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我在書枱前呆了大半日。熱茶已涼，但我未嚐半口，心思都在眼前電腦屏幕上——剛輸入的文字不停被刪。字越少，心越亂，人越躁。521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6OwhUhYqE5
521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLogBkYOk5H
不了。受不了。我離座往廚房換茶去。521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV9CX3aY6uJ
521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgaoqv4A7u6
廳中老妻瞄我半眼，大概知道發生甚麼事，沒有作聲，繼續看電視。我對她的不表態不勝感激——她以最聰明的方法維護我的尊嚴。521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAu8NLiIR2d
521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyk0YA5htU7
滾水撞上茶葉，水仙香氣隨著冉升白煙溢散開去。521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4i0X67O15e
521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAonOiXlVyk
壓力似乎一併消散。521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Z16WkOCvZ
521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaiomT4f4gC
茶盡。我再續杯。521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7vHuvPgB18
521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYRahzHS6UN
添茶不是長遠之計——屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcpJHOQLKAv
521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnOFGpNG3qr
嘆一口氣，慨嘆自己太天真可愛。怎麼會相信自己有寫作天分，而且一信就是幾十年。幾十年來，不停寫，不停發表，不停被無視。我只得不停安慰自己說旁人不識貨。521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQIv3Kd23p7
521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7TQWx5YO8y
口不對心。心裡其實清楚自己料子如何。但我還是堅持寫下去。521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLilFCbgRAn
521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxvVQ2VyOqM
是習慣、面子、尊嚴緣故，更是不想承認自己做了一個長達幾十年的白日夢。521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡurc1XEiQnL
521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiLWP0Fq8lw
夢醒一場空。521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB8LBDaBQaL
521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU5xlxl9krw
我本平庸，無甚專長，唯獨寫作能力相對身邊友儕略高丁點。丁點而已，卻足以讓我樂透幾十年。521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbuXp1ouWcA
521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmwl54hV4HM
工作不順利時，我會告訴自己——我的專長不在工作上，所以被罵亦是無可厚非；人際關係不如意時，我會告訴自己——如果世人只能用文字溝通，我該是表達能力最好的人；走倒運時，我會告訴自己——我正在為快要誕生的偉大作品累積靈感……521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvAIP0191Lk
521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Ew43oXPpO
一切都是有意義的。如果我真有寫作天分的話。521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK0VZxMGmXK
521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiU7RcqCa0I
捧著熱茶回到座位。身在心在能力不在。521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbUovGcWhW5
521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYtcSwmsGC6
在刺眼的屏幕白頁前，我又嘆一口氣。521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkjVRzz0lfw
521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm3ocZSeLW9
我不曾長大，仍是幾十年前那個我，沉浸在中文老師讚賞的我。同學們紛表羨慕我的寫作天份，請教我如何想出精彩故事、練出動人文筆。521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6MDTQbkK7f
521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhJmeEPnY7B
我沾沾自喜。521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdsGSzobKZm
521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2L70doFIqT
細心回想，我當時已覺竅門不在天分，而是努力。努力鑽研文字的運用，努力細味名著佳作當中的韻味，努力思考故事情節起伏，努力觀察分析人世百態……名副其實的將勤補拙。521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHygcTECjC
521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZFrecNeBEO
但我沒有向同學們坦白。521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCD9xLQdRUc
521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOK4sK5cxxl
因為我喜歡被讚賞的感覺。521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4VkvzzbnOK
521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwWr8B0pFKE
努力，努力，努力。521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ73MjeBNaOb
521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡClPEVnSr5C
我的寫作技巧與日俱增，亦在多個學屆寫作比賽中獲獎。521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZlqocSmVYV
521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNWapwE3Jle
我以為自己將來鐵定能夠成為作家。521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPk60w13bsf
521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxbf0ElHEKj
以為。521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYlqB5mgB6O
521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBhAIaejuWu
告別校園後，我成為一個普通文職。普通收入，普通打扮，普通生活。521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡExl0iX9raA
521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO7sQWMu6bP
普通得輕易被取代。普通得難以承受。521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGZySVFDL7e
521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBr9vZkqNRU
我不得不告訴自己我是多麼的有寫作天份！我是多麼的獨特！521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCAOCQA4KNP
521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3tG24JTzgk
某夜下班回家，我泡了一壺水仙，乘著茶香全情投入寫作世界。沒有外物打擾，我的世界只有我。一切如願。那麼順心，那麼安寧，那麼快樂。521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG66cBYfobl
521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhjSWd6Ab5d
我的作品感動了我。521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY1dJBFQvsb
521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9bWajYBkdq
我希望藉此找到更多懂我的人。521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJtvfNAMQAM
521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsRTdepOC6c
幾十年來，不停寫，不停發表，不停被無視。我的世界與真實世界不斷相互碰撞。面對無止境的打擊，我不曾問自己為何堅持。因為一旦心生此等疑問，變相在內心種下「自我質疑」的根苗，一發不可收拾。521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9sKfHUuX3A
521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdzQ5BpIjck
無法接受自己幾十年堅持建基於一個沒可能實現的夢想。521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsm3p7fFONq
521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw84qL767VO
無法承受自己生來就是如此普通、平凡、平庸……521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFqj0JQaUNF
521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWsqyVuV3V3
熱茶又涼了。521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRM8Bj1wTl1
521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ933ycKJANq
屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqS5hmd0muj
521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe54QKrP4tm
老妻繼續以不表態維護我的尊嚴。521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIV7ewTSXie
521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGqQO9LuQKw
我的作品只感動了我。521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSov3jW5cju
521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡth1d1iwdmd
因為我的感受只有我讀得懂。521Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsU5Zpz5PCz
