
我在書枱前呆了大半日。熱茶已涼,但我未嚐半口,心思都在眼前電腦屏幕上——剛輸入的文字不停被刪。字越少,心越亂,人越躁。539Please respect copyright.PENANAdO9Fkg0T2A
539Please respect copyright.PENANAObM83eg7Wx
不了。受不了。我離座往廚房換茶去。539Please respect copyright.PENANAS8lxgr0pn5
539Please respect copyright.PENANAT4Ar4Fg3cm
廳中老妻瞄我半眼,大概知道發生甚麼事,沒有作聲,繼續看電視。我對她的不表態不勝感激——她以最聰明的方法維護我的尊嚴。539Please respect copyright.PENANAPF8bOswPKL
539Please respect copyright.PENANAAc7PAXHnJ3
滾水撞上茶葉,水仙香氣隨著冉升白煙溢散開去。539Please respect copyright.PENANAUcCcb7GXCV
539Please respect copyright.PENANAoSgN97lBtc
壓力似乎一併消散。539Please respect copyright.PENANAmjCamilWxF
539Please respect copyright.PENANAlTPwSUBqWX
茶盡。我再續杯。539Please respect copyright.PENANAkXCOIGpwcH
539Please respect copyright.PENANAKV72GiyEDQ
添茶不是長遠之計——屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。539Please respect copyright.PENANATqvjQ8UmyZ
539Please respect copyright.PENANAmCsdDzwOwA
嘆一口氣,慨嘆自己太天真可愛。怎麼會相信自己有寫作天分,而且一信就是幾十年。幾十年來,不停寫,不停發表,不停被無視。我只得不停安慰自己說旁人不識貨。539Please respect copyright.PENANAdDgHmhvyQx
539Please respect copyright.PENANA05BJCrhR5e
口不對心。心裡其實清楚自己料子如何。但我還是堅持寫下去。539Please respect copyright.PENANAK72eJ5yVC6
539Please respect copyright.PENANAVu7o7fnijh
是習慣、面子、尊嚴緣故,更是不想承認自己做了一個長達幾十年的白日夢。539Please respect copyright.PENANAym4VmTwCw8
539Please respect copyright.PENANAzm0dFcvCMd
夢醒一場空。539Please respect copyright.PENANA9VNZM3jq86
539Please respect copyright.PENANAEj32PVXXWN
我本平庸,無甚專長,唯獨寫作能力相對身邊友儕略高丁點。丁點而已,卻足以讓我樂透幾十年。539Please respect copyright.PENANA4ggjwhYX8A
539Please respect copyright.PENANAcA6l64Q8Sl
工作不順利時,我會告訴自己——我的專長不在工作上,所以被罵亦是無可厚非;人際關係不如意時,我會告訴自己——如果世人只能用文字溝通,我該是表達能力最好的人;走倒運時,我會告訴自己——我正在為快要誕生的偉大作品累積靈感……539Please respect copyright.PENANAYiutEDWZEN
539Please respect copyright.PENANApBLrSuo1OD
一切都是有意義的。如果我真有寫作天分的話。539Please respect copyright.PENANAHwR58V3HxB
539Please respect copyright.PENANAtxz2HX8VvL
捧著熱茶回到座位。身在心在能力不在。539Please respect copyright.PENANAN8cp3xzYG2
539Please respect copyright.PENANAx0k2aNJSiV
在刺眼的屏幕白頁前,我又嘆一口氣。539Please respect copyright.PENANAbHsXeDqT8L
539Please respect copyright.PENANAs4rNhjyNwu
我不曾長大,仍是幾十年前那個我,沉浸在中文老師讚賞的我。同學們紛表羨慕我的寫作天份,請教我如何想出精彩故事、練出動人文筆。539Please respect copyright.PENANAcU98ohkC8N
539Please respect copyright.PENANAxKdVWqA2Oi
我沾沾自喜。539Please respect copyright.PENANAwH9TLCZ8iP
539Please respect copyright.PENANATMlDnPR5nB
細心回想,我當時已覺竅門不在天分,而是努力。努力鑽研文字的運用,努力細味名著佳作當中的韻味,努力思考故事情節起伏,努力觀察分析人世百態……名副其實的將勤補拙。539Please respect copyright.PENANAifs0vwcwML
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但我沒有向同學們坦白。539Please respect copyright.PENANA3xBHCI1xxd
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因為我喜歡被讚賞的感覺。539Please respect copyright.PENANARcv7BgwAep
539Please respect copyright.PENANAujubE3lHTK
努力,努力,努力。539Please respect copyright.PENANA7MKoSZyNMI
539Please respect copyright.PENANAHE3AmlUZ4S
我的寫作技巧與日俱增,亦在多個學屆寫作比賽中獲獎。539Please respect copyright.PENANAGWQLNmnzMd
539Please respect copyright.PENANAvn8QVIWhQU
我以為自己將來鐵定能夠成為作家。539Please respect copyright.PENANA1PwiVlD07U
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以為。539Please respect copyright.PENANART5vGhVCPb
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告別校園後,我成為一個普通文職。普通收入,普通打扮,普通生活。539Please respect copyright.PENANAMSm14Zm42O
539Please respect copyright.PENANA1KqtLP6wFb
普通得輕易被取代。普通得難以承受。539Please respect copyright.PENANA9r5sAO8yQA
539Please respect copyright.PENANAzT3oBty9bl
我不得不告訴自己我是多麼的有寫作天份!我是多麼的獨特!539Please respect copyright.PENANA4PuH4mbzq9
539Please respect copyright.PENANAUGhnvpWPIe
某夜下班回家,我泡了一壺水仙,乘著茶香全情投入寫作世界。沒有外物打擾,我的世界只有我。一切如願。那麼順心,那麼安寧,那麼快樂。539Please respect copyright.PENANAqyjESLD3jI
539Please respect copyright.PENANAkCLHzAbCJq
我的作品感動了我。539Please respect copyright.PENANAZT3qSgWeO3
539Please respect copyright.PENANAY1yS1FcO0W
我希望藉此找到更多懂我的人。539Please respect copyright.PENANATHhJgEHMpI
539Please respect copyright.PENANAOISdkysP5y
幾十年來,不停寫,不停發表,不停被無視。我的世界與真實世界不斷相互碰撞。面對無止境的打擊,我不曾問自己為何堅持。因為一旦心生此等疑問,變相在內心種下「自我質疑」的根苗,一發不可收拾。539Please respect copyright.PENANAoaZIgIuw5y
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無法接受自己幾十年堅持建基於一個沒可能實現的夢想。539Please respect copyright.PENANAL11AJ5bhie
539Please respect copyright.PENANA5YW1MJLOoI
無法承受自己生來就是如此普通、平凡、平庸……539Please respect copyright.PENANAUli5F0M4JU
539Please respect copyright.PENANAlIlIpk8AUU
熱茶又涼了。539Please respect copyright.PENANAX4LWhqOyFR
539Please respect copyright.PENANA3XZhizuoDn
屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。539Please respect copyright.PENANAhbCEqMpuHY
539Please respect copyright.PENANAg1tLcQ8Wds
老妻繼續以不表態維護我的尊嚴。539Please respect copyright.PENANAvqPtV7qJIw
539Please respect copyright.PENANAxvvmWeSJLH
我的作品只感動了我。539Please respect copyright.PENANAS9f4atlkXQ
539Please respect copyright.PENANAEsWW0UTpyO
因為我的感受只有我讀得懂。539Please respect copyright.PENANAevelRVkZaG