午餐用膳後，男生們大多會將多餘時間花在學校操場，或場上打籃球，或場外觀賽。我亦不例外，在場邊與同學輕聲討論打球技巧。忘形之際，一個籃球高速自後側飛來，狠狠砸中我右耳耳背。場中男生上前向我連聲道歉，我只道不要緊。男生拾球後繼續回場較勁，沒把事情放心上。當然，我也沒所謂，小事一椿。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk0ma8Hbdxv
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm3IvdWsPbV
令我在意的反倒是球場另邊有個陌生男生對我微笑。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBISh5gpGyz
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUQoIUWmUjz
匆匆一笑，半秒即逝。他轉頭跟身邊友人繼續說說笑笑。我挺肯定自己想多了——對方不是故意對著我笑，僅是他的站立姿勢及面向角度湊巧朝著我這邊來。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD0eGC4uTBg
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIwEEnnukHA
但我還是記住了那抹笑容，記住了他的臉容氣質，記住日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyf8H3uRgfT
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxX3l2JMvMG
為何記住？我解釋不了。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOskomun78U
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTL0NmSGEvP
好幾個月過去，夏天轉換為冬。颯颯寒風成功減少場邊女生數目，男生仍然在此閒聊逛蕩。同行朋友忽爾興起，動身到場裡打球。我笑笑婉拒，說吃飽想睡不想動。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFFc2IyHyhG
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ71FFFhTauJ
我獨坐長椅一邊，納悶之際，兩個男生前來佔坐長椅另端空位。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDcGM4VVx9l
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSni4Aif1K9
其中一個是他。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGNHYz5lm9N
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMpFVKVyZ4h
那笑那臉那明暗，歷歷在目。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ6e0iV8NDY
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOl8NpF2e7R
心頭一顫，我馬上別過臉去。數秒後，我稍為冷靜，意識到自己的失態，佯裝無異，繼續觀看球賽。不過他似乎察覺我的異樣，有意無意對我展露笑容——一個意味深長的笑容。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRcyNsv5cyg
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEju8MTVglS
我尷尬離座回課室去。走樓梯至三樓時，他竟從後叫住我。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEZIuqURH2g
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgGwh2ZmWFW
「你遺下銀包。」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡutrEySOIuQ
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXqjShoN4ZZ
「謝謝。」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9WZf7GXdhA
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlzg4dOnRfg
「不用客氣……」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxlvGg27RgN
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxFLFmd8ip0
奇怪。看他忸怩模樣，他似乎還有話要對我說。說甚麼？不是必須相識的陌生人可以如何打開話題？甚或是「為何要展開話題」？622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV70fb48MKl
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb0dxfaYQC8
氣氛尷尬，四目交投，卻不知如何是好。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCWpa6ELU6R
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3MN3jyoBD2
直至提著半滿水桶和微濕地拖的校工在我倆之間經過，彼此才回過神來，甚有默契同時分別從兩個方向離開。我往上，他往下。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡocxs28ed8k
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ23wPErmd39
誰料在午飯時間完結後，我們還是在五樓走廊再次碰面——原來我們都是中五生。由於班別不同、社交圈子不重疊，所以未曾正式認識。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfAEjaOloD7
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeahPnvaCkP
不要緊。現在互相自我介紹就可以。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡADXHizkEKc
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIJh8kMCJiG
「我是文班許家偉。」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡquP1Oe9urg
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbDjLhzg1sD
「我是理班李浩榮。」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmykSbTmhHB
其實我早已知道許家偉。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ26n2AO23Ia
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4X89VIf7Wk
我心儀對象就是喜歡許家偉。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYcHX6aVR5m
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJ9jNZiSIh
被拒絕的心情久久不散。我開始留意許家偉這個人。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiAqr8OjM2n
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVPs7HUw0gx
拜託阿強向文班生打探有關許家偉的事。某文班生說許家偉無啥特別，亦無專長或短處，是個存在感不強的乖學生。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoer2UcCQWM
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpaNkrDDR76
我不明所以——為何心儀對象看上他？622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvYNFQSmDR5
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEnekwI6NQw
不是認為心儀對象定要接受我或是對方必須比我優勝，只是我真的找不到許家偉有何可愛之處。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjA0FhQZw8s
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxqHEOTlOpK
不服氣。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3nJx6EKirj
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIo7iRqlrR3
繼續觀察他。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj0qjMWznRy
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvRSn8fmKRE
匆匆數月，秋去冬來，我對許家偉好奇不減。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJbdxuVbzwo
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZmgtDJisb
某天午餐後，我和阿強發現許家偉獨坐操場長椅，於是立即齊齊上前佔據長椅另端，近距離觀察他。他似乎發現我們的奇異目光，動身離開。正感沒趣，阿強發現地上有一個銀包。查看內裡，看見許家偉的學生證。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwH60gp37u
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC6sP6D3HXt
阿強建議取走內裡金錢和學生證，再將銀包交到校務處。我反對，擔心惹禍上身。阿強問我是否討厭許家偉。我無正面回應，僅是堅持物歸原主。阿強讓步，將銀包遞給我。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwHJ92DIstO
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiAN3u3QAmi
我急步追趕許家偉。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx9q5QUv29u
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxGr0ZejZGx
不明白自己此刻行為。正如阿強所問，我不是討厭許家偉嗎？人前，我一直表達對許家偉的討厭；人後，我曾多次理性分析過自己有沒有討厭他的實質理由。沒有，尤其在我對心儀對象忘情以後。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyPS03VGc8f
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMyRHHY9O75
奈何留意許家偉經已成為我的習慣。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4tD6fnjbj8
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUqQKtlA53M
遠遠看見他的身影，我自然而然打起十二分精神；聽到心儀對象與好友聊天時提及許家偉，我對他的好奇大於對心儀對象的；走經中五級壁報板，會不經意試找許家偉的名字……622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8dbYV1hngB
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTDvwD48qcE
「你遺下了銀包。」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2GKnw7iIVy
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLm6E6cpzqo
「謝謝。」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxqpV39c6ae
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ35rv3CuENz
「不用客氣……」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmCPWqlzIcG
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhTbstSfgvA
經已物歸原主。他道謝，我虛應，然後該是沒有然後。但我們還是愣在原地。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxZNLvl0ckE
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPmMXckjXU1
該要說甚麼？還需要說甚麼？沒有啊！但我們還是原地愣著。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrpvLBAlMM4
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX8eWmgQHgr
他是否一早知道我？他是否早已察覺我在留意他？不會吧……622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtfsdxe86zX
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3SjmUx9TGx
我望入他雙眼。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE2ywYZFlqw
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLHTe6EX7Ex
不。我鐵定他不認識我。他的眼神迷惘疑惑忐忑，似乎在期待甚麼……622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYNsTtM0UCF
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtYBYObtW8m
一名校工在我和許家偉之間走過。我在視線被阻擋當刻回過神來，低頭轉身離開。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLmySgFG9Yf
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhn7iacBOwM
我回到操場側長椅。阿強仍在，問我有否教訓許家偉一頓。我苦笑罵他發神經。阿強收起笑容，認真勸我別壓抑情緒。我說理解許家偉是無辜的，不會繼續討厭他。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv8i6aC2Wim
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfEoNi9uBTV
上課鈴聲響起，學生魚貫回課室去。人群中，我在五樓走廊與許家偉迎個正著。他驚訝之情洋溢於表。我反倒開懷笑了，笑他遲鈍，後知後覺。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOM3DcMrT3p
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ0Ka4kb051
許家偉臉紅，禮貌地點點頭，上前自我介紹。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrQlyoajoW2
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQxYDFLZLZ3
「我是文班許家偉。」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh8JMG2WVlv
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdnKvAsZlv7
「我是理班李浩榮。」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlYCnjMnaJQ
畢業多年，我跟李浩榮從未聯絡過——當我這麼講，舊生聚會上人人皆表出乎意料：「你們當年那麼要好，竟然未曾聯絡一次？」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSozsJ2W7V0
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqZLnm5xgzV
我笑笑點頭，不多解釋。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnEJNaMBeA6
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡypMZXA3jGC
畢業禮當晚，他告訴我，他的心儀對象喜歡我。我問他那女生是誰，我可以當面拒絕她。他說不必，因為他已不愛他。我感到奇怪：如已釋懷，為何重提。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4hEL3D9YRA
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoRleSCmU3H
李浩榮笑笑，笑說他已覺悟，明白人的真正作用。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡepLdOy3RpY
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡndj004v0Z8
聽到這莫名其妙的答案，我就知道他醉了——他喝下很多酒。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmqVE2s6YwR
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWY3GTOvTGm
他說人的真正作用就是將另外兩個不相識的人串連在一起，或是把深交的兩個人分開，例如那女生無意間將我帶到他的人生當中，而我又無意間成為他和青梅竹馬鬧翻原因。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzFArMkubjr
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEizQbjedZq
我大概聽出話裡的話。有點難過，有點無奈，有點害怕——害怕今晚坦白心聲以後，我和李浩榮再無交集。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIDfLCy0xwL
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5erPyvbxnh
但我沒有阻止他。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4qd7NgeZLv
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjqO8WfVb1
他壓抑已久，情感需要釋放。這很可能是我以朋友身份給他的最後禮物。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFh02QDssMA
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIS3Bz3AntV
我慫恿他繼續說下去。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFIFcTMCsZp
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvWc42b9sqy
他跟阿強相識於幼稚園。他倆都是頑皮孩子，經常氣得老師向父母投訴，父母夜裡就來一頓痛打。他們經常看到對方手腫腳瘀，起初會擔心對方身體，後來發現彼此不怕捱打，只怕玩得不痛快。相顧輕笑，再玩再捱打……玩著捱著，二人同甘共苦十四年，彼此之間有一種難以言喻的默契——只有阿強看出他非但未曾討厭我，反倒羨慕我的不起眼。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg7uvhX7iQl
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn3pPdshLcN
我好奇李浩榮何解會羨慕不起眼的人。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjB23domyHp
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwDscIoUyDJ
「不被注意、不被期望，方能活得自由稱心。」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN5NsWoNOxs
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpgzFhyNf87
我問他是否有煩惱，可以向我傾訴，也許我能想出好辦法。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaM8RFQZYxz
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNOCgTqwBdp
李浩榮報以苦笑，沒有正面回答。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSo3ziwjpaH
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqMICFmrJpq
那夜，他喝得爛醉，我送他回家。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8U98FdxVtv
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnlArfUkCqn
伯母應門。是個凶神惡煞的中年婦，語調急促，不帶尾音。她接過李浩榮，留下一句道謝，利落關門。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7tPUEahqo
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvx5PsQVQf4
門關。心頭若有所失——感覺永遠不會再見到李浩榮。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0G5CzPI8pA
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0F1DdJ2OW9
其實沒甚麼大不了。這是人生必經的離合過程。不會令我受到任何傷害，亦不會令我蒙受任何損失。著實沒甚麼大不了。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqNomLRl7gr
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNljgc4j0oI
但我掛念他。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3NR9qUc8F
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNyhbE5m0JN
不是偶然想起，不是遇上麻煩、需要向他求助，不是看見眼熟物件進而聯想。沒錯，是真正的掛念——我無法自欺。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8UXKNAOFMS
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDA55zrRGzq
想起他，我不期然會笑；想起他，我感覺窩心；想起他，我會自覺孤單可憐。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6eQDAh2Gg5
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkap6yX1BMr
我漸漸意識到這是甚麼一回事。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1KQdfGxHm3
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRisOgtZRQC
糟糕了！怎麼辦？怎麼辦！不知道。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ59Enk2dKN
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd7qAJR8zIv
不要說。不要聽。不要見。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡippraUL7GY
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJnzafs49Ay
希望時間會沖淡一切。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl8tAMSjaLX
依稀記得畢業翌日在自家客廳梳化醒來的畫面。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsOFnEomQOM
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡotyz2pMki6
首先映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。眼睛無法於短時間內適應，煞是暈眩，有一股酸餿灼熱自胸腔冒升。想吐。沒法吐。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡccRAH07Q2z
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0xEcHsusya
阿媽沒有理會我，背對我在廚房煲湯。她對著湯煲說：「昨晚是他送你回來。」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQzdWkI4KtO
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKugG1deoyd
我敵不過暈眩與劇烈頭痛，重新軟癱梳化上。沒回話打算，反正阿媽定會繼續說下去。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6HSdUpRpB6
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLeecsNrUHT
「我不明白你為何喜歡他。」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjhMboJQa7T
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxOSSlfSdrd
「我也不明白。」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmpihqShUVT
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3JN8on2Yq4
「那就不要繼續喜歡。」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR95iDcYAvB
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7AFKyVv2Hi
「感覺，並非可以自由控制的。」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqjytfSgPAJ
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOXUDRfs25r
「我亦無法自由控制我的兒子喜歡誰。」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTc8L02WsRQ
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwz5lg9CChJ
「我也無法自由選擇誰是我的母親。」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXSVocxp1U7
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw6HVi9I9AL
「真抱歉——未得你同意就把你生下來。」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1C1DQcsELY
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ23eOr5hrIA
「你該要對我感到抱歉。」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7mvtIP5hD6
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY4OJ1IfT5i
我晦氣，毫不掩飾對她的討厭。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡedJkk7uWG3
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaa4z4F0BCq
阿媽沒再多話，繼續在廚房忙著。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAC8GLaBs9X
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYJ29nH1vV
真要命。人生就是那麼多無謂紛擾。我的人生屬於我，為何旁人總愛插手？622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSYm4I2vLlT
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMamDH31kEm
抵著頭痛，我硬撐起身子小便去。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEKPw3MxLre
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm9LHUlPxhi
在抽氣扇綿延不斷的摩打聲襯托下，小便聲清脆得噁心。噁感令我清醒不少，昨晚回憶開始隱約浮現。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ynukx5F3g
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu0R2NXwAGX
我似乎講過一些不該出口的話。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrs4ppTrxsn
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvsChWoYPic
真的嗎？我真的把話說出口？622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc74XstZ2EE
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK5mFVMAquU
為何這麼驚訝？阿強醉倒後，我特意喝下更多酒，不就是為了把話講出口嗎？622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWu9OmbLajN
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡssCT2Ue5bz
便意盡，醉意消，騰出來的腦空間被後悔和自責分佔了。我呆上半晌才提起褲子洗手去。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvaclRnAzrz
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡADSXkhcFYB
為何要走到這一步？622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9k77BBnnND
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF2jzn9jwiK
阿強早已看出我對許家偉的感情，擔心我走上「歪路」。我有點兒生氣——誰有資格定義這是否歪路。阿強自知沒能說服我，乾脆將觀察所得告訴我媽。性格暴躁的阿媽一反常態，冷靜淡然勸我切勿繼續投放感情。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9DEMeUX0y0
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVLrUdPRkyv
「世人表裡不一。口說開明，實質守舊。」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8QzwTG3xXt
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcFKpneWH44
「是嗎？你呢？你口說放棄，心底裡在支持我吧？」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkaaeKVLs1e
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSfOdGknbit
「別倔強。」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ury7DtSFw
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPIdVFDYnup
「我想要知道你的真正想法！別敷衍！別蒙混！」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHosM8Pl3vQ
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡajUmTwO8eV
「我想你放棄。」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3rvtL8FdsD
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG2UwF6jF9k
「原因？」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJkK50gFLQI
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtDepxVHuh6
「現實終歸是現實的。你將要面對的困難並非單靠信念、希望和愛情就可以解決。」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCXlTqqtbqJ
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoCTJX0ozZH
「我知道。」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrOA6GxipKy
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyAemHwBEVJ
「何解還要繼續下去？」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkaJ7d4qkD9
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjch4hUKd1j
「感情易放難收。」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVfN8O2V9PM
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCQJOLUYNEH
阿媽沒法回嘴——「感情」一詞明確否定了邏輯和理智，她還有何話可說，只得被動地待我回心轉意。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8el0kNwLoP
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxsP9XvjCtF
傍晚，我約見阿強，在公園暗處與他打一架。我們手腫腳瘀，有如兒時被父母教訓一樣。看著彼此頹喪模樣，我既心痛亦生氣——我們的友誼不該淪落至此！我們該可以當一輩子兄弟手足！622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqOI17fHcma
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzfFgZPTDbu
架後，我沒有留下片言隻字，待身體稍稍恢復後首先離開回家去，懶理阿強依然躺在草地上粗喘不已。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEuty3hF80a
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgYTfrhP7BS
阿媽見我身上有傷，許是大概明白那是甚麼一回事，沒有多問，亦不予關心。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL2jgp0vMC9
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjVpqIiWx9v
我不在意，一心思考如何在畢業禮當晚向許家偉表白……622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS7AqZxGIft
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxawYh4Jo9b
畢業禮，是終結也是新開始。學生們穿戴整齊，戰戰兢兢上台領受證書。莘莘學子前途未卜，能夠掌握在手的只有當下。今朝有酒今朝醉，齊齊喝酒齊齊醉。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4KIDsXuPxW
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD4PrmMgPgY
阿強取來一支烈酒，邀我對飲：「追求真愛不是那麼容易。至少要比我更能喝。」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ctSSC4AFG
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSVWeyvKTcr
我欣然接受。他很了解我，許是估計到我將會乘著酒意找許家偉表白去。我唯一擺脫阿強的方法就是先把他灌醉。我們都不是省油的燈，自小經常一起偷偷喝酒，十分清楚對方酒量和醉態——一旦倒下，沒有廿四小時可醒不過來。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVyrRn4eY9T
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIN7ibiKuZ2
小醉。半醉。大醉。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfVgT6BBiGb
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX4qvsXrpgz
阿強半伏枱邊，傻笑問我：「想好如何表白了沒？」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6RvsORb2Ne
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ56vGNjBK5P
「直接講我愛他。」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1WtLP1EA8p
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfyfPoCg1AX
「如果他拒絕？」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ50sfZTHgo5
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrrEWkiPpeL
「沒怎麼樣。就像我之前被女同學拒絕那樣。」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOTNneikxDD
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8XCODw9vBd
「如果他接受了？那怎麼辦？」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjtLoc0QMSR
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6gssnlRCub
「我當然是高興！」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfZMFRx2Pkp
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfizac4pxfN
「我在問，他會怎麼辦？你認為他的內心強大得能夠與你共同面對往後一切？」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNJYvUtvAbs
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1GejSpgygc
阿強問了一個我沒有想及的問題。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD0ScpwRUYR
事隔四十年，我和李浩榮在阿強的喪禮上再次聚頭。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7HWSikBJiu
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0211ZY7oVS
李浩榮說他在畢業禮後與阿強斷絕了聯絡。我為此道歉。他問我為何道歉。我重提他酒後那段說話。他反問我是否真的認為過錯在我。我答不肯定——我無心令他們鬧翻，但我確是他們鬧翻的原因。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNbyZMxVq2r
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN87r0zrFnC
李浩榮苦笑，笑容意味深長。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5TyGzZazeJ
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPCPZEYwMJp
「阿強沒講錯。你真懦弱。」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfur1yxhEWx
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr9v3ABRCWT
「活了那麼多年，經歷那麼多事情，我不得不承認自己的懦弱。」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp0AICjyQh6
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡed54vZbLZt
「你仍然單身？」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYi5sfd1ZIl
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Msom1eRcK
「是的。」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiNHDSbSHO3
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq3lEbYT645
「要我當媒嗎？」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv7YnR50BG4
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBN31Te6sqI
「不了。難為情。」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnFLmFyJPOE
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKijY5te5qy
李浩榮失笑，笑我不值得被愛。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnzPoq57geS
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaslc1bDNyf
我陪笑，笑說我懂得珍愛自己就可以。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDVk6B4YwbU
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡANKHjUw8wk
多寒暄幾句，我和李浩榮相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX4JRND1aAY
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtcN3fUbsWE
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2BqaYqhofj
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmP3GpjcfAh
回家吧。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDtUhkPtGhG
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBG7isPhuKF
開門。門後空洞空虛空蕩蕩。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpB2RP83sOu
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmPSMCQaxf9
「戚戚慘慘悽悽，清清冷冷，覓覓尋尋。」興之所至，我一邊脫鞋，一邊倒背《聲聲慢》首三句。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyjv9exofKc
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9kOSVlpphi
「尋他千百度，驀然回首，那人卻在燈火闌珊處。」沒有脫襪，懶洋洋得撲到梳化上，順口接上《青玉案．元夕》末句。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbwuiZhTKQT
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXZDR231p1j
枕臂望窗，映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。驀地憶起日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗，憶起他的臉容氣質，憶起那抹笑容。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ELDp6qaan
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfsvj4wPxsq
大概是一見鍾情吧。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLiJWQejoSf
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCn4mfTJJB6
奈何我當年愚鈍懵懂，後知後覺。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVsujPIQUYe
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR1ENc3p97k
如果我當年及早清楚知道自己的意向，結果會否不一樣？622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiVeyAeq4Dy
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvDDhb0UBQK
我笑自己想多了：結果會是一樣的。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc98DHQjfKM
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2PLCNDD0oz
我是懦弱的人，我珍愛自己，所以我不會為他人冒險。我寧願花上一輩子去幻想錯過了的美好愛情，亦不會勇敢踏前一步去追求愛情。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKlQnOhgt5u
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa6aNNf4HGY
李浩榮說得沒錯，我不值得被愛。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeLcuMUJP7g
事隔四十年，昔日摯友躺在棺材裡，往日心上人站在我面前。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwBtbtvWtHw
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgLEjSoO6u
百感交集……622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXtuJtMwFyZ
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqNq7yu5w94
當年我為了許家偉與阿強鬧翻，事後亦沒敢聯絡許家偉。同時失去摯友和心上人，情感上的痛令我失眠了好幾年。那時候，還以為痛楚會一直維持下去，有如浪漫淒美感人的愛情電影情節。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1rtcKhzzDH
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlSPCSrXOSc
不過電影終究與現實不同：角色的難忘遭遇濃縮在短短一個半小時裡，情感故此顯得激烈而深刻；現實中的情感必須經過時間洗禮和加入許多愛情以外因素，例如家庭、工作、健康、個人財政等等。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMBQAtpHQex
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcQOjqpncNp
痛楚自然而然被淡化掉。我漸漸忘了阿強的忠肝義膽和許家偉的獨特魅力，直至今日再聚……622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFXMKx8OZw8
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnuVH8fYWdj
「認得我嗎？我是許家偉。」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi7fGFJUlmu
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3vxz5lmlBk
「認得。你是文班的。」622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb21r91PDXq
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeC2PIrzRGT
許家偉淺笑，笑容如昔，淡然清雅溫婉。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxXiB68oxty
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1wrRJ6v2tU
閒聊之間，發現他仍然單身。究其原因，他只道難為情。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0FmUIcR6nI
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkJWpesNFvY
「你不值得被愛。」我蔑笑。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ78qQElVSUw
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3n9Szau3C3
四十年過去，許家偉仍是當初那個許家偉。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeA7XJsVrvi
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuQwGqJpEP5
阿強沒講錯——他的內心不會強大得能夠與我共同面對一切。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXhdfmxZOOW
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyLn1f3rlBo
「我懂得珍愛自己就可以。」許家偉笑著說。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWfcVtSSDtn
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy5pDQywayJ
許家偉在認真？他真心認為這是珍愛自己的行徑？622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6IVEF7o6uA
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡarQQP7OfKu
我哭笑不得。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJQG0pA5hzJ
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVS9zHJyk06
無意跟他繼續對話。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY8soNzXYKD
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2JdvR4L868
多寒暄幾句，我和許家偉相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfb6oEnXIN4
622Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo8kkWBZxsi
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。
