
我在書枱前呆了大半日。熱茶已涼,但我未嚐半口,心思都在眼前電腦屏幕上——剛輸入的文字不停被刪。字越少,心越亂,人越躁。540Please respect copyright.PENANApVT2RnwVO4
540Please respect copyright.PENANAbojQGrJlmT
不了。受不了。我離座往廚房換茶去。540Please respect copyright.PENANAaovgx9ejTB
540Please respect copyright.PENANAqhaWaGU2tj
廳中老妻瞄我半眼,大概知道發生甚麼事,沒有作聲,繼續看電視。我對她的不表態不勝感激——她以最聰明的方法維護我的尊嚴。540Please respect copyright.PENANAm9YZ6Tkdsx
540Please respect copyright.PENANAQHQ6gzOH9X
滾水撞上茶葉,水仙香氣隨著冉升白煙溢散開去。540Please respect copyright.PENANAvtEXTFWSvl
540Please respect copyright.PENANAcAzIBe3dtQ
壓力似乎一併消散。540Please respect copyright.PENANAEBNCvc1qQo
540Please respect copyright.PENANA9ABBABblq3
茶盡。我再續杯。540Please respect copyright.PENANAM23dcUxkZ3
540Please respect copyright.PENANAj1WsA45euH
添茶不是長遠之計——屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。540Please respect copyright.PENANA8L51Ot7pgQ
540Please respect copyright.PENANAvMrnyT5tTK
嘆一口氣,慨嘆自己太天真可愛。怎麼會相信自己有寫作天分,而且一信就是幾十年。幾十年來,不停寫,不停發表,不停被無視。我只得不停安慰自己說旁人不識貨。540Please respect copyright.PENANA0yrfAYvTiY
540Please respect copyright.PENANAI44pJpI6Ag
口不對心。心裡其實清楚自己料子如何。但我還是堅持寫下去。540Please respect copyright.PENANAHFi6niel1S
540Please respect copyright.PENANAmZWWXmSylR
是習慣、面子、尊嚴緣故,更是不想承認自己做了一個長達幾十年的白日夢。540Please respect copyright.PENANAValoB1nIb5
540Please respect copyright.PENANAgM2ju6p7QF
夢醒一場空。540Please respect copyright.PENANAEl0H4HoPUj
540Please respect copyright.PENANA5k6Cm5xpA9
我本平庸,無甚專長,唯獨寫作能力相對身邊友儕略高丁點。丁點而已,卻足以讓我樂透幾十年。540Please respect copyright.PENANAvY0gloJzxp
540Please respect copyright.PENANAL6UxpawFa9
工作不順利時,我會告訴自己——我的專長不在工作上,所以被罵亦是無可厚非;人際關係不如意時,我會告訴自己——如果世人只能用文字溝通,我該是表達能力最好的人;走倒運時,我會告訴自己——我正在為快要誕生的偉大作品累積靈感……540Please respect copyright.PENANAVrsoGIzzvc
540Please respect copyright.PENANA5zPeFSO7Eq
一切都是有意義的。如果我真有寫作天分的話。540Please respect copyright.PENANABdB4aJXlLU
540Please respect copyright.PENANAzKS71aBNps
捧著熱茶回到座位。身在心在能力不在。540Please respect copyright.PENANABGHcFkmj0Z
540Please respect copyright.PENANA7c1Q76y1ER
在刺眼的屏幕白頁前,我又嘆一口氣。540Please respect copyright.PENANAT399pJGAKD
540Please respect copyright.PENANAyx2cuILr0n
我不曾長大,仍是幾十年前那個我,沉浸在中文老師讚賞的我。同學們紛表羨慕我的寫作天份,請教我如何想出精彩故事、練出動人文筆。540Please respect copyright.PENANA1T4P13GARA
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我沾沾自喜。540Please respect copyright.PENANAyaCm0ux3RV
540Please respect copyright.PENANAjRtildaOhE
細心回想,我當時已覺竅門不在天分,而是努力。努力鑽研文字的運用,努力細味名著佳作當中的韻味,努力思考故事情節起伏,努力觀察分析人世百態……名副其實的將勤補拙。540Please respect copyright.PENANA5A4mR1kNPa
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但我沒有向同學們坦白。540Please respect copyright.PENANAeMq93ROlRr
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因為我喜歡被讚賞的感覺。540Please respect copyright.PENANAQJUfC4Y75I
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努力,努力,努力。540Please respect copyright.PENANAyCGw2GyoaF
540Please respect copyright.PENANAD5U4TP99Eb
我的寫作技巧與日俱增,亦在多個學屆寫作比賽中獲獎。540Please respect copyright.PENANAaM9knHk7Jc
540Please respect copyright.PENANAYxeNyTPKxH
我以為自己將來鐵定能夠成為作家。540Please respect copyright.PENANAl4QMq5D2jk
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以為。540Please respect copyright.PENANA5Yo96B9Jyi
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告別校園後,我成為一個普通文職。普通收入,普通打扮,普通生活。540Please respect copyright.PENANAAf16pWZTxy
540Please respect copyright.PENANAVPEu6nz7b2
普通得輕易被取代。普通得難以承受。540Please respect copyright.PENANAMiYxyX033p
540Please respect copyright.PENANAUiWvBUAC8C
我不得不告訴自己我是多麼的有寫作天份!我是多麼的獨特!540Please respect copyright.PENANAtj8SqEo9aF
540Please respect copyright.PENANAS70gxqgxIU
某夜下班回家,我泡了一壺水仙,乘著茶香全情投入寫作世界。沒有外物打擾,我的世界只有我。一切如願。那麼順心,那麼安寧,那麼快樂。540Please respect copyright.PENANAXy0Ujwo8ri
540Please respect copyright.PENANA5e3r0HAySr
我的作品感動了我。540Please respect copyright.PENANACDSjirsxn6
540Please respect copyright.PENANAabJl9t4oZf
我希望藉此找到更多懂我的人。540Please respect copyright.PENANAhmFmJhZME1
540Please respect copyright.PENANA1exaaLhu0z
幾十年來,不停寫,不停發表,不停被無視。我的世界與真實世界不斷相互碰撞。面對無止境的打擊,我不曾問自己為何堅持。因為一旦心生此等疑問,變相在內心種下「自我質疑」的根苗,一發不可收拾。540Please respect copyright.PENANAH0ObDrSgNx
540Please respect copyright.PENANALgsmV8NlQ0
無法接受自己幾十年堅持建基於一個沒可能實現的夢想。540Please respect copyright.PENANAD4QE3ptqxa
540Please respect copyright.PENANAiDidzVdUwP
無法承受自己生來就是如此普通、平凡、平庸……540Please respect copyright.PENANAymoMtdUBvB
540Please respect copyright.PENANAWXW4uyESYW
熱茶又涼了。540Please respect copyright.PENANA98VVxW92IQ
540Please respect copyright.PENANAL2Px62yoLR
屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。540Please respect copyright.PENANApcM0dv4Av9
540Please respect copyright.PENANA4jTps37uKj
老妻繼續以不表態維護我的尊嚴。540Please respect copyright.PENANAqT9iRgrxz5
540Please respect copyright.PENANAOT1SirUqma
我的作品只感動了我。540Please respect copyright.PENANAg6kcCA8Ogr
540Please respect copyright.PENANA1keRSoXhs0
因為我的感受只有我讀得懂。540Please respect copyright.PENANAcjaGdjdbBY