了我」。753Please respect copyright.PENANAn4Dyip9uWS
這樣我才能夠有藉口都讓自己放下你的……753Please respect copyright.PENANA5UTDnoBHNx
753Please respect copyright.PENANAHhqd8Xta81
「你要我老實答嘅話,喺仲有感覺。」他思考完後,就看著我說。753Please respect copyright.PENANAlEiXr5L2hd
聽到他這一個答案,我的大腦頓時如同電腦當了機一樣。753Please respect copyright.PENANArITJMjOolX
他這個答案,完全打亂了我原先預定好要與他說的話……753Please respect copyright.PENANA7D2SCPBvwq
753Please respect copyright.PENANAzqIoAwtSt3
我初初是希望他會回答我「已經放下了」。753Please respect copyright.PENANAyUyE4SteXy
然後我就可以順勢假裝自己都放下,並與他再一次由「朋友」的關係,重新再來一次。753Please respect copyright.PENANAgOzpzftoTY
但現在他竟然直接回答我「還有感覺」……753Please respect copyright.PENANAHBdmceru7t
753Please respect copyright.PENANAwsgusPq1wP
單單就是這一句,就足夠令我已經很想立即走進他懷中,然後跟他說,其實我都一樣還沒有放下……753Please respect copyright.PENANAlkM6DCTu03
雖然感性上,我真的想與他再一起。753Please respect copyright.PENANAiVmlv2EHff
但理性上告訴了我,一開始令他失望及傷心的人……是我。753Please respect copyright.PENANAD1pm2m0wL0
即使我知道一切都已經過去了……753Please respect copyright.PENANAGLrkn6GJHy
但是曾經的傷痕裂縫,是沒法輕易就能填補得到的。753Please respect copyright.PENANAcaZkB3vNSl
我或許已經沒有資格,在他的心裡再佔上一格。753Please respect copyright.PENANAq9v5WgtFXY
我更不能再在他的心裡刻上第二條傷痕……753Please respect copyright.PENANAIpqERTHOcL
753Please respect copyright.PENANAtGmTqoww9W
但是這刻情緒已經有一點開始湧現出來。753Please respect copyright.PENANADU6wh2iVos
然而,我都一定要假裝冷靜,不能讓他看穿我此刻的情緒。753Please respect copyright.PENANAluqXeJMJn4
於是我便深呼吸了一下,然後說:「都過咗成年啦……點會仲有感覺架……」753Please respect copyright.PENANA8zlV4FilDZ
我說著的時候,心裡其實都一陣隱隱作痛。753Please respect copyright.PENANAqf2hPZBdwf
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「原先都無乜架啦,但同你相遇翻之後,個感覺即刻出翻哂嚟。」753Please respect copyright.PENANAj7YuLp6pjO
他回答著我。753Please respect copyright.PENANAsbaSDKafmT
為何你一定要說這些說話呢……753Please respect copyright.PENANAOJNrlYGWKE
753Please respect copyright.PENANAx8IW1W3FCA
雖然心裡很難受,但我自己弄出來的問題,就必須由我自己來解決。753Please respect copyright.PENANAeagkMXEm7w
「問題就喺呢到啦!」我立即回應他。753Please respect copyright.PENANACvBiew7Hk8
而他都很快就看著我問:「問題?」753Please respect copyright.PENANAKuLinD4cOD
753Please respect copyright.PENANAvtPVfgbKgc
「我哋依家嘅身份仲喺前男女朋友,所以一見翻臉就自然會咩感覺都出翻哂嚟……明明大家都已經分咗手成年,但你仲喺好似move on唔到咁。」753Please respect copyright.PENANAjPEvb3qB92
我都不知道自己正在亂說著甚麼……但我說完後,就立即轉身背向著他。753Please respect copyright.PENANAn6x5CgdISO
因為我真的開始壓抑不住心中一直不斷湧現著的情緒了……753Please respect copyright.PENANAu2dsTxXFs2
每當我說一句與心相反的說話,我就變得更難受了。753Please respect copyright.PENANAWGmtkSdXJy
753Please respect copyright.PENANAKcpkjeq3PP
「你咁樣講,好似講到自己已經放低咗咁。」他又回應了我。753Please respect copyright.PENANA027BM1w9NL
原來你認為我已經將你放下了嗎……753Please respect copyright.PENANAnO8E7gjRgU
雖然,心真的很痛,但既然已經決定了,我就必須繼續演下去。753Please respect copyright.PENANAgsGw22vPVk
753Please respect copyright.PENANAyyBjhr0HE1
「我……放低咗架啦!」我說道。753Please respect copyright.PENANAae7h7xy8pR
但這時候,淚水都終於壓抑不住,從雙眼開始流下來。753Please respect copyright.PENANALF9OySU1vj
對不起……我撒謊了,但這都是為了你好。753Please respect copyright.PENANAdMk2PhEuVe
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「喺啊……你放低到咪好囉……唔似我咁。」他回答我。753Please respect copyright.PENANAyoL2v15cb8
拜託不要再說這些說話了……753Please respect copyright.PENANAVlq5kbW6UI
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此刻,聽完他的說話後,我的心真很痛,很痛,很痛。753Please respect copyright.PENANA7m17hJKyB1
但是我還得繼續演下去……753Please respect copyright.PENANAJQU6ozWFC7
於是我強忍著眼淚,並轉身看著他。753Please respect copyright.PENANA74QJ7jdhXV
753Please respect copyright.PENANAWlMuDCDAhy
幸好,這時旁邊的的路燈剛好因時限而熄滅了。753Please respect copyright.PENANAr86YwV21LG
這麼暗的環境,他應該是看不到我的表情的……753Please respect copyright.PENANAlaJv6dlWHd
於是我便立即向他說道:「所以我覺得點解有時我哋喺班房到會有啲尷尬就喺因為我哋身份嘅問題。」753Please respect copyright.PENANA8EsEuQE0X3
句子之間完全沒有停頓,因為一停頓下來,我就會又想哭了。753Please respect copyright.PENANAc3UVKOs2sh
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「身份嘅問題?」他問道我。753Please respect copyright.PENANAVDFv5T1zXl
「你仲覺得我喺你前女朋友,所以有時喺交流上先會有啲尷尬……你應該好似我咁放低哂,然後就以一個新嘅身份去面對你!」753Please respect copyright.PENANALZjBvnQCMf
我看似很有道理地說著。753Please respect copyright.PENANA2hGsRQEmgd
但其實我根本就沒有放下過對他的感情。753Please respect copyright.PENANA7enpy5tfTh
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接著,Alvin竟然沒有回應我。753Please respect copyright.PENANAirHUhE2ZqA
於是我都只好繼續說:「不如我哋重新嚟過,唔喺曾經嘅戀人,唔喺前男女朋友,而喺重新由朋友呢個關係再開始過。」753Please respect copyright.PENANA73sS60cqvw
本來這一句說話,是打算一開始在他回答我「已經放下了」後,就接著說的。753Please respect copyright.PENANABh6zp0jdiN
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雖然我都希望我們能從「朋友」再重新開始過。753Please respect copyright.PENANAk3Mj7ZAvQV
但至少都讓我有一個藉口去先放下對你的感情吧……753Please respect copyright.PENANAMmhZn0arIr
現在這樣反而讓我更不想去放下對你的感情了……753Please respect copyright.PENANACO3EZriB0n
753Please respect copyright.PENANAluO5RTpx11
「你嘅意思即喺我哋做翻朋友,好似啲典型嘅分手對白咁。」他又開口說道了。753Please respect copyright.PENANA80bBaJ8697
「咁唔好咩?你又可以放低我,而我哋又可以繼續正正常常咁交流……」753Please respect copyright.PENANAAit4l3TtfI
這對現在的我們來說,應該是最好的解決方法了。753Please respect copyright.PENANAhfERMrWzVe
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接著Alvin都沉默了一會,看來他都應該是在思考著這個唯一的解決方法。753Please respect copyright.PENANAmV7cybho3p
而很快,他都彷彿想通了一樣開口說:「好啦,我哋做翻朋友啦咁!由今日起,我哋就只喺朋友。」753Please respect copyright.PENANAfy9AQuWx1x
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當我聽到他說我們只是朋友時,我就知道「何鵬侑與蔡霜玥」這段關係,在這一瞬間……完結了。753Please respect copyright.PENANAIQrSFCyaSn
雖然這本來就是我的目的,但為何當我聽到他所說後,我反而更難過……753Please respect copyright.PENANAU7nGK4ATYi
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我的眼淚又開始從雙眼流下。753Please respect copyright.PENANAy9NQSt4rjc
但現在與他這麼近的距離,他一定會看得見我臉上的淚水。753Please respect copyright.PENANAh1MmbHD2OL
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因此,我只好立即轉身,並強忍著淚水說:「好啦……時間唔早啦,你……快啲翻去買飯比家姐啦,我都要上翻去煮自己份晚餐啦!」753Please respect copyright.PENANA0VsevLP7Hy
接著,我就背向著他揮手,並往前面的方向跑去。753Please respect copyright.PENANA4Z2Y5I53no
我必須離開他,因為我實在不能再忍耐下去了。753Please respect copyright.PENANA3oxeaVYrA1
再這樣下去,我一定會在他面前痛哭出來的……753Please respect copyright.PENANA9s2r0hzPPf
我不想他後悔。753Please respect copyright.PENANAUedKJdbCIq
753Please respect copyright.PENANAnR6bLj3tZO
我跑著的時候,並沒有理會身後的Alvin是站著還是轉身離開了。753Please respect copyright.PENANAyvVYzD9Ic9
淚水已經不斷從雙眼滲出,而我都只能加快腳步走回家中。753Please respect copyright.PENANAaDio1ykFp1
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接著,當我成功回到家,打開了門進到屋內,並閉上門的一剎那……753Please respect copyright.PENANAMFf6vH33QC
我直接跪在地上,大聲地哭起來……753Please respect copyright.PENANARN3XztvN3B
對上一次,我會這樣大聲哭出來,應該是與Alvin提出分手後……753Please respect copyright.PENANAkVod5vwnEk
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「好痛,好痛,好痛……」我哭著的同時一直說著。753Please respect copyright.PENANAqVJXybuGjf
這一刻,並沒有任何人能在我身邊能夠安慰及陪伴著我。753Please respect copyright.PENANA0sDteZ1QbE
而我都只能一直痛哭著,直到淚水流乾涸為止……753Please respect copyright.PENANAfUS6x7Vfo8
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對不起,何鵬侑,是我親手摧毀了我們這一段感情的。753Please respect copyright.PENANAH5T36WAKnT
過去你所認識的蔡霜玥,將不再存在。753Please respect copyright.PENANAw7UxK2UUwk
而接下來的蔡霜玥,都只會與你以「朋友」的身份繼續相處。753Please respect copyright.PENANA0CU5z59eIA