
我在書枱前呆了大半日。熱茶已涼,但我未嚐半口,心思都在眼前電腦屏幕上——剛輸入的文字不停被刪。字越少,心越亂,人越躁。520Please respect copyright.PENANA0Bugr2lhTl
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不了。受不了。我離座往廚房換茶去。520Please respect copyright.PENANA55TQ6GDkJP
520Please respect copyright.PENANAM32YpVZl7t
廳中老妻瞄我半眼,大概知道發生甚麼事,沒有作聲,繼續看電視。我對她的不表態不勝感激——她以最聰明的方法維護我的尊嚴。520Please respect copyright.PENANALA9gEUN16P
520Please respect copyright.PENANAPD5uFpL6lz
滾水撞上茶葉,水仙香氣隨著冉升白煙溢散開去。520Please respect copyright.PENANAOJ3AkyhZFV
520Please respect copyright.PENANAdmsLWzu0xc
壓力似乎一併消散。520Please respect copyright.PENANAZQkz6oOAzA
520Please respect copyright.PENANAdpkYQBz8wa
茶盡。我再續杯。520Please respect copyright.PENANA6Tgfnt8Pwa
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添茶不是長遠之計——屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。520Please respect copyright.PENANAyPBISKiKQM
520Please respect copyright.PENANAtaGH6KqaRJ
嘆一口氣,慨嘆自己太天真可愛。怎麼會相信自己有寫作天分,而且一信就是幾十年。幾十年來,不停寫,不停發表,不停被無視。我只得不停安慰自己說旁人不識貨。520Please respect copyright.PENANAeKhEHqyxuL
520Please respect copyright.PENANA7PMJVhW6au
口不對心。心裡其實清楚自己料子如何。但我還是堅持寫下去。520Please respect copyright.PENANAGu5cEV2q4p
520Please respect copyright.PENANANh3wkcuPxL
是習慣、面子、尊嚴緣故,更是不想承認自己做了一個長達幾十年的白日夢。520Please respect copyright.PENANAiHFfW6XRFo
520Please respect copyright.PENANAT7SePcJbFs
夢醒一場空。520Please respect copyright.PENANAQlbU7wFEon
520Please respect copyright.PENANAKcv51NzV7E
我本平庸,無甚專長,唯獨寫作能力相對身邊友儕略高丁點。丁點而已,卻足以讓我樂透幾十年。520Please respect copyright.PENANAekSvhVI3Bt
520Please respect copyright.PENANA9oIy2F0lFG
工作不順利時,我會告訴自己——我的專長不在工作上,所以被罵亦是無可厚非;人際關係不如意時,我會告訴自己——如果世人只能用文字溝通,我該是表達能力最好的人;走倒運時,我會告訴自己——我正在為快要誕生的偉大作品累積靈感……520Please respect copyright.PENANAqKn1Ir9GSS
520Please respect copyright.PENANA4m1Uqw75TL
一切都是有意義的。如果我真有寫作天分的話。520Please respect copyright.PENANA6lKpIfo4Jb
520Please respect copyright.PENANAwePIkWdk1W
捧著熱茶回到座位。身在心在能力不在。520Please respect copyright.PENANABT5C23K8Bw
520Please respect copyright.PENANAQ2ZpnoF0wX
在刺眼的屏幕白頁前,我又嘆一口氣。520Please respect copyright.PENANAwrHgpBNzTU
520Please respect copyright.PENANAljgL3O61oi
我不曾長大,仍是幾十年前那個我,沉浸在中文老師讚賞的我。同學們紛表羨慕我的寫作天份,請教我如何想出精彩故事、練出動人文筆。520Please respect copyright.PENANARVb1YUElW4
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我沾沾自喜。520Please respect copyright.PENANAr91vmYUJod
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細心回想,我當時已覺竅門不在天分,而是努力。努力鑽研文字的運用,努力細味名著佳作當中的韻味,努力思考故事情節起伏,努力觀察分析人世百態……名副其實的將勤補拙。520Please respect copyright.PENANAk934HFOpnx
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但我沒有向同學們坦白。520Please respect copyright.PENANATEcEhUoPuO
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因為我喜歡被讚賞的感覺。520Please respect copyright.PENANAcsAMjcg4Mi
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努力,努力,努力。520Please respect copyright.PENANAlsfBixL22G
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我的寫作技巧與日俱增,亦在多個學屆寫作比賽中獲獎。520Please respect copyright.PENANAuMZfj9W8mW
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我以為自己將來鐵定能夠成為作家。520Please respect copyright.PENANASPn6FCccQ5
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以為。520Please respect copyright.PENANAIwCfxkFlUg
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告別校園後,我成為一個普通文職。普通收入,普通打扮,普通生活。520Please respect copyright.PENANAEBGTZbLJSq
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普通得輕易被取代。普通得難以承受。520Please respect copyright.PENANA3wzCyDUV4N
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我不得不告訴自己我是多麼的有寫作天份!我是多麼的獨特!520Please respect copyright.PENANAzocgkNaJTD
520Please respect copyright.PENANAZUPPxvDwRy
某夜下班回家,我泡了一壺水仙,乘著茶香全情投入寫作世界。沒有外物打擾,我的世界只有我。一切如願。那麼順心,那麼安寧,那麼快樂。520Please respect copyright.PENANAA2jGZTe73O
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我的作品感動了我。520Please respect copyright.PENANAMuayVfTkIl
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我希望藉此找到更多懂我的人。520Please respect copyright.PENANASyztxNjVrN
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幾十年來,不停寫,不停發表,不停被無視。我的世界與真實世界不斷相互碰撞。面對無止境的打擊,我不曾問自己為何堅持。因為一旦心生此等疑問,變相在內心種下「自我質疑」的根苗,一發不可收拾。520Please respect copyright.PENANAhHeGO872Yo
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無法接受自己幾十年堅持建基於一個沒可能實現的夢想。520Please respect copyright.PENANALtt6a6nkwp
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無法承受自己生來就是如此普通、平凡、平庸……520Please respect copyright.PENANAhDqDurbSYa
520Please respect copyright.PENANA6UD5DZ9cij
熱茶又涼了。520Please respect copyright.PENANATlP5USCQK8
520Please respect copyright.PENANAsbOORV4kqZ
屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。520Please respect copyright.PENANAwmuqYOaFsL
520Please respect copyright.PENANAvG1SocBstH
老妻繼續以不表態維護我的尊嚴。520Please respect copyright.PENANAD4elDEnZbS
520Please respect copyright.PENANAZzlLAb0nBI
我的作品只感動了我。520Please respect copyright.PENANAYv9AnPjk35
520Please respect copyright.PENANA3QRd4qL9oU
因為我的感受只有我讀得懂。520Please respect copyright.PENANAbm3HWZ9euO