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接到出版社新指令當刻，我意識到寫作生涯正要面臨終極考驗。在我面前僅餘兩個選擇：屈從或離開。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgUmM6O5amP
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwLr8rmFpOV
我笑，笑自己，笑自己毫不猶豫作出選擇——屈從。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCluEk7f95
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDshzdlNYv2
「好的。我會試從這方向去構思。」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQzonQXjUPf
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2hTtw0TEfB
「不是試，而是必須依循這方向實踐！」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡymBpyWnMlk
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZpbMvI6yyw
「好的。」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDKXADANfnt
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Go8yroNNW
多聊幾句不著邊際的，編輯突然說要忙其他工作，我也識趣乖乖走出辦公室。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcoMc2B7YhY
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlJMsRfNDoT
在咖啡廳一隅找個僻靜位置，點一客蛋糕，要一杯咖啡，細閱悉才會面時寫下的筆記。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ37Wq98vJKt
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM9C3K64wSX
嗯……該怎樣形容此刻感受？被否定？被看貶？被強逼？被侮辱？以上皆是。但我沒料到上述所有感覺綜合起來得出的結果並非「憤怒」，而是「無力」。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBuuP0JtDBv
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcyQ1bubgaw
潮流，風潮的流動。流的，動的，變幻的。追上潮流就會成為大眾模楷，追不上潮流就會被淘汰。我明白這是自然不過的淘汰過程，所以無法生起憤怒。若說真要怪罪任何人，也只得怪責自己——我還未開明得敞開心胸拋下固有思維去順應潮流——可笑我沒有絲毫怪罪之意。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRDNm5HDkrn
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxt5sa2YGG
對於今日困局，我早有心理準備。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrpNKIhHNMm
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPqasWwIik4
不過在發生當刻，無可避免覺痛。大半輩子的努力付出和個人信念被一下子全盤否定！一直以來支撐我孤身走來的精神支柱被一下子推垮！我還可以相信甚麼？我還可以依靠甚麼？439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOuapBScZ0k
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR3mwKwjnOx
內心波濤洶湧，表面淡然幽雅。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwRvwyKVdgd
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9E05674b0V
既然過去和將來沒有必然因果關係，那就好好享受當刻這口蛋糕、這口咖啡。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmrkJqDc4m2
家，書房。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgDnmf38cDi
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvKda0Wl0en
開始鑽研編輯提供的清單上所有作品，看看時下作品有何熱門題材和成功因素。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWAFcCuAlwp
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfSLSMPI6WZ
修仙、穿越、同人、BL、絕境求生、困獸鬥、對抗強權、自殺、權鬥、道德批判……題材五花八門，卻也萬變不離其中。基本元素仍是沿用多年以來最受歡迎的愛情、成長、友情、英雄主義、個人主義、諷刺現實，變的只是包裝手法（題材）或呈現方式（劇情必須極端、人物情緒起伏必須激烈）。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwNknBHYiz7
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbjebST2gNa
這下子，我似乎明白了「甚麼」，心深處卻又抗拒這些「甚麼」。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf0KbspN4x9
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSX8FfzF1NJ
我放下資料，離開書枱，走到窗邊，倚窗抽菸。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdzZgcSKVgC
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv62LsKAVc5
嗯。獨居果然是個正確決定。爸媽受不了菸味，與他們同居只會悶死我。他們常唬嚇我說抽菸習慣會嚇走好男人。我對此一笑置之，沒有反駁——兩老將近七十歲，我沒可能單憑三言兩語改變他們活用幾十年的觀念。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2EuIIeMPm4
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmhnnUjSnu9
情況有如編輯的幾句說話沒可能扭轉我沿用多年的人生觀、世界觀、寫作觀。若說我不思進取、固執、老土落伍，我會承認，然後反問對方認為我該根據幾多人幾多意見去改變我的思維、活出我的人生才算得上積極進取、從善如流、新潮前衛。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMBaj5XAkG3
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdyzNMBT247
相信對方會熱諷一句：「難怪你的作品賣不了！」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyyE9IFwzAN
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt2mHIkmTTk
情況正如兩老常於親友飯聚場合當眾冷嘲：「難怪你嫁不了！」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzonqQYXG9f
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUuFNyz91F3
唉！感覺真糟糕，卻沒奈何。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtAF0ZoGDlq
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4mnmOqvsiU
只得再來一根菸。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQkQhBJtCog
動筆。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh02hY0hGG8
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzV5ennqMlg
主角沒頭沒腦掉入不知哪來的時空裂縫，進入神仙世界，與位列末席的異性神仙共同修煉，推翻殘暴不仁的天界首領。然後與己方戰友鬧翻，開始明爭暗鬥，爭權奪利，結果禍及人間，令長站道德高地的主角黯然退下，在人間結識天真無邪的凡女，情愫漸生。誰料昔日天界紅顏湊巧下凡，得知凡女與主角關係，醋意頓生，視凡女為情敵，施以毒手。主角同性摯友為免主角煩心，暗中保護凡女，卻不自已對主角生起愛意，向主角表白……寫得順暢，寫得精彩。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ728m7EPvQj
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6K7ZBOjSO3
完成作品後，我馬上發送電郵予編輯，內容簡潔直白：「我寫不了。請另找高明。」439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWJWdYGADXT
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSD1KThSpHs
刪稿，關電腦，將手提電話調至靜音。世界與我無關。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKe1J3CGR27
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAhledQuuxs
我卷縮被窩，無法入眠。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPjcUVOI4Ey
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ26ijMjjh5m
我在這世界存活幾十年，如今首次意識到自己與世界之間的矛盾何其激烈，而我自己對此又是何等無能無力無奈。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnvt4PqYcv2
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWdEsPnUL9w
那種震撼令我忘記各種宣洩方法：哭、睡、逃避、傾訴、吃喝玩樂……439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZ7x7OsDih
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoAMACeOhDT
整個腦袋幾近空白一片。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW5WhPzYppz
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp18pELeSIM
各種情緒猶如乾沙，沒能被搓捏成任何形狀。若強行抓起沙子，沙子自然而然從指隙流走，掉落地面，散開、飛逸、無影蹤。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgo4B9iVeG0
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGitLPQTz0Y
沒法子。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT8bwgmRLai
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoPPtM3d3fG
只得待時間為我整理混亂情緒。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbulS3ltubT
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB7x56nehs0
正如只得待潮流將不思進取、固執、老土落伍的我淘汰。439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyhmpJ11b4Q
