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午餐用膳後，男生們大多會將多餘時間花在學校操場，或場上打籃球，或場外觀賽。我亦不例外，在場邊與同學輕聲討論打球技巧。忘形之際，一個籃球高速自後側飛來，狠狠砸中我右耳耳背。場中男生上前向我連聲道歉，我只道不要緊。男生拾球後繼續回場較勁，沒把事情放心上。當然，我也沒所謂，小事一椿。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡADXMhnuMym
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5r3GWLnYmI
令我在意的反倒是球場另邊有個陌生男生對我微笑。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYKwC41Uhk
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu1WcQkuAlY
匆匆一笑，半秒即逝。他轉頭跟身邊友人繼續說說笑笑。我挺肯定自己想多了——對方不是故意對著我笑，僅是他的站立姿勢及面向角度湊巧朝著我這邊來。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdB36Wfyoj5
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMHhEFgAKU4
但我還是記住了那抹笑容，記住了他的臉容氣質，記住日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡScaO0jl8uR
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSzyHKwrM1G
為何記住？我解釋不了。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡELTZJFwqaO
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFdohjl7MPc
好幾個月過去，夏天轉換為冬。颯颯寒風成功減少場邊女生數目，男生仍然在此閒聊逛蕩。同行朋友忽爾興起，動身到場裡打球。我笑笑婉拒，說吃飽想睡不想動。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡETurjoAoss
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRnXsVnV8K5
我獨坐長椅一邊，納悶之際，兩個男生前來佔坐長椅另端空位。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvxzS6JKXoy
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfK4bfuYWgW
其中一個是他。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAlMbbbp3ma
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtmmquycpfj
那笑那臉那明暗，歷歷在目。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL2bamiL5rJ
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsT5IZaNITb
心頭一顫，我馬上別過臉去。數秒後，我稍為冷靜，意識到自己的失態，佯裝無異，繼續觀看球賽。不過他似乎察覺我的異樣，有意無意對我展露笑容——一個意味深長的笑容。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDmVd95ID9P
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd9YKqdtuQ4
我尷尬離座回課室去。走樓梯至三樓時，他竟從後叫住我。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFkL3trXGLT
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFdg5LJdSNv
「你遺下銀包。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtmSUQ6MCtE
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFSU9usH1js
「謝謝。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7cQCAhgkKT
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8LWW1Z2j2g
「不用客氣……」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW40NLk122V
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc3j9FEtZk3
奇怪。看他忸怩模樣，他似乎還有話要對我說。說甚麼？不是必須相識的陌生人可以如何打開話題？甚或是「為何要展開話題」？593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeEwZPJOD3t
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Z8HHpMoKO
氣氛尷尬，四目交投，卻不知如何是好。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMIIftNQNEx
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYhdkM54fiA
直至提著半滿水桶和微濕地拖的校工在我倆之間經過，彼此才回過神來，甚有默契同時分別從兩個方向離開。我往上，他往下。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡElmtcGfsDj
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI3D8FEKKDU
誰料在午飯時間完結後，我們還是在五樓走廊再次碰面——原來我們都是中五生。由於班別不同、社交圈子不重疊，所以未曾正式認識。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ8u7Z9Cl4e
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXy43ecz2b2
不要緊。現在互相自我介紹就可以。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLIO9wjq5JV
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡALHREOucCp
「我是文班許家偉。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMbTUwADtGU
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3yNg2hVVBc
「我是理班李浩榮。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJoChZYuTJt
其實我早已知道許家偉。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjNsSjLhBdB
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXzQ0PlTSr6
我心儀對象就是喜歡許家偉。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrSTu4bFZb8
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9GEDJKzHQL
被拒絕的心情久久不散。我開始留意許家偉這個人。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5GuJN5CZ5p
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUJjWygLzEC
拜託阿強向文班生打探有關許家偉的事。某文班生說許家偉無啥特別，亦無專長或短處，是個存在感不強的乖學生。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTVsNpVeP3H
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa7ajCSAhhu
我不明所以——為何心儀對象看上他？593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM9ptNpOviO
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb4MHbMK2sI
不是認為心儀對象定要接受我或是對方必須比我優勝，只是我真的找不到許家偉有何可愛之處。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLa3ElPo1N1
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2zFDoPv25X
不服氣。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwitL4q2TMh
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ9b64GIwug
繼續觀察他。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7orJDNLNvV
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA8rnCYDRrV
匆匆數月，秋去冬來，我對許家偉好奇不減。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlbe4ppozrb
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1j5a3MAcbk
某天午餐後，我和阿強發現許家偉獨坐操場長椅，於是立即齊齊上前佔據長椅另端，近距離觀察他。他似乎發現我們的奇異目光，動身離開。正感沒趣，阿強發現地上有一個銀包。查看內裡，看見許家偉的學生證。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUdT356J4le
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM2SEfb3Wmr
阿強建議取走內裡金錢和學生證，再將銀包交到校務處。我反對，擔心惹禍上身。阿強問我是否討厭許家偉。我無正面回應，僅是堅持物歸原主。阿強讓步，將銀包遞給我。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsLnrijCN6d
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhc2auEmg6d
我急步追趕許家偉。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaWyclYVjY6
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTK7Iq4L7lX
不明白自己此刻行為。正如阿強所問，我不是討厭許家偉嗎？人前，我一直表達對許家偉的討厭；人後，我曾多次理性分析過自己有沒有討厭他的實質理由。沒有，尤其在我對心儀對象忘情以後。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8deYqqV1ah
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8xlss3xJQE
奈何留意許家偉經已成為我的習慣。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHXntmB8p5d
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsWgyHgpqpE
遠遠看見他的身影，我自然而然打起十二分精神；聽到心儀對象與好友聊天時提及許家偉，我對他的好奇大於對心儀對象的；走經中五級壁報板，會不經意試找許家偉的名字……593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtIExFqjsFN
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2bLrqcEbTe
「你遺下了銀包。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnhPVKJ4888
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6DJD1c5A3y
「謝謝。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDF1nXc8fmi
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJm98QECZ9M
「不用客氣……」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHwEy3vnv0P
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdzVJ9BGAWZ
經已物歸原主。他道謝，我虛應，然後該是沒有然後。但我們還是愣在原地。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZFA3uXtdgq
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUmFP0J0sYk
該要說甚麼？還需要說甚麼？沒有啊！但我們還是原地愣著。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKobgrcoiZC
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOeVvsjzXMk
他是否一早知道我？他是否早已察覺我在留意他？不會吧……593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCYalyxiYlF
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTP3Gw76GlR
我望入他雙眼。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrce6oaqU2b
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBkCprvadoM
不。我鐵定他不認識我。他的眼神迷惘疑惑忐忑，似乎在期待甚麼……593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtbfufXd0bG
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD57nUcHGkU
一名校工在我和許家偉之間走過。我在視線被阻擋當刻回過神來，低頭轉身離開。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbFBuOhY5YY
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqLgW8So0CV
我回到操場側長椅。阿強仍在，問我有否教訓許家偉一頓。我苦笑罵他發神經。阿強收起笑容，認真勸我別壓抑情緒。我說理解許家偉是無辜的，不會繼續討厭他。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi8f3ATthLV
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTa0RY5mjFZ
上課鈴聲響起，學生魚貫回課室去。人群中，我在五樓走廊與許家偉迎個正著。他驚訝之情洋溢於表。我反倒開懷笑了，笑他遲鈍，後知後覺。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIX65u3lU4y
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8nfmK9aAZo
許家偉臉紅，禮貌地點點頭，上前自我介紹。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbtAz6rtUys
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ212R7WitRv
「我是文班許家偉。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJCe4lYfwm
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy8gcSAiRdB
「我是理班李浩榮。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4z3cA2sV8
畢業多年，我跟李浩榮從未聯絡過——當我這麼講，舊生聚會上人人皆表出乎意料：「你們當年那麼要好，竟然未曾聯絡一次？」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS8dBGA64ZU
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfXCgxbgygl
我笑笑點頭，不多解釋。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRQfn9VZkLJ
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZOrrNFmiJW
畢業禮當晚，他告訴我，他的心儀對象喜歡我。我問他那女生是誰，我可以當面拒絕她。他說不必，因為他已不愛他。我感到奇怪：如已釋懷，為何重提。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbX4tzRI63x
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCokxNgE5w9
李浩榮笑笑，笑說他已覺悟，明白人的真正作用。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ58mmvMvIHb
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa0VHQQZ8Kc
聽到這莫名其妙的答案，我就知道他醉了——他喝下很多酒。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkND76BZSxx
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKqzMH9AzbD
他說人的真正作用就是將另外兩個不相識的人串連在一起，或是把深交的兩個人分開，例如那女生無意間將我帶到他的人生當中，而我又無意間成為他和青梅竹馬鬧翻原因。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlzszGC5Ox4
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6gY38zC9iC
我大概聽出話裡的話。有點難過，有點無奈，有點害怕——害怕今晚坦白心聲以後，我和李浩榮再無交集。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6zButY3VHy
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡslLiQrb7aK
但我沒有阻止他。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3XXnLnAg4f
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGVKC5uBd1Q
他壓抑已久，情感需要釋放。這很可能是我以朋友身份給他的最後禮物。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1TBZwLJORd
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL5Il41hcXI
我慫恿他繼續說下去。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1UKbf1vAOp
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhYNFwpida1
他跟阿強相識於幼稚園。他倆都是頑皮孩子，經常氣得老師向父母投訴，父母夜裡就來一頓痛打。他們經常看到對方手腫腳瘀，起初會擔心對方身體，後來發現彼此不怕捱打，只怕玩得不痛快。相顧輕笑，再玩再捱打……玩著捱著，二人同甘共苦十四年，彼此之間有一種難以言喻的默契——只有阿強看出他非但未曾討厭我，反倒羨慕我的不起眼。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlX8iNvfPrE
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj6wWFL47Ae
我好奇李浩榮何解會羨慕不起眼的人。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP3EygiAcvp
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqypYFrngpm
「不被注意、不被期望，方能活得自由稱心。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrBZ5MzFTNY
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ056eKxh9zZ
我問他是否有煩惱，可以向我傾訴，也許我能想出好辦法。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV4fTyfn4Ad
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSgjIysPiyR
李浩榮報以苦笑，沒有正面回答。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2QDYtjAfLO
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxZLkroHobp
那夜，他喝得爛醉，我送他回家。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhwxNYLU38R
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQOUwiud9T
伯母應門。是個凶神惡煞的中年婦，語調急促，不帶尾音。她接過李浩榮，留下一句道謝，利落關門。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxAI2nocDW0
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSX61x8XTsL
門關。心頭若有所失——感覺永遠不會再見到李浩榮。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9llGEyMMdO
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGooaI6d4JH
其實沒甚麼大不了。這是人生必經的離合過程。不會令我受到任何傷害，亦不會令我蒙受任何損失。著實沒甚麼大不了。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUd44aUjVuF
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡERK07vLENc
但我掛念他。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRvaQD76s29
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV5Pm2blfAv
不是偶然想起，不是遇上麻煩、需要向他求助，不是看見眼熟物件進而聯想。沒錯，是真正的掛念——我無法自欺。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKDJ43bFMMU
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx6QkA2Otjd
想起他，我不期然會笑；想起他，我感覺窩心；想起他，我會自覺孤單可憐。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOpjki8y7ZH
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCvB1XpDP7Q
我漸漸意識到這是甚麼一回事。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAF5vMSuJrc
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0m3oQZfR3p
糟糕了！怎麼辦？怎麼辦！不知道。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIgFF033Mc2
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUZUImpZqZ3
不要說。不要聽。不要見。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW4et2rZus5
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQmlXfDr3zi
希望時間會沖淡一切。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB08bMaQWTk
依稀記得畢業翌日在自家客廳梳化醒來的畫面。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Qsa0jNkNQ
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTGd3KCwcww
首先映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。眼睛無法於短時間內適應，煞是暈眩，有一股酸餿灼熱自胸腔冒升。想吐。沒法吐。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0EIaIQEbiN
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG3BoDXDRwV
阿媽沒有理會我，背對我在廚房煲湯。她對著湯煲說：「昨晚是他送你回來。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlnrTQYWe8T
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3G4L9nNSa5
我敵不過暈眩與劇烈頭痛，重新軟癱梳化上。沒回話打算，反正阿媽定會繼續說下去。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5CBlcBxWJz
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbOzQcyhPBy
「我不明白你為何喜歡他。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfHJdjktv8j
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkhOsX2jLCK
「我也不明白。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4HO96WpGlt
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzTzvsRdx9D
「那就不要繼續喜歡。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2idwzZYOl6
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡixNe9WCvAI
「感覺，並非可以自由控制的。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy9eKEvaUyZ
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡknKlwGBEx6
「我亦無法自由控制我的兒子喜歡誰。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡckhgJscwhz
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJPCdfDYHRZ
「我也無法自由選擇誰是我的母親。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRIkAK7m7XV
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs5z01u21Rf
「真抱歉——未得你同意就把你生下來。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvNgHLDFmsS
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyfiXFrJ6R6
「你該要對我感到抱歉。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPH2kHMXbNN
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhI44q8T0uw
我晦氣，毫不掩飾對她的討厭。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpq1XrywwKn
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9sToLrXhz8
阿媽沒再多話，繼續在廚房忙著。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjUMXNnMIns
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ03NzXVIaUg
真要命。人生就是那麼多無謂紛擾。我的人生屬於我，為何旁人總愛插手？593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDghrIfYDVl
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpptIkSsrnz
抵著頭痛，我硬撐起身子小便去。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUete0GNZJs
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfgruMnHGcz
在抽氣扇綿延不斷的摩打聲襯托下，小便聲清脆得噁心。噁感令我清醒不少，昨晚回憶開始隱約浮現。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSYfwwnNnLw
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcHxiSUv8VV
我似乎講過一些不該出口的話。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiaxeXTqIMF
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKjho4KHlsC
真的嗎？我真的把話說出口？593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡROet87pl9R
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLWBpMGwAWn
為何這麼驚訝？阿強醉倒後，我特意喝下更多酒，不就是為了把話講出口嗎？593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZMVr8pqUMb
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXxxf28biPH
便意盡，醉意消，騰出來的腦空間被後悔和自責分佔了。我呆上半晌才提起褲子洗手去。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMlRpDukLmW
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡudyszrxtJQ
為何要走到這一步？593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnvF6KRxurv
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL7yOVDdldW
阿強早已看出我對許家偉的感情，擔心我走上「歪路」。我有點兒生氣——誰有資格定義這是否歪路。阿強自知沒能說服我，乾脆將觀察所得告訴我媽。性格暴躁的阿媽一反常態，冷靜淡然勸我切勿繼續投放感情。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡveeGQ19WFi
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhpjS9SPzpj
「世人表裡不一。口說開明，實質守舊。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwpzacc68vT
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOHkWNAiqjl
「是嗎？你呢？你口說放棄，心底裡在支持我吧？」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡopXLoHTe3D
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsOQ34EDdKg
「別倔強。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcrXq2HMChn
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqxvmIPEul7
「我想要知道你的真正想法！別敷衍！別蒙混！」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5N71xfZZzo
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZjiIF4xSHl
「我想你放棄。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmUrZ7kBLfo
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJOVw7wxS2
「原因？」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSljZk9CsMg
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZaiY8wHyRQ
「現實終歸是現實的。你將要面對的困難並非單靠信念、希望和愛情就可以解決。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvxW4UoPJvp
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU7Ha2K26MB
「我知道。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxOQdFqe1bi
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuF8wzxuy2a
「何解還要繼續下去？」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDU0XOahiIW
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjU5Jjv9rLZ
「感情易放難收。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBAqDpUYkjR
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyDJGngcUAL
阿媽沒法回嘴——「感情」一詞明確否定了邏輯和理智，她還有何話可說，只得被動地待我回心轉意。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5QSjl4DWfx
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI4UI2ZGpzh
傍晚，我約見阿強，在公園暗處與他打一架。我們手腫腳瘀，有如兒時被父母教訓一樣。看著彼此頹喪模樣，我既心痛亦生氣——我們的友誼不該淪落至此！我們該可以當一輩子兄弟手足！593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUWPt6azpZs
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu6eW366V3O
架後，我沒有留下片言隻字，待身體稍稍恢復後首先離開回家去，懶理阿強依然躺在草地上粗喘不已。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl3h2FPHAT9
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyqnSgNVyMA
阿媽見我身上有傷，許是大概明白那是甚麼一回事，沒有多問，亦不予關心。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAR4q9TuAsz
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjCnRVC5KJV
我不在意，一心思考如何在畢業禮當晚向許家偉表白……593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpbUUmeXnuu
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhGUMnmn1ky
畢業禮，是終結也是新開始。學生們穿戴整齊，戰戰兢兢上台領受證書。莘莘學子前途未卜，能夠掌握在手的只有當下。今朝有酒今朝醉，齊齊喝酒齊齊醉。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIHmVDq7cTq
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkXFUCMuy5Y
阿強取來一支烈酒，邀我對飲：「追求真愛不是那麼容易。至少要比我更能喝。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVgbi0yfFA3
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJhRu53qkb4
我欣然接受。他很了解我，許是估計到我將會乘著酒意找許家偉表白去。我唯一擺脫阿強的方法就是先把他灌醉。我們都不是省油的燈，自小經常一起偷偷喝酒，十分清楚對方酒量和醉態——一旦倒下，沒有廿四小時可醒不過來。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8W0rT25kWg
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaP7flFuSzN
小醉。半醉。大醉。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd3BIVsGWk1
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡihDVccmNGG
阿強半伏枱邊，傻笑問我：「想好如何表白了沒？」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwYRgSPDGtV
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3eHZsR5rbd
「直接講我愛他。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy9JJ2KKACT
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwS3Eeqos6t
「如果他拒絕？」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxmhh1eXAMY
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3TxL6vwwFM
「沒怎麼樣。就像我之前被女同學拒絕那樣。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV8SwWzxDrh
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBcllpiIhyX
「如果他接受了？那怎麼辦？」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6KT9PYPlBA
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBzDKyCXdxC
「我當然是高興！」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRWweOFidjw
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbxjP3Em34e
「我在問，他會怎麼辦？你認為他的內心強大得能夠與你共同面對往後一切？」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGcAiuX4hGo
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz9PBJvaLKB
阿強問了一個我沒有想及的問題。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ18ScM9QkEV
事隔四十年，我和李浩榮在阿強的喪禮上再次聚頭。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs52aTSDlEs
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPl5n6YwioF
李浩榮說他在畢業禮後與阿強斷絕了聯絡。我為此道歉。他問我為何道歉。我重提他酒後那段說話。他反問我是否真的認為過錯在我。我答不肯定——我無心令他們鬧翻，但我確是他們鬧翻的原因。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwSGvfsWdUR
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBnAXzk5A5
李浩榮苦笑，笑容意味深長。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmvh79wKK4I
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKd408B2v3Z
「阿強沒講錯。你真懦弱。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr3GY97GiGX
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaXi7uDS9ci
「活了那麼多年，經歷那麼多事情，我不得不承認自己的懦弱。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZXzeHUI2d4
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3jRpXKdUVZ
「你仍然單身？」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnze9t5UhE9
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfhs8W3niDl
「是的。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg7lRwILQaS
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4TojrsNb6O
「要我當媒嗎？」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHIFJ6J3Uvz
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4FMDI0l24F
「不了。難為情。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcz8IBbraYb
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6mcoKS5hb7
李浩榮失笑，笑我不值得被愛。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLFNIIijXa8
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUEuHL3ddc0
我陪笑，笑說我懂得珍愛自己就可以。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp7sceMubvk
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU6xy66Bscg
多寒暄幾句，我和李浩榮相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUpSVTonu0D
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNGbx3LCx05
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNkqfE74tCx
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1jzjvneUkF
回家吧。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkU3nyRyl0A
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYC4DXkLhaB
開門。門後空洞空虛空蕩蕩。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyzu0hsA9tI
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMpRRugNYd8
「戚戚慘慘悽悽，清清冷冷，覓覓尋尋。」興之所至，我一邊脫鞋，一邊倒背《聲聲慢》首三句。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt2T5EmlIXa
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwRqkl2Ftnk
「尋他千百度，驀然回首，那人卻在燈火闌珊處。」沒有脫襪，懶洋洋得撲到梳化上，順口接上《青玉案．元夕》末句。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt2XEnkDsL2
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCPPRTuWo6b
枕臂望窗，映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。驀地憶起日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗，憶起他的臉容氣質，憶起那抹笑容。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYeSo3WoCKC
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpKly73fhoZ
大概是一見鍾情吧。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNjOqv0bFcX
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnoZ1opErug
奈何我當年愚鈍懵懂，後知後覺。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ535JbpCD6U
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUZ1LzB9Qqk
如果我當年及早清楚知道自己的意向，結果會否不一樣？593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjdpcuGeP64
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGV0mXYMJCC
我笑自己想多了：結果會是一樣的。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡafnAAR2LYD
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgfBXokxYEY
我是懦弱的人，我珍愛自己，所以我不會為他人冒險。我寧願花上一輩子去幻想錯過了的美好愛情，亦不會勇敢踏前一步去追求愛情。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKPpnVpGkZj
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjK4Zhq7ZGk
李浩榮說得沒錯，我不值得被愛。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeVE9F1lJM6
事隔四十年，昔日摯友躺在棺材裡，往日心上人站在我面前。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhmXDT8o3yo
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1nEaTmUC91
百感交集……593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVSyEYUMhBl
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk5od0D2BqO
當年我為了許家偉與阿強鬧翻，事後亦沒敢聯絡許家偉。同時失去摯友和心上人，情感上的痛令我失眠了好幾年。那時候，還以為痛楚會一直維持下去，有如浪漫淒美感人的愛情電影情節。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZU2W9REZdc
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh1dVMA40FI
不過電影終究與現實不同：角色的難忘遭遇濃縮在短短一個半小時裡，情感故此顯得激烈而深刻；現實中的情感必須經過時間洗禮和加入許多愛情以外因素，例如家庭、工作、健康、個人財政等等。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPH24COdevU
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6eAQWZYo4x
痛楚自然而然被淡化掉。我漸漸忘了阿強的忠肝義膽和許家偉的獨特魅力，直至今日再聚……593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqjog3JUalz
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9LCKmfXkin
「認得我嗎？我是許家偉。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXB8at6H44a
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7YhOPTQ0Bs
「認得。你是文班的。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJelCVajnN1
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsKe6y4PTkA
許家偉淺笑，笑容如昔，淡然清雅溫婉。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHqUhBOxfeq
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQhsxsqstC6
閒聊之間，發現他仍然單身。究其原因，他只道難為情。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbCHWa0MTqq
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMS6Yrz18Tf
「你不值得被愛。」我蔑笑。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkPza4SK6Vx
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAcvYuxuXI3
四十年過去，許家偉仍是當初那個許家偉。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcnM7cKXmad
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1P832caoNy
阿強沒講錯——他的內心不會強大得能夠與我共同面對一切。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhFE6sRRIHF
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFAcFa7KuPg
「我懂得珍愛自己就可以。」許家偉笑著說。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOGkL5mUWsI
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOBYvVkXbUs
許家偉在認真？他真心認為這是珍愛自己的行徑？593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDiLiX1FM7X
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQBTK6srf6
我哭笑不得。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7e9Zmo8zYx
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ21uZKlRLhH
無意跟他繼續對話。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBmVEPkvfwh
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYv6HTs3LhB
多寒暄幾句，我和許家偉相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyNdNIygqAw
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡedvD3c4pF5
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。
