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我在書枱前呆了大半日。熱茶已涼，但我未嚐半口，心思都在眼前電腦屏幕上——剛輸入的文字不停被刪。字越少，心越亂，人越躁。453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9PeYp7NHJa
453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqvXAhd9Jq5
不了。受不了。我離座往廚房換茶去。453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ8rGdVBNXX
453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ928mn2U1Kr
廳中老妻瞄我半眼，大概知道發生甚麼事，沒有作聲，繼續看電視。我對她的不表態不勝感激——她以最聰明的方法維護我的尊嚴。453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOwL7Qzsj3C
453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbCZgzIez9h
滾水撞上茶葉，水仙香氣隨著冉升白煙溢散開去。453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrfQCQL1mES
453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQIw76QIgwg
壓力似乎一併消散。453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIyZJjaFP0f
453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1RuxKnkk7m
茶盡。我再續杯。453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcFUtLQwgy4
453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsRBEX8Dtt7
添茶不是長遠之計——屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDUmES1OMkq
453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf6nFlJI2yz
嘆一口氣，慨嘆自己太天真可愛。怎麼會相信自己有寫作天分，而且一信就是幾十年。幾十年來，不停寫，不停發表，不停被無視。我只得不停安慰自己說旁人不識貨。453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMXG4kCkKtp
453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl8U3ddZW6T
口不對心。心裡其實清楚自己料子如何。但我還是堅持寫下去。453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxi1NV1gi1e
453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcPSKRL79Xi
是習慣、面子、尊嚴緣故，更是不想承認自己做了一個長達幾十年的白日夢。453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8DhYVDXEj0
453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrDKzed2wMg
夢醒一場空。453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpzsjoVkxcS
453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvGZHDaLGJQ
我本平庸，無甚專長，唯獨寫作能力相對身邊友儕略高丁點。丁點而已，卻足以讓我樂透幾十年。453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh6RaJPR5SY
453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEwBtlN8HA0
工作不順利時，我會告訴自己——我的專長不在工作上，所以被罵亦是無可厚非；人際關係不如意時，我會告訴自己——如果世人只能用文字溝通，我該是表達能力最好的人；走倒運時，我會告訴自己——我正在為快要誕生的偉大作品累積靈感……453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWveydrGXM9
453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa2k6p4KzBt
一切都是有意義的。如果我真有寫作天分的話。453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTAuueA315P
453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs1Jx6riktA
捧著熱茶回到座位。身在心在能力不在。453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxG6Yipkwsd
453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVT4E81sSUg
在刺眼的屏幕白頁前，我又嘆一口氣。453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDfV3LzC2pc
453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFfeNOsLsWB
我不曾長大，仍是幾十年前那個我，沉浸在中文老師讚賞的我。同學們紛表羨慕我的寫作天份，請教我如何想出精彩故事、練出動人文筆。453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaGjVEC4LPL
453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5D5yyF3L68
我沾沾自喜。453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqwZpz8u27n
453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQt6duchKmM
細心回想，我當時已覺竅門不在天分，而是努力。努力鑽研文字的運用，努力細味名著佳作當中的韻味，努力思考故事情節起伏，努力觀察分析人世百態……名副其實的將勤補拙。453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrstLz3SPkL
453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHkkMlbDxBo
但我沒有向同學們坦白。453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzqskl8fl44
453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVJCb95L1z4
因為我喜歡被讚賞的感覺。453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1QWXU9XhX2
453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6NAjkTx30X
努力，努力，努力。453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSvsxTrbK6J
453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1nvjfOe0VJ
我的寫作技巧與日俱增，亦在多個學屆寫作比賽中獲獎。453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUouf1FWIWy
453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1puJmKVfs7
我以為自己將來鐵定能夠成為作家。453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDckKwZrHgy
453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpV0PPuC6BD
以為。453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzI7LU4TIuI
453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWvr5KzlakH
告別校園後，我成為一個普通文職。普通收入，普通打扮，普通生活。453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfTnPGyOV6Q
453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8EqmgNA4Kl
普通得輕易被取代。普通得難以承受。453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ834qevFwU7
453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnQK8RIKfG8
我不得不告訴自己我是多麼的有寫作天份！我是多麼的獨特！453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0OXmVCct3b
453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPm4wjvHPim
某夜下班回家，我泡了一壺水仙，乘著茶香全情投入寫作世界。沒有外物打擾，我的世界只有我。一切如願。那麼順心，那麼安寧，那麼快樂。453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKoR14ZD0B8
453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpxbGYpMYa2
我的作品感動了我。453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl0QzbqtptQ
453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡigqZBqgb5D
我希望藉此找到更多懂我的人。453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmwx3J8tkR5
453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpIsmxcoOuY
幾十年來，不停寫，不停發表，不停被無視。我的世界與真實世界不斷相互碰撞。面對無止境的打擊，我不曾問自己為何堅持。因為一旦心生此等疑問，變相在內心種下「自我質疑」的根苗，一發不可收拾。453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJBNyKwZGn0
453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84TcEhXMGv
無法接受自己幾十年堅持建基於一個沒可能實現的夢想。453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrtMQDwGc5x
453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfR5NVtI8UT
無法承受自己生來就是如此普通、平凡、平庸……453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV7DJjLno5c
453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRHT3N7sDnX
熱茶又涼了。453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiEfDRwL7bP
453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfkbw7PaPHE
屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAVRvxAUPpd
453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDOAx5UTFC
老妻繼續以不表態維護我的尊嚴。453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDdYXrH6b8u
453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3idsKqtDw
我的作品只感動了我。453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkepZ13knQC
453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZfIWxDV9Kg
因為我的感受只有我讀得懂。453Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRrYkCst1p9
