
午餐用膳後,男生們大多會將多餘時間花在學校操場,或場上打籃球,或場外觀賽。我亦不例外,在場邊與同學輕聲討論打球技巧。忘形之際,一個籃球高速自後側飛來,狠狠砸中我右耳耳背。場中男生上前向我連聲道歉,我只道不要緊。男生拾球後繼續回場較勁,沒把事情放心上。當然,我也沒所謂,小事一椿。593Please respect copyright.PENANAADXMhnuMym
593Please respect copyright.PENANA5r3GWLnYmI
令我在意的反倒是球場另邊有個陌生男生對我微笑。593Please respect copyright.PENANAdYKwC41Uhk
593Please respect copyright.PENANAu1WcQkuAlY
匆匆一笑,半秒即逝。他轉頭跟身邊友人繼續說說笑笑。我挺肯定自己想多了——對方不是故意對著我笑,僅是他的站立姿勢及面向角度湊巧朝著我這邊來。593Please respect copyright.PENANAdB36Wfyoj5
593Please respect copyright.PENANAMHhEFgAKU4
但我還是記住了那抹笑容,記住了他的臉容氣質,記住日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗。593Please respect copyright.PENANAScaO0jl8uR
593Please respect copyright.PENANASzyHKwrM1G
為何記住?我解釋不了。593Please respect copyright.PENANAELTZJFwqaO
593Please respect copyright.PENANAFdohjl7MPc
好幾個月過去,夏天轉換為冬。颯颯寒風成功減少場邊女生數目,男生仍然在此閒聊逛蕩。同行朋友忽爾興起,動身到場裡打球。我笑笑婉拒,說吃飽想睡不想動。593Please respect copyright.PENANAETurjoAoss
593Please respect copyright.PENANARnXsVnV8K5
我獨坐長椅一邊,納悶之際,兩個男生前來佔坐長椅另端空位。593Please respect copyright.PENANAvxzS6JKXoy
593Please respect copyright.PENANAfK4bfuYWgW
其中一個是他。593Please respect copyright.PENANAAlMbbbp3ma
593Please respect copyright.PENANAtmmquycpfj
那笑那臉那明暗,歷歷在目。593Please respect copyright.PENANAL2bamiL5rJ
593Please respect copyright.PENANAsT5IZaNITb
心頭一顫,我馬上別過臉去。數秒後,我稍為冷靜,意識到自己的失態,佯裝無異,繼續觀看球賽。不過他似乎察覺我的異樣,有意無意對我展露笑容——一個意味深長的笑容。593Please respect copyright.PENANADmVd95ID9P
593Please respect copyright.PENANAd9YKqdtuQ4
我尷尬離座回課室去。走樓梯至三樓時,他竟從後叫住我。593Please respect copyright.PENANAFkL3trXGLT
593Please respect copyright.PENANAFdg5LJdSNv
「你遺下銀包。」593Please respect copyright.PENANAtmSUQ6MCtE
593Please respect copyright.PENANAFSU9usH1js
「謝謝。」593Please respect copyright.PENANA7cQCAhgkKT
593Please respect copyright.PENANA8LWW1Z2j2g
「不用客氣……」593Please respect copyright.PENANAW40NLk122V
593Please respect copyright.PENANAc3j9FEtZk3
奇怪。看他忸怩模樣,他似乎還有話要對我說。說甚麼?不是必須相識的陌生人可以如何打開話題?甚或是「為何要展開話題」?593Please respect copyright.PENANAeEwZPJOD3t
593Please respect copyright.PENANA2Z8HHpMoKO
氣氛尷尬,四目交投,卻不知如何是好。593Please respect copyright.PENANAMIIftNQNEx
593Please respect copyright.PENANAYhdkM54fiA
直至提著半滿水桶和微濕地拖的校工在我倆之間經過,彼此才回過神來,甚有默契同時分別從兩個方向離開。我往上,他往下。593Please respect copyright.PENANAElmtcGfsDj
593Please respect copyright.PENANAI3D8FEKKDU
誰料在午飯時間完結後,我們還是在五樓走廊再次碰面——原來我們都是中五生。由於班別不同、社交圈子不重疊,所以未曾正式認識。593Please respect copyright.PENANAQ8u7Z9Cl4e
593Please respect copyright.PENANAXy43ecz2b2
不要緊。現在互相自我介紹就可以。593Please respect copyright.PENANALIO9wjq5JV
593Please respect copyright.PENANAALHREOucCp
「我是文班許家偉。」593Please respect copyright.PENANAMbTUwADtGU
593Please respect copyright.PENANA3yNg2hVVBc
「我是理班李浩榮。」593Please respect copyright.PENANAJoChZYuTJt
其實我早已知道許家偉。593Please respect copyright.PENANAjNsSjLhBdB
593Please respect copyright.PENANAXzQ0PlTSr6
我心儀對象就是喜歡許家偉。593Please respect copyright.PENANArSTu4bFZb8
593Please respect copyright.PENANA9GEDJKzHQL
被拒絕的心情久久不散。我開始留意許家偉這個人。593Please respect copyright.PENANA5GuJN5CZ5p
593Please respect copyright.PENANAUJjWygLzEC
拜託阿強向文班生打探有關許家偉的事。某文班生說許家偉無啥特別,亦無專長或短處,是個存在感不強的乖學生。593Please respect copyright.PENANATVsNpVeP3H
593Please respect copyright.PENANAa7ajCSAhhu
我不明所以——為何心儀對象看上他?593Please respect copyright.PENANAM9ptNpOviO
593Please respect copyright.PENANAb4MHbMK2sI
不是認為心儀對象定要接受我或是對方必須比我優勝,只是我真的找不到許家偉有何可愛之處。593Please respect copyright.PENANALa3ElPo1N1
593Please respect copyright.PENANA2zFDoPv25X
不服氣。593Please respect copyright.PENANAwitL4q2TMh
593Please respect copyright.PENANAZ9b64GIwug
繼續觀察他。593Please respect copyright.PENANA7orJDNLNvV
593Please respect copyright.PENANAA8rnCYDRrV
匆匆數月,秋去冬來,我對許家偉好奇不減。593Please respect copyright.PENANAlbe4ppozrb
593Please respect copyright.PENANA1j5a3MAcbk
某天午餐後,我和阿強發現許家偉獨坐操場長椅,於是立即齊齊上前佔據長椅另端,近距離觀察他。他似乎發現我們的奇異目光,動身離開。正感沒趣,阿強發現地上有一個銀包。查看內裡,看見許家偉的學生證。593Please respect copyright.PENANAUdT356J4le
593Please respect copyright.PENANAM2SEfb3Wmr
阿強建議取走內裡金錢和學生證,再將銀包交到校務處。我反對,擔心惹禍上身。阿強問我是否討厭許家偉。我無正面回應,僅是堅持物歸原主。阿強讓步,將銀包遞給我。593Please respect copyright.PENANAsLnrijCN6d
593Please respect copyright.PENANAhc2auEmg6d
我急步追趕許家偉。593Please respect copyright.PENANAaWyclYVjY6
593Please respect copyright.PENANATK7Iq4L7lX
不明白自己此刻行為。正如阿強所問,我不是討厭許家偉嗎?人前,我一直表達對許家偉的討厭;人後,我曾多次理性分析過自己有沒有討厭他的實質理由。沒有,尤其在我對心儀對象忘情以後。593Please respect copyright.PENANA8deYqqV1ah
593Please respect copyright.PENANA8xlss3xJQE
奈何留意許家偉經已成為我的習慣。593Please respect copyright.PENANAHXntmB8p5d
593Please respect copyright.PENANAsWgyHgpqpE
遠遠看見他的身影,我自然而然打起十二分精神;聽到心儀對象與好友聊天時提及許家偉,我對他的好奇大於對心儀對象的;走經中五級壁報板,會不經意試找許家偉的名字……593Please respect copyright.PENANAtIExFqjsFN
593Please respect copyright.PENANA2bLrqcEbTe
「你遺下了銀包。」593Please respect copyright.PENANAnhPVKJ4888
593Please respect copyright.PENANA6DJD1c5A3y
「謝謝。」593Please respect copyright.PENANADF1nXc8fmi
593Please respect copyright.PENANAJm98QECZ9M
「不用客氣……」593Please respect copyright.PENANAHwEy3vnv0P
593Please respect copyright.PENANAdzVJ9BGAWZ
經已物歸原主。他道謝,我虛應,然後該是沒有然後。但我們還是愣在原地。593Please respect copyright.PENANAZFA3uXtdgq
593Please respect copyright.PENANAUmFP0J0sYk
該要說甚麼?還需要說甚麼?沒有啊!但我們還是原地愣著。593Please respect copyright.PENANAKobgrcoiZC
593Please respect copyright.PENANAOeVvsjzXMk
他是否一早知道我?他是否早已察覺我在留意他?不會吧……593Please respect copyright.PENANACYalyxiYlF
593Please respect copyright.PENANATP3Gw76GlR
我望入他雙眼。593Please respect copyright.PENANArce6oaqU2b
593Please respect copyright.PENANABkCprvadoM
不。我鐵定他不認識我。他的眼神迷惘疑惑忐忑,似乎在期待甚麼……593Please respect copyright.PENANAtbfufXd0bG
593Please respect copyright.PENANAD57nUcHGkU
一名校工在我和許家偉之間走過。我在視線被阻擋當刻回過神來,低頭轉身離開。593Please respect copyright.PENANAbFBuOhY5YY
593Please respect copyright.PENANAqLgW8So0CV
我回到操場側長椅。阿強仍在,問我有否教訓許家偉一頓。我苦笑罵他發神經。阿強收起笑容,認真勸我別壓抑情緒。我說理解許家偉是無辜的,不會繼續討厭他。593Please respect copyright.PENANAi8f3ATthLV
593Please respect copyright.PENANATa0RY5mjFZ
上課鈴聲響起,學生魚貫回課室去。人群中,我在五樓走廊與許家偉迎個正著。他驚訝之情洋溢於表。我反倒開懷笑了,笑他遲鈍,後知後覺。593Please respect copyright.PENANAIX65u3lU4y
593Please respect copyright.PENANA8nfmK9aAZo
許家偉臉紅,禮貌地點點頭,上前自我介紹。593Please respect copyright.PENANAbtAz6rtUys
593Please respect copyright.PENANA212R7WitRv
「我是文班許家偉。」593Please respect copyright.PENANApJCe4lYfwm
593Please respect copyright.PENANAy8gcSAiRdB
「我是理班李浩榮。」593Please respect copyright.PENANAp4z3cA2sV8
畢業多年,我跟李浩榮從未聯絡過——當我這麼講,舊生聚會上人人皆表出乎意料:「你們當年那麼要好,竟然未曾聯絡一次?」593Please respect copyright.PENANAS8dBGA64ZU
593Please respect copyright.PENANAfXCgxbgygl
我笑笑點頭,不多解釋。593Please respect copyright.PENANARQfn9VZkLJ
593Please respect copyright.PENANAZOrrNFmiJW
畢業禮當晚,他告訴我,他的心儀對象喜歡我。我問他那女生是誰,我可以當面拒絕她。他說不必,因為他已不愛他。我感到奇怪:如已釋懷,為何重提。593Please respect copyright.PENANAbX4tzRI63x
593Please respect copyright.PENANACokxNgE5w9
李浩榮笑笑,笑說他已覺悟,明白人的真正作用。593Please respect copyright.PENANA58mmvMvIHb
593Please respect copyright.PENANAa0VHQQZ8Kc
聽到這莫名其妙的答案,我就知道他醉了——他喝下很多酒。593Please respect copyright.PENANAkND76BZSxx
593Please respect copyright.PENANAKqzMH9AzbD
他說人的真正作用就是將另外兩個不相識的人串連在一起,或是把深交的兩個人分開,例如那女生無意間將我帶到他的人生當中,而我又無意間成為他和青梅竹馬鬧翻原因。593Please respect copyright.PENANAlzszGC5Ox4
593Please respect copyright.PENANA6gY38zC9iC
我大概聽出話裡的話。有點難過,有點無奈,有點害怕——害怕今晚坦白心聲以後,我和李浩榮再無交集。593Please respect copyright.PENANA6zButY3VHy
593Please respect copyright.PENANAslLiQrb7aK
但我沒有阻止他。593Please respect copyright.PENANA3XXnLnAg4f
593Please respect copyright.PENANAGVKC5uBd1Q
他壓抑已久,情感需要釋放。這很可能是我以朋友身份給他的最後禮物。593Please respect copyright.PENANA1TBZwLJORd
593Please respect copyright.PENANAL5Il41hcXI
我慫恿他繼續說下去。593Please respect copyright.PENANA1UKbf1vAOp
593Please respect copyright.PENANAhYNFwpida1
他跟阿強相識於幼稚園。他倆都是頑皮孩子,經常氣得老師向父母投訴,父母夜裡就來一頓痛打。他們經常看到對方手腫腳瘀,起初會擔心對方身體,後來發現彼此不怕捱打,只怕玩得不痛快。相顧輕笑,再玩再捱打……玩著捱著,二人同甘共苦十四年,彼此之間有一種難以言喻的默契——只有阿強看出他非但未曾討厭我,反倒羨慕我的不起眼。593Please respect copyright.PENANAlX8iNvfPrE
593Please respect copyright.PENANAj6wWFL47Ae
我好奇李浩榮何解會羨慕不起眼的人。593Please respect copyright.PENANAP3EygiAcvp
593Please respect copyright.PENANAqypYFrngpm
「不被注意、不被期望,方能活得自由稱心。」593Please respect copyright.PENANArBZ5MzFTNY
593Please respect copyright.PENANA056eKxh9zZ
我問他是否有煩惱,可以向我傾訴,也許我能想出好辦法。593Please respect copyright.PENANAV4fTyfn4Ad
593Please respect copyright.PENANASgjIysPiyR
李浩榮報以苦笑,沒有正面回答。593Please respect copyright.PENANA2QDYtjAfLO
593Please respect copyright.PENANAxZLkroHobp
那夜,他喝得爛醉,我送他回家。593Please respect copyright.PENANAhwxNYLU38R
593Please respect copyright.PENANAzQOUwiud9T
伯母應門。是個凶神惡煞的中年婦,語調急促,不帶尾音。她接過李浩榮,留下一句道謝,利落關門。593Please respect copyright.PENANAxAI2nocDW0
593Please respect copyright.PENANASX61x8XTsL
門關。心頭若有所失——感覺永遠不會再見到李浩榮。593Please respect copyright.PENANA9llGEyMMdO
593Please respect copyright.PENANAGooaI6d4JH
其實沒甚麼大不了。這是人生必經的離合過程。不會令我受到任何傷害,亦不會令我蒙受任何損失。著實沒甚麼大不了。593Please respect copyright.PENANAUd44aUjVuF
593Please respect copyright.PENANAERK07vLENc
但我掛念他。593Please respect copyright.PENANARvaQD76s29
593Please respect copyright.PENANAV5Pm2blfAv
不是偶然想起,不是遇上麻煩、需要向他求助,不是看見眼熟物件進而聯想。沒錯,是真正的掛念——我無法自欺。593Please respect copyright.PENANAKDJ43bFMMU
593Please respect copyright.PENANAx6QkA2Otjd
想起他,我不期然會笑;想起他,我感覺窩心;想起他,我會自覺孤單可憐。593Please respect copyright.PENANAOpjki8y7ZH
593Please respect copyright.PENANACvB1XpDP7Q
我漸漸意識到這是甚麼一回事。593Please respect copyright.PENANAAF5vMSuJrc
593Please respect copyright.PENANA0m3oQZfR3p
糟糕了!怎麼辦?怎麼辦!不知道。593Please respect copyright.PENANAIgFF033Mc2
593Please respect copyright.PENANAUZUImpZqZ3
不要說。不要聽。不要見。593Please respect copyright.PENANAW4et2rZus5
593Please respect copyright.PENANAQmlXfDr3zi
希望時間會沖淡一切。593Please respect copyright.PENANAB08bMaQWTk
依稀記得畢業翌日在自家客廳梳化醒來的畫面。593Please respect copyright.PENANA5Qsa0jNkNQ
593Please respect copyright.PENANATGd3KCwcww
首先映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起,窗外日光耀眼得刺痛,室內與室外亮度差異極大。眼睛無法於短時間內適應,煞是暈眩,有一股酸餿灼熱自胸腔冒升。想吐。沒法吐。593Please respect copyright.PENANA0EIaIQEbiN
593Please respect copyright.PENANAG3BoDXDRwV
阿媽沒有理會我,背對我在廚房煲湯。她對著湯煲說:「昨晚是他送你回來。」593Please respect copyright.PENANAlnrTQYWe8T
593Please respect copyright.PENANA3G4L9nNSa5
我敵不過暈眩與劇烈頭痛,重新軟癱梳化上。沒回話打算,反正阿媽定會繼續說下去。593Please respect copyright.PENANA5CBlcBxWJz
593Please respect copyright.PENANAbOzQcyhPBy
「我不明白你為何喜歡他。」593Please respect copyright.PENANAfHJdjktv8j
593Please respect copyright.PENANAkhOsX2jLCK
「我也不明白。」593Please respect copyright.PENANA4HO96WpGlt
593Please respect copyright.PENANAzTzvsRdx9D
「那就不要繼續喜歡。」593Please respect copyright.PENANA2idwzZYOl6
593Please respect copyright.PENANAixNe9WCvAI
「感覺,並非可以自由控制的。」593Please respect copyright.PENANAy9eKEvaUyZ
593Please respect copyright.PENANAknKlwGBEx6
「我亦無法自由控制我的兒子喜歡誰。」593Please respect copyright.PENANAckhgJscwhz
593Please respect copyright.PENANAJPCdfDYHRZ
「我也無法自由選擇誰是我的母親。」593Please respect copyright.PENANARIkAK7m7XV
593Please respect copyright.PENANAs5z01u21Rf
「真抱歉——未得你同意就把你生下來。」593Please respect copyright.PENANAvNgHLDFmsS
593Please respect copyright.PENANAyfiXFrJ6R6
「你該要對我感到抱歉。」593Please respect copyright.PENANAPH2kHMXbNN
593Please respect copyright.PENANAhI44q8T0uw
我晦氣,毫不掩飾對她的討厭。593Please respect copyright.PENANApq1XrywwKn
593Please respect copyright.PENANA9sToLrXhz8
阿媽沒再多話,繼續在廚房忙著。593Please respect copyright.PENANAjUMXNnMIns
593Please respect copyright.PENANA03NzXVIaUg
真要命。人生就是那麼多無謂紛擾。我的人生屬於我,為何旁人總愛插手?593Please respect copyright.PENANADghrIfYDVl
593Please respect copyright.PENANApptIkSsrnz
抵著頭痛,我硬撐起身子小便去。593Please respect copyright.PENANAUete0GNZJs
593Please respect copyright.PENANAfgruMnHGcz
在抽氣扇綿延不斷的摩打聲襯托下,小便聲清脆得噁心。噁感令我清醒不少,昨晚回憶開始隱約浮現。593Please respect copyright.PENANASYfwwnNnLw
593Please respect copyright.PENANAcHxiSUv8VV
我似乎講過一些不該出口的話。593Please respect copyright.PENANAiaxeXTqIMF
593Please respect copyright.PENANAKjho4KHlsC
真的嗎?我真的把話說出口?593Please respect copyright.PENANAROet87pl9R
593Please respect copyright.PENANALWBpMGwAWn
為何這麼驚訝?阿強醉倒後,我特意喝下更多酒,不就是為了把話講出口嗎?593Please respect copyright.PENANAZMVr8pqUMb
593Please respect copyright.PENANAXxxf28biPH
便意盡,醉意消,騰出來的腦空間被後悔和自責分佔了。我呆上半晌才提起褲子洗手去。593Please respect copyright.PENANAMlRpDukLmW
593Please respect copyright.PENANAudyszrxtJQ
為何要走到這一步?593Please respect copyright.PENANAnvF6KRxurv
593Please respect copyright.PENANAL7yOVDdldW
阿強早已看出我對許家偉的感情,擔心我走上「歪路」。我有點兒生氣——誰有資格定義這是否歪路。阿強自知沒能說服我,乾脆將觀察所得告訴我媽。性格暴躁的阿媽一反常態,冷靜淡然勸我切勿繼續投放感情。593Please respect copyright.PENANAveeGQ19WFi
593Please respect copyright.PENANAhpjS9SPzpj
「世人表裡不一。口說開明,實質守舊。」593Please respect copyright.PENANAwpzacc68vT
593Please respect copyright.PENANAOHkWNAiqjl
「是嗎?你呢?你口說放棄,心底裡在支持我吧?」593Please respect copyright.PENANAopXLoHTe3D
593Please respect copyright.PENANAsOQ34EDdKg
「別倔強。」593Please respect copyright.PENANAcrXq2HMChn
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「我想要知道你的真正想法!別敷衍!別蒙混!」593Please respect copyright.PENANA5N71xfZZzo
593Please respect copyright.PENANAZjiIF4xSHl
「我想你放棄。」593Please respect copyright.PENANAmUrZ7kBLfo
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「原因?」593Please respect copyright.PENANASljZk9CsMg
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「現實終歸是現實的。你將要面對的困難並非單靠信念、希望和愛情就可以解決。」593Please respect copyright.PENANAvxW4UoPJvp
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「我知道。」593Please respect copyright.PENANAxOQdFqe1bi
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「何解還要繼續下去?」593Please respect copyright.PENANADU0XOahiIW
593Please respect copyright.PENANAjU5Jjv9rLZ
「感情易放難收。」593Please respect copyright.PENANABAqDpUYkjR
593Please respect copyright.PENANAyDJGngcUAL
阿媽沒法回嘴——「感情」一詞明確否定了邏輯和理智,她還有何話可說,只得被動地待我回心轉意。593Please respect copyright.PENANA5QSjl4DWfx
593Please respect copyright.PENANAI4UI2ZGpzh
傍晚,我約見阿強,在公園暗處與他打一架。我們手腫腳瘀,有如兒時被父母教訓一樣。看著彼此頹喪模樣,我既心痛亦生氣——我們的友誼不該淪落至此!我們該可以當一輩子兄弟手足!593Please respect copyright.PENANAUWPt6azpZs
593Please respect copyright.PENANAu6eW366V3O
架後,我沒有留下片言隻字,待身體稍稍恢復後首先離開回家去,懶理阿強依然躺在草地上粗喘不已。593Please respect copyright.PENANAl3h2FPHAT9
593Please respect copyright.PENANAyqnSgNVyMA
阿媽見我身上有傷,許是大概明白那是甚麼一回事,沒有多問,亦不予關心。593Please respect copyright.PENANAAR4q9TuAsz
593Please respect copyright.PENANAjCnRVC5KJV
我不在意,一心思考如何在畢業禮當晚向許家偉表白……593Please respect copyright.PENANApbUUmeXnuu
593Please respect copyright.PENANAhGUMnmn1ky
畢業禮,是終結也是新開始。學生們穿戴整齊,戰戰兢兢上台領受證書。莘莘學子前途未卜,能夠掌握在手的只有當下。今朝有酒今朝醉,齊齊喝酒齊齊醉。593Please respect copyright.PENANAIHmVDq7cTq
593Please respect copyright.PENANAkXFUCMuy5Y
阿強取來一支烈酒,邀我對飲:「追求真愛不是那麼容易。至少要比我更能喝。」593Please respect copyright.PENANAVgbi0yfFA3
593Please respect copyright.PENANAJhRu53qkb4
我欣然接受。他很了解我,許是估計到我將會乘著酒意找許家偉表白去。我唯一擺脫阿強的方法就是先把他灌醉。我們都不是省油的燈,自小經常一起偷偷喝酒,十分清楚對方酒量和醉態——一旦倒下,沒有廿四小時可醒不過來。593Please respect copyright.PENANA8W0rT25kWg
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小醉。半醉。大醉。593Please respect copyright.PENANAd3BIVsGWk1
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阿強半伏枱邊,傻笑問我:「想好如何表白了沒?」593Please respect copyright.PENANAwYRgSPDGtV
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「直接講我愛他。」593Please respect copyright.PENANAy9JJ2KKACT
593Please respect copyright.PENANAwS3Eeqos6t
「如果他拒絕?」593Please respect copyright.PENANAxmhh1eXAMY
593Please respect copyright.PENANA3TxL6vwwFM
「沒怎麼樣。就像我之前被女同學拒絕那樣。」593Please respect copyright.PENANAV8SwWzxDrh
593Please respect copyright.PENANABcllpiIhyX
「如果他接受了?那怎麼辦?」593Please respect copyright.PENANA6KT9PYPlBA
593Please respect copyright.PENANABzDKyCXdxC
「我當然是高興!」593Please respect copyright.PENANARWweOFidjw
593Please respect copyright.PENANAbxjP3Em34e
「我在問,他會怎麼辦?你認為他的內心強大得能夠與你共同面對往後一切?」593Please respect copyright.PENANAGcAiuX4hGo
593Please respect copyright.PENANAz9PBJvaLKB
阿強問了一個我沒有想及的問題。593Please respect copyright.PENANA18ScM9QkEV
事隔四十年,我和李浩榮在阿強的喪禮上再次聚頭。593Please respect copyright.PENANAs52aTSDlEs
593Please respect copyright.PENANAPl5n6YwioF
李浩榮說他在畢業禮後與阿強斷絕了聯絡。我為此道歉。他問我為何道歉。我重提他酒後那段說話。他反問我是否真的認為過錯在我。我答不肯定——我無心令他們鬧翻,但我確是他們鬧翻的原因。593Please respect copyright.PENANAwSGvfsWdUR
593Please respect copyright.PENANANBnAXzk5A5
李浩榮苦笑,笑容意味深長。593Please respect copyright.PENANAmvh79wKK4I
593Please respect copyright.PENANAKd408B2v3Z
「阿強沒講錯。你真懦弱。」593Please respect copyright.PENANAr3GY97GiGX
593Please respect copyright.PENANAaXi7uDS9ci
「活了那麼多年,經歷那麼多事情,我不得不承認自己的懦弱。」593Please respect copyright.PENANAZXzeHUI2d4
593Please respect copyright.PENANA3jRpXKdUVZ
「你仍然單身?」593Please respect copyright.PENANAnze9t5UhE9
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「是的。」593Please respect copyright.PENANAg7lRwILQaS
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「要我當媒嗎?」593Please respect copyright.PENANAHIFJ6J3Uvz
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「不了。難為情。」593Please respect copyright.PENANAcz8IBbraYb
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李浩榮失笑,笑我不值得被愛。593Please respect copyright.PENANALFNIIijXa8
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我陪笑,笑說我懂得珍愛自己就可以。593Please respect copyright.PENANAp7sceMubvk
593Please respect copyright.PENANAU6xy66Bscg
多寒暄幾句,我和李浩榮相互道別,分道揚鑣不復見。593Please respect copyright.PENANAUpSVTonu0D
593Please respect copyright.PENANANGbx3LCx05
抬頭望天,天陰雨冷,冷入心脾。593Please respect copyright.PENANANkqfE74tCx
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回家吧。593Please respect copyright.PENANAkU3nyRyl0A
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開門。門後空洞空虛空蕩蕩。593Please respect copyright.PENANAyzu0hsA9tI
593Please respect copyright.PENANAMpRRugNYd8
「戚戚慘慘悽悽,清清冷冷,覓覓尋尋。」興之所至,我一邊脫鞋,一邊倒背《聲聲慢》首三句。593Please respect copyright.PENANAt2T5EmlIXa
593Please respect copyright.PENANAwRqkl2Ftnk
「尋他千百度,驀然回首,那人卻在燈火闌珊處。」沒有脫襪,懶洋洋得撲到梳化上,順口接上《青玉案.元夕》末句。593Please respect copyright.PENANAt2XEnkDsL2
593Please respect copyright.PENANACPPRTuWo6b
枕臂望窗,映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起,窗外日光耀眼得刺痛,室內與室外亮度差異極大。驀地憶起日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗,憶起他的臉容氣質,憶起那抹笑容。593Please respect copyright.PENANAYeSo3WoCKC
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大概是一見鍾情吧。593Please respect copyright.PENANANjOqv0bFcX
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奈何我當年愚鈍懵懂,後知後覺。593Please respect copyright.PENANA535JbpCD6U
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如果我當年及早清楚知道自己的意向,結果會否不一樣?593Please respect copyright.PENANAjdpcuGeP64
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我笑自己想多了:結果會是一樣的。593Please respect copyright.PENANAafnAAR2LYD
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我是懦弱的人,我珍愛自己,所以我不會為他人冒險。我寧願花上一輩子去幻想錯過了的美好愛情,亦不會勇敢踏前一步去追求愛情。593Please respect copyright.PENANAKPpnVpGkZj
593Please respect copyright.PENANAjK4Zhq7ZGk
李浩榮說得沒錯,我不值得被愛。593Please respect copyright.PENANAeVE9F1lJM6
事隔四十年,昔日摯友躺在棺材裡,往日心上人站在我面前。593Please respect copyright.PENANAhmXDT8o3yo
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百感交集……593Please respect copyright.PENANAVSyEYUMhBl
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當年我為了許家偉與阿強鬧翻,事後亦沒敢聯絡許家偉。同時失去摯友和心上人,情感上的痛令我失眠了好幾年。那時候,還以為痛楚會一直維持下去,有如浪漫淒美感人的愛情電影情節。593Please respect copyright.PENANAZU2W9REZdc
593Please respect copyright.PENANAh1dVMA40FI
不過電影終究與現實不同:角色的難忘遭遇濃縮在短短一個半小時裡,情感故此顯得激烈而深刻;現實中的情感必須經過時間洗禮和加入許多愛情以外因素,例如家庭、工作、健康、個人財政等等。593Please respect copyright.PENANAPH24COdevU
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痛楚自然而然被淡化掉。我漸漸忘了阿強的忠肝義膽和許家偉的獨特魅力,直至今日再聚……593Please respect copyright.PENANAqjog3JUalz
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「認得我嗎?我是許家偉。」593Please respect copyright.PENANAXB8at6H44a
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「認得。你是文班的。」593Please respect copyright.PENANAJelCVajnN1
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許家偉淺笑,笑容如昔,淡然清雅溫婉。593Please respect copyright.PENANAHqUhBOxfeq
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閒聊之間,發現他仍然單身。究其原因,他只道難為情。593Please respect copyright.PENANAbCHWa0MTqq
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「你不值得被愛。」我蔑笑。593Please respect copyright.PENANAkPza4SK6Vx
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四十年過去,許家偉仍是當初那個許家偉。593Please respect copyright.PENANAcnM7cKXmad
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阿強沒講錯——他的內心不會強大得能夠與我共同面對一切。593Please respect copyright.PENANAhFE6sRRIHF
593Please respect copyright.PENANAFAcFa7KuPg
「我懂得珍愛自己就可以。」許家偉笑著說。593Please respect copyright.PENANAOGkL5mUWsI
593Please respect copyright.PENANAOBYvVkXbUs
許家偉在認真?他真心認為這是珍愛自己的行徑?593Please respect copyright.PENANADiLiX1FM7X
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我哭笑不得。593Please respect copyright.PENANA7e9Zmo8zYx
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無意跟他繼續對話。593Please respect copyright.PENANABmVEPkvfwh
593Please respect copyright.PENANAYv6HTs3LhB
多寒暄幾句,我和許家偉相互道別,分道揚鑣不復見。593Please respect copyright.PENANAyNdNIygqAw
593Please respect copyright.PENANAedvD3c4pF5
抬頭望天,天陰雨冷,冷入心脾。