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午餐用膳後，男生們大多會將多餘時間花在學校操場，或場上打籃球，或場外觀賽。我亦不例外，在場邊與同學輕聲討論打球技巧。忘形之際，一個籃球高速自後側飛來，狠狠砸中我右耳耳背。場中男生上前向我連聲道歉，我只道不要緊。男生拾球後繼續回場較勁，沒把事情放心上。當然，我也沒所謂，小事一椿。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTb1c2TAR7j
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡckkq3vMM0g
令我在意的反倒是球場另邊有個陌生男生對我微笑。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2VnojQArN1
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCY1Xtjjz5O
匆匆一笑，半秒即逝。他轉頭跟身邊友人繼續說說笑笑。我挺肯定自己想多了——對方不是故意對著我笑，僅是他的站立姿勢及面向角度湊巧朝著我這邊來。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRkDhiniXGQ
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsjl37vzXr5
但我還是記住了那抹笑容，記住了他的臉容氣質，記住日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrBDaaF5OUw
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlewULJ7rbu
為何記住？我解釋不了。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnsY50XFsRM
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkRSdp1LlGC
好幾個月過去，夏天轉換為冬。颯颯寒風成功減少場邊女生數目，男生仍然在此閒聊逛蕩。同行朋友忽爾興起，動身到場裡打球。我笑笑婉拒，說吃飽想睡不想動。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxEcIVas1DD
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQgzxbLDTI
我獨坐長椅一邊，納悶之際，兩個男生前來佔坐長椅另端空位。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4vMI0jfRO
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJOloFjWV70
其中一個是他。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm8RwIDpBAh
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRhZKFf3DA7
那笑那臉那明暗，歷歷在目。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfe0T79kSD8
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnp93A7sqvP
心頭一顫，我馬上別過臉去。數秒後，我稍為冷靜，意識到自己的失態，佯裝無異，繼續觀看球賽。不過他似乎察覺我的異樣，有意無意對我展露笑容——一個意味深長的笑容。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR0s0ICax3i
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVNPGUneXQJ
我尷尬離座回課室去。走樓梯至三樓時，他竟從後叫住我。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3QTYiS1VkV
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡthp17hZYzb
「你遺下銀包。」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVXr10lTscp
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNPrdtCfuME
「謝謝。」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoTAdeXwHRG
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqLKeJsr6Vk
「不用客氣……」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwpm4ov5gVi
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa6zhbBrBSb
奇怪。看他忸怩模樣，他似乎還有話要對我說。說甚麼？不是必須相識的陌生人可以如何打開話題？甚或是「為何要展開話題」？526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡowS62giIlg
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDr8ro8B7tU
氣氛尷尬，四目交投，卻不知如何是好。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡScv8UHwRpe
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdfJLa0I4D6
直至提著半滿水桶和微濕地拖的校工在我倆之間經過，彼此才回過神來，甚有默契同時分別從兩個方向離開。我往上，他往下。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmswPQ3Pohs
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXqG9XHZ4VT
誰料在午飯時間完結後，我們還是在五樓走廊再次碰面——原來我們都是中五生。由於班別不同、社交圈子不重疊，所以未曾正式認識。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTdYixPeJqK
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8dqq3bP0EN
不要緊。現在互相自我介紹就可以。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMCcGyCqF6o
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiQqdY7ocMe
「我是文班許家偉。」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡarvkXzqjjc
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMi5uMuCP46
「我是理班李浩榮。」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1khbSVocDy
其實我早已知道許家偉。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtLhVtlHCSV
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPZQaKYOOWt
我心儀對象就是喜歡許家偉。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQM4YlTQ01y
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1zy7nBow97
被拒絕的心情久久不散。我開始留意許家偉這個人。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwy3t0u3W7D
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcgK8ghwP71
拜託阿強向文班生打探有關許家偉的事。某文班生說許家偉無啥特別，亦無專長或短處，是個存在感不強的乖學生。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPqYYBiWWpD
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfmDetBwo6f
我不明所以——為何心儀對象看上他？526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQcVovMXMyn
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCUktpuZgAo
不是認為心儀對象定要接受我或是對方必須比我優勝，只是我真的找不到許家偉有何可愛之處。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQ1dtvXZiV
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2UwcNSx2NN
不服氣。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6kSV2U8Sm4
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE8M2ldQg3d
繼續觀察他。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZImE78tijW
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkaFWhXjabf
匆匆數月，秋去冬來，我對許家偉好奇不減。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0p2M7w4pMo
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlT5nR0FdSl
某天午餐後，我和阿強發現許家偉獨坐操場長椅，於是立即齊齊上前佔據長椅另端，近距離觀察他。他似乎發現我們的奇異目光，動身離開。正感沒趣，阿強發現地上有一個銀包。查看內裡，看見許家偉的學生證。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDce9mSqHmS
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZEYpb3HXrE
阿強建議取走內裡金錢和學生證，再將銀包交到校務處。我反對，擔心惹禍上身。阿強問我是否討厭許家偉。我無正面回應，僅是堅持物歸原主。阿強讓步，將銀包遞給我。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIh2lT4LsT5
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjxPizP32un
我急步追趕許家偉。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxS8w8k4Okd
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEXXnSqLkOO
不明白自己此刻行為。正如阿強所問，我不是討厭許家偉嗎？人前，我一直表達對許家偉的討厭；人後，我曾多次理性分析過自己有沒有討厭他的實質理由。沒有，尤其在我對心儀對象忘情以後。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlz8rw2V3c4
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXnmPf2QS0I
奈何留意許家偉經已成為我的習慣。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmRJlNO5dCi
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuaLGDOTGpv
遠遠看見他的身影，我自然而然打起十二分精神；聽到心儀對象與好友聊天時提及許家偉，我對他的好奇大於對心儀對象的；走經中五級壁報板，會不經意試找許家偉的名字……526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcKELhdjLU1
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR1CKUUFITu
「你遺下了銀包。」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQorMcGC5qr
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk81d9nV63d
「謝謝。」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvB5QFEgOb4
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI7xoDLo7SY
「不用客氣……」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7t9OSwsl5f
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA1WxH35kZd
經已物歸原主。他道謝，我虛應，然後該是沒有然後。但我們還是愣在原地。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0VIuMuKOJ6
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvwTUb1IATw
該要說甚麼？還需要說甚麼？沒有啊！但我們還是原地愣著。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD768mYhRoI
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD1sBSeYK9O
他是否一早知道我？他是否早已察覺我在留意他？不會吧……526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2iZTiAf2ev
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcVOKCJ5W7W
我望入他雙眼。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSU9uw4NZoO
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu05Mk4so2b
不。我鐵定他不認識我。他的眼神迷惘疑惑忐忑，似乎在期待甚麼……526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcHyKhcHHfD
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX4psGfEVvb
一名校工在我和許家偉之間走過。我在視線被阻擋當刻回過神來，低頭轉身離開。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWH4iXBTEyt
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7w0An2MscL
我回到操場側長椅。阿強仍在，問我有否教訓許家偉一頓。我苦笑罵他發神經。阿強收起笑容，認真勸我別壓抑情緒。我說理解許家偉是無辜的，不會繼續討厭他。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaPPmQ0iNxZ
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLloMR1n3uw
上課鈴聲響起，學生魚貫回課室去。人群中，我在五樓走廊與許家偉迎個正著。他驚訝之情洋溢於表。我反倒開懷笑了，笑他遲鈍，後知後覺。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ209g5HD476
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqP10NHFc18
許家偉臉紅，禮貌地點點頭，上前自我介紹。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIXfviPGE23
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE9YYbzoyxW
「我是文班許家偉。」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYIykJcPtEF
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqV2ofz9OL4
「我是理班李浩榮。」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡruEuNHGZz9
畢業多年，我跟李浩榮從未聯絡過——當我這麼講，舊生聚會上人人皆表出乎意料：「你們當年那麼要好，竟然未曾聯絡一次？」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD2TXrTU2NJ
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGwRNaWiYWZ
我笑笑點頭，不多解釋。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQCkzyIWSAl
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvuO37nk1Of
畢業禮當晚，他告訴我，他的心儀對象喜歡我。我問他那女生是誰，我可以當面拒絕她。他說不必，因為他已不愛他。我感到奇怪：如已釋懷，為何重提。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrFH51Ako2j
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeOn0EBtz8w
李浩榮笑笑，笑說他已覺悟，明白人的真正作用。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4StWP9ktnx
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlmmX3xUfKD
聽到這莫名其妙的答案，我就知道他醉了——他喝下很多酒。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoj0tg8oQa5
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXb2edUiUmS
他說人的真正作用就是將另外兩個不相識的人串連在一起，或是把深交的兩個人分開，例如那女生無意間將我帶到他的人生當中，而我又無意間成為他和青梅竹馬鬧翻原因。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6zrDufIuei
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA6YMT0rRJb
我大概聽出話裡的話。有點難過，有點無奈，有點害怕——害怕今晚坦白心聲以後，我和李浩榮再無交集。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr73DoP9shs
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQMygTlauRk
但我沒有阻止他。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbaoj2gVvuX
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr5b0qWcdEA
他壓抑已久，情感需要釋放。這很可能是我以朋友身份給他的最後禮物。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWGnVr1ptON
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMguT9fKNjM
我慫恿他繼續說下去。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡen3rEghUzB
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz2KXVHaMdB
他跟阿強相識於幼稚園。他倆都是頑皮孩子，經常氣得老師向父母投訴，父母夜裡就來一頓痛打。他們經常看到對方手腫腳瘀，起初會擔心對方身體，後來發現彼此不怕捱打，只怕玩得不痛快。相顧輕笑，再玩再捱打……玩著捱著，二人同甘共苦十四年，彼此之間有一種難以言喻的默契——只有阿強看出他非但未曾討厭我，反倒羨慕我的不起眼。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLDgx7zKWXW
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBOT7OkNxJ9
我好奇李浩榮何解會羨慕不起眼的人。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWRnNXxGNJV
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7toDBs7M0S
「不被注意、不被期望，方能活得自由稱心。」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaQUYXuncMt
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ07Obvb8Wkz
我問他是否有煩惱，可以向我傾訴，也許我能想出好辦法。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBK7OqOc4yj
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Ep8rpd5C8
李浩榮報以苦笑，沒有正面回答。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb06LrFV09d
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG38seitBsP
那夜，他喝得爛醉，我送他回家。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmQjYpBlN1U
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIuzqmiKtqx
伯母應門。是個凶神惡煞的中年婦，語調急促，不帶尾音。她接過李浩榮，留下一句道謝，利落關門。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdrcKMFV1qw
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQ4e1CwOSP
門關。心頭若有所失——感覺永遠不會再見到李浩榮。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7abba2Gyzd
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzUdr7mhU8N
其實沒甚麼大不了。這是人生必經的離合過程。不會令我受到任何傷害，亦不會令我蒙受任何損失。著實沒甚麼大不了。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqYEecLyspF
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63k4a06ppI
但我掛念他。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtV1g1n0Ku9
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOlVAXClj9U
不是偶然想起，不是遇上麻煩、需要向他求助，不是看見眼熟物件進而聯想。沒錯，是真正的掛念——我無法自欺。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBamuYL38uR
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK1oEXddx1r
想起他，我不期然會笑；想起他，我感覺窩心；想起他，我會自覺孤單可憐。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPzi76VLicK
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo4QlTb4RQL
我漸漸意識到這是甚麼一回事。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQRT7HLzzjD
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Ss5487bCR
糟糕了！怎麼辦？怎麼辦！不知道。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlYqEjSUy6t
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxIulZ3kUv3
不要說。不要聽。不要見。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJf6GuORrfL
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKcygi50pf4
希望時間會沖淡一切。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8elFt6XVqk
依稀記得畢業翌日在自家客廳梳化醒來的畫面。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEn9WA0TaHl
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnFtHjm1Kqt
首先映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。眼睛無法於短時間內適應，煞是暈眩，有一股酸餿灼熱自胸腔冒升。想吐。沒法吐。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ZAE20k1pi
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKhImvPecfR
阿媽沒有理會我，背對我在廚房煲湯。她對著湯煲說：「昨晚是他送你回來。」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSfy7HcsAry
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8AdaVF0cA5
我敵不過暈眩與劇烈頭痛，重新軟癱梳化上。沒回話打算，反正阿媽定會繼續說下去。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLCmvEwmRmC
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNEeksG5ne2
「我不明白你為何喜歡他。」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqYVi0FVQ8F
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx6dEFhbGAb
「我也不明白。」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPLYgvENfCt
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnKtkTCZ9Kj
「那就不要繼續喜歡。」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQCmYEER1bX
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKrG06FkDew
「感覺，並非可以自由控制的。」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPgj4uFG2OS
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbpJF6U1OYj
「我亦無法自由控制我的兒子喜歡誰。」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbhNVKyhQdL
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTHNPrZyBU7
「我也無法自由選擇誰是我的母親。」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5NQIRRnNJL
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVAfRKx01wQ
「真抱歉——未得你同意就把你生下來。」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGkUwtxY7ly
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPa4iKY8xzz
「你該要對我感到抱歉。」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE1Nu3ehtJO
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡISwAY67ISS
我晦氣，毫不掩飾對她的討厭。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQtvsFePcfV
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTb1iGCwqTI
阿媽沒再多話，繼續在廚房忙著。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqdGK9hJHFo
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy3o0Z0FA44
真要命。人生就是那麼多無謂紛擾。我的人生屬於我，為何旁人總愛插手？526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡARnO1rZYli
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQ5i6MqMBD
抵著頭痛，我硬撐起身子小便去。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtXFt9GdNdR
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBRt8ylWaK0
在抽氣扇綿延不斷的摩打聲襯托下，小便聲清脆得噁心。噁感令我清醒不少，昨晚回憶開始隱約浮現。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRaRRk4FDbs
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNPaG6aiuM
我似乎講過一些不該出口的話。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMI5CWhfm3s
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGGHV50Rs5X
真的嗎？我真的把話說出口？526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4eqPrBx7ZR
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJM6bv4LkpP
為何這麼驚訝？阿強醉倒後，我特意喝下更多酒，不就是為了把話講出口嗎？526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4jawWROUCf
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlMuioDjcyg
便意盡，醉意消，騰出來的腦空間被後悔和自責分佔了。我呆上半晌才提起褲子洗手去。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLZfmfF66rd
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5oEcapynBr
為何要走到這一步？526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk2oSqGCZ23
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQJ9JleduSb
阿強早已看出我對許家偉的感情，擔心我走上「歪路」。我有點兒生氣——誰有資格定義這是否歪路。阿強自知沒能說服我，乾脆將觀察所得告訴我媽。性格暴躁的阿媽一反常態，冷靜淡然勸我切勿繼續投放感情。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzEniXmtV8f
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpse1Vkx8xf
「世人表裡不一。口說開明，實質守舊。」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCMnhVTsYS7
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9wFcK4oL3L
「是嗎？你呢？你口說放棄，心底裡在支持我吧？」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHDZ2gNeSmx
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVi8HsTvBgL
「別倔強。」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtaP3rznw5z
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCKWbnAEthD
「我想要知道你的真正想法！別敷衍！別蒙混！」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsAF2N3tz7g
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPYyXq20mPg
「我想你放棄。」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrz36UD7FYJ
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFmSHkszYeF
「原因？」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3cLjMR91lM
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Iy0mHDXTG
「現實終歸是現實的。你將要面對的困難並非單靠信念、希望和愛情就可以解決。」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEi0AlUV2io
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGYfmuz6y6l
「我知道。」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZocD2gpxFn
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHL0h5eiPJJ
「何解還要繼續下去？」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuNMuujEZeT
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡClzK20v4iq
「感情易放難收。」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVlT0k8qpbe
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqAkW3LjkDq
阿媽沒法回嘴——「感情」一詞明確否定了邏輯和理智，她還有何話可說，只得被動地待我回心轉意。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw1M4rYwD1G
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiJCZdrQZ6I
傍晚，我約見阿強，在公園暗處與他打一架。我們手腫腳瘀，有如兒時被父母教訓一樣。看著彼此頹喪模樣，我既心痛亦生氣——我們的友誼不該淪落至此！我們該可以當一輩子兄弟手足！526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJkfe4T8aTW
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv3GZ68NHNu
架後，我沒有留下片言隻字，待身體稍稍恢復後首先離開回家去，懶理阿強依然躺在草地上粗喘不已。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTUUIS4xkzF
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhEYpKA6jbY
阿媽見我身上有傷，許是大概明白那是甚麼一回事，沒有多問，亦不予關心。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlPU0MCt19w
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ15Au4mvsTd
我不在意，一心思考如何在畢業禮當晚向許家偉表白……526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYQmMNvAKjk
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVdxHS59H5u
畢業禮，是終結也是新開始。學生們穿戴整齊，戰戰兢兢上台領受證書。莘莘學子前途未卜，能夠掌握在手的只有當下。今朝有酒今朝醉，齊齊喝酒齊齊醉。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbLs9dSZphZ
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzTfap7GS4W
阿強取來一支烈酒，邀我對飲：「追求真愛不是那麼容易。至少要比我更能喝。」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ43z89wTfEr
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTFwO9SXJrI
我欣然接受。他很了解我，許是估計到我將會乘著酒意找許家偉表白去。我唯一擺脫阿強的方法就是先把他灌醉。我們都不是省油的燈，自小經常一起偷偷喝酒，十分清楚對方酒量和醉態——一旦倒下，沒有廿四小時可醒不過來。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvfPwZ0ucRH
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8MOBfKXZww
小醉。半醉。大醉。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAHU9zt0T5h
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRBgRCaKAfi
阿強半伏枱邊，傻笑問我：「想好如何表白了沒？」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Tk60aFu0G
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5W2rDGtLPM
「直接講我愛他。」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRxTkFROKN0
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrikH8wVyWp
「如果他拒絕？」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqTgFSQH9A6
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEOcLLqTnX
「沒怎麼樣。就像我之前被女同學拒絕那樣。」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeVNl3D6bmy
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGHLNqvYCdv
「如果他接受了？那怎麼辦？」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW8fPC0TLg1
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWT9cKr1ULU
「我當然是高興！」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlmraJbo1aB
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ24O8UdSrKm
「我在問，他會怎麼辦？你認為他的內心強大得能夠與你共同面對往後一切？」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3kAADBMK2Z
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJ1MDagDGX
阿強問了一個我沒有想及的問題。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9BcseQkVKz
事隔四十年，我和李浩榮在阿強的喪禮上再次聚頭。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXpDMidUMnb
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkxujR1CxzD
李浩榮說他在畢業禮後與阿強斷絕了聯絡。我為此道歉。他問我為何道歉。我重提他酒後那段說話。他反問我是否真的認為過錯在我。我答不肯定——我無心令他們鬧翻，但我確是他們鬧翻的原因。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaCUx07rtSr
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU3nllgpmoB
李浩榮苦笑，笑容意味深長。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLaSSr6NyG9
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlmzxZOVvVF
「阿強沒講錯。你真懦弱。」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS4ffCu0YpA
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA4c6RKAmzl
「活了那麼多年，經歷那麼多事情，我不得不承認自己的懦弱。」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx82el2jnqo
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaZEvEqtzDo
「你仍然單身？」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZcTrg2NUA
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxAhT4Bopur
「是的。」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHrL9xv7yP9
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjl29gELeBd
「要我當媒嗎？」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHmL5cDu9DM
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5wL3hVVidm
「不了。難為情。」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGf3X7duIg4
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKoZh1b5pPG
李浩榮失笑，笑我不值得被愛。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZCTgiFHOq9
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsLk3fuwTa1
我陪笑，笑說我懂得珍愛自己就可以。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQOBeLiPl3d
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj3kJNL39bx
多寒暄幾句，我和李浩榮相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkaGqbC8JV0
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxTvdnPqUQa
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwDt7qFGvAx
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Ac4KfKteU
回家吧。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH8U4SESBLG
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡotyk749phn
開門。門後空洞空虛空蕩蕩。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkgEnGDk3Xq
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw9LuQiZOgW
「戚戚慘慘悽悽，清清冷冷，覓覓尋尋。」興之所至，我一邊脫鞋，一邊倒背《聲聲慢》首三句。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ52b7ReECvm
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXMTq737kgA
「尋他千百度，驀然回首，那人卻在燈火闌珊處。」沒有脫襪，懶洋洋得撲到梳化上，順口接上《青玉案．元夕》末句。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDDi1rVYz0z
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2mOPihdY7a
枕臂望窗，映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。驀地憶起日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗，憶起他的臉容氣質，憶起那抹笑容。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfkoTdgRUBu
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzr9o2c9Ovx
大概是一見鍾情吧。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHYNBSDKu6B
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6YlccxbJEO
奈何我當年愚鈍懵懂，後知後覺。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB6MBnzy1ga
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSLdm8J7RBc
如果我當年及早清楚知道自己的意向，結果會否不一樣？526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGcQSOrWElX
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfNX7Kqdrtg
我笑自己想多了：結果會是一樣的。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYuIEK0U7fE
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkyEh7H0M4e
我是懦弱的人，我珍愛自己，所以我不會為他人冒險。我寧願花上一輩子去幻想錯過了的美好愛情，亦不會勇敢踏前一步去追求愛情。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbrSi72YQwh
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVRdmWgge1E
李浩榮說得沒錯，我不值得被愛。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC9ZVT6iNPZ
事隔四十年，昔日摯友躺在棺材裡，往日心上人站在我面前。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwJ8vBnH8m5
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ6QCQ5thOF
百感交集……526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Ig14WDPg7
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKH9n0JUmQb
當年我為了許家偉與阿強鬧翻，事後亦沒敢聯絡許家偉。同時失去摯友和心上人，情感上的痛令我失眠了好幾年。那時候，還以為痛楚會一直維持下去，有如浪漫淒美感人的愛情電影情節。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOQirZ0OMkA
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFtYwa6UslN
不過電影終究與現實不同：角色的難忘遭遇濃縮在短短一個半小時裡，情感故此顯得激烈而深刻；現實中的情感必須經過時間洗禮和加入許多愛情以外因素，例如家庭、工作、健康、個人財政等等。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsJoYODoisd
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgAljwTrnb4
痛楚自然而然被淡化掉。我漸漸忘了阿強的忠肝義膽和許家偉的獨特魅力，直至今日再聚……526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4faO2aApFx
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvhxW0Hnkvm
「認得我嗎？我是許家偉。」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBeRht8xoE0
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwd6eNv2Lvb
「認得。你是文班的。」526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8pMeaxPF8u
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxHOPUyJSvj
許家偉淺笑，笑容如昔，淡然清雅溫婉。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlqY90CXFsK
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdv1h2ZxdIP
閒聊之間，發現他仍然單身。究其原因，他只道難為情。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOsCu70OLrz
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaNBknyoz0y
「你不值得被愛。」我蔑笑。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkBF8xM6Rd1
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3TrjUPpgcP
四十年過去，許家偉仍是當初那個許家偉。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaXFT9zTc63
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi0jpwhVDpB
阿強沒講錯——他的內心不會強大得能夠與我共同面對一切。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXGHajoC4Zz
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡodGkdUXEcY
「我懂得珍愛自己就可以。」許家偉笑著說。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡru6SMa9aGM
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC7ikDr7Pku
許家偉在認真？他真心認為這是珍愛自己的行徑？526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm4zFi0ZFZw
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVdiYH5XOqK
我哭笑不得。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1wKA3bsuWp
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZX28S05UQ
無意跟他繼續對話。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8DTinnr159
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ubPhMtiXC
多寒暄幾句，我和許家偉相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfL2mAiKcjC
526Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKYiVxIfPpg
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。
