日子還是這樣在過，學校裡的夥伴不時耳提面命「大考將近，獎學金不能拱手讓人」的事，我知道他是逼著我轉移注意力，也就順著他的意，認真上班、認真上課、認真睡覺，好像我換了個叫「課本」的男友，天天與它相伴，沒見著它的時間，都在夢鄉。597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNWY3oqsOso
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡczCHF0dVRh
但，無論怎麼讓自己逃開，總有那幾個瞬間，會被回憶淹沒，尤其是，酸楚的回憶。597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ74uDgIl59
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlUp89ugETV
我把自己關在家幾個禮拜，直到被朋友挖出門。597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF8yqFDaawr
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB4c265MGFk
坐上朋友的車，也不是很在乎要去哪裡，明明身邊有人，但全世界好像剩下自己。
也許這些，都是失去愛情的症狀。
可笑的是我連自己是否曾經「擁有」愛情都不確定。597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIw3xWnr9q0
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjpIMfIqwgF
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmCB5ZgwlV7
朋友載我到熟悉的山上，我以為他是要去山頂的土地公廟拜拜。597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4YIMpL2XQ7
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBTDaC2kkU
「妳最近不是很愛爬山嗎？帶妳來山上走走啊。」597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO87RfxvoSo
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ326g2FGZwQ
「……喔…」
我心裡一沉。597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgQBtRMHMay
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ95lheCtHtI
他不知道我為什麼開始爬山，我又怎麼能怪他呢？597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgGv5MfvEk9
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtn1UppdtPP
我們延著樓梯，爬到了山頂的土地公廟，便隨意照找了個地方坐下，那是山頂的展望區。597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIqqbqJgwPi
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEnJlmTc7TC
「那是什麼山啊？」
我指著橫過城市、遠處一座被雲海包圍的山。597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUscgLMNIyh
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9YIsgXRocs
「我哪知道。」597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi6ZcuKcvZ2
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrNkuflrGZY
「……說的也是。」597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEkkIYfJyJU
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBHTkHQjQWP
我才發現自己的愚蠢。
那是我和張先生一同爬山時，我很常說的話。
他總是像個「山的萬事通」，有問必答，即使在我看來那些山都長得一個模樣，他仍能數家珍般地，念出它們的名。597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡileiAz9QaR
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAmS0ukcFso
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb82mRpjywt
黑兔子找我去唱歌，在包廂裡和另一個女生朋友故意想弄哭我，不停點悲傷的歌來唱，一開始我只是笑，笑她們無聊。
直到某首歌的歌詞刺進我的心裡，痛了那麼一下，我哭了，就停不下來。
兩個女生見我掉淚，居然也跟著哭了，還哭得比我悽慘。最後我還得幫她們擦眼淚。597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhUcnjNlB01
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYm0CxuYNUC
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd8nWJd97Rm
我很努力要自己不去怨懟、不去記恨，但總對自己被欺騙一事糾結，同時也怪自己不夠聰明、不夠謹慎。597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcQL80eD8Fs
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl0txVZRmyK
無法灑脫。597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzbTU0IjNGA
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvlJQPWBhcr
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlzQNLGZVeG
我還是持續的爬山，但不明白自己是因為什麼而爬。
我害怕自己是為了不忘記他，所以更不敢面對這個問題。597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHiehXqvRfh
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAIEJZepbSr
直到某次，母親找我一同去爬山。597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5O0PnlQJFN
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSqCe1ZaPGy
那是一座有著神話故事點綴的郊山，山上的涼亭裡還用木板刻著傳說。597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVzg0GbfgYG
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoKTjpYpW0C
「這是我和妳爸爸第一次約會的地方。」597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyP8yCK9uXY
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyoLNqzHuuq
母親突然提起父親，自他們離異後，母親甚少和我聊父親的事。597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsfVj0OCUE1
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDV85aBZaHa
「我喜歡運動，妳爸爸不愛。我喜歡在舞池跳舞，他只想坐在沙發聊天。妳爸爸體能好，明明是蛙人，運動神經好，私底下卻懶惰得要命。」597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmbZTsuC7a6
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ82sJonu8Fq
「但這是我們第一次約會的地方。」597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxkyKvIdxNa
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIJPHAfyegR
我不知道母親為什麼突然說這些。597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhe7yOpU17u
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRnHLDAxyuZ
「妳和那個來過家裡的先生，應該沒有再聯絡了吧？」597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQFE5SLjG2
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Q8Dl0uSiQ
「沒有了。」我立刻回答。597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Zmadb4Z2Z
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Tuwe3La10
「妳一開始喜歡上爬山，是因為他嗎？」597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSyEpMZr9pl
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVvuSsciIEn
「嗯。」597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtoL6ZoWyGT
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxbKQW4ziIA
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnKemf0cpXy
「那他留給妳的影響，就夠了。」597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEfUb111Y7E
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEzNPRmAqGl
我還不明白。597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWd2HE1FcWp
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcWbj1AJ8Pf
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqu9FKUluZ3
「妳本來就喜歡小動物、小昆蟲，剛剛一路上來妳都在跟我介紹那些蜘蛛蝸牛，山區就是讓妳更親近牠們的地方，妳這段路爬上來有想到那個男人嗎？」597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTt7mDPrigr
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcBzZZr3Ks4
「……沒有。」597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡluRemlMbaD
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Z6AsGMWmY
「那妳還介意是誰啟發妳喜歡爬山嗎？」597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQG2iDGgkQs
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsFvAqxVgsr
我盯著她，努力消化她的話語。597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVwjCTb8GzF
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtC09vkTtfE
「不管事情是怎麼開始的，只要最後有好的地方值得妳保留就好了。」597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbMu8Azb3T2
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnl7dArjJdT
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj3UbbFshIF
「妳沒必要忘記。」597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡicjY59zutM
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡayeyPvPgKt
我的眼淚差一點就奪眶而出。597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0wDnQJwN1d
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYrz6C4joEP
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvE0zrrUqok
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOAWQNAbhUt
後來。597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIFkUVjB33c
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXvtwRFZuTj
學期順利結束，我依然拿到系上的獎學金。597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXowGRffwP2
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoe5if4pv2X
真正了解我的家人朋友，都沒有怪我隱瞞他們，我以為會面對很多責怪，卻意外收到過多的心疼。597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSPwIqkJOWn
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwL7Z9L4mNy
我去爬了更多的山，也因為山結交了更多新朋友，也間接因為爬山認識了現在的男朋友。597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqkKyc4d1kl
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡen91YwNnaL
在之後我曾和幾個好友在居酒屋裡，酒酣耳熱之際說完了整個故事，朋友們聽到我查證的過程，開玩笑的說「妳怎麼不去徵信社上班啊！」597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOUp78xVlpb
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMCNR50PQHV
而我真的在因緣際會下踏入了徵信業。597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7zb7pm5hXr
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfZIvnDF0Es
看到了更多更多事例，才知道感情的故事，真的都是一個套路，所以我們總覺得「這首歌在寫我」，「這個故事在說我」…因為我們的感情路，好好壞壞，都差不多會是那個樣子。597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn8eNodS8lh
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2BdX41IWUy
我沒有繼續怨恨他，但也沒有原諒他，我只是原諒自己。597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfOzNvqqcDK
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg4fzZ40oaH
在寫這篇之前，我偷偷地搜尋了他的名字，發現他們有了個可愛的女兒。597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0tpaJOhCop
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDCoUpKyvBc
「希望你專心愛她們。」我發自內心的想。597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQGLJkQl7Z
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEoGlNvPgfB
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMblAsvdCO1
597Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnFTUfOlPY8
完。
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