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我在書枱前呆了大半日。熱茶已涼，但我未嚐半口，心思都在眼前電腦屏幕上——剛輸入的文字不停被刪。字越少，心越亂，人越躁。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdO9Fkg0T2A
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡObM83eg7Wx
不了。受不了。我離座往廚房換茶去。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS8lxgr0pn5
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT4Ar4Fg3cm
廳中老妻瞄我半眼，大概知道發生甚麼事，沒有作聲，繼續看電視。我對她的不表態不勝感激——她以最聰明的方法維護我的尊嚴。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPF8bOswPKL
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAc7PAXHnJ3
滾水撞上茶葉，水仙香氣隨著冉升白煙溢散開去。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUcCcb7GXCV
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoSgN97lBtc
壓力似乎一併消散。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmjCamilWxF
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlTPwSUBqWX
茶盡。我再續杯。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkXCOIGpwcH
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKV72GiyEDQ
添茶不是長遠之計——屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTqvjQ8UmyZ
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmCsdDzwOwA
嘆一口氣，慨嘆自己太天真可愛。怎麼會相信自己有寫作天分，而且一信就是幾十年。幾十年來，不停寫，不停發表，不停被無視。我只得不停安慰自己說旁人不識貨。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdDgHmhvyQx
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ05BJCrhR5e
口不對心。心裡其實清楚自己料子如何。但我還是堅持寫下去。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK72eJ5yVC6
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVu7o7fnijh
是習慣、面子、尊嚴緣故，更是不想承認自己做了一個長達幾十年的白日夢。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡym4VmTwCw8
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzm0dFcvCMd
夢醒一場空。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9VNZM3jq86
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEj32PVXXWN
我本平庸，無甚專長，唯獨寫作能力相對身邊友儕略高丁點。丁點而已，卻足以讓我樂透幾十年。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ggjwhYX8A
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcA6l64Q8Sl
工作不順利時，我會告訴自己——我的專長不在工作上，所以被罵亦是無可厚非；人際關係不如意時，我會告訴自己——如果世人只能用文字溝通，我該是表達能力最好的人；走倒運時，我會告訴自己——我正在為快要誕生的偉大作品累積靈感……539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYiutEDWZEN
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpBLrSuo1OD
一切都是有意義的。如果我真有寫作天分的話。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHwR58V3HxB
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtxz2HX8VvL
捧著熱茶回到座位。身在心在能力不在。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN8cp3xzYG2
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx0k2aNJSiV
在刺眼的屏幕白頁前，我又嘆一口氣。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbHsXeDqT8L
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs4rNhjyNwu
我不曾長大，仍是幾十年前那個我，沉浸在中文老師讚賞的我。同學們紛表羨慕我的寫作天份，請教我如何想出精彩故事、練出動人文筆。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcU98ohkC8N
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxKdVWqA2Oi
我沾沾自喜。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwH9TLCZ8iP
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTMlDnPR5nB
細心回想，我當時已覺竅門不在天分，而是努力。努力鑽研文字的運用，努力細味名著佳作當中的韻味，努力思考故事情節起伏，努力觀察分析人世百態……名副其實的將勤補拙。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡifs0vwcwML
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPxFuQbwi2s
但我沒有向同學們坦白。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3xBHCI1xxd
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnQW5RcIG6X
因為我喜歡被讚賞的感覺。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRcv7BgwAep
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡujubE3lHTK
努力，努力，努力。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7MKoSZyNMI
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHE3AmlUZ4S
我的寫作技巧與日俱增，亦在多個學屆寫作比賽中獲獎。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGWQLNmnzMd
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvn8QVIWhQU
我以為自己將來鐵定能夠成為作家。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1PwiVlD07U
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFgr7gAUxlZ
以為。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRT5vGhVCPb
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIgZDfQanJy
告別校園後，我成為一個普通文職。普通收入，普通打扮，普通生活。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMSm14Zm42O
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1KqtLP6wFb
普通得輕易被取代。普通得難以承受。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9r5sAO8yQA
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzT3oBty9bl
我不得不告訴自己我是多麼的有寫作天份！我是多麼的獨特！539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4PuH4mbzq9
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUGhnvpWPIe
某夜下班回家，我泡了一壺水仙，乘著茶香全情投入寫作世界。沒有外物打擾，我的世界只有我。一切如願。那麼順心，那麼安寧，那麼快樂。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqyjESLD3jI
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkCLHzAbCJq
我的作品感動了我。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZT3qSgWeO3
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY1yS1FcO0W
我希望藉此找到更多懂我的人。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTHhJgEHMpI
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOISdkysP5y
幾十年來，不停寫，不停發表，不停被無視。我的世界與真實世界不斷相互碰撞。面對無止境的打擊，我不曾問自己為何堅持。因為一旦心生此等疑問，變相在內心種下「自我質疑」的根苗，一發不可收拾。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoaZIgIuw5y
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEnIhksazuM
無法接受自己幾十年堅持建基於一個沒可能實現的夢想。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL11AJ5bhie
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5YW1MJLOoI
無法承受自己生來就是如此普通、平凡、平庸……539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUli5F0M4JU
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlIlIpk8AUU
熱茶又涼了。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX4LWhqOyFR
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3XZhizuoDn
屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhbCEqMpuHY
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg1tLcQ8Wds
老妻繼續以不表態維護我的尊嚴。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvqPtV7qJIw
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxvvmWeSJLH
我的作品只感動了我。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS9f4atlkXQ
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEsWW0UTpyO
因為我的感受只有我讀得懂。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡevelRVkZaG
