我站在門前許久，才忐忑不安的按下電鈴。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkIAKPsbvrv
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdswtFuL8YC
出來應門的是個有些年紀的婦人。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1IYeGpKayD
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcPNZ52FlsZ
「請問，這是英傑的家嗎？」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAw24x7banx
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGuMwW5FyT
婦人露出狐疑的眼神。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKOaqaRYHqP
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKBDJcp1aPk
「妳是…？」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Mwi7RW3LT
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBGBvZRy6M5
「我是英傑的朋友，因為我一直聯絡不到他，所以…」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡunjsrDSeog
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS2KtAcOrry
「妳找錯間了，這裡沒這個人！」她揮揮手，避開我的眼神。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaWSPolNtKo
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPGUM8j6rRj
「我知道他被通緝！」在她準備關上裡面的木門前，我急著大喊。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcvthuNiYAx
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw8kYBXHH5M
婦人停下動作，又把木門拉開了些。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡun7HTFmhf3
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKGx79MHDNG
「他被通緝的時候我們還見過面，可是之後就斷了聯絡。」我解釋。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm51X8bMeV2
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg1VbDi2xOI
「妳是他女朋友？」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFRGkWyNlMg
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAXgrp1rBif
「不是，我不是，我是…他朋友。」我沒敢說出自己的身份。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF5sxCmMZSg
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqUTNdUaXyo
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ3XwqTl4pZ
「他沒和我們聯絡也很久了。」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMHggSdZFkU
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡenRvXWteMw
「還有人跟我說他死在外面了。」婦人用著台語說著，語氣平淡得不可思議。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA1a30oGUe7
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhn62u12NG5
我一時語塞，沒能回話。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV4YfZmjiNg
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsds8hR3b3C
「讓妳跑一趟，歹勢，英傑不在這裡，我也不知道他在哪裡。」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsN9pZyxDOD
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4a6D5L1DFc
「那個…那，我可以留下我的手機，如果他有跟你們聯絡，請他跟我聯絡好嗎？」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlxPFcvrDLR
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKrM88iqly
婦人一臉不耐煩，我很尷尬，但還是厚臉皮的寫下自己的號碼塞過鐵門，交到婦人手裡。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3BWxsJgcR6
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡibbpPyVEcK
「小姐貴姓？」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxUo2AZHNVU
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHCGvI48l9c
「我姓豺。」我回得迅速。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh9TAxtRRyO
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQn2Xj1Ym1H
「………」婦人突然噤了聲，透過鐵門盯著我。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRhAHfD3eiR
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmYPdKqoOFg
「糟。」我心想。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGBzSjiuagL
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8jakGqvpUn
她隨即關上木門。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR85xl04i73
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEMLGoRqIqQ
「她知道我是誰了。」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVzcYQD6ihm
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6zfURyb0nw
我當下便明白，不管英傑有沒有回到這裡，我都無法得知了。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7HbkXfxIgn
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtfUPmAIFzo
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkQDBzBh6WM
唯一的線索就這麼斷了。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0qCaJYLwST
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsERdzIdUHs
我不敢換手機號碼，睡覺時也不關機，就怕漏接了英傑打來的電話。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl29g3ts3G7
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡviBgSssIxc
就這樣升上了高中二年級，404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK1VpuspBq5
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuAMxYjjjoe
迎來了人生的轉折。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCDwLu8L6F4
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjjvRaMqGi9
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1kh9bZy9gJ
父母親早在我國小時就已離異，但他們為了不讓我和弟弟分開，便還是住在一起。我在一個富裕的家庭長大，幾乎是要什麼有什麼，生性霸道且極端任性，父親一生風流，基於愧疚或父愛，總寵著我，比起成天碎碎念的母親，我覺得自己比較愛爸爸。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIP6RvGy75T
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT05aBreTv8
在高二那一年，父親生意失利，經營的公司惡性倒閉，再加上「賭」及「面子」，父親找上了地下錢莊。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAmAM667tMP
「家道中落」似乎是一瞬間的事。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPZgGsbqrAQ
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZneSJScr0z
當我放學回家，看見債主找人在家門用噴漆寫上的字眼，我還沒能反應過來。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqGYfGHPIG8
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsNpEzLdwOQ
「都已經離婚了，為什麼還這樣拖累我！」
母親氣得哭了。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjcntbST9K9
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHB9FYLZTs2
某天晚上，母親進來房間，告訴我，房子要賣掉了。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5IqIImnzJA
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOakuJZyqhl
他們離婚後，所買的房子仍是共有財產，父親要把房子賣掉，才能償還債務。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl6morhpBbV
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtVIpm5yhUu
我還沒能了解事態的嚴重，跑到客廳跟低著頭的父親大吼「這是我長大的家，就因為你，所以我的家就要這樣沒了！」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡldalCBC18G
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9QbwqoD2Ce
「那妳要我死是不是！」爸爸第一次吼我。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3S4GjO49ZJ
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡab52mJ8HC7
「我沒錢，地下錢莊說要砍我手腳，我讓他砍是不是！」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK9FbOfwXm6
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjN9AYblL0t
我嚇到了，沒能反駁。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡplfLHlfgIq
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡurlDutZUut
「房子要賣給媽媽的朋友，那個朋友說可以再租給媽媽。因為是妳爸爸要賣的，所以他要搬出去，妳就跟媽媽和弟弟繼續住在這裡，不用搬家。」
母親在旁緩頰。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNMhpZV6kLb
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpyFD1vedJ5
我沒說話，看了看坐在沙發上的父親與一旁滿臉擔憂的母親，便逕自走回房間。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZ2xAo0nOO
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkWGq1csrYA
回到房間，想起國小五年級那天，母親到安親班接我和弟弟，把我拉到一旁說的話。
「媽媽今天和爸爸去辦離婚了，妳爸爸堅持要其中一個小孩的監護權，弟弟又還小…所以妳的監護權是爸爸。媽媽不是不要妳，妳不要擔心。我們也說好不會讓妳跟弟弟分開，所以我們大家還是會住在一起喔！」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzHVLqybE7
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKVTFVqbExi
我突然明白自己不能接受房子賣掉的原因是什麼。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9GGeuHsOiO
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7qqKAQUH4E
我不能接受的，其實是家的破碎。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDp2SvNmkgF
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡak9TQmA1GR
因為一直都住在一起，所以沒有分離的感覺。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Te5ehHaDo
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgWN3c1IVwX
「妳爸爸是一個無情的人。」
「因為小時候是養子，他弟弟出生後，就被虐待又被冷落，所以就連阿公過世也沒回去奔喪。」
「他和前一個老婆離婚之後，完全沒有再過問他們的生活，也從來沒去看過他以前的小孩。」
母親曾這麼說過。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZ0HooqImm
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGXccJv0Cdd
「妳不要管我，反正我的監護權又不是妳！」
「是妳自己不要我的！」
某次和母親吵架，我說了這樣的話，害母親哭了整晚。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUsVe8q9D98
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW3jZgwQYbP
「去和妳媽媽道歉。」
「她沒有不要妳。」
那天晚上父親走到房間嚴厲地說。
而他根本很少命令我做什麼。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFiogblGgG5
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ69rEYBYEjH
「小姐貴姓？」
「我姓豺。」
關上門前那婦人的眼神，帶了驚訝及恨意。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡefe2yQhbiO
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX68UBKhD5w
「以前我會怪別人、怪命運，其實我不能怪誰。」
「曾有一段時間我忌妒妳，妳擁有我未曾擁有的一切。」
「現在我誰也不怪了。」
紙上那美麗的字，看起來多麼傷心。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWqCMjFRiTK
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ2atNCB4Qe
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt0yZ0NEvB3
我的腦中閃現了許許多多回憶。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWjsAxT31uo
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8I3nHeKswi
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqYprd7EcY9
媽媽睡了之後，我走到客廳，父親盯著電視，卻兩眼無神。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBsb30R0tDo
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDDrHPNLHQ3
「爸爸。」我喊他。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmmYMkAD1Bl
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkGxpJwGGzD
父親抬頭看我。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlUf0gpoSvD
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIw9l4iy2vS
「你搬出去之後要去哪裡？」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhEfcdmfV0A
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZP55fa9mD
「我不知道。」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmwxlo6cYBn
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHSW8dF10dd
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq8hOwgh7ai
「我和你一起搬走。」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmYloqzHwpz
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEWa5rOEg2g
我說出這句話的時候，爸爸一臉驚訝。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgHixRpuawU
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiSmZR4CGw5
「真的嗎？」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeHNRak5xv5
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsugIqvgpny
「嗯。」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHPibgZyvLh
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ711AqX6OfU
「…好啊。」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3dwEfYp4qw
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb4rbHqahzP
「那我去睡了，爸爸晚安。」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoIAAh43kre
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡstXPpvzJ4W
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAqP1knECxn
那時，我只想著，父親一旦離開了，我可能再也見不到他。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsbqefAqnfj
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡARUqiMWChO
即使他不是個好兒子、好丈夫或稱職的父親，他仍是我的父親，從來都捨不得打我罵我的父親。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz3MnCmsjLF
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpBYJQKkxb4
隔天，我便自己出門找房子。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD4CYNyRJcX
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvZAJSFBmnx
母親雖然擔心又不捨，但沒能阻止我的任性與固執，就還是陪著我找房子。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO3dHm20UxI
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUfr2IO2j2C
我們在離家不遠的地方找到新住處，因為我當時尚未成年，還是請父親來和房東簽合約，之後，我自己忙搬家，請了開貨車的親戚與國中同學幫忙，把所有的家具都搬到新住處。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkyvfK00M1p
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUaLOcRn4Kf
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1e6jwE6iXh
然而父親沒有因此痛改前非，我們搬家後沒多久，又有新的債主找上門。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4OVMxeqe76
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHYPYbLhRd0
那天，黑兔子（忘記她的人請往前看系列文）趁著假日到家裡玩，我們在房間聊天，父親在客廳看電視。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvaV3e46CRM
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJ6EnjK0yz
正嘻嘻哈哈的時候，有人按電鈴。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR9gAHJ1RSm
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmHFMRxbquD
按了好幾聲，父親卻不去應門。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwxuNii65CM
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyIS42YZnOU
我走到客廳，看見父親把手指舉在嘴巴前面，示意我不要出聲。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU5eY8zgvFQ
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡexPgxJ1QW0
對方按了幾下電鈴，便開始撞門，接著大聲咆哮、怒罵三字經。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoSK4p86tnf
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCiJtzaW6V1
房間裡的黑兔子嚇到，悄聲問我怎麼回事，我覺得很丟臉，但還是告訴她，門外的是父親的債主，我們得裝做不在家…但是債主大概早就猜到我們假裝不在家吧，才會待在門外不走。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7fFIXB9Eej
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXP0udD0MUJ
直到傍晚，我才戰戰兢兢的開門，送黑兔子到公車站搭車。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9LL672Dqhk
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcKFpOB5CQB
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrwEA4t2Q9G
那年發生的事情非常地多，我喜歡上了一個學長，但他卻用各種不同的方式，在我的身上、心上都留下殘酷的疤痕。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHP08zi8NhF
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbIdxvu1fh2
但那是另一個故事了。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoUd3UxbuUX
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZFVBuPPrk1
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcXb639UNa3
我和父親常常為了錢的事情吵架。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWfarQbfG3O
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKRl7RG8Wow
我就讀的學校是私立職校，學費非常地貴。而我放學後在賣場打工所賺的錢，付了生活所需的開銷以後幾乎所剩無幾。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpXVrIBiNhb
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaJdIFje7hI
那些茶來伸手、飯來張口，像個公主的日子彷彿離自己已經非常遙遠。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs52LQLR5RR
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0soBlvVEpc
我偶爾會回去媽媽家吃飯，但絕口不提自己為錢煩惱的事。也許是怕母親擔心，又也許是怕母親責怪父親吧。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnrGnCkADtc
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh64YaxLK0U
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMUE7lDZCZV
在那些身心俱疲的日子裡，我很常想起英傑。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvn1NMakFqH
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqjV4KVBGqH
為什麼一直都沒有和我聯絡呢？404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeBPnJQxhT6
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcDScsyFNnq
難道逃出台灣了嗎？404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQst124pY0n
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡygtDJjb85c
難道…真的死了嗎？404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOSBrLa6sNO
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhLMOcq8FBH
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTXbca5KgrO
一天晚上，我帶著傷痕回家，在家門前，我把運動外套拉起，確定不會被看見痕跡之後進門，想著自己為什麼這樣找罪受。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdGaVSxZXrT
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqTZvW6zZnh
但父親不在家。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFVfdpJ9Gdn
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ0eSq1cBHn
撥了父親的電話，聽見那邊的麻將聲。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGLcl7BTZeq
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZaOAA11Ij
我對父親大吼，卻被掛電話。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3YH7R9edk9
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWfFApCWaY6
那一刻，我想著自己所做的一切。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzSTLYO6wZ2
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡetkPSpySuu
「都是自己選的。」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvVemTOpbB8
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgvyam3LRJX
「沒人逼妳，都是妳自己選的。」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwYEzdlSA0j
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtDXbGfbeho
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEugpNVevxn
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS6ntqB9JxJ
「乾脆，去死好了。」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp1COrih7yz
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkw2ybHzGyU
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVNYWayTFbh
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZdvu2HMpe
待續。
ns3.18.103.55da2
