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根據居民的指示，我沿著竹林小徑走了一整天，終於到達目的地：一間全竹結構的寺廟。它比我預想中更為破落，冷冷清清的。我抬頭望向高高懸掛在山門的匾額，寫著「竹寺」。617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCYfegzx0SS
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzE3BD98uzi
蠻有意思的名字。617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqGtEJPMFEr
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ33IrgTa0P
當我正要邁步內進時，一個打扮樸素的瘦削大叔剛好開門踏出。四目交投，雙方都愣住了幾秒。617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLTLHMXnV8g
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjBngjiE73P
「歡迎內進。」沒等我回答，大叔已轉身為我引路。617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ4kYon0Kqm
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN4dGYRrTfP
眼見天色漸暗，我不再磨蹭，看能否找到綫索，省卻逗留此地的時間：「不好意思喔，大叔！請問黃XX女士住在這裡嗎？」617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ku9xQFekG
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuePj1WWBz2
大叔的腳步突兀地戛然而止。617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF5LEw7jKsh
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1tvfmib5Bs
是我的提問過於唐突嗎？617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnsYel9ASg8
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDttcqzST1t
大叔回頭仔細打量我，神色疑惑，似乎在猜測我和黃女士的關係。617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe9uKBbYCMs
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwX0969w3xO
「有人託我將信件親手轉交予黃女士。」617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtv2kK0Y2wO
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6wyBQm9Wau
「黃女士已離開這裡好一段時間，不知何時會回來……甚或是不知會否回來。」617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZcPki4cmyr
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb7H8BBGIkl
「她有透露去處嗎？」617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5mOqxE8A1X
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX0CO6PsfjG
「沒有……我帶你去她昔日的房間試找綫索。」617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2EthH9MxtZ
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBrZomSDpVM
大叔再次邁步，步履沒有之前的輕，重若銀鉛。617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPuHwMTGRo8
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHGhE8fc3sL
陰冷的空氣，空洞的房間，慘白的牆身，最基本的傢俬和雜物。沒有生活的氣息。617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFh5hw1Blgz
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5SLfoxWGtb
「剛才在門外碰見你，也還真令我驚訝。」大叔沒有進入房間，逕自在門外呢呢喃喃。「竹寺曾香火鼎盛。後來毗鄰的兩個小鎮分別新建更大更金碧輝煌的寺廟，無意間將信眾分流開去，到來竹寺掛單的僧侶亦逐漸減少，住持最終徇眾要求到另一寺廟主持大局。他指派我長駐於此，打掃清潔，說要方便途經的旅客。我一直覺得他想多了，豈料今天就遇見你。」617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4KDPEX18bu
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ4qjRx5dca
「可能佛祖不想我白走一趟。」我話中有話，提醒侍奉佛祖的大叔不要忘記佛祖的存在，萬萬不能撒謊。617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCoQMgXd3Mj
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnaJaGdk1eZ
「我可以明天帶你見住持。他有掛單紀錄，可能有黃女士的聯絡資料。」大叔也不是省油的燈，簡單幾句就將我逼至沒有退路的位置：「但我希望你能先對我坦白事情的前因後果。住持是個大忙人。我可不希望為他增添不必要的麻煩。」617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPwrLpQsksU
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzMcgNr3w0t
我只得坦白交代。617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIBIDvdWkq0
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZhWtx7ZFED
我的妻子過身了。臨終前，她希望我能預留一年時間為她完成唯一的遺願：親手將遺書交予離家出走多年的生母——黃女士。事隔多年，黃女士曾在多個地方落腳。我每次根據綫索趕至時，她早已遷居。輾轉間，我追尋至竹寺……617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKu1MdY2z10
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhZwaxMEkaK
「距離一年限期，還剩多少日子？」大叔生起關切之情。617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKjkrcxE3jx
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEmMA2cKXtw
「三日。竹寺很可能是我的最後機會。」我加倍留意他的神色舉止。617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7i8mg8u7Tj
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAap3p6Tjvt
「不考慮延長？」大叔表現出來的的關切絕對超過一個陌生人該有的限度。617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFsvQOkvSfK
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡldAofXj4ih
「妻子信緣份。她認為努力過後仍沒能找到，證明彼此有緣無份，毋須強求。她還叮囑我要燒毀遺書。」617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWiRAqrVi25
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUqzU9PrSKY
大叔若有所思後，講出驚人的一句：「若果一年期限屆滿時仍找不到黃女士，介意給我看看遺書嗎？」617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuIOZAZvzo7
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS4Vw6fEVTb
「極度介意！」我心裡認定大叔有事隱瞞。617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEYy1wYB4LW
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvsGjjaKpV2
尷尬氣氛令大叔不再多話。617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwZdwSBQZHx
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYO1J8KjjIy
晚餐後，大叔在其他地方忙著，我則留在房間對著愛妻的照片痛哭一場。哭過以後，壓力得以紓緩，但心頭卻未能添加半分澄明，混沌混濁。617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmxAgIpxWT5
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOYnzO2AKFM
我離房在寺內溜達散心。逛著逛著，忽爾看見大叔彎腰對著花園中的小樹喁喁細語，臉上盡是蜜甜。617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfRmDakQHRw
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3dN4UtGGZn
我上前跟大叔打招呼。他微笑回應，和顏悅色，渾身散發著慈祥氣息，沒有白天時的隔膜。我嘗試放下戒心，開心見誠與他聊天。617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3tCVswTNiA
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9tQGtWkfYI
不知怎地，聊著聊著，話題竟牽到大叔的心事去。617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡspFepWoJ9B
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl2MHshLAi3
「貪，使人執著於一切順情之境。嗔，使人執著於一切違情之境。痴，使人不明白真理，致使生起貪嗔。617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCVra9IayiK
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiUfxo9nmnZ
我痴愚半生，痛苦不已。到此地求法，希望住持指點迷津。但他認為我凡心未盡，要我留在這裡靜思。617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRRAPhDs8TB
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡONOB2FENCB
我在竹寺侍奉多年，住持依然不為所動。我以為他在敷衍我。今天遇到你，我才明白住持所言非虛：任何無關的人事物都可輕易勾起我對逝去伴侶的思念。」617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmvcZbzAM7e
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTjbUraifAa
我終於明白初時大叔何以對我不太友善。617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn3yw11Lzmu
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTyDM0hR6z1
將心比心。喪妻之後，任何人事物均能勾起我和對太太的思念。我曾抱怨上天幸災樂禍，何解不讓我安靜避世。我已盡力放下身邊一切，辭掉工作，不聯絡親友，遷出愛巢，但偏偏愛妻的遺願就是要我去彌補她的畢生遺憾！我沒有一刻能放下她，因為我的分分秒秒就是為她而過。617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMjQ75C1kWY
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeR3sLSMo38
那種痛苦實非筆墨所能形容。617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpBHFfdIfe6
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8nH7XAL2zt
「你的妻子真聰明，給你的痛苦設下一年期限。只要你在這一年裡拼命為她圓願，往後也就了無遺憾或悔疚。我可沒那麼幸運，不知要拖著這副臭皮囊乾等到哪年哪月哪日……」617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEbFljDpWf4
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPQ7rbaXvsq
說罷，他跟我和小樹說晚安，然後揚長而去。617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxOg9nlyxPz
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsgVuQr0UjM
翌日，我翻遍整間竹寺亦找不到大叔，只在他的房間找到他留給我的手繪地圖。我跟著地圖的指示走了大半天，來到住持現處的寺廟。617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb20tweRof8
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ33zZz0g8t2
住持聽罷我的經歷後，不禁黯然慨嘆：「黃女士始終凡心未盡……」617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ95boSbab86
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkb8Y3IkanM
黃女士當年拋夫棄女，與情夫私奔。豈料甜蜜日子不長久，情夫患急病逝世。黃女士大受打擊，認為是自己作孽甚深，連累情夫。她來到竹寺，望住持能指點迷津。住持認為她深陷激動情緒當中，容易作出錯誤選擇，逐要她在竹寺靜思己過。可惜她半夜逃離。當黃女士重臨竹寺時，她已花光積蓄在黑市做手術整容及變性，以情夫的外表現身……617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9FH1XXbKzv
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtxnpO2KqlH
「大叔就是黃女士？」我不禁驚呼。617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpRsxShpAAC
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3IGKMM9EEe
震驚之情瞬間即逝，取而代之的是說不出的矛盾。617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYpQihVHjcp
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD6RqFr0Hmy
這個人，我恨不來，亦原諒不了。617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWBWf0y5m88
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAUCatXb6bu
翌日，我和住持往竹寺走一趟。617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiVTOYw5cc4
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsLmvJwiqpk
寺前，我倆不約而同抬頭望向匾額。617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCbXYQq9u75
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOyEGfdsE9T
「你知道『竹寺』何以得名嗎？」住持問。617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwjwhsrcAL2
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4CJkNkSmXz
「等？」我的猜想有如初來之時。617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdGMJscrflz
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡihi1LZHQ86
「這名字只不過是客觀描述寺廟本身。」住持揚手指向全竹結構的寺廟：「大家實在想多了，對自己的想像投放情感，賦予它過多的意義，致使看不見眼前真象。」617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2jifgDnlXr
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWJ3RRs2hw4
我驀地憶起大叔前夜的說話。617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYzPlFZlxS7
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzYiZPILFPF
住持直接走往花園。不出他所料，小樹已被連根拔起，樹下土地被挖出一個大坑，足以容納一個成人。617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJmGa0eRgK
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6jTQvwQKHb
我心頭一涼，頓時明白那是甚麼一回事：多年以來，情夫的屍首一直埋在這裡。617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfTrH0LZc6V
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdwvMejVYkF
我鼻頭一酸，淚如雨下。617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsSa33LVZfM
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQwfGIQIbCz
「『強逼自己放下執著』也是一種執著。」617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡozvR99i8bd
617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw3A3GetYxY
住持淡然望天，開始為一切生者亡者誦經。
