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根據居民的指示，我沿著竹林小徑走了一整天，終於到達目的地：一間全竹結構的寺廟。它比我預想中更為破落，冷冷清清的。我抬頭望向高高懸掛在山門的匾額，寫著「竹寺」。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6mSOK2HaTy
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhvaXankIcw
蠻有意思的名字。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjVpvLdp1Zo
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYUD3qg7MO7
當我正要邁步內進時，一個打扮樸素的瘦削大叔剛好開門踏出。四目交投，雙方都愣住了幾秒。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpAz36zs6rq
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ86LeLUAFlU
「歡迎內進。」沒等我回答，大叔已轉身為我引路。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvwY0J96HhB
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ01HJVeZTPs
眼見天色漸暗，我不再磨蹭，看能否找到綫索，省卻逗留此地的時間：「不好意思喔，大叔！請問黃XX女士住在這裡嗎？」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSu4PveFSXi
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsbnTUdKUHc
大叔的腳步突兀地戛然而止。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDhFRJlnBP0
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFMEKEtk0m0
是我的提問過於唐突嗎？683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEsqvvZ6rdt
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF6Tu2qu3Xa
大叔回頭仔細打量我，神色疑惑，似乎在猜測我和黃女士的關係。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw6ZEK1eErt
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB1BA9c05il
「有人託我將信件親手轉交予黃女士。」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡflhkVD0lae
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEpFrKBLoP1
「黃女士已離開這裡好一段時間，不知何時會回來……甚或是不知會否回來。」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOaPhmSQE2p
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ewNY9JNdJ
「她有透露去處嗎？」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu88Fkp5CbI
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRbjxvkiMUk
「沒有……我帶你去她昔日的房間試找綫索。」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9lAUakFA9n
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiCConIVtx9
大叔再次邁步，步履沒有之前的輕，重若銀鉛。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEVJ9thodqD
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0q4atmgVAL
陰冷的空氣，空洞的房間，慘白的牆身，最基本的傢俬和雜物。沒有生活的氣息。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDFL72qOcNG
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Pgoaeb0UC
「剛才在門外碰見你，也還真令我驚訝。」大叔沒有進入房間，逕自在門外呢呢喃喃。「竹寺曾香火鼎盛。後來毗鄰的兩個小鎮分別新建更大更金碧輝煌的寺廟，無意間將信眾分流開去，到來竹寺掛單的僧侶亦逐漸減少，住持最終徇眾要求到另一寺廟主持大局。他指派我長駐於此，打掃清潔，說要方便途經的旅客。我一直覺得他想多了，豈料今天就遇見你。」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6U7j010J1l
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTbHYsvWD0A
「可能佛祖不想我白走一趟。」我話中有話，提醒侍奉佛祖的大叔不要忘記佛祖的存在，萬萬不能撒謊。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV6Y34CgVS3
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuAMyy5LDQB
「我可以明天帶你見住持。他有掛單紀錄，可能有黃女士的聯絡資料。」大叔也不是省油的燈，簡單幾句就將我逼至沒有退路的位置：「但我希望你能先對我坦白事情的前因後果。住持是個大忙人。我可不希望為他增添不必要的麻煩。」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡys7dMkOdQf
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyuTKBX45ss
我只得坦白交代。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXLEKPeczMC
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPSfN8hCkwI
我的妻子過身了。臨終前，她希望我能預留一年時間為她完成唯一的遺願：親手將遺書交予離家出走多年的生母——黃女士。事隔多年，黃女士曾在多個地方落腳。我每次根據綫索趕至時，她早已遷居。輾轉間，我追尋至竹寺……683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7umvMoe2Sk
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡekQIK7JIOa
「距離一年限期，還剩多少日子？」大叔生起關切之情。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPRILtgqkha
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJbKFwGXwaT
「三日。竹寺很可能是我的最後機會。」我加倍留意他的神色舉止。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt2Xj2GIA82
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaEi8oW30oC
「不考慮延長？」大叔表現出來的的關切絕對超過一個陌生人該有的限度。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJpGYvZ9Oym
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡva8UWOCTSy
「妻子信緣份。她認為努力過後仍沒能找到，證明彼此有緣無份，毋須強求。她還叮囑我要燒毀遺書。」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHw2fW2f7aN
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGO4Ljte3z
大叔若有所思後，講出驚人的一句：「若果一年期限屆滿時仍找不到黃女士，介意給我看看遺書嗎？」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAhwDSDzNry
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyI8n0GD6Vj
「極度介意！」我心裡認定大叔有事隱瞞。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhgXTn5WSvT
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDrKaqzzozu
尷尬氣氛令大叔不再多話。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd9B3pijzgA
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJbrKh8O97q
晚餐後，大叔在其他地方忙著，我則留在房間對著愛妻的照片痛哭一場。哭過以後，壓力得以紓緩，但心頭卻未能添加半分澄明，混沌混濁。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVmcptGMWdq
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlPcuiIY5GB
我離房在寺內溜達散心。逛著逛著，忽爾看見大叔彎腰對著花園中的小樹喁喁細語，臉上盡是蜜甜。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBpMtVoAfRE
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcZFBXAKCsf
我上前跟大叔打招呼。他微笑回應，和顏悅色，渾身散發著慈祥氣息，沒有白天時的隔膜。我嘗試放下戒心，開心見誠與他聊天。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ6Aa0FQzp6
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡycGvq7klgj
不知怎地，聊著聊著，話題竟牽到大叔的心事去。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNe46wCxWou
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpV5pm69xE9
「貪，使人執著於一切順情之境。嗔，使人執著於一切違情之境。痴，使人不明白真理，致使生起貪嗔。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYyJeYG6Tle
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhXelq5Z903
我痴愚半生，痛苦不已。到此地求法，希望住持指點迷津。但他認為我凡心未盡，要我留在這裡靜思。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8pojwf84vg
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5qoOAk39b5
我在竹寺侍奉多年，住持依然不為所動。我以為他在敷衍我。今天遇到你，我才明白住持所言非虛：任何無關的人事物都可輕易勾起我對逝去伴侶的思念。」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXCXNFB7hHH
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcX1qKMIsCM
我終於明白初時大叔何以對我不太友善。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0cYAyrfxzi
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCIzjWsld53
將心比心。喪妻之後，任何人事物均能勾起我和對太太的思念。我曾抱怨上天幸災樂禍，何解不讓我安靜避世。我已盡力放下身邊一切，辭掉工作，不聯絡親友，遷出愛巢，但偏偏愛妻的遺願就是要我去彌補她的畢生遺憾！我沒有一刻能放下她，因為我的分分秒秒就是為她而過。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpKT2I29rj9
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkloj9RAD1o
那種痛苦實非筆墨所能形容。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwaxTiiD5K
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT7pxyit04J
「你的妻子真聰明，給你的痛苦設下一年期限。只要你在這一年裡拼命為她圓願，往後也就了無遺憾或悔疚。我可沒那麼幸運，不知要拖著這副臭皮囊乾等到哪年哪月哪日……」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCtTkUNinHc
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdl3kZYfSAN
說罷，他跟我和小樹說晚安，然後揚長而去。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm5MWxllzXM
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjDyVJRPM1k
翌日，我翻遍整間竹寺亦找不到大叔，只在他的房間找到他留給我的手繪地圖。我跟著地圖的指示走了大半天，來到住持現處的寺廟。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVyf6NdCjQ3
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhDMTHE0rJA
住持聽罷我的經歷後，不禁黯然慨嘆：「黃女士始終凡心未盡……」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfNcYQyEU0y
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl8pUSvrUNa
黃女士當年拋夫棄女，與情夫私奔。豈料甜蜜日子不長久，情夫患急病逝世。黃女士大受打擊，認為是自己作孽甚深，連累情夫。她來到竹寺，望住持能指點迷津。住持認為她深陷激動情緒當中，容易作出錯誤選擇，逐要她在竹寺靜思己過。可惜她半夜逃離。當黃女士重臨竹寺時，她已花光積蓄在黑市做手術整容及變性，以情夫的外表現身……683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtrJRFdmZDW
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgCR8r90oWw
「大叔就是黃女士？」我不禁驚呼。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8hTljjJ6T4
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPFaJss1fqi
震驚之情瞬間即逝，取而代之的是說不出的矛盾。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdhfOY0Y6sA
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtJVRVxvy6X
這個人，我恨不來，亦原諒不了。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9rjB472C2i
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZBpxb9BLRW
翌日，我和住持往竹寺走一趟。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ62I1t5BscX
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwNDKbHfSuC
寺前，我倆不約而同抬頭望向匾額。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnWDeaOLOrr
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFdkht0nyKq
「你知道『竹寺』何以得名嗎？」住持問。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZtdGk5hFj
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRTYvdsdSFF
「等？」我的猜想有如初來之時。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡluvHfWosQg
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1NNU9wVzeE
「這名字只不過是客觀描述寺廟本身。」住持揚手指向全竹結構的寺廟：「大家實在想多了，對自己的想像投放情感，賦予它過多的意義，致使看不見眼前真象。」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDiUTR0Rjty
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd34SZ4bsxv
我驀地憶起大叔前夜的說話。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL5UzNkU68q
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhCCWs2Io56
住持直接走往花園。不出他所料，小樹已被連根拔起，樹下土地被挖出一個大坑，足以容納一個成人。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWr1OBBfqfX
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ9vqNqWPgv
我心頭一涼，頓時明白那是甚麼一回事：多年以來，情夫的屍首一直埋在這裡。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFXrb1PwAol
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr5j3pjXzzZ
我鼻頭一酸，淚如雨下。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCZi7zC6OCU
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYfs5E4xd3q
「『強逼自己放下執著』也是一種執著。」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlLHirPBdmq
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx3Nm4u1DcS
住持淡然望天，開始為一切生者亡者誦經。
