事情要回到幾個月前。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSI4nObJgG0
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS4RVEwnYLm
「豺姐，我想跟妳道歉。」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVxmceUMKP5
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZHkO8mTse
聊著聊著，他突然傳來這樣的訊息。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsbtfMe0Re7
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrvSXo8BczN
「幹嘛道歉？」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh4HMCxQfSU
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59NwzX118d
「前一陣子，是不是有人密妳的skype，問妳想不想穿高跟鞋踩他？」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJrV0NPMkay
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeiPmQGkq3G
我想了一下，好像有這麼回事。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMej5MdWHOt
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGBaeQZ9XSV
「那個人就是我，但我應該馬上就被妳封鎖了吧？」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCURMCnriix
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqj0rhrOADc
「呃，因為skype是個常常會被陌生人亂加的程式，所以看到奇怪的訊息，我都是直接封鎖啊。」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrjY8vxWhVK
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWpNi46hlbq
「拜託妳現在不要封鎖我。」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEGzKvdEOBq
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqrT7KRaOEb
「不會啊，都是朋友了還鎖什麼，不過你是在惡作劇嗎？」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWjaIerxbjd
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQwALseNlJD
「不是。」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡokNGwzNdrm
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqUVIqfGF19
然後，他開始和我說起，他的秘密。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFB6B9jarWf
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl5VnWyXcKQ
作為一個M，又稱「臣服者」（也有人說是「受虐者」，但我不喜歡這個稱呼），加上「戀物」及「戀足」，他從很久以前，就知道自己的喜好及性傾向，但沒有讓人知道，包括以前交的女朋友。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1NxDUHWwMG
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe6cUIQ7U1f
看到高跟鞋會興奮，產生被虐的幻想；女孩子只要稍微兇他，他也會心癢，更別說是聽到一些汙辱謾罵的詞彙了，那只會讓他更高興。
在他意識到自己的性傾向時，還是個小孩。他下意識的覺得自己不正常，隨之而來的厭惡自己及沮喪情緒很快吞沒了他。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxOhkvEdiAJ
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG2AFViOnto
所以他掩飾、逃避，逼自己過「正常人」的生活及性生活。
直到過了幾年，進入資訊爆炸的時代，Google大神開始顯神威，在網路上發現同好的時候，他才漸漸接受自己。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf9SRy13IiE
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmrd1j3Ex3o
「只是接受了自己，不代表別人肯接受這樣的我。」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX7B7W1yLvv
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcbSBd7e1ML
所以他還是持續隱瞞這件事，也許是過於刻意隱瞞，在戀愛的過程中，他反而像個大男人，所交到的女朋友，也都是小女人類型的，這讓他更不可能坦白自己了。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4gNa1usF7p
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHxF62j1kVd
那天晚上，我幾乎聽完了他到目前為止的人生。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnVBJCVmYyA
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXq4scZ3wi7
「壓抑」，若要下個結論，就只有這兩個字。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN8qyuVP1zE
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbkXapINxHa
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡohbvRWyHqf
「為什麼告訴我？」
不過是朋友的朋友，一群朋友一起出去過幾次，我真的不認為我們有那麼熟。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTmVZWJcElQ
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVerHNI6BbB
「我信任妳。」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmUeZZxB2Ly
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcrQH0Uno2l
「噗，你也太容易相信別人了吧，萬一我是大嘴巴咧。」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ37wgE2mnv6
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdX67WcIOxH
「妳應該不是。」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6LYBaKpsVn
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSGOOH90ENQ
「這麼有信心？」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR8QeEDoLz2
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6KQKq2jmj9
「有一次去唱歌，那個誰不是在說某個人的八卦嗎，說她和哪個歌手有一腿，還墮胎怎麼的。」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFcpGqdjU0D
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDDLyjYLWmg
「嗯？」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡafwFKtx7iU
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9qgNtlzGym
「妳本來在跟大家聊天，聊到這個就自己喝起酒來，也不搭話。我記得那個當事者跟妳有過節。」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ZpS4xlFQX
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWH1BthoLMO
「是有一些無聊的過節，你怎麼會知道？」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcuUyNv3hkE
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvrt8ChcqOz
「因為別人是大嘴巴。可是妳當時什麼都沒說，也不參與話題，所以我信妳。」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHbdfomsdHq
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfunCL904eW
竟然被偷偷觀察了啊。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsXM1JnK3y0
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE6P2TGC24L
「說不定我只是口渴了想喝酒啊。」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡogkuZgE7gw
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzOkufFbqz7
「妳是大嘴巴嗎？」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr3TyI3RYVg
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVqV0mrHbpV
「我不是，但你的故事可能會成為我的創作題材。」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUIzEMrv85J
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXk2yoYmXsL
「哈哈哈。」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrTA7GKIfty
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUQrnXyQlNM
「哈哈。」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9QvbXlnfm0
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtK8ZaOfsz3
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFHCXNP7TOl
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpE1ezZEKFr
他捧著高跟鞋，或許是我的錯覺，他的手彷彿在微微的顫抖。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP1Wwgh8C6E
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo5Yqoml96X
我看著他小心翼翼的，將自己的臉側過，慢慢的貼在鞋頭的鞋面上，一秒，兩秒，三秒，然後離開它，看了看鞋，抬頭，盯著我。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXERzdavhF9
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkCRvjldTQi
他放下高跟鞋，頭低著，對我伸出手。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7aXGk6aunN
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX9wsThtIKM
我有點緊張，所以動作也很遲鈍。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlUe0Gz5FNX
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaSKpmiC3mg
把右腳放進他手裡的時候，我意識到自己的雙手緊捏著床沿。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuuSxCk4Tfl
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHUv5UzN7rY
他微微抬頭，眼神落在我的腳背上。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjCarB9i1qv
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6WHHURVluX
就像電影裡演的紳士，在女士的手背親吻那樣，他也這麼做了，只是把手換成腳。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS53sR8jdAE
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjgEPavMgVa
他輕輕地吻了我的腳背，就一下子，沒有停留，沒有聲響，我也沒有感到不舒服。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSKvLbYUxEI
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcaZnNMn2ff
他拿起高跟鞋，從我的腳尖套上，再合上腳跟，確認高跟鞋穿好後，放下我的右腳。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFIXRrVekoR
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyHoA6YcPrX
接著，換左腳。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBl2XqmXjV1
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKNs9kzYja
因為他的動作一直很溫柔，所以我的緊張感消失了大半。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwjaIZWI7O0
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡePyHoSUcgX
同樣的模式（或儀式）結束後，我的雙腳都穿上了高跟鞋，而他恢復了原本的姿勢，低著頭，跪著。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjcLJWZm0Bw
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgKhjEvuAyV
「頭抬起來。」我說。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Y7Lx9pvVI
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxEqSVRihfe
命令的語氣。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcNSvvw1bNE
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡljDXePCTOX
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl7MSa1RwhA
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf4pGMKGxuD
待續。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCuEbBoHNhu
