尋死的念頭一出現，我就被自己給嚇到了。563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMF0h2QloNm
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQm2d7b97Tj
「妳瘋了嗎？」563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7C41pA0nnv
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVowOTBv8UV
腦裡出現兩個我，理性的那個正在發飆，狠狠咒罵另一個我。563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT6mJJvDlPR
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQUaxTuoBw4
而被罵的那個我，只是一個勁兒地哭。563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡADMDODfDcl
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9MAA6tLjiK
我覺得自己隨時都會爆炸、衝動行事，便躲進被窩，用厚厚的被子蓋住全身，連頭都包在棉被裡，不讓任何光線進來。563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs7qIeToQcl
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkjgqCXkwZI
在充滿二氧化碳的被窩裡，我全身是汗，滿臉淚水。563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoJx5zDchet
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4lwwKkos2R
我側身把臉埋進枕頭，把尖叫送進布料與棉花裡。563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgcxitBOBJJ
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtTMYpZX2bU
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjtmZEZPSXe
我往自己的腳下看，有一片草原。563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxZCCOjWyb8
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6xbQwgJ9pZ
面前有一條石頭道路，盡頭是顆大樹。563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Sxtpug8Rf
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡor2reflJ2i
樹下站著一個人，太遠了，我看不清他的臉。563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡinrkxTBjt8
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCpWbHC54mh
所以我走近，愈走愈近，直到我看清楚他是誰。563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEgK8Dk4ydF
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8YAt1Y5GkY
站在樹下的人是英傑。563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ2xQsKJcAv
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ6k3tkl0cX
我跑向他，勾住他的手。563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL3umkSwGeW
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJxTsq3L6Ap
他對我笑著，什麼話也沒說。563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgfJ6DLu3FL
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmhLiD8d60N
我像是要把這些日子以來，所有發生的事情都告訴他，開始滔滔不絕地講。563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL6IVB2UDPu
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbjHDNad7mb
他陪著我走到我原本站的地方，就停下來。563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDkfXuKjaYA
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWS0ag815xA
我還在講，他轉頭看我，伸出手揉了我的頭，就像他每次做的那樣。563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmfWnBRen7Z
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDBYIxQmMz8
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZuGHeSUv8u
我張開眼睛，才知道自己夢見英傑了。563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz2Z5f2pX83
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdZR5CBvpPC
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtyLMD6nvlx
我開始懷疑起自己做這個夢的原因。563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUMKEXmXPCS
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmpOKrCQahM
是太想念英傑了，還是壓力太大需要出口？563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbAgttd0yk1
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡksICQeuzIC
或是…他真的怎麼了，才到我夢裡來？563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFxwwOsK3kC
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSzrNNVCHyQ
我心裡很害怕是後者，但我知道此時的自己無法找到真正的解答。563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr95bpLRiDq
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwYLotafsFq
這個夢緩解了我的情緒，也瞬間恢復了大部分的理智。563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2DbgHMhXqP
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡifAkDBiUJF
不管是什麼原因，都是英傑救了我。563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoufSMFkmHn
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡilMduR0ng0
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoysUsqf5b6
我度過了心中的那個坎，日子雖然沒有改變，但我的心態改變了。563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe5NY79yzWg
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlR98edwjMo
「沒錯，都是我選的。所以，我要更努力才行。」563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYJBxYROT33
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGCxr9bbBDN
雖然，從那個時候開始，過了很長一段借貸的日子。人都說救急不救窮，但我很幸運，擁有很多好朋友，如果我開口，他們總是不說二話的就拿錢給我；就算我死愛面子不開口，他們也會一直逼問是不是沒錢用。我拿著跟朋友借來的錢，繳家裡的房租、水電費、瓦斯費…然後在假日另外打零工還錢。563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP5WANCvc0c
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQTxCQUvNnD
高中的最後一個學期，我也差點因為沒能繳出學費而休學（當時已有就學貸款，但沒有考慮，只想著沒錢就去賺錢，別念書好了），但我那班不知該說是兄弟還是恩人的同學，硬是把一疊鈔票交到我手裡，要我慢慢還，要我和他們一起畢業。563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡycvNpyYp06
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH0hwylcMAr
我沒參加考試，畢業後直接去找了工作。我還清了錢，卻欠了好多人情債。563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXydsqzlm8V
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqgj7VH5R3V
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4vXK0nNeFd
生活條件穩定之後，也談了戀愛，生活圈的人換了幾輪，越來越趨於穩定。
只是在我心底仍有一個空蕩的角落。563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWFeik3qmqN
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ76CXz53dJo
我還是沒有更換手機號碼，一直抱著小小的希望，563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN5qDg5WE1j
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRT4xyPOWK2
可我已在心裡默默地接受「英傑可能已經過世了」的事實。563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡODd0JDiSg4
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyCdRJGGGxl
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9hYSzDJQYi
某天，我的皮夾不知在哪兒掉了，找也找不到。563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4UwAyLF6lb
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU7v6TKAbb8
我辦了卡片掛失，心裡希望有人撿到皮夾，會願意送還給我。563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ajDeTetUB
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVlQIWnH4S2
這時，我才想起皮夾裡有英傑的照片，也想起我們說好要另外拍照留存的事。563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcjVBX5Ey7F
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBCblXLqFIZ
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlMqLbgAUda
我的皮夾沒回來，英傑唯一的照片也這麼沒了。563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpuBfoiM5Fg
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc4ArzQ0eNT
有時候，我會懷疑自己已經忘記他的長相，便努力回想那段日子，但畫面只是越來越模糊。563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZPuEwYiaxD
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhejvaba3Hh
一年、兩年、三年，當我漸漸淡忘這段過去的時候，我卻看見他了。563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaXYrW7h9jA
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcVnsoiGROq
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL80fn9VtQt
在電視裡面。563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcnFroTp0yh
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEkUuUyrJOL
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZJQrcU0mYL
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwAdjfbsvGS
待續。
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