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我在書枱前呆了大半日。熱茶已涼，但我未嚐半口，心思都在眼前電腦屏幕上——剛輸入的文字不停被刪。字越少，心越亂，人越躁。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi5SjdZaNtN
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkdHmXglYI6
不了。受不了。我離座往廚房換茶去。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuSQV9FA6DP
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZo9M1MG4WH
廳中老妻瞄我半眼，大概知道發生甚麼事，沒有作聲，繼續看電視。我對她的不表態不勝感激——她以最聰明的方法維護我的尊嚴。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVl8jPokx5F
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUlFheD43FY
滾水撞上茶葉，水仙香氣隨著冉升白煙溢散開去。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5NQN63exCE
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3oUzdBjQzm
壓力似乎一併消散。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNmNBDQT57V
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQe6o5rMScN
茶盡。我再續杯。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs0v6UFEBwV
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMGTgfM2W1W
添茶不是長遠之計——屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBut41EdJcW
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4TlSbvKeRG
嘆一口氣，慨嘆自己太天真可愛。怎麼會相信自己有寫作天分，而且一信就是幾十年。幾十年來，不停寫，不停發表，不停被無視。我只得不停安慰自己說旁人不識貨。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFGRy4g3vvf
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJOi0J6UY4U
口不對心。心裡其實清楚自己料子如何。但我還是堅持寫下去。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyEOWgPSXJf
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9YEIZEioHh
是習慣、面子、尊嚴緣故，更是不想承認自己做了一個長達幾十年的白日夢。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWdq6z5CcgD
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9gr6uSa5Td
夢醒一場空。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwViEEIC02A
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOBgl0JNgP3
我本平庸，無甚專長，唯獨寫作能力相對身邊友儕略高丁點。丁點而已，卻足以讓我樂透幾十年。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4bmFCgS5Zp
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBXaH7Z9Ulm
工作不順利時，我會告訴自己——我的專長不在工作上，所以被罵亦是無可厚非；人際關係不如意時，我會告訴自己——如果世人只能用文字溝通，我該是表達能力最好的人；走倒運時，我會告訴自己——我正在為快要誕生的偉大作品累積靈感……451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKPsDNi3dX3
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRXmgZFNt5s
一切都是有意義的。如果我真有寫作天分的話。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCUHNPHJ2s
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKvdhAPfNDF
捧著熱茶回到座位。身在心在能力不在。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYIdmgRwL7i
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWeLhUSqes4
在刺眼的屏幕白頁前，我又嘆一口氣。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdFZIzwMGdQ
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2R5yLZsxCa
我不曾長大，仍是幾十年前那個我，沉浸在中文老師讚賞的我。同學們紛表羨慕我的寫作天份，請教我如何想出精彩故事、練出動人文筆。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt1fprSjuMJ
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCjt25XJu4V
我沾沾自喜。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC4k39Oghvy
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgEvEM55PXq
細心回想，我當時已覺竅門不在天分，而是努力。努力鑽研文字的運用，努力細味名著佳作當中的韻味，努力思考故事情節起伏，努力觀察分析人世百態……名副其實的將勤補拙。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt33VIU0mw8
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbuPYZURllq
但我沒有向同學們坦白。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzVhjDlc7bp
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGW2QysmS0F
因為我喜歡被讚賞的感覺。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgi1DSjHxjv
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy5qx8aQuyA
努力，努力，努力。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeRRkV7vx8R
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2EnfXAX44q
我的寫作技巧與日俱增，亦在多個學屆寫作比賽中獲獎。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUrZo0orSNd
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwOguCbpJmA
我以為自己將來鐵定能夠成為作家。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoMaJFd58zt
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsOj7copuAM
以為。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm9mXDVaxfz
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvzikjoaQJi
告別校園後，我成為一個普通文職。普通收入，普通打扮，普通生活。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwuPC54UYru
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLKvo2zCPho
普通得輕易被取代。普通得難以承受。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjG2YMpOCxP
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7cFh9Yr6ob
我不得不告訴自己我是多麼的有寫作天份！我是多麼的獨特！451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdigQNVVxlz
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNTknTcZIzH
某夜下班回家，我泡了一壺水仙，乘著茶香全情投入寫作世界。沒有外物打擾，我的世界只有我。一切如願。那麼順心，那麼安寧，那麼快樂。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqWNTcZYuo0
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgeKKoatJjS
我的作品感動了我。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6iImb7wW5N
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCkA0RCzPZR
我希望藉此找到更多懂我的人。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8jEUdlKOzd
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQsvE4zIIVu
幾十年來，不停寫，不停發表，不停被無視。我的世界與真實世界不斷相互碰撞。面對無止境的打擊，我不曾問自己為何堅持。因為一旦心生此等疑問，變相在內心種下「自我質疑」的根苗，一發不可收拾。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiQIZhYl0Dr
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOIq2xIJI9y
無法接受自己幾十年堅持建基於一個沒可能實現的夢想。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7VB4Jx724i
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJY6go8dRF0
無法承受自己生來就是如此普通、平凡、平庸……451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZHG8u4QWK
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHNIAmAacdo
熱茶又涼了。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs3ni3UDoCn
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoBGHsemvTv
屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjES6PYPGLR
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWOpxN7M5Tf
老妻繼續以不表態維護我的尊嚴。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3CC1kGGP7d
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtcxq1kmlvl
我的作品只感動了我。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMr4BzZH1Nh
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlcCOZkhMOC
因為我的感受只有我讀得懂。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdRQ7xFYrKP
