事情要回到幾個月前。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDMTdObd87P
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA0A1IyumVb
「豺姐，我想跟妳道歉。」440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxL46a8UREQ
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzdg6ZaFVfY
聊著聊著，他突然傳來這樣的訊息。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkKNxCmFNxD
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRVxiR1efRH
「幹嘛道歉？」440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ81EvIPS2Nl
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh1WJxgamqZ
「前一陣子，是不是有人密妳的skype，問妳想不想穿高跟鞋踩他？」440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbaGnMCyamS
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOLdYjPONXj
我想了一下，好像有這麼回事。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4lR7Sz3dir
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaQyMozeI4v
「那個人就是我，但我應該馬上就被妳封鎖了吧？」440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbTIUCa9yvn
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo9v7eLDJys
「呃，因為skype是個常常會被陌生人亂加的程式，所以看到奇怪的訊息，我都是直接封鎖啊。」440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7juj9qURWQ
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1IR1BC0QDK
「拜託妳現在不要封鎖我。」440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJpnz5mJqvD
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYWLfOc5J0O
「不會啊，都是朋友了還鎖什麼，不過你是在惡作劇嗎？」440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN1KsdxLEY5
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxfQvhbljzW
「不是。」440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy7063AWBYw
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH61cEVYCn7
然後，他開始和我說起，他的秘密。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2F7BwvUvBF
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4m4IFSsVgX
作為一個M，又稱「臣服者」（也有人說是「受虐者」，但我不喜歡這個稱呼），加上「戀物」及「戀足」，他從很久以前，就知道自己的喜好及性傾向，但沒有讓人知道，包括以前交的女朋友。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzYO7MwVF00
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡexsRiMeOVg
看到高跟鞋會興奮，產生被虐的幻想；女孩子只要稍微兇他，他也會心癢，更別說是聽到一些汙辱謾罵的詞彙了，那只會讓他更高興。
在他意識到自己的性傾向時，還是個小孩。他下意識的覺得自己不正常，隨之而來的厭惡自己及沮喪情緒很快吞沒了他。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2JlMn9tuEf
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAcdW3HBvzS
所以他掩飾、逃避，逼自己過「正常人」的生活及性生活。
直到過了幾年，進入資訊爆炸的時代，Google大神開始顯神威，在網路上發現同好的時候，他才漸漸接受自己。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ72mG5qZKQ9
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3VHL6TMmVW
「只是接受了自己，不代表別人肯接受這樣的我。」440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2pU6bV1k42
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2A8kSCLtLY
所以他還是持續隱瞞這件事，也許是過於刻意隱瞞，在戀愛的過程中，他反而像個大男人，所交到的女朋友，也都是小女人類型的，這讓他更不可能坦白自己了。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT7ch7Fng1Z
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCqpktbSnWu
那天晚上，我幾乎聽完了他到目前為止的人生。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSi0wB44V0B
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaWniyqMlnB
「壓抑」，若要下個結論，就只有這兩個字。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNOCivF7LS4
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFD3tv3lGqF
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhphywljWPl
「為什麼告訴我？」
不過是朋友的朋友，一群朋友一起出去過幾次，我真的不認為我們有那麼熟。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXnZtmUJeO0
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIH3hPyZft4
「我信任妳。」440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlTGiAeE7vp
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFXGjd1F5Nz
「噗，你也太容易相信別人了吧，萬一我是大嘴巴咧。」440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzXcUuSOs0U
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpvu6V9lgU0
「妳應該不是。」440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡedmODK6w4x
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsy2Ni4NTTY
「這麼有信心？」440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVFh2C88sU5
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL98YhZh2NY
「有一次去唱歌，那個誰不是在說某個人的八卦嗎，說她和哪個歌手有一腿，還墮胎怎麼的。」440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ22Y90FMGBQ
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmRH1TbdP9d
「嗯？」440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡinKvuG8sdH
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWM3ZQf8ZY
「妳本來在跟大家聊天，聊到這個就自己喝起酒來，也不搭話。我記得那個當事者跟妳有過節。」440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYLrDa9H4tL
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk7kQMmIvrw
「是有一些無聊的過節，你怎麼會知道？」440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKiCsMUx5sH
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzuPjxjtMpa
「因為別人是大嘴巴。可是妳當時什麼都沒說，也不參與話題，所以我信妳。」440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbd11LPkiuo
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCkOp9Q6ek5
竟然被偷偷觀察了啊。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡll43RLHMnC
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVlfVVuPvtE
「說不定我只是口渴了想喝酒啊。」440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoCRHE9agwZ
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKIE0wYVkid
「妳是大嘴巴嗎？」440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCJKhojp7sw
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoyiWMjX2nS
「我不是，但你的故事可能會成為我的創作題材。」440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDUj4zJjHt9
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgVTaEGjTjw
「哈哈哈。」440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkQ5HHyrmbT
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLtFq9NYZSW
「哈哈。」440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2pDGRmXcEu
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn6jn68dZmk
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS3UJZmwMni
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzSJRGUWhI7
他捧著高跟鞋，或許是我的錯覺，他的手彷彿在微微的顫抖。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoq5AFqTS76
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡebPkay0rFw
我看著他小心翼翼的，將自己的臉側過，慢慢的貼在鞋頭的鞋面上，一秒，兩秒，三秒，然後離開它，看了看鞋，抬頭，盯著我。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaXCv4v1bxB
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlSAxuskoJV
他放下高跟鞋，頭低著，對我伸出手。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpMsjj5LFJY
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC4bmvMRS23
我有點緊張，所以動作也很遲鈍。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBvVNCYF9Ff
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡssunSdq5SD
把右腳放進他手裡的時候，我意識到自己的雙手緊捏著床沿。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbbh9XFOY5h
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtqZ5c3mBSc
他微微抬頭，眼神落在我的腳背上。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDdCzvn725m
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcU1NMnEsxn
就像電影裡演的紳士，在女士的手背親吻那樣，他也這麼做了，只是把手換成腳。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUt6vZu71CD
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtuLagUX6ze
他輕輕地吻了我的腳背，就一下子，沒有停留，沒有聲響，我也沒有感到不舒服。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4YbDhO3s4j
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrxAPs3Lmmi
他拿起高跟鞋，從我的腳尖套上，再合上腳跟，確認高跟鞋穿好後，放下我的右腳。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM2juUhLsSt
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmAs5KAkvwW
接著，換左腳。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMvQXH7xjK8
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN2hBooRF6C
因為他的動作一直很溫柔，所以我的緊張感消失了大半。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHOyzmxaWuL
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmnxYbkVtFh
同樣的模式（或儀式）結束後，我的雙腳都穿上了高跟鞋，而他恢復了原本的姿勢，低著頭，跪著。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxRYCbIbVft
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZIPQAkLqn
「頭抬起來。」我說。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbvBvceAUKz
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5GXuHHwAPc
命令的語氣。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqG0BiQTkVW
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡge1reIr2av
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvExRgXtqxu
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN8R530HLx0
待續。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgdFobigpUO
