x
天亮，上班。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡylb8u2xpTo
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLTzV9xCmiO
擠進人山人海的車廂，心竟是難得的平靜。看著人們專注把玩手中的電子玩物，我心中更覺異常的安全。畢竟，好不容易才能擺脫熟人的注意。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3pUTfqndFC
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ64tNCUCVkf
車廂一如往常，平穩中帶輕微搖晃，教本已帶睡意的乘客更為昏昏欲睡。有些嘴饞的人不理會廣播的呼籲，繼續進食，令人側目。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGjojAJFVM3
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuJ1kl9rbII
食物的細碎，像沙子一樣，在人們毫不注意的情況下，悄然掉在地上，再被無意地踏個粉碎。在接著的數個車站，人們再肆意加以踐踏，令碎粉再度粉碎。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaO7EH3rhgc
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡssbu3fSyWc
到站了，我有意無意地繞過人羣，「不經意」踏中那些有數隻小蟻的食物碎粉，心中是一陣少有的快意。幕門關上，我回頭望進車廂，想要看看被我蹂躪過的碎粉，但列車經已開駛。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoAvs9qL1pW
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsrrx6XdH2B
看不見，罷。
天黑，下班。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5dp7M5N8wo
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0aRGN09aKa
身心俱疲。好不容易才與同路的男同事擠進車廂，繼續講上司的壞話。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAqxVkHBhE7
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Ul1ddEL9r
「有蟻。」男同事突然指著快由我鞋面爬到小腿的一隻小螞蟻。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHBC0gvujod
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHFTZXQBWoj
我呆了。腦海中一片空白。不！有一個很遙遠的身影。那是誰？我看不見……我不想看見……972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt5mmkpo2Z4
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVr4R4wEMou
「啪」的一聲，男同事一手拍在我的小腿上，那隻螞蟻——扁了。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFeMoVBoIB
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjkhNuem3sY
「沒事了！」他笑了笑，問我：「你很怕小昆蟲？」972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4HvvTTjNei
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMDIlva7EjJ
「不，只是怕蟻。」我感覺到，我的唇還在顫抖，但卻仍勉力一笑。
公司，午飯時間。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡABHBjtYefH
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGh0fpTUQcz
甲小姐正在上網看劇；乙先生在打盹；丙小姐外出吃飯去；丁先生仍在享用他那巨型飯盒；戊小姐……972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpCnvLz2Y7t
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaxJnvQmoB7
看著同事們的百態，我突然覺得自己和他們一樣，都是很渺小的生命體，小得……有點兒……像……螞蟻。這是我最不想要看到的事，尤其是發生在我自己身上。大家營役勞碌，不也是只為求兩餐溫飽嗎？那與盲目求存的螞蟻有何分別？972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuKfC2ksHu8
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXRsUegzm5n
驀地，我看見一隻螞蟻在我手背上路過，卻沒意識去按扁它。我把手輕輕放在枱面上，讓它自然而然的爬走。看著它在牆角消失，我感到自己也消失了似的。
其實，真正的我只是一隻螞蟻，不過會偶爾做白日夢，幻想自己變成人類，過著那荒唐無稽的生活。那種生活，是有目的的付出，有希望的付出。每天朝著那所謂的「希望」跑，多奢侈！無他，這就是意義。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpt0Bty240V
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTHQIfV7rx2
還是……972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMKpvNm2vVl
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgSxw1tqgVD
其實，真正的我只是一個渺小的人類。不過會偶爾做白日夢，幻想自己是一隻蟻，過著那種沒頭沒腦的生活。那種生活很乏味，只懂一味尋找食物。無他，這就是生存！
公司，工作。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsALdtXmfsR
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPGjJtf82p0
被上司罵個狗血淋頭。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp2nFEmuVN6
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1g8xnX1hqA
大家心知犯錯的不是我，奈何人是怕事的，只好把我推上斷頭台。事後，一句道歉或安慰也欠奉。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfzOXu2fIMp
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6NjWxjJmyi
很難過。我只好躲進廁格稍作自我冷靜。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ507lK5pvLy
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5DJl0iDkz7
剛巧，一隻螞蟻經過廁格。我毫不猶豫一腳踏扁它。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ982CQ323gq
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmDy5FSQ4Ts
快意，笑了。
酒吧，喝酒。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ipb5YRaGn
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF91poPVpn5
「你不是只怕螞蟻而已嗎？為何現在也怕酒起來？」男同事笑問。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbb5AaJQJWX
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGzHyHQ0gtE
「其實，我不大好喝酒。」我怯怯的道。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvgEPLRkGkS
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT3mwRYKqvg
「還是……你根本不會喝酒？」他哈哈大笑。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ256S2cFn1T
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCAi8PSII7x
聽著他那豁然開朗開朗的笑聲，我突然變得不大抗拒，乾脆把小杯裡的酒一飲而盡。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL0YolTP7gy
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYqn7PoDsxB
醉倒。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzvw1MND97K
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ38jvBoGQm7
迷糊間，我看見男同事以螞蟻姿態爬上我的身體，不停遊走於每吋肌膚。他似乎沒停下來的意欲，想要到它的洞穴去……972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCcOuU5hDqJ
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkDuTYZQiJw
「上天取走你的一扇門，定會留給你一扇窗。」972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqRYtNrfuJX
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCCtOYO2w85
今趟，上天留給我一隻螞蟻。我給其取名為「男朋友」。
假期，醫院。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaUPiP00ZtT
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKtevbBg456
媽就在這間醫院裡。她患了甚麼病，還未明確，因為報告要待下星期才會完成。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1B5xP4SafG
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBryOUEN2oe
看見媽的時候，家中各人都是淚眼漣漣，很憂心。這種氣氛令健壯的人也難免感到窒息。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0cCz60WhOy
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDP0YOdLLTA
「我覺得……」近幾天，媽的話都變得斷斷續續：「自己……」972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ12rumxlhP8
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPvJMznZ2vJ
大家都屏息靜氣，深怕這是她的最後一句話。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp55Ff84Nqj
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgbqlQMjcP8
「自己是……一隻螞蟻……」她的聲音，輕如柔絲，但我知道大家都聽得很清楚。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQkFraO0OWc
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuvsoD8xtjB
死寂。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfwhyiUntCN
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBLCt5E2YqO
出乎我意料，這竟是她講得最清楚的一句話，不論是肉體還是心靈上。
回家，晚飯。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe24RZZgmwj
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxDlC2koxzF
一枱六椅，異常的沉默。電視的聲浪，掩不住大家的咀嚼聲——大家口中的食物似乎比鋼鐵更硬。我裝作不以為意，繼續吃。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcdX24mx1Yj
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAgCeBxlNS4
「很難吃。」爸突然放下筷子：「不如外出吃飯。」972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK2ubLnDMbQ
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJti2ikfJK6
妹放下筷子衝進房內，甩門；姨低下頭來，但她盯著枱上菜餚的怒目卻仍清晰可見；婆呆了，眼眶紅潤；我默默望著對面牆身上一隻偶然經過的螞蟻。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwP0zt4cQC
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ZKdnbBu7n
我心想：世界末日來臨後，地球會否只剩下這隻螞蟻？
每次望著媽，心中都生起莫名的感覺。我的腦海裡浮現出一隻螞蟻的模樣，彷彿她根本就是一隻螞蟻。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyhwYTWDKlw
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhVJVYB0ik8
一隻螞蟻在做菜煮飯、洗衣拖地、燙衫抹窗……多可笑！就是因為她是一隻螞蟻，所以我從沒有幫忙做家務的念頭，去減輕她的負擔。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGTFxE8azXH
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdIKxau6LND
久而久之，我每次一見到她，便會掉頭走。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxRvFprkqev
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgzELqMT3xm
但我知道，我永沒能走遠。
男友家，床上。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfuFH1RGl3W
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFbmLcHECqm
前奏後，男友進入極度興奮狀態，沒注意到我正在放空自己。在他還在我身上冒汗之時，我的思緒又飛往遙遠的他方去了——産房。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg8m95s45Gi
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4sfs6yCgkQ
産房內有一張床，床上有一隻非常細小的蟻后。她痛得不得了，是産婦們口中的十級痛楚。那表示，她要生産了。不消一會，整張床上都是幼蟻，恐怖非常。但她的身體卻沒停止的意識。現在幼蟻已攻陷整個産房、整間醫院、整個世界。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNnTNJoSJPA
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs2ufDG3HH4
我驚恐萬分之際，耳邊傳來蟻后的淒怨聲音：「他朝君體也相同！」972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqi9XWTj8Ez
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGHtYPE3Rag
床上的我驚叫。男友以為我也感到興奮，於是更用力……
舊生聚會，內地某酒家。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfzkJ6VOPVZ
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrBBcqLqddC
說也奇怪，舊生聚會竟會選擇在內地舉行。聽聞是聚會發起人的主意，說會給我們驚喜。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUN7vxXXDIj
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSVQ5koeaIP
「蟻宴？」我呆了，但逃不了。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM0QPdPLN5b
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNwORxwlDxc
「你有收看《天與地》嗎？」舊生甲吃一口紅蟻炒蛋。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTL6KRW4Hos
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSvctn4GZgl
「有。人吃人那幕很震撼！」乙滿口黑蟻殘肢。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUUIIndZyRV
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡydiy5r39SK
「結局何如？」丙一口氣喝下半碗白蟻湯。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQlJZVsqrJb
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPkPI6weJuS
「沒好下場！」丁邊說邊給我一碗黃蟻糖水。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFkhWrS5wrD
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKC3FAPSzGx
「對！沒好下場！」我在心裡重覆著，衝到洗手間嘔吐大作。
男友有很多恐怖的寵物：蛇、蜥蝪、蜘蛛……每次做愛時，他都會放一些寵物在床邊，以增加他的性趣。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdCaAdPDw2V
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZF6foy5SlD
今趟，床邊竟無任何寵物的蹤影。我暗喜。完事後，我不經意的問道：「你的寵物呢？」972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxPEJgSzeEL
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIY3bOUZUH6
「在你體內。」972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsY2vuDi5Or
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxP00uzXtmB
「甚麼？」972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPkBLrjLXQj
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdcdXZ4Ky2X
「蟻。」
有一隻螞蟻住在我心內。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcDys5CrJDn
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGLtdf5OuEf
它平常會做甚麼？做菜煮飯、洗衣拖地、燙衫抹窗……嗯，它會做的事真的很多，但從沒理會過我的感受。它憑甚麼闖進我的心、我的生活！它最好立刻消失！972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzO9XuGNmW5
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN4sGqbgY30
結果，我生命中其中一隻螞蟻真的消失了。我依稀記得它的名字是「媽」。
靈堂上，我一再向來賓欠身鞠躬。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHRkdwyWE55
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZfnJR1yy7t
「她真的死了嗎？」某君的聲音傳到我耳邊，但我心知那不是靈堂裡的人。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTsRjqORC8O
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0hynDLuBH8
「誰？」另一聲音反問。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaLp8C9Pa0E
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvnGdGcIjDB
「二九三號表妹。」某君不耐煩的道：「她……」972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnHxVqqNf8W
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡolSAen1BgM
靜。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiaB85KiBQH
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuk4vILKgm1
我回過神來，低頭一看——我剛不經意踏扁兩隻小蟻。
我：「我的耳朵有毛病嗎？為何會聽到螞蟻講話？」972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTf9KnQQLU0
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4CXBnnpaVr
醫：「不。是你的壓力過大，導致有幻聽。」972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNgBKJGFozU
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAsch5GOVXi
我：「我有精神病？」972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbWHU2JOd6w
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmF36pEEJUl
醫：「是情緒病。」972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF2MXLV5gYn
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQoLiANiLSB
我：「怎麼辦？」972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8X4LFx12eH
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuL8FjgyHrL
醫：「我會處方一些藥物，你要按時服用；另外，你也要多休息……」972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwVsNZafpeM
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOwsxdYCuFt
我：「謝謝醫生。」972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKflOk8P13A
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwzThEK7hio
醫：「不用謝。」972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbgNoXJzxAi
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvJNYXcecCN
離開診所時，我回頭望一望地上的廣告牌——「馬義專科」。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHXclPUseC7
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqcK6PevdLa
不，我走近細看，是「虫馬虫義」專科。
總覺得體內有東西在蠶食著我。是蟻？972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdb7DBvBTQf
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDeXIlCdA8d
醫生替我作身體檢查，一切正常；972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSgWZXnm2gJ
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfQ9nka5JdV
男友向我解釋，螞蟻之說，純粹幽默；972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcinSWYKs8c
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡySxpA0UBYE
同事都勸我休息，減少工作量；972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUOOj7haskT
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTr76D7Vvev
……972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRkqaobTcUK
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4fJcWvYMMD
「真的有蟻在我體內！」我尖叫，奪門而出，從天台一躍而下，肝腦塗地。972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ38Lwc0OuFn
972Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOysv4L99Y2
臨死前，我看見那東西了——不是蟻，是……
