![](https://static.penana.com/images/chapter/748685/2A_igbg.jpg)
接到出版社新指令當刻,我意識到寫作生涯正要面臨終極考驗。在我面前僅餘兩個選擇:屈從或離開。273Please respect copyright.PENANAb7FWLy5pND
273Please respect copyright.PENANA2sm5jeLDzW
我笑,笑自己,笑自己毫不猶豫作出選擇——屈從。273Please respect copyright.PENANAc94MFM8QzY
273Please respect copyright.PENANAuB8hT7ByvJ
「好的。我會試從這方向去構思。」273Please respect copyright.PENANA1B8kZf54HC
273Please respect copyright.PENANAN8VcvbHh9p
「不是試,而是必須依循這方向實踐!」273Please respect copyright.PENANAtqzZzDncUo
273Please respect copyright.PENANA7dByWEzSMZ
「好的。」273Please respect copyright.PENANAp4zwHNJKbe
273Please respect copyright.PENANAxz5Cx1DI0O
多聊幾句不著邊際的,編輯突然說要忙其他工作,我也識趣乖乖走出辦公室。273Please respect copyright.PENANAPERiNL3oG1
273Please respect copyright.PENANAgYJvELpRWZ
在咖啡廳一隅找個僻靜位置,點一客蛋糕,要一杯咖啡,細閱悉才會面時寫下的筆記。273Please respect copyright.PENANA4Y2iRaUdMo
273Please respect copyright.PENANAYE0aB8g92e
嗯……該怎樣形容此刻感受?被否定?被看貶?被強逼?被侮辱?以上皆是。但我沒料到上述所有感覺綜合起來得出的結果並非「憤怒」,而是「無力」。273Please respect copyright.PENANA8E373oGQOw
273Please respect copyright.PENANAumG5LNM2OL
潮流,風潮的流動。流的,動的,變幻的。追上潮流就會成為大眾模楷,追不上潮流就會被淘汰。我明白這是自然不過的淘汰過程,所以無法生起憤怒。若說真要怪罪任何人,也只得怪責自己——我還未開明得敞開心胸拋下固有思維去順應潮流——可笑我沒有絲毫怪罪之意。273Please respect copyright.PENANAX2hkwmhlYU
273Please respect copyright.PENANA830r5dnNbM
對於今日困局,我早有心理準備。273Please respect copyright.PENANALTpvj7JiBF
273Please respect copyright.PENANAylT6NIyS7D
不過在發生當刻,無可避免覺痛。大半輩子的努力付出和個人信念被一下子全盤否定!一直以來支撐我孤身走來的精神支柱被一下子推垮!我還可以相信甚麼?我還可以依靠甚麼?273Please respect copyright.PENANAhKRt6aOyAt
273Please respect copyright.PENANAxY9xDmClsz
內心波濤洶湧,表面淡然幽雅。273Please respect copyright.PENANA6k33FhvwzJ
273Please respect copyright.PENANAD52F4buchG
既然過去和將來沒有必然因果關係,那就好好享受當刻這口蛋糕、這口咖啡。273Please respect copyright.PENANA0O6JX09CfB
家,書房。273Please respect copyright.PENANAFwjHzgkTAZ
273Please respect copyright.PENANA7Hnrw835gT
開始鑽研編輯提供的清單上所有作品,看看時下作品有何熱門題材和成功因素。273Please respect copyright.PENANAR3TcBKCBl7
273Please respect copyright.PENANAm9GjLM9F13
修仙、穿越、同人、BL、絕境求生、困獸鬥、對抗強權、自殺、權鬥、道德批判……題材五花八門,卻也萬變不離其中。基本元素仍是沿用多年以來最受歡迎的愛情、成長、友情、英雄主義、個人主義、諷刺現實,變的只是包裝手法(題材)或呈現方式(劇情必須極端、人物情緒起伏必須激烈)。273Please respect copyright.PENANAXJynLmsoQO
273Please respect copyright.PENANAEDrOPkfg2i
這下子,我似乎明白了「甚麼」,心深處卻又抗拒這些「甚麼」。273Please respect copyright.PENANAgYZ2vwxV0j
273Please respect copyright.PENANA5OnAKMdBag
我放下資料,離開書枱,走到窗邊,倚窗抽菸。273Please respect copyright.PENANATG9UEjVZLb
273Please respect copyright.PENANAUf9Ts3Sfz6
嗯。獨居果然是個正確決定。爸媽受不了菸味,與他們同居只會悶死我。他們常唬嚇我說抽菸習慣會嚇走好男人。我對此一笑置之,沒有反駁——兩老將近七十歲,我沒可能單憑三言兩語改變他們活用幾十年的觀念。273Please respect copyright.PENANAAtXSqgP3Vs
273Please respect copyright.PENANAPXM0qlCru3
情況有如編輯的幾句說話沒可能扭轉我沿用多年的人生觀、世界觀、寫作觀。若說我不思進取、固執、老土落伍,我會承認,然後反問對方認為我該根據幾多人幾多意見去改變我的思維、活出我的人生才算得上積極進取、從善如流、新潮前衛。273Please respect copyright.PENANAMoMBmThGKQ
273Please respect copyright.PENANA0XN9N38mIC
相信對方會熱諷一句:「難怪你的作品賣不了!」273Please respect copyright.PENANAxlAJP6st55
273Please respect copyright.PENANAOC4ywRjtwd
情況正如兩老常於親友飯聚場合當眾冷嘲:「難怪你嫁不了!」273Please respect copyright.PENANAer6QC4DwQZ
273Please respect copyright.PENANArJ5uCBAqSY
唉!感覺真糟糕,卻沒奈何。273Please respect copyright.PENANAV6Q2cRoCXT
273Please respect copyright.PENANA5OibYCLoe3
只得再來一根菸。273Please respect copyright.PENANAnjb3THA4QP
動筆。273Please respect copyright.PENANAC9TzvSWvNq
273Please respect copyright.PENANAdPeGgvXwFi
主角沒頭沒腦掉入不知哪來的時空裂縫,進入神仙世界,與位列末席的異性神仙共同修煉,推翻殘暴不仁的天界首領。然後與己方戰友鬧翻,開始明爭暗鬥,爭權奪利,結果禍及人間,令長站道德高地的主角黯然退下,在人間結識天真無邪的凡女,情愫漸生。誰料昔日天界紅顏湊巧下凡,得知凡女與主角關係,醋意頓生,視凡女為情敵,施以毒手。主角同性摯友為免主角煩心,暗中保護凡女,卻不自已對主角生起愛意,向主角表白……寫得順暢,寫得精彩。273Please respect copyright.PENANA8z9xDeuCx4
273Please respect copyright.PENANA9Bx70R7r0D
完成作品後,我馬上發送電郵予編輯,內容簡潔直白:「我寫不了。請另找高明。」273Please respect copyright.PENANAg0SJM3wUD3
273Please respect copyright.PENANACPfQmvuO8R
刪稿,關電腦,將手提電話調至靜音。世界與我無關。273Please respect copyright.PENANAh0CYiLAlO7
273Please respect copyright.PENANAPyTvZlPjeY
我卷縮被窩,無法入眠。273Please respect copyright.PENANA7chT8I5VMS
273Please respect copyright.PENANAmBGGzxnPvC
我在這世界存活幾十年,如今首次意識到自己與世界之間的矛盾何其激烈,而我自己對此又是何等無能無力無奈。273Please respect copyright.PENANAOIV4Mi9EIl
273Please respect copyright.PENANAKvsdrNoFTA
那種震撼令我忘記各種宣洩方法:哭、睡、逃避、傾訴、吃喝玩樂……273Please respect copyright.PENANAiBBvIATudI
273Please respect copyright.PENANAUQ84hBMOul
整個腦袋幾近空白一片。273Please respect copyright.PENANA0M7rR0AnQh
273Please respect copyright.PENANAK3fPgiiRea
各種情緒猶如乾沙,沒能被搓捏成任何形狀。若強行抓起沙子,沙子自然而然從指隙流走,掉落地面,散開、飛逸、無影蹤。273Please respect copyright.PENANACAGuXFvALW
273Please respect copyright.PENANALRvsVU5gQs
沒法子。273Please respect copyright.PENANAbQRQ0DoAVN
273Please respect copyright.PENANAGeLP08pxOr
只得待時間為我整理混亂情緒。273Please respect copyright.PENANACaORT29gpz
273Please respect copyright.PENANADPLcsaxtfc
正如只得待潮流將不思進取、固執、老土落伍的我淘汰。273Please respect copyright.PENANAhWPTD4TA4N