x
我在書枱前呆了大半日。熱茶已涼，但我未嚐半口，心思都在眼前電腦屏幕上——剛輸入的文字不停被刪。字越少，心越亂，人越躁。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjN0XZnDD8b
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSwdM6wOOip
不了。受不了。我離座往廚房換茶去。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUYD8lBAqa7
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfx3R3AdEwJ
廳中老妻瞄我半眼，大概知道發生甚麼事，沒有作聲，繼續看電視。我對她的不表態不勝感激——她以最聰明的方法維護我的尊嚴。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1D25e8fkWs
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPxJeXzoXeI
滾水撞上茶葉，水仙香氣隨著冉升白煙溢散開去。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3IgFMdVI3F
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJulsdPoqh1
壓力似乎一併消散。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Fy3JA5oqs
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡagEFYqRk8F
茶盡。我再續杯。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYq3DDNCfCJ
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDfcuIiNIff
添茶不是長遠之計——屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWRou0pUbVA
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKJ3Px1vhu1
嘆一口氣，慨嘆自己太天真可愛。怎麼會相信自己有寫作天分，而且一信就是幾十年。幾十年來，不停寫，不停發表，不停被無視。我只得不停安慰自己說旁人不識貨。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn06XbV9oR3
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd8dXEQlWmT
口不對心。心裡其實清楚自己料子如何。但我還是堅持寫下去。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ40wjlztdcG
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFf0BucY06W
是習慣、面子、尊嚴緣故，更是不想承認自己做了一個長達幾十年的白日夢。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDFC7V78NTI
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9raWkiKE69
夢醒一場空。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvDJvB6a7kP
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡupBDJggGeF
我本平庸，無甚專長，唯獨寫作能力相對身邊友儕略高丁點。丁點而已，卻足以讓我樂透幾十年。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWhT8a5sPmH
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs9Wu5FkH56
工作不順利時，我會告訴自己——我的專長不在工作上，所以被罵亦是無可厚非；人際關係不如意時，我會告訴自己——如果世人只能用文字溝通，我該是表達能力最好的人；走倒運時，我會告訴自己——我正在為快要誕生的偉大作品累積靈感……540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIS1M0VfF6C
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLyPObrIIYj
一切都是有意義的。如果我真有寫作天分的話。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwKEUSzdGTs
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFFgBaPGBNd
捧著熱茶回到座位。身在心在能力不在。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS5TXgZXsGL
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMrMVPVLqF2
在刺眼的屏幕白頁前，我又嘆一口氣。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMXzkLRl5hy
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6aaZNUoe7k
我不曾長大，仍是幾十年前那個我，沉浸在中文老師讚賞的我。同學們紛表羨慕我的寫作天份，請教我如何想出精彩故事、練出動人文筆。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQf5Lj4e1H
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1AXRcRZk5N
我沾沾自喜。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmjw3R5zo83
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEPm3o8JuEr
細心回想，我當時已覺竅門不在天分，而是努力。努力鑽研文字的運用，努力細味名著佳作當中的韻味，努力思考故事情節起伏，努力觀察分析人世百態……名副其實的將勤補拙。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS8Oju71kAH
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNnLXCTkrVf
但我沒有向同學們坦白。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcgUq9OYxCz
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡliCukrhczh
因為我喜歡被讚賞的感覺。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiEsnG39Kit
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQLLXN8XTBG
努力，努力，努力。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyyiPXuqKBy
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDPZ2umXgUn
我的寫作技巧與日俱增，亦在多個學屆寫作比賽中獲獎。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3zDsTVT7Mp
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuGRjeKCatz
我以為自己將來鐵定能夠成為作家。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMkjcdcGdlC
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8klFgpxEUr
以為。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGVoBVggHX
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2QmjRSD2gI
告別校園後，我成為一個普通文職。普通收入，普通打扮，普通生活。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiAVEvlwDZN
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYOJygEg7y9
普通得輕易被取代。普通得難以承受。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdTblhOwQZU
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPL7sAHwROX
我不得不告訴自己我是多麼的有寫作天份！我是多麼的獨特！540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa6FeNwIAlf
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD7nGsTIzoA
某夜下班回家，我泡了一壺水仙，乘著茶香全情投入寫作世界。沒有外物打擾，我的世界只有我。一切如願。那麼順心，那麼安寧，那麼快樂。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTGrSddOMxc
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvRuQh5Vuzh
我的作品感動了我。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMP9KKCbAAi
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjDBZhWI6h2
我希望藉此找到更多懂我的人。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5SWU5Q6GcI
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtkMd964On1
幾十年來，不停寫，不停發表，不停被無視。我的世界與真實世界不斷相互碰撞。面對無止境的打擊，我不曾問自己為何堅持。因為一旦心生此等疑問，變相在內心種下「自我質疑」的根苗，一發不可收拾。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM0AXcdIdB7
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ5FqblJAFk
無法接受自己幾十年堅持建基於一個沒可能實現的夢想。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYeo6x8MQYh
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJvZxbKJMUq
無法承受自己生來就是如此普通、平凡、平庸……540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4cSND97qnl
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlTkg8m5SlO
熱茶又涼了。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJoRPTwy0Of
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTpo6vRp7pK
屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvVGAFegIW7
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwIQ4bfiAyn
老妻繼續以不表態維護我的尊嚴。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5R3jL32ZvM
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiRI0hDklVS
我的作品只感動了我。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxhqBYP4dw1
540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5kcX0Y92vg
因為我的感受只有我讀得懂。540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡouwOHAldHZ
