日子還是這樣在過，學校裡的夥伴不時耳提面命「大考將近，獎學金不能拱手讓人」的事，我知道他是逼著我轉移注意力，也就順著他的意，認真上班、認真上課、認真睡覺，好像我換了個叫「課本」的男友，天天與它相伴，沒見著它的時間，都在夢鄉。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsHefukLxed
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCnWuOhm6EJ
但，無論怎麼讓自己逃開，總有那幾個瞬間，會被回憶淹沒，尤其是，酸楚的回憶。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXuejQcSIWL
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡem18gzvSsk
我把自己關在家幾個禮拜，直到被朋友挖出門。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0O4Yh8JDi4
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO172wFkAsc
坐上朋友的車，也不是很在乎要去哪裡，明明身邊有人，但全世界好像剩下自己。
也許這些，都是失去愛情的症狀。
可笑的是我連自己是否曾經「擁有」愛情都不確定。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsOjRnDfxE9
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ62cTYgeuCQ
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6aXtYnXs0a
朋友載我到熟悉的山上，我以為他是要去山頂的土地公廟拜拜。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVJRIhuGuOz
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Dmgn45gdN
「妳最近不是很愛爬山嗎？帶妳來山上走走啊。」540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiLLj0Hswhp
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuuSdRFFSJ6
「……喔…」
我心裡一沉。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡccGDumOaZ4
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUYB1CPX3qj
他不知道我為什麼開始爬山，我又怎麼能怪他呢？540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJPUTSvpwF
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNFMss8w0la
我們延著樓梯，爬到了山頂的土地公廟，便隨意照找了個地方坐下，那是山頂的展望區。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC3rtCprtC9
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF1M5M0acmT
「那是什麼山啊？」
我指著橫過城市、遠處一座被雲海包圍的山。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ981ZQ0rT8U
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQA41TgUef3
「我哪知道。」540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnK6Z2cfT3i
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ324FkURshl
「……說的也是。」540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGFzPa202Xi
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡux0FEwuS2p
我才發現自己的愚蠢。
那是我和張先生一同爬山時，我很常說的話。
他總是像個「山的萬事通」，有問必答，即使在我看來那些山都長得一個模樣，他仍能數家珍般地，念出它們的名。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK933k57I5z
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCdKCOSg8gY
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPvxRjt3qkf
黑兔子找我去唱歌，在包廂裡和另一個女生朋友故意想弄哭我，不停點悲傷的歌來唱，一開始我只是笑，笑她們無聊。
直到某首歌的歌詞刺進我的心裡，痛了那麼一下，我哭了，就停不下來。
兩個女生見我掉淚，居然也跟著哭了，還哭得比我悽慘。最後我還得幫她們擦眼淚。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOWrp7EdUPN
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIk8yX7eNeg
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9OWCewosNr
我很努力要自己不去怨懟、不去記恨，但總對自己被欺騙一事糾結，同時也怪自己不夠聰明、不夠謹慎。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVeiuP4e60H
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsHCA2hrGW5
無法灑脫。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJ9FXB9bGO
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeaYiC5NOfq
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSqj6kXV29p
我還是持續的爬山，但不明白自己是因為什麼而爬。
我害怕自己是為了不忘記他，所以更不敢面對這個問題。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEIiHasFVYd
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJI94nJobB
直到某次，母親找我一同去爬山。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDGStIe6e9
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSy8jClmpGc
那是一座有著神話故事點綴的郊山，山上的涼亭裡還用木板刻著傳說。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw32J5Xfivx
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO16mXFpaLN
「這是我和妳爸爸第一次約會的地方。」540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxxxCByJCuD
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkKCyCuNyqk
母親突然提起父親，自他們離異後，母親甚少和我聊父親的事。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGb2T8hKhra
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZtdZwLJwzj
「我喜歡運動，妳爸爸不愛。我喜歡在舞池跳舞，他只想坐在沙發聊天。妳爸爸體能好，明明是蛙人，運動神經好，私底下卻懶惰得要命。」540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdwk0eC7wLI
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1BWasp32Bh
「但這是我們第一次約會的地方。」540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO4aNnKPVUq
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1jOiHtiS56
我不知道母親為什麼突然說這些。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF5hS8Qu8xL
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjGNyObmssR
「妳和那個來過家裡的先生，應該沒有再聯絡了吧？」540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo43bkAGeXL
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQqlsjbDQVA
「沒有了。」我立刻回答。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRseNCwVwpn
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6PCMtlTiyn
「妳一開始喜歡上爬山，是因為他嗎？」540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3fiSbrP4az
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaGbJBhcmlQ
「嗯。」540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡabowKHJxcg
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlR4u4hiZiF
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBn0QriVUXU
「那他留給妳的影響，就夠了。」540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ205EFybnv1
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBbX7R1wFg4
我還不明白。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJbdNYMjLeB
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEmhq7ex1Uu
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWxsbAytANY
「妳本來就喜歡小動物、小昆蟲，剛剛一路上來妳都在跟我介紹那些蜘蛛蝸牛，山區就是讓妳更親近牠們的地方，妳這段路爬上來有想到那個男人嗎？」540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZMqpn07wS4
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyyVoObIBt7
「……沒有。」540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVJ9oknRVYW
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGb0LF3OAoy
「那妳還介意是誰啟發妳喜歡爬山嗎？」540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSEhOlEr4ow
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFfdvkXVCuQ
我盯著她，努力消化她的話語。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaM3Q4C5Cbe
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgixWMOYu0F
「不管事情是怎麼開始的，只要最後有好的地方值得妳保留就好了。」540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqBk39w8Qmt
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr5V6A1s8xw
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHDvuSpeTWN
「妳沒必要忘記。」540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ4qyMb3RxG
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnwvUcMMXEi
我的眼淚差一點就奪眶而出。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxALcZaLHqc
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfLwoCvKhJr
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuIBBANlSGh
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7nzjoUbiq3
後來。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA7BidBYnhh
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJyJaRdK0GJ
學期順利結束，我依然拿到系上的獎學金。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeaofrd8Mlz
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxMExG2FFf9
真正了解我的家人朋友，都沒有怪我隱瞞他們，我以為會面對很多責怪，卻意外收到過多的心疼。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDD9sYfxqde
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXeZaiC7t8I
我去爬了更多的山，也因為山結交了更多新朋友，也間接因為爬山認識了現在的男朋友。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYzrHfGc4O6
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ieGgj0voi
在之後我曾和幾個好友在居酒屋裡，酒酣耳熱之際說完了整個故事，朋友們聽到我查證的過程，開玩笑的說「妳怎麼不去徵信社上班啊！」540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkKc9sdYuyb
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFIId3xlD1s
而我真的在因緣際會下踏入了徵信業。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRPKjPxYsOZ
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡixrVqVEJLe
看到了更多更多事例，才知道感情的故事，真的都是一個套路，所以我們總覺得「這首歌在寫我」，「這個故事在說我」…因為我們的感情路，好好壞壞，都差不多會是那個樣子。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Bvw3uxQhE
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ29TVtPHsNP
我沒有繼續怨恨他，但也沒有原諒他，我只是原諒自己。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbL62mwU4bK
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH0GMDQofUg
在寫這篇之前，我偷偷地搜尋了他的名字，發現他們有了個可愛的女兒。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpVypf54jhz
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh01OofMLKk
「希望你專心愛她們。」我發自內心的想。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn21ptg2NsO
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYJgIQuMZri
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQdzL1uDmD1
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqyCR50gB9J
完。
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