943Please respect copyright.PENANAtRxPUrwztZ
三十分鐘前,我在一個有半個游泳池咁大的浴缸洗完澡,那裡水深約半米,我可以放鬆自己,浮在浴缸,看著雪白色的大理石天花板思考人生。943Please respect copyright.PENANAELacGKvnjt
943Please respect copyright.PENANAD5zkhRVlEF
講到要思考人生,其實又有什麼要思考呢?或者我應該想想自己四十多年的人生都在幹什麼?前日如夢一般的驚魂夜?盧卡斯的傷勢?阿花想要我幹什麼?靚妹女僕為什麼會懂法文?還是說,畢加索為何能夠用短短一小時將潦倒的我塑造成一個成功人士?943Please respect copyright.PENANAA3344tocb5
943Please respect copyright.PENANARyOzKBOYKv
應該因為他是一個好撚勁的髮形師吧?943Please respect copyright.PENANAnmgzlUO6HJ
943Please respect copyright.PENANAu5ZZ82Kbhr
被他理過髮後,我覺得只有這種人才有資格被稱為髮形師,幾百蚊剪一個頭的頂多也只能稱為飛髮佬,而收四十蚊提供十分鐘快剪服務,即是我對上十幾次所幫襯剪髮連鎖店裡的,大概應該稱之為剪草員。943Please respect copyright.PENANAgZeL6e6OKC
943Please respect copyright.PENANAlnsxtWcavg
我打開I Phone,用前置鏡頭看看自己的衰樣,其實個樣已經一D都唔鳩衰,我甚至懷疑畫面中的人是誰,看來陳錦波還未能接受自己的全新形象,你話我自戀都係咁話,我而家真係好好好好好撚有型。943Please respect copyright.PENANA0oIvKQ4qO1
943Please respect copyright.PENANAiCae3XmPFv
人靠衣裝,佛靠金裝,未必盡是對的,現在我只轉了個髮型,已經成個人唔同哂,我不能想像再穿上訂造西裝的自己有幾成功,有幾有型,幾鳩咁威,幾鳩咁靚仔。943Please respect copyright.PENANAA7wtQ14u5r
943Please respect copyright.PENANADJBsPGRo9h
可能是我多心有幻覺,或是真有其事,洗完澡後靚妹女僕幫我梳頭時,我感覺到她的表現多了一份尊重,整整二十分鐘吹頭的過程當中,她沒有再用那有禮中帶點輕佻的語氣跟我說話,眼神也不再像之前,整個過程中,她是專注,認真,以及嚴謹的。943Please respect copyright.PENANAWwNjBDb9n2
943Please respect copyright.PENANA2JqRZ3Sc3s
當然有可能是為了專心一致地梳好我的頭,所以才會有這樣的表現,但我依然覺得她的態度確實有著明顯的改變,不管真實答案是怎樣,這樣想會使我心情好D,所以咪鳩同我拗喇,我鐘意點諗就點諗,完全唔鳩關你,唔鳩關靚妹女僕或是任何一個人事。943Please respect copyright.PENANA2AsaAfGR4x
943Please respect copyright.PENANAL1Gh0h7RMQ
她用了二十分鐘梳好我的頭,正面看看我,確認自己的工作已一絲不苟地完成後,就粒聲唔出執拾梳頭用的工具。943Please respect copyright.PENANAMIuKbGQkB6
943Please respect copyright.PENANA5Cq0cMfvah
雖然她沒有下一步的指示或要求,但我想都想到接下來要做的就只有一件事,就是等那個身家過億的超級富豪來臨,親自向我發出下一步的命令。943Please respect copyright.PENANAQGz2wlPhNa
943Please respect copyright.PENANAn4xcyVjsZm
所以我沒有問靚妹女僕什麼,安守本份地坐在床上。943Please respect copyright.PENANA9dd8jolzp5
943Please respect copyright.PENANACBG0B168W4
坦白說,對於自己這個舉動,我是驚訝的。943Please respect copyright.PENANAFa4NZUg3Vb
943Please respect copyright.PENANA2JELcxoRoT
感覺上髮型換了,就好像連靈魂都換了一樣,換作舊陳錦波,應該會向靚妹問一大餐,又或是搏機會率,向她要求找個大波妹全套揼骨連出火。943Please respect copyright.PENANAMF1aOgvlAV
943Please respect copyright.PENANAPVKoOyEPC9
但我沒有這樣做。943Please respect copyright.PENANA0veGaA1jir
943Please respect copyright.PENANArmRxs4NdBN
講真,我認為自己現在就好像林肯,華盛頓或是孫中山等等名人一樣。943Please respect copyright.PENANAtPgF1fUgHz
943Please respect copyright.PENANAKNBw4MX1Jb
你話佢地會唔會問人:「可唔可以幫我出火?」又或者「幾錢一Q?」一定唔會囉!943Please respect copyright.PENANAV8JMDQDiXH
943Please respect copyright.PENANAmVIuvNiSSP
嗯……啊……其實都可能會既……943Please respect copyright.PENANAQRe1kJnbPP
943Please respect copyright.PENANA3a0lYF2ShJ
屌,是但啦,總之我唔撚會咁做,新陳錦波係絕對(暫時)唔鳩會咁做,OK?943Please respect copyright.PENANA41Y80Rrlf6
943Please respect copyright.PENANA2vXGsauMBa
943Please respect copyright.PENANA6RVkLKDDqM
大約十分鐘後,一絲一掛的靚妹一臉羞澀地下床,執拾被掉到地上的女僕裝快速地穿好,故作冷淡卻帶著含情脈脈地回頭望我一眼,然後快速離開房間。943Please respect copyright.PENANA51T6DIMQJB
943Please respect copyright.PENANANUegfTVOxm
而我就穿好浴袍,走到房間角落的小雪櫃前,看著裡面的飲品,有啤酒,汽水,礦泉水……我二話不說就取走最有品味的有汽礦泉水,這附合我現在的身份。943Please respect copyright.PENANAcG9UHjCWbM
943Please respect copyright.PENANATOXLYDbPu6
回到梳化,我扭開樽蓋,一記爽快的「滋~」一聲隨即響起,我一邊品嘗著不太喝得慣的有汽礦泉水,一邊將焦點回到電視。943Please respect copyright.PENANAWq2dwqSUPg
943Please respect copyright.PENANAKZERaXIU0z
它正播著一套不知名的美劇,看來並不有趣,而且師奶成份甚重,看兩眼我就拿起遙控開始轉台。943Please respect copyright.PENANASO8uyZjzSY
943Please respect copyright.PENANA15ySGKTh2T
香港得果兩個台,而事實上真係播緊節目既就只有一個,但依個台通常都係播埋D黃X藍扮女人的所謂綜藝,結局永遠BBQ的劇集,是是但但的新聞,成為富豪富婆舞台的慈善節目……所以簡單D黎講,睇得入眼既節目就只有零個!943Please respect copyright.PENANA9UYONGuKFo
943Please respect copyright.PENANAhYoACMOvKV
可能美國佬無遠見,完全唔注重電視台太多會出現「不健康競爭」,所以美國有好多個電視台。943Please respect copyright.PENANALwlCdHQSre
943Please respect copyright.PENANAyRVNC0z5SI
我不停轉台,最後其中一個台所播的新聞吸引了我的眼球,是今日下午我所牽涉,又或是因我而起那場遊行的最新情況。943Please respect copyright.PENANAn4vSK8CXn0
943Please respect copyright.PENANAKCeXDVRkph
按報導,之所以有大群亞洲人群起遊行,目的是要求芝加哥市長關注市內3K黨以及其他鬼佬對亞洲人的歧視所引起的種種事件。943Please respect copyright.PENANAmnN6zSWJCN
943Please respect copyright.PENANAZyV338nkE2
其實我不明白他們為何要在成吉思汗殺了兩個3K黨後才出來遊行,要遊行其實早就可以行動吧?943Please respect copyright.PENANAw0XivhiYwi
943Please respect copyright.PENANAWnQPenwQ5T
難道因為終於有人走出來替他們伸張「正義」,所以膽都壯一點嗎?943Please respect copyright.PENANAwHHsatwnUc
943Please respect copyright.PENANArJlxzvqJCx
看來他們的膽真的壯大了,甚至乎壯得太大,因為他們已經開始在市中心與一批武裝警察發生衝突。943Please respect copyright.PENANAcnZVYDydJh
943Please respect copyright.PENANArje87uBNrI
起初他們並沒有燒車呔之類的行動,但拋石頭,用木棍反擊還是少不免。943Please respect copyright.PENANAp6jpj8RA6o
943Please respect copyright.PENANAQ9xMK0RxDQ
在前線有一排人,閱人無數的我眼力不錯,兩眼就知道他們是韓國仔與越南仔的混合戰線,他們非常狼死,對武裝警察的盾用拳,用腳,用棍進行瘋狂攻擊。943Please respect copyright.PENANAsVwQvICOA1
943Please respect copyright.PENANAPxIH1shn3K
其後武裝警察開始推前戰線,驅趕示威人群,一班越南仔立即發難,開始推倒警車又燒車呔,以及打爆店鋪玻璃打劫,雙方武力隨即升級,引起混亂。943Please respect copyright.PENANAal8oROSSzc
943Please respect copyright.PENANAQ8RAjVhCD4
「嘩,好暴力,好唔文明囉!」943Please respect copyright.PENANACENxA76Nok
943Please respect copyright.PENANAyv2ZmAAu82
「一打人就比理由警察開槍清場架喇!」943Please respect copyright.PENANAGT3zeCAIwG
943Please respect copyright.PENANA56oZC5k7ZD
如果我是個土生土長,天真可愛的香港人,應該就會說出以上的話。可惜今次令各位失望了,實在對唔鳩柒閪撚住,因為理性和平對我來說根本是一督屎!943Please respect copyright.PENANAR8yHHI8PkT
943Please respect copyright.PENANASeGnCQVoHR
我以前是個江湖中人,讀書唔多,道理我勉強都聽得明,但文明理性依D野對我黎講真係戇鳩鳩。943Please respect copyright.PENANASOhOV65Dad
943Please respect copyright.PENANAkr9VcR4M6B
以前出黎行古惑的時候,有無人會舉高雙手同人講數?943Please respect copyright.PENANALD3xiqiMxp
943Please respect copyright.PENANAauowWcrgxS
即係我舉高雙手,然後同隔黎社團喪鷹講:943Please respect copyright.PENANAwQbZublZCh
943Please respect copyright.PENANAtISl2aZQGo
「梁生,其實我想話你琴日搵人黎踩我場真係一個唔好既決定,你知唔知我地既損失真係好大架?希望你唔好再擴充你既地盤,令我地難做啦。」943Please respect copyright.PENANALFdwug8mDE
943Please respect copyright.PENANAY3zEJtAwRt
然後佢就會話:「你既意見,我地已經收到喇,但其實我地社團就依件事已經作出左兩個星期既內部資詢,衡量過後,我地社團應該有能力應乎今次既發展。所以今次既計劃已經得到我地社團佔八成以上既票數支持,絕對係合情,合理同埋合法既。相反你而家非法入侵我既私人地方搵我,依件事就完全唔合理喇,我希望你可以用合法既方式黎表代自己既訴求。」943Please respect copyright.PENANA16Tbo8LIHF
943Please respect copyright.PENANAMdFWOY18KD
然後我又將一封請願信交予喪鷹:「可能我係進入左你既私人地方,但我咁做,都係為左尋求一次對話既機會,而且我無對你進行任何暴力行動,所以希望你可以接受我地社團既訴求,依封係我地既請願信。」943Please respect copyright.PENANAnffuaAVop3
943Please respect copyright.PENANA8dwCeUUF8I
「好,我接受你既信件,就你地既訴求,我地社團會進行新一輪既討論,並且盡快回覆。」943Please respect copyright.PENANAdpOYK1jgIo
943Please respect copyright.PENANAUwolAx3q6x
喪鷹接過我的請願信後,我們兩人就此握手,期待事情下一步有更好的發展。943Please respect copyright.PENANAAQkc2DPjk4
943Please respect copyright.PENANA1boECpiU6p
如果你覺得講數係咁撚樣既話?我真係無野好講,話你戇鳩驚你嬲,咪話阿叔唔教精你,講數唔係咁撚樣既!943Please respect copyright.PENANAswyrp3fT96
943Please respect copyright.PENANAwNyblVoCh7
943Please respect copyright.PENANA35ndrPSCX5
講數應該係咁撚樣架!戇鳩仔!943Please respect copyright.PENANABNvoUxSUoj
943Please respect copyright.PENANAjy6ecBoA7B
雄哥帶著約十個人,手持武器,格硬殺入喪鷹竇口,雄哥走到喪鷹面前,一腳踢開擋在前面的凳,第一句就屌柒喪鷹老母:943Please respect copyright.PENANA34vDBgbVmq
943Please respect copyright.PENANAkihBmJraeV
「喪鷹!我屌你老母啊!搞鳩我個場!?」943Please respect copyright.PENANAYuanmmeTgY
943Please respect copyright.PENANApRbDAJr5X2
聽罷喪鷹冷笑一聲,聲大夾惡而且胸有成竹地回應:「係啊!咁又點撚樣啊!?我唔只搞你一個場,遲D我搞鳩你成個區添啊!閤家產!」943Please respect copyright.PENANAmeiITux8rM
943Please respect copyright.PENANACGWuF2OP8C
雄哥接過我交上的大哥大,再中氣十足地威脅道:「好啊!咁睇下你搞惦我個場,定我搞惦你條女先!?」943Please respect copyright.PENANA1cQ9jtLBI0
943Please respect copyright.PENANAdsb8OxkAbg
喪鷹原本皺著的左邊眉頭隨即抽動幾下,故作鎮定地怒吼:「乜撚野女?你拋鳩我啊!?」943Please respect copyright.PENANAZ9rrK68iaQ
943Please respect copyright.PENANAKlKyY24myz
同時間,雄哥已撥通大哥大,將其掉向喪鷹,看起來已穩操勝券地說:943Please respect copyright.PENANAlzV3KgF0qo
943Please respect copyright.PENANA0qDJWz9Amz
「你自己聽下咪知囉!到時睇下邊個先係閤家產?」943Please respect copyright.PENANADcDKH6gQzV
943Please respect copyright.PENANAITRz5yfMqZ
接過電話,喪鷹臉色由黑轉紅,紅轉青,掛線後激動得連聲音都在抖顫,勉強低聲下氣地向雄哥說:943Please respect copyright.PENANAn4WzEfrZyg
943Please respect copyright.PENANAwKWdEMX2AM
「阿雄……唔好玩咁大啊……禍不及妻兒……」943Please respect copyright.PENANAuJR1xjCSrY
943Please respect copyright.PENANAZSo4Vmas2b
乘著氣氛,雄哥當然食住上,攞到盡,立即大大聲怒屌:943Please respect copyright.PENANAdOXCZ9WpSb
943Please respect copyright.PENANAUlzGi6gqai
「我屌你老母啊,你老婆就係人?我琴日比你斬到爆哂缸果幾個兄弟就唔撚係人!?」943Please respect copyright.PENANAlvhoNbdSMI
943Please respect copyright.PENANAvaX2GqvRSZ
就這樣,喪鷹的氣勢已跌到谷底,如同待宰羔羊,等待雄哥發落:「等等…雄哥……萬事有商量……我地可以再傾下……」943Please respect copyright.PENANAPfRU63E3ae
943Please respect copyright.PENANArj6NgyAIHp
事實就係咁撚樣,依件事絕對係真人真事,事後喪鷹唔敢再搞雄哥,無幾耐重比人拉左落馬,聽人講結局重死得好慘。943Please respect copyright.PENANAMsbOe5Qzac
943Please respect copyright.PENANA8fyOlR2rhB
943Please respect copyright.PENANAh3uVyZ9xm8
所以你同我講,話和平?理性?你估雄哥真係走去交完請願信會點?你覺得喪鷹事後真係會開會?然後比個完滿既答覆雄哥,話:943Please respect copyright.PENANAQQSK11aeYS
943Please respect copyright.PENANAGfg80xM2tt
「雄先生,經過新一輪既討論,我地發現今次既擴張確實有唔少地方準備不足,對貴社團造成唔少不便,所以我方將會終止今次既計劃,對貴社團造成影響,實在萬份抱歉。」943Please respect copyright.PENANAQshCNjgtDx
943Please respect copyright.PENANAJQ4iLKEzkz
屌你老母都戇鳩鳩,你唔係真係咁天真,覺得喪鷹會咁撚樣講啊?發你個春夢啦!戇鳩閪!943Please respect copyright.PENANAVQpOHx3riO
943Please respect copyright.PENANACx9Q1ZdIzF
943Please respect copyright.PENANAdcSgBWcQzX
當時雄哥同我講過一段說話,到依家我依然一字一句記得清清楚楚:943Please respect copyright.PENANAWFXKG4CKfZ
943Please respect copyright.PENANAbzNH85xxxG
「阿波,我話鳩過你知!我做左咁閪多年人,發覺其實世界就只有一個道理,一條規則!一句講哂:「人就係唔撚見棺材,就唔閪會流眼淚!」所以同人講數,就一定要帶埋個棺材去!無論邊閪個都好,只要一見鳩到個棺材,佢地就自自然然會同你講道理嫁喇!」943Please respect copyright.PENANAaKS0pKXcHQ
943Please respect copyright.PENANAbNN7n24zPI
雖然我開始做M記之後,就開始睇書,思想慢慢與世界接軌,但雄哥這套道理,即使到現在,對我來說還是有鐵一般道理的。943Please respect copyright.PENANA6IkjIuVQhj
943Please respect copyright.PENANAfw7roQEyiI
回想起在香港,高鐵,國民教育,王維基開不了台,還有每年七一,我們都會遊行,但成功爭取的又有多少次?943Please respect copyright.PENANAQHqWRLII87
943Please respect copyright.PENANAToDFT6r5ry
在這方面,相信民建聯絕對比我們多。943Please respect copyright.PENANA0VnKPO0hgu
943Please respect copyright.PENANAWiFhXSBaQv
為什麼會這樣?因為我們人不夠多?不夠誠意?道理不在我們這一邊?當然不是。943Please respect copyright.PENANArV3Tjk0I0b
943Please respect copyright.PENANAHwQLGRWbJb
因為我們太鳩有文明鳥!943Please respect copyright.PENANA8Htk2zA2Q1
943Please respect copyright.PENANApBFvUbZooj
我們文明到相信大家有能力,可以在不帶棺材的情況下達成目的。943Please respect copyright.PENANAuhhI4bI6tt
943Please respect copyright.PENANApiv6mbINhP
可是你不帶棺材是你的事,在你相信對方都會以禮相待的時候,其實對方正一步一步哄騙你乖乖躺進棺材裡。943Please respect copyright.PENANANQbcksgEH8
943Please respect copyright.PENANAmhWmav5qeD
當你意識到這一切的時候,希望跳出去打佢一鑊金的時候,已經太遲了,你再沒有這個機會,因為棺都已經封了,而且埋在五十米下的地底。943Please respect copyright.PENANAA7MXefakgk
943Please respect copyright.PENANA0CscAacb3M
到時候,你可以做的就只有一件事,就是一邊回想自己從前戇鳩鳩失去過多少次良機,一邊乖乖地等死。943Please respect copyright.PENANAB0SsvsPA8p
943Please respect copyright.PENANAUBagGgYBOM
又或者你會相信對方最後會良心發現將你拯救,但我只能說戇鳩到最後一刻,也許是一種福氣。943Please respect copyright.PENANAoj2qCeJlc2
943Please respect copyright.PENANABJ86kOdHNL
943Please respect copyright.PENANAzpbXb0h9RM
所以我認同韓國仔與越南仔的做法,看著眾勇士如何展示自己的威武,被胡椒噴霧顏射當食生菜,並且猛力瘋狂反擊,甚至令我懷疑那支是胡椒噴霧還是忌廉。943Please respect copyright.PENANAYlr5JWJPu3
943Please respect copyright.PENANApZkYdwGV80
示威群後排的華人邊走避邊食花生,雖然我也在食花生,不過不同的是,我正安坐在一所超級豪宅裡,喝著高貴的有汽礦泉水食花生。943Please respect copyright.PENANAHTTByGPuk7
943Please respect copyright.PENANAN0xFoe9uNU
鏡頭一轉,見到已是以剛剛前線最狼死的越南仔為首,一班人被制服拘捕的畫面。943Please respect copyright.PENANA22JKsjVkFv
943Please respect copyright.PENANAZQJVd1zGf5
主播接著講解,市長在騷亂過後快速反應,就一班亞洲人的要求發出公開聲明,表示會盡快進行改善,承諾徹查3K黨的暴力事件,即時頒令芝加哥警察部重點執法,以及計劃向某個亞洲移民援助機構加大撥款,得到滿意的回覆,在市中心的亞洲人群就開始散去。943Please respect copyright.PENANAVISej9mHXZ
943Please respect copyright.PENANAspz1RwTE78
雖然在香港的話我並不會相信這個承諾,但這裡是美國,可信度應該是可接受水平的。943Please respect copyright.PENANA7K7vhCce3z
943Please respect copyright.PENANAhnqdz5quEj
而且承諾沒有兌現的話,對市長應該也有著某程度上的壓力。943Please respect copyright.PENANAnmHDs6enzd
943Please respect copyright.PENANA6GstcGlEmq
若果近期出現亞洲人被害,又不好好執法的事件的話,亞洲人肯定會站出來,到時人將會更多,行動亦會升級。943Please respect copyright.PENANAM0ua9zzCJF
943Please respect copyright.PENANADgaL5jel8z
市長的職位凍過水之餘,他在政治界的地位名聲都會受到損害。943Please respect copyright.PENANAcxwm0iunYj
943Please respect copyright.PENANAiobLqFp403
看到這裡,主播已開始報下一段新聞,而客房的門也打開了,望過去,果然億萬富豪阿花已經來到,她面無表情地望著我,打量著我,看來對於我的新形象,她也感到有點驚奇吧。943Please respect copyright.PENANApmlGBbv0nk
943Please respect copyright.PENANAFZhkEZF4M0
943Please respect copyright.PENANA7RSfNmeiK9
好,我已經準備好鳥!看看偉人——新陳錦波接下來會遇到什麼新挑戰吧!
943Please respect copyright.PENANAs1ThvYDais
943Please respect copyright.PENANAeDdt3rccZc